My husband has been afflicted with poor eyesight from birth, poor thing. He’s worn glasses ever since he can remember and appears as an adorable bespectacled child in old family photos.
He also has a lifelong habit of smashing up and losing his glasses. His mom reports it was a real issue when he was a boy, a thing his dad yelled at him for a lot. It remains an issue. The mister works outdoors, often on heavy equipment, and has managed to crush, run over, perforate and otherwise destroy glasses in countless ways.
It’s expensive and inconvenient because he has a complex, bifocal prescription with thick lenses that take a while to replace. Thank dog for Zenni, a mail order glasses outfit — they’re relatively inexpensive, so the mister’s glasses-destroying habits are no longer such a serious hit to our budget. He always has to have backup glasses in case he loses or breaks a pair and someone with better near-vision (me) to tighten the screws on the frames, etc., frequently. I always keep a kit handy.
So, he’s due for an eye exam next week and is down to two rickety, beat-up pairs, one of which is partially held together with a twisty-tie from a bread bag. He was wearing the “good” pair without the twisty-tie last night, and while he was horsing around with the dogs, they fell off his face and hit the floor, and both lenses popped out of the frames.
I’ve worn glasses myself for decades and that has never happened to me, but whatever — he put the spares on while I attempted to fix the ejected lenses. I also noticed the lenses were filthy, so I snapped the lenses back in, cleaned them and put the glasses down since he was wearing the other pair.
This morning while driving to work, he wondered what was wrong with his eyes because his vision was bad. He wondered if his retinas were detaching or something. By the time he got to work, he had an awful headache. Turns out he was wearing the pair I’d repaired and cleaned, and I had transposed the lenses while popping them back in, which given the shape shouldn’t have been possible, but it was. The end.
Open thread!
JPL
This is the post that I needed to take my mind off the election. Thank your husband.
zhena gogolia
Wow, this is a new one on me!
Math Guy
My daughter and I went to vote early today. It was the first time she was eligible to vote: I am so proud of her.
Old School
Glad he was able to determine the issue!
Back in high school, I used to lose contacts all the time – mostly while playing sports. My parents helped the optometrist get a new boat.
CaseyL
Guess Mr. Cracker doesn’t want to look like a middle-aged librarian by wearing one of those lanyard-tie thingies? Because those would help a bit.
I need OTC readers, and it is amazing how fast I go through them, mostly by losing them. (Though I sometimes find a small clutch of the things, under papers or in dresser drawers.) I try to buy them by the pack.
I’ve also found it’s near impossible to put a screw back in when the temples fall off. It’s not just they’re so damned small, the angle is impossible. Much better to tighten the screws periodically than try to put one of the blasted things back in place!
Baud
I feel like this is the origin story of some superhero comic.
Baud
@Math Guy:
👍
Glad to hear it. We were talking this morning about youth turnout. Glad your daughter is doing her part.
Chief Oshkosh
Just voted early. Boatloads of people. Lots of young people. Very stupid. I told them they’re wasting their time. They kicked my ass.
The kids are all right.
*only some of this is true. :)
karen marie
@CaseyL: I’m not sure you’re clear on the problem. A lanyard would probably result in additional injuries to glasses and self. Hahaha.
Redshift
I’ve had the lenses pop out of glasses many times, including my current sunglasses. It depends on the type of frames, with some it isn’t possible.
I currently have perfect distance vision in one eye through the magic of cataract surgery, and good reading vision in the other eye, so I don’t wear glasses any more except for driving. Before my recent eye doctor appointment, I felt like it was more effort to read the computer screen, so he have me a reading prescription (mostly for the other eye, so it can help out.)
I was waffling about it, but then I thought to look up prescription monocles! I have one on order, and soon will be reading very stylishly!
JaneE
I have never had both lenses pop out, but I have lost a single one several times. Of course the more times you pop it back in the more likely it is to pop out again. One of my eyes is much weaker than the other, and back in the days of glass lenses the thicker one would barely fit in the frames, so of course it was the one that always popped out.
I carry an eyeglass screwdriver in my purse, and have a kit handy. My husband’s glasses are the ones I need to tighten regularly, and occasionally replace a lost screw.
CapnAndy
One day I got sick of breaking the latest in a long string of glasses (I believe I’d rolled over these on my sleep) and so when I went to the glasses store to replace them, I asked “what’s the sturdiest pair you got” and ended up buying frames made out of, I kid you not, literally titanium.
That was about two decades ago.
Just a suggestion.
Jackie
Too many times I’ve taken my contacts out, only to discover my glasses aren’t where I thought they were. And, too many times I’ve had to put my contacts back in to find the misplaced glasses. The life of being legally blind.
