Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Trump makes a mockery of the legal system and cowardly judges just sit back and let him.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Democrats are back in array!

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

Never forget that he train is barreling down on Trump, even as he dances on the tracks.

The choice is between normal and crazy.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

You are here: Home / Elections / 2022 Elections / Tuesday Morning Open Thread: Reminders (Sharing Is Caring)

Tuesday Morning Open Thread: Reminders (Sharing Is Caring)

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  2. 2.

    OzarkHillbilly

    Groooooannnn…

    He set out to squash rivals’ dreams and he succeeded. Retired commercial farmer Scott Andrusz spent sleepless nights tending to a giant gourd in his field and finally came up with a new US record – a plump pumpkin weighing in at 2,554 pounds.

    The latest record holder for heaviest pumpkin grown in the US tended his prize pie filling in upstate New York and pureed the previous record holder, a grower in New Hampshire whose 2,528 monster set the national standard in 2018, but in the end wasn’t a patch on Andrusz’s.

    The 63-year-old in Clarence, near Buffalo, had hoped to grow the heaviest pumpkin in New York state but ended up a national champion.

    “Give it all the best stuff you can think of to give it, all the fertilizer, kelp, worm castings, chicken refuse,” Andrusz told Gothamist. “And a ton of water. Every time she’s thirsty you gotta go give her a drink.”

    I guess we know what NotMax is doing in his spare time now.

  4. 4.

    NotMax

    Not of general interest necessarily but for those who play games on their mobile device (or have kids who do), some valuable information. Video is 20 minutes long so might want to save it for later consumption.

  6. 6.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @Baud: Time for a variation on an oldie that has many, many variants:

    BJ commenter newly arrived in heaven sees a friend who he knows is also an avid commenter, and tells him about God’s Blog, which somehow is even better than BJ.

    “So what’s God like as a blogger?” the new guy asks.

    “Oh, pretty interesting. But sometimes he gets a little carried away and thinks he’s Baud.”

  9. 9.

    SFAW

    @Baud:

    Well, He is pantsless.

    ETA: To be more precise: I have never seen a depiction of God where God is wearing pants.

  10. 10.

    NotMax

    Cannot help but tut-tut and decry the amount of Jeffrey Dahmer material appearing or soon to appear (yes, there’s more on the way) on Netflix.

  11. 11.

    Baud

    @kalakal:

    Not as keen on floods & plagues of locusts?

     
    I prefer a scalpel to a sledgehammer.

    I’d also solve the abortion issue by making it so men could get pregnant.

  12. 12.

    narya

    So after Saturday’s beer 5k, I had a beer named “Pantsless.” I thought of Baud. And our blogfather.

  13. 13.

    NotMax

    @SFAW

    In the spirit of MAD magazine’s Headlines We’d Like To See:

    “Does God go commando? Biblical scholars divided.”

  14. 14.

    SFAW

    @Baud:

    I’d also solve the abortion issue by making it so men could get pregnant.

    In the vein of “small steps”: can you start off by giving all RWMF males months-long morning sickness?

  15. 15.

    Tony Jay

    @NotMax:

    It’s a concerted PR effort on behalf of Conservative candidates and incumbents who desperately need someone arguably worse than them to compare themselves against.

    “I just want to control your body, not keep chunks of it in my freezer!”

  17. 17.

    WaterGirl

    @NotMax: That sounds like a promo for one of those evening shows, whose name I cannot recall.

    “Why doing X can kill you, even the first time you do it, we’ll tell you what and why in 3 days, on Thursday night.”

  19. 19.

    Layer8Problem

    @NotMax:  Assuming this is a mini-series:  somewhere, people actually decided this constituted entertainment and green-lighted this?

  20. 20.

    SFAW

    @WaterGirl:

    “Why doing X can kill you, even the first time you do it, we’ll tell you what and why in 3 days, on Thursday night.”

    With Maggie Haberman as the hostess? Although I guess with her, it would be “in two years, and you have to buy my book.”

  21. 21.

    OzarkHillbilly

    The clarion call of justice is sounding across America once again, thanks to the tireless efforts of its finest purveyor of made-up news.

