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You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Trump Crime Cartel / Cheeto Benito Indicted

Cheeto Benito Indicted

by John Cole|  March 30, 20235:33 pm| 76 Comments

This post is in: Trump Crime Cartel

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Breaking:

A Manhattan grand jury voted to indict Donald J. Trump on Thursday for his role in paying hush money to a porn star, according to four people with knowledge of the matter, a historic development that will shake up the 2024 presidential race and forever mark him as the nation’s first former president to face criminal charges.

The felony indictment, filed under seal by the Manhattan district attorney’s office, will likely be announced in the coming days. By then, prosecutors working for the district attorney, Alvin L. Bragg, will have asked Mr. Trump to surrender and to face arraignment on charges that remain unknown for now.

That would explain why Ivanka’s PR team dumped this to People magazine yesterday:

Ivanka Trump is continuing to keep her distance from her father, Donald Trump, as a grand jury weighs whether to indict the former president over an alleged hush money payment made to a porn star in 2016.

“Even though Ivanka loves her dad, she knows how impossible he can be,” a social source tells PEOPLE — though another person close to the former first daughter alleges there is no tension in their father-daughter relationship, and that she’s simply focused on raising her children and building a life in Miami.

The initial source says that 41-year-old Ivanka “is recreating her business life and raising her children which are her priorities. She is through with politics.”

These people are so fucking phony and predictable.

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Previous Post: «Holy Shit, What Did I Miss? 1 Cake! Manhattan Grand Jury Voted to Indict Trump
Next Post: Breaking News Open Thread: TFG Indicted »

Reader Interactions

76Comments

  1. 1.

    JoyceH

    March 30, 2023 at 5:33 pm

    PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!

  2. 2.

    Baud

    March 30, 2023 at 5:35 pm

    Stomp cake.

  3. 3.

    kindness

    March 30, 2023 at 5:38 pm

    The secret video recordings at dinner tonight at Mar-a-Lago will be priceless.

  4. 4.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 5:38 pm

    @Baud: John apparently hates me.

  5. 5.

    Layer8Problem

    March 30, 2023 at 5:39 pm

    @kindness:  There isn’t enough ketchup in the world to wash away this stain Donny.

  6. 6.

    jackmac

    March 30, 2023 at 5:39 pm

    WOO-HOO!!!!

    May this be the first of many indictments!

  7. 7.

    CaseyL

    March 30, 2023 at 5:40 pm

    One down, maybe a dozen more to go…

    Let indictments roll on like a mighty river.

  8. 8.

    Alison Rose

    March 30, 2023 at 5:41 pm

    @WaterGirl: bigfooting is how he shows love

  9. 9.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 5:41 pm

    @Alison Rose: Then John surely loves me a lot!

  10. 10.

    StringOnAStick

    March 30, 2023 at 5:41 pm

    Is Ivanka’s new name Judas?  I enjoyed this addition to Indictment Day #1.

  11. 11.

    HumboldtBlue

    March 30, 2023 at 5:42 pm

    • Mr. Bragg and his lawyers will likely attempt to negotiate Mr. Trump’s surrender. If he agrees, it will raise the prospect of a former president, with the Secret Service in tow, being photographed and fingerprinted in the bowels of a New York State courthouse.
    • The prosecution’s star witness is Michael D. Cohen, Mr. Trump’s former fixer who paid the $130,000 to keep Ms. Daniels quiet. Mr. Cohen has said that Mr. Trump directed him to buy Ms. Daniels’s silence, and that Mr. Trump and his family business, the Trump Organization, helped cover the whole thing up. The company’s internal records falsely identified the reimbursements as legal expenses, which helped conceal the purpose of the payments.
    • Although the specific charges remain unknown, Mr. Bragg’s prosecutors have zeroed in on that hush money payment and the false records created by Mr. Trump’s company. A conviction is not a sure thing: An attempt to combine a charge relating to the false records with an election violation relating to the payment to Ms. Daniels would be based on a legal theory that has yet to be evaluated by judges, raising the possibility that a court could throw out or limit the charges.
    • The vote to indict, the product of a nearly five-year investigation, kicks off a new and volatile phase in Mr. Trump’s post-presidential life as he makes a third run for the White House. And it could throw the race for the Republican nomination — which he leads in most polls — into uncharted territory.
    • Mr. Bragg is the first prosecutor to lead an indictment of Mr. Trump. He is now likely to become a national figure enduring a harsh political spotlight.
  12. 12.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 5:42 pm

    @Alison Rose:  I have thought a few times of just putting up a post so John can step on it. :-)

  13. 13.

    mrmoshpotato

    March 30, 2023 at 5:42 pm

    Cry harder, Trump trash!  Your twice-impeached, Kremlin-humping, traitorous, orange shitstain who hates all of you racist, fascistic idiots just got INDICTED!

