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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Sunday Evening Open Thread: Marketing Opportunities

Sunday Evening Open Thread: Marketing Opportunities

by Anne Laurie|  March 13, 202210:09 pm| 28 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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I once said that if I had any artistic talent, I'd recreate famous paintings but with everyone looking at their phones and make a zillion dollars off pretentious dickheads. https://t.co/xfJnmZdObX

— The Substack of Boba Fett (@agraybee) March 13, 2022

The ‘irony’ here — you wouldn’t really need any artistic talent, just a dedicated (greedy) agent with the right art-world contacts…

La Grand Jatte with everyone looking at their phones. The Last Supper with everyone looking at their phones. Degas's ballerinas on their phones. Why was I born with the drawing skills of a stroke victim.

— The Substack of Boba Fett (@agraybee) March 13, 2022

Ivan The Terrible, collapsed to his knees, cradling his phone as his eyes widen and he realizes what he's done. Actually it's probably for the best that I can't draw.

— The Substack of Boba Fett (@agraybee) March 13, 2022

Laocoon and his sons but instead of getting attacked by snakes, they're being attacked by charging cables

— Nick Vitha (@NickVitha) March 13, 2022

Washington Crossing the Delaware — minimal photoshopping skills required to put a phone in Washington’s hand. Maybe give the frantic rowers headband GoPros, for additional marketing oomph?

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Previous Post: « Culture as a Hedge Against This Soul-Sucking Political Miasma We’re Living In
Next Post: War for Ukraine Update 19: The Ukrainians Are Holding, But They’re Taking a Pounding In the South and the East spy v. spy flyouts»

Reader Interactions

28Comments

  1. 1.

    debbie

    March 13, 2022 at 10:16 pm

    Ophelia floating on the river, grateful she’s about to drown because she forgot to charge her phone. Again.

  2. 2.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    March 13, 2022 at 10:20 pm

    A bunch of these types of “art” pieces could be featured on r/phonesarebad subreddit

  3. 3.

    Ken

    March 13, 2022 at 10:21 pm

    Gioconda, smirking at the joke someone texted to her phone.

  4. 4.

    Kent

    March 13, 2022 at 10:21 pm

    According to Wikipedia:

    A 2018 study of news reports showed that there were 259 selfie deaths in 137 incidents reported globally between October 2011 and November 2017, with the highest occurrences in India, followed by Russia, United States, and Pakistan. The mean age was 23 years old, with male deaths outnumbering female about three to one

    More people die from selfies than sharks.

  5. 5.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 13, 2022 at 10:22 pm

    @Kent: Hold my beer.

  6. 6.

    trollhattan

    March 13, 2022 at 10:23 pm

    @Kent:

    Selfies and booze and cliffs, bad combo, kids.

    OTOH sharks taking selfies would be all kinds of awesome.

  7. 7.

    Barbara

    March 13, 2022 at 10:24 pm

    I did take a funny picture in the Rodin Museum of people checking their phones in front of a life sized statue of a couple locked in a passionate embrace. Just sort of highlighted for me the limits of art in the modern world.

  8. 8.

    Ken

    March 13, 2022 at 10:25 pm

    @trollhattan: Unusually, any two of them together are about as dangerous as the three-way combo.

  9. 9.

    bbleh

    March 13, 2022 at 10:28 pm

    Mona Lisa with her enigmatic smile and her phone tilted so you just barely can’t see what’s on it.

    Dali’s Persistence of Memory but with melted smartphones.

    The Discoboulos turning because he just heard a message tone.

    … seriously these would make MUCH better NFTs than a bunch of ugly monkey cartoons.

  10. 10.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 13, 2022 at 10:35 pm

    Several years ago, in late October, there was a terrific New Yorker cover: tiny children in witch and pirate and princess costumes all running up to a big house for their treats, while their parents all hovered around the fringes, staring at their phones, which shone ghostly blue reflections on their faces. Put the spookiness where it properly belonged.

    ETA: And I’m pretty sure at some point there was a cover which had Eustace Tilley gazing at a smartphone (rather than the traditional butterfly) through his monocle.

  11. 11.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    March 13, 2022 at 10:36 pm

    @Kent:

    Jaws, but the phones are alive and evil and kill people

  12. 12.

    delk

    March 13, 2022 at 10:37 pm

    Cici n’est pas une iPhone

  13. 13.

    prostratedragon

    March 13, 2022 at 10:37 pm

    @bbleh:  That Dali sounds choice.  Maybe The Fragility of Memory?

  14. 14.

    Ken

    March 13, 2022 at 10:40 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Similar to the opening of the zom-rom-com Warm Bodies, with an airport full of people all staring vacantly at their phones as they wander around, which smoothly transitions to an airport full of zombies staring vacantly at nothing as they wander around.

  15. 15.

    NotMax

    March 13, 2022 at 10:43 pm

    Statue of David snapping a selfie you know where.

    :)

  16. 16.

    scav

    March 13, 2022 at 10:47 pm

    Recreate Stonehenge, only with phones.

  17. 17.

    Kropacetic

    March 13, 2022 at 10:49 pm

    @NotMax: Statue of David snapping a selfie you know where.

    Gotta capture that beautiful coiffe, amirite?

  18. 18.

    Jager

    March 13, 2022 at 11:01 pm

    @bbleh:

    Goya’s Naked Maja, taking a selfie

  19. 19.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    March 13, 2022 at 11:10 pm

    Johannes Gumpp

    that’s it. that’s the post

  20. 20.

    Dangerman

    March 13, 2022 at 11:11 pm

    Recently seen on a T Shirt:

    ”It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just I’d unplug your hospital ventilator if I need to charge my phone”

  21. 21.

    prostratedragon

    March 13, 2022 at 11:20 pm

    The Moai … can’t … go on …

  22. 22.

    Kalakal

    March 13, 2022 at 11:23 pm

    2001 – My god, it’s full of tweets

  23. 23.

    JWR

    March 13, 2022 at 11:32 pm

    I was thinking maybe I could put my limited artistic Art talents to work, then Googled “Mona Lisa with cell phone” and found out there’s loads of Mona Lisa selfies out there.

    But I once did some fun image manipulation for a friend’s online bookstore. I remember replacing the heads of the folks in Delacroix’s Liberty Leading the People with his favorite authors, (James Joyce, etc.), with others holding up signs with the bookstore’s name. That was a lotta fun! Easy, too, though time consuming.

  24. 24.

    Scamp Dog

    March 13, 2022 at 11:32 pm

    @Kent: let’s do some calculating…

    …there were 259 selfie deaths in 137 incidents…

    That’s almost 2 deaths per incident!

  25. 25.

    HumboldtBlue

    March 13, 2022 at 11:35 pm

    Oh, and Uhtred son of Uhtred is back for season 5.

  26. 26.

    Misterpuff

    March 14, 2022 at 12:42 am

    @Kalakal: THE DAWN OF MAN

    Apes circle giant black monolith, charge and bare teeth at it. One finally approaches and touches it.

    IT LIGHTS UP AND PLAYS Thus Spake Zarathustra ringtone.

  27. 27.

    Ken

    March 14, 2022 at 6:59 am

    @Kalakal: The monolith’s dimensions were in a 1:4:9 ratio, which is similar to that of a phone. Interesting coincidence(?).

  28. 28.

    S. Cerevisiae

    March 14, 2022 at 1:43 pm

    @Ken:  yeah, but mine has never opened up a star gate yet, I haz disappoint…

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