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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Republicans cannot even be trusted with their own money.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

People are complicated. Love is not.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

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You are here: Home / Politics / GOP Death Cult / Late Night Open Thread: Ted Cruz Wants His Just Desserts

Late Night Open Thread: Ted Cruz Wants His Just Desserts

by Anne Laurie|  December 28, 202112:27 am| 55 Comments

This post is in: GOP Death Cult, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Schadenfreude

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2nd paragraph of that piece is _AMAZING_ !

There’s a steamer trunk of craziness to unpack, but check out the first 2 clauses:

“In an interview with the Truth Gazette, a conservative outlet run by 15-year-old Brilyn Hollyhand…”

WTF? https://t.co/VmA9dBA3qK

— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) December 23, 2021

And Murphy the Trickster God will no doubt ensure he gets them, good and hard. A man who needs to seek out fifteen-year-old ‘journalists’ for his ego-uplifting needs is a sorry spectacle, and the Washington Post‘s Phillip Bump is not averse to taking advantage:

One of the odder moments of the 2016 election was the announcement of the Republican running mate. Not Donald Trump’s announcement of Mike Pence. Sen. Ted Cruz’s announcement of Carly Fiorina.

Perhaps you’d forgotten this little incident. It was late April 2016, and it was already nearly certain that Trump would be the Republican Party’s nominee. Cruz (R-Tex.), eager to shock his campaign back into viability, took the unusual step of announcing that, if he won, he’d run with Fiorina at his side. Fiorina had been a candidate, too, so Cruz’s announcement seemed to be an effort to scoop up whatever loyal supporters she had — and, of course, to appeal to Republican women. It didn’t work.

It was very Ted Cruz, though. His political career has often involved too-clever efforts to game the rules to his advantage and related stunts. Even then, Cruz’s path to the nomination involved not winning more delegates but keeping Trump from getting enough to clinch at the convention. Cruz stayed in the fight to win not on votes but on process (a preview of his pre-Jan. 6 efforts, it turns out).

But Cruz excels at making lemon-related beverages out of lemons. So, in an interview with a 15-year-old conservative media personality, Cruz cited his not-quite-enough performance in 2016 as a mark that he could be 2024′s front-runner…

“I ran in 2016. It was the most fun I’ve ever had in my life,” Cruz said. “We had a very crowded field with 17 candidates in the race, very strong field. And I ended up placing second. And you know, there’s a reason historically that the runner-up is almost always the next nominee.”

That’s true. There were reasons historically that Republicans who fared well in prior nominating contests continued on to later win the nomination. For one, they had experience building infrastructure and raising the money needed for an extended national campaign. For another, they built relationships with members of the establishment that helped them more quickly solidify support.

But that system was essentially shattered in the very campaign in which Cruz came in second.

Trump’s candidacy succeeded explicitly because he wasn’t operating in that system. He didn’t need to raise as much money, given his high profile and ability to attract media attention (to frame it generously on the media’s end). He built a ferociously loyal following that allowed him to outlast a crowded field and let him essentially forgo competition in 2020…

I’ll hedge my bets here: Cruz is well known and has done a good job staying close to the Republican right. He does know how to run a national campaign and can raise money. Early polling is notoriously iffy, but he’s in the mix among the top candidates — once Trump is excluded. It’s not impossible that things could fall into place and he could be the nominee.

But as was the case in 2016, the nomination will not really be determined by historical nominating patterns. It will probably be determined by what Trump decides to do.

And Ted Cruz’s candidacy would be an endless gift to President Biden, or whomever is the Democrat’s 2024 nominee. The more normal humans are exposed to Ted Cruz, the less they like him — this seems to be true even for his own kids. Ed Kilgore, at NYMag:

… You know what Cruz’s happy-talk about 2016 really sounds like? The fond recollections of a has-been pol who knows that his last run is as close to the presidency as he will ever come.