    The Onion, the long-running satirical publication, has filed a very real legal document with the US supreme court, urging it to take on a case centered on the right to parody. And in order to make a serious legal point, the filing does what the Onion does best, offering a big helping of total nonsense.

    Claiming global Onion readership of 4.3 trillion, the filing describes the publication as “the single most powerful and influential organization in human history”. It’s the source of 350,000 jobs at its offices and “manual labor camps”, and it “owns and operates the majority of the world’s transoceanic shipping lanes, stands on the nation’s leading edge on matters of deforestation and strip mining, and proudly conducts tests on millions of animals daily”.

    With such power, why does the Onion feel the need to weigh in on a mundane court case? “To protect its continued ability to create fiction that may ultimately merge into reality,” the filing asserts. “The Onion’s writers also have a self-serving interest in preventing political authorities from imprisoning humorists. This brief is submitted in the interest of at least mitigating their future punishment.”

    The outlet is concerned about the outcome of a case it describes in a headline: “Ohio Police Officers Arrest, Prosecute Man Who Made Fun of Them on Facebook”. It sounds like an Onion headline, the filing points out, but it’s not.

    In 2016, Anthony Novak was arrested for making a Facebook page that parodied the local police page. He was charged with disrupting a public service but was acquitted. The next year, he sued the department, arguing it was retaliating against him for using his right to free speech, as Cleveland.com reported.

    In May, a US appeals court backed the police in the case, a finding Novak’s lawyer said “sets dangerous precedent undermining free speech”. Last week, Novak appealed against the case to the supreme court, leading to the Onion’s filing – what’s known as an amicus brief, a filing by an outside party seeking to influence the court.

    In one of its less amusing sections, the brief argues that the appeals court ruling “imperils an ancient form of discourse. The court’s decision suggests that parodists are in the clear only if they pop the balloon in advance by warning their audience that their parody is not true. But some forms of comedy don’t work unless the comedian is able to tell the joke with a straight face.”

  23. 23.

    gvg

    When I used to live in Orlando decades ago, they had a giant pumpkin boat race every year in Lake Eola. Tiny lake downtown, with a park that they held many festivals.  People would grow a giant pumpkin, scoop it out, and make a boat out of it, then race across the small lake. Pumpkins are mostly round and do not make the best boats so the results were intentionally rather humorous. I don’t think there were rules about how you propelled the “boat”, sail, row or some kind of power and that also allowed some creativity.

    As I understand it, these giant pumpkins interiors are hard, woody and tasteless. If you want pie, grow a small pie pumpkin. These are for people who want a certain challenge.

    There was also a bathtub race…..

  24. 24.

    OzarkHillbilly

    “She say anything about me?”

    – donald F’n trump, inquiring about Ghislaine Maxwell.

  29. 29.

    Cacti

    I saw that candidate Herschel Walker apparently supports a “life of my bank account” exception to his anti-abortion position.

    Shocked I tell you.  Just shocked.

  30. 30.

    Betty Cracker

    Sometimes I suspect Joe Biden makes up quotes from his late father to suit the political issue at hand. But he does it to far greater effect than Tom Friedman with his fictional cabbies, so I’m okay with it.

  31. 31.

    germy shoemangler

    P.S. Don’t forget that lots of animals love to eat pumpkins! If yours is in good shape after Halloween (not rotten or painted, didn’t use a candle) leave it in the woods for wildlife, or look up farm sanctuaries in your area – they generally love snack donations!

    — Cats of Yore (@CatsOfYore) October 1, 2022

  32. 32.

    OzarkHillbilly

    Donald Trump has sued cable TV network CNN, claiming defamation and seeking punitive damages of $475m, according to a Florida court filing on Monday.

    The US cable news station has accurately referred to the former US president “with a series of ever-more scandalous, false, and defamatory labels of ‘racist,’ ‘Russian lackey,’ ‘insurrectionist,’ and ultimately ‘Hitler’,” Trump’s lawyers claimed. The lawsuit has been filed in federal court in Fort Lauderdale.