  14. 14.

    twbrandt

    March 30, 2023 at 5:43 pm

    I wonder if he will be tried as an adult.

  15. 15.

    Alison Rose

    March 30, 2023 at 5:44 pm

    @WaterGirl: Hey, far be it from me to kink shame.

    Also LOL Ivanka, you vacuous little rat.

  16. 16.

    Btom89

    March 30, 2023 at 5:44 pm

    Whoooooooooo!!!!!

  17. 17.

    Alison Rose

    March 30, 2023 at 5:45 pm

    I hope Stormy is having whatever drink of choice she prefers.

  18. 18.

    Dan B

    March 30, 2023 at 5:46 pm

    @twbrandt:  LOL!

  19. 19.

    Dangerman

    March 30, 2023 at 5:46 pm

    Bundt cake. No utensils. Face first.

    ETA: Ok, face first was kinda obvious.

  20. 20.

    billcinsd

    March 30, 2023 at 5:46 pm

    @WaterGirl: Hey, it’s only like the 4th time in the last two weeks he has stomped on your post

  21. 21.

    Alison Rose

    March 30, 2023 at 5:46 pm

    Hahahahahah from the NYT:

    Accommodations may be made for Mr. Trump. While it is standard for defendants arrested on felony charges to be handcuffed, it is unclear whether an exception will be made for the former president because of his status. Most defendants have their hands cuffed behind their backs, but some white-collar defendants who are deemed to pose less of a danger have their hands secured in front of them.

    Or if the schmuck’s wrists won’t meet behind his back.

  22. 22.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 5:47 pm

    Cake!  Manhattan Grand Jury Voted to Indict Trump

  23. 23.

    Baud

    March 30, 2023 at 5:47 pm

    @Alison Rose:

    Or if his hands are too small for handcuffs.

  24. 24.

    Betty Cracker

    March 30, 2023 at 5:47 pm

    Taking my bottle of champagne that I was saving for when news of Trump’s eventual dirt nap reached me out of the fridge and popping that cork right fucking now! An indictment is good enough! And I heard it here first. Cheers, friends!  🍾🥂

  25. 25.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 5:48 pm

    @billcinsd: It’s his blog, he gets to stomp whenever and whomever he wants.  Doesn’t mean I can’t give him shit about it.

    I’m not sure he even knows he’s doing it.

  26. 26.

    Alison Rose

    March 30, 2023 at 5:48 pm

    Man, I do hope Zelenskyy is also able to have a moment of levity over this.

  27. 27.

    JoyceH

    March 30, 2023 at 5:48 pm

    @HumboldtBlue:

    Mr. Bragg’s prosecutors have zeroed in on that hush money payment and the false records created by Mr. Trump’s company.

    Oh, yay! I was so hoping that someone sometime would finally hold Trump accountable for DECADES of tax fraud! Did Weisselberg flip?

  28. 28.

    Alison Rose

    March 30, 2023 at 5:49 pm

    @WaterGirl: God, that looks yummy.

  29. 29.

    RevRick

    March 30, 2023 at 5:49 pm

    @WaterGirl: Admit it. You love John.

  30. 30.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 5:50 pm

    @RevRick: I do love Cole.  Doesn’t everyone?

  31. 31.

    mrmoshpotato

    March 30, 2023 at 5:50 pm

    Anyone follow Kathy Griffin on Twitter? Is she enjoying the news?

  32. 32.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 5:51 pm

    @Betty Cracker: I will share my pie if you’ll share your champagne.

  33. 33.

    CaseyL

    March 30, 2023 at 5:53 pm

    I don’t have any cake, or even pie, alas.

    But I do have some sour cherries, and some dark chocolate, and I can improvise.

  34. 34.

    Skepticat

    March 30, 2023 at 5:54 pm

    @twbrandt: I wonder if he will be tried as an adult.

    Great line; thanks.

  35. 35.

    Delk

    March 30, 2023 at 5:54 pm

    Will somebody please think of the pundits? /s

  36. 36.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 5:54 pm

    @CaseyL: Do you have white rum and limes?  You could have a sour cherry mojito with your chocolate!

  37. 37.

    StringOnAStick

    March 30, 2023 at 5:55 pm

    @JoyceH: No, Weisslberg hasn’t flipped as far as we know.  Cohen’s testimony was apparently enough to show that he was repaid with funds structured to come out of campaign funds.  If I was Weiselberg, I’d be thinking a  lot harder about how much of the rest of my life I want to spend in prison.

