Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

In my day, never was longer.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the gop

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

“But what about the lurkers?”

He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

I’m more Christian than these people and I’m an atheist.

Let’s finish the job.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

T R E 4 5 O N

Trump’s legal defense is going to be a dumpster fire inside a clown car on a derailing train.

No one could have predicted…

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

This fight is for everything.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Operation Turkey Was a Success

Operation Turkey Was a Success

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Operation Turkey Was a Success

Small gathering at the Cole household (Annie could not make it), and there were no injuries today other than I pulled a calf muscle stepping out of the shower and slipping a touch before catching myself. Everyone was happy with the food, although I personally though the gravy was too salty, and I made WAY too much stuffing and mashed potatoes. So another Thanksgiving has passed.

I was wiped out and just left after dinner and said “split up whatever you want and just throw the trays on my front porch I don’t want anything left over” and then went to the park to watch the deer and cool off. I had been hot all day and sitting in the park making some phone calls was a good time to cool down.

In other news, mom and dad gave all of us these plates we all made as kids and they held on to forever. I remember eating off it for YEARS as a kid. Here was mine:

Operation Turkey Was a Success 1

Some sort of critter between my legs, lots of flowers and an infatuation with birds, so it tracks. You’ll note I spelled my name backwards (I was called JG because my dad is also named John), and I have no idea why I wrote Eloc instead of Cole. Perhaps artistic license, but my mother said that for years they were concerned I was not very bright because in kindergarten I was screwing up JG Cole and my classmates were having no problem with theresa provenzao and kevin castellini and thaddaeus, etc.

I figured it out eventually.

My kitchen looks like a superfund site and I don’t give a shit I’ll deal with it tomorrow.

Reader Interactions

41Comments

  3. 3.

    John Cole

    @eclare: No- that is my mom and my mom only the rest of us had real cranberries with orange. She eats that crap and we mock her and even refused to cut it in slices for her just dumped it on a plate and shoved it in her direction

  4. 4.

    RandomMonster

    “Too much stuffing” is a myth along with The Big Lie, moderate Republicans, Bigfoot, Moth Man, reasonable Baltimore drivers, the entire state of Florida, birds.

  5. 5.

    Citizen Alan

    Ah yes, the traditional jiggling tower of cranberry sauce. What shudders it has given me over the years.

    Meanwhile, down here in Shitissippi, I managed to escape during halftime by complaining I ate too much and needed a nap. My turkey and Mac&Chese were both triumphant successes, while my deviled eggs were too runny and my Apple Cobbler just came out weird but tasty. Overall, it was a good meal. Alas, Ole Miss lost, but at least I didn’t have to watch it surrounded by cheering Bulldogs.

  8. 8.

    MobiusKlein

    Did the turkey on bbq, and was juicy tasty. Would do it again. Just nerve wracking trying to time it right

  9. 9.

    CaseyL

    I do like these glimpses of your house, which continues to look very cozy and comfy.  I also like the semi-grumpy expression on your Dad’s face, because that means he has recovered enough to be his regular self : )

    Where are Steve and Thurston, though? You must have locked them into another room, else Thurston, at least, would be doing his “starving puppy” impression in the hopes of getting some treats from the table.

  11. 11.

    eclare

    @CaseyL:   To me, Papa Cole looks put-upon.  And I wonder what is in that tall glass dish at the bottom left of the table.  It looks like some kind of sauce?

    Or some kind of pudding?

  15. 15.

    Redshift

    @John Cole: Cut it into slices? In our family tradition, the proper way to serve it is can-shaped, sitting in a silver dish (because we’re fancy.) You hack off whatever size piece you want.

    My dad also makes cranberry sauce. I always have both, but my mom, like yours, is a fan of the can. I suspect it’s because the homemade relish is more tart, and mom and I are the ones in the family with a sweet tooth.

  19. 19.

    HumboldtBlue

    There was a lot of footage and remembrances for the turducken, made famous by John Madden, on the football broadcasts today, so there’s that.

    I’ve never eaten a turducken, but it’s a thing, and for some of us, we saw it come into creation.

  20. 20.

    The Moar You Know

    I like the canned and the freshies.  Two totally different awesome versions of the same thing.

  21. 21.

    El Muneco

    Didn’t trust my oven as the heating element is half broken and I forgot to get the landlord to fix it after last year’s holidays, so I got a couple of thighs to do in the toaster oven as an emergency. Both applications turned out really well – the breast in the oven took a lot longer because the old girl is really working hard – and now I have enough turkey to last me until Christmas. If I hadn’t been planning to do a beef roast at Christmas already, I would be now.

  22. 22.

    CaseyL

    @Redshift: Ah; that would explain it.  Also explains John leaving right afterwards, which I thought was a touch strange (if the dinner was  at his house)… but I figured: they’re his family, they can be trusted, and he wants to go for a walk; OK.

    John Cole: Not quite as strange as I thought he was!

  27. 27.

    eclare

    @Chacal Charles Calthrop:   Yes, I am very familiar with aspic as I grew up in the south.  My mother constantly served what I referred to as tomato jello with a spoon of mayo on top.  As I said before, OMG that is disgusting.

  28. 28.

    p.a.

    OMG no leftovers??!!  Not even the carcass for soup?😱

     

    I don’t mind home made cranberry sauce, but gimmee jigglee any day.  Nowdays you even have to read the can’s label; some corporate a-hole decided to produce some with actual cranberries in the matrix.🤨

  30. 30.

    Raven

    Special red  snapper season this weekend! I surf fished for three days and nothing but one whiting. So, let’s go down to the wharf and surely I’ll be able to get on a boat. Well, I got here at 5:30 and only one boat was going and it was a private charter. Now I’m stuck on this bench hoping to get out on an 8am boat!

  35. 35.

    Raven

    @Geminid: It’s funny, the headboats are strictly cut bait, squid and mullet. The charter boats stop at the end of the  sea wall and fish for live bait. In the keys the trips are an hour shorter and they have live bait already. In the keys we got yellowtail and mutton snappers.

  36. 36.

    Geminid

    @Raven: Thanks. I hope to return someday to Fort Pickens campground, across the bay from Pensacola. It’s part of the Gulf Islands National Seashore, and it has its own small fishing pier on the bay side. You don’t need a Florida license to fish as long as you’re on the pier.

    A guy from Alabama told me he comes down regularly and at times catches snappers. Florida rules apply, so he could keep one or another of pink and red snapper, but I forget which.

  38. 38.

    Josie

    I have always preferred the canned cranberry sauce to every fresh one I tried and, believe me, I have tried many over the years. This year I read an article about Ina Garten’s recipe that claimed it was approved by can lovers. I thought, “Okay, I’ll try one more time.” Amazingly enough, it was really good. No more cans for me, and my kids will have no reason to mock me any more at Thanksgiving (although I’m sure they’ll think of something else). You’re never too old to learn something new.​

  40. 40.

    Starfish

    John, if you did not tell us that was your attempt at spelling your name, I would have just assumed it was a demand for Jell-O, which we can mostly agree is preferable to canned cranberry sauce.

  41. 41.

    gratuitous

    I had a girlfriend once upon a time whose niece made one of those plates. It was her special plate whenever she came over, and seeing Cole’s similar creation, I actually had a nanosecond of nostalgia for days gone by. Looks like I lose a point on my curmudgeon card.

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