Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Not all heroes wear capes.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

I was promised a recession.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / THE BEAR EMERGES FROM THE CAVE

THE BEAR EMERGES FROM THE CAVE

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Woke up this morning feeling, by any objective measure, ok, but compared to the last week, feeling phenomenal. Voice has gone from Barry White meets Tom Waits to something resembling normal, and the crushing fatigue has subsided. So I got that going for me.

Everyone keeps talking about rebound covid, so I have been taking it easy all day and probably will throughout the New Year. I’m basically acting like I am still sick- lots of fluids, sleeping as much as I can, soup, popsicles, etc. In any fair analysis, my behavior when I am sick is PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME if you are not sick. Sitting, sleeping, and not being fucked with are my three favorite things in the world to do, and doing them while feeling ok is pretty damned awesome.

Still have a great deal of work to do with the family, who still do not seem to understand that me not answering a text in the family text in under fifteen minutes does NOT mean that I am dead and to alert interpol, but maybe I am sleeping. So I am now sending messages like this whenever I have the nerve to take a nap:

THE BEAR EMERGES FROM THE CAVE

Covid might not get me but my family surely will in the end.

Reader Interactions

59Comments

  2. 2.

    Alison Rose

    Try being in a Jewish family, you gotta send messages like that even if you’re healthy as can be. If my mom or I try to call each other and the other person doesn’t answer, it’s like BOOM oh no they’re dead on the floor call the EMTs. My people are the reigning champs of thinking zebras instead of horses.

    Glad you’re feeling better, JC. The post title being in all caps made me laugh :)

  4. 4.

    patrick II

    I caught Covid the same day as you.  I finished by Covid medicine Sunday, and am feeling better, but my test still shows positive.

    I live in a house with my wife and daughter, so I have isolated in a bedroom with attached bath.  Fortunately it has an air return that goes straight to the furnace room, which is a relief from passing germs through the ventilation system. We are being very careful.  My wife leaves meals on a tray outside the door.

    I am ready to get out and about, but evidently can’t for a while.

  5. 5.

    Ruckus

    One has to have family for family to get you.

    And it’s not like they haven’t tried.

    Three of us have had cancer.

    One had Alzheimers.

    One lived to 95, just.

    One of us a heart attack.

    Life is good, sometimes it’s just not as good as it could be.

    Nice to see you back John, as, what is it, The Grinch?

  9. 9.

    AJ of the Mustard Search and Rescue Team

    “Barry White meets Tom Waits.” I hope this never happens to you again, but if it does, I’ll pay you to do a Cameo voice mail outgoing greeting for me Cole.

    Glad you’re feeling some better and really glad you are taking it easy. They say a lot of people overdo it and then suffer later bc of it.

  10. 10.

    CaseyL

    @justawriter: Beat me to it!

    Glad to hear you’re on the mend, John.

    Having relatives scattered all over the planet gets to be lots of fun.

    My Mom and Aunt – who live on opposite ends of the East Coast – are always asking if I’ve recently spoken to the other one, and if so, did they seem OK?

    Each seems to think the other is forever on the verge of dementia, or already has it, or may be suicidal.  (None of these are ever the case, none are ever apparent.  These two have a lifelong history of rivalry and I’m damned if I can figure out if they’re honestly concerned about each other, or hoping to hear the worst so whoever is left can do a fist pump.)

  15. 15.

    Poe Larity

    Post covid gets better, you can start traveling and get this cold/flu I got coming home for Xmas.

  19. 19.

    Nicole

    Hooray!  I’m glad you’re feeling better and after what you’ve been through, you’ve definitely earned several days of sitting, sleeping and not being fucked with.  Here’s to you seeing out 2022 doing all three!

    I was just thinking about how at the end of 2020 I bought a shirt that said, “2020: One star, very bad, do not recommend” but after 2021 and 2022, the joke just doesn’t land.  Too many one-star years in a row.

  21. 21.

    A

    Will note that even though nary a flake has fallen here, 80% of the SW Air flights in and out of SMF have been cancelled due to the chaos elsewhere.

    This Christmas has been one for the books.

  23. 23.

    middlelee

    That is great news, John.  Enjoy as many more days as you need sitting, sleeping, and not being fucked with.

  26. 26.

    trollhattan

    Though not a flake has fallen here, chaos elsewhere has 80% of SWA flights in and out of SMF are cancelled. IDK why they’re so particularly bad, but there it is. Holiday hell is in full swing.

  27. 27.

    Poptartacus

    I think I’m catching my first cold in 3 years. Made cioppino; much tastiness. Feel better already

  29. 29.

    dmsilev

    @trollhattan: From what I read, the airline has basically lost track of where all their crews are and the system they have for scheduling crews is run off a Commodore-64 powered by a pair of hamsters, and the hamsters are getting very tired.

  31. 31.

    Sure Lurkalot

    @dmsilev:

    the system they have for scheduling crews is run off a Commodore-64 powered by a pair of hamsters, and the hamsters are getting very tired.

    In short, they haven’t put sufficient funds back into the business, deciding instead to spend revenues on exorbitant executive compensation, stock buy backs and daily dividends.

  33. 33.