  38. 38.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 5:56 pm

    @twbrandt: @Skepticat:

    Just added as a rotating tag.

  39. 39.

    Rocks

    March 30, 2023 at 5:56 pm

    Lock him up!!!!

  40. 40.

    CaseyL

    March 30, 2023 at 5:57 pm

    @WaterGirl: That sounds delish, but I lack both the rum and the limes.

    But there is nothing wrong with a bite of chocolate washed down with a cherry.  Or vise versa.

  41. 41.

    MisterDancer

    March 30, 2023 at 5:57 pm

    There’s poetic justice that Trump got busted first for basically trying to fuck over a sex worker.

    And no, I don’t mean that ironically, or sarcastically.

  42. 42.

    JoyceH

    March 30, 2023 at 6:00 pm

    @StringOnAStick: ​
     

    If I was Weiselberg, I’d be thinking a lot harder about how much of the rest of my life I want to spend in prison.

    Rumor/speculation is that he’s flipped or is about to flip. He’s dropped the Trump attorneys and that’s a sign.

  43. 43.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:00 pm

    @MisterDancer: I believe he got indicted for the corrupt business records as he covered it up.

  44. 44.

    JPL

    March 30, 2023 at 6:01 pm

    @WaterGirl:  OMG That looks awesome so good!

  45. 45.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:01 pm

    @JoyceH: Actually, he has new Trumpy-er Trump attorneys!

  46. 46.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:02 pm

    @JPL:  I have to say that it was every bit as good as it looked.

  47. 47.

    SuzieC

    March 30, 2023 at 6:06 pm

    @Alison Rose: Will Stormy testify?  A media shitstorm(y) of epic proportions.

  48. 48.

    PBK

    March 30, 2023 at 6:06 pm

    @WaterGirl: I love galettes.  And cherries.  Fortuitously in light of recent events I baked chocolate cherry brownies just two hours ago.  Going to break out the good bourbon to go with them.

  49. 49.

    Gin & Tonic

    March 30, 2023 at 6:08 pm

    Posted downstairs too, but the Turkish Parliament voted unanimously to agree to Finland’s application for NATO membership. It’s all over but the shouting. VV Putin again shows his strategic genius.

  50. 50.

    Uncle Cosmo

    March 30, 2023 at 6:09 pm

    @Baud: ZIP TIES!!! Good enough for his goons to bring for Pence and Pelosi, good enough for an Orangehaired Shitgibbon! ​

  51. 51.

    Glidwrith

    March 30, 2023 at 6:10 pm

    @WaterGirl: I’m posting across multiple threads for this recipe. I’d like to commemorate this day with your recipe.

  52. 52.

    Princess

    March 30, 2023 at 6:10 pm

    Et tu, Ivanka?

    ungrateful child, serpent’s tooth, yadda yadda.

  53. 53.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:11 pm

    @PBK: Excellent choice!

  54. 54.

    Ken

    March 30, 2023 at 6:12 pm

    @WaterGirl: Something’s wrong with the pie filter. It’s replacing some (but not all) of your posts, and I don’t have you pied.

  55. 55.

    mrmoshpotato

    March 30, 2023 at 6:12 pm

    @CaseyL:

    But I do have some sour cherries, and some dark chocolate, and I can improvise. 

    Less carbs – kinda.

  56. 56.

    mrmoshpotato

    March 30, 2023 at 6:14 pm

    @WaterGirl: Mmmm that sounds good!

  57. 57.

    columbusqueen

    March 30, 2023 at 6:14 pm

    @JoyceH: I keep thinking of the train station shootout in The Untouchables. Get the bookkeeper, you get everything.  Could a RICO action be far behind?

  58. 58.

    Other MJS

    March 30, 2023 at 6:15 pm

    In other news, Bonnie Parker is through with bank robbery.

  59. 59.

    CaseyL

    March 30, 2023 at 6:19 pm

    @mrmoshpotato:

    Exactly.

    (A thin reed, but I am clinging to it.)

    (Having just devoured a small bowl of cherries and raspberries mixed with melted dark chocolate.)

  60. 60.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 30, 2023 at 6:22 pm

    @twbrandt:

    Good thing for my BRAND NEW iPHONE 14 PRO MAX that I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that!

  61. 61.

    John Cole

    March 30, 2023 at 6:23 pm

    @twbrandt: I am stealing this

  62. 62.

    kalakal

    March 30, 2023 at 6:27 pm

    Here’s looking forward to some ‘executive time’

  63. 63.

    BenCisco 🇺🇸🎖️🖥️♦️

    March 30, 2023 at 6:29 pm

    Time for some wine to chill.

    IT’S INDICTMENT O’CLOCK!!

