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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Open Thread: Who Is Your Anger Translator?

Open Thread: Who Is Your Anger Translator?

by WaterGirl|  January 13, 202210:06 pm| 95 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Talk About Whatever You Want

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My anger translator has to be the Liberal Redneck.  I almost always feel better after I listen to him.

Of course, no one is as good as Luther.

HBO actually made a compilation episode of Key & Peele as Obama’s anger translator. Who knew?

I’ll be back in about 20 minutes after I watch these videos.

Who is your anger translator?

Totally open thread.

Updated to add.  Excellent link from Jim, Foolish Literalist.

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Previous Post: « Thursday Evening Open Thread: Seditious Conspiracy
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Reader Interactions

95Comments

  1. 1.

    WaterGirl

    January 13, 2022 at 10:10 pm

    I miss Christmas cookies, ice cream and all the chocolates I got for Christmas.  I am still mostly eating out of my freezer because I am trying not to go to the grocery store, but I am going to have to go to the store soon.

  2. 2.

    sab

    January 13, 2022 at 10:12 pm

    My husband is my anger translator. Twenty years of marriage and I have talked him off a bunch of ledges, and he has talked me off about two.

  3. 3.

    Old School

    January 13, 2022 at 10:12 pm

    John Cole.

  4. 4.

    frosty

    January 13, 2022 at 10:13 pm

    It’s either Cole or Tony Jay, depending on how much time I have on my hands.

  5. 5.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    January 13, 2022 at 10:16 pm

    Ragnarok Lobster and A Gray Bee .

  6. 6.

    HumboldtBlue

    January 13, 2022 at 10:17 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    I forgot my frozen vegetables yesterday in my first trip to the market since before Xmas. Had to walk to corner store and get a can of peas and carrots for shepherd’s pie.

    My anger translator better have a master’s degree in cursing because I am good and varied.

  7. 7.

    WaterGirl

    January 13, 2022 at 10:19 pm

    Here on Balloon Juice, for me it’s Betty Cracker.  Though I do love a good Cole rant.

  8. 8.

    Gin & Tonic

    January 13, 2022 at 10:19 pm

    @frosty: By the time you finish reading a Tony Jay post, an hour has passed and you’ve forgotten what you were supposed to be angry about.

  9. 9.

    WaterGirl

    January 13, 2022 at 10:20 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: Good one!

  10. 10.

    Chetan Murthy

    January 13, 2022 at 10:22 pm

    Lotta anger today.  Sinema tagging-in on the voting rights beatdown, the Illegitimate Six deciding to murder Americans b/c reasons.  Sigh.

  11. 11.

    Yarrow

    January 13, 2022 at 10:23 pm

    I can get plenty good and angry and no one needs a translator. Comes through loud and clear.

    In fact I’m pretty sure the middle school kid who hit me in the head with his frisbee today knew exactly how I felt about it.

  12. 12.

    Jay

    January 13, 2022 at 10:25 pm

    I don’t have an anger translator, I just have anger when I need it.

  13. 13.

    schrodingers_cat

    January 13, 2022 at 10:26 pm

    Don’t need one.

  14. 14.

    Alison Rose

    January 13, 2022 at 10:27 pm

    Honestly, the way Luther says “hello” is what cracks me up the most.

  15. 15.

    Chetan Murthy

    January 13, 2022 at 10:30 pm

    @Jay: It would be nice to have someone who was verbally saltier than I feel inside, so that I could feel like they were my anger translator.  But the anger and frustration is so unbounded these days.

  16. 16.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    January 13, 2022 at 10:30 pm

    Did Obama (the real one) make that HBO clip?

  17. 17.

    Benw

    January 13, 2022 at 10:33 pm

    @WaterGirl: mask up and go silent and fast, ninja style.

    rikyrah is mine, since we don’t have ABL

  18. 18.

    Jay

    January 13, 2022 at 10:36 pm

    @Chetan Murthy:

    being able to use curse words as punctuation, pronouns and verbs in a solid string along with assumptions about genealogy  helps.

    It’s a practiced skill.

