Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

It is not hopeless, and we are not helpless.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Accountability, motherfuckers.

President Musk and Trump are both poorly raised, coddled 8 year old boys.

Fight them, without becoming them!

The lights are all blinking red.

Come on, man.

Bark louder, little dog.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Good lord, these people are nuts.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

T R E 4 5 O N

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. do not touch it.”

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Florida Vacation Update

Florida Vacation Update

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Another delightful day in West Palm Beach, where everyone is so wealthy or totally checked out on vacation that they don’t realize what a fecal sore their governor and congressmen are, with low humidity, lots of sunshine, and temps in the upper 70’s and low 80’s. We started our day with a jaunt to the Jupiter lighthouse. I informed the ladies that I was not that interested in seeing a lighthouse, having seen a bunch of super impressive ones in Maine and elsewhere and being terrified of heights, so I dropped them off to go get a coffee. Got almost out of the parking lot when Joelle called to inform that the place was full and they could not get in, so turned around the car. They took some selfies of the lighthouse that go photobombed by someone’s shitty plague carrying kid, so the only picture worth posting is this:

Florida Vacation Update

There. Now you have seen a lighthouse. I am sure you are as thrilled as I was. Loaded up the family truckster and it was off to stop number two, that Panther Ridge Conservation Center to see some danger kitties, and that was the highlight of the trip for me so far (EXCEPT FOR THE DELIGHTFUL COMPANY OF JOELLE AND KRISTEN AND I AM WRITING THIS BECAUSE SHE NOW READS THE BLOG AND WILL THROW SOMETHING AT MY PLANETARY SIZED HEAD IF I DO NOT INCLUDE THIS).

At any rate, we had a delightful young lady named Hannah who was about 5’5″ and not very big and absolutely fearless as our tour guide, and she so clearly loved her job that it was a real pleasure having her take us around to all the different animals. She was just beaming like a proud mom at every enclosure and her joy was infectious. I really enjoyed meeting her- I like it when I see young happy people who love what they do.

There were a lot of different cats, but here were some of my favorites. First up were the Jaguars, Onyx and Mateo, a mated couple:

Florida Vacation Update 1

Onyx is the one featured prominently, in the background you can see her man, Mateo. FYI- panther is a generic term, and there is no species of panther. The two of them got along swell, and they are separated at night because the breeding is highly controlled, but Hannah was quick to note that by the end of the day Mateo is tired of Onyx’s shit. Just as she said that, Onyx went and started fucking with Mateo.

I’m skipping the Servals and the Caracels, although I will note that Karl the male caracel has to be in a separate cage from the female caracel because Hannah informed us he would repopulate the entire continent if allowed. They do share a fenceline so they can interact, though. All the men in the tour gave Karl a head nod “atta boy” and a fist bump as we moved on to the fishing cat.

The fishing cat we spent the most time with was Minnow, and he was super amazing. The handlers can not go into the cage with them because this animal can not fully retract its claws, and those is walking around with fish hooks. He loved diving into the pool, and she through fish into the pool and he would leap and do belly flops. He was extraordinarily agile. This is Finley, another fishing cat that I got a better picture of:

Florida Vacation Update 2

Up next was the Cheetahs, and they are VERY impressive. Just walking up to the cage and watching their long, effortless, but slow stride as they loped along you could tell they were the Ferrari’s of the cats. Learned a few things, first of which was that we all know they can reach amazing speeds of 50-80 mph, but they can do it in 2.3 seconds. Car people will understand what a BFD that is. Also, they can only sustain that for a brief while, and then they have to shut down for 20 minutes to get rid of the lactic acid buildup in their muscles. Additionally, they have very long tails, which normally is found in the tree dwelling cats (for balance- jumping cats have short tails), that they can use with all four feet off the ground as a sort of air rudder, and can even turn 180 degrees while in the air using just their tail. They also have the most docile (around humans, temperament), and she just walked right into the cage and played with them:

Florida Vacation Update 3

Up next is an exceedingly rare cat, Mischa, a melanistic (black) Amur Leopard. I don’t remember much of what was said because I thought she was so beautiful:

Florida Vacation Update 4

Finally, we saw a puma named Mika, who was just fucking amazing. They can apparently jump 20 feet straight up, and I don’t know if this picture will do it justice, but look at the size of those paws:

Florida Vacation Update 5

I even blurted out “look at those paws” and Hannah laughed and said “yes, we call her murder mittens.”

So that was the cat sanctuary. If you are ever around here, I highly recommend it. I really liked this place because the staff was great, the animals were clearly in absolutely perfect condition and well cared for and loved, they were given tons of stimulation and attention and fed the right amount of the right foods, receive scent stimulation every day, etc. The cages were immaculate, the water was clean, there was not an overbearing stench of spray or urine, and I just really felt this was a well run operation. Some places I have been I have felt guilty- “I can’t believe I just spent money to help keep these animals caged,” but not here. They were leading happy, fulfilled, good lives, and it showed.

