Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

People are weird.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

This country desperately needs a functioning Fourth Estate.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

There’s always a light at the end of the frog.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Bad people in a position to do bad things will do bad things because they are bad people. End of story.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Please don’t feed the bears.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Late Night Open Thread: Universal Basic Girlfriends

Late Night Open Thread: Universal Basic Girlfriends

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Post title stolen from the Twitter account of @MenshevickM, because it’s shorter than my own ‘Dudes, the government is *never* gonna assign you the partner you believe you deserve’…

Yet because there’s always something worse on the internet, that wasn’t even the must dubious sex-related grift proposal I was introduced to this week:

Here’s a link to the full Vice Motherboard article, which is — surprise! — NSFW: “‘Sex-to-Earn’ Startup Thinks People Will Fuck for Crypto… SEXN promises to pay you in crypto when you’re having sex—and it’s already making money, even if it hasn’t delivered anything yet.”

Reader Interactions

70Comments

  1. 1.

    LeftCoastYankee

    The inevitable pinnacle of the internet is trading pretend sex for pretend money.

  2. 2.

    lgerard

    users will first buy tiered NFTs that allow them to earn tokens.

    How could this possibly fail?

  8. 8.

    Ruckus

    I have an idea.

    Monetize everything. Turn everything into fake money, monetize it. Monetize fingernail clippings. Monetize breathing. I mean why not, we are monetizing crappy art, hell we are even monetizing actual money – making it into something to bet on for profit. (Yes we already have businesses that do that) Let’s monetize everything because fake money is worth whatever we say it is. We’ll all be rich, what can possibly go wrong?

    Just on the surface I’d say – everyfuckingthing but that might just be me. No, not just me? This might just be my take here but are we going insane with the concept of profit? That everything can be profitable, love, hate, air, BS math, etc, etc? Is this how the world ends, greedy fucks attempt to turn a profit on bullshit? I mean it can be useful for growing stuff but monetize the idea of bullshitting? Well, rethuglicans are trying to politicalize killing for profit, some religions seem to be selling murder for profit, maybe this isn’t as far out there as it seems.

  11. 11.

    Chetan Murthy

    @Ruckus:

    Monetize everything.

    There’s a phrase that some economists use: “Markets in everythng”.  Some use it approvingly, to mean that it’s always a good thing to take some service, good, whatever, and make a market where you can buy and sell it.  Others use it derisively, to express their belief that to do the above, is insane.

    And the latter, of course, are correct.  The axioms, the “givens” of the theorems of free market economics, assume all sorts of things are taken care of *outside* the market.  Like, say, upkeep of the environment.  The raising and education of new workers/consumers-to-be (== “children”).  And lots of other things.  When all that is “marketized”, things fall apart, b/c there isn’t enough money to compensate parents for child-rearing, and who can even *measure* the work done to keep up the natural environment (or the damage done by pollution) ?  It’s all madness.  The axioms require that there be enough untouched natural environment to provide the “ecosystem services” humanity needs to survive, and enough free time for each person (or family unit) to tend to all the various upkeep required to maintain those families.  And I forgot that that applies to communities, too.  There’s no market in civic engagement, and yet civic engagement is critical to the functioning of the polity that will enforce the rule of law that in turn is a necessary precondition of free markets.

    And on and on and on.  These “markets in everything” folks are either knaves or fools.  Just like anybody who’s involved in crypto.

  15. 15.

    Tony Jay

    @lgerard:

    The Plaintiff is seeking redress for, a) denial of contracted coital services, b) extra-contractual redistribution of contracted coital services, c) copyright infringement in use of terms “baby”, “big boy” and “Captain Ameridong” outside of contracted coital service locations”

    What could go wrong?

  16. 16.

    Amir Khalid

    Some biggish news from Malaysia: the government is proposing to eliminate mandatory death penalties. If it goes through with the proposal, which among other things entails Parliament amending the relevant criminal laws, the death penalty will be reduced to a sentencing option for crimes like murder, drug trafficking, rape, kidnapping for ransom, and treason.

    Doesn’t go far enough for me. The death penalty is evil, and I want it completely gone.

  21. 21.

    Baud

    Coitus Mode is for “Condom” NFT holders; users will smash the start button in the app right before sex, and “the app will determine whether you are having sex based on the biometric information from the sensors.” Masturbation Mode only requires users to wear their tracking bracelet, and earns fewer tokens. Sadism & Masochism Mode “was under development due to the latent risk and professional requests,” and requires a “professional entry exam,” according to the site—the details of what the exam entails or how to take it, however, aren’t explained. Super Mode is for marathon sex sessions

    Masturbation Mode is going to bankrupt them.