    I am nice up to a line, make it clear where the line is,…..

    cross it at your own peril,

    More and more these days it’s Covidiots and grifters.

  19. 19.

    debbie

    January 13, 2022 at 10:36 pm

    I’m my own anger translator.

  20. 20.

    debbie

    January 13, 2022 at 10:38 pm

    @Benw:

    That’s my shopping style too. Also, always on early Saturday morning when the populace is sleeping off their Friday night

  21. 21.

    Poe Larity

    January 13, 2022 at 10:40 pm

    It used to be dengre, but he only retweets now.

  22. 22.

    Suzanne

    January 13, 2022 at 10:43 pm

    The NYT Pitchbot.

  23. 23.

    Gin & Tonic

    January 13, 2022 at 10:43 pm

    @Poe Larity: Shame he didn’t show up for any of the 20th anniversary threads.

  24. 24.

    Ruckus

    January 13, 2022 at 10:44 pm

    @HumboldtBlue: 
    My anger translator is my ability to swear. First job other than delivering newspapers was working in a machine shop. In a machine shop you have to be able to swear over the noise to make yourself heard and understood. Fortunately you have others around to teach you the words and how to deliver them. By the time I enlisted in the navy I could be any 4 people’s anger translator at the same time. Always take pride in a fucking job fucking done well. That’s a tiny freebee.

  25. 25.

    Suzanne

    January 13, 2022 at 10:44 pm

    I want there to be a specific term for the meth-and-PBR-burly-white-man set. I need my anger translator to make a term.

  26. 26.

    Argiope

    January 13, 2022 at 10:44 pm

    My anger translator has got to be my sister.  I’m the older one who grew up more concerned about what other people think.  She is the younger one who DNGAF. The other day some older dude in a store asked her why she was wearing a mask.  She said under her breath, but loud enough so he could hear her, “because if I want to kill an old man I want the satisfaction of doing it with my bare hands.”  He said “OK” and left the scene. I’m still chuckling about that one.

  27. 27.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    January 13, 2022 at 10:44 pm

    @Suzanne: shame DougJ wasn’t able to patent that schtick, cause he’s getting ripped off fifty times a day. And probably a helluva lot more

  28. 28.

    Ruckus

    January 13, 2022 at 10:46 pm

    @schrodingers_cat:

    Best 3 words.

    Although I’m assuming that you mean this in a positive way, that you suffice on your own merits.

  29. 29.

    HumboldtBlue

    January 13, 2022 at 10:46 pm

    @Ruckus:

    I feel ya.

  30. 30.

    Ruckus

    January 13, 2022 at 10:48 pm

    @Argiope:

    I like your sister!

  31. 31.

    SectionH

    January 13, 2022 at 10:49 pm

    Tony Jay of course! Did love P&K. Or K&P. Of course.
    Otherwise, my face doesn’t need translation.

  32. 32.

    prostratedragon

    January 13, 2022 at 10:51 pm

    Don’t interlace your fingers,
    Don’t interlace your fingers!! //shriek

  33. 33.

    gwangung

    January 13, 2022 at 10:53 pm

    My anger translator is Bruce Lee. Words are often not adequate.

  34. 34.

    frosty

    January 13, 2022 at 10:53 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: That’s the truth. I just substitute Tony Jay’s anger (or despair?) for mine and it’s all good.

  35. 35.

    mrmoshpotato

    January 13, 2022 at 10:54 pm

    @WaterGirl: What was for dinner tonight?  Just took some Taco Puffs out of the oven.

  36. 36.

    Ohio Mom

    January 13, 2022 at 10:55 pm

    @Argiope: I would steal your sister’s brilliant line but folks around here are generally too polite to ask why someone is wearing a mask. They just passive-aggressively go bare-faced.

  37. 37.

    mrmoshpotato

    January 13, 2022 at 10:57 pm

    @Argiope: That’s good!

  38. 38.

    Felanius Kootea

    January 13, 2022 at 10:57 pm

    I have been told to calm down when upset before I even open my mouth. I am in awe of poker-faced people. No anger translator needed.