IDIOT OF THE YEAR #9: Ted Cruz, captain of the anti-vax Dream Team https://t.co/yFmhZq8j7W pic.twitter.com/IPfeqVR1TA

— Deadspin (@Deadspin) December 27, 2021

https://t.co/E85uZT9myU pic.twitter.com/ZiYidQDGeB

— Danger Bear (@RhinoReally) December 24, 2021

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Reader Interactions

55Comments

  1. 1.

    Jerzy Russian

    December 28, 2021 at 12:30 am

    Christ, what an asshole!

  2. 2.

    David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch

    December 28, 2021 at 12:33 am

    Will they hold the convention in Cancun?

  3. 3.

    Jerzy Russian

    December 28, 2021 at 12:35 am

    Also, too:  For the Love of God, don’t Google “Brilyn Hollyhand”. Lord Jesus Christ in a Crosswalk, what a hot mess.  The first mistake 15 years ago was the name “Brilyn”, and it has gone downhill ever since.

  4. 4.

    Another Scott

    December 28, 2021 at 12:39 am

    But, but, Rafael was born in Calgary, AB, Canada, eh??  Maybe we oughta see his long-form birth certificate…

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  5. 5.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 28, 2021 at 12:45 am

    @David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch: Yup, if Ted gets to choose the venue.

  6. 6.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 28, 2021 at 12:49 am

    @Another Scott: It’s all good, he renounced his Canadian citizenship a few years ago.

  7. 7.

    Steeplejack

    December 28, 2021 at 12:55 am

    It’s just deserts, for chrissakes! From the same root word as deserve.

    Also, while I’m on a rant, the possessive of people is people’s, like the possessive of children is children’s. Not peoples’.

  8. 8.

    RaflW

    December 28, 2021 at 1:05 am

    “I ran in 2016. It was the most fun I’ve ever had in my life.”

    Cruz in this quote is telling the truth. He has had such an execrably dull, sad & covetous life that having the pants beat off him by someone more slothful and clearly much dumber — yet more ruthless and possibly more cunning — counts as the most fun he’s ever had.

  9. 9.

    The Dangerman

    December 28, 2021 at 1:07 am

    Hold on, Brilyn is the name of a young MAN? I suppose that’s fine in a Johnny Cash and Sue kinda way. As in, he should Sue his Parents.

  10. 10.

    Another Scott

    December 28, 2021 at 1:09 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: But does that make him “natural born”??  I think concerned citizens should make sure that they ask him about it for the next 3 years and investigate and file lawsuits, just to be sure.  There could be clouds and shadows, and people are unsure and asking questions.  That’s what people are saying…

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  11. 11.

    Jay

    December 28, 2021 at 1:11 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    a great day for Canada,… soon to be a National Holiday.

  12. 12.

    Starboard Tack

    December 28, 2021 at 1:20 am

    I wonder who hates him more, his wife or himself.

  13. 13.

    Mart

    December 28, 2021 at 1:24 am

    Al Franken

    “Here’s the thing you have to understand about Ted Cruz, I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz.”

  14. 14.

    HumboldtBlue

    December 28, 2021 at 1:31 am

    Pulled up from the previous thread.

    Here’s a taste of the latest earthquake from inside a moving vehicle.

    If you’re standing in your kitchen at that moment you’re like, “is that another strong wind gust… or WHOA THAT’S A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE!”

  15. 15.

    Roger Moore

    December 28, 2021 at 1:32 am

    @Starboard Tack:

    I wonder who hates him more, his wife or himself.

    I think figuring this out requires some advanced transfinite math.

  16. 16.

    Steeplejack

    December 28, 2021 at 1:32 am

    If they went nuts over Obama’s birth certificate, they should be apoplectic over Cruz. He admits he was born outside the U.S.

  17. 17.

    JWR

    December 28, 2021 at 1:33 am

    @The Dangerman:

    Hold on, Brilyn is the name of a young MAN?

    My reaction, too. And yeah, I was brave enough to Google the name, but not brave enough to click on any of the links, chose “Images” instead, and thar she he blew.

