In case you’re new to Medium Cool, BGinCHI is here once a week to offer a thread on culture, mainly film & books, with some TV thrown in. We’re here at 7 pm on Sunday nights.
After enduring a crushing break-up on this very day–me standing there with flowers, the door shut in my face–I’ve never been able to warm up to its insidious compulsions.
So, in this week’s Medium Cool, let’s talk about heartbreak. In rock ‘n roll, country & western, rom-coms, tragedies, comedies, novels, pretty much everywhere in culture there are break-ups and let downs, divorces and betrayals. They might not make life pleasant, but they’re crucial material for a lot of art.
Tell us about your heartbreaks, your heartaches, your fool’s games, and maybe even you, standing in the cold rain.
Baud
I’ll mention Achy Breaky Heart right off the bat so we don’t ever have to speak of it again.
BGinCHI
Or “Valentimes Day,” as my sister always pronounced it as a kid.
BGinCHI
@Baud: He was no Bonnie Tyler.
HumboldtBlue
Speaking of love and dating, I came across author Beth Bailey yesterday. She wrote From Front Porch To Back Seat: Courtship In Twentieth Century America.
She explores how dating changed drastically from the 1920s through the 1960s, particularly after WW2, when dating was no longer a private family affair but instead a very public and transactional one.
Also, the Bengals better who some love on defense, they are getting shredded.
NotMax
Gotta link it.
:)
schrodingers_cat
All the genres you mentioned have nothing on Hindi movie songs when it comes to heartbreak.
Lata Mangeshkar and Kishore Kumar singing Gulzar’s poem set to music by R. D. Burman
in the 1975 movie Aandhi (The storm) based loosely on Indira Gandhi. Onscreen Suchitra Sen and Sanjeev Kumar.
Tere bina jindagi se ko shikva to nahin (No complaints about life without you)
Tere bina jindagi bhi lekin zindagi nahin (But life without you is no life)
Of all the people I mentioned on Gulzar (Sampurna Singh Kalra) lives. He was a refugee from Pakistan and is in his 90s.
NotMax
@HumboldtBlue
How to party, 1950s style.
;)
Josie
Went with a friend to see West Side Story, and one of the previews was for Peter Dinklage in Cyrano. How embarrassing – I expected to cry during the main show but not the preview as well. A two tissue experience.
HumboldtBlue
@NotMax:
O love how it’s the same music they used in the films on learning how to drive or fix a tractor.
Steeplejack
Appropriate for Valentine’s Day: ABC, “Poison Arrow.”
brendancalling
If you’re not listening to season two of the Cocaine and Rhinestones podcast, you’re missing the story of George Jones and, to a lesser extent, Tammy Wynette. Talk about heartache.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
He stopped loving her today.
Steeplejack
@Josie:
Cyrano actually looks like it could be good.
NotMax
The heck with Valentine’s Day. February 15th is chocolate 50% off day!
This year, a real Fat Tuesday.
:)
Josie
@Steeplejack: I thought so.
NotMax
@Steeplejack
Needs moar dragons.
//
wkwv
First major High School boyfriend dropped me for a redhead who had already graduated. Then he came by once every six weeks telling me how sweet I was and what a b–ch she was, just often enough to rip the wound open. Gone again until the next time. He dropped by my house on February 13th with a box of chocolates, ignoring my protests that I was getting over the flu and not wanting a visit. Man, was he over the top affectionate. After I peeled away, he told me all about how he and the redhead were getting married in her parent’s back garden on Valentines Day. I was unknowingly his Batchelor party and It only cost him a $6 box of See’s candy. I felt like a 16 year old divorcee. https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=H–_-gPX3Nw . Forever is 18 months. Cosmic justice would be if they got the flu on their honeymoon :-<, but no such luck. Glad now I was rid of him.
delk
Pretty much the whole album but this one aches.
UncleEbeneezer
No great heartbreak stories of my own but I absolutely LOVE sappy songs about heartbreak. The greatest ever, imo, is and will always be Crying by Roy Orbison. It’s he absolute gold standard and pretty much a perfect pop song.
Honorable mentions for Somebody’s Baby by Jackson Browne (also Tender Is The Night), Telephone Line by ELO, Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’ by Journey and I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues by Elton John.
Craig
Wong Kar-wai .
