The clearest indication that Trump's social media platform is failing is that Twitter is not full of folks screenshotting crazy things from it, farming for outrage and retweets. Even Parler had more traction. https://t.co/NE3XTiJsLx
— Yair Rosenberg (@Yair_Rosenberg) March 30, 2022
A Trump venture that underperforms? Perish the thought. https://t.co/Hkksx8kCXP
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) March 30, 2022
A little light TFG-abuse to start off the weekend. Dave Roth, at Defector, always a fun read:
It is easy enough to imagine what Donald Trump’s customized personal hell might be like, and not just because there is already so much footage of it available. His hell would be one of his 2020 rallies, the ones in which he vamped and barked and drawled through distended 140-minute recitations of whatever was on cable news earlier that day. He did that in packed and distressingly humid Sun Belt convention centers while gleaming like a joint of char siu pork and he did it while swaddled in heroic overcoats on wind-blasted Great Plains airstrips. There was one where he brought up the rapper Lil Pump, whom he called Little Pimp; sometimes he would do a strange little mince-and-pump dance afterwards to The Village People’s “Macho Man.” Footage of him doing that was something like his campaign’s closing argument, in the election that he and many other people still can’t quite admit that he lost. Recently, after a rally in the town of Commerce, Georgia, he did it again.
Trump’s own hell is exactly that kind of event, except he is not onstage. In that hell, Trump can only stand there with everyone else, looking up at some other heedless wealthy man as he tells odd dilatory anecdotes about his own amazing success and nasty unfair enemies, or burps up half-digested chunks of cable news gristle. In that hell, Trump is instead stuck with the lumpen aspirants and stans, with their t-shirts and impacted opinions, stuck clapping and whooping whenever the big man in charge pauses to let them do it. In that hell Trump is consigned to the audience, cheek by jowl with swirly-eyed diehards who, but for their TV-watching habits or load-bearing personality disorders or some other unhappy demographic accident, might have been Parrotheads a tick or two too predatory or aggrieved or otherwise un-chill to really fit into the community.
But that is hell, and where Trump is now—definitively out of office, flitting through a gilded house arrest of his own making at various golf clubs bearing his name, banned from any social media site big enough for him to want to be on it—is much more like purgatory. He is still blithely sending to voicemail the consequences that he’s avoided for his entire life. The bet on which his entire being hinges, which is that someone born like him can pretty much do whatever he wants at all times without repercussion, is still very much in play. Breathtaking amounts of money, billed by the hour, and a quietly heartbreaking sum of (other people’s) labor and time are committed every day to maintaining this uneasy stalemate. As purgatories go, it is both luxurious and extremely high-maintenance.
Still, a well-appointed purgatory is no less purgatorial. Trump is swaddled in the high-thread-count luxury to which he has become accustomed, and surrounded by supplicants and greasy underlings in the ways he likes to be, but he is not really in the public eye anymore. Every now and then he calls into his favorite cable shows and does that thing he does where he kind of free-associates about the four or five things he cares about for nine consecutive chorus-free minutes like a septuagenarian RXK Nephew, which is mostly what he did as president but which no longer moves markets or even really makes news. He is banned from the social media sites that made him, and the janky fake Twitter that his people have made for him is so unwieldy and unpopular that he can’t bear to be associated with it. When he shows up on one of the lower-rung juche networks, he looks uncanny and medicated. The vibe is that of an infomercial advertising exquisite commemorative plates not sold in any store…
This is the purgatory made especially for this man, who needs more than anything else to be seen and heard. Trump is free to golf all day and watch his favorite TV friends endlessly ask and refuse to answer the question What Is Going On, and he gets all the steam-table beef flaps he can eat and all the selfie requests from psychotic realtors he can stand. But, and here is the purgatorial taunt in it, when Trump powerfully strokes a hole-in-one on a 181-yard par-three, blasting a five-iron that sailed magnificently through a very strong wind, he has to dictate the official statement to some aide for anyone to know about it, and then the aide has to push it out on a website, and then someone else has to notice that there has been an official statement from The 45th President Of The United States to that effect…
But because Trump is lucky enough to be in purgatory, this shot quite probably went in, and then it took days for anyone even to register him crowing about it, and when they noticed they mostly thought “huh” or “what a strange man.” It could be worse, but that is the fundamental fact of purgatory. In lieu of punishment, his stupid little triumphs are now his alone, and insignificant. Not quite hell, then, but not far off the green.