WaterGirl
oh, Betty, it’s an awesome story, but horrible that your husband had all that worry.
I agree; it should not be possible for the lenses to fit in the wrong spot. he’s the bread baker in the family, I believe, but perhaps you can make him his favorite sweet treat to help dull the memory?
Betty Cracker
It drives me nuts that he can wear glasses that are so smudged and dirty that it looks like a herd of miniature swine used them for a dinner trough. If one speck of dust lands on one of my lenses, I have to whip them off and clean them immediately. And I’m not at all a neat freak — quite the opposite in every other way! But I cannot stand to look through dirt!
Ohio Mom
One day Mr. Cracker can get cataract surgery and choose what level of vision he wants. I think most nearsighted people choose to have 20/20 vision but I went with preserving my near vision. Which the opthamologist didn’t quite grok.
Anyway, it’s something for Mr. C to look forward to.
Finally voted today. The Board of Elections was doing a brisk business though in the middle of a weekday, it was oldsters standing in the cubbies marking their ballots.
Almost Retired
@Baud: I shall vanquish all evildoers with laser beams from my Switched-Lenses of Death….
Alison Rose
My oldest brother was born with one crossed nearly all the way in, and he had to wear thick glasses from the time he was old enough to keep them on his face, until he had an eye operation at 13. The old photos of him as a little boy, with those big glasses and his mop of curly hair and a tie-dye t-shirt, are so freaking cute. Although I’m sure he busted more than a few pairs, too.
Tony Jay
Oh Gawd, this post speaks to me.
I once broke my only pair of glasses and had to wait a few days for a new pair of lenses to be carved in situ out of the crystalline peaks that float atop the mystical city of Blindo Batto.
In the interim I carried the surviving lens around with me like a half-finished monocle. Peering through it in the manner of an elderly jeweller or a surprisingly handsome octopus. Friends would shout me from across the room just to get me to revolve in that direction and painstakingly align my eye with the lens. Then they would laugh, because I have bad friends.
Anyway. Good memories.
Spanky
@Betty Cracker: That just means he can’t see much better with clean lenses than cruddy ones. I hope he’s also getting his retinas checked out.
bbleh
@Betty Cracker: As to the falling-off-your-head thing, may I suggest a cheap glasses-retainer such as runners and other athletes use? It’s a soft, slightly stretchy band of adjustable length, with little elastic grab-on receptacles that fit over the temples of the glasses, that you fit to go around your head without squeezing. They’re usually so comfortable you almost don’t notice them, and your glasses basically CAN’T fall off. I’ve seen ’em for just a couple bucks at the Walmart optometrist display, and I’m sure there’s about 85 varieties available online. (And the colors, oh the colors! Also black.)
TKH
Loctite is your friend for these miserable little screws on frames, screws you can’t see without your glasses and you are without your glasses because you are working on them. My hiking glasses used to disgorge the lenses frequently until I came up with the loctite solution. Problem solved!
stinger
Great story, Betty Cracker!
I’ve been a corrective-lens wearer for 60 years and have a few stories, but I only dropped in to complain about NPR. About an hour ago, some “news” program interviewed a guy who started off by saying how UNUSUAL it is to have a SPEECH so close to an ELECTION by a PARTISAN FIGURE. I screamed, “He’s the f-ing PRESIDENT, you Republican mouthpiece! Orange Naugahyde Blob spoke at campaign rallies all through the run-up to elections during his befoulment of the White House–were you busy deploring THAT?” and switched to a classical music station.
I hate these people.
kalakal
When I was a kid the lenses were glass. They broke easily and it took the best part of 2 weeks to get a working pair of glasses. I really hated the damn things
Ruckus
I am up to 61 yrs of wearing glasses. I did wear contacts for some time and I liked them – once they were in or out. But then I had to ALSO wear old fart reading glasses. I tried bifocals – once. So now I wear glasses, basically every moment I am awake. Other than in the shower. For some reason they don’t work in there….. I have 4 pair of reading glasses, kitchen, computer, bathroom, car. It’s tough to shave with crap close vision or in the reading position without glasses or read labels at the store. I wear glasses when I’m awake is the basic concept. I think my nickname is 12 eyes – and no I do not appreciate it. I am however used to it. Oh and of course as I’ve reached the age of geezer old fart, I have cataracts. Isn’t life just grand! OK just grand may be leaving out a word or two dozen, all of which are not acceptable on even an adult blog…..
My condolences to anyone who has to wear glasses to be able to operate as even approaching human.
Ixnay
Yep, just voted and dropped off Dr Ms Ixnays ballot. Coming back from the dump, the usual forest of political signs was out, in this case Paul LePage on down the ethno fascist ticket. Lo and behold, at the end of the line was a new sign simply saying “You’re part of a Cult.” Fookin brill.
