Sources close to Donald Trump reveal he buried Ivana Trump on his New Jersey golf course so he could cheat on her for the rest of his life.
— Leonard (@Le202nard) July 23, 2022
It looks as bad as it sounds. pic.twitter.com/HbXwOzPBv5
— Hoodlum ???? (@NotHoodlum) July 29, 2022
Trigger warning: TFG…
"Well, nobody's gotten to the bottom of 9/11, unfortunately, and they should have, as to the maniacs that did that horrible thing …"
— Donald Trump when asked about criticism he's received from 9/11 families for hosting the Saudi-backed LIV golf tour at his club pic.twitter.com/CWrOr3B5VP
— The Recount (@therecount) July 28, 2022
i feel like everyone memoryholed this, but samuel l jackson talked about how trump was a terrible cheat before he even got elected https://t.co/Wy5oGylcDH
— GONELIKEHELLMACHINE (@golikehellmachi) July 30, 2022
That embedded quote in the above tweet is from the NYTimes‘ official golf reporter, because of course the FTFNYT did their well-honed best to treat this as just another fun celebrity outing. Here’s a less obsequious take, from Steve Polito NJ.com:
… Trump looked creaky as he bent over to put his tee in the ground, but after three quick practice swings with his driver, he whacked a solid tee shot to the left rough. His daughter, Ivanka, and her husband, Jared Kushner, looked pleased. So did Trump…
And so began a day that was somehow equal parts mundane and surreal. Let’s get the mundane part out of the way first: Trump held his own on a sweltering day with Johnson, Bryson DeChambeau and his son, Eric, offering the two high-profile PGA Tour defectors tips about playing the course that, starting on Friday, will host the latest installment of the LIV tour.
As for the surreal?
Put it this way: If I could travel back in time 10 years and tell my younger self that, in July 2022, I would cover a golf event with Trump, who is a former U.S. president; Bruce Jenner, who is now Caitlyn; and Charles Barkley, who is a contemplating a career as a golf broadcaster … let’s just say I hope my younger self would correctly surmise that marijuana is now legal in New Jersey…
Trump tapped in for bogey on the first hole, and that’s when it became tricky for the sportswriters who had hoped to count his every stroke. He knocked his drive into a bunker on the third hole, but well before Trump zoomed down the fairway in his presidential cart, his caddie retrieved it and used a rake to hide any evidence from his poor shot.
This was a best-ball format event — or, at least, something approaching that — so Trump didn’t keep his own score. His group was 6 under and just one stroke off the “lead” in the Pro-Am, close enough that Trump would stop to study the digital scoreboards with the latest results.
When he and the others finished at 2:30 p.m., they were in second place. Yes, the “recount” jokes practically write themselves…
He was pressed about how much money he is making from LIV, which has reportedly use Saudi’s Public Investment Fund for nine-figure payouts to attract pros like Johnson and Phil Mickelson, but declined to go into specifics.
“I don’t do it for that,” Trump said. “They’ve been very generous, but I don’t do it for that. I do it because they’ve been great for golf. You know, we had the U.S. Women’s Open here a few years ago, and we had the junior championships. And they want to have others. It’s a great course, a great course.”
On and on it went. On a day that the course was closed to the general public, Trump’s group was easy to find. It was the only one that used golf carts, with an armada of about 15 of them as the Secret Service followed his every move…
Photos of Ivana Trump's gravesite at Donald's New Jersey golf course are getting strong reactions from the Internet. https://t.co/HsJHrw6kjk
— TMZ (@TMZ) July 30, 2022
The pro golfers, alas, didn’t have a squad of Secret Service guys surrounding them. Another Steve Politi / NJ.com update:
… As Mickelson prepared to hit his tee shot on the par-3 hole — his first under LIV Golf’s shotgun start rules — a heckler cracked the silence with a biting commentary about who is paying his massive salary.
“DO IT FOR THE SAUDI ROYAL FAMILY!” the man yelled.
The crowd grumbled as Mickelson backed away from the ball. A security guard found the heckler, according to multiple witnesses, and warned him that he would be ejected for any other outbursts. But the damage to the moment had been done.
Mickelson knocked his tee shot into the greenside bunker, then nearly sent his sand shot into the water on the opposite side of the green. He made a bogey, the start of what had to been an awkward and at times surreal day for the five-time major winner. He finished 4-over and is in a tie for 43rd — if not for the no-cut format, Mickelson might be prepared to head home before the weekend…
It wasn’t that the crowd was against him — to the contrary, most of the fans who followed him for the first round of this 54-hole event were supportive. “We love you, Lefty!” a man yelled as he walked to the 16th green, and in return, Mickelson smiled and nodded.
No, it was the size of the galleries that was most jarring. At a typical major, the throngs would be 10 or 15 people deep around a green where Mickelson was putting, a gallery size that only 15-time major winner Tiger Woods could match. Even at a routine PGA Tour event, the savvy fans know to skip a hole ahead to watch Mickelson — or else get stuck without a view.
That wasn’t a problem here. Despite LIV Golf saturating the market with free tickets via social media, some holes at the furthest reaches of the course only had a few dozen spectators watching. Mickelson, playing with Henrik Stenson and Louis Oosthuizen, had the biggest galleries. But that’s not saying much.
It is just one more example of how far he has fallen. Mickelson arrived as a punching bag, both for sportswriters and the general public. The family of 9/11 victims, furious at the golfers who signed onto a tour sponsored by the Saudi government, targeted him specifically during a pair of protests held a few miles from the course. Even other golfers have teed him up.
“These guys — you’ve seen their interviews, right?” former Masters winner Fred Couples told Golf.com last month. “Have you ever seen Phil look so stupid in his life? They know it’s a joke.”
Everything Trump touches dies — still a truism.
4. #Trump ignores the #KSA decapitation murder of @washingtonpost columnist #JamalKhashoggi
5. The gold equipment has the US Presidential seal & Trump signature on it, as if the event were endorsed by the #WhiteHouse
6. And people got mad at #Biden for one #MBS fist bump?!
— Laurie Garrett (@Laurie_Garrett) July 29, 2022