Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

You cannot shame the shameless.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

A consequence of cucumbers

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

After roe, women are no longer free.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Republicans in disarray!

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

You are here: Home / 2024 Elections / 2024 Primaries / Late Night Open Thread: Florida Media Creator, DeFlatus

Late Night Open Thread: Florida Media Creator, DeFlatus

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Pennsylvania, famously welcoming to carpetbagger candidates!

Florida’s supine GOP legislature actually changed (‘clarified’) the law that would’ve required DeSantis to give up his current cushy position if (when) he gets around to declaring his presidential candidacy, so that’s a financial hit he won’t have to worry about…

Here’s hoping that Mrs. DeSantis enjoyed cosplaying Jackie Kennedy on that ‘overseas trade mission’, because her old man does not seem to have impressed the big GOP donors, much less any important foreign officials…

… The Florida governor, expected to launch his bid next month to challenge Trump as the Republican nominee for the 2024 presidential race, met with more than 50 representatives of major U.K. firms and business lobbying groups as a part of a four-country “trade mission” ending in London Friday…

One U.K. business figure said DeSantis “looked bored” and “stared at his feet” as he met with titans of British industry in an event co-hosted by Lloyd’s of London — the world’s largest insurance marketplace.

“He had been to five different countries in five days and he definitely looked spent, but his message wasn’t presidential,” they told POLITICO. “He was horrendous.”

A second business figure who was in the room said it was a “low-wattage” performance and that “nobody in the room was left thinking, ‘this man’s going places’.”

They said: “It felt really a bit like we were watching a state-level politician. I wouldn’t be surprised if [people in attendance] came out thinking ‘that’s not the guy’.”

“There wasn’t any stardust.”…

Reader Interactions

46Comments

  2. 2.

    kalakal

    DeStupid has always had very tightly controlled public appearances. He could get away with that in heavily. gerrymandered FL. He’s thin skinned and totally lacking in social graces.

    He’s now having to appeal to people who can tell him to get lost, over whom he has no power, and is about as successful at it as a chocolate teapot.

    He can’t not run for president without looking like a useless nitwit, he’s already made too much noise about doing so, but running for president makes him look like a useless nitwit.

    As for the general public he’s an authoritarian creep but even worse, for his prospects, he’s personally utterly without charm.

    An anti Cary Grant.

  3. 3.

    Phylllis

    I’m fascinated by how many of these Repub men come across as simulacra of human beings.

  4. 4.

    kalakal

    @Phylllis: It’s because they are. Humans take joy in the company of other humans, they want others to do well, they like to be liked.

    DeStupid and his ilk only see others as threats or prey. Can someone be used or do I have to grovel to them? That’s it, an utterly joyless existence

  6. 6.

    Phylllis

    @eclare: I’ve always wondered if maybe she was just tired and overwhelmed by the crush of people. Having said that, I hate seeing kids being made to participate in performative affection bullshit.

  8. 8.

    columbusqueen

    @Phylllis: Equally true of the women. I’ve never forgotten the end of the ’08 VP debate. While the Palins were swanning around the stage chatting, they left their youngest daughter alone clutching Trig, who was too big for her. The only adult who went to check on the children? JOE. Certainly not their mother!

  9. 9.

    Princess

    I know someone who interacted with Trump at close quarters long before his presidential run, in a professional setting. He described Trump as unfailingly professional and charming. This is what De Santis  doesn’t have and never has had. I don’t think Trump is capable of this anymore either — the entitlement has bitten too deep — but once upon a time he could do it when he needed to, and it’s probably one part of how he ended up as president.

  10. 10.

    eclare

    @Princess:

    As transactional as TFG is, gotta believe he knows the value of returning the phone calls of megadonors!  Unbelievable DeSantis doesn’t.

  11. 11.

    Ivan X

    I haven’t watched Psaki’s show because I pretty much have never been able to bear TV news. Is it any good? It can’t be as good as the Press Secretary show she was on a couple years ago.

  12. 12.

