Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

He really is that stupid.

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

Let the trolls come, and then ignore them. that’s the worst thing you can do to a troll.

I’m starting to think Jesus may have made a mistake saving people with no questions asked.

I conferred with the team and they all agree – still not tired of winning!

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

with the Kraken taking a plea, the Cheese stands alone.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Day Five Complete

Day Five Complete

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Picked up my friend Joelle at the airport, and she’ll be here for five days on vacation. Was a very nice day- the drive to and from Ft. Lauderdale was pleasant, and the weather was superb- high 70’s, sunny, and breezy all day. It’s supposed to be like that until late next week, and I am ok with that.

We went to the Old Key Lime House for dinner- Joelle wanted to have cocktails by the sea at sunset, and it was very pleasant. The food wasn’t the best ever, although I enjoyed my baked avocado with goat cheese, but it was standard middle of the road beach food. Service was friendly and nice, and Joelle enjoyed her drink:

Day Five Complete

Apparently I look like an old sea dog now, and was forced to pose in front of a map of Florida. I was perilously close to cracking a smile but managed to stifle it at the last minute.

Day Five Complete 1

Joelle has been teasing me because I asked the waitress what an appropriate tip for a valet was because I have not used one in over a decade and I didn’t want to be a cheapskate.

Back home, dogs have been fed and bedded down, and thought I would take the time to say hello.

I have been avoiding the news, but this Santos shit just keeps getting weirder and weirder. How the fuck do Republicans find these people.

Reader Interactions

91Comments

  1. 1.

    dww44

    The Republican voters find these people because 2 1/2 decades of consuming nothing but extremist and reactionary media has rendered them unable to recognize sanity or moderation when they see it.  It’s all on their voters.

    Glad you’re enjoying your vacation,  John. You deserve a nice break.

  6. 6.

    wenchacha

    Very good to see you out and about, possibly enjoying yourself. Have a good visit with Joelle!

  7. 7.

    sab

    They find them in Ohio, among other places. Your guys may be Republican, but we have Gym Jordan and a legislature and executive branch that thinks natural gas is green.

  9. 9.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    You had me at “key lime”, my favorite pie! And yes, Santos is a weird character but so are Republicans in general.

    He’s just more weird. Skeevy is another good word to describe him.

  10. 10.

    sab

    What is the biggest cockroach you have seen?

    When I was six we moved to Florida. My deskmate in first grade brought his pet cockroach to school with him in a glass jar. It sat on the desk with us for quite a while every day.

  12. 12.

    Amir Khalid

    The latest about Santos is that he stole money from a sick dog, and the dog died because she missed out on an urgently-needed operation. I don’t quite see how he can get any lower than that, but I’m sure he can find a way.

  13. 13.

    bbleh

    See?  After FOUR days, you SORTA relax.  Wait til day 11!  (One assumes you will retain the sense not to start musing idly about relocating permanently.)

    As to Santos, they didn’t find him; he found them.  Grifters to the grift mine.

  16. 16.

    Ohio Mom

    I keep thinking about the people who did the oppo research on Santos and couldn’t get anyone to pay attention. What’s it like for them to see everything they said all over the news, months too late to make a difference?

  19. 19.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Amir Khalid: ak-shuuuulllly, I think this is the latest on Santos

    Marisa Kabas @MarisaKabas

    NEW: I just spoke by phone with Eula Rochard, a Brazilian drag queen who was friends with George Santos when he lived near Rio. She said everyone knew him as Anthony (*never* George), or by his drag name, Kitara, and confirms this photo is from a 2008 drag show at Icaraí Beach.

    From Russian money to vet scamming to a photo in drag… are we sure he’s not some kind of op run by a Dem mad at what trump and the Rs get away with? trolling all their obsessions and trump’s past? Has Robert Mueller gone rogue like Jackson Lamb or some shit? (If you haven’t read or watched Slow Horses, I highly recommend either)

  20. 20.