    OK, OK… I slightly reworded that 2nd paragraph to more accurately reflect reality. Sue me.

    Almost forgot:

    “Beyond simply highlighting any negative information about the plaintiff and ignoring all positive information about him, CNN has sought to use its massive influence, purportedly as a ‘trusted’ news source, to defame the plaintiff in the minds of its viewers and readers for the purpose of defeating him politically,” the filing states.

    What positive info about him?

  33. 33.

    kalakal

    @Baud:

    I prefer a scalpel to a sledgehammer.

    Would it involve means testing?

    I’d also solve the abortion issue by making it so men could get pregnant.

    Now that would make you my deity of choice.

    Could you throw in something about preventing turtles from becoming senators?

  34. 34.

    Suzanne

    I am having one of those moments in my job in which I realize that, no matter how big we draw something, it will never be enough.

    Next week, it will be that no matter how small I draw something, it will always cost too much.

  35. 35.

    Baud

    This discussion raises a theological question I’ve never seen addressed.  Did God intend Adam and Eve to have children in the Garden of Eden? If not, why would God give Eve a womb?  I recall Go Forth and Multiply to be a command after they were expelled, but I don’t remember what the view is on what the two of them were supposed to do if they hadn’t eaten of the apple.

  37. 37.

    NotMax

    Intense heat outdoors abated enough that I was able to get around to installing a new mailbox on the pole by the street to replace the one which while I was away visiting in NY got battered (yet again, although managed to wrangle it back into a semblance of utility). Force applied by the dastardly instigators this time was enough to not only bend the 2 inch screws holding it in place but also the solid metal pole itself.

    Been so bloody hot here over the past month that earlier just affixing the address numbers on it in the garage left my shirt drenched with sweat.

  39. 39.

    Baud

    @kalakal:

    Could you throw in something about preventing turtles from becoming senators?

    I would prevent Senators from becoming turtles.  It’s the only thing that’s fair to the turtles.

  42. 42.

    Jeffro

    I know that everyone here will be shocked speechless to hear that Fox News (both the cable channel and the website) does not have much to say about Herschel Walker this morning.

    Ah well…I’m sure their viewers get their news from multiple sources and are open to new infor 🤣

  44. 44.

    Ohio Mom

    @Danielx: It’s not the surgery, it’s the recovery. Been there, done that, about to go back for more. Sob. I recommend lots of ice cream.

    On another note, last night Ohio Dad and I were in the audience for a televised debate for two sets of local Congressional contenders, for District 1, where we now live (after redistributing), where the Republican incumbent has 26 years in office, and District 8, likewise with a Republican incumbent.

    Before the debate went on air, we were cautioned that we must remain silent, no outbursts of any kind and no applauding except at the very start and the very end.

    All were compliant until the Democratic contender for my district mentioned a woman’s right to choose and thunderous applause broke out.

    Made me hopeful that we just might coast to victory on Roe/Dobbs.

    Overall, I am sorry to say we were very unimpressed with all of the candidates. They didn’t seemed to have prepared at all. For some questions, the answers were clearly snippets of stump speeches, for the others, they mostly stumbled.

    The exception was the Black woman college professor who is running in District 8 for the third time. She was prepared but she is never going to win in a rural white district. Why can’t the Ohio Democratic Party build a bench?!!!

  45. 45.

    NotMax

    @germy shoemangler

    Reminded of the stories of the reindeer skin pants worn as part of the uniform of a Russian czar’s guards. It’s said they were so tight it took three other members of the same unit to get a fellow into them.

  49. 49.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @OzarkHillbilly: So Mom’s Rule of “If you can’t say something nice about somebody, don’t say anything at all” is binding on news organizations? It’s certainly a bold interpretation of the First Amendment.

    I imagine they could get a favorable ruling from Judge Cannon and a possible majority of the Supreme Court.

  50. 50.

    Tony Jay

    @Baud:

    Good question. The answer of course being that they were at it like bunnies, but were fine until The Fall because Eden mandated unrestricted access to free contraception.

