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You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Where Do We Go From Here

Where Do We Go From Here

by John Cole|  February 11, 202310:40 pm| 90 Comments

This post is in: John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House"

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I’m having one of those nights where you just can’t get interested in anything. You have tons of options, just none of it is appealing. It’s not depression or anxiety or anything, but sort of a “I thought there would be more to it than this.”

Ever go through that?

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Reader Interactions

90Comments

  1. 1.

    Nukular Biskits

    February 11, 2023 at 10:42 pm

    It’s called “life”, John.
    ;>)

  2. 2.

    schrodingers_cat

    February 11, 2023 at 10:46 pm

    Dabble in art. The possibilities are endless.

  3. 3.

    Betsy

    February 11, 2023 at 10:51 pm

    That’s when it’s time for an early bedtime.  Brain reset.  Body reset.

  4. 4.

    Benno

    February 11, 2023 at 10:51 pm

    When I feel like that I’ll usually put on something objectively offensive to rational human adults and quickly realize that there are better options and find one. In the past year I’ve been using the American remake of My Name is Kat (awful!) or reading literally any fantasy written in the Forgotten Realms world (worse than awful). At worst I fall asleep. At best I find literally anything better to do. YVMV

  5. 5.

    Grumpy Old Railroader

    February 11, 2023 at 10:51 pm

    Do something, anything, rather than sitting and watching the TV. Be creative. If ya can’t create sump’n, read a book

  6. 6.

    Martin

    February 11, 2023 at 10:54 pm

    Yeah, that’s been my life since Covid showed up. Kept me busy for a while, then pretty constant ennui.  I keep trying to get something going, and I might for a few weeks and then yeah, right back into it.

    I mean, I know Trump really did a number on us, but the entertainment value of watching those guys step on their dicks only lasts so long. I think for me, I have this looming sense of dread – climate change, threats to democracy, etc. I don’t see the path branching in minor ways, but in major ones, and I either want to throw all my energy behind putting us on the correct branch, but I only have so much energy, or I want to find some entertainment and distraction from that, but all of that seems insufficient for the moment – so much of it is pretty terrible.

    So yeah, not sure what to tell you other than this 54 year old feels the same way.

  7. 7.

    Ruckus

    February 11, 2023 at 10:57 pm

    John, I understand.

    But then I’m retired and 73 yrs old. I’m old enough that I started working for my dad when I was 12 so put in 60 yrs. Of course not all of those 60 were full time and I was enlisted in the Navy for a bit of it, but still I worked till 72 yrs old and having retired it does seem a bit like I need something else to do, it feels a bit strange to not go to work. I do have to say though that I haven’t let it derail me from actually retiring. Doing nothing feels a bit strange, but I’m not letting that bother me, it is, maybe, beginning to grow on me.

  8. 8.

    Brachiator

    February 11, 2023 at 10:57 pm

    I’m having one of those nights where you just can’t get interested in anything. You have tons of options, just none of it is appealing. It’s not depression or anxiety or anything, but sort of a “I thought there would be more to it than this.”

    Ever go through that?

    Absolutely. I go take a nap when this happens.

  9. 9.

    LeftCoastYankee

    February 11, 2023 at 11:00 pm

    Ye’ ol’ post-vacation syndrome.  What felt like comfortable pleasurable activities before the brain jolt of a vacation, now feel like time-fillers and thus somewhat less enjoyable.

    Dance like an idiot until your pets are worried.  I have no idea what that’ll accomplish, but please take pictures.

  10. 10.

    Cameron

    February 11, 2023 at 11:01 pm

    https://youtu.be/LCRZZC-DH7M

  11. 11.

    Betsy

    February 11, 2023 at 11:02 pm

    @Martin: You said it.

  12. 12.

    sab

    February 11, 2023 at 11:03 pm

    @Ruckus: Got up this morning late, at 9 o’clock, and was still finishing basic chores at 12:30. No wonder I can’t get anything done any more. Husband used to do half those chores until his back surgery. Now we are just happy when he can get up and function at all.

  13. 13.

    The Up and Up

    February 11, 2023 at 11:07 pm

    Yes.
    I viewed some friends streaming on Twitch earlier but everybody is now asleep. Hockey games on Tee Vee or radio over. Cat snoozing in the other room. Library books to read I suppose. Due next week.​

  14. 14.

    James E Powell

    February 11, 2023 at 11:12 pm

    Yes. It makes me wonder about retirement. Currently, when moments like that come, they hang around until I have to go to work, then dissipate as movement creates the illusion of progress. But with no job to pull me out of it, I will have to construct my own escape devices.

  15. 15.