  23. 23.

    Bruce K in ATH-GR

    @Brachiator:

    This must already be happening in some video game.

    Already? It’s been a game mechanic in the Grand Theft Auto series for … whoa, over twenty years now.

  24. 24.

    Brachiator

    @Amir Khalid: 

    If it goes through with the proposal, which among other things entails Parliament amending the relevant criminal laws, the death penalty will be reduced to a sentencing option for crimes like murder, drug trafficking, rape, kidnapping for ransom, and treason.

    This is great news, especially in a world where governments keep promising to get “tough on crime.”

  27. 27.

    Brachiator

    @Baud:

    Masturbation Mode only requires users to wear their tracking bracelet, and earns fewer tokens.

    I think it might require more than tracking bracelets. To, you know, avoid messy situations.

    Once you combine this with VR glasses, the sky’s the limit.

  29. 29.

    Baud

    @satby: 

    I did. I was i pressed with law enforcement in Idaho. I would have guessed they would have been on the other side.

  30. 30.

    Brachiator

    @satby:

    So, did everyone see that a group of Proud Boys got busted on the way (reportedly) to attack a Pride event in Idaho? 31 down, thousands to go.

    At one news site, there were comments about how this was deliberately staged, how those arrested were really federal agents because they were all in good shape and were allowed to keep their masks on.

    This nonsense is too crazy for words.

  31. 31.

    satby

    @Baud: The bad ones, of which there are many, get all the attention but the good ones take their oath to uphold the law seriously. Kinda like Republicans. Except the bad ones are far and away the majority of Republicans.

  32. 32.

    satby

    @Brachiator: Everything is a false flag to the True Believers.

    Edit: this is concerning:

    Those arrested came from at least 11 states, including Washington, Oregon, Texas, Utah, Colorado, South Dakota, Illinois, Wyoming, Virginia, and Arkansas, White said.

    Only one was from Idaho, he said.

  33. 33.

    Baud

    @satby: 

    Maybe not concerning. Better than if they could recruit that many terrorists from one small wingnut state.

  34. 34.

    Baud

    @satby:

    The good cops are unfortunately going to have their hands full with these fascists for a long time to come.

  35. 35.

    bjacques

    Been hacked. All my girlfriends gone.

    Nothing but rational actors in this market…

  37. 37.

    Geminid

    Jacobin becomes Jokeobin.

    Actually, I’ve called them Jerkobin ever since they published a flimsy hit piece on Stacey Abrams a couple years ago. They saw how her reputation was growing among Democrats., and threatened to overshadow their favorite “Progressive” politicians. So they ran an article that attempted to show that Ms. Abrams isn’t all she is cracked up to be.

    When the author tried to find flaws in her record as Minority Leader in the Georgia legislature, it was slim pickings. So he (of course it was a he) was reduced to arguing that even when she took the right position on legislation, Abrams often justified her vote with pragmatic reasoning.

    This article exemplified Jerkobin’s lousy approach to politics. But at least it was readable, which is more than I could say for most of the turgid crap they put out.

  38. 38.

    Barbara

    @Amir Khalid: ​I’m with you, but this is definitely not the time to make the better the enemy of the best. Making it optional and infrequent is real progress.

  39. 39.

    Ken

    @Ruckus: Let’s monetize everything because fake money is worth whatever we say it is. We’ll all be rich, what can possibly go wrong?

    “Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich. But we have also run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability. So in order to obviate the problem, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and… er, burn down all the forests.”

    — Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Univers

    EDIT: I suddenly wonder, if we monetize sex, what do we do to prevent inflation?

  40. 40.

    Brachiator

    @satby:

    Those arrested came from at least 11 states, including Washington, Oregon, Texas, Utah, Colorado, South Dakota, Illinois, Wyoming, Virginia, and Arkansas, White said.

    Only one was from Idaho, he said.

    Damn  I would like to know how this crap was organized and what they hoped to accomplish.

    I don’t believe in deep conspiracies. But I am curious about apparently clumsy ones. Were other attempts to break up similar events intercepted? These Proud Boys or whoever seem to be too stupid to breathe. Somebody has got their number.

  41. 41.

    Brachiator

    @Ken:

    EDIT: I suddenly wonder, if we monetize sex, what do we do to prevent inflation?

    If you monetize sex, you want some inflation.

  42. 42.

    Geminid

    @Brachiator: These were members of the “Patriot Front,” which the Southern Poverty Law Center says started building on the remnants of groups that attended the Charlottesville Unite the Right rally. The motive may have been to make a show of force that would energize recruiting. I think that was the intent of groups at the Charlottesville rally.