    Chetan Murthy

    @Ivan X: Same here.  I kinda suspect that without the adversaries in the room, it couldn’t really be as compelling.  Secy. Jean-Pierre, by contrast, when I watch her, it’s …. yanno, *combat*.  Thrust, slash, parry.  Fun!  Not to take away from Secy. Psaki, but still, part of what made her was the *job*.

  13. 13.

    lgerard

    @Princess:

    I knew a handful of service type people who had dealings with trump back in the 80’s.  They all said the same thing, he was always very friendly and polite and went out of his way to acknowledge them.

  14. 14.

    Ruckus

    @kalakal:

    The anti Cary Grant? 

    deathsanta doesn’t even have enough whatever to be that good. He is the kid they never showed on Our Gang, the one that was totally weird and no one liked in any way, shape or form. And he seems to have gotten a lot worse as he’s gotten older.

  15. 15.

    NotMax

    President Ted Cruz

    Never, never, never again want to see that phrase. Once is too much.

  16. 16.

    Ruckus

    @Phylllis:

    @eclare:

    Ted’s daughter seems to know him all too well. As in get the hell away from me level knowledge.

    I mean would you want to be anywhere near him? He has all the charm of an unlanced boil, all the presence of a pile of garbage after sitting in the sun for 3 months. And that’s the nicest things I can think to say about him…..

  17. 17.

    Ruckus

    @eclare:

    deathsanta is so wound up in his own bullshit (which is all he has – bullshit) that he can’t see anything else. It’s like he walks around with a mirror in front of him so he doesn’t have to look at anyone else. But it’s a fun house mirror. Now normally that would make him look worse but it’s deathsanta so he actually the only human that looks in any way normal in a fun house mirror.

  18. 18.

    Aussie Sheila

    @Ruckus:

    All that and a seditionist as well. I have a small hope that the Special Counsel might sweep him up in the jan6 grand jury. I would love that. A lot.

  19. 19.

    Betty Cracker

    I never say never because Repubs have demonstrated there’s simply no one too repulsive to lead their party, and since it’s one of only two viable parties, whichever grotesque hairball the GOP eventually horks up will have a shot at becoming president.

    That said, it’s incredibly satisfying to watch the peevish dullard DeSantis flame out. I hope this rollout debacle is painfully humiliating for every single person involved.

  20. 20.

    Anne Laurie

    @Betty Cracker: Never intend to step into your territory, Ms. Cracker… but that DeSquamous dude is such a rich target, figured you wouldn’t mind a little help with the shovelling!

  21. 21.

    Betty Cracker

    @Anne Laurie: The more the merrier! Was just reading about Biden’s appearance at the WHCD, and he got in on the DeSantis trash talk too!

    “I had a lot of Ron DeSantis jokes ready — but Mickey Mouse beat the hell out of me and got there first …

    After his re-election as governor, he was asked if he had a mandate. He said, ‘Hell no, I’m straight.”

  22. 22.

    Joey Maloney

    @Ruckus: Ted’s daughter seems to know him all too well. As in get the hell away from me level knowledge.

    She’s got to be a teenager by now, right? I wonder how she feels about her parents these days.

  23. 23.

    Baud

    @Betty Cracker:

    After his re-election as governor, he was asked if he had a mandate. He said, ‘Hell no, I’m straight.”

     

    Hahaha.

    I just read about the pitchbot shout out in that prior thread. So awesome. I feel like a proud parent.

  24. 24.

    Tony Jay

    @NotMax:

      President Ted Cruz

    Back in the day an issue of The Authority had a twist where the secret code phrase needed to depower the unstoppable cyborg super-redneck (Mark Millar wrote it, natch) that the US Government had unleashed on the overly-idealistic superteam was something that would never, ever be said by anyone, ever.

    The phrase was “Welcome to the Oval Office, President Gore”.

  25. 25.

    Ken

    in a tired performance described variously as ‘horrendous,’ ‘low-wattage’ and ‘like the end of an overseas trip.’

    Let’s hear it for the Rainbow Tour, it’s been an incredible success…

    Though I’m afraid this re-written scene doesn’t top the original:

    DESANTIS: Did you hear that? They called me a bore! They actually called me a bore!

    OFFICIAL: You are a bore.

  26. 26.