    Jackie

    February 11, 2023 at 11:12 pm

    HGTV until I doze off.

  16. 16.

    Ohio Mom

    February 11, 2023 at 11:13 pm

    Me too. Hoping spring and sunny weather revives me.

  17. 17.

    ALurkSupreme

    February 11, 2023 at 11:15 pm

    “Why is it that no other species but man gets bored? Under the circumstances in which a man gets bored, a dog goes to sleep.”
    –Walker Percy

  18. 18.

    sab

    February 11, 2023 at 11:15 pm

    @schrodingers_cat: I used to do art all in black and white and grey. Working on color now and I am amazed. Wow!

  19. 19.

    Spanky

    February 11, 2023 at 11:20 pm

    @Nukular Biskits:  “Life in February”, to be specific.

  20. 20.

    Mike in NC

    February 11, 2023 at 11:21 pm

    Too many things to watch on Netflix and the others but the weed I’ve smoked just makes me sleepy.

  21. 21.

    HumboldtBlue

    February 11, 2023 at 11:21 pm

    You can do practice the piano, you’re gonna need practice to catch up with this kid.

  22. 22.

    Spanky

    February 11, 2023 at 11:21 pm

    @Spanky: Plus, I had a bout of what I think was RSV last week. Been feeling like I’m dragging an anchor behind me for the past 10 days.

  23. 23.

    Suzanne

    February 11, 2023 at 11:23 pm

    I don’t feel like I ever have enough free time to feel this way, I always feel overscheduled.

  24. 24.

    eclare

    February 11, 2023 at 11:26 pm

    @ALurkSupreme:   I am very jealous of my dog, snoozing and snoring next to me.  Don’t even get me started on my cats.

    Great quote.

  25. 25.

    Jude

    February 11, 2023 at 11:26 pm

    Me too. I’m about your age at 51 and I just can’t be assed into a lot of it.

    Thankfully I have teen kids and far-right cunts taking over our school board that force me to engage.

    Honestly though? We’re like this every February. Plug on through.

  26. 26.

    eclare

    February 11, 2023 at 11:27 pm

    @Cameron:   Perfect.

  27. 27.

    CaseyL

    February 11, 2023 at 11:30 pm

    I get that quite a bit.

    I’ll go for a walk – I walk a lot anyway, but discovered how therapeutic a quick stroll could be back when I had a legendarily bad manager.  Just a few minutes; the physical activity can re-set your brain.

    Or fix something around the house.  There’s always something needing to be done.

    @James E Powell:  I’ve been thinking about that, too!  Some people need a daily structure or they get depressed and do things that aren’t good for them.  I suspect I’ll be one of those people who need structure, because I am scarily good at Doing Nothing, and I’d hate for that to become my post-retirement life.

  28. 28.

    VOR

    February 11, 2023 at 11:31 pm

    I hear you, been there. I suggest you play with your pets or go for a long walk in the woods.

  29. 29.

    MagdaInBlack

    February 11, 2023 at 11:31 pm

    “Ever go through that?”

    Constantly.

  30. 30.

    HumboldtBlue

    February 11, 2023 at 11:31 pm

    @Spanky:

    Kevin Killeen in St. Louis has some very honest thoughts on the month of February.

  31. 31.

    sab

    February 11, 2023 at 11:33 pm

    @Suzanne: Of course not. You are still a working youngster. Biggest challenge of retirement is not to overcommit. I can see that as a problem in your future.

  32. 32.

    Ohio Mom

    February 11, 2023 at 11:37 pm

    @Suzanne: Because you *are* over scheduled. You have a demanding job and a family that includes a very little one. I had times in my life like that but not now.

  33. 33.

    BruceFromOhio

    February 11, 2023 at 11:40 pm

    @schrodingers_cat: Truth! A pencil and a blank page with some music on and no imposition. Wonders unfold …

  34. 34.

    Omnes Omnibus

    February 11, 2023 at 11:49 pm

    Learn to play the violin, banjo, or harpsichord. Try yoga or Tai Chi. Wrestle with Thurston. Set up and account on Spoutible. Some people find knife throwing entertaining.

  35. 35.

    JAFD

    February 11, 2023 at 11:50 pm

    Meself, need to finish painting up some bits of furniture, then ‘persuade’ friend to help assemble and move them into proper places.  Then get tools unpacked and workbench set up.  After that, have a couple years worth of projects lined up…  But tonight, napped from 6 to 9. got up and had supper …

    Has been 55 F and sunny in New Jersey the past couple of days.  Not usual February weather …

    GO IGGLES !

  36. 36.

