I once said that if I had any artistic talent, I'd recreate famous paintings but with everyone looking at their phones and make a zillion dollars off pretentious dickheads. https://t.co/xfJnmZdObX
— The Substack of Boba Fett (@agraybee) March 13, 2022
The ‘irony’ here — you wouldn’t really need any artistic talent, just a dedicated (greedy) agent with the right art-world contacts…
La Grand Jatte with everyone looking at their phones. The Last Supper with everyone looking at their phones. Degas's ballerinas on their phones. Why was I born with the drawing skills of a stroke victim.
— The Substack of Boba Fett (@agraybee) March 13, 2022
Ivan The Terrible, collapsed to his knees, cradling his phone as his eyes widen and he realizes what he's done. Actually it's probably for the best that I can't draw.
— The Substack of Boba Fett (@agraybee) March 13, 2022
Laocoon and his sons but instead of getting attacked by snakes, they're being attacked by charging cables
— Nick Vitha (@NickVitha) March 13, 2022
Washington Crossing the Delaware — minimal photoshopping skills required to put a phone in Washington’s hand. Maybe give the frantic rowers headband GoPros, for additional marketing oomph?
debbie
Ophelia floating on the river, grateful she’s about to drown because she forgot to charge her phone. Again.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
A bunch of these types of “art” pieces could be featured on r/phonesarebad subreddit
Ken
Gioconda, smirking at the joke someone texted to her phone.
Kent
According to Wikipedia:
More people die from selfies than sharks.
Omnes Omnibus
@Kent: Hold my beer.
trollhattan
@Kent:
Selfies and booze and cliffs, bad combo, kids.
OTOH sharks taking selfies would be all kinds of awesome.
Barbara
I did take a funny picture in the Rodin Museum of people checking their phones in front of a life sized statue of a couple locked in a passionate embrace. Just sort of highlighted for me the limits of art in the modern world.
Ken
@trollhattan: Unusually, any two of them together are about as dangerous as the three-way combo.
bbleh
Mona Lisa with her enigmatic smile and her phone tilted so you just barely can’t see what’s on it.
Dali’s Persistence of Memory but with melted smartphones.
The Discoboulos turning because he just heard a message tone.
… seriously these would make MUCH better NFTs than a bunch of ugly monkey cartoons.
SiubhanDuinne
Several years ago, in late October, there was a terrific New Yorker cover: tiny children in witch and pirate and princess costumes all running up to a big house for their treats, while their parents all hovered around the fringes, staring at their phones, which shone ghostly blue reflections on their faces. Put the spookiness where it properly belonged.
ETA: And I’m pretty sure at some point there was a cover which had Eustace Tilley gazing at a smartphone (rather than the traditional butterfly) through his monocle.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Kent:
Jaws, but the phones are alive and evil and kill people
delk
Cici n’est pas une iPhone
prostratedragon
@bbleh: That Dali sounds choice. Maybe The Fragility of Memory?
Ken
@SiubhanDuinne: Similar to the opening of the zom-rom-com Warm Bodies, with an airport full of people all staring vacantly at their phones as they wander around, which smoothly transitions to an airport full of zombies staring vacantly at nothing as they wander around.
NotMax
Statue of David snapping a selfie you know where.
:)
scav
Recreate Stonehenge, only with phones.
Kropacetic
Gotta capture that beautiful coiffe, amirite?
Jager
@bbleh:
Goya’s Naked Maja, taking a selfie
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Johannes Gumpp
that’s it. that’s the post
Dangerman
Recently seen on a T Shirt:
”It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just I’d unplug your hospital ventilator if I need to charge my phone”
prostratedragon
The Moai … can’t … go on …
Kalakal
2001 – My god, it’s full of tweets
JWR
I was thinking maybe I could put my limited artistic Art talents to work, then Googled “Mona Lisa with cell phone” and found out there’s loads of Mona Lisa selfies out there.
But I once did some fun image manipulation for a friend’s online bookstore. I remember replacing the heads of the folks in Delacroix’s Liberty Leading the People with his favorite authors, (James Joyce, etc.), with others holding up signs with the bookstore’s name. That was a lotta fun! Easy, too, though time consuming.
Scamp Dog
@Kent: let’s do some calculating…
That’s almost 2 deaths per incident!
HumboldtBlue
Oh, and Uhtred son of Uhtred is back for season 5.
Misterpuff
@Kalakal: THE DAWN OF MAN
Apes circle giant black monolith, charge and bare teeth at it. One finally approaches and touches it.
IT LIGHTS UP AND PLAYS Thus Spake Zarathustra ringtone.
Ken
@Kalakal: The monolith’s dimensions were in a 1:4:9 ratio, which is similar to that of a phone. Interesting coincidence(?).
S. Cerevisiae
@Ken: yeah, but mine has never opened up a star gate yet, I haz disappoint…