Alison Rose ???
there has never been greater schadenfreude
Ivan X
That was truly beautiful. I had to wipe away a little tear.
zhena gogolia
It is an indelible stain on this country that he was ever President
lashonharangue
@Alison Rose ???:
Yes but is “Peak Schadenfreude” a myth?
lollipopguild
When he was president he was both the most powerful person on the planet(nukes) and the most picked on and victimized person on the planet. He bragged non-stop how smart, good looking and talented he was and in the same breath whined endlessly about how mean everybody was to him. Maybe eternity in hell awaits him.
Alison Rose ???
@lashonharangue: With this GOP, probably
SiubhanDuinne
That was a thing of beauty.
Did TFG really call Lil Pump “Little Pimp”? Hahaha. (Have never heard of Lil Pump, but it’s still funny.)
burnspbesq
Fani Willis is going to give Trump what he deserves. If Garland wants to pile on, so much the better.
The most delicious part is that a racist, misogynistic pig is going to be taken down by an African-American woman
debbie
Trump’s downward slide continues. Good, gives room for an appreciation of school librarians:
cmorenc
Trump has lived the optimal life for a narcissistic sociopath:
– ample wealth to indulge doing whatever you want
– insolation from consequences or responsibility for your actions
– ample supply of flattering admiters wishing they could be like you
SiubhanDuinne
Oh, before the thread gets too clotted, a reminder for anyone who’s interested that Joy Reid is interviewing MVP Kamala Harris on her show. Don’t know what time the interview itself starts, but the program (MSNBC) begins in 15 minutes — 7:00pm Eastern.
Mai Naem mobile
This is really well written. I still can’t believe this loser became POTUS. It still sounds like a bad bad attempt at a black comedy.
debbie
@burnspbesq:
There can be no such thing as too much piling on.
Baud
@Mai Naem mobile:
Do I really have to remind you about her emails?
debbie
@cmorenc:
I hope it crosses TFG’s mind at some point that his admirers are probably just as honest as Putin’s advisors have been.
Geminid
Last Saturday evening I was skimming around Twitter for reporting on trump’s Cummings, Georgia rally. One of the better tweets:
Another wag posted a picture of Joe Biden in his convertible. Joe was pointing at the viewer, with shades on and a big smile. The caption above read, “Hi, I’m Brandon.” The one below read, “I’m the Guy who Kicked Trump’s Ass in 2020.”
zhena gogolia
BTW I don’t think I’ll ever eat char siu again
Splitting Image
I almost admire Trump’s efforts to reclaim the Village People’s music for straight white reactionaries. It may be the most ambitious, courageous, and dare I say fabulous thing that that troglodyte has ever done.
As doomed to failure as everything else he ever did, true, but fabulous none the less.
JoyceH
I do SO want Trump to get what he deserves, indictment, conviction and imprisonment. But in the meantime, it is some consolation to know that he despises the people who adore him, and the people he wants to adore him despise him.
lollipopguild
@debbie: That will never happen. He is incapable of ever having a real doubt about anything. It’s learned behavior and once learned and successful nothing short of a lightning bolt from God will change him.
Ken
… and the caddy, he turned to me with tears in his eyes, and he said ‘Sir…
Oh, and the drop-off in registration for his site coincides with the new Russia sanctions. Just mentioning that as a fact, draw your own inferences.
Roger Moore
@debbie:
He is the kind of person he is largely because he is incapable of thinking of that kind of thing. If he receives praise, it must be deserved. If he receives criticism, it must be because he’s so great other people want to tear him down. That the praise could be fake and the criticism deserved is literally unthinkable for him.
David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch
Greatest Final-Four eavh assembled is about to tip off:
South Carolina’s Gangstas vs Louisville’s Blues Brothers
UCONN’s Dandies vs Stanford’s Three Headed MonsterK
Uncle Cosmo
@cmorenc: Ummm…
Insolation is a completely valid (if somewhat obscure) English word, but means something quite different from what you intended. (Ran across it often in the context of atmospheric modeling.)