Brachiator
Songs of heartbreak
One of the most delicate is Lyle Lovett, North Dakota
A classic is Dionne Warwick singing Walk on By
And then there is the great By the Time I Get to Phoenix
NotMax
@UncleEbeneezer
What, no Nilsson?
;)
Wil
Is there a place for rage, hate, and never forgiving…..or is it just for the weepy stuff?
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@delk: oh yeah, good call
prostratedragon
“Love on a Two-Way Street ”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kwUsIMJPlYk
BGinCHI
@schrodingers_cat: Excellent. I know so little about that stuff!
BGinCHI
@UncleEbeneezer: That Browne song in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” is perfect.
UncleEbeneezer
@NotMax: That’s a whole other genre of bitter/angry break up songs. Which officially peaked in 1995 with You Oughta Know by Alanis Morisette.
BGinCHI
@Craig: ’nuff said.
The King.
Spanky
@NotMax: Yeah, that one. Not his drecky other one.
MagdaInBlack
He didn’t really break my heart, because I knew what I was getting into* but I do have one I call “My Favorite Mistake” (Cheryl Crow)
* Lotsa fun, pure trouble.
Eta: Jim Croce ” Operator” is a pretty good heartbreak song
topclimber
From heartache, I have mostly been spared since a college crush. From fool’s games, no such luck.
UncleEbeneezer
@BGinCHI: I’m always a sucker for that I-VI-IV-V chord interval in the chorus. It’s in countless tunes and it gets me every time.
Steeplejack
@Josie:
I’m usually skeptical when they set up a venerable classic to get the big Hollywooden treatment.
zhena gogolia
@NotMax: I loved that show. I totally forgot Jack Soo was in it.
zhena gogolia
@prostratedragon: One of my favorites of all times.
NotMax
Would You’re So Vain qualify as a break-up song? Or merely break-up adjacent?
prostratedragon
@zhena gogolia: Great karaoke before there was karaoke, the cornier the gestures the better.
NotMax
@zhena gogolia
The real thing. Not like those other shows with fake Soos.
:) (couldn’t resist)
Josie
@Steeplejack:
Yeah, that was my first reaction. But I do like Dinklage and, after seeing the preview, I’m tempted to go see it.
zhena gogolia
@wkwv: Wow, that is quite a story!
zhena gogolia
How’s this, a Russian prince broke my heart once. Square biz. (forgive my high-school slang but “Love on a Two-Way Street” has me nostalgic)
zhena gogolia
@prostratedragon: I can see in my mind’s eye a very emotional girl in the locker room performing it. Hahaha
Josie
Willie Nelson, Blue Eyes Cryin’ in the Rain
schrodingers_cat
@Steeplejack: For you.
From Gurudutt’s Pyaasa (1957) This is movie on the list of all time greats of Hindi cinema. I
Jaane woh kaise log thee
Jinke pyaar ko pyaar mila
Humne jab kaliyaan mangi
Kaaton ka haar mila
(Who knows who were the people
whose love begat love
When I asked for flower buds
All I got was a garland of thorns)
By Sahir Ludhianvi
Sung by Hemant Kumar
Pyaas = Thirst
Grumpy Old Railroader
Payday Blues (Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XydTlNeaGUI&ab_channel=DanHicksandTheHotLicks-Topic
Lyrics are just so delicious and seemed like I lived them a couple of times
I got my paycheck today
I think I’ll spend it like a crazy fool
Or I’ll give it all away
Something like the golden rule
And my paycheck ain’t hay
But somehow I just don’t seem to care
Ever since she went away
And left my little house so cold and bare
And I won’t tell ’em at the bank
What I’m gonna do with all my dough
I’ll just smile and tell ’em thanks (thanks)
For it’s better than they shouldn’t know
Then I’ll go and have a drink
At a little place where I can sit and think
‘Cause my baby went away
And left me here on my payday
Payday was never like this, no, no
Payday, but where is my happiness, I don’t know
I think I’ll have another drink
At a little place where I can sit and think, I’m thinkin’ ’bout the girl who went away
And left me here on my payday
Yeah, I think I’ll go down to the home of happy feet
I’m buying this round, bartender, make mine a hardball banger
Then I’ll go and have another drink
At a little place where I can sit and think
About the girl who went away, baby
And left me here on my payday
prostratedragon
@zhena gogolia:
More or less!