    Cameron

    February 11, 2023 at 11:53 pm

    @CaseyL: Sounds like you use this: https://todoist.com/productivity-methods/pomodoro-technique

  37. 37.

    The Moar You Know

    February 11, 2023 at 11:54 pm

    Yes, John.  I usually just go to bed when that happens.  Things are clearer in the morning.

  38. 38.

    Chetan Murthy

    February 11, 2023 at 11:54 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: I’ve always found self-medication with exercise helps.  You get to where you’re literally unable to keep going from being so tired, and then drag yourself back home.  To collapse, and soon thereafter, you have to sleep anyway.  Time passes.

  39. 39.

    Amir Khalid

    February 11, 2023 at 11:55 pm

    Don’t worry too much about being bored. Something will turn up soon to catch your interest. In the meantime, just pick something to do at random.

  40. 40.

    Ivan X

    February 11, 2023 at 11:57 pm

    Yes I have gone through that. I just call it “life.”

  41. 41.

    MomSense

    February 12, 2023 at 12:12 am

    @schrodingers_cat:

    Knitting helps me.  Getting lost in making something is soothing.

  42. 42.

    MomSense

    February 12, 2023 at 12:14 am

    @sab:

    Thats awesome!!

  43. 43.

    TaMara

    February 12, 2023 at 12:20 am

    @HumboldtBlue:  Thank you for that

  44. 44.

    HumboldtBlue

    February 12, 2023 at 12:23 am

    @TaMara:

    Ain’t that a beauty?

    Love my YouTube algorithm.

    You’re gonna love this one too.

  45. 45.

    TaMara

    February 12, 2023 at 12:29 am

    @CaseyL: That’s me – I usually take the dogs out or go and watch the ducks play.

    Or today, it was watching the bald eagle circle my neighborhood for about 20 minutes. I’m sure she wasn’t looking for a duck snack. LOL

  46. 46.

    NotMax

    February 12, 2023 at 12:54 am

    Ladies and gentlemen, Ms Peggy Lee.
    ;)

  47. 47.

    Cameron

    February 12, 2023 at 12:57 am

    @NotMax: Great minds…..

  48. 48.

    Gvg

    February 12, 2023 at 12:57 am

    Garden catalogs. I can waste a lot of time with them this time of year. Also browsing estate sales listings on line.

  49. 49.

    Ken

    February 12, 2023 at 12:58 am

    Take the dogs for a long walk.

  50. 50.

    edgefigaro

    February 12, 2023 at 12:58 am

    In February I solve OP’s problem by putting on trashy romcoms.

    When I was a stoner February was easier.

  51. 51.

    Delk

    February 12, 2023 at 1:00 am

    Games people play in the middle of the night.

  52. 52.

    Mark

    February 12, 2023 at 1:08 am

    Killer Klowns From Outer Space is on Svengoolie right now. Getting close to over though.

  53. 53.

    NotMax

    February 12, 2023 at 1:11 am

    @Delk

    Heh. Alan Parsons Project.

    On another hand, Inner Circle.

    :)

  54. 54.

    RandomMonster

    February 12, 2023 at 1:11 am

    I feel like this all the time. I usually just start my hobby, life drawing. If I’m just making crap drawings, I start practicing random shading. I equate it to a guitarist practicing chords. It’s both meaningless and satisfying.

  55. 55.

    The Up and Up

    February 12, 2023 at 1:13 am

    @CaseyL:

    I’ve returned from a walk in the brisk February air. Bars, venues closing. Their patrons are on the roads heading home. People residing in their cars are about also, trying to park someplace out of sight for the night. Around and around, the same Subaru with everything attached to the roof-rack and bumper.

  56. 56.

    Poptartacus

    February 12, 2023 at 1:47 am

    I thought I’d own a couple of railroads. Life’s been a disappointment fer sher

  57. 57.

    Steeplejack

    February 12, 2023 at 1:57 am

    @NotMax:

    Joe South, “Games People Play.”

  58. 58.

    Poe Larity

    February 12, 2023 at 2:15 am

    Well, 81 year old George Clinton ain’t wallowing in melancholy:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fNrWSr7r9I

  59. 59.

    rikyrah

    February 12, 2023 at 2:18 am

    I understand, Cole.

     

    Lonnnng hot shower and go to sleep 😴😴😴

  60. 60.

    HumboldtBlue

    February 12, 2023 at 2:25 am

    @Poe Larity:

    Hell naw!

    He was out there frolicking, a black man frolicking (it’s become a meme, an awesome meme)

  61. 61.