Baud
@lollipopguild:
It happened once for a brief second.
Hoppie
A fair afterlife is living it as you expect for others.
A libertarian’s afterlife is a shopping mall parking lot two days before Christmas (hat tip Jack Chalker).
Benw
Dave Roth is always on point. Even moreso since he dropped the “Lee.” His analysis of the TFG years while writing at Deadspin (RIP) were breathtakingly brutal.
zhena gogolia
Posted this earlier, but seems appropriate here. TFG’s April Fool:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqjtgVFxp4Y
zhena gogolia
@Baud: If you read Mary Trump’s book, it happened a lot when his father was psychologically abusing the children and his mother. He just learned early on to become the abuser.
mrmoshpotato
@debbie:
Not gonna happen, because the Rethuglican base isn’t acting like it’s white trash, it is white trash.
eclare
“Load-bearing personality disorder.” I am so stealing that.
Steeplejack
“Load-bearing personality disorders” was ???.
Baud
@zhena gogolia:
I didn’t, but it’s pretty apparent. It’s like how a lot of child molesters were molested as children.
Steeplejack
@eclare: Jinx!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I will count no chickens before their time, but I think there’s a good chance trump(ism) could hurt them in the mid-terms
eclare
@Steeplejack: Great minds and all that!
skerry
The best thing about Trump’s Truth Social App is that Devin Nunes left Congress to run it.
Matt McIrvin
It’s hard for me to enjoy it because there’s still maybe a 60% chance this guy is President again in 2025.
SiubhanDuinne
@zhena gogolia:
Very strong, very powerful.
The Joy Reid interview with VP Harris is good. No news broken so far, and maybe there won’t be, but it’s enjoyable and informative to watch.
germy
Baud
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
During America’s golden years if the 1950s
I hope voters don’t destroy democracy because of a bad year caused by external factors.
Alison Rose ???
@SiubhanDuinne: I want to know his other hip-hop misnomers. Megan the Pony? Little Nose X? Nicki Mirage?
Steeplejack
@debbie:
Wonderful.
germy
@Alison Rose ???:
M&M
Ruckus
@Ivan X:
I hope you were crying from laughing to hard.
I mean sure we are all crying a bit because we had to attempt to live through his taking a public dumb on the country every time he opened his McDs hole but him suffering is just icing on the shit cake.
eclare
@Alison Rose ???: Hahaha….
Ruckus
@lollipopguild:
Maybe eternity in hell awaits him.
Personally I think that is way, waaaay too good for him.
eclare
@debbie: Suddenly it’s dusty. I don’t remember my elementary school librarian, but I definitely remember the one at the neighborhood library. She had a great librarian name: Mrs. Longfellow.
Baud
@Alison Rose ???:
Snoopy Dog.
trollhattan
Best covid-related news seen in ages.
eclare
@Alison Rose ???: Ice Tray
Mike in NC
Just before the election I caught a clip of the Fat Orange Clown at a rally, where he sort of danced to “YMCA” by The Village People on stage with a demented smirk on his bloated face. Nobody ever accused Trump of having any dignity.
Alison Rose ???
@germy: Nah, that would be Tucker.
hells littlest angel
@Splitting Image:As doomed to failure as everything else he ever did …
Well, you can’t always get what you want.
SiubhanDuinne
@Alison Rose ???:
Snoopy Dog?
ETA: GodDAMMIT, Baud!!
Alison Rose ???
@eclare: Second Chains.
He learned that one after his Biblical gaffe.
eclare
@Mike in NC: And he always keeps punching the air with his teeny tiny fists. It’s bizarre.
eclare
@Alison Rose ???: You win the internet today!
NotMax
The Bizarro Douglass.
“People are hearing about him less and less.”
//
Geminid
@Matt McIrvin: I’m not sure that trump has a 60% chance of winning the Republican nomination in 2024.
If he does, I think that Joe Biden is right when he says that he would be fortunate to face “that person” in the next Presidential election.
germy
Baud
@Geminid:
Let it be. That’s optimistic for Matt.
