BREAKING: A giant cargo ship "Felicity Ace" is on fire in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
It's carrying a cargo of Porsche and VW automobiles.
The crew safely abandoned ship in lifeboats. Under maritime law the ship is now "finders keepers." pic.twitter.com/gHLqHncrOi
— Retro Tech Noir (@RetroTechNoir) February 17, 2022
Who wants to go for a long swim….
Open Thread.
Scout211
In other breaking news: Ha ha ha ha! Source
David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch
Felicity went downhill after she cut her hair
David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch
Tick Tock Mutherfucker
Jerry
Felicity had no choice but to radically change her look, the FBI was onto her KGB spy ring. Did you know that Honey I Blew Up the Kid was her first assignment in the USA?
SpaceUnit
@Scout211:
I suppose the Trump family being deposed by an AG after their accounting firms bails out is not at all unlike a burning cargo ship being abandoned by its crew in the middle of the ocean.
Spot on, as the Brits would say.
Baud
At least it’s not blocking a major shipping bottleneck.
Baud
Oh man, there’s going to be a cocaine shortage now.
I blame Biden.
prostratedragon
@SpaceUnit: Providence!
danielx
How does one get a 911 off a burning ship?
jonas
@Scout211: Liz Dye over at Wonkette has an absolutely hilarious rundown of the absolute shitshow the hearing turned into. Trump sends three lawyers: two clowns whose asinine theatrics just piss off the judge and a third who actually knows how to argue in court. By the time the judge hears a not-insane legal argument from the third lawyer (which he still dismisses) he’s had to spend the better part of the hearing dealing with the two assholes performing for an audience of one and is, shall we say, not amused. I’m sure their ride home together was fun.
craigie
@danielx:
Very quickly, of course!
Leto
@danielx: The Fast and Furious movies are an invaluable reference for car hijinks. I’m sure they’ve done something like that, so that’d be the first place I’d start.
Raoul Paste
They are in the lifeboats quibbling over the movie rights as we speak
But seriously, I would hate to be in a lifeboat in the middle of the damn Atlantic
Leto
@jonas: You wonder why the judge wouldn’t throw out the assclowns. Or the fact that that legal strategy would spectacularly backfire in that the first two assclowns would so piss off the judge that he’d be out of fucks by the time “sane” lawyer was up to speak. Whatever. Dotard wants theatrics? Fuck around and find out.
The Moar You Know
@danielx: I’ve seen cars loaded for maritime transport, and they’re usually driven onto their designated deck and into a designated parking spot and then strapped down.
You might be able to actually get a few off if they were in cargo containers, but that would in no way be a risk-free operation and certainly not worth what it would cost.
SpaceUnit
@prostratedragon:
Allegorical, at least.
But of course that’s for each man to decide for himself.
Ken
“Scientists were at a loss to explain why the burning ship drifted into the Narrows before exploding and sinking, completely blocking access to Upper New York Bay. ‘It moved against all the currents in the area,’ one said. ‘It was almost like some curse playing out.'”
David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch
With the bespectacled Hanson sisters wreaking havoc on the ice, Canada is unstoppable.
The Moar You Know
@Leto: I suspect what you’re describing here was actually the intended result; it would give an ironclad grounds for appeal.
Looks like the judge didn’t bite on the bait.
Cermet
@Raoul Paste: And a massive storm is sweeping East-Northeast across the US central & northern part and if they were following the northern route to/from Europe, could be in its path. That would be ugly.
Ken
@The Moar You Know: “But what if the cars were secretly being used to smuggle uncut gemstones? Or plutonium?” — a screenwriter, unaware that he is about to be sued by the makers of Beyond the Poseidon Adventure.
Leto
@Raoul Paste: Here’s a deployable life raft with tunnel gif.
And this is why you always fasten your lifeboat seatbelts if there are any.
Yarrow
@Baud: He’s gonna be so coked out that deposition is going to be very interesting. I hope it’s recorded and we get to see it! ?
Poor Eric. Not important enough to make the deposition list.
Cermet
@The Moar You Know: And all those cars have fuel. Gonna be an interesting fire as the interiors burn and released fuel causes even more cars to burn – a chemical chain-reaction leading to an interesting time on the ship. The tanks (all partly filled) so some are surely exploding creating a nice inferno below decks.
Ken
Or the secret inside informer.
Naw, it’d never happen. But it would be funny if the thought got lodged in TFG’s head.
Burnspbesq
YouTube Car Guy Matt Farah’s limited-edition Boxster Spyder is on that ship. It’s not the first time Porsche has lost special-order vehicles in maritime accidents. Their history is they make it good for everybody. Eventually.
hells littlest angel
Bye Felicity.
Burnspbesq
@Cermet:
ship is off the Azores. Portuguese Navy ran the crew rescue.
Brachiator
Would have been a hell of a Super Bowl commercial.
Burnspbesq
@Cermet:
Porsche is selling more Taycans than all other models combined. Interesting question about the behavior of big lithium-ion batteries in this situation.
WhatsMyNym
@Burnspbesq:
Looks like it’s probably in their territorial waters too.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Cermet: We just had Dudley which smacked the treacle out of us on the North West Coast (I live on the coast) Now we’ve got Eunice which will smack the treacle out of the South West Coast. Any it has been blowing a hooley for two days and tomorrow will be three. WHOO!
danielx
@jonas:
It is amazing TFG has stayed out of jail this long, but he usually had at least semi-competent legal counsel in the past. Evidently his rep for not paying the help has caught up with him.
delk
Put some sharks between the cargo boat and the shore, then call Fonzie.