    Librarian

    February 12, 2023 at 2:50 am

    I don’t understand retired people who say, “I don’t know what to do with myself!” I’m almost 62, I’m going to retire soon, and I can’t wait because I will finally have the time to do the things that I couldn’t do, or only in fits and starts, because of this fucking job. Like reading and writing. The older I got the more I resented the time that the job took away from my life.

  62. 62.

    TriassicSands

    February 12, 2023 at 3:04 am

    Ever go through that?  John Cole

    Nope.

    When I was a little kid my parents gave me a book called “How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself.” It taught me there was simply no reason to ever be bored. Boredom seems to me to be even easier to avoid many decades later. The book was for little kids; the message for everyone.

    Note: That book was written by the author of “Where Did You Go?” “Out.” “What Did You Do?” “Nothing.”

  63. 63.

    Amir Khalid

    February 12, 2023 at 3:07 am

    One thing I do to fend off boredom is translate stuff into German. (It also helps improve my German.) Here’s a translation of an iconic speech from a 25-year-old movie. Feel free to correct my German. I would appreciate the guidance.

    Doch du hast mich gerettet! So schwierig und frustrierend wie es manchmals gewesen ist, deine gottverdammte strenge Rationalismus und Wissenschaft hat mich tausendmal gerettet! Du hast mich ehrlich gehalten! Du hast mich zu einer ganzen Person gemacht. Ich schulde dir alles, Scully, und du schuldest mir nichts.
    Ich weiß nicht ob ich dieses alleine tun will. Ich weiß nicht einmal ob ich kann. Und wenn ich jetzt aufhöre, gewinnen sie.

  64. 64.

    Ruckus

    February 12, 2023 at 3:10 am

    @sab:

    I have much sympathy for your husband. My back isn’t as bad as needing surgery but have a herniated disc (14 yrs now) and while it’s not bad all the time there are things I can’t do anymore. Oh well the bright side is that I don’t remember what an alarm clock is, and I’m finding out what it’s like to be a semi lazy bum. I always wondered, when I started working 10 hrs a day was far more normal, along with 6 days a week. Oh well tomorrow is another day off, followed by the next day and so on and so on…..

  65. 65.

    knally

    February 12, 2023 at 3:35 am

    @HumboldtBlue: That was joyous.

  66. 66.

    HumboldtBlue

    February 12, 2023 at 3:45 am

    @knally:

    Isn’t that infectious fun?

  67. 67.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 12, 2023 at 4:00 am

    Oh yeah.  One of those times where you’re just bored and nothing sounds interesting.

  68. 68.

    Bruce K in ATH-GR

    February 12, 2023 at 4:02 am

    I have days like that, when the pace of my work drops to nothing (usually those stretches are bracketed by times when the work is coming in faster than I can complete it). Sometimes all it takes to kick me out of the rut is to get up and out and move around. Other times, it’s more a matter of finding a project of some sort.

  69. 69.

    prostratedragon

    February 12, 2023 at 4:24 am

    @Cameron:  Thanks for holding down the fort.

  70. 70.

    prostratedragon

    February 12, 2023 at 4:37 am

    @HumboldtBlue:  That is precious! I’m sending it on; hope it spreads far and wide. Will confuse the hell out of some people.

  71. 71.

    satby

    February 12, 2023 at 5:37 am

    Lots of “retired” suggestions for a guy who is still busy working! Taking a walk is a good option, out in nature rather than just down the street if possible but any walk break will often do, even just 5-10 minutes a couple of times a day provides some improved health bennies.

    Also, volunteer for something is my way to break the doldrums and feel better about life. I’m another person who doesn’t get how people are afraid they’ll have nothing to do when they retire; and I’m completely happy to sit on my ass and read all day. But, this year my goal is to volunteer a few hours a week for Habitat for Humanity in one of their ReStores. So many organizations rely on volunteers there’s probably one that will align with your interests and time constraints. And some are very short term, like for community events or require just a few hours each week.*

    * Admittedly, some of these suggestions aren’t practical for nighttime blahs, but if you’ve done some during the day you might not get nighttime blahs. And walks at night are lovely.

  72. 72.

    Narya

    February 12, 2023 at 5:40 am

    Yes. I force myself to do some things anyway (exercise; healthy food), which helps me keep from sliding further. Currently contemplating new stuff, since losing my job in December. Maybe gonna do some consulting but NOT full time (I’m  64 and don’t have quite enough stashed away, but close—I’d planned to work about 5 months more). Reading more, maybe start some needlework. But yeah, sorting it out.

  73. 73.

    satby

    February 12, 2023 at 6:52 am

    @Narya: Happy surprise retirement 😕! Mine was at 59 1/2, so I could start collecting my very tiny pension while I looked for another job. At least it’s a great employment market with higher pay generally now, so you shouldn’t have too much trouble finding consulting gigs. Age discrimination is real, but not as bad now that employers are competing for workers.