NotMax
@Alsion Rose
The Notorious YOOGE?
//
Geminid
@Baud: Ok. I don’t want to be picking on someone. Especially since I’m a Matt too.
I wouldn’t want to cause a Matt-astrophe.
CaseyL
Devin Nunes – nothing so became his time in Congress as the method and outcome of his leaving it.
eclare
@NotMax: If he has a misnomer for Biggie, gotta have one for Tupac. Tupperware?
TonyG
I wonder whether Donald Trump has done anything in his life that has not been a total failure?
Dorothy A. Winsor
@Splitting Image: The music he used that really puzzled me was the Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” Why would he go onstage to that? What would the message be?
StringOnAStick
Tales from covidiots file: a friend’s boss just turned down a free trip to Spain and the Canary islands because they refuse to get an mRNA vaccine. They’ve been holding out for Novavax to be approved since that’s a standard vaccine platform, but apparently mRNA is a tool of the debil his ownself. The same boss nearly died of Covid last year and was saved by the monoclonal antibody drug infusion (can’t remember the drug name), which as I recall was also new with little history.
Professor Bigfoot
@eclare:
Second Pac?
eclare
@StringOnAStick: Wow. And here I sit, all vaxxed up, and no one is offering me a free vacay.
:::Pout:::
eclare
@Professor Bigfoot: That’s better!
germy
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
Maybe he likes this part of the song:
NotMax
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
What Ivanka uses to sing him to sleep?
(Ewww.)
eclare
@NotMax: Brain bleach!
zhena gogolia
I want to thank the BJ community. You all alerted me to the beginning of Ramadan this morning, so I wished a student a happy Ramadan today and she said I was the only professor who had ever done that. It made me cry.
Baud
This is… unexpected.
Baud
@zhena gogolia:
?
eclare
@zhena gogolia: How sweet! I would have cried too.
StringOnAStick
@eclare: My friend is meeting a friend in order to “drink away the stupid”.
This brings up something I haven’t heard about though, that maybe hardcore R idiots who won’t get a Pfizer or Moderna might be willing to get Novavax because it isn’t mRNA? Is that worth pursuing in order to get more people vaccinated, even if Novavax isn’t as efficacious as Pfizer or Moderna? I’m at the “to hell with any antivaxxer” stage in my thinking, but if I put on my rational thinker of the greatest public good hat, is it that many people who would get Novavax? I haven’t heard about that vaccine and it’s progress through FDA approval for a long time now, and maybe that’s why the antivaxxers who need cover from being thought an idiot are clinging to the idea of an approval that may never come.
Booger
@Geminid: Hey, off topic, but do I recall you live in Green County? I drove through there today on the way from Stanardsville to Crozet and my god, it’s beautiful! I’d never been through there in six decades of living in Virginia. Wow.
eclare
@Baud: Reading the article it makes sense.
Ramona Rosario
@JoyceH: I would settle for indictment even if the trial ends with a hung jury.
Baud
@eclare:
Yeah. Who knew? (Probably most jackals.)
eclare
@StringOnAStick: If the mRNA technology is the issue, why not get J&J? That’s what I don’t get. To be fair, I haven’t read much of anything about Novavax, so I don’t know about the differences.
I just know I want the Cadillac of vaccines. First three were Moderna, and I have an appt for Pfizer on Sunday.
Can I haz free vacay now?
West of the Rockies
@Alison Rose ???:
Charlemagne the Dad.
eclare
@Baud: I didn’t know that class of ship was named after pioneers in justice and civil rights.
eclare
@West of the Rockies: Good too!
different-church-lady
Could just be that once Russia got isolated from the world’s economy there just weren’t enough rubles to pay the pros manipulating his numbers up in the first place?
debbie
@zhena gogolia:
? So sweet!
different-church-lady
@zhena gogolia:
No amount of Schadenfreude will ever cleanse it.
Matt McIrvin
@StringOnAStick:
Some have said they would, but I suspect they’d find a reason to move the goalposts.
Ruckus
@TonyG:
No.
SASQ.
dexwood
Fuck tfg. Tired of hearing about him though I know his influence still holds among the redhat idiots. The Orange Stain on America won’t come clean anytime soon.