  39. 39.

    Hildebrand

    January 13, 2022 at 11:00 pm

    My daughter.  Her profanity laced righteous rants have been a balm these past years – especially when she launches about some nitwit, Trump-addicted classmate saying foolish things in class (she is 19).   The rant usually erupts as she describes how she verbally shivved said student in class –  and now ‘gets to say what I really wanted to say in class.’

    And yep, she’s a pastor’s kid, twice over (both my wife and I are Lutheran clergy)

    She is amazing.

  40. 40.

    prostratedragon

    January 13, 2022 at 11:04 pm

    Luther actually could work for me. Or Ving Rhames. Or one of the samurai characters like in HaraKiri or the general who loses it at the end of Ran,  or maybe the Lone Wolf.

  41. 41.

    Kalakal

    January 13, 2022 at 11:04 pm

    At work I do the not reacting thing, I get satisfaction out of not giving jerks satisfaction.

    At home I’m going through a lot of guitar strings.

    I used to think I hated Reagan and Thatcher, I now realise that was merely strong dislike

  42. 42.

    TheTruffle

    January 13, 2022 at 11:07 pm

    I was hate-reading a USA Today article that reads like the author is raring for Biden to lose.

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2022/01/13/supreme-court-mandates-and-voter-rights-biden-takes-more-losses/6516516001/

  43. 43.

    Poe Larity

    January 13, 2022 at 11:09 pm

    @Argiope: She married? Asking for a friend.

  44. 44.

    NotMax

    January 13, 2022 at 11:10 pm

    Anger is corrosive and should be brought to the buffet of life sparingly.

  45. 45.

    danielx

    January 13, 2022 at 11:11 pm

    Used to be Samuel L. Jackson, but I have grown past the need for a translator. I just start riffing off the expression “pigfucker” and it goes on from there.

  46. 46.

    Suzanne

    January 13, 2022 at 11:11 pm

    Sooooo, update on crazy dude. Apparently the DA’s office approved the warrant but he hasn’t been picked up yet. The officer said that it is his understanding that the dude is still hospitalized with “some psychiatric issues”, you don’t say. Insurance adjuster and door installer come tomorrow. We are supposed to get a big snowstorm on Sunday, so I don’t know if we’ll really be able to clean up the front porch.

  47. 47.

    patrick II

    January 13, 2022 at 11:12 pm

    Are secret service members out of bounds for questions about what they may have heard Trump say?  Or are they always ushered out of the room during criminal conspiracies?

  48. 48.

    danielx

    January 13, 2022 at 11:12 pm

    @Suzanne:

    Wtf? Fill us in!

  49. 49.

    zhena gogolia

    January 13, 2022 at 11:12 pm

    @Argiope: I don’t need an anger translator, but even I don’t have as much moxie as your sister! lol

  50. 50.

    danielx

    January 13, 2022 at 11:14 pm

    @patrick II:

    “… is you taking notes on a criminal fucking conspiracy? What the fuck you thinking man!”

  51. 51.

    patrick II

    January 13, 2022 at 11:18 pm

    @danielx:

    I am particularly thinking about people who were with Trump when McCarthy called and might have heard the other side of that conversation.  In ad-hoc moments you can’t always clear the room of witnesses ahead of time.

  52. 52.

    Suzanne

    January 13, 2022 at 11:19 pm

    @danielx: On Saturday night, a dude (whose name I now know but I do not want to spread across the internet) was high as a goddamn kite and he ran into my backyard, naked, in the snow, screaming for help. He punched out my window and climbed into my house, cutting himself up on the window. Then he ran around in my house screaming that he was being chased. My husband got him outside on our front porch, where he was arrested and then taken by EMS to a hospital, but not before damaging a bunch of my stuff and leaving kind of a lot of blood.

  53. 53.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    January 13, 2022 at 11:20 pm

    @Suzanne: Jesus, that’s awful

  54. 54.

    Suzanne

    January 13, 2022 at 11:21 pm

    I should be more precise and note that he was handcuffed and subdued by the police, but he was not actually arrested on Saturday night.

