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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Breaking News Open Thread: TFG Indicted

Breaking News Open Thread: TFG Indicted

by Anne Laurie|  March 30, 20235:47 pm| 102 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Republican Venality, Trump Crime Cartel, Trumpery

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CNN reports historic breaking news: Former President Trump has been indicted by a Manhattan grand jury in connection with the Hush Money payments scheme. This is the first time a former president has been indicted in U.S. history. Exact charges are unknown. #TrumpIndictment pic.twitter.com/RKD53dvu8N

— Gerard Monier (@gwmonier) March 30, 2023

BREAKING: A Manhattan grand jury has voted on whether to indict Donald Trump. https://t.co/RdYLvfum24 pic.twitter.com/1X2d4gTUu9

— MSNBC (@MSNBC) March 30, 2023

He will be fingerprinted. He will be photographed. He may even be handcuffed.

Now that a Manhattan grand jury has voted to indict Donald Trump, here’s what will happen when he is arrested. https://t.co/1rzwYG7y30

— The New York Times (@nytimes) March 30, 2023

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Previous Post: « Cheeto Benito Indicted
Next Post: HEY DID YOU GUYS HEAR »

Reader Interactions

102Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    March 30, 2023 at 5:48 pm

    A rare triple stomp!

  2. 2.

    Raven

    March 30, 2023 at 5:48 pm

    There’s blood in the streets that’s up to my ankles!

  3. 3.

    HumboldtBlue

    March 30, 2023 at 5:49 pm

    @Raven:

    She came!

  4. 4.

    Nicole

    March 30, 2023 at 5:49 pm

    HOLY COW.

    Also good.

    Though, also, I am very tired of living in interesting times.

  5. 5.

    geg6

    March 30, 2023 at 5:50 pm

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Oh happy day!

  6. 6.

    Raven

    March 30, 2023 at 5:50 pm

    @HumboldtBlue: and here I thought no one would know!

  7. 7.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 30, 2023 at 5:50 pm

    @Baud:

    Nobody better pull any of these posts! This is historic, and a triple-stomp is a fine way to celebrate!

  8. 8.

    StringOnAStick

    March 30, 2023 at 5:51 pm

    I like that the first indictment is for such tawdry, low life mafia don stuff.  The media will talk about it in excruciating detail forever.

    This one has what the media prefers: simple, easy to explain story, involving illicit sex with a porn star no less, and a former mob lawyer seeking redemption by telling the truth.  Rub the Talibangelical’s faces in it.

  9. 9.

    Raven

    March 30, 2023 at 5:51 pm

    Peace Frog

    https://youtu.be/6lnoM25D-js

  10. 10.

    Alison Rose

    March 30, 2023 at 5:52 pm

    With a topic like this, I say the more posts, the merrier!

  11. 11.

    C Stars

    March 30, 2023 at 5:52 pm

    Nelson Muntz voice: “Ha-ha!”

  12. 12.

    laura

    March 30, 2023 at 5:53 pm

    I’m hauling a frozen half cake out of the freezer and saw off a slice to enjoy tonight after I’ve danced a wee Fuck the Fucker jig and then place the remaining cake back in the freezer for future indictments because cake. And best wishes to all who celebrate He’s Been Indicted Day.

  13. 13.

    Baud

    March 30, 2023 at 5:53 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I guess this is technically a double stomp.

  14. 14.

    trollhattan

    March 30, 2023 at 5:54 pm

    Here’s a yee: YEE!
    Here’s a haw: HAW!
    Here’s an lfg: LFG!

  15. 15.

    Burnspbesq

    March 30, 2023 at 5:54 pm

    I had cake at lunch today. You’re welcome.

  16. 16.

    Alison Rose

    March 30, 2023 at 5:55 pm

    @Baud: file that under “things I don’t want to look up on urban dictionary”

  17. 17.

    Rocks

    March 30, 2023 at 5:55 pm

    Lock him up!

  18. 18.

    Princess

    March 30, 2023 at 5:56 pm

    I saw a tweet that said Weisselberg has fired his Trump-funded lawyers and may have decided to flip on Trump. They may have enough goods on him that it’s now worth it to him to rat out his boss.

    eta: okay, I should have scrolled down.

  19. 19.

    Dangerman

    March 30, 2023 at 5:57 pm

    @Baud: I’m calling it a double. A two bagger. Kind of like the two bags Stormy should have used for Trumps head in case one broke.