ETA: Just saw z g’s comment at 3. Beat me to it, should read comments first.
debbie
@TonyG:
He was all over the society pages in the 1980s and early 1990s. There wasn’t much analysis of his activities back then, but he had a reputation for success (probably self-constructed).
Sure Lurkalot
@eclare: Seconded!
Captain C
@TonyG: Well, he’s gotten a shitload of people to pay his luxurious way for pretty much his whole life, despite the fact that he screws over, fucks up, and/or turns to shit everyone and everything he’s involved with. The man couldn’t make money at gambling and football in the USA, for crying out loud!
L85NJGT
@different-church-lady:
His mob nickname should be “Donnie Rubles” forever more.
Miss Bianca
I can only *dream* of being as awesome an invective artist as Dave Roth.
Starfish
Chasten is the best Buttigieg.
Shana
Man I need a cigarette after that prose. Lovely.
Miss Bianca
@Splitting Image: OK, that made me laugh.
Another Scott
(groucho-roll-eyes.gif)
They just make stuff up – they don’t even try.
Cheers,
Scott.
debbie
I know Barack’s spoken up before, but this is his best yet:
debbie
Miss Bianca
@zhena gogolia: awww…..
Starfish
@zhena gogolia: That’s great.
FelonyGovt
Ha ha ha ha
Geminid
@Booger: Yes, I live in Greene County, five miles south of Stanardsville. Depending on your route, you passed a half mile or four miles from my home on your way to Crozet.
Before I found a fortunate home here, I lived in Augusta County, between Waynesboro and Stuart’s Draft. That area may be even prettier than where I live now. I still miss the Valley, especially the people.
debbie
Best Will Smith meme yet.
Baud
@debbie:
I read that as antiquer and was confused about what they would be freaking out about.
luc
Perhaps a social network just can’t thrive if there are exclusively morons participating in it ???
eclare
@Starfish: Awesome!
Baud
@debbie:
Heh. I’m surprised too.
debbie
@Another Scott:
I’ve only driven 2,100 miles since the beginning of the pandemic, so I’m sure I’m dragging down the average a bit. ?
Baud
@luc:
Right. You need both morons and people who are obsessed with making fun of morons.
kalakal
@debbie: That’s superb
debbie
@Baud:
I had to look twice too. I guess hyphens were running short at the time of the tweet.
Starfish
@Baud: That is exactly why it did not catch on. What fun is it for people to say they believe in something completely stupid when everyone just agrees with them.
eclare
@debbie: Hahaha…
MagdaInBlack
@Starfish: Nice ! ?
Another Scott
@debbie: Nice.
Thanks.
Cheers,
Scott.
Booger
@Geminid: I thought Rappahannock co. Was something (which it is) but the greater distance from NoVa really seems to make Green shine. Well done, and i get missing the valley!
zhena gogolia
@Baud: Me too!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@debbie: I love it. I hope BHO is going all NFLTG
David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch
@Baud: In related news, the Pentagon announced it will name a urinal after Dump.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Geminid:
@Baud:
I don’t know how you guys can remain so optimistic in the face of all the bullshit. Reading a reddit thread about that Florida “Don’t Say Gay Bill” really depressed me. It’s not just about being anti-LGBT+, it’s an attempt to also bankrupt the public education system to replace it with charter schools and create an uneducated underclass that’s easily manipulatable:
It doesn’t matter if what these people believe is nonsensical BS, they’re primed to think they’re fighting for their lives and way of life and they’re highly motivated and mobilized to vote because of it. A bunch of other states are considering similar legislation. The SCOTUS isn’t going to stop them. Who’s going to stop them? The constitutional structure of the US combined with demographic changes a la the Big Sort along with anti-democratic sentiment is going to ensure minority rule. I see opportunities for myself just going up in smoke because society is going to self-destruct because of these types of laws. It just seems like everything’s going to hell and there’s nothing I or anyone else can do about it. I’m trapped here and I can’t escape because I don’t have the skills other countries I’d consider moving to wan
ETA: I’m sorry for being such a downer, guys. I’m just not feeling good right now
SFAW
@burnspbesq:
I will make you a bet that I truly hope to lose:
I will bet you two six-packs of your favorite beer* that TFG never spends a day in jail, nor convicted of anything, as a result of the esteemed Ms. Willis’s efforts.