  55. 55.

    Jay

    January 13, 2022 at 11:22 pm

    @Suzanne:

    don’t worry too much about cleaning up the porch.

    fresh blood is generally the worry, ( transmission), not dried/weathered/dead blood.

    30 Seconds Clear will clean that right up, later.

    Just the door, or was the door frame damaged as well?

  56. 56.

    Suzanne

    January 13, 2022 at 11:25 pm

    One of the many shitty elements of the entire incident was the fact that I had this dude and then five police officers in my house, when we have been trying so hard to keep Spawn the Youngest away from people, since she isn’t vaccinated.

  57. 57.

    Another Scott

    January 13, 2022 at 11:25 pm

    Lots of good choices above.

    https://twitter.com/Coldwar_Steve is excellent in presenting visual counterpoints that are kinda like anger translation.

    https://twitter.com/IamHappyToast occasionally animates Coldwar Steve’s stuff, and does some excellent original stuff as well.

    Both have a strong UK perspective.

    In other news, RollCall tells us that Cancun Ted’s Nord Stream 2 sanctions bill failed. It also says:

    The new German coalition government, which is generally less supportive of the Nord Stream 2 pipeline than its predecessor government, led by former Chancellor Angela Merkel, has suspended regulatory approval of the pipeline, which could drag on well into 2022.

    Interesting…

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  58. 58.

    Suzanne

    January 13, 2022 at 11:28 pm

    @Jay: The door leaf is split, and I can’t tell if the frame is still in alignment. He crashed around in our kitchen and there is broken floor tile, my Instapot is broken, the coffeemaker is broken, and a few other things in the interior. However, most of the damaged property is outside, because he was held on our front porch for about twenty minutes until the ambulance arrived, and there is a lot of blood on the outdoor furniture, rug, Spawn’s stroller, etc.

  59. 59.

    Yarrow

    January 13, 2022 at 11:36 pm

    @Suzanne:  Omicron seems to show up pretty quickly after exposure so another day or so and hopefully everyone is in the clear.

    Glad things are moving along for you guys. What a terrible ordeal.

  60. 60.

    Suzanne

    January 13, 2022 at 11:41 pm

    @Yarrow: Well, I started having a sore throat in the last couple of days. I get sore throats a lot, but I am more paranoid now.

  61. 61.

    Subsole

    January 13, 2022 at 11:45 pm

    Marlo Stanfield

  62. 62.

    Yarrow

    January 13, 2022 at 11:50 pm

    @Suzanne:  That sucks. Can you do a rapid test?

  63. 63.

    Another Scott

    January 13, 2022 at 11:58 pm

    Good luck, Suzanne and family. You’ve been through a lot. :-(

    In other anger translation news, BallsandStrikes.org:

    In a concurring opinion, Justices Neil Gorsuch, Clarence Thomas, and Samuel Alito made clear that they would go even further to ensure that workplaces remain hotbeds of disease transmission. All three justices are superfans of the “major questions doctrine,” which holds that Congress has to be especially, super-duper clear about an agency’s authority to do anything the Court deems “major,” and the “nondelegation doctrine,” which is the idea that Congress can’t transfer its lawmaking power to other branches of government. Conservatives have been diligently pushing these theories in an effort to bring the basic tasks of modern government to a grinding halt. Neither appears anywhere in the sacred text of the Constitution, but that pesky detail has never stopped self-described originalists from solemnly invoking them whenever they find it convenient.

    The vaccine-or-test standard, Gorsuch and company argue, actually fails both tests. In other words, even if existing federal law did allow OSHA to write this rule, that law would be an unconstitutional delegation of legislative authority to the executive branch. Left unstated is the real reason for their enthusiasm: By creating a veto power over any agency rules the Court disagrees with, a robust “nondelegation doctrine” would allow this six-justice conservative supermajority to grab as much power as it wants, from whoever it likes, in perpetuity.

    Fight for 15!