  20. 20.

    Layer8Problem

    March 30, 2023 at 5:58 pm

    @Baud:  We haven’t heard from Betty Cracker yet, front-page-wise, so a triple stomp can still happen.  But all these stomps are going to dilute the possibility of any one of them getting to a Tbogg Unit.

  21. 21.

    Yutsano

    March 30, 2023 at 5:58 pm

    C’mon guys! We have more front pagers than this! Where’s that Dick Mayhew guy?

  22. 22.

    moops

    March 30, 2023 at 5:58 pm

    we will need to quash some threads.  simulposting.

  23. 23.

    Alison Rose

    March 30, 2023 at 5:58 pm

    LOL Cohen on MSNBC talking about possible protests or whatever: “New York is not the place you want to be stupid”

  24. 24.

    Poe Larity

    March 30, 2023 at 5:59 pm

    How do we get to TBogg Units with all these stomps.

  25. 25.

    Mo MacArbie

    March 30, 2023 at 6:00 pm

    @Baud: Hey, if they can call the third championship a threepeat, then this can be a triple stomp.

    Turkey

    [eta: Turkey Stomp ]

  26. 26.

    Raven

    March 30, 2023 at 6:01 pm

    I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.”

  27. 27.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    March 30, 2023 at 6:01 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: In fact I think it would be a fine thing if every Balloon Juice front-pager posted their own take. Crack another bottle of Schadenfreude! Plenty to go around!

    And let’s not forget the trial for E. Jean Carroll’s defamation case starts on April 25.

  28. 28.

    SpaceUnit

    March 30, 2023 at 6:01 pm

    We need some more posts about this.  Where the hell are all the other front pagers?

  29. 29.

    Baud

    March 30, 2023 at 6:02 pm

    @Mo MacArbie:

    That makes sense though.

    1. Peat
    2. Repeat
    3. Threepeat.
  30. 30.

    SuzieC

    March 30, 2023 at 6:02 pm

    I baked triple chocolate brownies last night, yesterday got the news that we are getting a $7000 tax refund, made reservations for a trip to Tuscany and NOW THIS!!  Today the Universe loves me!!

  31. 31.

    Baud

    March 30, 2023 at 6:02 pm

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:

    The night of perpetual posts!

  32. 32.

    JPL

    March 30, 2023 at 6:02 pm

    trump will probably turn himself in on Good Friday.

  33. 33.

    Emily B.

    March 30, 2023 at 6:03 pm

    @Burnspbesq: We had a cake in the office today to celebrate a colleague’s 25 years on the job. Obviously some good mojo there.

  34. 34.

    Delk

    March 30, 2023 at 6:03 pm

    I refuse to believe it until TaMara posts a thread.

  35. 35.

    Alison Rose

    March 30, 2023 at 6:03 pm

    Okay, but I do wish they’d get Cohen off the air, he’s kind of being rambly and navel-gazing.

  36. 36.

    M31

    March 30, 2023 at 6:04 pm

    CAKE

  37. 37.

    pluky

    March 30, 2023 at 6:04 pm

    Mug shots and fingerprints are nice. Will they also publish accurate measurements of his height and weight? Especially his weight !

  38. 38.

    laura

    March 30, 2023 at 6:04 pm

    @Poe Larity: Bassett Hounds or Shakira- same as it ever was.

  39. 39.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 30, 2023 at 6:05 pm

    @Baud:

    This is not the day to go all pedantic on us, Baud.

  40. 40.

    M31

    March 30, 2023 at 6:05 pm

    well well well someone just gifted me some “Bigfoot Barley Wine Ale” and I’m pretty sure that goes nicely with CAKE

  41. 41.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:05 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Betty Cracker needs to weigh in with a post.  I for one would find it entirely satisfying if all 7 of the posts on the front page were about the indictment.

  42. 42.

    Baud

    March 30, 2023 at 6:05 pm

    I hope whoever does the cavity search gets hazard pay.

  43. 43.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    March 30, 2023 at 6:05 pm

    He may be shitting his pants over this but TFG’s been ready for this moment because he’s wearing Depends!

    Corks will be a-poppin’ tonight!

    The cake is not a lie…

  44. 44.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 30, 2023 at 6:05 pm

    @Burnspbesq:

    Prescient.

  45. 45.

