Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Chutkan laughs. Lauro sits back down.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Bark louder, little dog.

So many bastards, so little time.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

We’ll be taking my thoughts and prayers to the ballot box.

He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

The revolution will be supervised.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

You are here: Home / Politics / GOP Death Cult / Late Night Open Thread: A ‘National Divorce’, the Latest Right-Wing Phantasy

Late Night Open Thread: A ‘National Divorce’, the Latest Right-Wing Phantasy

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Even apart from the whole ‘tried that back in 1859, didn’t work then, hasn’t gotten any less complicated to implement since’ reality. But the dream of walking away from one’s tedious grown-up responsibilities (and maybe buying a Porsche, or at least a really tricked-out SUV) is such fun!

Because I generally take my right-wing social media second-hand, I don’t know how much traction the Claremont Institute thinks it’s getting here. But I have seen multiple sane-person comments pointing out that the Boer War, marvelous as it might be for table-top miniaturists, was not exactly a walkaway triumph for the Boers…


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81Comments

  4. 4.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Sen. Ted Cruz’s teenage daughter admits there’s some good things about having a famous dad, but she doesn’t always like living in his shadow. …

    “Also, a lot of people judge me based upon him at first glance,” she added, “but I really disagree with most of his views.”

    I don’t know why I was thinking of how Ron Reagan Jr used to troll his father today, but I was

    (when did the raw story become cluttered with ads like a British tabloid?)

  6. 6.

    Chetan Murthy

    @Jerzy Russian: here’s his screed for why he’s leaving CA

    https://hariraghavan.com/0090c2645d2f4cbda95cc6cdbeec46e3

    I got to point #7 before I gave up.  Like every temporarily-embarrassed gazillionaire, he laments all the poor people around him, and wants to kick them hard, *hard* itellsya, *hard*.  He’s a GrOPer.  I went to Linkedin and looked at his picture.  Boy I hope he knows what he’s doing, moving his family to Florida.  He’s pretty damn brown — almost as brown as me.

  7. 7.

    Chetan Murthy

    @Chetan Murthy: Maybe he’s not a GrOPer.  But he’s certainly an “economic conservative”, and that’s the same thing: he may lament the results (poor people, etc) but he loves the causes (low taxes for him).

  9. 9.

    Chetan Murthy

    @Jerzy Russian: In FL, one presumes he will live in a gated community, drive everywhere, and hence never mix with the homeless.  His taxes will be low, and really, isn’t that the point?

  10. 10.

    Ken

    My understanding is that the Treasury isn’t set up to control what checks are issued. Pity, since it would be educational to demonstrate the effects of a “national divorce” by not sending any federal payments to anyone in Rep. Greene’s district for a couple of months.

  11. 11.

    mrmoshpotato

    So this dumbass wants the United States to bomb the shit out of New CSA GA-14?

    Fucking imbecile.

  12. 12.

    Kent

    @Ken: They honestly would not give a fuck.  Witness red state GOPers turning down the ACA Medicaid expansion and turning down Covid unemployment reimbursments.

    When we lived in Texas I remember explaining to a bunch of my wife’s Physician colleagues (white GOP doctors) why their profit sharing retirement contributions were so much crappier that year.  It was because they worked for a public clinic and the state GOP had turned down Medicaid expansion which meant they were doing a shitload of indigent care for free rather than getting reimbursed for it by Medicaid.  Hence all their profits (and profit sharing) went up in smoke thanks to the GOP state legislature they all voted for.  Dipshits.  The still didn’t quite get it even when I explained it.

    In red states you have rich white Republicans who pay taxes and lots of poor white and people of color who get benefits.  They honestly don’t give a shit if those people in their communities suffer.

  16. 16.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    “Pay a tax for their sins”.

    Yes, this sounds completely sane and reasonable /

    Do they even hear themselves?

  22. 22.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @HumboldtBlue:

    LOL!

    “When this thing gets up to 88 mph, you’re gonna see some serious shit”

    Probably should’ve saved that for April Fool’s Day imo

  27. 27.

    The Dangerman

    Works for me. Fuck, we already give them alimony in the form of disproportionate return on their taxes. When they actually have to pay their way on their own, I give them 2 years before they are tapped out.

    Also, since they are the ones walking, we get the kids, er, nukes.

  28. 28.

    Soprano2

    @mrmoshpotato: That’s been around for awhile. Too bad they aren’t available! Their headquarters is a few miles from my house. We went to a Drury alum Christmas party at an O’Reilly’s house a couple of weeks ago.  ?? They live in the old money part of town.

  30. 30.

    toine

    It would actually be pretty funny when they realize they aren’t getting the house, car, 401K, child support or alimony…

  31. 31.

    VeniceRiley

    @Kent: So very bingo. Doctors are only good at doctoring. Getting them in groups to create what is much like a law firm …. Outcomes predictable!

  38. 38.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @Jerzy Russian:  And he thinks things are better in Florida? Like I said, there is one less of him in California, and so it is better for the rest of us here.

    No, he doesn’t, in the tweet quoted above he’s already bad mouthing the locals for how much worse they are than California, that’s why the Conservative are all screaming but we need to stop the Libs from moving to their precious Red States. ROLF

  39. 39.

    MisterForkbeard

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques: I don’t want to go read his screed of “California sucks waaah” so I don’t know his reasons. But the problem with moving out of California is that your other options are generally just much worse and/or inhumane.

    Don’t like the homeless problem? I hope you like arresting them and shipping them to liberal states. Like having low covid numbers? Whoops. Want some kind of responsible public management of resources? Whoops. What about managing climate change? Whoops.

    Etc.

  40. 40.

