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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Sunday Night Open Thread

Sunday Night Open Thread

by John Cole|  August 14, 202210:15 pm| 89 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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I have to go somewhere tomorrow that requires pants and I can not find any of my belts.

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Reader Interactions

89Comments

  1. 1.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    August 14, 2022 at 10:17 pm

    You’re in West Virginia. Use  a Willow branch.

  2. 2.

    TaMara

    August 14, 2022 at 10:20 pm

    Waiting for the 300 comments on how they are in the field with the car and the mustard

  3. 3.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 14, 2022 at 10:23 pm

    @TaMara: We told him that the willow is too close to the house.  Did he listen?  No, he did not.

  4. 4.

    Princess Leia

    August 14, 2022 at 10:25 pm

    Steve’s revenge.

  5. 5.

    Skepticat

    August 14, 2022 at 10:27 pm

    My father (an engineer) used to use bungee cords. They work.

  6. 6.

    Ken

    August 14, 2022 at 10:27 pm

    Check the laundry hamper for the pants you were wearing when you last wore a belt.  That’s where I usually find my wallet when it’s missing.

  7. 7.

    Kayla Rudbek

    August 14, 2022 at 10:31 pm

    My grandpa used the rubber bands from the newspaper when the elastic on the waistband wore out. Proper Depression-survivor style.

  8. 8.

    sukabi

    August 14, 2022 at 10:33 pm

    cut a length of rope and use that…

  9. 9.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 14, 2022 at 10:33 pm

    Go for prep school insouciance and use a tie as a belt.  You do have ties, right?

  10. 10.

    Leto

    August 14, 2022 at 10:38 pm

    I remember post upon post about how you were an overall man. Overalls don’t need belts. You’ll be fine.

  11. 11.

    Immanentize

    August 14, 2022 at 10:39 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: very few old school ties are that long.

    John, how about you get up early, go to Walmart, buy a belt?

    Dog leash?

  12. 12.

    Immanentize

    August 14, 2022 at 10:42 pm

    @Kayla Rudbek: It would be fun to have grandkids if only so I could be that kind of crank duffer.

  13. 13.

    Kayla Rudbek

    August 14, 2022 at 10:47 pm

    @Immanentize: my grandpa was quite the character! And he and my dad could do more arguing in two hours than most people could do all day. And nothing was ever resolved; they used to argue about how to tie knots, for instance.

  14. 14.

    Scout211

    August 14, 2022 at 10:49 pm

    Look in the dog beds. Our dog would have enjoyed a good leather belt chew toy.

  15. 15.

    Grumpy Old Railroader

    August 14, 2022 at 10:49 pm

    I’m not sure why you don’t just iron and put a crease in your overalls. When my town was just a small railroad town, railroad workers always kept a good pair of what they called “Sunday” overalls for formal occasions. You would see them with a white shirt and tie and creased pair of new overalls at a funeral, wedding or in church.

  16. 16.

    steve g

    August 14, 2022 at 10:55 pm

    It is August. Go without a belt, and don’t tuck your shirt in.

  17. 17.

    topclimber

    August 14, 2022 at 10:58 pm

    Has Baud not yet convinced you yet that pants are unnecessary?

  18. 18.

    Mike in NC

    August 14, 2022 at 10:58 pm

    Jethro Bowdine used a piece of rope for a belt.

  19. 19.

    CaseyL

    August 14, 2022 at 10:59 pm

    …you have belts?

    Do you have one of those hanging clothes/shoes organizers in your closet?  Check there;  you might have tossed one in when you were in a hurry to change into your real comfortable clothes.

  20. 20.

    dww44

    August 14, 2022 at 11:01 pm

    This post has ended my day nicely. Been working on a grant application all day and have to continue tomorrow. So, John’s post and these responses have provided some needed humorous respite. Re all the suggestions, many good ones, But I kinda think steve g’s is the best, assuming the belt isn’t needed to hold the pants up. I normally have the opposite problem. Too much me for the pants.

  21. 21.

    HumboldtBlue

    August 14, 2022 at 11:01 pm

    No more belts, that’s what happens when you quit drinking.

    Can any of you explain to me what the point this Fox talking head is trying to make?