    A particular favourite of my very atheist nine year old (down believe in God, Santa Claus or The Queen) is the question of how a just God could have punished Adam and Eve for the sin of eating from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil when, logically, before they ate the fruit they didn’t know what right and wrong were so couldn’t be held responsible.

    He’s concluded from this that God is a right old wanker. Good lad.

    Eversore is still a pain in the arse, though.

  51. 51.

    Baud

    @Ohio Mom:

    Overall, I am sorry to say we were very unimpressed with all of the candidates. They didn’t seemed to have prepared at all. For some questions, the answers were clearly snippets of stump speeches, for the others, they mostly stumbled.

    I didn’t see the debate, obviously, but the fact is that the vast majority of candidates will be average, not impressive.  I feel like this is an area where the GOP has an advantage — they’ve learned not to look for something special in their general election candidates.

  52. 52.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Bringing this up from last night’s Ukraine thread. I’m sure there are a few Jackals besides me who remember watching the 1973 Oscars and seeing the formidable Ms. Littlefeather for the first time.

    Nothing whatever to do with Ukraine, or Vladimir Putin, or Elon Musk, or Herschel Walker — in other words, O/T as can be — but if you are old enough, you’ll remember Sacheen Littlefeather, a young Native American activist, throwing the Academy Awards ceremony into turmoil when she refused to accept Marlon Brando’s Best Actor Oscar for The Godfather.

    Sacheen Littlefeather passed away Monday at age 75. She brought Native grievances to the attention of a nationwide live television audience in 1973. She was a brave and exceptional woman, then and throughout her life.

    May she rest in power. Here’s a gift link to the NYT obituary.

  54. 54.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    It is cold and miserable here in southeastern PA, hovering in the range of 45-50 degrees and raining constantly for days. As this is likely the tiniest dregs of Hurricane Ian, I’m not really complaining. But I am remembering fondly the one time I enjoyed weather like this: a week we spent in Galway, Ireland, where you’d walk through the miserable rain and then end up in the pub sipping a pot of real tea (my wife) or a real Irish Coffee (me) and listening to fantastic music as your clothes steamed dry.

    If there’s going to be cold miserable rain, it should always end in a pub, an Irish Coffee, and locals making music. Can some deity see to that? Baud, can I add it to your list?

  55. 55.

    germy shoemangler

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I never understood why Brando couldn’t show up and deliver the speech himself rather than tossing her into the meat grinder.

    It didn’t do her career any good, pissing off people like Marion Robert Morrison.

  58. 58.

    kalakal

    @gvg: Many years ago Mrs Kalakal came 2nd* in the Annual Little Miss Pumpkin Contest in Circleville, Oh.

    There’s not a lot happens in Circleville.

    *Her cousin came first, she still hasn’t forgiven her

  61. 61.

    Suzanne

    @Gin & Tonic: So you’re saying size matters?

     
    100%.

    In all seriousness, if there is anything I wish I could get into the heads of “normies”, it is that a building of any type is a capital investment. The bigger it is, the more it costs, and therefore every square foot needs to be well-used for its purpose. But we cannot change the laws of space-time….there is no way to make it big on the inside and small on the outside.

  62. 62.

    kalakal

    @Baud: Hah! Would be Supreme Being admits Omnipotency shortfall! 

    Ethical questions arise as social drinkers thrown under bus for political gain

  63. 63.

    Ohio Mom

    @Baud: That is something I’ll have to mull over (I’m also going to think about your question about Eve’s uterus).

    My frustration with the District 1 candidate is that it’s a district that Democrats could conceivably win and I don’t think he is working very hard at it.

    Eons ago, all of the City of Cincinnati was in the same Congressional district and we sent Democrats to Congress. Then the Republicans in Columbus split the city in two.

    My half was attached to a long swath of rural areas, snaking along the Ohio River; those people were responsible for sending Mean Jean Schmidt to Washington. Likewise, the western half of Cincinnati was attached to rural areas, and that combined with the fact that the western side of Cincinnati had long been mostly conservative Catholic, meant that a second Republican was also sent to the House.