    Martin

    How the fuck do Republicans find these people.

    Kinda works the other way around. When you make it clear you don’t give a shit if the people in your party are complete assholes (MTG, Gozar, Trump, etc), it’s like throwing up the bat-signal for assholes.  Doesn’t take long before that’s all you have.

  21. 21.

    Betsy

    Florida has its charms: Key lime pie*, smoked mullet, Satsuma tangelos, honeybells, roseate spoonbills, big cumulus clouds, shell mounds, limestone springs.

    I hope you see some good birds.

    * NOT GREEN.

  23. 23.

    Sure Lurkalot

    How nice to have a friend come join you for a few days.

    So, is it time for a Doodle or similar poll for the day when there’s an indictment/charge in re George/Anthony/Santos/DeVolder/Kitara?

  24. 24.

    Ferd of the Nort

    McCarthy now likes Drag Queen Story Hour when they vote for him .

    hint: See latest about the adventuresome Mr. Santos.

  25. 25.

    sab

    @HinTN: I remember Dave’s as huge, but we were only six. I thought it was so cool

    ETA Who brings a bug the size of their thumb to school? And what teacher allows it. Very Florida.

  26. 26.

    Amir Khalid

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Ack-shew-early, I didn’t count that because I don’t think being a drag performer is scandalous per se. It does look hinky that he went by a different name, Anthony Something, in that group, as though he wanted to hide his tracks.

  27. 27.

    Geminid

    @Ohio Mom: The oppo researchers did not get all of this, but what they got should have been enough.

    An expectation that Santos would lose may have been a factor here. Former Representative Steve Israel wrote an interesting article about his old district for (I think) the Atlantic. Israel said that Mr. Zimmerman, Santos’s opponent, told him that when Zimmerman or his people pressed reporters to cover Santos’s lies, they were told, “He’s not going to win, so this isn’t a story.”

    But in the event, Democratic turnout was weak and Republican turnout strong, and Independents may have swung to the Republican side too.

    So George Santos won by a good margin, and now reporters have a story!

  28. 28.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Citizen_X:

    They leave a hunk of meat out. 

    Given what a god-damned pile of shit the Rethuglican party has been for 40+ years, I think it’s more of a mountain of rotting fish carcasses that attracts them.

  30. 30.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @Betsy: Also Cuban food.

    And geckos, clinging randomly to walls. I’ve never lived in a place where you routinely share space with lizards, and that fascinated me.

    While visiting my sister once, we stopped for a meal at a Cuban restaurant maybe half a mile from their house. She’d never been there. I’m fact I’m not sure she’d ever eaten Cuban food, period.

  34. 34.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Amir Khalid:

    The latest about Santos is that he stole money from a sick dog, and the dog died because she missed out on an urgently-needed operation. I don’t quite see how he can get any lower than that, but I’m sure he can find a way. 

    We’ll probably find out he strangled Lassie’s puppies and then threw her down a well.

  35. 35.

    MomSense

    Glad you are having fun now that the dogs are set and you have recovered from that scare.

    I’m heading down to Florida in March to hang out with my dad.  Any Naples jackals who might want to meet up?

  36. 36.

    Andrya

    Blogfather:  I’m glad you’re enjoying your vacation.

    @Amir Khalid:  Santos didn’t just steal money from a sick dog, causing the dog’s death.  He stole money from a sick SUPPORT DOG FOR A DISABLED VETERAN!  (link)  And the vet had to panhandle, once things were hopeless, for money for the dog’s euthanasia and cremation.

  38. 38.

    Another Scott

    Speaking of Florida…

    “The Sarasota Republican [Rep. Greg Stube, (R) FL-17] was reportedly doing routine home maintenance and apparently fell from his roof about 25 feet to the ground.” https://t.co/mAbpZwsew0— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) January 19, 2023

    Working on a roof is dangerous. Qevin might want to tell his people not to do that.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  41. 41.

    Hungry Joe

    Cole’s beard is a keeper.

