My sister, Tammy, my parents, and a bunch of you keep asking what my plan is to assimilate Max into the household- “What is Steve gonna think?” “How are you going to get everyone to get along?” “Do you have a plan to…” And so on.
And the answer, my friends, is I do not have a plan, will probably not come up with a plan, and am not going to worry about it and everything will be fine.
I’ll plug in a Feliway pheremone diffuser not because I think it will do anything, but it might, but more importantly it will shut my sister and others up. I’m gonna get a new litter box, for a grand total of three, because I think you need one more litter box than you have cats. And I will make sure cords and plants are out of readch3. Other than that, I don’t have a plan.
And I don’t think you need one. I’m not gonna get worked up about it, either. I’ll sequester Thurston while I bring him into the house so the first thing he is greeted with is manbearpig running around squealing like a maniac. Other than that, I’ll do what I normally do which is just let them feel each other out and not try to read into things or act all freaked out. They’re animals. As long as all their basic needs are met and you love on them, it will sort itself out.
War for Ukraine Day 241: It’s Been a Day…
Gin & Tonic
That sounds like a plan.
kindness
John after the meetup: ‘Who knew cats kept switchblades in their pockets?’
The rest of us: ‘Cats have pockets???’
BruceFromOhio
TaMara has demonstrated that arc as well.
Alison Rose
@kindness: If they were designed by women, they do.
bbleh
I just like “assimilate Max” for the words. It’s rhythmically pleasant, and it’s interesting because it sounds like it could have more than one meaning but it’s not clear what that meaning might be.
schrodingers_cat
We need pictures of the assimilation process. Videos would be even better.
BTW, I made a new Header for Diwali.
Happy Diwali!
Tomorrow I make Diwali goodies.
Jackie
I agree. Have a meet & greet (one at at a time,) have a safe haven place for Max the 1st few days, then let Max determine what, if any, adjustments are needed temporarily. I’ve always gone by this and never had any major issues.
Something tells me Max will deal with Lily and Thurston in short order. Steve will have hissy fits a few days, and then the pecking order will be established.
I WANT Lily pics!!! I swear it’s been MONTHS since you’ve posted pics!
terben
Do we just call you Serendipity Sam from now on?
Raoul Paste
This was an enjoyable post
Another Scott
You have margarine ready, I assume??
Good luck!
Cheers,
Scott.
Salty Sam
“A plan never survives first contact with the enemy.”
Martin
I’m glad you have a scheme to appease your sister. I’m curious the wisdom to post such a scheme in public.
dexwood
Que sera, sera.
Jackie
@dexwood: Yup
🐾BillinGlendaleCA
@Martin: I don’t think Steve, Lily, or Thurston read the blog.
wombat probabilty cloud
Wish you the best of luck for the transition. Critters are truly amazing (though sometimes a pain in the ass) and remarkable in their ability to navigate new environments and alliances. We’ve had a half-dozen dog and cat rescues over the years–some really damaged from their prior lives–but their ability to move towards love and affection has altered my view of what’s possible in the world. Our current pup, an American Akita mix from a shelter in Texas, is fabulously tuned in and trusting, yet she carries a lump in her broken jaw where a bullet permanently resides. Jesus.
cbear
As my father, the Colonel, used to say whenever we introduced a new pet to the herd “Son, they’ll figure it out pretty damn quick–as long as no one gets killed or permanently maimed, everything will be okay–and it will probably be entertaining as hell.”
guachi
We have three male cats and one female cat. We did nothing special to ensure they got along.
They do have four cat pans and we try to ensure they each have food they like. Two will eat anything. Two are pickier.
Multiple cat beds and lots of places to sleep and lay on so they can be near us. They like that
TaMara
Wait? People have actual plans? 🤣😘
stinger
It’ll work out and it’ll be great.
Betsy
We kept the new kitty sequestered on the other side of a door, cracked open just a scant half-inch and firmly held in place. For a few days. This allowed the two cats to detect each other, sniff each other, sense each other, but not to attack, swat, or make aggressive displays m, or be on the receiving end of such displays.
After a few days we let them interact a bit more, with a wider crack at first, and then a full release.