    Lapassionara

    March 30, 2023 at 6:06 pm

    I leave the site for a millisecond, and when I return, I see 3 posts about the indictment. Truly, Balloon-Juice aims to serve.

  46. 46.

    Joseph Patrick Lurker

    March 30, 2023 at 6:06 pm

    While this is good news, we would have been far better off if Trump had been indicted for Georgia vote tampering, illegal possession of classified documents, or the January 6th insurrection. Those crimes are significantly worse than paying a porn star to keep quiet.

    I’ll hold off celebrating until Trump gets indicted for something important.

  47. 47.

    SpaceUnit

    March 30, 2023 at 6:07 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    What are you doing here?  You’re supposed to be passed out on the floor from all the cake.

  48. 48.

    kalakal

    March 30, 2023 at 6:07 pm

    I look forward to watching him ignoring his lawyer’s advice

  49. 49.

    Sanjeevs

    March 30, 2023 at 6:08 pm

    NYT headline :

    Grand Jury votes to indict Trump.

     

    For once the NYT have framed a story correctly.
    Ordinary citizens made this decision.

  50. 50.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:08 pm

    @JPL: First I laughed and then I figured you were right about that.

    Forget the perp walk, carry him in on a cross.

  51. 51.

    Another Scott

    March 30, 2023 at 6:08 pm

    @Baud: All the past and present front pagers should get in on the action!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  52. 52.

    SuzieC

    March 30, 2023 at 6:08 pm

    @Joseph Patrick Lurker: Just wait.

  53. 53.

    Baud

    March 30, 2023 at 6:09 pm

    @Sanjeevs:

    I’m surprised the NYT didn’t go with

    Grand Jury votes to indict Trump, not Biden.

  54. 54.

    Ohio Mom

    March 30, 2023 at 6:10 pm

    Wow. I step away from the internet for an afternoon and the entire world changes. Can’t wait to read all the details.

  55. 55.

    Roger Moore

    March 30, 2023 at 6:10 pm

    @Baud: ​
     

    A rare triple stomp!

    It’s well deserved.

  56. 56.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 30, 2023 at 6:10 pm

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:

    In fact I think it would be a fine thing if every Balloon Juice front-pager posted their own take.

    Cheryl Rofer!
    Angry Black Lady!
    Randinho!
    Dengre!

  57. 57.

    Alison Rose

    March 30, 2023 at 6:12 pm

    @Joseph Patrick Lurker: Just because this came first doesn’t mean it’s the only one.

  58. 58.

    prostratedragon

    March 30, 2023 at 6:12 pm

    What a difference a “c” can make: “My Heart Is Inditing”

  59. 59.

    M31

    March 30, 2023 at 6:12 pm

    Coverup of Stormy’s TIts make Area Man Go Down

  60. 60.

    Matt McIrvin

    March 30, 2023 at 6:14 pm

    @Raven: Coming out of the street’s whatever!

  61. 61.

    kalakal

    March 30, 2023 at 6:15 pm

    Nice and sleazy does it. I can’t wait to see tomorrow’s headlines.

    TFG is going to love the bit where Stormy’s description of his genitalia and (lack of) sexual prowess goes into the court record. Not all publicity is good publicity

  62. 62.

    Roger Moore

    March 30, 2023 at 6:15 pm

    @JPL:

    trump will probably turn himself in on Good Friday.

    So, who will deny they know Trump three times before the cock crows?

  63. 63.

    lowtechcyclist

    March 30, 2023 at 6:15 pm

    O Frabjous Day, Callou, Callay!

    Can’t help but chortle in my joy.

  64. 64.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 30, 2023 at 6:16 pm

    @JPL:

    I’m not worried. He’ll never survive three days in a cave without television or hamberders.

    Besides, his hands are far too tiny to shove a stone aside.

  65. 65.

    Layer8Problem

    March 30, 2023 at 6:17 pm

    Cole just took executive action and triple-stomped.

  66. 66.

    Formerly disgruntled in Oregon

    March 30, 2023 at 6:18 pm

    @Joseph Patrick Lurker:

    paying a porn star to keep quiet

     

    You left out “during a Presidential election”. This does matter.

  67. 67.

    Princess

    March 30, 2023 at 6:19 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: But not Freddy deBoer.

