CNN reports historic breaking news: Former President Trump has been indicted by a Manhattan grand jury in connection with the Hush Money payments scheme. This is the first time a former president has been indicted in U.S. history. Exact charges are unknown. #TrumpIndictment pic.twitter.com/RKD53dvu8N
— Gerard Monier (@gwmonier) March 30, 2023
BREAKING: A Manhattan grand jury has voted on whether to indict Donald Trump. https://t.co/RdYLvfum24 pic.twitter.com/1X2d4gTUu9
— MSNBC (@MSNBC) March 30, 2023
He will be fingerprinted. He will be photographed. He may even be handcuffed.
Now that a Manhattan grand jury has voted to indict Donald Trump, here’s what will happen when he is arrested. https://t.co/1rzwYG7y30
— The New York Times (@nytimes) March 30, 2023
A rare triple stomp!
There’s blood in the streets that’s up to my ankles!
Though, also, I am very tired of living in interesting times.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh happy day!
@HumboldtBlue: and here I thought no one would know!
Nobody better pull any of these posts! This is historic, and a triple-stomp is a fine way to celebrate!
I like that the first indictment is for such tawdry, low life mafia don stuff. The media will talk about it in excruciating detail forever.
This one has what the media prefers: simple, easy to explain story, involving illicit sex with a porn star no less, and a former mob lawyer seeking redemption by telling the truth. Rub the Talibangelical’s faces in it.
With a topic like this, I say the more posts, the merrier!
Nelson Muntz voice: “Ha-ha!”
I’m hauling a frozen half cake out of the freezer and saw off a slice to enjoy tonight after I’ve danced a wee Fuck the Fucker jig and then place the remaining cake back in the freezer for future indictments because cake. And best wishes to all who celebrate He’s Been Indicted Day.
I guess this is technically a double stomp.
Here’s a yee: YEE!
Here’s a haw: HAW!
Here’s an lfg: LFG!
I had cake at lunch today. You’re welcome.
@Baud: file that under “things I don’t want to look up on urban dictionary”
Lock him up!
I saw a tweet that said Weisselberg has fired his Trump-funded lawyers and may have decided to flip on Trump. They may have enough goods on him that it’s now worth it to him to rat out his boss.
eta: okay, I should have scrolled down.
@Baud: I’m calling it a double. A two bagger. Kind of like the two bags Stormy should have used for Trumps head in case one broke.
@Baud: We haven’t heard from Betty Cracker yet, front-page-wise, so a triple stomp can still happen. But all these stomps are going to dilute the possibility of any one of them getting to a Tbogg Unit.
C’mon guys! We have more front pagers than this! Where’s that Dick Mayhew guy?
we will need to quash some threads. simulposting.
LOL Cohen on MSNBC talking about possible protests or whatever: “New York is not the place you want to be stupid”
How do we get to TBogg Units with all these stomps.
@Baud: Hey, if they can call the third championship a threepeat, then this can be a triple stomp.
[eta: Turkey Stomp ]
I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.”
Ceci n est pas mon nym
@SiubhanDuinne: In fact I think it would be a fine thing if every Balloon Juice front-pager posted their own take. Crack another bottle of Schadenfreude! Plenty to go around!
And let’s not forget the trial for E. Jean Carroll’s defamation case starts on April 25.
We need some more posts about this. Where the hell are all the other front pagers?
That makes sense though.
I baked triple chocolate brownies last night, yesterday got the news that we are getting a $7000 tax refund, made reservations for a trip to Tuscany and NOW THIS!! Today the Universe loves me!!
@Ceci n est pas mon nym:
The night of perpetual posts!
trump will probably turn himself in on Good Friday.
@Burnspbesq: We had a cake in the office today to celebrate a colleague’s 25 years on the job. Obviously some good mojo there.
I refuse to believe it until TaMara posts a thread.
Okay, but I do wish they’d get Cohen off the air, he’s kind of being rambly and navel-gazing.
Mug shots and fingerprints are nice. Will they also publish accurate measurements of his height and weight? Especially his weight !
@Poe Larity: Bassett Hounds or Shakira- same as it ever was.
This is not the day to go all pedantic on us, Baud.
well well well someone just gifted me some “Bigfoot Barley Wine Ale” and I’m pretty sure that goes nicely with CAKE
@SiubhanDuinne: Betty Cracker needs to weigh in with a post. I for one would find it entirely satisfying if all 7 of the posts on the front page were about the indictment.
I hope whoever does the cavity search gets hazard pay.
Odie Hugh Manatee
He may be shitting his pants over this but TFG’s been ready for this moment because he’s wearing Depends!
Corks will be a-poppin’ tonight!
The cake is not a lie…
I leave the site for a millisecond, and when I return, I see 3 posts about the indictment. Truly, Balloon-Juice aims to serve.
Joseph Patrick Lurker
While this is good news, we would have been far better off if Trump had been indicted for Georgia vote tampering, illegal possession of classified documents, or the January 6th insurrection. Those crimes are significantly worse than paying a porn star to keep quiet.
I’ll hold off celebrating until Trump gets indicted for something important.
What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be passed out on the floor from all the cake.
I look forward to watching him ignoring his lawyer’s advice
NYT headline :
Grand Jury votes to indict Trump.
For once the NYT have framed a story correctly.
Ordinary citizens made this decision.
@JPL: First I laughed and then I figured you were right about that.
Forget the perp walk, carry him in on a cross.
@Baud: All the past and present front pagers should get in on the action!
@Joseph Patrick Lurker: Just wait.
I’m surprised the NYT didn’t go with
Wow. I step away from the internet for an afternoon and the entire world changes. Can’t wait to read all the details.
It’s well deserved.
@Ceci n est pas mon nym:
Angry Black Lady!