    Now to figure out how to pronounce “Brilyn”. Bry-lyn? Brill-in? Who knows? (Who cares?)

  18. 18.

    feebog

    December 28, 2021 at 1:34 am

    Why is Ted Cruz taking a leak in a gold tiled restroom?

  19. 19.

    JWR

    December 28, 2021 at 1:38 am

    @HumboldtBlue: Re earthquake in a car. I’ve heard it feels like a soon to be flat tire.

  20. 20.

    Steeplejack

    December 28, 2021 at 1:54 am

    @JWR:

    They appear to be saying “Bry-lin” on YouTube, which I do not recommend looking up.

  21. 21.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 28, 2021 at 1:57 am

    @HumboldtBlue: Madame was driving to do clothes shopping for her store when the Whitter Narrows quake hit, she thought she was having a serious car problem, like maybe with the transmission.

  22. 22.

    JWR

    December 28, 2021 at 1:58 am

    Another “Karen” in tonight’s news:

    Los Angeles woman faces federal charge after allegedly punching another passenger on Delta flight

    … When Cornwall asked the flight attendant to help her find her seat, the flight attendant requested that she find an open seat until beverage service was complete, the complaint says.

    “(Cornwall) responded to the flight attendant, ‘What am I Rosa Parks?'” the complaint says.

    The male passenger said he “told Cornwall it was an inappropriate comment and that she ‘isn’t black….this isn’t Alabama and this isn’t a bus,’ ” according to the complaint.

    The man then purportedly told Cornwall to “sit down Karen,” according to the complaint.

  23. 23.

    HumboldtBlue

    December 28, 2021 at 1:58 am

    @JWR:

    Lady friend called me from the road as it happened, a bit shaken, she thought the same thing.

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    Similar here, and it’s an anecdote I’ve heard from dozens of people who have experienced a quake.

  24. 24.

    Ruckus

    December 28, 2021 at 2:20 am

    @Jerzy Russian:

    Christ, what an asshole!

    He is in fact, a very obvious asshole. Unfortunately there is no shortage of very obvious assholes on the conservative side of the aisle even though he does seem to stand out with more than a bit of extra obviousness.

  25. 25.

    Ruckus

    December 28, 2021 at 2:27 am

    @Roger Moore:

    I call it a draw. She hasn’t left him and he hasn’t done himself in. So there must be some amount of enjoyment both of them take in assholes. And please I don’t want to ever have to write something like that last sentence ever again.

  26. 26.

    Geminid

    December 28, 2021 at 2:58 am

    @Ruckus: Cruz might be chickening out of another Senate run. His internal polling could be looking bad, and Cruz may figure he would lose his reelection. He might not even be renominated; Dan Crenshaw acts like he’s ready to move up.

  27. 27.

    JWR

    December 28, 2021 at 3:04 am

    Speaking of assholes, Jared Schmeck, 100% schmuck:

    Reiterating what he’s told other media outlets—that he’s a “Christian man” and he loves “God first and foremost”—Schmeck also claimed that he doesn’t “follow any one man blindly.”

    At the same time, the Oregon dad took issue with any reports claiming he is not a Donald Trump supporter, though he said he’s not a “Trumper” during his Oregonian interview. “That’s absolutely false,” Schmeck told Bannon. “Donald Trump is my president, and he should still be president right now.”

    Expressing his loyalty to the twice-impeached ex-president, the ex-cop then parroted Trump’s baseless and false claims about last year’s presidential election.

    “The election was 100 percent stolen,” he declared. “So, I just want to make that clear.”

    That Daily Beast image is the first I’ve seen of this God fearing idiot. Maybe it’s the MAGA hat that brings out the Stupid in people. Or vise versa.

  28. 28.

    Elizabelle

    December 28, 2021 at 3:09 am

    @JWR:  Your “Karen on a plane” story gets better, in many ways.

    “Karen” — actually Patricia Cornwall of Los Angeles, age 51, got to spend the Christmas holiday in jail.  Been there since December 23, unless she’s been sprung.

