Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

I’m more Christian than these people and I’m an atheist.

Republicans in disarray!

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

If you are in line to indict donald trump, stay in line.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

This fight is for everything.

Fani Willis claps back at Trump chihuahua, Jim Jordan.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Open Thread

Open Thread

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Open Thread 29

I have no idea why he is in this position.

Got my covid test today, and I will know the results in 2-5 days. I don’t think I have it, but I am just exhausted and coughing up shit and feel crappy. And if I did have it, there’s not much I would do different since my oxygen levels are at like 98% and I never go anywhere anyway.

It just sucks that I started to feel like shit on Wednesday, the DAY after I went to Kroger, so now I have to worry I caught it. Ehh, whatever.

In other news, as I was getting ready to shower, I slipped on a pee pad (Lily has been having accidents- it’s hard for her to go up and down the stairs as easily) and she uses the pee pads, so it’s not like it is an issue. Fortunately it was a clean pee pad, but in order to not fall down the stairs or fall in such a way that I would injure my shoulder, I landed SQUARE on my left knee with all my weight. I just crumpled and sat there for a couple minutes and though about life choices and evaluated whether or not I had broken anything or if moving would make it worse, decided I was ok, and got up and showered and iced it before heading out for my test.

It’s swollen a bit and tender, but I can still hobble around and nothing is broken, and honestly it’s probably safer this way because I have to pay attention to what the fuck I am doing when I walk. Thinking positively, I dodged a bullet and will not have “Slipped on a pee pad” as the cause of death in my autopsy.

So there’s that.

Reader Interactions

48Comments

  3. 3.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    Sorry you had a rough day, Cole! Hope you feel better soon and the test results come back negative!

  4. 4.

    Josie

    You are my soulmate, John Cole. I took the exact same fall last week when I got up from my chair and caught my foot in the power cord of my computer. Managed to land on my knee instead of my wrist or my face, so I counted myself lucky even though I limped for a day or so. We both need to slow down and actually pay attention to what we are doing, right? I hope your knee heals quickly.

  8. 8.

    raven

    @Josie: I went to the National Championship Celebration here last week and, instead of staying on the stairs, I tried to walk down the bleachers and busted my ass. Go Dawgs!

  19. 19.

    Miss Bianca

    Oh dear God, JC. You have me alternately laughing my ass off at your mishaps and then feeling genuine anxiety over them. Hope you’re going to be OK!

  23. 23.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Ragnarok Lobster @eclecticbrotha. 7m

    That’s what happens when you spend all season taking Ivermectin: you end up shitting the bed in the playoffs.

  29. 29.

    cmorenc

    @John Cole:

    Your epitath coulda been worse had you killed yourself slipping on a pee pad while nude mopping.

  32. 32.

    RinaX

    I did sort of try to keep my feelings about Aaron Rodgers out of this game, mainly because I didn’t think the 49’ers had a chance. But I did cackle when the 49’ers kicker made that field goal. Good riddance to his whiny ass.

  37. 37.

    David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch

    The frozen tundra of Lambeau field giveth and The frozen tundra of Lambeau taketh

    Rodgers wasn’t inoculated to Ice Bowl II

  38. 38.

    Redshift

    Hope you feel better soon. It seems like every illness now is worse than usual, and has just enough symptoms in common with covid that you can’t be sure.

  39. 39.

    Morzer

    “Thinking positively, I dodged a bullet and will not have “Slipped on a pee pad” as the cause of death in my autopsy.”

    For the night is dark and full of terriers ….

  40. 40.

    Windpond

    I thoughtfully purchased a pair of IceBugs for extra safety whilst scooping snow in Fairbanks, AK. I had a huge scoop, was walking backwards on the trail to turn around and dump it, when a titanium nail on my boot caught in the grate. I couldn’t move, went down hard with all my weight on my forearm crashing onto steps that look like they’re made out of old bear trap parts. I’m old, but can still swear (a lot), it hurt so badly, but nothing was broken. Icing saved the day for sure!

  41. 41.

    CaseyL

    Well… it would certainly make for a memorable obituary. Glad you’re able to hobble around. I know you know this, with all the mishaps you’ve had, but: be extra attentive the next couple of days, because soft tissue damage doesn’t show up right away.

    The 49ers can thank me for their win. I started to watch the game, but the first quarter looked awful for San Francisco, and I didn’t want to see Rogers doing his “I OWN YOU!” gloaty thing, so I turned it off. I’m very happy the Packers lost. Heh heh heh.

  42. 42.

    Quantumman

    John,  talk with your vet about Proin. We have had female dogs through the years with the pee problems you describe. Proin is a med that can really help.  In our cases worked great. I think Proin is the brand name.

  43. 43.

    Grumpy Old Railroader

    Yep. 73 now and I reflect on when I was young and dumb. If I fell, no matter how hurt I was, I would jump back up and furtively look around hoping nobody saw me. Now when I fall, I just lay there and check all my parts to make sure they are all working and wait for some kind soul to offer me a hand up.

  45. 45.

    debbie

    I’ve landed on the exact same spot on my right knee at least five times. Incessant icing is the only cure.

  46. 46.

    JustRuss

    Thinking positively, I dodged a bullet and will not have “Slipped on a pee pad” as the cause of death in my autopsy.

    I’ve been loitering here for a while, and I’d say your chances of having something worse than that on your autopsy are pretty good.  Do try to be careful…we’re all counting on you.

  47. 47.

    Madeleine

    John—I join debbie with her advice to ice incessantly. I’ve felt that pain—my kneecap slips if I turn the wrong way. Also stay off it, cuz crutches are not fun.

  48. 48.

    J R in WV

    I shut the game off at halftime. I’ve been a Green Bay fan for a long time, they are owned by residents of the town instead of a billionaire. But Rodgers and his vax bullshit lost me. What a freak, him and the Serbian tennis dJoker bastard. Fuck that shit~!!~

    Think they’re too smart & athletic to catch the virus?

    Corona doesn’t care!!

    Cole, glad you appear to have survived with minimal injuries~!~ This cold snap was worrisome, the coldest night I was feeling chilly, looked at the thermostat, it was set on 71, but the thermometer said 68. I turned things off and back on a couple of times, and it started blowing warm air again.

    Then I remembered the thermostat has 2 AA batteries in it. Replaced them, things have been good ever since.

    Was not looking forward to building a wood fire for warmth at all. Carrying firewood around at my age is not a good plan!

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