The three of us went home, freshened up, and hit an early reservation at an upscale pizza joint named Grato. In a day full of wild animals, there was a rare sighting of a grizzly bear and a cougar in close proximity:

Florida Vacation Update 6

The ladies were all dressed up:

Florida Vacation Update 8

We shared a large beet, rocket, and goat cheese appetizer, then ordered three pizzas- a mushroom beschemel with truffle oil, a margherita with pepperoni, and I ordered a four cheese pizza with pickled tomatoes and spinach:

Florida Vacation Update 7

Very rich-we only finished 1/3 to a half of what we ordered and got the rest to go. I’m pooped. I’ve spent more time in the last three days in social settings than I like to in a half a year, but it has been fun. Beach tomorrow.

Reader Interactions

74Comments

  9. 9.

    mvr

    This is perhaps the first time that anyone has ever made me think that I might want to go to Florida.  Those are some cool animals.  I used to read books about mountain lions when I was a kid and they became one of my favorite animals.  Eventually did see one in the wilds of Wyoming one morning. But these animals do look well cared for and not like ordinary zoo animals.

    Thanks for the tour and glad you are having fun!

  10. 10.

    Steeplejack

    LOL, I love how Cole is (reluctantly) succumbing to vacation mode. Even his post titles—“Day Three in the Books,” “Day Five Complete,” “Another Day Done,” like a prisoner scratching off the days on the wall of his cell—have blossomed into “Florida Vacation Update.” Green shoots!

  13. 13.

    frosty

    I love these updates; thanks for sharing your trip with us. We’ve done eight Snowbird Road Trips but I hadn’t heard of the Panther Ridge Conservation Center. I’ll have to put it on a future itinerary.

  14. 14.

    AJ of the Mustard Search and Rescue Team

    Love seeing you out there enjoying yourself dude.

    You can hibernate and growl at passers-by when you get back – best of both worlds!

  19. 19.

    West of the Rockies

    Trigger warning needed, JC!

    I got sprayed by a white tiger at a cat sanctuary.   Threw away the clothing and bathed until I was raw.  Still not sure if I was being warned, scorned, or seduced.

  22. 22.

    satby

    @John: Just need one more Angel and you can start fighting crime. Enjoy! And second the sunscreen. Still waiting for the Cubano review.

    I’m heading out Monday to Auburn, CA myself. With more trips planned, because I got the 10 ride Amtrak US rail pass. I have 120 days to use it. Seattle is definitely one destination later this spring. Maybe New Orleans at the same time as my RVing friends, well after Mardi Gras. Decisions!

  25. 25.

    Honus

    @gene108: not Santa Claus, Burl Ives.  I have a Blue Tail Fly ear worm from looking at that picture.
    also, is that fishing cat actually a fisher, or something different?

  28. 28.

    satby

    @different-church-lady: Is $499, but up until yesterday it was on sale for $299. 10 rides (or segments if a destination includes a train change). Coach only and to get the most out of it you have to book early to get direct routes. It helps that I am central because a lot of the cross country routes start or go through Chicago. So if I book the Empire Builder from Chicago to Seattle, roundtrip, it’s only two rides of the 10. For $299. And I still have 8 more rides to go. Even at the regular price it’s close to roundtrip airfare. But no airport hassles and the trip is part of the vacation as you see the country. Edit: I’m looking forward to seeing parts of the country I always had to fly over due to time constraints before. Retirement rocks.

  29. 29.

    frosty

    @satby: ​I’ll have to look into this in a few years when we’re ready to give up towing a trailer. We’re taking a break this year and going to Key West and staying in a cottage. Hella expensive this time of year. We’re getting there via the Autotrain. We booked a bedroom so it should be a completely different kind of trip from what we’re used to.

  31. 31.

    satby

    @frosty: I think they run the sale on the pass every December, not sure. But even $499 is a bargain if you don’t mind coach and you plan carefully. Check the terms, Autotrain is one of the ones not included.

  32. 32.

    Dan B

    We’ve got Cougars here in the mountains.  My brother lives on the lower slopes of Cougar Mountain.  Cats don’t go outside and the dogs get walked.

    Beautiful pictures!

  36. 36.

    The Moar You Know

    I have gotten to pet a cheetah.  It was kind of an overwhelming experience.  First off, their eyes.  About the size of my fist.  Huge and they notice everything.  Second, not one ounce of fat on that critter.  It was pure muscle and could have dismantled me in about three seconds.  They purr.  They have emotional support dogs, golden retrievers, which they bond to and consider the dominant animal.  This despite weighing three times what the golden does.  They won’t bond to another, and outlive the dogs, which is tragic.
    Big cats are sheer awesome but I’m ok with them at a distance.

  41. 41.