  68. 68.

    mrmoshpotato

    March 30, 2023 at 6:20 pm

    @M31:

    well well well someone just gifted me some “Bigfoot Barley Wine Ale” 

    Good stuff.  Sierra Nevada for those wondering.

  69. 69.

    Joseph Patrick Lurker

    March 30, 2023 at 6:21 pm

    @Alison Rose:

     Just because this came first doesn’t mean it’s the only one.

    I look forward to the other prosecutors getting their shit together, especially Willis in Georgia.

    I understand the need for prosecutors to dot every i and cross every t, but Trump has escaped accountability his entire life.

    Justice needs to be served for Trump’s major crimes.

  70. 70.

    Glidwrith

    March 30, 2023 at 6:21 pm

    I made chocolate truffles, coconut truffles and gingerbread truffles last night. Time to savor them!

  71. 71.

    Deputinize Eurasia from the Kuriles to St Petersburg

    March 30, 2023 at 6:22 pm

    @Baud:

    ”This is bad news for Joe Biden”.

  72. 72.

    BC in Illinois

    March 30, 2023 at 6:22 pm

    I know that there is a long road ahead, but –out of character for a registered Septuagenarian– I have set the TV to a continuing cycle of “HAPPY” while I check for and enjoy reactions.

    It might seem crazy what I am ’bout to say

    Sunshine, she’s here, you can take a break

    I’m a hot air balloon that could go to space

    With the air, like I don’t care, baby by the way

    . . . Because I’m happy . . .

    + + +
    Only thing is, I feel obligated to wait until Mrs BC gets home from a brass rehearsal, before we break out the Baileys.

  73. 73.

    Scout211

    March 30, 2023 at 6:22 pm

    I’ve been waiting for Trump or a spokesperson to release a diatribe  reaction.

    CNN has a comment from an associate.  Look for a Truth Social diatribe tonight.

    Trump was caught off guard by the grand jury’s decision to indict him, according to a person who spoke directly with him, but he is preparing a response and is poised to react with either a video message or a statement Thursday night.

    While the former president was bracing for an indictment last week, he began to believe news reports that a potential indictment was weeks – or more – away.

    “Is this a shock today? Hell yes,” the person said, speaking on the condition of anonymity as Trump’s team calculated its

  74. 74.

    mrmoshpotato

    March 30, 2023 at 6:22 pm

    @laura: I would like to see a Fred Basset comic strip where Fred is rocking out to Whenever, Wherever.

  75. 75.

    mrmoshpotato

    March 30, 2023 at 6:24 pm

    @Raven: Classic.

  76. 76.

    SpaceUnit

    March 30, 2023 at 6:24 pm

    I’m okay with leading off the indictment tsunami with pornstar hush money.  It rubs it in the noses of the MAGAt crowd that their savior is a one-man sleazefest.

    Especially after they’ve been telling us for 25 years that Clinton getting an illicit hummer in the Whitehouse broom closet was the worst crime ever.

  77. 77.

    Tazj

    March 30, 2023 at 6:25 pm

    @Joseph Patrick Lurker: While I may have preferred him to have been indicted for something else I’ll take this and I’ll enjoy it. Life is too short not to enjoy something like this.

    A celebrity I follow on Twitter who doesn’t like Trump said this was a sad day for America. No, no way. There have been plenty of sad days in this country. Trump getting indicted isn’t sad at all.

  78. 78.

    Another Scott

    March 30, 2023 at 6:25 pm

    @pluky: No, no.  His height.  Justice demands publication of his height.

    Is he taller than Kamala??

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  79. 79.

    NeenerNeener

    March 30, 2023 at 6:27 pm

    @SuzieC: ​
      Run out and get a lotto ticket. Your luck may never be this good again.

  80. 80.

    WV Blondie

    March 30, 2023 at 6:28 pm

    I wasn’t going to do it, but now I gotta make a bourbon run! Time to celebrate with the good stuff!!

  81. 81.

    BenCisco 🇺🇸🎖️🖥️♦️

    March 30, 2023 at 6:31 pm

    @Baud: 🎵We’re gonna stomp, all night🎶

  82. 82.

    EarthWindFire

    March 30, 2023 at 6:34 pm

    @SuzieC: Vegas. You. Me. Let’s go. Seriously, congratulations!

  83. 83.

    Kathleen

    March 30, 2023 at 6:35 pm

    @BenCisco 🇺🇸🎖️🖥️♦️: Ooooh! Breaking out the Brothers Johnson who, IMHO, is one of the most underrated groups ever.

