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No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

This blog will pay for itself.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

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It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Thursday Evening Open Thread: Storyliving!

Thursday Evening Open Thread: Storyliving!

by | 108 Comments

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I try not to mock other peoples’ relatively innocuous hobbies, but IMO this latest money grab is moving out of ‘innocuous’ territory. In the spirit of the fairy tale Disney sanitized back in 1959, imagine an impenetrable wall of briars growing up around the community, to protect its inhabitants in a magical sleep for a hundred years…


In Rancho Mirage:

… “Picture an energetic community with the warmth and charm of a small town and the beauty of a resort,” said Disney Parks, Experiences and Products exec Helen Pak in a promotional video.

Only one location has been announced so far: a community of 1,900 housing units named Cotino that will be built in the city of Rancho Mirage in California’s Coachella Valley (a location where Walt Disney himself once lived).

Concept art for Cotino shows villas, condos, and housing complexes clustered around a 24-acre “grand oasis,” which Disney says will offer “clear turquoise waters” powered by the Crystal Lagoons technology deployed at its resorts. Amenities will include “shopping, dining, and entertainment,” as well as a beachfront hotel and clubhouse hosting “Disney programming, entertainment and activities throughout the year.”

Members of the public will be able to visit Cotino by purchasing day passes, while a section of the development will be set aside for residents aged 55 and up. Prices for accommodation and financing options have not been announced, and Disney has also yet to share when construction will begin or when residents might be able to move in…

… Is “storytelling” just the company’s way of saying “you’ll have a really nice life if you pay us a lot of money,” or is it planning something nearer to the brand of lightweight immersive theater deployed in its parks and themed hotels? A report from USA Today hints at something more than just immaculate service:

“Every single element of these communities will be steeped in a story,” D’Amaro notes. The residents, he says, will be active participants in the stories.

Maybe, instead of being drawn into skits with hosts dressed up as Goofy or Elsa, Disney’s “Storyliving” residents will be able to take part in more grounded adventures, as staff who never break character help them navigate mid-life crises and suburban ennui. Why pay for therapy if you can turn your life into theater? A happy ending can be written for you.


IT MUST BE SERIOUS, BECAUSE MONEY.

When even Newsmax is snickering…

Reader Interactions

108Comments

  5. 5.

    hueyplong

    Weird, in that the kind of people who go there are probably the type we’d wish that place upon.

  7. 7.

    feebog

    So the first planned community will be in Rancho Mirage.  We used to have a condo up the road a piece in Cathedral City.  Summertime temperatures regularly hit 110 to 115.  Our place was on a golf course with a large hotel.  One fine summer day I went out about 9:00 am for a quick round and they paired me with a hotel guest.  He passed out on the 16th hole.  I managed to get his woozy ass back to the hotel for some medical treatment and finished the round by myself.  Nothing to fool around with.

  8. 8.

    FlyingToaster

    Sounds like HOA hell, on steroids.

    My house color, my lack-of lawn, my Xmas lights, and hell, my violin-playing teenager would sure as fuck violate Disney’s rules.

    Let’s see which states they manage to “develop these story-communities” in.

    Egads.

  9. 9.

    Chief Oshkosh

    @Baud: Maybe. But it’d be cool if a requirement for living on Donald Duck Lane is that all residents must wear blue sailor shirts and no lower garments at all.

  10. 10.

    Ken

    @OzarkHillbilly: Only hell for the workers, and they’re on the wrong side of the balance sheet.

    The concept reminds me of the “dementia villages” that are actually extended nursing homes for dementia patients, like Hogewey in the Netherlands. Like these Disney communities, the villages are often designed to look and feel like a town from fifty or more years ago, because that makes the patients feel comfortable.

  14. 14.

    mrmoshpotato

     “Picture an energetic community with the warmth and charm of a small town and the beauty of a resort, and not creepy-as-fuck, Stepford Wives territory at all!” said Disney Parks, Experiences and Products exec Helen Pak in a promotional video.

    Fixed.

  15. 15.

    marcopolo

    Sounds like a great jumping off point for something like the Twilight Zone or perhaps a post-apocalyptic story.

