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You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Détente

Détente

by John Cole|  March 9, 20237:52 pm| 61 Comments

This post is in: John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House"

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Détente

We’ve progressed to sharing the same space, and I have removed the gate from the office and am allowing Max to explore the house. Not watching or following him because he needs to do it on his own terms and doesn’t need me fucking things up with nervous human energy. I’ve got an air tag on him and will beep it in an hour or so if I do not hear from him.

He’s calmed down a great deal, and allows me to pick him up and hold him like a baby for long periods. Just needs some time and the calming influence that can only be delivered by an aged fat man who is too lazy to get worked up about much of anything.

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61Comments

  1. 1.

    zhena gogolia

    March 9, 2023 at 7:55 pm

    Looks like Steve couldn’t give a shit 😂

  2. 2.

    Another Scott

    March 9, 2023 at 7:57 pm

    Zooks!  Steve must be HUGE!  Max seemed to be a good sized cat himself in the earlier pictures, but Steve is, er, much bigger!

    :-)

    Thanks for the update.  Glad things are going well so quickly.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  3. 3.

    Planetjanet

    March 9, 2023 at 7:57 pm

    Yes, Steve is going to be fine.  The transition is going well.  So good that you can cuddle the panther.  He is learning that he has found a good place.

  4. 4.

    bbleh

    March 9, 2023 at 7:57 pm

    Presume you’ll keep them separated at night for now.  Don’t wanna wake up to a 911 situation.

  5. 5.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 9, 2023 at 7:59 pm

    Good news. They’ll be sleeping cuddled up together by St Patrick’s Day!

    Please, what is an “air tag”? I mean, I guess it’s some kind of monitoring/locating device, but how does it work?

  6. 6.

    WaterGirl

    March 9, 2023 at 8:00 pm

    Mr. Bear has taken to letting me hold him like a baby lately, too, which is very sweet.

    Very glad to hear that Maxwell Edison is starting to feel safer.

  7. 7.

    WaterGirl

    March 9, 2023 at 8:01 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: While you’re at it, ask Cole what “beeping it” is about, too.

    I’m guessing that you can remotely send a signal that makes it beep, so you can find it/them.  But I really have no idea!

  8. 8.

    A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)

    March 9, 2023 at 8:01 pm

    It’s so sweet you can hold him like a baby.  I love to do this with cats, but only a few, very chill, very sweet cats have allowed me to do it. Mostly, I get NO, I DO NOT DO THAT from my cats, even ones who actually like having their tummy rubbed (which is also rare in cats, in my experience). So looks like you have a great cuddler on your hands (and arms). :-)

  9. 9.

    WaterGirl

    March 9, 2023 at 8:02 pm

    @A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan): I LOVE that Mr. Bear lets me do that now, but I would NEVER try that with his sister, Miss Willow.  uh uh.  nope.

  10. 10.

    dmsilev

    March 9, 2023 at 8:03 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: It’s a little disc-shaped thingy from Apple, that you can attach to a keyring or a pet’s collar or your luggage or whatever. Then, if the whatever gets lost, you can pull up a display on your phone that shows you where it is

    Edit: https://www.apple.com/airtag/

    Similar things are available from other companies as well; it’s not a purely Apple thing.

  11. 11.

    Grumpy Old Railroader

    March 9, 2023 at 8:03 pm

    I am assuming you have a nifty way-up-high close to the ceiling perch for him so that he can overlook everything in his new kingdom and guard all the approaches too his personal eyrie

  12. 12.

    CaseyL

    March 9, 2023 at 8:05 pm

    Great news!  And I envy you being able to hold Maxwell like a baby.  Oscar is a big NOPE in that area, though he does like to be held in the normal way.  For a little while.

    Can you feed them together, or is that a sticking point?

  13. 13.

    FelonyGovt

    March 9, 2023 at 8:05 pm

    @WaterGirl: How is Mr. Bear?

  14. 14.

    Steeplejack

    March 9, 2023 at 8:09 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    AirTags explained. The first paragraph pretty much covers it

    ETA: There is an app available to detect AirTags from Android phones. But I believe they have to be “armed” from an Apple device.

  15. 15.

    different-church-lady

    March 9, 2023 at 8:11 pm

    As I said: the only opinion that matters is Steve’s. Glad to see that’s headed in the right direction.

  16. 16.

    WaterGirl

    March 9, 2023 at 8:11 pm

    @Grumpy Old Railroader: Cole has a cat tree that goes from floor to ceiling, with several perches.

  17. 17.