“Just My Imagination,” The Temptations (by Holland, Dozier, and Holland)
NotMax
@zhena gogolia
Don’t know why but brought on memory of the Ramon Navarro break-up scene in Car 54, Where Are You?.
Rob
@NotMax: Ah, I remember that song!
zhena gogolia
@prostratedragon: I was going to suggest that one!
“Every night, on my knees I pray, Dear Lord, hear my plea . . .”
Eddie Kendricks!
Jay
A Good Year For The Roses, Elvis Costello,
Ex didn’t know what she wanted. A year and a half of “I want a divorce”, “We should have a baby”, “Couples counselling”, I want a divorce”, over and over again, while home prices crashed,
In the end, she decided she didn’t want me, but wanted my dog.
When I hear the song, I miss my dog.
zhena gogolia
@NotMax: Alice Ghostley!
Omnes Omnibus
You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory. Johnny or Ronnie. Either is brilliant.
prostratedragon
@prostratedragon: In a similar “This will never happen” mode,
“The Girl from Ipanema,” Sinatra & Jobim
AliceBlue
Two of Joni Mitchell’s lesser known songs. “Amelia” and “Car on a Hill.”
Craig
Last time my heart got ripped out of my chest I played the grooves off of Elliot Smith’s catalog. He’s the Wong Kar-wai of sad waltzes and heartbreaking ballads.
Feathers
Can I say a heartache occurring right now – figure skating? The Kamila Valieva decision will be coming down in the early hours of the morning, US time. I used to love watching the young skaters as they appeared and then the progression of their careers as the artistry grew to match the jumps. Not so much now, but you used to then get their professional careers, where all that mattered was the artistry, and many grew in ways you never expected. Kurt Browning was always a meh for me as an amateur, but as a pro became a fave (Example 1 – Summertime ) (Example 2 – Nyah)
I don’t know that I have more links, but the YouTube Channel The Skating Lesson has had a daily update on the case. I’d start with today’s, about the German doctor that has been on payroll for years at the Russian Skating Federation, despite multiple skaters under his care being banned for doping.
schrodingers_cat
Humesha tumko chahao chaha kuch bhi nahi
(Always wanted you
And wanted nothing else)
From Devdas (2002 version)
This story of unrequited love has been made at least 4 times AFAIK
Sadly the truth of many Indian lovers, separated by arranged marriages.
There are those who call me...tim... (Still posh)
@Wil: Lyle Lovett’s “LA County”. The narrator does not take it well.
There are those who call me...tim... (Still posh)
“Kentucky Rain”. I will pull off the road to finish this song.
prostratedragon
@schrodingers_cat: Reminds me very much of a country ballad.
Spanish Moss
“Brokeback Mountain” is one of the saddest love stories I have read/seen. Not a breakup exactly, but so much heartbreak. Just wrenching. That scene where Ennis goes back to Jack’s childhood home and finds his shirt in Jack’s closet is almost unbearable. I had loved the book (novella?), and questioned whether it was suitable for a movie, but Ang Lee is such an amazing film maker I shouldn’t have worried. The scenery, the spare music, the acting — it was all perfect.
MomSense
Dylan’s Girl from the North Country always gets me. Spanish Boots of Spanish Leather is more like my tale of unrequited love.
debbie
@Feathers:
I’m old enough to remember when the Olympics was fun.
Omnes Omnibus
@MomSense: I love Girl from the North Country.
Craig
On the lighter side of heartache His Girl Friday and The Philadelphia Story. Heartbreak must be easier if you’re rich.
Rusty
I chased this girl I knew from college for a couple of years, but it was never more than friends. I was secretly heartbroken. I then met someone else, we fell in love with each other and got married. I found out later the she said, “I let a good one get away.” Turns out I got the much better of the two. It’s been a long challenging road, but 4 spawn and 30 years on we are still together.
MomSense
@Omnes Omnibus:
It’s a beautiful song.
prostratedragon
Dionne Warwick live in a small Belgium night club: “Walk On By”
A Belgian live somewhere or other:
“Le Moribond,” Jacques Brel (with English titles)
Benw
Pop punk is full of heartbreak. Here’s one of my faves, from the genre-defining Descendents: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szaR0Acn9kM
Craig
@Rusty: I like this story.
wkwv
@wkwv: I’ll try again – Stevie Wonder “I Believe”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H–_-gPX3Nw
zhena gogolia
@wkwv: Superb.
prostratedragon
@wkwv: I thought I was the only one who knew that song, even though the album was huge. ETA: 50 years ago this year, iinm!