    Strikes me the cheaper way to do this is to just issue everyone VR glasses that superimpose a person’s “ideal” living environment on top of plain old reality but I guess there isn’t nearly as much money is that

    Edited to add that it was a long time ago I saw The Truman Show but that also comes to mind.

  16. 16.

    Brachiator

    Disney is developing planned communities for fans who never want to leave its clutches

    Here in Southern California (and elsewhere I guess), there are people who would buy yearly passes. They recently raised prices for the park, deliberately to try to reduce crowding, and people said “fuck it, you cannot raise ticket prices high enough to keep us away.”

    I don’t care. People like Disneyland and it is especially designed to be kid friendly. Since my family came to the area, I don’t think that I have ever gone unless it was a company perk for me or my family.

    But my younger brothers and sister still remember the first time we went to Disneyland. Remember it more fondly than a lot of other amusement places and events.

    As long as Scrooge McDuck ain’t handing out crypto-bucks, I am fine with whatever they do.

  17. 17.

    Yarrow

    I can see it working as a retirement community where there are Disney perks for residents that entice grandkids to visit.

    The video in the WSJ tweet says, “Residents will be able to get a membership that provides access to a waterfront clubhouse, Disney programming, and other amenities throughout the year.” So membership isn’t included; it’s extra. What the hell?

  20. 20.

    mrmoshpotato

    Disney revealed plans to develop residential communities across the U.S. designed by the company’s research-and-development team, know as Disney Imagineers Creepers.

    Seriously, is Fuckerberg on the Disney board now, because these reeks of the same way he tries to act like he’s human?

  23. 23.

    Ohio Mom

    Is the “Disney Magic” going to conjure up the water needed long-term to support those “storybook lives” in this desert valley? Maybe the story is about an ostensibly cute place turning into a parched dystopia?

    I have never understood the appeal of Disney, not even as a kid.

  24. 24.

    bbleh

    It’s the resort-hotel concept — make it so they never leave the property — expanded to a village.

    Creepy AF imo, but it’s ideal for the freedom-from-choice types.  No responsibility, no ambiguity, no thinking required: it’s a 24-hour massage-bubble-bath for your Id.

  25. 25.

    Martin

    Eh. Rent seekers gonna rent seek.

    In other news, California has announced a covid endemic plan. I think this helps explain some of the shifting of policies from other governors and the CDC. I’m not sure why CA managed to package it and nobody else did though, because you’d be forgiven from thinking that everyone else is just saying ‘fuck it’.

    The plan is to increase funding for testing including wastewater testing, in-school testing, and mask distribution, stockpiling of PPE, remove broad mandates but shift to localized lockdowns. The K-12 vaccination mandate for F22 remains in effect. I imagine the higher ed and other mandates will remain as well. Definitively not saying we’re ‘past Covid’, but more of a clear statement that there is no ‘past covid’, that we need to shift to managing life with it. And I think that’s reasonable. We’re so far from broadly getting R0 below 1 that it’s effectively impossible, especially with the employer mandate off the table (was probably impossible with the mandate in place).

    $3.2 billion in funding for the plan.

  26. 26.

    Brachiator

    Who does the Harry Potter stuff?

    I bet there are people who would pay good money to live at Hogwarts themed communities.

  27. 27.

    SpaceUnit

    I’ve never been to a Disney theme-park, but these communities sound like they’re gonna be a magnet for deranged gunmen desperate to punish society and cleanse their own souls with the blood of infidels.

  28. 28.

    Ken

    @Yarrow: So membership isn’t included; it’s extra. What the hell?

    “Honey, I’m running to the grocery store.”

    “Remember to take three ‘C’ tickets.”

  29. 29.

    bbleh

    @Ken: On the plus side, the shopping carts are motorized and on rails, and they accelerate to 40mph if you want to skip a section of the store.

  30. 30.

    Steeplejack

    * DVR Alert *

    Seems like someone recently was asking about the 1956 version of Around the World in Eighty Days with David Niven. TCM is running it at 11:45 a.m. EST Friday.

  33. 33.