    It won’t happen quickly, but we need to do it.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  64. 64.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    January 14, 2022 at 12:03 am

    Somewhat old news, but what did you all think of Antonio Brown’s hissyfit

  65. 65.

    danielx

    January 14, 2022 at 12:05 am

    @Suzanne:

    Meth monster at a guess, but with the unknown crap people ingest these days, who the hell knows? I am sorry for the trauma undergone by you and your family.

  66. 66.

    Leslie

    January 14, 2022 at 12:08 am

    Oh, I had forgotten the anger translator. Damn. I know the man had his flaws, but stuff like that sure makes me miss him.

  67. 67.

    Leslie

    January 14, 2022 at 12:11 am

    Oh, geez, Suzanne. I left my comment without even scrolling through the thread. How awful for all of you.

  68. 68.

    Ksmiami

    January 14, 2022 at 12:19 am

    Eh. We have to come out swinging again Sinemanchin

  69. 69.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    January 14, 2022 at 12:28 am

    @Another Scott:

    Hmm, why would Ted Cruz want to support sanctions against Putin?

    I thought Russia was supposed to be our friend? /s

    Oh, and they’d rather be Russians than Democrats

  70. 70.

    Eric S.

    January 14, 2022 at 12:29 am

    @Argiope: This is a great story and I’m putting your sister’s response in my repertoire.

  71. 71.

    Ms. Deranged in AZ

    January 14, 2022 at 12:30 am

    Liberal Redneck is my anger translator too!!! We both grew up in Tennessee and his accent sounds like home. We both grew up poor. Our moms played really important roles in our childhoods, more so than our dad’s. And he expresses all of my thoughts so colorfully.  Almost makes me miss Memphis…almost.

  72. 72.

    Ascap_scab

    January 14, 2022 at 12:36 am

    It could only be Macho Man Randy Savage. RIP Mr. Poffo.

     Macho Man Randy Savage

  73. 73.

    Ohio Mom

    January 14, 2022 at 12:39 am

    @Suzanne: My god, it’s taken forever for the insurance adjuster to show up. Living with all the reminders of that horrid night, all the broken things and the trail of blood — can’t be good for everyone’s mental health.

    Connecting to the theme of the post, I’d be tempted, once the insurance company’s check has cleared, to find a new agent and carrier and scream at the now dropped ones for being so unresponsive and irresponsible. And leave nasty reviews all over the internet for good measure.

  74. 74.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    January 14, 2022 at 12:47 am

    @Suzanne:

    So sorry you and your family had to go through that

  75. 75.

    Mai Naem mobile

    January 14, 2022 at 1:07 am

    @patrick II: IIRC secret service were deposed and/or gave testimony in front of congress during the Lewinsky affair so I don’t see what’s different here.

  76. 76.

    Chetan Murthy

    January 14, 2022 at 1:11 am

    @Mai Naem mobile: Surely you can’t expect the kind of SS agents who left an upper-decker at President Obama’s house (where they were graciously allowed to use the facilities) to rat out their Maximum Hair Furore ?

  77. 77.

    Mai Naem mobile

    January 14, 2022 at 1:12 am

     

    1. @Suzanne: unless its a scheduling issue on your end, Friday for the adjuster to come is a long time.
  78. 78.

    joel hanes

    January 14, 2022 at 1:17 am

    Nothing seems to be helping with anger/despair today.

    I feel like Denethor looking into the Palantir

  79. 79.

    Mai Naem mobile

    January 14, 2022 at 1:20 am

    @Chetan Murthy: i doubt the SS has any loyalty towards TFG after spreading COVID to them and making them overwork, stretching them thin, making them protect his worthless children post 2020 etc etc

  80. 80.

    Chetan Murthy

    January 14, 2022 at 1:21 am

    @joel hanes: Amen, pass the bottle, bruv.

  81. 81.

    Chetan Murthy

    January 14, 2022 at 1:25 am

    @joel hanes: I remember back in 2015 and 2016, both here and at LG&M, it was regarded as pretty declasse’ to talk about the death of our political opponents.  six-or-seven years later, and we talk&fantasize about it all the time, it’s one of our major sources of tension-release.