Origuy
I have had a lot of trouble with those little screws coming loose. For some reason, the manufacturers like to make the frames with the head of the screws on the underside, so that gravity pulls them loose. I never have trouble if the head is on the top.
VOR
@CapnAndy: I bought my clumsy son titanium frames. They were lightweight and durable. I found it an excellent idea and wish that had been an option in my youth.
I’ve swapped contact lenses between eyes in the past. I wish there was some visible means of differentiating them. Not an issue for me anymore after eye surgery.
zhena gogolia
@Betty Cracker: I’m like you, but it goes back to my first year in college, when a senior girl I idolized looked at me in the dining hall and said (loudly), “Your glasses are filthy!”
Now, many, many years later, I get commendations from my eye doctor about the beautiful state of my glasses.
Juju
Have you considered Lasik for your husband? I had Lasik in 2016 and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I used to spend $400+ for the very basic of glasses, because I was so nearsighted. I was so nearsighted that when laser surgery first became available, I was too nearsighted. Now it’s a quick computerized procedure that corrects your vision in seconds. I do need readers now, but I can buy cheap readers and if I lose, step on, drive over or a dog runs off with them, I go to the grocery store and buy a pair or order something really cute from readers.com. I love it.
Juju
Well that was weird. My comment didn’t appear.
OzarkHillbilly
I have to wear reading glasses now. I have a pair at my desk (computer). I have a pair on the couch side table (books). I have a pair in the kitchen (recipes). I have a pair in my truck (for reading my book while waiting for people to finally show up). I have a pair in my wife’s car (for reading while she is driving). In short I have a pair everywhere I might possibly need some.
And yet… I lose them.
Just now I came up and my glasses weren’t in the case they are supposed to be in. “Damn it, I’ll bet I left them in the kitchen again.” Went downstairs and, NOPE! Grabbed the kitchen pair and came back upstairs and what do I espy? My reading glasses, right there on my desk.
Wha’dya wanna bet that in an or 2 when I dig up the recipe for the Chicken Masala I’m making for dinner, the first words out of my mouth will be, “Where in da fuck are my glasses???”
Quiltingfool
I mailed #25 Ukraine blocks today! So glad they’re going to new homes!
Keep an eye on your mailbox (I sent them first class):
GB, 13000, LS, Sacrableu, SkyBluePink, Lodger/NoOneYouKnow, CarolWP and Watergirl
Chetan Murthy
Zenni (and these other mail-order places) are quite something. Instead of $600 for glasses from my local optometrist, it’s $35. At that price, I can order several pairs, and when I get down to the last one, order several more.
I mean, I want to support my local optometrist: but $600 ? That’s a lotta support.
patrick II
@WaterGirl:
I’m thinking Harry Potter glasses.
@WaterGirl:
Geminid
@stinger: Republicans are hypocrites, but that is not exactly breaking news.
So now they’ve got this thing about what Democrats are and are not allowed to do within 90 days of an election. Meanwhile, their own people are manically breaking every norm possible, even norms no one ever conceived of before.
Fleeting Expletive
Lordy I’ve had to wear glasses or contacts since I was six. Had lens implants years ago, and then about ten years ago really damaged my right eye and the iris couldn’t be saved, but the implant in the other eye compensates pretty well. It does look weird and I worry about scaring little kids sometimes, because of the one dark eye, but I just go about my life without thinking much about it.
Miss Bianca
@Chetan Murthy: You do have to go to an optometrist to get the prescription first, tho, right? Maybe I will finally get around to doing that in 2023. Cheap glasses ordered online sounds pretty awesome.
WaterGirl
@patrick II: You might be right.
Quiltingfool
@OzarkHillbilly: I buy reading glasses in packs of 3. They are everywhere in the house!
I did spring for 2 pairs of prescription reading glasses, thinking they might be better than the cheap ones. They work about as well as the cheapies, but I have to remember to push them all the way up on my nose, not perched on the end of my nose!
I found that glaring over my reading glasses at unruly students was a silent, very effective way of stopping poor behavior choices, lol!
eclare
Voted yesterday!
I wear contacts and readers. My readers are currently perched at the tip of my nose because both of the side pieces (can’t think of the name) have fallen off. Luckily readers are fairly cheap. This pair was kind of pretty, enough of that, I am going back to a sturdier pair, plain black.
UncleEbeneezer
M. Bouffant
I’m w/ the mister: One of my lenses is currently held in w/ a paper clip.
eclare
@VOR: I have never swapped contacts between eyes, but I have put them in inside out. Very frustrating. I wish there were some marking that said “this side up” or some such.