    Mai Naem mobile

    @The Dangerman: forget the nukes. We get to hang onto all the STEM educated folks who graduated from the elite colleges in blue states. They won’t even know to handle nukes.

    Hope Hari Raghavan gets to discover some inconvenient truths at the front row seats that he’s purchased for the screening of the upcoming blockbuster movie ‘Apocalypse Miami Under Ocean’

  43. 43.

    lurker

    Am ignoring MTG and thus will not be much help on the topic of this post…

     

    Glad to hear people seem to be safe in CO – as much as can be hoped for – and sorry to hear about AngryBlackLady’s potential loss of stuff (that always sucks, even if it is better than losing a life)…

     

    Slightly off topic even for this thread, but regarding this post and this tweet:
    How to fix the politics problem
    puppies drunk wombats tweet

    Inquiring minds want to know: How does Betty Cracker know what drunk wombats sound like? … The mind boggles…

  52. 52.

    cain

    @Kent: They are being obtuse because it would mean that they would have to speak against their party. That’s a hard thing to do because if you admit they suck there, what else would suck?

  56. 56.

    jnfr

    I would go for a national divorce in a heartbeat if I could figure out a way to do it. But I can’t. We just aren’t split along clean geographical lines.

    As much as I wish we were.

  57. 57.

    patrick II

    I read today that the justice department has not yet re-opened the presidential inauguration committee investigation that Bill Barr shut down during his tenure.  They have only until sometime in January to press charges (it has been five years) before the clock runs out.  I am not a lawyer, so I try not to say too much about legal issues, however, it seems that based on this and other decisions Garland has made regarding Barr, Garland cannot defer to Barr enough.  From my point of view, Garland the institutionalist is an absolute disaster with any decision that might be in conflict with his predecessor, Bill Barr.

  60. 60.

    patrick II

    @sab:
    Yes, Alaska, Canada, and Russia northern territories are made up of permafrost swamp. The Arctic itself is just floating ice — a giant iceberg essentially.

  61. 61.

    sab

    @patrick II: So not so much huge development opportunities here. Just ships sailing through to elsewhere while the local communities sink.

    I finally cut off all communication with my RWNJ brother when he started singing Pompeo praises. Sort of a last straw.

  62. 62.

    sab

    @patrick II: Putin has the same thought process. Northwest passage finally (!) while Siberia sinks. Gobsmacking idiocy combined with gobsmacking self-interestness is a scary combination in a high level government official.

  63. 63.

    sab

    Ponyo my new-to-me pitbull is stressed ( possibly my fault, since I am on the internet in the middle of the night, instead of asleep.) So she is frantically sucking on a quilt, because she is so stressed. Not because of anything specific. Just because her life has been hard and everything slightly bad or even unusual triggers her. We all did not have idealic childhoods.

  64. 64.

    columbusqueen

    I’m so tempted to get a huge truck, festoon it with Union battle flags & Sherman’s portraits, then barrel around MTG’s district while blasting “Marching Through Georgia.”

  67. 67.

    eclare

    @columbusqueen:   I would not recommend that.  When I lived in ATL I would drive a couple hours to get to mountains to go hiking.  It is a different world.  I left ATL in 2004, and I imagine it has only gotten worse since then.

  69. 69.

    evodevo

    @sab: ​
     Yep…with the extra added attraction that as it melts, it releases huge volumes of methane into the atmosphere, exponentially increasing global warming…

  73. 73.

    matt the somewhat reasonable

    New I guess in the sense that they’re shorter routes to the same trade partners. It’s not like we suddenly discovered 19th century China hiding in the Arctic.

  74. 74.

    lowtechcyclist

    A national divorce? Sure.

    Since they’re so big on the 1950s as having been America’s perfect era, we do a 1950s-style divorce.

    Since they’re the ones who want the divorce, they’re the ones who have to move out. We keep the property (the USA and possessions), they move off the premises (same), and we won’t even ask for alimony. They can keep all their income, and can go wherever they want in the rest of the world, but they can’t come back. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

  76. 76.

    lowtechcyclist

    @jnfr: ​
     

    I would go for a national divorce in a heartbeat if I could figure out a way to do it. But I can’t. We just aren’t split along clean geographical lines.

    As much as I wish we were

    I’d be happy to carve out a territory for them composed of, say, the western 3/5 of the Dakotas and Nebraska, the eastern half of Wyoming (only the Eastern half because the hell if they’re getting Yellowstone) and the part of Montana directly north of the eastern half of Wyoming.

    It’s a pretty sizable chunk of territory, more than enough to set up a new nation in. But it’s also sparsely populated, so we could easily pay the relocation expenses of the current residents who didn’t want to be part of this grand experiment.

    And anyone in the rest of the country who was willing to renounce their U.S. citizenship would be free to move there and be part of the founding of this new nation.

  78. 78.

    kindness

    The Crazy Right Wing is simply throwing down it’s grievances so as to be able to point to them later defending themselves when they try to overturn the next election.  ‘See,  it’s out there!’ they think will cover their ass for treason.  Since the right specializes in projection, and the righties all know this, Marge is calling for some future civil war.  They think they’ll win it.  Cause they have the guns.

  80. 80.

    Ramalama

    Tell the Supreme Court justices who are Catholic and of the more traditional ( no cafeteria for them, right? ) that the country’s getting a divorce.

    Oops. Mel Gibson – a Latin Mass advocate – a Latvocate – divorced his long suffering wife of like 97 children to bed a young hottie.

  81. 81.

    Jess

    @lowtechcyclist:  I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    I’m starting to think the Great Divorce is going to be the best or only option at some point soon. There’s just too much of an entrenched gap between red and blue (can a gap/trench be entrenched?). At the very least, I hope New England splits off and joins Canada.

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