I’m still crazed, so posting remains a challenge, but my even-more-magpie-like-than-me older brother tossed these over the transom just now, and it struck me as jackal bait.
Did you hear that Leo Tolstoy’s novel, ‘War and Peace,’ has been renamed? It’s now called ‘Special Operation and High Treason.’
Putin is dead and after burning in hell for a time, they decide to release him and he comes back to Earth. He finds himself on a street in Moscow and walks into a bar. He orders a vodka and asks the bartender a question: “Does Crimea still belong to us?” “Yes,” the bartender answers. “How about Donbas, Kyiv and the rest of Ukraine?” “All still part of Russia,” the bartender answers. Satisfied, Putin finishes his drink and he asks the bartender, “How much do I owe you?” The bartender says, “Five euros.”
I’ve heard that one thing bullies and autocrats really hate is ridicule. So enjoy–share more such jibes if you’ve got ’em–and have some open thread.
Image: Joos van Craesbeeck, Portrait of a man clasping a drink, between 1635 and 1661.
zhena gogolia
I am not always a fan of Masha Gessen, but she is spot-on here and really schools Village idiot Brian Stelter. A must-watch 2 minutes.
https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1516827186069704709?cxt=HHwWisC4tcGS7YwqAAAA
Doc Sardonic
The facial expression of the artist’s subject makes me think we are about one frame from a 17th century spit take.
Ishiyama
Here’s something from Ukrinform:
Elizabelle
I like that joke.
Roger Moore
@zhena gogolia:
At least the idiot is starting to wrap his head around the idea that reporting might need to be more than just repeating both sides. Now if only he could think about applying the same idea to American politics…
Emma from Miami
@Ishiyama: Am I the only one getting the idea that the trickster god is pissed at Putin?
trollhattan
Think this is good news, but how it changes the Mariupol siege I can’t possibly guess.
Elizabelle
@zhena gogolia: That is fabulous.
Journalism 101 rules, per Stelter. Both sides!
zhena gogolia
@Elizabelle: I love when she says, “That’s not Journalism 101.”
trollhattan
@Ishiyama:
Pics of some of the loot.
?? Ukraine Weapons Tracker on Twitter: “#Ukraine: An interesting seizure by the SBU in #Kharkiv was announced- not from Russian forces, but from weapons smugglers. Quantities of tank engines (60 claimed), vehicle parts and R-73 & R-27R A2A missiles (26 claimed) were found. These were all stolen from UA stocks. https://t.co/Vux02QGIsM” / Twitter
Mike in NC
Per USA Today, Governor DeathSentence is escalating his war with Disney! He wants the legislature to repeal some law passed in 1967 that allows the company to operate “self-government” on its properties.
Maybe Disney can decide to charge Florida residents twice what other park attendees pay.
Ishiyama
@Emma from Miami: Well, trickster gods notoriously don’t get pissed, they get even (and then some). How the Camel got his Hump was my early introduction to the breed.
zhena gogolia
@Mike in NC: I’d love to see Disney just pull up stakes from his shithole state.
Alison Rose ???
@zhena gogolia: Glorious.
(Just FYI, Masha is they/them)
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Mike in NC: he vowed the other day that the state of Florida was going to involve itself in the internal conduct of Twitter, Inc, for some reason
apparently he thinks there’s great electoral appeal in abusing state power on behalf of a billionaire weirdo, and in a GOP primary, he may be right. I’ve been waiting for Normies everywhere to see this as not just abusive overreach, but fucking nuts, for years.
zhena gogolia
@Alison Rose ???: Sorry, forgot.
Betty
@Ishiyama: I was just wondering about collaborators, especially ones that might target Zelensky or his family. I was hoping they were very few, but.. humans.
JoyceH
On a previous open thread, I posted about my cat with the inappropriate peeing problem. Someone here suggested Zylkene, and I got some of that and have been sprinkling it on the cat food. Would like to hear from whoever suggested it or anyone else with experience with it, how long does it take to work, etc? I’ve been sprinkling the contents of one capsule on the canned cat food, and that might not be enough because both cats eat from the same bowl. I figured that would be fine, since Liam probably could use some calming as well.