    Bex

    @MomSense: I will just add BARF to your eloquent comment.  Thank you for posting it.  I’ve had the opportunity to not visit Disney World for over 30 years.  Family lives not too far from it, and I never darkened the door to the so-called magic kingdom.

  34. 34.

    JaneE

    It sounds like a senior golf course development for families with kids.  Like condos, all sorts of rules and regulations, but instead of being invited by residents you can buy your way in and enjoy the facilities.  I can’t imagine it would be cheap, even with the shops and restaurants to help with the upkeep.  Is there that much business in the area to support that many new families with jobs to make the payments on their Disney dream home?

  37. 37.

    NotMax

    Did they not try/do this already in Celebration, Florida? Has that swirled down the collective memory hole?

  38. 38.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Baud:

    Those communities are going to be so full of racists…

    Yeah, but there won’t be anyone to bitch about because no non-white person would even think about even visiting Creepy Ass, USA Creepy Ass Racist-Ass Manbabyville, USA.

  39. 39.

    Bex

    @NotMax: I don’t think Celebration was ever that successful.  It does have an excellent hospital.  It’s demographically appropriate.

  41. 41.

    Martin

    @bbleh: In my experience, living in a planned community you’d be forgiven for mistaking for a Disney community, the major problem is going to be that in order to maintain quality of life, operational costs are going to go up over time, meaning your out of pocket not being returned to you as capital is going to go up.

    In CA there’s a relatively clean split between properties built before about 1982 and those built after, which is referred to as ‘Mello-Roos’ after the two lawmakers that introduced the bill. It allows communities to assess a different layer of property taxes to fund specific services. It was a response to Prop 13 effectively bankrupting towns and cities by giving them a narrower, more targeted revenue stream. But if you live in house like mine, built in a community that predates the law, you can’t be assessed them. As a result, the folks across the street here in the newer neighborhood can face $300-$500/mo more in recurring taxes to pay for street improvements (lights, etc.) and various other services.

    People who live in these Disney properties are going to face that sort of thing over time, with increased recurring service costs, which if nothing else will make these communities less desirable for people to move into as time goes on. I would expect these properties to not appreciate as well relative to properties outside of Disney.

    Rancho Mirage is an interesting choice. It’s midway between Palm Springs and Palm Desert. Average temp in July is 106. It’s fucking hot down there. Most land is golf courses, which are great in winter, and fine in summer if you can wrap up your round before 10AM. There’s not much undeveloped land right through there so I wonder if it’s in the foothills (steep) or if they’re paving over a golf course. The big warning comes looking 10 years out, and what’s happening with water. Pro Publica has a nice look at the politics of water in the area. After reading it, ask yourself if that seems sustainable over time, or if maybe the hammer is going to drop on desert water usage before too long.

  46. 46.

    CaseyL

    As one of the Tweets notes, EPCOT was originally meant to be a prototypic future community, with the theme park a mere add-on.  There were reasons that project never went forward: IIRC,  it had to do with zoning or school requirements, which Disney didn’t want to have to abide by.  I don’t recall anything about Walt himself being in charge; it doesn’t sound like him – he preferred to be thinking up new things, not presiding over already-existing things.  Though governance was probably also an issue back then!

    One does wonder, with a shudder, what the “themes” of the “communities” will be.   Based on existing Disney properties? Well, I mean, Disney owns everything now.  You could live in a Marvel or Pixar or Star Wars community just as well as a Pirates of the Caribbean or Country Bear Jamboree community.

    I’m a HUGE fan of HBO’s version of “Westworld,” and during the first season spent a tidy bit of time fantasizing about sneaking into the place and setting up a homestead in some forgotten corner.  The point, though, was that I could fantasize enjoying living in a sanitized “Old West” (no drought, no blizzards, no poisonous critters, no enraged previous residents trying, quite justifiably, to get rid of me) while avoiding the storylines, guests, and Management.  I mean, I really got into it:  Could I farm? Was there real weather, or only what the park programmed?  How was the water supply set up?  Could I steal one of those wonderful horses without anyone noticing – and if so, did they need to be fed and watered?

    So I can kind of see the attraction of living in a real-life Westworld… but there’s a reason every living-in-a-theme-park story, whether in print or film, ends up a cautionary, dystopian tale.  Humans are OK with being controlled and regimented…right up until the moment they’re no longer OK with it, and then things get ugly.  Plus, the HOA bylaws are bound to be nightmarish.