    Ruckus

    @dmsilev:

    I understood that they served the hamsters on their only flight that serves meals and the Commodore-64 was retired for a box of #2 pencils and after the hamsters were gone there was no need of an office as they were the only 2 employees in the main office.

  34. 34.

    Poe Larity

    Sausage Oligarch gets Gruber’d

    Russian sausage tycoon Pavel Antov has been found dead at an Indian hotel, two days after a friend died during the same trip.

    Reports in Russian media said Mr Antov, 65, had fallen from a window at the hotel in the city of Rayagada on Sunday. Another member of his four-strong Russian group, Vladimir Budanov, died at the hotel on Friday.

  35. 35.

    catclub

    @Sure Lurkalot: ​
     

    on exorbitant executive compensation, stock buy backs and daily dividends.

    Stock buybacks and extra dividends put money back into the hands of ( in principle) the people who provided capital for the company. Returning it to them is the right thing to do for a company that cannot make better use of money than the overall stock market. I only object that buybacks raise the stock price for the executives that are promoting the stock buyback.

  36. 36.

    Starfish

    @Ruckus: Y’all are too much, and my mom is going to have to catch her Southwest flight home in two days. I hope it works out for her.

  37. 37.

    frosty

    @Sure Lurkalot: Oh hell, not another one of those. I fly SWA because it’s a hell of a lot easier holding on to the fare if you cancel a flight than with any other airline. I cancelled cross country flights for my sons when COVID hit in 2020. The WannaGetAway fares were still good in 2022 and we used them.

    ETA Plus they haven’t destroyed my guitar in three attempts!

  38. 38.

    Sister Golden Bear

    Still have a great deal of work to do with the family, who still do not seem to understand that me not answering a text in the family text in under fifteen minutes does NOT mean that I am dead and to alert interpol

    Have you tried telling them you’re spending a year dead for tax reasons?

  40. 40.

    Ruckus

    @Starfish:

    I do as well.

    I flew a lot when I worked in pro sports, and when I say a lot I once had a Hertz clerk tell me I was in the top 5% of renters by the number of rentals per year. I’ve flown on most airlines in the US, including SW and other than flights being canceled in Atlanta and having to sleep on the floor in the terminal (not a  SW flight) most of my flying was just boring. Except for 9/11. That was a fun day, flying in the northeast at 8 in the morning and having our pilot tell us about the planes hitting the tower. The woman sitting next to me worked for a company based out of the WTC. I never did find out if they got out or not because most of the company was on it’s way to Atlanta for a company meeting. I suspect some didn’t.

  41. 41.

    Lord Fartdaddy (Formerly, Mumphrey, Smedley Darlington Mingobat, et al.)

    Nobody in our house of six has gotten the ’rona. Not one of us, once, in going on three years.

    I don’t know how we’ve been this lucky. We’ve done everything we can within reason, not go out too awfully much—and really not at all over the first year and a half—we’ve had all our shots and boosters, we wear masks and all that…

    But, shit, three years, and not one case among us. We’ve been lucky. I try to keep that in mind when I get grumpy about some dumb shit.

  44. 44.

    Sure Lurkalot

    @catclub: I was going for an apparent lack of capital expenditure with such funds being diverted to prop up the stock price at the pleasure of the executives and shareholders. Maybe I’m wrong and it has nothing to do with greed.

  47. 47.

    Sure Lurkalot

    @frosty: I know, they have a very loyal base! My friend’s niece works for SWA. I flew them once (in 2020) and their change policy came in handy…my sister had passed away and I needed to stay longer.

    I have one family member away from home for the holiday without his luggage and having had to buy alternate tickets for his family on Delta to get there at all. I’m pretty sure he and a few others will hold a grudge…forever? Not if the company earns back the good will they lost by the combo of bad weather, bad luck and I guess we’ll find out what else.

  49. 49.

    mrmoshpotato

    Via LGF

    In less then 5 hours after the Tucker interview they were able to identify Chaya Raichik's (LibsOfTikTok) face & attire while on the Capital Grounds on Jan 6th.pic.twitter.com/4o5sc4bpj9— ChudsOfTikTok (@ChudsOfTikTok) December 27, 2022

    Lady Justice will hopefully have another fucking fascist face to cave in. Hoping she gets a no-knock visit in the middle of the night. Surprise! Traitorous, Trump-trash motherfucker!

  53. 53.

    SWMBO

    John,
    My friend from high school is an ICU nursing supervisor in Arkansas. He has seen enough covid to last him a while. When we had covid at the end of May, he told me to get Paxlovid ASAP. He said there was a chance of rebound covid but I needed to stay on the OTC meds for two weeks after. Guaifenesin, Motrin, Robitussin. Keep taking them every 4-6 hours for two weeks. He said I wouldn’t get rebound covid if I did that. I kept the meds up and I didn’t get rebound covid. Neither did my son, who also took Paxlovid and stayed on the meds for two weeks. D told me that if you make sure there’s no medium for the covid to grow in, you don’t get the rebound. Keep up the snot pills and cough meds and you should be fine.

  54. 54.

    SWMBO

    @SWMBO: ​
     
    Also, throw out your toothbrush. He said so many folks wash their hands, cough into their elbows, etc. but then stick the same toothbrush into their mouths. Get a new one.

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