Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Second rate reporter says what?

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

In after Baud. Damn.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

Trumpflation is an intolerable hardship for every American, and it’s Trump’s fault.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

Hey hey, RFK, how many kids did you kill today?

The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

The lights are all blinking red.

I really should read my own blog.

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

How stupid are these people?

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Trump Crime Cartel / Cheeto Benito Indicted

Cheeto Benito Indicted

by | 76 Comments

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Breaking:

A Manhattan grand jury voted to indict Donald J. Trump on Thursday for his role in paying hush money to a porn star, according to four people with knowledge of the matter, a historic development that will shake up the 2024 presidential race and forever mark him as the nation’s first former president to face criminal charges.

The felony indictment, filed under seal by the Manhattan district attorney’s office, will likely be announced in the coming days. By then, prosecutors working for the district attorney, Alvin L. Bragg, will have asked Mr. Trump to surrender and to face arraignment on charges that remain unknown for now.

That would explain why Ivanka’s PR team dumped this to People magazine yesterday:

Ivanka Trump is continuing to keep her distance from her father, Donald Trump, as a grand jury weighs whether to indict the former president over an alleged hush money payment made to a porn star in 2016.

“Even though Ivanka loves her dad, she knows how impossible he can be,” a social source tells PEOPLE — though another person close to the former first daughter alleges there is no tension in their father-daughter relationship, and that she’s simply focused on raising her children and building a life in Miami.

The initial source says that 41-year-old Ivanka “is recreating her business life and raising her children which are her priorities. She is through with politics.”

These people are so fucking phony and predictable.

Reader Interactions

76Comments

  11. 11.

    HumboldtBlue

    • Mr. Bragg and his lawyers will likely attempt to negotiate Mr. Trump’s surrender. If he agrees, it will raise the prospect of a former president, with the Secret Service in tow, being photographed and fingerprinted in the bowels of a New York State courthouse.
    • The prosecution’s star witness is Michael D. Cohen, Mr. Trump’s former fixer who paid the $130,000 to keep Ms. Daniels quiet. Mr. Cohen has said that Mr. Trump directed him to buy Ms. Daniels’s silence, and that Mr. Trump and his family business, the Trump Organization, helped cover the whole thing up. The company’s internal records falsely identified the reimbursements as legal expenses, which helped conceal the purpose of the payments.
    • Although the specific charges remain unknown, Mr. Bragg’s prosecutors have zeroed in on that hush money payment and the false records created by Mr. Trump’s company. A conviction is not a sure thing: An attempt to combine a charge relating to the false records with an election violation relating to the payment to Ms. Daniels would be based on a legal theory that has yet to be evaluated by judges, raising the possibility that a court could throw out or limit the charges.
    • The vote to indict, the product of a nearly five-year investigation, kicks off a new and volatile phase in Mr. Trump’s post-presidential life as he makes a third run for the White House. And it could throw the race for the Republican nomination — which he leads in most polls — into uncharted territory.
    • Mr. Bragg is the first prosecutor to lead an indictment of Mr. Trump. He is now likely to become a national figure enduring a harsh political spotlight.
  13. 13.

    mrmoshpotato

    Cry harder, Trump trash!  Your twice-impeached, Kremlin-humping, traitorous, orange shitstain who hates all of you racist, fascistic idiots just got INDICTED!

  21. 21.

    Alison Rose

    Hahahahahah from the NYT:

    Accommodations may be made for Mr. Trump. While it is standard for defendants arrested on felony charges to be handcuffed, it is unclear whether an exception will be made for the former president because of his status. Most defendants have their hands cuffed behind their backs, but some white-collar defendants who are deemed to pose less of a danger have their hands secured in front of them.

    Or if the schmuck’s wrists won’t meet behind his back.

  24. 24.

    Betty Cracker

    Taking my bottle of champagne that I was saving for when news of Trump’s eventual dirt nap reached me out of the fridge and popping that cork right fucking now! An indictment is good enough! And I heard it here first. Cheers, friends!  🍾🥂

  27. 27.

    JoyceH

    @HumboldtBlue:

    Mr. Bragg’s prosecutors have zeroed in on that hush money payment and the false records created by Mr. Trump’s company.

    Oh, yay! I was so hoping that someone sometime would finally hold Trump accountable for DECADES of tax fraud! Did Weisselberg flip?

  33. 33.

    CaseyL

    I don’t have any cake, or even pie, alas.

    But I do have some sour cherries, and some dark chocolate, and I can improvise.

  37. 37.

    StringOnAStick

    @JoyceH: No, Weisslberg hasn’t flipped as far as we know.  Cohen’s testimony was apparently enough to show that he was repaid with funds structured to come out of campaign funds.  If I was Weiselberg, I’d be thinking a  lot harder about how much of the rest of my life I want to spend in prison.

  40. 40.

    CaseyL

    @WaterGirl: That sounds delish, but I lack both the rum and the limes.

    But there is nothing wrong with a bite of chocolate washed down with a cherry.  Or vise versa.