    And, turns out she’s a former NFL cheerleader, for the Raiders, and appeared on Baywatch, Married with Children, and a movie about Playboy.  May currently be a realtor with Coldwell Banker, although her license may have expired in 2017.   NY Post unearthed those details.

    From your CNN story:  The judge in Atlanta had enough, and was refreshingly strict with her.  $20,000 bond, will eventually be allowed to fly home to LA — not on Delta, which has put her sorry ass on its no-fly list — and then:  no travel permitted whatsoever on planes, trains, or buses.  (Take that, “Rosa Parks.”)

    The NY Post, with more details of the incident:

    The two then exchanged insults with the man telling Cornwall to “sit down, Karen!”

    Cornwall responded, “sit down pu–y,” according to the court documents.

    According to a video of the incident captured by another passenger’s cell phone the two also screamed at each other to “mask up!”

    Cornwall is then seen slapping the man, who shouts, “You’re going to jail!”

    Police arrested Cornwall at the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport and she was later taken into custody by the FBI.

    She posted a $20,000 bond at her arraignment. A judge ruled that she can only fly to return home to Los Angeles.

  29. 29.

    Elizabelle

    December 28, 2021 at 3:26 am

    @JWR:  More on the “Brandon” tool, from your Daily Beast link (italics):

    Schmeck then proclaimed that the use of the not-so-inside joke was a way to air a number of common right-wing grievances in one fell swoop.

    “‘Let’s Go Brandon’ is more than just ‘F Joe Biden.’ ‘Let’s Go Brandon’ encompasses the entirety of our frustration with Joe Biden, the administration, the leftist mob, the cancel culture, the mainstream media,” he insisted. “They’re the ones who made this a thing.”

    He’s a former cop.  Thank dog he is no longer on the force.  I’m curious as to why he left law enforcement, and am sure some enterprising reporters are looking into that.

    We need to purge law enforcement of people like Mr. Schmeck.  Cancel them, to use his phrase.  We are not safe when that level of spite carries a gun.

    I am sorry that Biden had to be exposed to his man’s immaturity.  OTOH, unless you’re a fellow MAGA mouth breather, Schmeck’s behavior stands out as aberrant.

  30. 30.

    JWR

    December 28, 2021 at 3:34 am

    @Elizabelle:

    A judge ruled that she can only fly to return home to Los Angeles.

    Playboy? Cheerleader? Wow, this really is getting better! ;) On her return flight, I presume she’ll be handcuffed to an FBI or other agent, or otherwise restrained? In any case, there goes her Realty job. Another idjit bites it.

  31. 31.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2021 at 4:10 am

    Absolutely no desire to discuss assholes

    Maybe cease and desist giving them center stage. Just a thought.

  32. 32.

    JWR

    December 28, 2021 at 4:29 am

    @Elizabelle:

    He’s a former cop. Thank dog he is no longer on the force.

    Amen to that! And a commenter in an earlier thread mentioned that, in the latest police shooting, in a Los Angeles Burlington Coat Factory, the officer with the AR type rifle was told to “slow down” numerous times before he opened up, and trigger-happy cops are the last thing we need.

    Also, not sure if “trigger-happy cops” is unnecessarily harsh, but I’m also thinking of another L.A. area police shooting, at a Los Feliz Trader Joe’s, where bodycam video shows an officer using his sidearm in a manner Mr. Silverman refers to as “spray and pray”, at one point aiming his weapon directly into the TJ’s open front doors. That’s trigger-happy.

  33. 33.

    JWR

    December 28, 2021 at 4:43 am

    @NotMax: Sorry, but here’s another story that’s getting better all the time:

    Capitol panel to investigate Trump call to Willard hotel in hours before attack

    Congressman Bennie Thompson, the chairman of the House select committee investigating the Capitol attack, has said the panel will open an inquiry into Donald Trump’s phone call seeking to stop Joe Biden’s certification from taking place on 6 January hours before the insurrection.

  34. 34.