M. Bouffant
@eclare: Temples.
eclare
@M. Bouffant: Thanks!
Jackie
@VOR: When hard lenses were the only option for contacts, the right lens had a small black dot on the edge. If one looked closely you could see it move with every blink.
My vision used to be very different in each eye, so if my contacts got transposed I couldn’t see. Now they’re virtually the same prescription so there’s no *right* or *left* lenses.
Geminid
@UncleEbeneezer: Those fu*&ing Intercept assholes…sometimes I think they’re even worse than those jerks at Jerkobin.
Ken
@Baud: I was thinking a Columbo plot.
“Oh, just one more thing, Mrs. Cracker. Can you think what caused your husband to miss the turn and drive into the swamp, when he was wearing his glasses?”
oatler
Monocles are coming back!
Another Scott
Glasses are amazing things. I’ve worn them since I was 10 or so. My J and her twin have worn them longer, and they also wear contacts. I cannot stand anything in/on my eye, so that never appealed to me. She told me a story once of trying to take out her contacts for a while before realizing that she had taken them out earlier… Eeeewww… ;-)
In other news, …
[…]
People (on average) always, always, always, respond to incentives. And the idea that economic incentives are the self-evidently correct way to protect fundamental rights, or the health of the planet, or democracy and self-government, or progress in general, cannot be accepted without question. Economics is a human construct – not some eternal truth like the theory of gravity. It’s important to remember that, I think.
(via jonrog1)
Cheers,
Scott.
Bobby Thomson
My grandparents accidentally put on each other’s glasses once. Good times.
Jackie
@Another Scott: “She told me a story once of trying to take out her contacts for a while before realizing that she had taken them out earlier…” Done that often – usually after a shower and I think I’ve smudged them. They aren’t smudged – my vision is blurry because…🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Skepticat
True dat! After many decades of blundering around, I went from being almost legally blind in one eye and barely able to see out of the other to not needing glasses for distance. I did pay a painfully high price for the super-duper lenses that were supposed to give me great near and far vision. They didn’t. I do need drugstore cheaters for reading, but that’s fine. However, now I can’t see to drive after dusk, and my regular ophthalmologist explained the high-tech lenses are partially to blame, so I warn people to save their money. All that said, I’m a fan of cataract surgery and the resultant freedom.
Geoduck
It’s already been noted, but I will never buy a pair of frames that are held together with screws. (Except for the earpiece attachment.) Because yes, they come loose and the lenses fall out. Ditto nosepads, those are just one more source of inconvenience and expense.
Been wearing glasses since kindergarten; the teacher sent home a note saying I couldn’t see the blackboard…
MattF
It’s cataract surgery + reading glasses for me. The excitement came during a year or so of surgery— first scraping lesions off my corneas, one eye at a time, then a year later, cataract surgery, one eye at a time. Then, five years later, laser ‘fixup’ one eye at a time. The corneal surgery made my vision much worse, but correctable. A local optician agreed, for the price of a single pair, to supply new lenses for my glasses when I needed them.
stinger
@Geminid: Yep.
West of the Rockies
OT call for help… my sheepadoodle has (according to the groomer) a yeast infection in her floppy ears. The vet can’t see her for two weeks. Does anyone have an effective home remedy? I see someone online suggests one part apple cider vinegar to three parts water via a rubber syringe. Anybody try that?
Miss Bianca
@Ken: LOL!!
stacib
@Chetan Murthy: Funny, I was having a conversation with my mom today about the cost of my glasses. I need a new pair, but sheesh, $500+ is generally what I’m out when it’s all said and done. The triple lens are super expensive.
jackmac
I honestly thought you were going to reveal he experienced improved eyesight because you cleaned the glasses!
Aaron
zenni is da bomb. I have been buying glasses from them annually for like 10 years or more. I wear strong prescription progressives (no line trifocals) and I prefer photochromatic and glasses wind up costing just over 100 dollars. the bad: delivery is most of a month. and I’ve never broken a pair.
problem is that now that china has imposed chinese law instead of real law on hong kong.
is there an alternative that doesnt support a despotic regime?
Baud
@UncleEbeneezer: Since when has the Intercept been a respectable publication?
WaterGirl
@West of the Rockies: My advice is for you to find a vet that can get your dog in sooner.
Your groomer may know there’s a problem but even Henry’s dermatologist can tell what’s going on in his ears without checking for yeast, bacteria, mites, etc.
I would seriously suggest that you find someone who can see your pup by Monday or Tuesday.
Jackie
I hate to sully this post, but this made me chortle out loud: NY judge orders Trump Org must be monitored by 3rd party.