Patricia Kayden
Poe Larity
@danielx: Carrerafully
trollhattan
@Jerry:
Talk about a 1/who she used to play role. And Elizabeth was the far more dangerous of the Jennings couple, to boot.
jefft452
somebody must have snuck a Tesla on board
trollhattan
Well, like, that’s just your opinion, man. Guess the check has cleared Rand, yeah?
MisterForkbeard
@jonas: Well, now I need a link because I can’t find anything on that over at Wonkette :/
trollhattan
@jefft452:
TBH my first thought was hey, VW and Porsche are pushing out EVs now. Wonder if….
Gas cars ship with nearly empty tanks, not that there isn’t plastic and fabric and rubber aplenty.
MisterForkbeard
@Leto: I recently gave a professional talk where I used the Fast and Furious movies as a metaphor for good server and application design. It was very silly and very well received.
I don’t even like the movies but they’re applicable to everything :)
Raven
The cargo ship that grounded off St Simons was full of cars.
satby
Second big snowstorm in two weeks. It was 50° yesterday and melted off the remainder of the snow and ice from the 13 inches we got Feb 3&4; it started raining early this morning, then sleeting about 1pm, and there’s already two inches of snow on the ground since 3 pm. We’re under flood and winter travel advisories. Again.
Jinchi
@Baud: So is Eric relieved or upset to be off the target list?
And lets spare a thought for poor Tiffany, the forgotten child.
grannymc
189 Bentleys worth $30 million total are on board, according to Bentley.
Yarrow
This story is the best thing I’ve read in ages.
There are photos, a bit of internet sleuthing and a great conclusion. It’s a fun little story.
MagdaInBlack
@satby: Up here in the NW suburbs, I took the day off because I just didn’t want to deal with a commute in what they were predicting. I felt a little guilty when I got up and nothing had happened, but i’s snowing pretty heavy now (and has been since about 1 pm) and I feel vindicated.
Jeffro
I bet someone took a smoke break in the hold instead of at the stern, like you’re supposed to.
Burnspbesq
@Jinchi:
She is currently working as a research assistant for a professor at Georgetown Law. AFAIK, she is not a member of the bar in any state, which seems a wise move on her part.
Leto
@Patricia Kayden: it was either Slate or Mother Jones that did a long investigative piece on how basically at least 50% of Florida’s law enforcement had white supremacist ties, including the prison guards. Personally, it was a shocking/not shocking moment.
@MisterForkbeard: absolutely hilarious and I love it! Not a big FF fan, but I do like the ones starring The Rock. Just good action films.
SiubhanDuinne
@MisterForkbeard:
At your service:
https://www.wonkette.com/trump-lawyers-throw-courtroom-tantrum-in-effort-to-avoid-having-client-testify-in-new-york-inquiry
Leto
@Patricia Kayden: did a quick search and found one of the related articles: White supremacist prison guards work with impunity in Florida
Jeffro
Oddly enough, Fox News does not appear to have a story up yet about the former guy and his adult kids having to sit for depositions about their years of fraudulent financial activities.
Hmmm.
Maybe their webmaster is on a break, or something.
They DO, however, have stories up about 1) Fauci 2) people trying to smear Clarence Thomas 3) The ‘Squad’ 4) BLM and 5) some random guy saying President Biden is going to let all the immigrants in.
I’m sure they’ll get to the trump deposition thing any moment now…
Old School
@Yarrow: That was fun, but I have to admit that I’ve never seen those photos before today.
satby
@MagdaInBlack: yep. Lots of that around here too.
Kay
So great
Leto
@Yarrow: that’s adorable. The fact they recreated it, with additional help, is awesome.
Baud
@Kay:
?
mrmoshpotato
@Scout211:
Salty balls, you mobster shitstains!
Kay
Those sneaky clerks in the Blue Counties again. They probably quietly changed the rule to admit thousands of GOP applications.
The Texas Tribune is a good paper. Next they should find out how many applications were rejected before they changed the rule, but just for Republican voters.
mrmoshpotato
@jonas: Beat them all with their own bones! It’s tremendous bigly watching them getting punching in their fucking fascist faces!
catclub
@Baud:
yet
Mike S (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!)
Eric has already been deposed. WaPo story
Brachiator
@Mike S (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!):
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Frank Wilhoit
@SpaceUnit: Insurance fraud does seem to be a potential commonality.
Bill Arnold
@Ken:
Do it!
MisterForkbeard
@trollhattan: Uh. I mean, nothing in the bill actually says or does those things, so it’s not an AUMF or War.
J R in WV
Perhaps the sheer overwhelming stupidity of Republicans, esp R office holders, will interfere with their ability to win elections? We can hope so.
We managed to pull the old deep well pump and install a new pump before the heavy rain began — a little shower was all we encountered. New pump was $1,400, other parts and labor pushed the total just of $2k. So glad to have running water again tho.
Also, after raining hard all afternoon, we now have frogs chirping in the tiny 8’x12′ pond out the front door. Amazing in mid-February to have frogs chirping at nearly 9 pm.
PaulWartenberg
No way. I’ve seen enough horror movies to know that any abandoned cargo ship in the middle of the ocean is haunted by murder ghosts.
PaulWartenberg
@Ken:
“Scientists were at a loss to explain why the burning ship drifted into the Narrows before exploding and sinking, completely blocking access to Upper New York Bay. ‘It moved against all the currents in the area,’ one said. ‘It was almost like some curse playing out.’”
WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MURDER GHOSTS?!?!?!