  22. 22.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 14, 2022 at 11:02 pm

    @Mike in NC: That crossed my mind as well.  I once flew on a chartered by the military commercial transport, had to be in uniform, and for who knows why forgot my belt.  I wound up just hanging tough and telling the enlisted who pointed it out Steve Martin’s two word solution.

  23. 23.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 14, 2022 at 11:05 pm

    @HumboldtBlue: I have no idea.  Faux Noise people are hired for their looks, not their brains.

  24. 24.

    SixStringFanatic

    August 14, 2022 at 11:05 pm

    It’s West Virginia.  I thought ALL the belts were made of rope.

  25. 25.

    Ken

    August 14, 2022 at 11:07 pm

    @HumboldtBlue: Without watching it, I’ll guess “Maybe this will stick! (fling)”.

  26. 26.

    Poe Larity

    August 14, 2022 at 11:08 pm

    John, even the olds sag now. Just no twerking.

  27. 27.

    Major Major Major Major

    August 14, 2022 at 11:10 pm

    I have two belts and they’re usually on a pair of pants or shorts. Highly recommend a ‘clothes ladder’ for in-use items, doesn’t have to be this one https://nymag.com/strategist/article/the-best-wall-ladder-for-keeping-your-clothes-organized.html

  28. 28.

    eclare

    August 14, 2022 at 11:11 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:   What is the two word solution?

  29. 29.

    NotMax

    August 14, 2022 at 11:12 pm

    It was only a matter of time until the underpants gnomes branched out.

  30. 30.

    HumboldtBlue

    August 14, 2022 at 11:13 pm

    Danger Mouse & Black Thought – Aquamarine feat. Michael Kiwanuka

    Black Thought is a genius. His lyrics, tempo, timing, rhythm, groove, they all go to 11. If he was on Madden he’d be 100 100 100 100, just brilliant.

  31. 31.

    geg6

    August 14, 2022 at 11:15 pm

    @Kayla Rudbek:

    Sounds like my dad and my Uncle Marcel.  Every damn Sunday for at least 20 years.

  32. 32.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 14, 2022 at 11:15 pm

    @eclare: “I forgot”.  As in “Your honor, I forgot that armed robbery was a crime.”

    If that doesn’t work, there’s a second two word solution: “Excuuuuse me!”

    H/T to Steve Martin, this is one of his bits.

  33. 33.

    SFAW

    August 14, 2022 at 11:15 pm

    Baud might have a belt he can spare.

  34. 34.

    Planetjanet

    August 14, 2022 at 11:17 pm

    @eclare: I remember the punchline to one of his routines as “Excuuuuuuuuuuuse Meeee!”

  35. 35.

    eclare

    August 14, 2022 at 11:18 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:   Of course,  excuuuse me!  Thanks.

  36. 36.

    eclare

    August 14, 2022 at 11:19 pm

    @Planetjanet:   Yep!

  37. 37.

    NotMax

    August 14, 2022 at 11:20 pm

    Repurpose a pooch leash. Easy peasy.

    ;)

  38. 38.

    David 🌈☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch

    August 14, 2022 at 11:21 pm

    If you can’t find a bet, surely you have a wet suit you can wear

  39. 39.

    Nicole

    August 14, 2022 at 11:22 pm

    At least you discovered it the night before. I went to an out-of-town wedding today and 45 minutes before the transportation to the wedding was due to arrive I realized I’d forgotten to pack the belt that goes with the dress.  The dress needs a belt.  I was not happy.

  40. 40.

    Jager

    August 14, 2022 at 11:30 pm

    A portion of a letter I wrote to Kevin McCarthy, the minority leader of the US House…

    Congressman, my wife, and I were outraged during our visit to the Ventura County Fair this past week. We witnessed young vulnerable girls lolling about in pens with huge pigs, sheep, and goats. We saw adolescent, white boys cavorting with Angus heifers. Sir, how can an organization like 4H be allowed to expose our most tender youth to the brazen display of animal sex organs? We even saw a young girl washing the testicles of a Charolais bull. That and the amount of grooming going on was outrageous. Is there anything you can do about this? Can a law be written? Our pastor is on my side, in fact, I spoke about this at our weekly church coffee this morning…the congregation was very excited.