Last night we had another pee on the bed incident, and I blame Liam (though Abby was the pee-er), since he instigated a fight with her earlier. Not a rear up and flash paws fight, but a old fashioned roll on the floor squalling donnybrook. I think the basic issue is that my now-combined pet household includes two cats with very dominant personalities. And Liam is a lot bigger, so Abby loses their confrontations – and then goes and pees where she shouldn’t. I already have a Feliway diffuser. Any other thoughts/suggestions?
prostratedragon
Wouldn’t recommend trying to get that drink from that dude.
trollhattan
Republican Prion Disease™ flourishing in Colorado.
dmsilev
@trollhattan: The Confederacy had a general named, and I’m not making this up, States’ Rights Gist.
History repeats as farce, I guess.
schrodingers_cat
@zhena gogolia: Good for Masha!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
since it’s a thread about poking fun at fascists:
Angry retiree
sends soup back to kitchenscreams obscenities at airline employee about delayJet Blue? Has he had to pay off assault victims we don’t know about? Did his ex-wife have pictures of something?
Cameron
@Mike in NC: Florida Senate did his bidding today; now on to House, where it will also probably be rubber-stamped. Gonna be a thrilla and a chilla – Big Rat in Tallahassee vs. Big Mouse in Orlando.
Bupalos
@zhena gogolia: Why would you possibly not always be a fan?
NotMax
@trollhattan
Still time for me to establish residency and run as Not “Williams is a nutcase” Max?
:)
NotMax
@Mike in NC
Next step, suing Hanna-Barbera for the theme song of The Flintstones. And also any Florida TV station that doesn’t bleep out the ‘offending’ word.
//
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Elizabelle
@zhena gogolia: I am watching it a third time, because it was so good.
At one point, Stelter does not respond to her point and she asks “do you not have sound?”
Love the no deference to idiotic questions (in fairness to Stelter, perhaps from the producers). I was wishing the camera was on him more often. Early on, you can see the wariness in his eyes: “This one is a tiger. Be careful.”
lollipopguild
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Just imagine the butthurt screams from the right if a democratic gov was doing what desantis is doing.
Dangerman
You want grim and funny? I just invested in a ball tanner salon. I thought it was Bull Tannen and it was some weird Back to the Future tribute, but, no.
Roger Moore
@Mike in NC:
The really wild thing about the drive to repeal Disney’s special district is that it would probably hurt the other residents of the area, not Disney. Right now, there’s a special government district that covers Disney’s properties that pays for all kinds of extra amenities and upgrades, but it’s paid for by taxes on Disney (and I assume park goers). If the district is eliminated, that doesn’t eliminate its debts, which would be assumed by the county. So eliminating the special district would wind up saddling county residents with debt service for a bunch of stuff that was done for (and previously paid by) Disney.
lollipopguild
@NotMax: “Now we don our gay apparel ” at Christmas.
lollipopguild
@Roger Moore: I have seen reports that the current debt is $1 billion dollars.
MazeDancer
Liked the five euros joke, a lot.
Here is a visual joke that is hard to fathom. It is a NewsMax screenshot with the chyron: “Left Considers Black Conservatives to be Traitors”.
https://twitter.com/jasonscampbell/status/1516751349337268227?s=21
The line-up of noted Black people:
Sheriff David Clark, Herman Cain, Ben Shapiro, and Ben Carson.
Of the still breathing bros in that line-up, not sure Ben will be happy to be called Black, though, no doubt, he will say he is. Does he even claim to have ever been Jewish?
Brachiator
@dmsilev:
When he died in battle the person who shot him said, “I wasn’t sure at first, but I think I got the Gist of it.”
Barbara
@Mike in NC: I am assuming the original act was intended to segregate Disney property from surrounding community because the property is used for such a disparate and unique purpose. Considering that these people operate at a normal level of functioning close to brain death it’s not surprising that they failed to consider that the special district status had at least as much benefit for the surrounding community as it did for Disney.
Cameron
@MazeDancer: Which Ben are you referring to?