  64. 64.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:35 pm

    @Glidwrith:

    CHERRIES (filling)

    Ingredients

    4 cups frozen sour cherries
    1 cup baker’s sugar
    3 Tablespoons cornstarch
    1/4 teaspoon salt
    1 teaspoon vanilla extract

    Cherry Notes:

    You can used frozen, fresh or canned sour cherries

    The cherry pie recipe calls for the amounts above, but I like mine more tart and less goopy, so I use 6 cups of cherries, 3/4 cup sugar, same cornstarch and salt as above.

    Put the frozen cherries in a large bowl.
    Stir together the sugar, cornstarch and salt.
    Sprinkle with the sugar mixture to distribute it evenly.
    Heat on the stove until cherries are thawed and the thickening juices are clear, not cloudy.

    Then I cover the cherries and put them in the refrigerator so the cherry juice firms up a bit, and I add it to the cornmeal crust (right out of the fridge)

    CORNMEAL CRUST

    Ingredients

    1 and 1/4 cups (150 grams) unbleached flour
    1/4 cup (30g) cornmeal
    1/4 cup (50g) granulated sugar
    1 stick cold unsalted butter, cut into small cubes
    1/4 teaspoon salt (I reduce the salt because I use salted butter)
    1/4 cup cold buttermilk

    To make the cornmeal crust:

    Whisk the flour, cornmeal, sugar, and salt together in a medium bowl.
    Using a pastry cutter or a couple forks, cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse, pea-sized crumbs.
    Add the buttermilk and stir until the flour is moistened.
    Add 1 more Tablespoon of buttermilk if the dough seems dry.
    Gently knead the dough a few times on a lightly floured work surface until it all comes together.
    Shape the dough into a ball and flatten it into a thick disk.
    Wrap it in plastic wrap and refrigerate it for at least 1 hour and up to 3 days (or freeze up to 3 months).

    When ready to assemble:

    Preheat oven to 425°F.
    I bake it in a deep, flat-sided pie pan, but you can also make it free-form on a baking sheet.
    Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat.
    On a lightly floured work surface, roll the dough (right from the fridge) into a 12-inch circle (or any shape, really!).
    Transfer dough to the pie pan or prepared baking sheet.
    Spoon the chilled cherry mixture into the pie pan that’s holding the cornmeal dough.
    Spoon the berries (not the juices) into the center of the dough, leaving a 2-3 inch border all around.
    Gently fold the edges of the dough over the fruit, overlapping the dough as necessary.
    Press gently to seal the edges.
    Brush the edges with egg wash (I don’t do that) and sprinkle with coarse sugar.
    Bake until the filling is bubbly and the crust is golden brown, about 25-28 minutes.
    Allow to cool on the baking sheet for 10 minutes or more before slicing and serving.

  65. 65.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:36 pm

    @Ken: Are you making a joke related to my pie photos?

  66. 66.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:37 pm

    @John Cole: It’s already a rotating tag, too.

  67. 67.

    Manyakitty

    March 30, 2023 at 6:39 pm

    @WaterGirl: i just ate a little sundae. Now I’m thinking about a sour cherry mojito. Might make it a slushy in my smoothie blender. Hmmm. What could be bad?

  68. 68.

    EarthWindFire

    March 30, 2023 at 6:45 pm

    Spouse and me…headed out to our favorite pub to toast Alvin Bragg over a pint of Guinness. Happy Indictment Day!

  69. 69.

    Elizabelle

    March 30, 2023 at 6:47 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:   The Finland to join NATO news is fantastic.  Celebrating that, too.

  70. 70.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:54 pm

    @Manyakitty: mmm, sounds good.

  71. 71.

    twbrandt

    March 30, 2023 at 6:55 pm

    @John Cole: be my guest!

  72. 72.

    WaterGirl

    March 30, 2023 at 6:55 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: Was Turkye the last holdout in the way for Finland?

  73. 73.

    El Cruzado

    March 30, 2023 at 6:55 pm

    Got not one but TWO pastels de nata with my coffee today. As a treat.

  74. 74.

    Steeplejack

    March 30, 2023 at 7:00 pm

    @John Cole:

    Everyone else is. It was on Reddit two weeks ago.

  75. 75.

    RaflW

    March 30, 2023 at 7:04 pm

    “these people are so fucking phony”

    Her husband basically looks like a Tussaud’s wax figure, so yeah, definitely phony!

    Though I think she might actually be done with public politicing. It never seemed like fun for her, and while the access to Chinese purse parents was probably helpful, she and her nepotic soul mate have plenty of questionable pathways to moar money.

  76. 76.

    NotoriousJRT

    March 30, 2023 at 8:15 pm

    @twbrandt: Winner!

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