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: “Slow Horses,” yes indeed. If only I could have spent the last decade or so of my career lolling in a creaky lean-back swivel chair and napping on a ratty sofa, smoking, drinking, farting, and, whenever possible, berating subordinates. And — but only when absolutely necessary — rousing myself to do some tricky spy stuff. Jackson Lamb (Gary Oldman, way beyond brilliant) had it figured out.

    Mick Jagger’s theme song — he wrote it for the show — is killer, too.

  42. 42.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:

    While visiting my sister once, we stopped for a meal at a Cuban restaurant maybe half a mile from their house. She’d never been there. I’m fact I’m not sure she’d ever eaten Cuban food, period. 

    Is this a dig at your sister, or at the restaurant? :)

  45. 45.

    Layer8Problem

    After the high anxiety of your first day there, I’m glad to see you looking genuinely relaxed!  Keep doing what you’re doing.

  46. 46.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    @Brit in Chicago:  If you’re are at a Buffalo Hotel last month it’s $5.  If you’re at swank restaurant in Florida during spring break and you tell the Valet, “Sorry.  No cash.”  And he says, “I have Venmo.”  You say, “Okay.”  Then it’s zero.    I may be speaking from personal experience.

  48. 48.

    BlueGuitarist

    @sab:

    largest roach: TFG
    and speaking of, via political wire

     

    Trump Thought Photo of Accuser Was His Ex-Wife
    January 18, 2023 at 8:35 pm EST By Taegan Goddard 20 Comments

    “Donald Trump mistook his sexual assault accuser E. Jean Carroll for his ex-wife Marla Maples when shown a photograph from the 1990s in a deposition at Mar-a-Lago last year, potentially undermining one of the common defenses he has used to deny an attack,” the Washington Post reports.

    “Trump, who is being sued by Carroll, an author and advice columnist, for defamation and sexual assault stemming from the same alleged encounter, has repeatedly said Carroll is not his ‘type,’ suggesting an assault could not have occurred because he would not have pursued her romantically.”

     

    ETA: of course rape is not “pursued…romantically”

  49. 49.

    Shana

    We were in Orlando last week, Thursday until Monday and had only one day of warm weather, so you’re doing much better. We did however have fun at the Universal Harry Potter worlds and went on an airboat ride on the St, John River where we saw a bunch of pretty birds and alligators, followed by watching a SpaceX rocket launch where the boosters came back to a launch pad. Very cool even if it is a Musk entity.

    This week radiation treatments begin, but only 15 days of them. Then it’s just medication and hopefully the end of breast cancer. Woot.

  57. 57.

    Jay

    Shortish day today. If the bus run’s normally, I get to work for 7:30am, if it’s a “good driver”, it’s 7am. So I have racked up 2+ hours of OT, which I am loath to bill for, because work is “slow” and the only reason I hang until 4 is because I get dragged into helping the other techs.

    Anyway, leave at 6am with the Company truck, to pick up Kaine in Port Moody, so we can get to the refinery for the 7:30am IIF and Indoc. (Safety induction). 5 hours of powerpoints and photo’s/check data for our RFID/Photo badges. Then Kaine an I stand in the rain for 35min, trying to contact our contact, to get into the refinery part of the refinery, so we can fix their pile of dead 4Gas monitors. Our contact finally get’s back to us, “something” has come up.

    The hand off to us by the Corp, was garbage. One contact at the site, and just a phone# and name, gotten last minute, ( should be three or more), they don’t have our contact info, (the guy’s doing and “managing” the work), and neither Kaine or I are in the “loop”, as people at our Corp who should be talking to us, and the Customer, well, we are hearing about in passing by hearing conversations in the hall. Documenting, billing,…………. ??????

    Over the course of today, I learn that Feb isn’t a “shutdown”, which is an annual 1 month referb of the system, instead it’s the 5 year “turnaround”, a major rebuild and recert that could take 3 months and has about 200 contract workers added to “our” workload.