Doc Sardonic
@Roger Moore: There will be pushback from both Orange and Osceola counties, because their budgets will not handle the extra expenditures that this is going to open up. Not to mention that the Mouse will probably be more than happy to continue to provide the manpower, facilities and services and in turn bill both counties at the going rate.
Betty Cracker
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
You and me both, Jim. Good Christ, what else does he have to do? Nuke the fucking manatees?
NotMax
@lollipopguild
Also too, USPS still selling Marvin Gaye stamps. Was offered some only the other day when popped in to pick up some stamps.
Central Planning
@zhena gogolia: I would like to watch that clip, but the video just spins and never starts. Thanks, Elon.
It’s not me (famous last words) – other clips play fine.
pluky
@Elizabelle: Masha Gessen does not suffer fools.
Martin
@zhena gogolia: That wasn’t humiliating enough to stick with Stelter. Masha needs to dig deeper next time she runs up against that astonishing level of incompetence from someone with a national platform.
NotMax
@Betty Cracker
Wrong mammal.
:)
Taken4Granite
@trollhattan: Back in the 1990s some dude who thought that the office of lieutenant governor should be abolished had his name legally changed to Absolutely Nobody and ran for the office on that platform.
But I have to give Mr. Nobody more respect than this Colorado guy. Having your name legally changed takes a fair amount of effort and has a substantial lasting effect on your life.
Martin
@Mike in NC: Chapek has apparently decided he likes the abuse, so the abuse will continue. Shareholders are starting to get off the train.
Anyway
@Central Planning:
I watched it – no problem here
Comrade Bukharin
@dmsilev: Gist was also a Harvard Law graduate. Maybe the Josh Hawley of his day.
Bupalos
If anyone tells those jokes though Jon Mearsheimer will work up a detailed analysis on how that will force Putin to nuke Greece.
Betty Cracker
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: She was raised in an anti-gay cult and claimed to have risen above her bad upbringing to win a Democratic seat. I guess that was a big fat lie.
Josie
@Central Planning:
Same here.
scav
DeSantis telling off the Mouse and dictating terms to Twitter. Flobalob and Rees-Mogg issuing ukases to the CofE and God over the morality and lies. Traditional Conservative reverence for business and religion strides ever onward.
Uncle Cosmo
@Ishiyama:
I ran across that in a copy of the GIs United Against The War newsletter we civilians used to hand out at the gates to Fort Holabird in Baltimore during the early 70s. Why? Try reading this. (I can’t, Bozos’ friggin’ paywall…)
guachi
@Cameron: The thing about FL vs. Disney is that Disney won’t do anything to push back. FL Republicans know this. Disney knows this. Disney is weak and De Santis knows this.
Betty Cracker
@Martin: I keep hearing how this is going to get bad for DeSantis — and I so want to see it blow up in his stupid face. But so far, WDW seems to be in a defensive crouch.
Ksmiami
@Doc Sardonic: Florida thought it could lure Disney workers from California- hmm now not so much.
Uncle Cosmo
@Central Planning: Same for me, dammit.
Ksmiami
@guachi: they have to. But it’ll be Disney’s ever famous legal team that puts the screws to DeSantis. He’s dead- he just doesn’t know it yet
MazeDancer
Found a stream of Le Debat en Francais. Not that I can understand it. But wanted to feel the energy.
Macron has one of those perfect French voices where “I’m going to empty the garbage” would sound romantic. He seems eager and focussed.
Le Pen is so botoxed, can barely open her lips. Really, botoxed Nazi. She does not seem the least bit charismatic.
But I gave up long ago trying to understand the French.
youtu.be/w7pZ5n9gV0o
catclub
@Central Planning: I got the spinner too.
try thishttps://www.cnn.com/videos/business/2022/04/17/masha-gessen-everything-that-is-on-russian-tv-is-a-lie.cnn/video/playlists/business-russia-ukraine/
Martin
@Betty Cracker: It’s worse than that. Disney said they’d stop donating to FL politicians. If you stop and think about that for even half a second, that threat only works if you only donate to Republicans. So presumably Disney paid for this abuse, and they’re not smart enough to figure out that the best way to protect a few billion dollars invested in FL parks is to carve out a few hundred million dollars from their profits and hand it out to every Democratic challenger in the state.