    WaterGirl

    March 9, 2023 at 8:13 pm

    @FelonyGovt: He is all settled back in at home, and he seems none the worse for the wear after his scary trip to the vet school.

    Maybe he’s just being an extra good boy so I don’t send him back there! :-)

    edit: and right on cue, Mr. Bear appeared for snuggles.

  18. 18.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    March 9, 2023 at 8:16 pm

    From Cocaine Cat and Calm Cat to rescue cats and skull-fucking a kitten, Balloon Juice has it all.

    Talk about a full service blog… ;)

  19. 19.

    Elizabelle

    March 9, 2023 at 8:21 pm

    Have you ever successfully gotten a bowtie on Steve?

    What is Thurston thinking about all of this? Carry on.

  20. 20.

    different-church-lady

    March 9, 2023 at 8:21 pm

    @dmsilev: I recently managed to humiliate myself on a location job by losing track of my car keys twice in two days. Completely forgot I swore to research AirTags after that. Full service blog, yes. (DCL +2)

  21. 21.

    Betty Cracker

    March 9, 2023 at 8:24 pm

    “Nervous human energy” is the source of so much strife! Respect for being able to recognize that and mitigate it. Glad the handsome new addition is settling in!

  22. 22.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    March 9, 2023 at 8:25 pm

    @A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan): I do not understand cats and cats do not understand me. Our cat is completely devoted to my wife and climbs onto her for snuggles, but only at the end of the day. In those moments she tolerates the “hold like a baby” thing. During the rest of the day we have no idea where she is even though she’s a 100% indoor cat.

    She just barely tolerates me but will let me pet her on occasion. I have no idea what the rules are except that I’m not allowed to pick her up.

    Her relationship with the crazy beagle is also mysterious. She was fostered with dogs as a kitten, and occasionally they seem calm together, but never really friendly. And yet we frequently find her sleeping in a dog bed if he’s not using it. Which causes issues if he wants to use it.

  23. 23.

    Raven

    March 9, 2023 at 8:25 pm

    @dmsilev: and you can’t hear the other things

  24. 24.

    Ohio Mom

    March 9, 2023 at 8:25 pm

    What I need is a very tiny air tag for Ohio Dad’s eyeglasses. So many times we are all ready to leave the house and “I don’t have my glasses!” Followed by a frantic search.

    Glad the cats are developing (enough of) a friendship. Where is Thurston in all of this?

  25. 25.

    Alison Rose

    March 9, 2023 at 8:26 pm

    My cat tolerates being held for about 7 seconds, then she’s like DOWN, MOTHER. And definitely not like a baby, even though she often rolls onto her back in her sleep.

    I’m glad they’re starting to warm to each other. Soon they’ll be best buddies. Or at least “bitch, I guess” buddies.

  26. 26.

    Gravenstone

    March 9, 2023 at 8:26 pm

    @WaterGirl: I’m guessing that you can remotely send a signal that makes it beep

    Because nothing reassures a skittish cat quite like something attached to their person suddenly making a high pitched noise that they can’t get away from. Amirite??

  27. 27.

    Alison Rose

    March 9, 2023 at 8:28 pm

    @Ohio Mom: My dad only ever needed glasses for reading, and would often forget them when we’d go out to dinner or something. My mom has had to wear glasses all the time since probably her mid 40s or so, and one time she said she was actually glad about that because it meant she would never forget them.

  28. 28.

    David 🌈☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch

    March 9, 2023 at 8:29 pm

    Scriptures tells us, “peace will reign in the kingdom and the lion will lie down with the lamb”

  29. 29.

    WaterGirl

    March 9, 2023 at 8:30 pm

    @Gravenstone: My guffaw startled the cat.

    You make an excellent point!

  30. 30.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    March 9, 2023 at 8:32 pm

    @Alison Rose: ​

    I need glasses for everything, including finding my glasses if I can’t find them by feeling nearby surfaces.

    Yet nevertheless I occasionally misplace them.

    (I finally figured out that most of those occasions are when I fell asleep on the sofa, then later went up to bed and left my glasses behind in the living room.)

  31. 31.

    Joy in FL

    March 9, 2023 at 8:35 pm

    well done, Steve and Max. That is good to see.

  32. 32.

    WaterGirl

    March 9, 2023 at 8:37 pm

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym: Do you guys not have “designated locations” for keys and glasses?

    There are only 2 locations my keys are allowed to be: 1) in my coat pocket if I have forgotten to take them out and put them in my designated location, and 2) in my designated location.

    There is one designated location for my glasses in each of 4 rooms, and that’s it.