    I do it a lot, but even I can recognize how unhealthy it is.

  82. 82.

    eclare

    January 14, 2022 at 1:33 am

    @danielx:   Mine is Samuel L Jackson circa Pulp Fiction.  “I’m trying to be the shepherd.”

  83. 83.

    joel hanes

    January 14, 2022 at 1:37 am

    You do it a lot these days, and you’re not alone.

    It worries me, and I try never to make such comments myself.

    I’m gradually deciding that if reading the internet makes me feel this way, maybe I should quit reading the internet.

  84. 84.

    Jay

    January 14, 2022 at 2:11 am

    @Chetan Murthy:

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V30tyaXv6EI

    Yes, and no. Fantasy and imagination are different from plans and plots.

    Life is not what it was.

    Those whom we innocently thought were political opponents, have revealed themselves as bitter enemies of the basic foundations  of our societies.

    8 years ago, we claimed they had “authoritarian tendencies”, now we realize they are full on genocidal Nazis.

  85. 85.

    Chetan Murthy

    January 14, 2022 at 3:04 am

    @joel hanes: I don’t think it’s got much to do with the Internet.  If I read these things in the print papers, they’d be just as awful, maybe even moreso, for being unable to find out more.

    This is The Bad Place.

  86. 86.

    Tony Jay

    January 14, 2022 at 3:05 am

    @Gin & Tonic: 

    You’re welcome.

    Seriously, though, I know there’s a valid argument that ranting about the evil that men, people, the fuckers of the Right do is a waste of energy and even counterproductive, but getting that disbelieving rage out of my gut and onto a crisp white page always makes me feel so much better.

    Car-Thar-Tick

  87. 87.

    bjacques

    January 14, 2022 at 3:40 am

    Toast Of London, lately of Tinseltown.

     

    or Ivan Dobsky (see YouTube)

  88. 88.

    Tony Jay

    January 14, 2022 at 4:20 am

    @bjacques:

    Yes! When I’m reading back a screed it’s Matt Berry’s layered baritone I hear in my head.

    But the Meatsafe Murderer? He was such a quiet and inoffensive boy until… oh, yeah.

  89. 89.

    OzarkHillbilly

    January 14, 2022 at 5:12 am

    I’m a union carpenter. I don’t need a translator.

  90. 90.

    MagdaInBlack

    January 14, 2022 at 6:02 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: That made me laugh out loud. I am quite sure you do fine all on your own ?

  91. 91.

    sab

    January 14, 2022 at 6:27 am

    6:25 am and pitbull finally went back to sleep. She was afraid that the latest cat (a sweety) was getting a march on her. Nitwit dog.

  92. 92.

    WereBear

    January 14, 2022 at 6:35 am

    @Ruckus: It’s not that tiny, though. President Truman attributed his leadership skills to this ability. “Men admire a good cusser.”

  93. 93.

    WereBear

    January 14, 2022 at 6:36 am

    @Tony Jay: And you do it with such droll turns of phrase. I always enjoy a Tony Jay (or John Cole) rant.

    Those metaphors!

  94. 94.

    Tony Jay

    January 14, 2022 at 6:57 am

    @WereBear:

    Thank you very much.

    I’m afraid there may be more to come. More revelations today about Tory partying that implicate journalists and explain why Flobalob suddenly went into isolation yesterday.

    They just won’t stop twisting my nipples. The bastards.

  95. 95.

    J R in WV

    January 14, 2022 at 9:49 am

    @Argiope: ​
     

    My anger translator has got to be my sister. … The other day some older dude in a store asked her why she was wearing a mask. She said under her breath, but loud enough so he could hear her, “because if I want to kill an old man I want the satisfaction of doing it with my bare hands.” He said “OK” and left the scene. I’m still chuckling about that one.

    OK, I love your sister like a brother, even tho I have never met her. That’s a wonderful reply to a shithead asking a really stupid and aggressive question. Thanks so much for sharing it with us, and pass my admiration on to your sister, please. You don’t have to mention that I’m a really old fart… I may have to use that if asked that question by some redneck dumb-ass.

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