    Dusty Confetti

    I had to be in West Palm Beach for an event back in November and made a mini vacation out of it, but Nicole (yeah, it was THAT weekend) forced me to change my itinerary, so I didn’t get a chance to see the big cats like I originally planned.
    But I had a surprisingly lovely and chill time there as well. The Norton Museum of Art was much better than I expected it to be. It was too early in the season to see any manatees, but I did get to hang out at the beach with friends, and we did a drive by finger-waving at a certain local resident’s residence.
    (It’s a long story: since he’s visited my podunk hometown twice now, I figured it was the least I could do.)

  42. 42.

    CaseyL

    Well, Cole, now that you’ve seem some real wild kitties up close, maybe Steve won’t seem so scary when you get home.

    …or will he???

    So glad you’re having a good time.

  43. 43.

    Pete Downunder

    In pre-Covid days we did a Cheetah walk at Australia Zoo (the late Steve Irwin’s place). It was awesome. The big cat was very cool and enjoyed lapping a popsicle that, if memory serves, was basically frozen milk. We have weekender less than 20 minutes from the zoo but I haven’t been in years. It is well run and the animals well cared for. Worth a visit if you get to southeast Queensland.

  44. 44.

    Hitchhiker

    @mvr:

    This is perhaps the first time that anyone has ever made me think that I might want to go to Florida.

    exactly what I thought.

    Thanks for the photos and the good vibe, blogfather.

    Also, Hi Joelle! Welcome to the jackal farm.

  45. 45.

    Janet Strange

    My best friend and I were camping somewhere in the coastal range in California many years ago. We took a hike and the trail led across a very small trickle of a creek, just enough to make mud on either little bank of it. And in the mud was a very clear print of a cat’s paw. We both owned cats and knew quite well what a cat print looked like.

    It was the size of a dinner plate. Those cougar paws explain a few things. We skeedaddled.

  46. 46.

    NotMax

    @mvr – Hitchhiker

    This is perhaps the first time that anyone has ever made me think that I might want to go to Florida.

    Lie down until the feeling goes away.
    //

  48. 48.

    eclare

    Glad you are having such a good time!  We have fishing cats at the Memphis zoo, love to watch them paw the water.

  53. 53.

    sab

    @eclare: I worked with a young woman, 22 year old single mom, who got her toddler a pet kitten. She was unfamiliar with cats, so they used to bathe the kitten. It liked to paddle around in the bathtub with her little boy. Never outgrew the swimming inclination.

    Not a fishing cat. Just a normal housecat.

  56. 56.

    opiejeanne

    I’m so glad you’re having a good time. Thanks for the amazing photos. I want to take the cheetah home and play with it.

  57. 57.

    Tehanu

    John, I’m happy you’re enjoying your vacation, and I’m envious that you got to see the cats. Keep having fun!

  58. 58.

    opiejeanne

    @satby: There are a bunch of jackals who live in or near Seattle. If you do come, maybe you’d like to have a get-together?

  64. 64.

    lowtechcyclist

    There’s a similar sort of place in Tampa: Big Cat Rescue, http://www.bigcatrescue.org.

    (Fortuitously, my coffee this morning is in one of their mugs, I just read the URL right off it.)

    So if you’re in central rather than south Florida, that’s where you go to see the big cats that people stupidly thought they wanted as pets, then found out it wasn’t such a great idea.

  65. 65.

    Geminid

    @satby: I’ve been meaning to ask you: how is your husband doing? He was having a rough time after his back surgery. I hope he’s better now.

  66. 66.

    lowtechcyclist

    @satby: ​
     

    I’m heading out Monday to Auburn, CA myself. With more trips planned, because I got the 10 ride Amtrak US rail pass. I have 120 days to use it. Seattle is definitely one destination later this spring. Maybe New Orleans at the same time as my RVing friends, well after Mardi Gras. Decisions!

    I went cross-country and back with the Amtrak pass back in 1987. (I’m not old, I’ve just lived a long time!) It was fun, but I remember that sleeping in a coach seat did become difficult late in the trip.

  67. 67.

    Geminid

    @lowtechcyclist: There is a good review of AMTRAK’s plans to add new service routes and enhance existing ones, published at amtrak.com.

    Among the new routes are one between Phoenix and Tuscon, with enhanced service to LA; a new route between Oklahoma City to Wichita, Kansas, with enhanced service to Ft. Worth connecting to the “Texas Triangle” routes; train connections from Cincinnati to Columbus to Cleveland, last connected by passenger rail in 1967.

    These and more improvements made possible by the underrated Infrastructure bill can be found at:

    https://media.amtrak.com/amtrak-connects-us

  69. 69.

    Denali5

    I recently learned on the great Internet that there are ocelots in the wild in south Texas and northern Mexico. I hope that they can sustain their population through all the border stuff going on.

  71. 71.

    RR_Mikey

    Great stories about the cats and happy that they were well cared for.  As for that pizza, if you served that to anyone in Chicago, they’d likely throw it at you.

  72. 72.

    kindness

    Smart move John.  Order too much.  Take the rest home.  Left over pizza is always a great snack.

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