  43. 43.

    Tony Jay

    @Geminid:

    The motive may have been to make a show of force that would energize recruiting.

    Oh, well that went ever so well. I can see mutton-brained failurenauts across the nation looking at this latest  cock-up and thinking “You just wait. This time next year that’ll be me.”

  45. 45.

    Geminid

    @Tony Jay: Somebody called 911 when they saw these goons in a hotel parking lot, loading up in the back of a rented box truck. I guess they thought they would get to club some people at the Pride Rally, but the cops intercepted them. They are charged with conspiracy to riot.

    The Patriot Front did an unannounced march with over a hundred people in DC last year. The uniform was the same as with the Idaho group: khaki pants, blue polo shirts, khaki caps and white neck gaiters. Some of them came in a box truck.

  48. 48.

    Geminid

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: The crypto industry has a loud group of propagandists on social media, including celebrity endorsers. Somebody’s making money, at least enough to buy Superbowl ads.

    It’s a bubble, but then so is Tesla stock. Even after the stock’s recent fall, Tesla’s price-to-earnings ratio was 95 to one. The P/E forToyota stock is 10.5 to one.

  49. 49.

    Tony Jay

    @Geminid:

    “Daddy, what did you do during the White Privilege Wars?”

    “Well, son. I got together with some buddies in the middle of a public carpark and we loaded up our Based Armoury into a hired truck while dressed like creepy preppies.”

    “You get filmed?”

    “Like movie stars, son.”

  50. 50.

    RevRick

    The dirty secret of the Internet is that blogs like this, credit card transactions, the functioning of utilities, and online shopping all require porn and other time wasting diversions. Running the servers that enable all the useful things we depend upon isn’t cheap. Any down time is prohibitively expensive. So, to make all the useful things affordable, vast amounts of the Internet must be dedicated to our addictions, our vanity (Facebook/Instagram), and our general nuttiness.

  52. 52.

    Brachiator

    @Geminid: 

    It’s a bubble, but then so is Tesla stock. Even after the stock’s recent fall, Tesla’s price-to-earnings ratio was 95 to one. The P/E forToyota stock is 10.5 to one.

    Yeah. Tesla has a crazy P/E. I read that Musk is considering a 3 for 1 stock split, to attract more investors, or suckers, depending on how you view the company.

  53. 53.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    We planning to early vote this week, and while getting ready to do that, it dawned on me that I’ve been moved out of Sean Casten’s district into Mike Quigley’s. Both Ds, fortunately. We moved here from Iowa almost 4 years ago. Things could be a lot worse

  54. 54.

    Brachiator

    @RevRick: 

    The dirty secret of the Internet is that blogs like this, credit card transactions, the functioning of utilities, and online shopping all require porn and other time wasting diversions.

    I think you might overstate the impact of porn. I might have guessed that gaming is a bigger contributor, but in any event I would have to say I don’t mind if it helps sustain the Internet.

  55. 55.

    Shalimar

    @Geminid:  One of the reports had a police officer mention that they were spying on the group’s online communication, followed by a quick denial that this had happened. My guess is that police knew about this gathering way before the one informant spotted them loading into the U-Haul.

  56. 56.

    Geminid

    @Shalimar: That’s interesting. The follow up reporting on this incident will be worth checking out. I saw that 31 men were arrested. Local and state media will cover this story..

    An article on last year’s Patriot Front march in DC says that the group used to be Vanguard America. That outfit was at the Charlottesville Unite the Right rally, and Fields, the man who murdered Heather Heyer and injured a dozen others, marched with them. That’s why they reorganized and rebranded.

  58. 58.

    Glidwrith

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:  We were moved from Scott Peterson’s district to Sara Jacobs, also both D. Unfortunately, state level office is now a thug, challenger is a Vietnam vet thug, both of them spewing the usual fascist dog whistle crap. And both are going to be in the general election with no D challengers. Barf.

  59. 59.

    BellyCat

    @RevRick: Spot on.

    Yet one more reason that a legitimate sex worker industry, such as in the Netherlands (which offers safety and health benefits for the workers) will have difficulty gaining traction elsewhere.

    Doubt the pervasive nature of sexuality and online pron? Reportedly, one of the central reasons 3D scanning and printing became so popular so rapidly is that a favorite  gift for one’s spouse/partner was a highly personalized and anatomically correct “accessory” became all the rage for guys being shipped off to the Middle East military operations to give as a gift to their significant others.

  60. 60.