  48. 48.

    A Ghost to Most

    This is my surprised face. People who believe in magic never grow up. They just believe harder. Disney is merely monetizing it, like all successful grifts. Rube capture is an important part of a successful grift.

  49. 49.

    Ella in New Mexico

    We saw how well deep-sim living experiences worked out on “WestWorld”…

    Edit:

    Reading the comments I can see I’m not the only one to have this association

  50. 50.

    danielx

    I have already told da family I am never again visiting a Florida theme park of any sort whatsoever, much to the daughter unit’s displeasure. But fuckit, I’m past spending a bunch of money going someplace I don’t want to visit because “family vacation”.
    Living in a theme park environment? No. Just no.​

  52. 52.

    Miss Bianca

    I don’t get it. I mean, I really enjoyed Once Upon A Time, but that doesn’t mean I’d want to live in Storyville…

  54. 54.

    Gvg

    @NotMax: celebration exists and is doing fine. This sound similar. Celebration is just a nice set of developments, a bit better taste than most around them. I suspect this new one is the same. It is just overhyped and advertised but not really that unusual. I don’t think it will even manage to be creepy.

    Some people really love Disney. I like it while the kids are young. When they are having a blast, I love it. As they grow up…I don’t care as much. But I know people, mostly women, who just love all Disney parks and movies and collect all kinds of miniature figures and display them everywhere.

    They have 2 nice water parks and the Florida resident passes are reasonable. When Covid is over, if it ever is, I will hit the water parks again. I really enjoy water parks. Florida is hot and water makes it fun.

  55. 55.

    Brachiator

    These Disney themed communities are bound to be a success because the whole thing sounds … Goofy.

  59. 59.

    texasboyshaun

    “Picture an energetic community with the warmth and charm of a small town”

    So it’s 99% white and upper-middle class? I wonder if the help will be allowed a small slum for themselves.

    @Baud: Perhaps each home comes with a free NFT, like the cookie-cutter homes that come with a free 80″ TV or such.

  62. 62.

    Another Scott

    BIG NEWS:The Senate will vote on the Women’s Health Protection Act which, if passed, would codify Roe v Wade into law.

    Senator Chuck Schumer (@SenSchumer) announced he would bring the bill to a vote on February 28.h/t @ReproRights

    — Kate Smith (@byKateSmith) February 18, 2022

    Yes, 60 votes are needed. But it’s the first vote ever on something like this and is a necessary first step. And it helps keep the subject in the news for voters who aren’t paying enough attention…

    (via nycsouthpaw)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  63. 63.

    texasboyshaun

    @feebog: *goes to Street View to have a look*

    Oh God. There’s not a blade of grass within 50 miles. What is the appeal to people who live there?

  66. 66.

    Scout211

    @Gvg:

    celebration exists and is doing fine.

    Is it doing better now?  This article from 2019 in The Daily Beast and several other publications were all about how Disney sold Celebration to a private equity firm and the utopia turned into a nightmare.

    ETA:  From the Daily Beast story

    When Disney first laid out his plan for Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow, he painted it as a model of American capitalism. “EPCOT will always be a showcase to the world,” Disney said, “for the ingenuity and imagination of American free enterprise.” In a sense, it always has been—a corporate-built town constructed too quickly and too cheaply, sold off to unsuspecting owners under the guise of utopia while nurturing the same social issues that exist everywhere else. These past few years, as real estate developers eat up neighborhoods and private equity shutters sports websites, hospitals, and big-box retailers across the country, the imagination of American free enterprise merely entered a new phase. As Town Center residents battle their new corporate landlords, Celebration is still keeping Disney’s dream alive, just perhaps not the way he had hoped.

  67. 67.

    Anne Laurie

    @CaseyL: Disney owns everything now. You could live in a Marvel or Pixar or Star Wars community just as well as a Pirates of the Caribbean or Country Bear Jamboree community.

    As one of the links in the Verge article mentions, you can *already* live in Disney’s Star Wars universe… as long as you’ve got a minimum $4,809 for two adults, two days.