”In discussing how lawyers for the Trump Organization claimed his 10,996 square foot Trump Tower Triplex was 30,000 square feet, the judge wrote in a footnote, “it belies all common sense to assert that Mr. Trump, who resided in the Triplex for over 35 years and who purports to be ‘one of the top businesspeople’ was not aware that he was over-representing the size of his home by nearly 200%.”
“The judge ruled the defendants, “are hereby preliminary enjoined from selling, transferring, or otherwise disposing of any non-cash asset listed on the 2021 Statement of Financial Condition of Donald J. Trump.””
“”This Court will appoint an independent monitor, to be paid by defendants, for the purpose of ensuring compliance with this order,” the judge wrote.”
https://www.rawstory.com/trump-org-outside-monitor/
Steeplejack
@bbleh:
Something like this. I used to wear them when I played racquetball and squash. (Other options down the page.)
UncleEbeneezer
@Geminid: Yup. Once in a blue moon they do go investigative reporting on policing. But anything that even remotely touches on Biden, Dems, Politics etc., their biases are just impossible to ignore. Like Jacobin they just have such a hate-boner for Dems.
J R in WV
My dad used to tell of how back in Kindergarten in the 1920s the teacher checked everyone’s vision, and said “Why Dad, your eyes are bad!” but didn’t say “Tell your parents!” so he didn’t.
Years later on he was in the big city with his dad, and asked where is the business office of a business he was standing outside of. So I got my eyes checked early and often. They sucked vision wise.
Now I too have the beginnings of cataracts, and am waiting until they are fit for removal. Also have glaucoma, dueling eye drops, laser surgery also. So far, so good.
UncleEbeneezer
@Baud: See my response to Geminid above. They’ve done a couple deep dives on policing that were good. But that’s about it.
artem1s
I had an optician transpose my prescription once and ended up with the right and left eye swapped. I noticed as soon as I put them on. Asshat tried to claim my eyes had changed since the order went in. Dumbass thought I wouldn’t have a copy of the ophthalmologist prescription on me to compare the order to. This was back in the day when it could take a month to fill a new prescription.
SkyBluePink
Walking up a deserted forest service road with the dogs. No cell service. Suddenly, my vision changes. Am I having a stroke? An aneurysm? Would the dogs find help?
Nope, just a lens that had fallen out.
Baud
@UncleEbeneezer: The NYT does good reporting too. Except when they don’t.
We oppose the right when they peddle in anti-government conspiracies. We should be consistent.
Martin
@Another Scott: There’s a book about this. It’s from the 80s, by the guy who coined the term ‘collective action problem’. Sometimes I wonder if these folks writing academic papers would be well served by reading outside of their narrow area.
Geminid
@UncleEbeneezer: These people like to present as allies. I call them Copperheads
Martin
@Baud: No, their reporting is good. Their prioritization of what and how to report is bad. It’s not that they’re lying to us, but they demand to tell us unimportant things are important and important things are unimportant. And sometimes they simply fail to tell us anything we need to know at all.
They’re good until they come in contact with editorial policy and staff, and then everything goes to shit.
OzarkHillbilly
@West of the Rockies: They sell over the counter ear cleaning solution at my vet. You should be able to do find the same.
UncleEbeneezer
@Baud: Agreed. I also think the Intercept is pro-Dis/Misinformation in a larger, more general sense. It’s trash. Which is another reason I don’t waste my time reading it. I only stumbled across this article on Twitter and thought it might be useful for anyone here who has Intercept-curious people in their lives.
schrodingers_cat
@Martin: Oh please their politics desk is garbage and reflexively anti-D. Its the home of the two biggest Trump enabler Maga Habermann and Peter Baker.
SkyBluePink
@Quiltingfool:
Wonderful! Sunflower Cat will join my Happy Cat.
Thank you so much for ALL you do.
Scout211
Deleted
UncleEbeneezer
@Martin: The link I shared goes through the Intercept article point by point and shows that it is pretty damn intentionally misleading at best, bordering on straight-up lies.
Roger Moore
I feel seen. I once lost a screw out of my glasses while on vacation, and the nearest optometrist was far enough out of the way I didn’t want to disrupt the trip by taking time to get the glasses fixed. I was thankfully staying in a motel instead of camping, so I extracted a staple from the in-room magazine and used the pliers on my multi-tool to wire it into my glasses frame. It worked great, and that repurposed staple worked until it was time to get a new pair. My emergency kit now includes a small glasses repair kit as well as a multi-tool.
schrodingers_cat
@Geminid: They are not allies. Ds in Nevada are in tough races thanks to the DSA takeover of the local party. They changed the party symbol to a guillotine.