@Joseph Patrick Lurker: Just because this came first doesn’t mean it’s the only one.
What a difference a “c” can make: “My Heart Is Inditing”
Coverup of Stormy’s TIts make Area Man Go Down
@Raven: Coming out of the street’s whatever!
Nice and sleazy does it. I can’t wait to see tomorrow’s headlines.
TFG is going to love the bit where Stormy’s description of his genitalia and (lack of) sexual prowess goes into the court record. Not all publicity is good publicity
So, who will deny they know Trump three times before the cock crows?
O Frabjous Day, Callou, Callay!
Can’t help but chortle in my joy.
I’m not worried. He’ll never survive three days in a cave without television or hamberders.
Besides, his hands are far too tiny to shove a stone aside.
Cole just took executive action and triple-stomped.
Formerly disgruntled in Oregon
@Joseph Patrick Lurker:
You left out “during a Presidential election”. This does matter.
@SiubhanDuinne: But not Freddy deBoer.
Good stuff. Sierra Nevada for those wondering.
Joseph Patrick Lurker
I look forward to the other prosecutors getting their shit together, especially Willis in Georgia.
I understand the need for prosecutors to dot every i and cross every t, but Trump has escaped accountability his entire life.
Justice needs to be served for Trump’s major crimes.
I made chocolate truffles, coconut truffles and gingerbread truffles last night. Time to savor them!
Deputinize Eurasia from the Kuriles to St Petersburg
”This is bad news for Joe Biden”.
BC in Illinois
I know that there is a long road ahead, but –out of character for a registered Septuagenarian– I have set the TV to a continuing cycle of “HAPPY” while I check for and enjoy reactions.
It might seem crazy what I am ’bout to say
Sunshine, she’s here, you can take a break
I’m a hot air balloon that could go to space
With the air, like I don’t care, baby by the way
. . . Because I’m happy . . .
+ + +
Only thing is, I feel obligated to wait until Mrs BC gets home from a brass rehearsal, before we break out the Baileys.
I’ve been waiting for Trump or a spokesperson to release a
CNN has a comment from an associate. Look for a Truth Social diatribe tonight.
@laura: I would like to see a Fred Basset comic strip where Fred is rocking out to Whenever, Wherever.
I’m okay with leading off the indictment tsunami with pornstar hush money. It rubs it in the noses of the MAGAt crowd that their savior is a one-man sleazefest.
Especially after they’ve been telling us for 25 years that Clinton getting an illicit hummer in the Whitehouse broom closet was the worst crime ever.
@Joseph Patrick Lurker: While I may have preferred him to have been indicted for something else I’ll take this and I’ll enjoy it. Life is too short not to enjoy something like this.
A celebrity I follow on Twitter who doesn’t like Trump said this was a sad day for America. No, no way. There have been plenty of sad days in this country. Trump getting indicted isn’t sad at all.
@pluky: No, no. His height. Justice demands publication of his height.
Is he taller than Kamala??
Run out and get a lotto ticket. Your luck may never be this good again.
I wasn’t going to do it, but now I gotta make a bourbon run! Time to celebrate with the good stuff!!
@Baud: 🎵We’re gonna stomp, all night🎶
@SuzieC: Vegas. You. Me. Let’s go. Seriously, congratulations!
@BenCisco 🇺🇸🎖️🖥️♦️: Ooooh! Breaking out the Brothers Johnson who, IMHO, is one of the most underrated groups ever.
@Glidwrith: Did you see that I typed up the recipe and copied it into the former thread for you?
I had the cherry recipe in one place and the buttermilk cornmeal galette in another place, so this was good incentive for me to actually type up the recipe and have it all in one place.
@Deputinize Eurasia from the Kuriles to St Petersburg: You’ve got that wrong.
@Joseph Patrick Lurker: Braggs has opened the floodgates for everyone “not willing to be the first to indict a former President!”
Let the floodgates OPEN!!!
@WaterGirl: Oh, wow! Thank you!
And something for you: just as Anne Laurie’s Covid threads have saved lives, never doubt what you have been doing to organize and raise money to beat back the rising evil has saved lives as well.
I wanted your as a positive affirmation for how if we fight hard enough, good things happen. Let the small-souled, black hearted dung heap of orange waste rot. Today we enjoy PIE! (Or cherry galette).
The Pale Scot
Oh PLEASE just put him in holding for just a bit so he gets to experience a digital examination, I think the tosser would enjoy it.
Pleaz Pleaz Pleaz
@Glidwrith: Yay! Let me know if you have any questions about the recipe. I tried to explain things.
Take note of the 2 options for the cherry filling.
James E Powell
@Joseph Patrick Lurker:
OH. MY. GOD!
Or am I missing the sarcasm?
The Pale Scot
Now for Jar Jar and Cruelela
May it be the first of many.
@Another Scott: Height and weight, hopefully. 6’3″ and 239 lbs my ass.
I look forward to Tony Jay’s reaction.
Ofcourse, I may not have enough memory on my iPhone 12 to view it
@WaterGirl: Got it, definitely a weekend bake for me, but it looks great!
@Glidwrith: I tend to make the cherry filling and the buttermilk cornmeal crust the day before.
Then the next day it’s a breeze, just pull them both out of the fridge, roll out the dough, spoon the cherries on top and bake.
It looks longer and harder than it is. The cherries are crazy easy, and so is the dough.
But that was a long recipe when I typed it out! Don’t let it scare you.
@Alison Rose: Yes he’s a menace. He could sink the whole th8ng if he doesn’t keep his big trap shut. Christ I can’t stand the way witnesses and others involved in litigation feel free to go tv and the rest of the media to blather about a court case. It should be illegal.
@WaterGirl: I make a killer chicken bastilla. I’m fine, just extremely time limited.
@Raven: or 5 to 10 at Woolworth