Aretha Franklin live on British tv: “Don’t Play That Song”
Feathers
@debbie: I loved the Cold War Olympics, where the Up Close and Personal bits were about athletes from around the world. The baker in Norway who did biathlon, the Japanese track star, you went into their houses and saw their families. It was before the globalized world, so things were very different.
Now it’s all US athletes, prioritized based on tearjerker pasts. That every story is like that just makes them all unwatchable. This time around it’s all about the parents. It’s really creepy. Athletes getting up at the asscrack of dawn for a decade to train doesn’t matter, it’s their (preferably dead) Mom or Dad who made this all happen. They aren’t even showing the coaches. Figure skating always showed the coach giving that last bit of advice. This year it’s the live video of the family back home. Feels political. Sorry if this is the wrong heartbreak for the thread, I just used to really look forward to watching the Olympics, and they’ve ruined it.
BGinCHI
@UncleEbeneezer: Hard same.
boatboy_srq
@Steeplejack: I’ll see your ABC and raise you Studio Killers’ All Men Are Pigs.
BGinCHI
@Jay: Yeah, that one and “Alison.” Get me every time.
Craig
@BGinCHI: Alison breaks me. Apparently just by thinking about it.
BGinCHI
@Craig: I’ve gotten to where I can’t listen to it at all, or Imperial Bedroom in its entirety. I just wore it out at a certain point in my life and it just doesn’t work for me. Not Elvis’s fault.
Craig
@BGinCHI: I’m with you. Same thing for me and Miss Misery. That song is time, place and person specific to a usually uncomfortable degree. I was pretty sure Elliot Smith wrote that about me and my ex.
Wag
@Craig: Had the pleasure of seeing Elvis just before the pandemic hit. He still breaks your heart when he sings Allison
My aim is is true
billcinsd
I’d say the 26th most Australian song ever, Paul Kelley’s “To Her Door”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6FF3-SWwsE
Squeeze, “Up The Junction”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQciegmLPAo
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Craig: for movie heartbreak, it’s gotta be Remains of the Day. How many times do they crush each other even before that bus comes.
Craig
@Wag: “My aim is is true” gorgeous, terrifying, heartbreaking line.
Craig
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: I like that one, but I’m gonna go with Wong Kar-wai’s Happy Together, guys just crush each other and themselves. Got me over a breakup, cause, ‘Shit, I thought I had it bad’.
thruppence
When my wife told me that she wanted a divorce (after years of asking me to promise that I would never leave her) I listened to the Beastie Boys Sabotage over and over. Rage cathartic. We’re on good terms now.
Ghost of Joe Liebling*s Dog
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme
stinger
Bonnie Raitt, I Can’t Make You Love Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_z2PAkOSJT0
Just One More Canuck
It Makes No Difference-The Band. Rick Danko’s voice was pure heartbreak
debbie
@Feathers:
I agree. It’s not at all the same.
debbie
Without a doubt, Tracy Nelson’s Down So Low.
Steeplejack
@UncleEbeneezer:
The Four Tops, “Ask the Lonely.”
Steeplejack
@schrodingers_cat:
Thank you. Beautiful.
prostratedragon
“Damn Your Eyes,” Etta James
billcinsd
The Cure “Boy’s Don’t Cry”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q460cEwJgCI
prostratedragon
The whole album, especially the title song, and this: “Our Last Time,” Robert Cray
billcinsd
The Libertines (US) “Everybody wants to be my sister”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_UuLOrMsrM
prostratedragon
And speaking of Barry Manilow … I actually like this one, although he’s a knife’s edge with me, and the tale does fit the subject: “Copacabana”
prostratedragon
There must be Teddy Pendergrass: “Don’t Leave Me This Way,” Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes with Teddy Pendergrass
prostratedragon
One more just to complete the record: “Just to Keep You Satisfied,” Marvin Gaye
PaulB
Tara MacLean, “If You Could,” is one that always gets me. I first heard it as part of the soundtrack to a Canada flyover movie that I saw at the Vancouver Science World theater in British Columbia.
And you will never know
Until you’re standing in my shoes
Just how much you can love someone
And how much you can lose
And If I could make you turn around
To see how we were then
Just one look into my eyes
You’d fall in love again
If you could see me now