  74. 74.

    Narya

    February 12, 2023 at 6:56 am

    @satby: I am super lucky—I reached out to someone who had reviewed my old agency, and I have an area of expertise he doesn’t, so he may be able to use me for some work! He’s older than me and doesn’t want to work all the time either, so this could be excellent.

  75. 75.

    Cjcat

    February 12, 2023 at 7:04 am

    Take on a physical project like cleaning out a closet or the kitchen cabinets. Deep clean your bedroom. Something that engages your body and mind and that you can do at night or in deep winter. It will energize you and maybe propel you to something more ambitious or it will make you tired enough to enjoy a book or show. Just getting off your butt helps.

  76. 76.

    Princess

    February 12, 2023 at 7:34 am

    The question is, do you need to be with more people, or do you need something to relax with without people? If the former, volunteer — politics, pet shelter, reading with kids, etc. if the latter, the people who are saying art are right. You can take a class online or just play around. Music is good too. Both completely possess you while you’re doing them.

  77. 77.

    Cjcat

    February 12, 2023 at 7:58 am

    You are probably feeling this because of the new cat coming into your life. Anticipation can lead to restless boredom. So just keep busy until the big day.

  78. 78.

    different-church-lady

    February 12, 2023 at 8:00 am

    You say “through that” as though it ever ends.

  79. 79.

    different-church-lady

    February 12, 2023 at 8:11 am

    @TriassicSands: Boredom can be conquered. Ennui, on the other hand….

  80. 80.

    KSinMA

    February 12, 2023 at 8:43 am

    @TriassicSands: Oh, I loved those books!

  81. 81.

    NotMax

    February 12, 2023 at 8:58 am

    @different-church-lady

    Drummed into my impressionable little noggin when but a sprat: “Only bores get bored.”

  82. 82.

    TerryC

    February 12, 2023 at 9:30 am

    Disc golf, John! Disc golf. Get a couple of putting practice baskets for your backyard. If you throw discs at targets while walking in the woods you have new friends at every one of the nearly 10,000 mostly free courses in the USA. Worldwide, more than 2,000 new courses are being built each year.

  83. 83.

    pat

    February 12, 2023 at 10:29 am

    What about that new cat, the tiny leopard?  When will he enter the picture??

    That ought to give you something to do….

  84. 84.

    Terraformer

    February 12, 2023 at 11:16 am

    @Martin: damn, describing how I feel perfectly

  85. 85.

    satby

    February 12, 2023 at 11:29 am

    @Narya: Late back, but that may be a perfect set-up! Fingers crossed for you.

  86. 86.

    Dopey-o

    February 12, 2023 at 11:30 am

    Go to a meeting.

  87. 87.

    BigJimSlade

    February 12, 2023 at 11:54 am

    It’s like the old saying, after enlightenment, the dishes.

  88. 88.

    smintheus

    February 12, 2023 at 11:59 am

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPP6UgkmyM4

    Let’s keep dancing if that’s all there is.

    ETA: Already posted by NotMax and Cameron

  89. 89.

    Ruckus

    February 12, 2023 at 12:51 pm

    I retired, as I’ve said here more than once or even more than a few times because I never actually  thought I’d get here. I worked until I was 72, partially because the last, wonderful, rethuglican recession left me with $200 on the day when I started SS. (Just in case fuck anyone who votes for rethuglicans to run this country. Sorry if I offend, rethuglican policies have more than once screwed my life, pretty much right into the freaking ground.) I have worked hard and reasonably smart so my last job put me back on my feet. I’m OK, I’m retired now, for almost 1 1/2 yrs. I’m building furniture – in my apartment! – furniture for me, designed by me, to be used by me. It’s never going to compete with any hoity-toity commercial furniture but I sleep on a bed I designed and made, why not the rest of my furniture? Got one last piece to make, a bookcase to hold all my decades of book collecting and then I have no idea what I’m going to do to keep busy, or better stated to spend my time. But after 12 yrs of growing up, sort of, and 60 yrs of jobs and labor and military and just life and now almost 2 yrs of retirement, I gotta say halifuckinglula I AM RETIRED. I was reasonably sure I’d never get here, but here I am. Reasonably healthy for my age, reasonably comfortable. It is/has been a long time coming, it is/has been a slog getting here and now I just want it to be one day after another. A day unlike most of those that came before, because they were mostly work, often 6 or 7 days a week.

  90. 90.

    Dr. Omed

    February 12, 2023 at 7:10 pm

    https://youtu.be/LCRZZC-DH7M

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