    Fantasy livestyles don’t come cheap!

  68. 68.

    Ruckus

    @Yarrow:

    Just had a similar thought.

    Disneyworld was fun when I was in single digits. I’ve been once since becoming an adult and it was fun ridding all the really fun rides late at night because the lines were almost non existent. And otherwise it meant sitting in my hotel room by myself. Also I hadn’t been in decades. This was over 20 yrs ago and I haven’t had any desire nor been back since.

    Living in a Disneyworld atmosphere, hmmmm.

    Hmmmmmm….

    Just fuck no.

  70. 70.

    Martin

    Galveston Bay expected to see see level rise of 25″ by 2050. That’s uh, a LOT, and sooner than you think. Per NOAA and 5 other govt agencies.

  71. 71.

    raven

    @Ruckus: Right before I went in the Army we went to DL and I had a “Pomona Drags” jacket on and they wouldn’t let me wear it until I turned it inside out so you couldn’t read the text!

  72. 72.

    raven

    @Martin: The 1900 Galveston hurricane,[1] also known as the Great Galveston hurricane and the Galveston Flood, and known regionally as the Great Storm of 1900 or the 1900 Storm,[2][3] was the deadliest natural disaster in United States history and the fifth-deadliest Atlantic hurricane, only behind Hurricane Mitchoverall.[4] The hurricane left between 6,000 and 12,000 fatalities in the United States; the number most cited in official reports is 8,000.

  78. 78.

    Martin

    @Ruckus: Disney can be fun if you’re local and on an annual pass. Its $400/yr so you do need to go somewhat often, but it also takes a lot of time pressure off. A lot of people here will just go in the evening on a weekday for a few hours, that kind of thing. But outside of that, nah.

  79. 79.

    Omnes Omnibus

    I went to Disneyland the summer I turned five.  The only thing I remember is that the animatronic Presidents bored me.

  81. 81.

    raven

    @HinTN: If you haven’t read
    The Rise and Decline of the Redneck Riviera: An Insider’s History of the Florida-Alabama Coast by Hardy Jackson it’s a lot of fun and has great info on Seaside. His grandmother bought a lot about four bucks from the town center for $1000 in the 40’s.

  84. 84.

    UncleEbeneezer

    Aside from The Villages, and maybe similar places in Texas, I can’t think of a place that I’d be less interested in calling home.  Roughly 10 minutes into any trip to Disneyland, I’m thoroughly ready to leave.  We have friends who are obsessed with Disney and we never can understand it.  they don’t even have kids.

  86. 86.

    UncleEbeneezer

    @HinTN: We went to a wedding on Olympic peninsula in 2017 and stumbled into Seaside.  I was like “This place is creepy like the Truman Show.”  Had no idea…

  87. 87.

    Suzanne

    I’m not sure this is any different than Celebration, y’all.

    The Mouse has done this for a while.

  88. 88.

    raven

    @HinTN: Oh good, I really liked it too! After I read “Decline and Fall” I looked up Hardy. He was a history Prof at Jacksonville State and did his Doc here at UGA. I wrote him an email telling him how much I enjoyed the book and we ended up getting coffee and shooting the shit down there. I think he is referenced in “The Gulf”.

  92. 92.

    CaseyL

    @UncleEbeneezer:

    @raven:

    Uncle Ebeneezer may be referring to Seabrook, which is an artificial community a bit up the highway from Ocean Shores, on the ocean coast of the Olympic Peninsula.

    It went through a very hard time after the Great Recession in 2008, when RE prices plummeted, but has now bounced back.  Big time: houses pretty much start at $500K; if you want something with a water view, you’re looking at $1m at least.  I didn’t do more than a quick drive-by (I go to Ocean Shores a few times a year, so it’s easy to swing by) and didn’t see much in the way of a “community” – restaurants, shops, medical facilities – but it’s possibly they’re there and I just didn’t see them.

    And, yes, “planned communities” do give me the creeps.

  93. 93.

    Ruckus

    @raven:

    My dad had a buddy, I think from the navy, who had a daughter who went to work at DL when it opened, they lived not far from there. So we got exposed to the very early DL experience. It was OK for a day at a time, as long as you took a while off inbetween.