    Elizabelle

    December 28, 2021 at 4:48 am

    @JWR:  I hope that we will get some serious work done on carving back police shootings, during Biden’s term. It’s a public health and safety issue, not to mention protecting muncipalities’ finances.

    The police need serious retraining, and need to lose the trigger-happy among them.  It would be great if the police at large had to pay out for the murders of passerby and other victims.  Enough.

    WaPost story from December 12, 2021, on using video and virtual reality to train police to de-escalate.

    How role-playing helps police do their job without firing their guns

    If confronted by the man a few months earlier, the four police
    officers from Inglewood, Calif., might have killed him.

    But the officers had practiced situations like this in simulation training, learning to slow their responses and look for other options. As the man walked toward them, insisting he was armed with a knife and a gun, they used their cars as barricades and fired foam projectiles that are far less lethal than bullets. Eventually, they handcuffed the man and took him for a psychiatric evaluation.

    “The officers did feel the training prevented them from using deadly force,” Sgt. Joseph Cupo, who oversees training for the Inglewood Police Department, said of the June 2020 incident, weeks after the police killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis launched a national conversation on public safety. “It gave them the knowledge to recognize the event for what it potentially could be, and to go through some alternative methods to bring it to resolution.”

    At a time when police use of force is increasingly under scrutiny, experts say training simulations are a key way to reduce the number of times police fire their weapons. There are a variety of role-playing options and a growing body of evidence that they work. Some use live actors, others project videotaped scenarios on screens that wrap around the room. A few places, including a laboratory at the University of Maryland, helped design virtual reality headsets that surround officers with videos or computer-generated images, like in a video game.

    Experts say each approach can be valuable so long as it feels realistic. The key is that the officer isn’t just learning de-escalation skills in a classroom but is acting them out, over and over, until they become second nature.

    “Giving police officers the ability to practice these scenarios, particularly when they’re very young in their careers, is really important,” said Rashawn Ray, a sociology professor who heads up the Lab for Applied Social Science Research at the University of Maryland at College Park.

    Both he and Robin Engel, a criminal justice professor at the University of Cincinnati, noted that police officers generally spend far less time on de-escalation training than on firearms practice, even though the vast majority of police interactions involve unarmed civilians.

  35. 35.

    Elizabelle

    December 28, 2021 at 4:52 am

    Gotta get some work done.  Catch you guys later.

  36. 36.

    M. Bouffant

    December 28, 2021 at 5:27 am

    @JWR: How can someone who is sighted & literate need “help” to find her seat on an airplane???

     

    I haven’t flown (on a plane) since 1995, but I am assuming that it’s still a number for the row & a letter for the seat.

  37. 37.

    OzarkHillbilly

    December 28, 2021 at 5:42 am

    It’s not impossible that things could fall into place and he could be the nominee.

    Gawd does not love me that much.

  38. 38.

    JWR

    December 28, 2021 at 5:47 am

    @Elizabelle:

    Experts say each approach can be valuable so long as it feels realistic. The key is that the officer isn’t just learning de-escalation skills in a classroom but is acting them out, over and over, until they become second nature.

    “Giving police officers the ability to practice these scenarios, particularly when they’re very young in their careers, is really important,”

    Amen to that, too! I can easily envision a rookie cop going through a de-escalation lecture, only to be told by his veteran partner, “all that stuff they told you in there? It’s BS, but now that we’re on the beat, I’ll show you how it’s really done.”

    Shorter: The better the training the better the cop.

  39. 39.

    A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)

    December 28, 2021 at 5:48 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: I thought you had to be native born (and at least 35 yo) to be eligible for President. Or be born to American citizen parents. Is Ted Cruz either of those things?

  40. 40.

    ThresherK

    December 28, 2021 at 6:23 am

    Of course I remember Carly Fiorina. Along with Meg Whitman and Linda McMahon they are the Bizarro Charlie’s Angels, mediocre bidnesswomen recruited by mysterious strangers to become even more mediocre GOP candidates.