Even Tesla doesn’t have a CEO this stupid.
Ksmiami
@Betty Cracker: I think the company is going to bring back Iger- Chapek just isn’t the leader that company needs
Betty Cracker
@Ksmiami: I want this to be true but see no evidence of it so far.
Uncle Cosmo
Woulda been funnier if the punch line had been “That’ll be 160 hryvnia” (equivalent to 5 euros). But I’m not complaining…
Betty Cracker
@Martin: I don’t know that anything will change until the Disney talent — the animators, actors, etc. — force action by threatening to walk unless the company has their backs in a meaningful way. That’s what finally got Chapek to pipe up about the Don’t Say Gay law, albeit too late.
Martin
@Ksmiami: Apart from copyright, Disney’s legal team doesn’t really seem to do a lot around politics. They certainly haven’t here in CA. Even at the county level they have surprisingly little pull. It’s not zero, but it’s not what you’d expect.
Doc Sardonic
@Ksmiami: Yep, and all of that was going to directly benefit those to counties and quite possibly have some spill over benefit to Polk and Seminole counties. Interesting also, is the amount of jobs not related to the theme parks, that Disney provides in the construction and building trades area. There are a lot of businesses that exist strictly on their work for WDW, those projects get put on hold or cancelled, a good many people will lose really good jobs.
opiejeanne
@Ksmiami: The two parks are run independently of each other, and the one in Anaheim pays their employees better than the one in Florida.
Doc Sardonic
@opiejeanne: Disneyland has to pay better. Cost of living is vastly different between California and Florida.
Ben Cisco
@MazeDancer:
Clark’s irrelevant, Cain’s dead, Carson might as well be, and…Shapiro? was this a visual Freudian joke?
trollhattan
Hey, we might have our very own Los Pollos Hermanos!
Definitely want to learn more about the blind mechanic.
Doc Sardonic
@Ben Cisco: That might be what got the subject of the painting Tom used.
Bobby Thomson
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: she doesn’t have to pretend not to be a bigot anymore – hopefully some deluded people who thought she was all about peace and love will see the light
narya
@JoyceH: A consult with WereBear? Her Way of Cats blog has options for consults, I think.
Kent
It was farce the first time around too. States rights my ass.
Deputinize Eurasia from the Kuriles to St Petersburg
@Doc Sardonic:
Now Florida will get to send some real yahoo state and county cops to Disney for pride events. Kick the crap out of some people fer bein’ homersechul or colored. Mebbe even BOTH! Yeehah……
Deputinize Eurasia from the Kuriles to St Petersburg
@Uncle Cosmo:
I’d have said it as “80 yuan”.
Eolirin
@Doc Sardonic: The economic effects of this kind of continued mismanagement, despite being staggering, won’t be fully felt until well after DeSantis is no longer governor.
And it probably won’t benefit Democrats either, it’ll just result in more brain drain and less economic opportunities in the state. You end up with a typical failing red state/rural community death spiral. Instead of trying to fix anything they just double down, driving out anyone interested in trying to make things better which only makes it easier for them to go further off the rails.
They can ruin the ability for Disney to run those parks and they probably won’t pay a price for it even as it wreaks havoc on numerous parts of their economy.
Kent
My wife is a Disney park fan. I can’t stand the thought of theme parks. But I did tell her that if all the MAGA filth promised to boycott I might actually go with her next time as that sounds like a more pleasant experience.
Ohio Mom
@JoyceH: I also was going to suggest asking fellow Juicer WereBear. Here is a link to her blog’s “contact me” page: https://www.wayofcats.com/blog/contact
a thousand flouncing lurkers was fidelio
@dmsilev:
Perhaps you’ve never heard of would-be Tennessee state senator and convicted murderer, the late Byron Low-tax Looper
I include the link because otherwise people accuse me of making him up.
opiejeanne
@Doc Sardonic: At the time, comparable housing was available in both places for similar rent.
Ben Cisco
@Doc Sardonic: Good point!
Ksmiami
@opiejeanne: Disney was in the process of relocating the imagineers and other accounting and operations departments to Florida but all this DeSantis crap will put a kibosh on it.