  41. 41.

    eclare

    August 14, 2022 at 11:31 pm

    @Nicole:   Oh no!

  42. 42.

    Raoul Paste

    August 14, 2022 at 11:32 pm

    Okay, take two lengths of duct tape and press the sticky faces together.

    Then throw that away and find your belt.  Have you ever heard of Conservation of Mass?

  43. 43.

    Scuffletuffle

    August 14, 2022 at 11:36 pm

    @Skepticat: They work fine for me as well…

  44. 44.

    LeftCoastYankee

    August 14, 2022 at 11:42 pm

    Skirts don’t need belts.  Just say it’s a kilt with your family crest (yellow daisies).

  45. 45.

    JCJ

    August 14, 2022 at 11:44 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: He should have a tie that matches his overalls

  46. 46.

    Lyrebird

    August 14, 2022 at 11:51 pm

    @Immanentize: John, how about you get up early, go to Walmart, buy a belt?

    If that’s too far, many drugstores and grocery stores sell hairbands, including stretchy elastic ones.  Sold in packs of several.  Can be chained together for a belt.

  47. 47.

    divF

    August 14, 2022 at 11:56 pm

    @Lyrebird: A daisy chain of scrunchies. Classy!

  48. 48.

    BigJimSlade

    August 14, 2022 at 11:57 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: I was going to supply the answer, but checked first ;-)

  49. 49.

    dmsilev

    August 15, 2022 at 12:04 am

    Look, it’s simple. I’m sure you have a bag of nylon zip ties somewhere. Just chain a bunch of them together, and carry a wire cutter or similar for when you need to de-belt.

  50. 50.

    glc

    August 15, 2022 at 12:07 am

    Something is missing from the backstory here. Questions arise.

  51. 51.

    2liberal

    August 15, 2022 at 12:13 am

    go with the overweight old guy look and get some suspenders. (I’ve got them)

  52. 52.

    Another Scott

    August 15, 2022 at 12:14 am

    Check your rain gutters.  Crows will put bones and stuff they want to soften up in gutters.  They might be up there.  They might be in your birdbath too, for the same reason.  I put some pieces of stale bread out and the crows decided to fill up the birdbath with them, but they did eventually return to eat…

    HTH!!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  53. 53.

    Steeplejack

    August 15, 2022 at 12:17 am

    Tsk, Cole. You should keep your tactical gear at the ready at all times!

  54. 54.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 15, 2022 at 12:19 am

    @Steeplejack: Tankers wore one piece Nomex suits in the field.  Their idea of tactical gear differs.

  55. 55.

    C Stars

    August 15, 2022 at 12:19 am

    @Jager: I would grade that 100%

    @glc: I know. Why does he need pants? And how can a person lose ALL of their belts? Sus, very sus.

  56. 56.

    Feathers

    August 15, 2022 at 12:24 am

    Pants are a lie.

  57. 57.

    Yutsano

    August 15, 2022 at 12:28 am

    Suck it up and get you a damn kilt Cole. Also: I sense Thurston involvement.

  58. 58.

    Steeplejack

    August 15, 2022 at 12:33 am

    @Immanentize:

    Crank Duffer is my Huey Lewis tribute band.

  59. 59.

    Steeplejack

    August 15, 2022 at 12:43 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Noted. 🧐

    ETA: But Cole has to adapt! We’re in a post-Fulda Gap world now.

  60. 60.

    Jager

    August 15, 2022 at 12:53 am

    Since we are talking about old guys and pants, I was at the Levi department in Macy’s this afternoon, my lovely wife handed me a pair in my size. Since I’ve porked up a bit, I took them to the dressing room, I dropped my pants, grabbed the new Levis, and attempted to put them on, it was impossible to get my size 11.5 foot into the bottom half of the fucking tapered leg. As I was struggling with the tapered Levis, I heard a “mother fucker” from the adjoining dressing room, then a crash, then the legs of the dressing room chair slid under the partition. Another “Motherfucker” rang out and the nice Macy’s lady knocked on the door and asked if everything was okay.  My neighbor said, “who invented these god damned tapered Levis!” I got my old pants back on, and stepped out of the booth, my neighbor came out a second later. I said, ‘Like the new Levi tapered pants, huh?” He laughed and said, “About as much as you do pal.” We both ended up with regular 505s…

  61. 61.