     

    I steal lots of things but the above is original. It’d make a good Lukovich cartoon tho.

  41. 41.

    Mousebumples

    December 28, 2021 at 6:30 am

    @M. Bouffant: yup. I expect it was more a matter of “these beverage carts are in my way to my first class seat” sort of “move them so I can get back to my seat” type of request.

  42. 42.

    Betty

    December 28, 2021 at 6:57 am

    @Steeplejack: The “deserts” question has been discussed here before.  I recall that both spellings are considered acceptable.

  43. 43.

    Betty

    December 28, 2021 at 7:04 am

    @M. Bouffant: There may have been someone in her assigned seat. When that happened to me, they told me to just sit in any open seat. One possibility.

  44. 44.

    lowtechcyclist

    December 28, 2021 at 7:18 am

    @Betty:

    @Steeplejack: The “deserts” question has been discussed here before.  I recall that both spellings are considered acceptable.

    That may be so; it’s just the incongruity of a dessert, in the normal meaning of the word, in that context.  Does Cruz just get the fruit cup instead of the apple pie?

    But since I’m generally in the ‘language evolves, deal with it’ camp, I guess I’m getting my just des(s)ert here. ;^)

  45. 45.

    debbie

    December 28, 2021 at 7:18 am

    I have fond memories of the whining at the placement of podiums for one of the debates. The GQP in a nutshell.

  46. 46.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    December 28, 2021 at 7:18 am

    “I ran in 2016. It was the most fun I’ve ever had in my life,” Ted Cruize

    Oh, so forgot about your’ shooting spree already Teddy?

    That quote also explains why he lost too. He wasn’t taking it seriously.

  47. 47.

    M. Bouffant

    December 28, 2021 at 7:22 am

    @A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan): Several lawsuits and ballot challenges asserting that Cruz is ineligible to become U.S. president have been filed. No lawsuit or challenge has been successful, and in February 2016, the Illinois Board of Elections ruled in Cruz’s favor, stating, “The candidate is a natural born citizen by virtue of being born in Canada to his mother who was a U.S. citizen at the time of his birth.”

  48. 48.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 28, 2021 at 8:28 am

    The more normal humans are exposed to Ted Cruz, the less they like him — this seems to be true even for his own kids.

    How unexpected about Shithead Ted!

  49. 49.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 28, 2021 at 8:30 am

    @M. Bouffant: Shithead Ted will also be a Should-be-deported-back-to-Canada to me.

  50. 50.

    JoyceCB

    December 28, 2021 at 9:00 am

    We don’t want him!

  51. 51.

    Gin & Tonic

    December 28, 2021 at 9:08 am

    @Steeplejack: Thank you.

  52. 52.

    Just One More Canuck

    December 28, 2021 at 9:32 am

    @mrmoshpotato: you broke him, you bought him

  53. 53.

    RaflW

    December 28, 2021 at 10:01 am

    @JWR: I don’t know if they worked it out, but there were plans for the big three (DL-AA-UA) to share their internal no-fly lists. I hope she enjoys her Spirit Airlines flight. Don’t forget to pre-pay your carry on fee & your seat assignment, they gouge more at the terminal! Maybe pick an aisle seat right by the lavs?

    @Mousebumples: I’m gonna guess she paid the sixty or so bucks to sit in “Comfort+”. Free booze and a little leg room, but all the sense of entitlement. It sounds like she used the rear lav so I doubt she’d have gone there from First.

  54. 54.

    VOR

    December 28, 2021 at 10:18 am

    @JWR: Remember, Derek Chauvin and Kim Potter were both trainers. Potter had a trainee with her when she killed Daunte Wright.  Chauvin was a trainer for the Minneapolis Police and had trained one of the other officers.

  55. 55.

    kindness

    December 28, 2021 at 11:20 am

    Somehow or other I missed the part about Ted doing his song and dance to a 15 year old ‘journalist’ when I read Ted’s comments the first time the other day.  Man, with all due respect, isn’t hanging around with young teens Matt Gaetz schtick?

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