Ksmiami
@Martin: not on the political front, but if Death Santis mucks around with their ability to operate the parks, well let’s just say that’s an entirely different can of worms.
Dan B
@Roger Moore: The counties whose family’s taxes would rise by $2,200 each voted for Biden by 64% and against Death Santa by the same number. For Death Satan it’s a twofer.
JoyceH
@Ohio Mom:
A cat consultant! I’ll have to give that a try. I must admit that I’m skeptical that I can reach a solution, because to be honest, Abby has been a Problem Pee-er all her life.
Doc Sardonic
@Eolirin: Sad but true. Florida has been headed that way for a long time. The spiral started with the end of the Apollo missions and the mothballing of NASA prior to the shuttle program start up. Also, around the same time the agricultural sector started having issues, then when the citrus industry got two devastating freezes in ‘86 and ‘88, the shift to a tourism and service based economy really picked up a head of steam. This is just my section of the state.
zhena gogolia
@Elizabelle: Yeah, “Do you not have sound?” is another great moment.
Tom Levenson
@zhena gogolia: Agreed.
I actually know Masha a little bit, and I can confirm she’s absolutely as no-bullshit as she appears.
gvg
@Mike in NC: The ironic thing to me is IMO that law should never have been passed and I have wanted it repealed for years.
Some 30 years ago The state made certain monies available to counties that wanted to use them for downpayments for mortgages for low income housing, but Disney used this law to grab most of the money for itself and built dormatories for it’s low income workers which were mostly foreign immigrants being underpaid by Disney. Disney could have built them themselves but figured out how to abuse the state laws to snatch low interest money and increase it’s profits. They did that kind of thing frequently.
That law is really wrong. Disney standing up to the so called don’t say gay law is right, but…..it’s never been politically possible to repeal that law. A private corporation just should not have governmental powers.
gvg
@zhena gogolia: I’d rather see deSantis pull up stakes.
For all the issues I have with Disney, they aren’t as evil as the republicans and they don’t have any power over my reproductive rights.
misterpuff
@Barbara: The reason that Disney got the self governing district in place was that Walt wanted to build his initial concept of EPCOT but didn’t want to deal with actual people living in this City of Tomorrow especially voting against Disney’s wishes. Then Walt croaked and the corporation moved forward on the theme park and a “Theme-parkified” EPCOT. This worked out amazingly well for the Company as functioning as a self-governing district gave the Company governmental powers with no real oversight. The worst outcome for the surrounding counties was that they had a growth in low income labor but had to build all sorts of infrastructure to support The Mouse but hardly grew their tax base. It did make Orlando into a major city but at a great cost.
debbie
@Mike in NC:
Doofus doesn’t realize the state would start having to pay for fire departments and other public services for the area which Disney has taken care of.
I’d love to see this raised in his next “news” conference.
Barbara
@misterpuff: Interesting, thanks. As a rule, I think these self-contained districts are a bad idea, but Florida probably accepted the concept because they have a lot of special districts that have governmental powers even though they really operate like private entities (e.g., public hospital districts that operate an awful lot like any other hospital corporation). IIRC, there are some other “Disney Like” districts in Florida. I think the point remains that you create or eliminate them according to whether they serve a public purpose, not because you don’t agree with the political views of the entity.
Betty Cracker
@gvg: I agree it’s a shitty law. It’s just outrageous that DeSantis is using it in such a blatantly authoritarian way. I’m kind of worried more people will fixate on the sweetheart deal WDW had than the authoritarianism.
Dan B
@debbie: The fire department and other expenses will fall to the liberal counties that voted against Death Santa by 64%.
debbie
@Dan B:
Really? I thought Orlando was a very red area. ?
Old School
@Dan B:
Would it affect the results of the next election if it went up to 80%?
Dan B
@Betty Cracker: Authoritarianism is a concept. Having “those people” locked up is protecting “us”. Having groomers locked up makes “our kids” safer. If this applied equally to youth ministers and straight men there would be endless gnashing of teeth and rending of garments.
Dan B
@debbie: From what I’ve read Orange County Fla went 64% for Biden.
I’ve got chores so I’ll leave it to others to fact check.