    Benw

    August 15, 2022 at 12:59 am

    No worries, JC you’ll find a belt

  62. 62.

    kindness

    August 15, 2022 at 1:01 am

    John aren’t you at the suspenders part of life yet?  Mind you I was born in the 50’s.

  63. 63.

    sab

    August 15, 2022 at 1:02 am

    @Jager: I’m sorry. I laughed.

    I hope you are okay.

    I have always thought fashionable jeans are an oxymoron. Jeans should be functional and comfortable. Period.

  64. 64.

    eclare

    August 15, 2022 at 1:03 am

    @Jager:   Great story!  I am female and have never worn skinny jeans.  I am short (five foot one), and whenever I have tried them on, all I can think is that I look like a penguin.

  65. 65.

    schrodingers_cat

    August 15, 2022 at 1:10 am

    @eclare: I am 5ft 3 and prefer straight leg or boot cut jeans. Skinnies I pair with tunic tops. But I don’t wear them much.

  66. 66.

    eclare

    August 15, 2022 at 1:11 am

    @schrodingers_cat:   Skinnies with tunic tops makes sense

    Like you, I go with straight or boot cut.

  67. 67.

    Yutsano

    August 15, 2022 at 1:28 am

    I don’t wear jeans because I have a leg brace. There doesn’t exist enough of a relaxed fit to accommodate orthotics like mine.

  68. 68.

    sab

    August 15, 2022 at 1:30 am

    My first pair of jeans (1966) were a pair of levis so stiff that they could stand on their own. That was before stonewashed jeans. You had to break them in yourself, and it was an uncomfortable process.

    My second pair were hand-me-downs from my father. For some bizarre reason my grandmother kept his teen jeans, and in high school they fit me perfectly.

  69. 69.

    sab

    August 15, 2022 at 1:37 am

    We are using my husband’s back surgery as an excuse to purge the house, and I am discovering that my virtuous thriftiness is actually an inner pack-rat. If after twenty years I haven’t dieted down to fit some beloved dresses, I just need to let go. Too bad if nobody else loves them like I did. Good luck Goodwill. Vintage by now and still in good shape

    ETA: And what do I do with all my Covid masks now that professional grade are available?  Sew them together into a dog blanket?

  70. 70.

    eclare

    August 15, 2022 at 1:40 am

    @sab:   Sounds like you got that gene from your grandmother!

  71. 71.

    sab

    August 15, 2022 at 1:41 am

    @eclare: Ouch!

    ETA: LOL

  72. 72.

    sab

    August 15, 2022 at 1:52 am

    Totally OT: my husband’s back surgery and the extra unplanned ten days in hospital reminded me of what exceptional people good nurses are. And we fortunately only had good nurses. Husband was trying to be a good patient, but hospital care robs you of all dignity, and good nurses take care of the medical requirements and comfort while creating an illusion of dignity and limited autonomy for the patient. I cannot imagine being that nice to random people for years.

  73. 73.

    NotMax

    August 15, 2022 at 1:58 am

    @sab

    Them weren’t jeans, them were dungarees.

  74. 74.

    sab

    August 15, 2022 at 2:05 am

    @NotMax: Good point.

  75. 75.

    eclare

    August 15, 2022 at 2:09 am

    @sab:   Good to hear that your husband had such good care.  I can’t imagine doing that job either.

  76. 76.

    sab

    August 15, 2022 at 2:28 am

    @eclare: I am going to have to be an amateur version now, since he’s home and needs IV antibiotics.

    I certainly didn’t rise to the occasion today. Home nurse came to intruct me how to to do an IV today, and I was quite snippy when husband interrupted. ” She’s training me, not you! Want to do your own IV? Fine! I’ll go read a book and you two get on with it.”

    And when stepson came over and I was showing him how to recharge the electric lawnmower and husband wanted whatever right then I shrieked ” Shut up! I am busy!”  Right in front of stepson and the dog. Not one of my finer moments.