Martin
I’ve only ever broken a pair of glasses once in 40 years of wearing them – that was when I passed out and hit a tile floor face-first. I cannot fathom how someone can break glasses that are attached to their face without doing themselves significant personal harm. And I do a fair bit of carpentry and other physical activity. But then, Ms Martin can scarcely go 3 hours without losing her phone. That too is a mystery to me.
Martin
@Roger Moore: Should add a stapler.
M. Bouffant
@artem1s: Had an ophthalmologist or the lab copy the prescription incorrectly. I called to tell them it was wrong & got the old “Oh, it’ll take a day or two for your eyes to adjust.” I knew it was wrong, & finally convinced them.
Another Scott
@Aaron: I got my last 2 pairs of glasses from EyeBuyDirect. They’re owned by the giant EssilorLuxottica vision conglomerate.
I was very, very happy with the quality and price (non-microscopic-size progressives).
Cheers,
Scott.
Martin
@UncleEbeneezer: I was referring to the NYT there. Sorry about the confusion.
Related, I’m very dismayed at the ProPublica/VF Chinese lab reporting because it’s kind of bullshit, and ProPublica is my most go-to trusted reporting source.
Baud
@Martin:
Anne Laurie noted that in one of the Covid threads. I was also taken aback.
Steeplejack
@UncleEbeneezer:
Martin’s comment is about the New York Times.
Grumpy Old Railroader
Reminds me of a great railroad tale if slightly off topic. This was told to me by an old hoghead (locomotive engineer) about when he was a young fireman and may even be true.
So we got called on an empty north drag in the middle of the night. I was firing the steam engine and HB “Honey Bee” Buese was the hoghead. We finally got the highball from the herder at the east end of Roseville and Honeybee eased out on the throttle so’s we could stretch out the train without the water bottle in the caboose being jerked off of the ice box and busting up on the floor.
As we entered the main line, Honey Bee widened the throttle but all the while he was complaining about his new false teeth not fitting right. Every time we took the hole (go into a siding track to let an opposing train go by) he would take out his pocket knife and whittle a bit on his false teeth. We finally got to Gerber and handed off the train to the next crew and went to the bunk house to hit the sack. Later that night we got called for a heavy southbound manifest to take back to Roseville and we all headed down to the local beanery to take on water and coal (coffee and food). All the while, Honey Bee is still whining about his sore gums. Anyways, we made it back to Roseville and same story, every siding we took, Honey Bee was whittling on his new teeth.
So the next day we get called bright and early on a clear cold winter day to take a hay train back north and again, Honey Bee is the hoghead and I’m the fireman. I keep glancing over at Honey Bee but he ain’t said a word about his false teeth so we just do our job and pretty soon we are clipping along at track speed with nothing but clear signals ahead of us. Finally my curiosity got the better of me and I ask Ol’ Honey Bee how his new teeth were fitting. Honey Bee glanced over at me and the young head brakeman and sighed, “Wall, come to find out when I got home last trip my wife was mad as a hornet. Ya see, when I got up in the middle of the night and stumbled into the bathroom, I accidentally took her false teeth instead of my own.”
Like I say, there might even be some truth in that story.
RaflW
Seemingly nothing compared to the Cracker household, but eyeglasses are a lengthy, and often expensive saga around here. Add in a recent diagnosis of dry eye that might get better with a $500/mo eyedrop (on the formulary, but at full copay until the deductible is met) and we’re really just exasperated.
Still, compared to the days of yore, we’re thankful for ability to see (pretty) clearly.
BenCisco 🇺🇸🎖️🖥️♦️
I’ve worn glasses for so long (I think since kindergarten) that I don’t remember being without them. Eyesight just bad enough that Lasik isn’t an option.
Dan B
I’ve had glasses since the second grade teacher saw me squinting – strong astigmatism. And yet I’m not required to wear glasses for driving. Weird.
My partner is legally blind or nearly so. His glass glasses were nearly 1/2″ thick at the edges. We’re very careful with our glasses. I’m encouraging him to try zenni since his last pair from Costco were $400. He drags me along to Costco because he cannot see how the frames look on him. I’ve resisted the temptation to prank him.
Baud
@Grumpy Old Railroader:
Nice.
PatrickG
@Roger Moore: this is the wrong thread for feeling SEEN! ;)
West of the Rockies
@OzarkHillbilly:
I will check. Thank you, Watergirl, too! I will see if the vet can see her on an urgent basis.
Ruviana
@Ruckus: You might consider cataract surgery. I just got it done and now only need glasses for reading. The change was pretty startling!