Dan B
@Old School: Death Santa only won by 18,000 votes but who knows how he would fare as an incumbent.
catclub
I am not as sure. It would be really easy to make “I lost my good job at Disney because DeSantis fucked it up” political ads. with a clear message.
Baud
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
We dodged a bullet!
Baud
@Betty Cracker:
If Desantis thought the law was bad, he would want it repealed for all corporations that benefit from him.
Betty Cracker
Biden won Orange and Osceola Counties pretty handily, IIRC. Jerry Demings, husband of Rep. Val Demings, is mayor of Orlando.
Peale
@Betty Cracker: what’s he trying to accomplish here? Disney does what? Starts to make different movies? Fire it’s gay workers?
catclub
@Kent:
… and kept their promise.
Old School
@Dan B: Looking at the results from 2018, there were 475,719 votes for governor in just Orange County. Shifting from 62.3/36.6 to 75/23 would increase DeSantis’ deficit by 120K votes.
Ben Cisco
@Peale: He wants attention; he’s too stupid to realize that all attention ain’t necessarily GOOD attention.
Old School
@Peale:
I would guess he trying to make Disney stop criticizing him/his policies. And other corporations know to not think about doing so either.
Jeffro
Yup.
“The Utter INSANITY of the Modern GOP” is a theme we can run on all year long, with fresh examples popping up every hour on the hour.
Kay
Kay
This is Communications Workers of America (CWA) too.
Betty Cracker
@Old School: Bingo. I’ve been reading up on how Viktor Orbán smothered democracy in Hungary and consolidated one-party rule, and DeSantis is following that exact playbook.
Baud
@Old School:
Sounds suspiciously like cancel culture.
Uncle Cosmo
@Deputinize Eurasia from the Kuriles to St Petersburg: Equally well played!
Roger Moore
@Peale:
I think the real offense is that Disney stopped donating money to Republicans, and that’s what DeSantis is punishing. If you want the government to treat you decently, you need to pay them off. It’s the worst kind of corruption.
MomSense
This is not a respite link I’m about to share. It’s an interview with Rachel Bitecofer – some hard truth for Democrats about the November elections UNLESS we get busy right now.
https://www.bobcesca.com/the-bob-cesca-interview-rachel-bitecofer-on-the-midterms-4-20-22/
Roger Moore
@Kay:
I’m sure it’s a complete coincidence that this surge in unionization is happening when we have a labor-friendly president appointing members to the NLRB. There couldn’t possibly be a cause and effect relationship.
Gvg
@Betty Cracker: I thought Disney avoided a bunch of taxes through this law too. Having them them pay more taxes could help.
i don’t see why them shedding fire departments would mean the counties got stuck with their bond bill
Kay
@Roger Moore:
Absolutely love it. Couldn’t be happier with Biden about it.
This is “card check” which Democrats tried but could never pass:
Jennifer Abruzzo is general counsel of the NLRB under Biden. She says card check doesn’t require legislation because it’s “reviving a former standard” (true) and has filed a brief. She’s just as bold as could be.
dr. luba
@Uncle Cosmo: That was the version I’d heard several years ago:
Putin is dead and after burning in hell for a time, they decide to release him and he comes back to Earth. He finds himself on a street in Moscow and walks into a bar. He orders a vodka and asks the bartender a question: “Is Crimea still ours?”
“Yes,” the bartender answers.
“How about Donbas, Lviv and Kyiv?”
“Yes, of course,” the bartender answers.
Satisfied, Putin finishes his drink and he asks the bartender, “How much do I owe you?”
The bartender says, “That’ll be 20 hryvni.”
debbie
@Betty Cracker:
This American Life ran a segment last week about the opposition coalition that ran against Orban.
karen marie
@JoyceH: Separating the cats so they cannot go in the other’s space? Cats are very territorial, and it seems these two have not been able to work it out.
karen marie
@Elizabelle: Given Stelter’s clueless response, it’s clearly not “the producers.”
Given where he’s sitting, shouldn’t he beyond what he thinks he learned in “journalism 101”?
Elizabelle
@karen marie: Hey. You are cutting to the chase there.
Um, yeah.
zhena gogolia
@dr. luba: Much better.