  33. 33.

    HumboldtBlue

    March 9, 2023 at 8:37 pm

    @Another Scott:

    Steve is all floof.

  34. 34.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    March 9, 2023 at 8:46 pm

    @WaterGirl: Do you guys not have “designated locations” for keys and glasses?

    In theory.

    As Yogi Berra said, in theory, theory and practice are the same. But in practice, they’re different.

  35. 35.

    CaseyL

    March 9, 2023 at 8:46 pm

    @WaterGirl: I’ve tried that, but am not consistent about it.

    I only wear reading glasses and sunglasses (when it’s bright outside).  During the day, I have both pairs pushed up on my head.

    (And once, I tossed everything out of my purse trying to find my sunglasses, only to have a bystander point out politely that they were on top of my head.)

  36. 36.

    Sure Lurkalot

    March 9, 2023 at 8:46 pm

    @different-church-lady:

    I recently managed to humiliate myself on a location job by losing track of my car keys twice in two days.

    I once locked keys in the car picking up lunch. While it was running. A loaner.

    Not even AirTags would have saved me.

  37. 37.

    BruceFromOhio

    March 9, 2023 at 8:47 pm

    @Ohio Mom: gotta have protocols. Glasses go HERE when not being worn. Phones go THERE when charging. Car keys ALWAYS go on the key rack. Like the military or the fire department, treat your stuff like it’s a matter of life or death. MrsFromOhio and I both have exit protocols because we were both fed right up to here with hunting for our crap while trying to leave. And we start leaving 15-20 minutes before we have to. It’s agreed that whoever is ready will sit in the foyer or out in the car and wait patiently, because if one of us gets bent out of shape then it risks both of us getting whack. So tiresome.

  38. 38.

    prostratedragon

    March 9, 2023 at 8:48 pm

    @zhena gogolia: ​ Steve is thinking at him, “Bet you’d like some of this, huh?” But it does look like they might get there soon.

  39. 39.

    different-church-lady

    March 9, 2023 at 8:52 pm

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym: The less you try to understand cats, the better it is.

  40. 40.

    Ohio Mom

    March 9, 2023 at 8:54 pm

    @Alison Rose: I am like your mom, my glasses are always on unless I am in bed, sleeping, and then they are on the night table. I can misplace other things but never my glasses.

  41. 41.

    Sure Lurkalot

    March 9, 2023 at 8:55 pm

    John and Max appear to have gotten to 3rd base (hold like baby). All the way is cradling cat in your outstretched arms with hind legs against your ribs, hands holding head, scritching ears, cat purring, drooling.  That was Cato! RIP, big guy.

  42. 42.

    different-church-lady

    March 9, 2023 at 8:55 pm

    @Sure Lurkalot: ​
    I am not big on gadgets, so when I got my first car with a remote fob I thought it was a silly luxury. But you know what? I have never once locked my keys in my car since then, because I do not lock my car without having the key in my hand. So GO TECH! (ONCE OUT OF EVERY 693 TIMES…)

  43. 43.

    prostratedragon

    March 9, 2023 at 8:57 pm

    “Where Are My Keys?”, Lorraine Feather.

  44. 44.

    Alison Rose

    March 9, 2023 at 9:00 pm

    @Ohio Mom: Yeah, she really can’t see a damn thing without them. She only uses 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioners so that she doesn’t have to try to figure out which bottle is which in the shower :P

    So far I don’t need glasses, but I’m assuming I will eventually, at least for reading. But I don’t mind. In my late 20s, I thought I might need them because I was having some trouble with focus on my computer screen at work. I had an eye exam done, and they said one of my eyes was fine but the other was…something, I don’t remember far or near-sighted. So they get the glasses made and I pick them up and somehow in the shop they seemed fine. But then I put them on at work and it was like, wtf everything is worse. They double-checked the prescription and everything was right, so I guess I just failed the eye exam, LOL. I was bummed because the glasses looked super cute on me, so I will look forward to needing them one day.

  45. 45.

    Ohio Mom

    March 9, 2023 at 9:02 pm

    @BruceFromOhio: I always like stories about people deciding to be intentional about something. Kudos to you and Mrs. BrucefromOhio.

    To my way of thinking, Ohio Dad is not near-sighted enough. He takes his glasses off to read, finishes what he was reading, goes off to do something else and doesn’t realize he never put his glasses back on because he can see well enough without them. But he definitely needs them for the sort of seeing distances that driving requires.