    Geminid

    @Tony G: It could be that Patriot Front organizers are trying to attract working class men with an upscale look. I’ll be interested to see who these goons are, and their employment backgrounds.

    Also, I want to see if they had clubs or other weapons with them. I’ve read that they had shields. It may be the group wasn’t going to attack Pride marchers, but instead stage a countermarch. A leader at the DC made a brief speech where he emphasized that they eere3 pushing their “renew America” message without violence.

    Of course, that’s their public posture; I imagine these goons have plenty of firearms at home and talk a lot about using them when the right time comes.

  62. 62.

    Tony Jay

    @Shalimar:

    One of the reports had a police officer mention that they were spying on a number of their own officers who were enthusiastic contributors to the group’s online communication, followed by a quick denial that this had happened.

    Suspicion is simply rife these days.

  63. 63.

    Brachiator

    @BellyCat: 

    Yet one more reason that a legitimate sex worker industry, such as in the Netherlands (which offers safety and health benefits for the workers) will have difficulty gaining traction elsewhere.

    The industry there seems to be in serious decline and human trafficking is an ongoing issue. The pandemic also had a big negative impact.

  64. 64.

    BellyCat

    @Brachiator: Always dark forces against legitimate sex work; the Netherlands being a peculiar testing ground.

    I spent three months working there and was surprised to have net a very nice woman in a cafe (when out with friends) who worked in the industry. She was very open about it and told me that the women working were of two groups, essentially: those who would work with handicapped men and those who refused. She was in the former group and said she has regular handicapped clients that she has been seeing for years. Lots of close relationships and she was their sole sexual partner, even if paid.

    It was a very mind expanding discussion and I came away from it with the impression that this was a deeply caring woman who thought of her work as a type of health care worker. Instead of physical health or mental health, her contribution was maintaining sexual health for those with very limited physical options. Not all are incels. Many wounded in battle and with amputations.

    A regular person and an unusual conversation that caused me to rethink how the sex work industry is perceived simply because it’s illegal. No different than weed, the outlaws and the evangelicals are strange bedfellows in opposition because it benefits profit/hierarchy/status quo while degrading the safety and rights of all involved.

    Tax the crap out of safe (consensual) vices and let the govt financially benefit while regulating safe use for all. Not sure any other way makes sense and seems to work in Netherlands?

  65. 65.

    Brachiator

    @BellyCat:

    Tax the crap out of safe (consensual) vices and let the govt financially benefit while regulating safe use for all. Not sure any other way makes sense and seems to work in Netherlands?

    I don’t know that I have much of an opinion about the sex industry. A quick search seems to indicate that things are not working out that well in the Netherlands. I do want workers to be safe.

    Taxing the crap out of cannabis in California paradoxically keeps the illegal market alive. Unintended consequences.

  66. 66.

    J R in WV

    We spent most of a week in LA after we went on a whale-watching cruise on a tiny National Geographic ship in Baja. Since commercial weed was newly available in CA, I walked from our hotel to the nearest outlet. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a medical-use only outlet, and was just a block or two from a commercial outlet that would be able to sell to me, not a CA resident.

    But the couple of folks running the medical-use shop were too stoned to tell me how to walk the couple of blocks to the commercial outlet. Were really, really stoned on their own product! Musta been some great weed! Long walk across the street from LAX…

  67. 67.

    BellyCat

    @Brachiator: Understood about unintentional consequences.  The counter-argument may be one of “transition”? To examine two other vices that are (more or less)  successfully regulated and taxed would be alcohol and tobacco. The longer regulation exists the more likely the efficacy for both. Weed is a transitional regulatory vice and while disruptive in the moment, it should similarly stabilize over the next century. Sex work would likely be same were it to follow a similar path.

    While I’m not a user of either pursuit , I see no defensible reason against either among consenting adults and a number of societal benefits (tax gains, safety, decriminalizing and lowering incarceration/improving voting right, etc.) to legalizing both. The most significant argument against weed that I know of is that current medical methods for analyzing how “high” (level of impairment). an individual is when operating a vehicle are not nearly as accurate as alcohol. Lots of research happening in this area per my doctor GF.

  68. 68.

    SamIAm

    @Steeplejack: 

     

    I know more than a handful of women in the tech industry that are just as delusional about crypto as any “tech bros”.  Can we drop the sexist stereotyping?

  69. 69.

    dnfree

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: We moved from Sean Casten’s district to Raja Krishnamoorthi. (Actually, we didn’t move; the districts moved.)  We like Raja also, but I’ll miss Sean.  You would be saddened to see the number of racist and anti-Hindu comments on Raja’s Facebook page.

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