    In the recent redistributing, reuniting Cincinnati into one district was a bone thrown to Democrats. I hate to see us waste this chance.

  64. 64.

    GoBlueInOak

    @JPL: Partisanship is gonna tighten these races that Democrats were having a polling advantage over summer fast as we approach election day.  Gonna turn on a sliver of swing voters like usual, with GOP having a built in advantage of voters who couldn’t care less about who their candidate is as long as they have an R after their name.

  68. 68.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @germy shoemangler:

    Marion Robert Morrison was an asshole, a jerk, and a first-class dick. So that was probably going to happen anyway.

    If I ever knew why Brando didn’t show up himself, I’ve forgotten the reason.

  69. 69.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Baud: I feel like this is an area where the GOP has an advantage — they’ve learned not to look for something special in their general election candidates.

    All any GOPer needs to do is hate the right people and promise to line the roads from DC to San Fran with their crucified bodies.

  72. 72.

    Geminid

    @kalakal: As a child, dancer/actress Patty Lupone teamed up with her brother Robert to win third prize in a Jones Beach, Long Island dance contest.

    “I still have the trophy,” Ms. Lupone said. “It was a tango.”

    From the New York Times September 2 obituary, “Robert  Lupone, 76, Actor Who Became a Behind-the-Scenes Force.”

  73. 73.

    Tony Jay

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    That’s dedication, for you.

    I particularly enjoyed this one from yesterday. Nesrine Malik comes as close as continued employment allows to calling out the FTF Guardian for bullshitting their readership in order to destroy Corbyn and elevate Starmer’s clique of racist careerists.

    No comments allowed, of course. What would be the point when their policy is to routinely banhammer any mention of Red Tory purges anyway.

  76. 76.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Geminid: for Sopranos fans, Robert Lupone played Dr Cusumano (sp?), the “white bread Italian” in the McMansion next door. The Cusumanos were originally supposed to have a much larger role in the series, but David Chase, and the audience, fell in love with the guys at the Bing and the pork store

  77. 77.

    Soprano2

    @OzarkHillbilly: On that basis I think Hillary Clinton could sue pretty much every news organ out there!!! It’s another TFG shiny object to divert the press’s attention from all of his crimes.

  78. 78.

    Geminid

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Robert Lupone made his own break in 1975 when he talked Director Michael Bennett into letting him play the director, Zach in the play “A Chorus Line.” Barry Bostwick had the role but quit when the show was still in its workshop phase. Lupone had been in the chorus.

    “A Chorus Line” went on to win 12 Tony Award nominations, including one for Robert Lupone as best featured actor in a musical. That same year his sister Patty was nominated for the best featured actress in a musical, for her role in “The Robber Bridegroom.”

         “A Chorus Line” proved pivotal for Mr. Lupone. His future was no longer in dancing.

    Ms. Lupone said her brother had been an “extraordinary dancer” and that his decision to give up dancing  “still haunts me.” In an email, she wrote, “I think he couldn’t take the dictatorial environment that directors of that time created.”

  79. 79.

    JCJ

    @Suzanne:

    there is no way to make it big on the inside and small on the outside.

     

    I dunno.  In a Harry Potter movie they all stayed in a tent that was quite spacious inside when they went to the Quidditch World Cup

  83. 83.

    catclub

    @Baud: what the view is on what the two of them were supposed to do if they hadn’t eaten of the apple.

    Theological answer:

    In the Garden of Eden sat Adam,

    massaging the Bust of his madam,

    He chuckled with mirth,

    for he knew that on Earth,

    there were only two boobs and he had’em.

  87. 87.

    Gravenstone

    @Suzanne: Next week, it will be that no matter how small I draw something, it will always cost too much.

    I’ve twice gotten to experience the dubious pleasure of seeing a facility I work in or support get arbitrarily downsized in the interval between design and construction due to “budget concerns”. Obviously neither case ended well.

  88. 88.

    J R in WV

    @Danielx: ​
     

    I would rather have periodontal surgery than have a foley catheter inserted into my penis !!!

    Just me, maybe… Got it removed this morning, which was painless, but things are still tender.

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