There ain’t a jury in the land who would convict that traitorous, possibly-treasonous mofo of anything more than jaywalking.
As I said, I truly hope to lose that bet, and would gladly send you the mentioned amount. But my assessment of the jury pool is somewhat less optimistic than yours.
** NB: If you are not a drinker, beer or otherwise, I will gladly substitute something appropriate.
Sister Golden Bear
As he banned trans girls and women from sports Arizona’s governor refused to say whether trans people even exists.
This is exactly the sort of memory-holing I’ve talked about when I’ve warned that the haters want to eradicate trans people from public life.
Alison Rose ???
@eclare: WOOHOO!!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@SFAW:
My skepticism on that score is different from yours– I don’t think trump will ever be brought before a jury. But I do appreciate the rare fellow traveller who remembers that there’s a great deal more to the criminal justice system than prosecutors, from the state to federal level, having ballz!
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Sister Golden Bear:
I’m so sorry this shit is happening
Omnes Omnibus
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): I bet countries want nurses.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Omnes Omnibus:
I graduated over two years ago, never got licensure, realized I didn’t really enjoy it with the benefit of hindsight, and I was never that good at it; I was always a nervous wreck during clinicals
Enhanced Voting Techniques
Trump is issuing official ex-Presidential statements about his golf scores? ROFL
Poe Larity
Oh, I thought this might be a thread on clanking replicators and niche sci-fi stories. Never mind.
geg6
@eclare:
He does the white boy overbite when he dances, too. It’s horrifying and hilarious all at once.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@geg6:
I saw some bizarre video posted by a right-winger on Facebook that shows Pelosi unveiling a statue in Congress (I think) with the caption “Wait for it”. And when the cloth is removed it’s Trump doing that same stupid dance.
I don’t get it. Do they consider that “owning the libs”? It’s bizarre and lame
caring & sensitive
For those who don’t subscribe to Defector the best comment was “I believe “it went CLANK in the hole” is a partial transcript of the Stormy Daniels deposition.”
Mike in NC
I thought I read that Rep.Ted Lieu has proposed a bill where nothing in the US government would ever be named after the Fat Orange Clown. Updates?
Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes
@geg6:
I feel attacked here…..
I tend to do that.
?
eclare
@caring & sensitive: Ewwww!
Ruckus
@eclare:
The air doesn’t punch back.
Everything else does.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Ruckus:
LOL
eclare
@Ruckus: Good point.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@eclare:
Y’know the hilarious bit? Trump probably thinks he was hot shit dancing like that. Let that sink in lmao
eclare
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): I have no doubt.
Ruckus
@debbie:
It was.
SFB started with enough money to make most humans very happy and all he had to do was invest it and he’d have been a hell of a lot wealthier than he really is. But no, he had to show that none of his bullshit was fake. And all he proved was that all of it was. But you can convince some people of anything if polish bullshit to a high enough sheen. And he was willing to polish to that level. It was and is his only skill. Unfortunately for most of us there are far too many people that think polished bullshit is as good as it gets.
eclare
@Ruckus: From what I’ve read, as a guy from Queens, he was desperate to be accepted in Manhattan. The elite there always saw through him.
MisterForkbeard
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Yes. They believe making things up owns the libs. And this makes some sense, because their “libs” are pretty much imaginary anyway.
Morzer
This is quite a story:
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2022/apr/01/hope-solo-arrested-dwi-misdemeanor-child-abuse
Trine
@Booger: BJrs in *my* Christian town?!
?? from this C’ville townie!
SFAW
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
I wasn’t addressing whether I think he’ll ever go to trial — I think it’s (a wildly optimistic) 50-50 at best — I was merely addressing the bold/unwise statement that That Fucking Guy “is going to be taken down” by the Fulton County AG. “Taken down,” to me, means he actually suffers consequences. I think that’s less likely than the Jets winning the next Super Bowl.
But as I said: it’s a bet I would love to lose.