  46. 46.

    different-church-lady

    March 9, 2023 at 9:04 pm

    Update: there has been rum.

    Lots of rum…

  47. 47.

    columbusqueen

    March 9, 2023 at 9:21 pm

    You’re doing a lot better than I am, Cole. Four months & Athena still howls like a demented banshee when one of the new boys looks at her, not to mention her rage when they decide to mix it up with Her Majesty.

  48. 48.

    NotMax

    March 9, 2023 at 9:41 pm

    @different-church-lady

    Woefully out of touch with the marketplace am I. What’s the going rate for a dead man’s chest these days?
    ;)

  49. 49.

    cliosfanboy

    March 9, 2023 at 9:51 pm

    But how is Thurston???

  50. 50.

    anitamargarita

    March 9, 2023 at 10:04 pm

    Wonderful news!

  51. 51.

    different-church-lady

    March 9, 2023 at 10:11 pm

    @NotMax: Well, are we talking about the good stuff, or are we pounding mojitos?

  52. 52.

    Cjcat

    March 9, 2023 at 11:23 pm

    Max is adapting quickly. I always assume a new pet feels kidnapped for the first few days and try not to force anything on them. He has an intelligent  bright eyed look and has confidence to be fitting in so fast.

    I have cheap over-the-counter reading glasses in every room in my house, a pair in my purse and car and two pairs in the kitchen. I still manage to lose a pair now and then.

  53. 53.

    randy khan

    March 9, 2023 at 11:33 pm

    Love the Air Tag idea.  May need to try it on one of ours who’s very good at hiding.

  54. 54.

    A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)

    March 10, 2023 at 12:16 am

    @WaterGirl: Exactly.  Sounds like you have the yin and yang.

  55. 55.

    A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)

    March 10, 2023 at 12:26 am

    @Ohio Mom: I have worn glasses since 4th grade, but being very nearsighted, I often take them off to read.  And then sometimes, I can’t find them (i.e. they’re on the table and I moved to the couch) and it is REALLY hard to find your glasses when you are nearsighted and not wearing them.  Otherwise, they live on my face, or my bedside table (when I go to bed).

    I had hoped as I got older, my nearsightedness would be fixed by presbyopia, where everyone else gets farsightedness, but nope.  Instead of bifocals, they are now trifocals.  Hence, why I take my glasses off to read.

  56. 56.

    billcinsd

    March 10, 2023 at 2:45 am

    @A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan): I have worn glasses since I was 8, my cataracts surgery mostly cured my sight problems, although I wish I had sprung for the lenses that were good for both close and far sight

  57. 57.

    Uncle Cosmo

    March 10, 2023 at 9:23 am

    @A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan): When time comes for cataract surgery, be very very very suspicious of opthalmological surgeons who urge you to spend big extra buck$ for the supahdupah lenses so that “you’ll never need glasses again.” After 65 years of profound myopia, I leaped at the chance – only to discover, after the fact, that the opthalmological idea of “perfect near vision” is 20/20 at 14 inches –  at which distance most print is too small to read – and anything closer is a total blur. So, after spending enough for two multi-week European vacations, I now need reading glasses to see close-up, and progressive lenses for everyday wear.

    Tl;dr – Before springing for the pricier lenses, make sure you understand exactly what sort of vision you will obtain. They may do little but enrich your surgeon, the eye institute and the lens makers at your expense.

    @billcinsd: Be grateful – you may have escaped with your bank balance mostly intact.

  58. 58.

    Paul in KY

    March 10, 2023 at 9:56 am

    @Another Scott: Give Max the same floofy coat and he’s probably about as big.

  59. 59.

    Paul in KY

    March 10, 2023 at 9:59 am

    @Elizabelle: How would you see it?

  60. 60.

    Paul in KY

    March 10, 2023 at 10:00 am

    @WaterGirl: Good idea.

  61. 61.

    J R in WV

    March 10, 2023 at 11:04 am

    @WaterGirl: ​

    There is one designated location for my glasses [ on my face! ]

    Or when I’m in bed, in the box of stuff on the night stand beside the bed, where I can grab them prior to getting out of the bed. I do not move around without glasses, having stepped into viscera, etc, left for us by the predator cats. And a flashlight, also too, on a headband. Glows red at night to not spoil your might vision….

    Actually — Rarely, reading the tablet in bed with all the lights off, because tablet, duh, I will fall asleep, and then  my glasses usually disappear into the bedclothes, somewhere. We keep a window open all winter, so as to use both a quilt over a sheet, and a down comforter on top. So several layers for a pair of glasses to get lost in.

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