    We will get it under control, but really???????

  62. 62.

    TriassicSands

    Jeez, John, all this positive verbiage about life in Florida. The next thing you know you’ll be telling us how great Kim Jong Ron is and what a great president he will be. Just kidding, but it’s good to hear some positive commentary from you. I hope you can carry that back home with you when you go. Keep it up.

  63. 63.

    CaseyL

    I am very happy to hear you’re almost enjoying your vacation, have eaten very nearly good food, and came within a hair’s breadth of smiling for the camera. That’s what vacations are all about!

    And I quite like the longer, fluffier beard.

  65. 65.

    Ohio Mom

    @Shana: Yes, Woot! In advance.

    If you announced your breast cancer on an earlier thread, I missed it. Having been there, done that (10 years ago), I always recommend the breast cancer.org site. The main site It is kept up to date by medical professionals and there is also a fabulous set of discussion boards.

    I still go back on occasion to catch up on the lymphedema board but there is a board on every aspect you can think of (including dealing with radiation side effects). I always found the advice there right on the money.

  66. 66.

    Leto

    John- glad you’re enjoying your vacay. Regarding your “sea dog” look, if you wore a mariner’s cap you’d basically look just like George RR Martin. Maybe that can be this year’s Halloween costume when you hand out candy.

  70. 70.

    Crosspalms

    I think Santos will turn out to be an illegitimate child of Trump’s, which is why the House Repubs won’t touch him

  74. 74.

    Gvg

    @HinTN: Someone bred extra large cockroaches for a horror movie. The roaches were reportedly destroyed afterwards and I think that was actually done because nobody reported supersize bugs afterwords, just “normal” large ones like always. I think the movie was supposedly shot in Winter Park, near Orlando. The Orlando Sentinal reported the story a few times when news was slow. Long time ago now.

    Now that would be something our legislators could do that I would not quite laugh at. Make it against the law to breed larger roaches using any method, not just GMO that they don’t even understand.

  78. 78.

    Jay

    @mrmoshpotato:

    Redside Rainbow Trout subspecies, 5 major strains, each unique, ( to the point that you can tell what strain they are while holding them in your hands), plus of course, Naturalized Invasive Species Brook Trout to 7lbs, in cold water.

    Used to smoke up about 70lbs every year over alder coals,….. salty, sweet, savory and lox,……….

  79. 79.

    Ohio Mom

    @Gvg: Nowadays of course they would just make CGI giant cockroaches. That was a one-time gig for the biologist who bred those movie extras.

  81. 81.

    sab

    @Gvg: I didn’t much like cockroaches but I didn’t mind them. My favorite Florida wildlife were the anoles, those little lizards stuck on the windows that could turn green or brown, depending. The birds were amazing, but the anoles were sweet little things harmlessly hanging around in your house.

  84. 84.

    VOR

    At this point everything about the Santos identity needs to be verified. What is his actual legal name? Where was he born? Is he a US citizen? Is the current person claiming to be “George Santos” the same as the person born with whatever name?

  85. 85.

    Tony Jay

    How the fuck do Republicans find these people.

    1) Hold the freakiest orgy you ever did see

    2) Dig down to the bottom of the very bottom of the sweatiest Pile-On Party

    3) Say “Son, have I got an offer for you”

  86. 86.

    J R in WV

    @Shana: Best of luck with your treatment — I had a procedure last month to remove a bladder tumor, and spent a lot of time in bed reading with our puppies cuddling by my side, about 140 pounds of lovable fuzzy love.

    Will have a very similar procedure in 3 weeks to be sure my urologist/surgeon got it all. Want to take the dogs with for good luck, but Dr said no…     ;~)

  87. 87.

    Tim in SF

    Hey Cole, I’ve been reading Balloon-Juice since the Terri Schiavo days and I don’t think I’ve seen more than one or two photos showing even half your face until very recently. I’m glad you’re getting over your camera shyness (assuming that’s what it was).

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