    Ken

    DeSantis’ sway over the FL GOP is part of the sugar high that has some Republicans in thrall of.

    As I understand it — and perhaps Betty Cracker will correct me if I am wrong — the FL GOP legislature is made up of Chamber of Commerce rejects, former cops, used car dealers, and their failsons.

    If we somehow have offended the gods so badly that they inflict a President DeSantis on us, I think he won’t find the Senate and House GOP so malleable.  (A recurring annoyance for me is when people speak of Trump’s legislative accomplishments. Run down the list — those were McConnell’s legislative goals, he just used Trump to rubber-stamp them.)

  27. 27.

    kalakal

    If he were an actor he would be type cast to always play the William Atherton ” Walter Peck” part in Ghostbusters. The pompous, humourless, spiteful jerk, using his position to hurt others.

    I think this sums him up well

    DeSantis -yearbookjoke

  28. 28.

    evodevo

    @Princess: ​
      I remember Bill Maher saying something similar early in Trumpy’s reign of error – that at parties where Trump was, way back when, he was a considerate host and talked like a normal person. He said the difference was shocking…

  29. 29.

    Cameron

    I don’t think he wants to be the President as much as he wants to be the Terminator.  Unfortunately, the Terminator as played by Peewee Herman instead of Arnold.

  31. 31.

    WaterGirl

    @eclare: Even that baby is his lap looks uncomfortable.  I can’t decide whether the look means “who is this guy?” because he’s never held his own baby before OR whether it’s “this guy?  I hate this guy.”

  33. 33.

    WaterGirl

    @Ivan X: Picture the star of that press secretary show, only made up and looking more like a newsperson than the regular Jen Psaki, speaking with the tone and cadence of Rachel Maddow.

    I LOVED the Jen Psaki original, I am still thrown by this new person who looks a lot like her.

  34. 34.

    BellyCat

    “…he was asked if he had a mandate. He said, ‘Hell no, I’m straight.”

    Took me a second…. Biden owes me a new cell phone. LOL

  35. 35.

    RAM

    The more I watch DeSantis, the more it appears to me he’s somewhere on the autism spectrum, which would account for behavior so many find so off-putting. The refusal to look people in the eye and his apparent inability to create or even show any interest in interpersonal relationships are not unusual for people on the spectrum, but they would seem to be serious challenges for someone who wants to excel at national and international politics.

  36. 36.

    Ella in New Mexico

    @Betty Cracker:

     never say never because Repubs have demonstrated there’s simply no one too repulsive to lead their party, and since it’s one of only two viable parties, whichever grotesque hairball the GOP eventually horks up will have a shot at becoming president.

    THIS.

    This is why no one should rest on their haunches mocking this turd enough to convince themselves he couldn’t possibly win in enough of the the 6 states we all know our bullshit Constitution unintentially turned into the places  that decide who is the President for those of us living in the other 4

    Tons of R’s I know who voted for Trump are no longer happy with the guy. But they vote Republican, period, whoever’s on the ballot under R and if it’s DeSantis he will have their vote.

    That’s why–even though we are in the majority of the popular vote– we will have to fight our asses off–YET AGAIN–next year.

  37. 37.

    Miss Bianca

    @evodevo: I’m not sure Bill Maher is the most trustworthy source on what passes for “normal” and “considerate” these days. Considering how far *he’s* fallen into “cranky old crackpot” territory.

    Still, point taken.

    @RAM: Who says DeSantis wants to “excel” in national or international politics? The only thing he seems to want to excel in is making people he hates suffer.

    Still, point taken. :)

  38. 38.

    Ivan X

    @WaterGirl: ah, thank you for the vivid description. I was afraid it would be something like that, especially when I hadn’t heard boo about it since it launched. Producers without imagination have a way of normalizing interesting stories and people when they run them through their producer car wash.

  40. 40.

    JaneE

    Maybe DeSantis is waiting for indictments to see if they affect Trump support.  As if.

    What the hell is wrong with MAGAt’s?  Besides everything.

  41. 41.

    Roberto el oso

    @kalakal: I have not heard the ‘chocolate teapot’ metaphor in years! Thank you for a pleasant and unexpected nostalgic frisson :)

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