  84. 84.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:40 pm

    @Glidwrith: Did you see that I typed up the recipe and copied it into the former thread for you?

    I had the cherry recipe in one place and the buttermilk cornmeal galette in another place, so this was good incentive for me to actually type up the recipe and have it all in one place.

  85. 85.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:40 pm

    @Deputinize Eurasia from the Kuriles to St Petersburg: You’ve got that wrong.

    Is Joe Biden next?

  86. 86.

    Jackie

    March 30, 2023 at 6:40 pm

    @Joseph Patrick Lurker: Braggs has opened the floodgates for everyone “not willing to be the first to indict a former President!”

    Let the floodgates OPEN!!!

  87. 87.

    Glidwrith

    March 30, 2023 at 6:54 pm

    @WaterGirl: Oh, wow! Thank you!

    And something for you: just as Anne Laurie’s Covid threads have saved lives, never doubt what you have been doing to organize and raise money to beat back the rising evil has saved lives as well.

    I wanted your as a positive affirmation for how if we fight hard enough, good things happen. Let the small-souled, black hearted dung heap of orange waste rot. Today we enjoy PIE! (Or cherry galette).

  88. 88.

    The Pale Scot

    March 30, 2023 at 7:02 pm

    Oh PLEASE just put him in holding for just a bit so he gets to experience a digital examination, I think the tosser would enjoy it.

    Pleaz Pleaz Pleaz

  89. 89.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 7:07 pm

    @Glidwrith: Yay!  Let me know if you have any questions about the recipe.  I tried to explain things.

    Take note of the 2 options for the cherry filling.

  90. 90.

    James E Powell

    March 30, 2023 at 7:10 pm

    @Joseph Patrick Lurker:

    While this is good news, we would have been far better off if Trump had been indicted for Georgia vote tampering, illegal possession of classified documents, or the January 6th insurrection. Those crimes are significantly worse than paying a porn star to keep quiet.

    I’ll hold off celebrating until Trump gets indicted for something important.

    OH. MY. GOD!

    Or am I missing the sarcasm?

  91. 91.

    The Pale Scot

    March 30, 2023 at 7:12 pm

    Now for Jar Jar and Cruelela

  92. 92.

    FastEdD

    March 30, 2023 at 7:15 pm

    Halle-fucking-lujah.

    May it be the first of many.

  93. 93.

    VOR

    March 30, 2023 at 7:17 pm

    @Another Scott: Height and weight, hopefully. 6’3″ and 239 lbs my ass.

  94. 94.

    Raoul Paste

    March 30, 2023 at 7:17 pm

    I look forward to Tony Jay’s reaction.
    Ofcourse, I may not have enough memory on my iPhone 12 to view it

  95. 95.

    Glidwrith

    March 30, 2023 at 7:18 pm

    @WaterGirl: Got it, definitely a weekend bake for me, but it looks great!

  96. 96.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 7:26 pm

    @Glidwrith: I tend to make the cherry filling and the buttermilk cornmeal crust the day before.

    Then the next day it’s a breeze, just pull them both out of the fridge, roll out the dough, spoon the cherries on top and bake.

    It looks longer and harder than it is.  The cherries are crazy easy, and so is the dough.

    But that was a long recipe when I typed it out!  Don’t let it scare you.

  97. 97.

    brantl

    March 30, 2023 at 7:31 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: DougJ

  98. 98.

    Aussie Sheila

    March 30, 2023 at 7:41 pm

    @Alison Rose: Yes he’s a menace. He could sink the whole th8ng if he doesn’t keep his big trap shut. Christ I can’t stand the way witnesses and others involved in litigation feel free to go tv and the rest of the media to blather about a court case. It should be illegal.

  99. 99.

    brantl

    March 30, 2023 at 7:46 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: DougJ

  100. 100.

    Glidwrith

    March 30, 2023 at 7:46 pm

    @WaterGirl: I make a killer chicken bastilla. I’m fine, just extremely time limited.

  101. 101.

    barbequebob

    March 30, 2023 at 7:49 pm

    @Raven: or 5 to 10 at Woolworth

  102. 102.

    SuzieC

    March 30, 2023 at 8:21 pm

    @NeenerNeener:

    @EarthWindFire:

    YesYesYes!!

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