By that time they were used to the idea that another cat was around, familiar with its smell, used to dealing with it, and having no experience of aggression from the other animal — and VERY curious to learn more. The initial release session thus turned into a play session with furtive, then energetic, hide-and-seek.
I don’t know at all if this is foolproof, but at least it worked well in this one case.
TriassicSands
As much as I wish that were true, sometimes it isn’t and one cat could injure the other. I volunteer at a local cat shelter and there are cats that simply won’t tolerate other cats. Just throwing them together could get the little guy hurt. Betsy’s idea of letting them gradually become aware of each other is basically sound.
Max isn’t likely to be the problem and I hope Steve is laid back enough to just accept a newcomer. I had a cat who after 14 years in the same household would never accept a cat that entered the scene after the first cat had been there for a couple of years. Despite extensive efforts on my part to smooth the way, the alpha cat simply never accepted the other cat and attacked her anytime she got the chance, which after the aggression was obvious only happened twice more, both times because a problem door had not latched. Their last encounter resulted in a dislocated tail and a broken lamp. The aggressor had already been living with a third cat for a couple of years when feline three entered the scene.
I also had a cat that I brought home when she was already 16 years old. At the shelter they had to keep her separate from other cats because she hated them and was very aggressive toward them. That never changed, but living with me she was the only critter and that’s how she liked it. When I took her to the vet, if she saw another cat she went ballistic, but she loved people and was very affectionate.
If Steve and Max get off on the wrong foot, so to speak, you might not be able to heal the rift. My hope would be that Steve, having been in a very busy pet household will not be aggressive. But that isn’t guaranteed if you’ve never seen what Steve is like with another cat. Virtually all the professional advice is to introduce new cats slowly and give them time to become used to the idea of having another cat around.
I don’t expect you’ll pay any attention to what I’ve written, but I’d recommend, John, that you at least go online and read what experienced people say about introducing a new cat. The younger the new cat is, the better — usually. And the introduction process is not complicated.
wenchacha
I just think its nice that you are giving this black cat a home with Halloween right around the corner.
TriassicSands
One other point. At the shelter it is not that uncommon for people to adopt a cat and then return it to the shelter because the cat or cats they already had wouldn’t accept the newbie.
Chris T.
@TriassicSands: I have always tried to do the gentle introduction thing. Lucky for me all my failures at this have been because the old cats were all “OMG new kitten let’s play!”
I did have one old cat (in both senses, i.e., he was there first, and he was also about 12 or so while the new cat was a kitten) who didn’t want her near him and would swat her away, but wasn’t actually aggressive. She spent months gradually wearing him down and eventually they would sleep pressed up against each other. (Both were black-panther kitties, too!)
sab
@Chris T.: We had a similar thing, an old and brain damaged cat not wanting to play with our frisky young semi-feral adoptee. Everything was fixed when stepson gave us his lonely young cat who hated being alone all day while dad was at work. The two boys bonded and left the old grouch alone.
Semi-feral is now everyone’s favorite (people and cats) and pretty much runs the household, currently five cats, two humans and one pitbull.
Ten Bears
Good, sensible name. Donna brought home a black cat a couple months ago and named him … Cake.
Tinare
I have used Betsy’s method successfully as well. I would give Max his own room for a couple of days. He’ll probably need some time to decompress from traveling. Let him get used to you first before blowing his mind with all the inhabitants and the full space. Let him feel secure where he is and let him get used to smells and sounds from a sanctuary space first. Cats are territorial creatures. It takes a little time to adjust to a new territory. I had a cat who was very well acquainted with me and my other cats – one who was her littermate – who hid for a week after we moved because she was traumatized from changing houses alone.
Just my $.02
randy khan
We harbor cats and my experience is that you can’t predict who will get along. We have a cat who is pretty aggressive towards other cats and when we got a kitten we were very concerned that he could hurt her. But it turned out that she is his favorite other cat – they bonded when he started stealing dry food from the cage we kept her in early on (mostly because we were afraid she would fall down the stairs accidentally) and they are still best buddies today.
Princess
How happy would you be if someone threw you into a house with a bunch of strangers who didn’t want you there and expected it all to sort out? Give Max a room of his own for a few days so everyone can get used to everyone else and know there’s enough food for all before you let them all run wild. It is absolutely not true that all animals will sort themselves out.