Jackie
Great news! CNN is reporting Paul Pelosi has been released from the hospital!
docNC
This is such an entertaining read. On many levels…
I know Betty Cracker is not my wife, but they are twin daughters from different mothers, it sounds like.
I had both eyes done for cataracts; the second two days ago. What a cool thing.
My first drive without corrective lenses ever was to the local VFD to vote.
And it’s a beaut fall day in Waxhaw.
Baud
@Jackie:
👍
satby
@Betty Cracker: sounds like he’s nearsighted and because the lenses minimize to push the image back to the retina, it also minimizes our perception of smutz on lenses. You sound like your base Rx is farsighted, that magnifies and makes smudges and dust more noticeable.
Matt McIrvin
A few years ago, one of my glasses lenses popped out while I was on the cogwheel train down from the top of Pikes Peak. Being at 14,000 feet altitude turns out to affect me so that I’m basically slightly drunk (I’d discovered that on an attempt to climb Longs Peak decades earlier). So I was a bit mentally impaired. But I thought my vision was blurred in one eye because of some strange effect of the hypoxia. It turned out what had actually happened was that one of the lenses had dropped out and slid all the way to the downslope end of the dramatically tilted train car. Someone found it there but it was too scratched up to be usable, so we had to make an emergency trip to a LensCrafters in Colorado Springs.
Sure Lurkalot
I’ve worn glasses since the 3rd grade. I wore contacts pretty regularly from 8th grade (hard lenses) and soft until the presbyopia hit me (rather late, early 50’s). I couldn’t get used to reading glasses so I just reverted back to glasses.
In addition to my excellent (read uber expensive) taste in frames, my prescription is heavy duty and I pay extra for thin lenses and other bells and whistles so I don’t look too nerdy.
So, anywhere from $400 to $1,000.
My prescription is out of date so next time I go in, I think I will try mail order for a spare pair. It seems that many of you like that option!
Lady WereBear
Voted today! With the mister. Then retrieved Sir Tristan from the cat dentist, a tooth extraction spotted at his senior cat checkup.
Since I sedated him at midnight he’s been hopped up on something or other. Now a 24 hour painkiller. Yet he is still elaborately turning his back on me. Sigh.
Martin
Sweet Jesus, can we bottle you?
satby
@Chetan Murthy: the only problem with Zenni is that if you have a more complicated Rx they’re not always going to get it right. But for probably 75% of glasses, they’re fine.
Glasses frames, Optical shops, many affiliated Optometrists in LensCrafters (not the one I work for) and Pearle, etc. are all owned by the multinational monopoly Luxotica. The Saudis of the optometric world.
satby
@Jackie: one of the most common causes of corneal abrasion.
Martin
Oh, bit of advice. We recently updated our eye insurance on the CA marketplace and VSP offers a plan *off the marketplace* that is potentially cheaper/better than what’s on the marketplace. VSP offers a ‘New Every 2’ plan that covers annual checkups but only covers new glasses every other year. We have pretty slow changing prescriptions so we normally get glasses every other year, so it’s kind of perfect for us and if you can stick to that schedule will be a fair sight (ha!) cheaper than their normal exchange plans.
It can be a bit hard to find though. You’ll need a bit of aggressive googling and I think it only shows up if you’re logged into a VSP account.
BlueGuitarist
@Betty Cracker:
My memory sometimes plays tricks on me but iirc the blogfather has a similar aversion to smudged glasses and wanted to reach thru the TV set to clean the glasses of the vips and talking heads, other than Chris Hayes who apparently had spotless glasses. Maybe mine are too smudged to notice such things.
The Golux
Betty, perhaps this is too late, but you should look into Clic glasses. They hang around your neck when not in use, separated at the bridge of the nose, then held in place by magnets when in use. You can have them made to a prescription.
C Stars
@Martin: That’s actually the only option we were offered through Cal. I go through glasses quickly (prescription changes and rough wear) as well as really needing my prescription for for daytime driving (sunglasses) so it kind of sucks for me. I end up having to go the Costco route every other year.
David 🌈☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch
I have thyroid disease which makes my eyes bulge out. And when I were my glasses they look 4 times bigger, but I have no choice they don’t have contacts in my size (photo)
jonas
As stories go, it’s not quite up there with Cole leaving the house the other day w/o realizing he was only in his boxers, but pretty good.
C Stars
@Jackie: That just gave me whatever the opposite of ASMR is.
UncleEbeneezer
@Martin: Ah okay, gotcha.
Feathers
Got glasses at 40. Eye doctor told me he was surprised I could read given the largish coloboma in my right eye. Nope, read fine, but I’m thinking it may be the cause of some of my weird brain glitches. A coloboma is basically the eye’s version of a cleft lip.