    @Martin:

    The last time I went, on that Saturday night, it had changed from a ticket a ride to where you paid to get in and did whatever you wanted. But as I said the best part was no real lines. I think I rode the Matterhorn about 10 times. This was like 20-25 yrs ago. But I seriously doubt I’d enjoy it all that much now. Life in your 8th decade isn’t the same as the 8th grade.

  94. 94.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Chetan Murthy:

    From the Mirror article:

    “Where else do you have beautiful walking trail, a selection of community pools to use, community events and the ability to see multiple displays of fireworks every single night of the year.

    Dear gods. If I were inflicted with a nightly fireworks display, I’d go berserk within a week. And for those who don’t mind the bangy noise — well, wouldn’t it just get boring after a while? I mean, part of the attraction of fireworks is that they signify a special (rare) event.

  95. 95.

    Ruckus

    @UncleEbeneezer:

    As I’ve stated I was born and raised in SoCal, before DL. When it opened there was things for geezers and kids. I’d bet there still are. Sure a lot of the rides are mostly for the younger end of the spectrum but if you had grandkids it wouldn’t be a bad place to take them for a day. But I also see that I have no real reason to go and spend the kind of money it takes to go for a day. Been there done that.

  96. 96.

    Ruckus

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    You obviously don’t live near me. I’m in north eastern LA county and while fireworks are outlawed here, it seems that no one actually knows that. I spent 2 years on a US Navy guided missile destroyer, 5 in guns, solid propellent rockets, solid propellent torpedoes and I one time had to be the guy that sat with a firehose next to one of the 5 in guns with a firehose for what seemed like a week, to cool the gun if it had a misfire, so it didn’t blow up. I believe that made me expendable. OK along with everything else… But all of that did nothing to get me ready for the neighborhood I now live in (yes I’m looking for another place!). Have about 75 feet from my apt a house that seems to have a clown who lives there who likes loud bangs at odd times. Fortunately his schedule (and I’d bet his budget) doesn’t allow him to purchase loud explosives as often as he’d like. But he’s not alone around here there are other assholes around town. I think they communicate by explosions. Stunning delivery, simple message. They are who and what you think they are.

  97. 97.

    Ascap_scab

    Somehow, I’m imagining a quasi- Truman Show, where after a few months people look to leave but find they are trapped in a dome with no escape and loud speakers blaring “It’s a Small World” 24/7/365.

  98. 98.

    UncleEbeneezer

    @raven: Oh shit.  There’s a place called Seabrook in WA that looks very similar.  It’s downright creepy in how vanilla it is.  My bad!

  99. 99.

    UncleEbeneezer

    @Ruckus: The rides are fine.  It’s the crowds, crazy long lines and ridiculous prices and shitty food that turns me off.  I guess that is pretty much the case for any theme park nowadays, but I’d much rather go to the County Fair in Pomona or drive out to Magic Mountain.

  100. 100.

    Ruckus

    @UncleEbeneezer:

    I understand. The rides at MM are a bit more…. exciting. DL rides require you to have an idea of how good they are. You have no doubt at MM. Now of course I haven’t been to either in a while so my information is possibly out of date.

  102. 102.

    Mary G

    @Martin:  When my work friends had teens, they all bought their kids season passes because Disney doesn’t fool around with stuff like drugs and alcohol. They’d take that pass away, ban the kid for life in a heartbeat, and cut them off from their social circle.

  103. 103.

    yellowdog

    @JaneE: 1900 residences is not enough people to support restaurants and multiple retail outlets, which they are promising to build in the community.

  104. 104.

    w3ski

    I want to know just where they plan to get the water for this adventure?  The Colorado is drying up, and even Lake Mead is drying up, and there are no other sources of the water this will need.

    I really don’t see that this will get off the ground.  That’s a desert there, no Oasis’s to be found.

    w3ski

  108. 108.

    texasboyshaun

    @A Ghost to Most: I’m just waiting for the Harry Potter-themed retirement communities because I can’t wait to laugh at how many people will flock there. Expectorus Getoffmylawnum!

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