Cjcat
I am pulling for you, John. He is such a beauty. I personally have never succeeded in blending a male adult cat, neutered or not, in with another cat. I introduce dogs the slow way and have never failed at integrating them into the pack. I feel you need to get a sense of the newcomer’s personality before unsupervised freedom.
That being said, I think your attitude has much to do with it and your group is use to multi pet and multi species. So if you are laid back about, they should be too.
xjmuellerlurks
As long as Max isn’t de-clawed and can protect himself, the critters will figure it out. We’ve introduced new cats and dogs into our house without special procedures. We only have one who doesn’t mix with the other cats. She doesn’t have front claws. Coco lives in our bedroom, away from the other cats. She and our one remaining pooch get along – at an arms length.
SW
Don’t be heartbroken if Steve never really warms to the new guy. I’ve had that experience several times. Always thinking that the older cat would eventually welcome the newbie. Sometimes toleration is about all you can hope for. But you never know.
Skepticat
I too always wanted a black cat, but I’ve happily had to accept what shows up and chooses me. Max is gawgus! You’re spot on about litter boxes (I’m up to four). If you’re not already familiar with it, may I suggest you research the Tidy Cats Breeze litter system? It has reusable pellets rather than litter litter, and it’s been much better economically and in terms of effort.
Looking forward to ongoing cat tales.
Anonymous At Work
How much are tickets to the observation galley? Any left at this point?
debit
I hope you’re right, John, but my experience is that you must have a plan.
I have five cats. Three of them live upstairs with me, the other two stay on the lower level with my daughter. I would love to have all of them living happily together, but my three are all assholes and will attack the other two if given the chance. They have all lived in the same house for 6 years.
I’m repeating this: THEY HAVE LIVED IN THE SAME HOUSE FOR SIX YEARS. They will never figure it out and get along. NEVER. I’ve done everything every expert has recommended, tried every calming product, yes, even that one, and they just won’t get along.
As other above have suggested, please give Max a room to himself at first. Let him first settle in and have a place he can feel safe and smell out the other animals behind a closed door. Let Steve figure out there’s another cat in the house and sniff him out. After a few days, Max will have acquired the “pack” smell and will not seem as much of a threat. Max will let you know when he’s ready to explore beyond his room. Then you can open the door and see how introductions go, but that’s recklessly fast in my book.
I don’t mean to sound hectoring or bossy, but Max didn’t ask to be brought into your home. You are bringing him there and putting into a new and scary environment. The kindest thing you can do is make it safe for him and less scary. How bad are you going to feel if Steve and he fight and one of them is seriously injured, and you could have avoided it simply by going slow?
Cjcat
One of my tricks might help. I pet the new pet and immediately pet one of the pack. Making them smell like each other seems to work.
bluejersey43 (fka texasboyshaun)
@schrodingers_cat: Happy Diwali!
So my new city in Jersey has a large Indian population, and 2022 is the first year that the schools are closed to celebrate Diwali. This week we had Diwali decorations (such as a giant Ganesh that the kids colored) alongside Halloween ones. There was also a celebration at the school with foods and sweets and the kids also made diya lamps.
I love the diversity here, though living somewhere that isn’t dominated by Bible-thumping bigots will take some getting used to.
TriassicSands
@randy khan:
Generally speaking, adult cats are more likely to accept a kitten than another adult cat. But cats are individuals.
debit
@TriassicSands:
That’s been my experience as well. Asshole cat Oliver accepted Julian as a kitten, taught him his asshole ways, and they both accepted Dani as a kitten.
BruceJ
@Ten Bears: We’ve started taking our dogs to a new-to-us dog park and have met a a nice woman who named her dog “Deogee”
And the ‘just toss ’em into the house and they’ll work it out’ strategy has done us well through four cats and seven dogs, so far.
Jude
I too feel optimistic about your cats getting along, but still hope you create an introductory barrier. It’s all about the smells with cats. One great tip I got was to exchange towels the cats had slept on to each other during their introductory, separated time in the house. It allowed them to get used to the smell before seeing the cat that made it.
Watch some Jackson Galaxy tips. His techniques have me living with 3 very happy kitties. https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jackson+galaxy+introducing+cats+
Paul in KY
@cbear: The Colonel had it right, IMO!