Anyway, may I put in a plug for my online pal René Brooks of Black Girl, Lost Keys online store? She’s a Black, queer, ADHD coach who also has an online store selling stuff ADHD people may find useful, including these great glasses holders, which stand upright and are fuzzy on the inside to protect your lenses. They come in multiple colors so different household members can have their own color, or different colors for reading and distance glasses https://blackgirllostkeys.com/product-tag/eyeglass-holder/
There are also mugs, ebooks, and fidget toys and gadgets, if you should desire such things.
Jackie
@C Stars: HA! I’ve worn contacts for 55 years, so touching naked eyeballs is no biggy for me. Comes in handy when a stray cat hair or such gets in my eye.
Kay
He’s still lying. His “friends wife” doesn’t exist and no one told him this. He just made the entire anecdote up.
The funniest part is Tulsi Gabbard, who met this ridiculous claim with the same bobblehead nodding and (oddly frozen) face she always wears. She knows what Ukraine is doing and should be doing – a whole country! – but she’s enough of a moron hack to believe public schools have litterboxes.
Kay
My youngest had thick glasses as a kid – he still has glasses, but super thin lenses which are an amazing invention. His squint and how he would tip his head was adorable.
mrmoshpotato
@David 🌈☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch: I’m sensing a photo theme today. T-30 minutes.
C Stars
@Feathers: Wow, those are great little functional objects. Thanks for the tip!
mrmoshpotato
The joys of wearing glasses. I lost 2 or 3 pairs in the lake as a kid.
Martin
@C Stars: Interesting. My UC plan was for glasses every year (which I don’t think I ever did), all of the exchange plans cover every year. I had to go off exchange to get this plan.
prostratedragon
Been wearing glasses since I was 3 — amblyopia plus plain old nearsightedness. Don’t recall outright breaking any, but did have one pair with a lens that kept popping out, mainly from a fashionable but unwise choice of frame.
However, here’s how my life goes: was leaving an after school visit to the old main library on Washington Street in Chicago and headed for the bus on Michigan when some young fellow dashed by me and snatched my glasses right off my face. Self-protection beat out instinct, so I went back into the library to call family and let them know I was groping my way home. At that time, bus marquees were pretty small, but the one to my neighborhood was a different color, so I didn’t seem conspicuously lost. My mother, fresh from work, intercepted that bus so we could walk the last blocks safely. The optometrist rushed a pair in only about 2 days, which is some kind of world record for my prescription, apparently. That’s one time I got a second pair right away.
The Lodger
@Quiltingfool: Thanks QF, we’ll be on the lookout!
Jinchi
Thousands of years from now, a young archeologist will write a dissertation on the ancient ritual sacrifice of your glasses to the Lady of the Lake.
lurker
so i got through part of the comments and did not see this mentioned…
one friend who had glasses used to be able to switch the lenses by inverting them – both lenses pop out, if you put them in backwards, each lens fits in the spot where the other lens should be. that may be what happened, and it would really screw up his vision in pretty much any situation.
have used croakies (lanyard type thing that holds on the back of the arms of the glasses and meets in the back) and they helped with situations like hiking or being in the lab.
SteverinoCT
My current frames are titanium. The ear pieces attach to the lenses and bend around without hinges. After you sit on them enough times, they *will* break, but otherwise very sturdy and light.
Also, while at the optometrist I see displays of sports glasses in silicone frames and wraparound straps— think Kareem, but more stylish these days. Designed for abuse.
RaflW
A friend was visiting us this summer at our family cabin. She took off her prescription sunglasses and put them on the deck of the swim raft. Of course, when she reached up to get them back, she fumbled and they fell in the lake.
The water here is of good quality, but low clarity. And the bottom is very soft, light silt (part of why the clarity is poor – wakes, of which there are many, get the silt moving. This time of year with no boats, the clarity is 2-3X summer).
Anyway. My partner is tall and an avid swimmer. And a virgo. The glasses fell in about 5 1/2 feet of water, and the raft moves around a fair bit on its tether. BF step-bobbed a pattern for a good 20 minutes. He found a pair of old, ruined plain sunglasses, a beer can, and some other small junk. And her glasses!
It was quite the feat. (Didn’t go for the actual pun. But it’s right there if ya want it.)
Chris T.
@Betty Cracker:
I have somewhat the same issue. I’m quite nearsighted though so part of the problem is that the speck is in focus.
Steeplejack
I am finicky about my glasses being clean. These Zeiss lens wipes are good to have handy. (They’re individually wrapped.) They’re also good for the phone and tablet screens.
Chris T.
@Steeplejack: Costco carries them.
brantl
@CaseyL: LokTite, or a little bit of rubber cement.