  41. 41.

    MisterDancer

    There’s poetic justice that Trump got busted first for basically trying to fuck over a sex worker.

    And no, I don’t mean that ironically, or sarcastically.

  42. 42.

    JoyceH

    @StringOnAStick: ​
     

    If I was Weiselberg, I’d be thinking a lot harder about how much of the rest of my life I want to spend in prison.

    Rumor/speculation is that he’s flipped or is about to flip. He’s dropped the Trump attorneys and that’s a sign.

  48. 48.

    PBK

    @WaterGirl: I love galettes.  And cherries.  Fortuitously in light of recent events I baked chocolate cherry brownies just two hours ago.  Going to break out the good bourbon to go with them.

  49. 49.

    Gin & Tonic

    Posted downstairs too, but the Turkish Parliament voted unanimously to agree to Finland’s application for NATO membership. It’s all over but the shouting. VV Putin again shows his strategic genius.

  50. 50.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Baud: ZIP TIES!!! Good enough for his goons to bring for Pence and Pelosi, good enough for an Orangehaired Shitgibbon! ​

  57. 57.

    columbusqueen

    @JoyceH: I keep thinking of the train station shootout in The Untouchables. Get the bookkeeper, you get everything.  Could a RICO action be far behind?

  59. 59.

    CaseyL

    @mrmoshpotato:

    Exactly.

    (A thin reed, but I am clinging to it.)

    (Having just devoured a small bowl of cherries and raspberries mixed with melted dark chocolate.)

  64. 64.

    WaterGirl

    @Glidwrith:

    CHERRIES (filling)

    Ingredients

    4 cups frozen sour cherries
    1 cup baker’s sugar
    3 Tablespoons cornstarch
    1/4 teaspoon salt
    1 teaspoon vanilla extract

    Cherry Notes:

    You can used frozen, fresh or canned sour cherries

    The cherry pie recipe calls for the amounts above, but I like mine more tart and less goopy, so I use 6 cups of cherries, 3/4 cup sugar, same cornstarch and salt as above.

    Put the frozen cherries in a large bowl.
    Stir together the sugar, cornstarch and salt.
    Sprinkle with the sugar mixture to distribute it evenly.
    Heat on the stove until cherries are thawed and the thickening juices are clear, not cloudy.

    Then I cover the cherries and put them in the refrigerator so the cherry juice firms up a bit, and I add it to the cornmeal crust (right out of the fridge)

    CORNMEAL CRUST

    Ingredients

    1 and 1/4 cups (150 grams) unbleached flour
    1/4 cup (30g) cornmeal
    1/4 cup (50g) granulated sugar
    1 stick cold unsalted butter, cut into small cubes
    1/4 teaspoon salt (I reduce the salt because I use salted butter)
    1/4 cup cold buttermilk

    To make the cornmeal crust:

    Whisk the flour, cornmeal, sugar, and salt together in a medium bowl.
    Using a pastry cutter or a couple forks, cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse, pea-sized crumbs.
    Add the buttermilk and stir until the flour is moistened.
    Add 1 more Tablespoon of buttermilk if the dough seems dry.
    Gently knead the dough a few times on a lightly floured work surface until it all comes together.
    Shape the dough into a ball and flatten it into a thick disk.
    Wrap it in plastic wrap and refrigerate it for at least 1 hour and up to 3 days (or freeze up to 3 months).

    When ready to assemble:

    Preheat oven to 425°F.
    I bake it in a deep, flat-sided pie pan, but you can also make it free-form on a baking sheet.
    Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat.
    On a lightly floured work surface, roll the dough (right from the fridge) into a 12-inch circle (or any shape, really!).
    Transfer dough to the pie pan or prepared baking sheet.
    Spoon the chilled cherry mixture into the pie pan that’s holding the cornmeal dough.
    Spoon the berries (not the juices) into the center of the dough, leaving a 2-3 inch border all around.
    Gently fold the edges of the dough over the fruit, overlapping the dough as necessary.
    Press gently to seal the edges.
    Brush the edges with egg wash (I don’t do that) and sprinkle with coarse sugar.
    Bake until the filling is bubbly and the crust is golden brown, about 25-28 minutes.
    Allow to cool on the baking sheet for 10 minutes or more before slicing and serving.

  67. 67.

    Manyakitty

    @WaterGirl: i just ate a little sundae. Now I’m thinking about a sour cherry mojito. Might make it a slushy in my smoothie blender. Hmmm. What could be bad?

  68. 68.

    EarthWindFire

    Spouse and me…headed out to our favorite pub to toast Alvin Bragg over a pint of Guinness. Happy Indictment Day!

  75. 75.

    RaflW

    “these people are so fucking phony”

    Her husband basically looks like a Tussaud’s wax figure, so yeah, definitely phony!

    Though I think she might actually be done with public politicing. It never seemed like fun for her, and while the access to Chinese purse parents was probably helpful, she and her nepotic soul mate have plenty of questionable pathways to moar money.

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