    ETA and afterwards I was in tears ( and I never cry) because I had fucked up so badly, and that made husband feel guilty for being sick and a burden.

    We worked it out, but sucky day, and nurses are amazing.

  77. 77.

    eclare

    August 15, 2022 at 2:32 am

    @sab:   It will take time to get used to a new routine….hopefully it will get a little easier each day.

  78. 78.

    sab

    August 15, 2022 at 2:47 am

    @eclare: Yes. It’s just in the meantime every little detail matters. The IV terrifies me. A bubble and he has a stroke. Casual with sanitation and the MRSA survives. And I have no actual experience with this stuff. I don’t have good habits. I have no related habits at all, except from Covid and housekeeping. And I am bitchy when I am on shaky ground.

  79. 79.

    sab

    August 15, 2022 at 2:56 am

    Also too I forgot to give the cats their second wet catfood meal (my job) and to change their kitty litter (his job.)

    Cats are being good. “We aren’t angry. We are just deeply disappointed in your total betrayal of our trust in you.”

  80. 80.

    frosty

    August 15, 2022 at 3:27 am

    @Kayla Rudbek: Knots are important! Of course they argued. If you want to be safe being lowered down the mountain use a bowline. If you want to risk your life try a square knot.

  81. 81.

    frosty

    August 15, 2022 at 3:34 am

    @Nicole: We went to an out of town wedding many many years ago and when we got off the plane we realized my wife’s suitcase was still in the car.  Deep breath. Okay, this is a problem a credit card can solve. Stopped in Laura Ashley’s, two salesgirls were grabbing dresses, we were out of there in a half hour and on our way.

  82. 82.

    frosty

    August 15, 2022 at 3:41 am

    @Jager: Last time I was in the Levi’s store I asked to try on 505s. Then noted the geezer behind me also asked for them. You’re showing your age, pal.

    What pisses me off is that they changed the cut; the watch pocket where I keep my phone changes randomly, the pockets are deep, then they’re not … and they don’t sell an inseam short enough for me. Fucking suits decided to let the Chinese make them and still charge USA prices.

    Grr

    frosty

  83. 83.

    frosty

    August 15, 2022 at 3:42 am

    deleted dead thread

  84. 84.

    Ruckus

    August 15, 2022 at 3:43 am

    This is not the first time we’ve had this thread, John discussed pants well over a decade ago. It’s like I’ve traveled back in time.

    @sab:

    Best of luck for your spouse’s recovery. It can take time for everything, everyone to adjust to major changes, just take it one day at a time.

  85. 85.

    Ruckus

    August 15, 2022 at 4:00 am

    @Jager:

    I wear 501 Levis. Or at least I used to. I have a used pair and 2 new unworn pair. I can not remember the last time I’ve worn that or any pair of long pants. I wear shorts. They are more comfortable and if someone doesn’t like that I wear shorts, fuckem. Someone once asked me what I do about going someplace with a dress code. Told them I don’t wear dresses. They failed to see the humor. Life is far too short to give a damn what other’s think about how I clothe myself. The bits that need to be covered, are. I’m comfortable. Done.

  86. 86.

    J R in WV

    August 15, 2022 at 5:51 am

    I’ll wear shorts until November or so, and then dig up a couple pairs of jeans for the  winter season. I do wear a belt to hold the pants up, tho.

  87. 87.

    Nancy

    August 15, 2022 at 6:29 am

    @sab: I’m sure the cat’s act will be funny someday.

    I can’t even imagine handling an IV for someone I love. We do what we must, but this hovers on the edge of too much.

    I won’t offer thoughts and prayers, but I will be thinking of you as I get annoyed by the day-to-day little things. I hope you have caring, local family and friends.

  88. 88.

    Central Planning

    August 15, 2022 at 6:34 am

    @dmsilev: I wonder if John needs a proper belt, or just something to tighten up some pants. If it’s the latter, a zip tie pulling two belt loops together might do just fine.

    I will now wonder how snazzy a zip tie belt would look. I might have to make one just to see

  89. 89.

    Betty

    August 15, 2022 at 8:28 am

    @sab: It’s the stress you have been under. You needed that cry.

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