This has not been a slow news day:
US Representative George Santos, who faced outrage and mockery over a litany of fabrications about his heritage, education and professional pedigree, has been charged with federal criminal offenses, two people familiar with the matter told The Associated Press.

I hear that Barely Speaker McCarthy has walked back his pledge to get Santos’ resignation if he were charged. The goal posts have moved to being found guilty. Gotta keep that yawning mandate fed, as it were.
The indictments are under seal, so we don’t know yet exactly what sins the Feds believe they can nail down beyond a reasonable doubt. But no doubt Santos, who, though not a lawyer, trained with Clarence Darrow, can handle his defense with a brio and skill no one has previously encountered.
This thread is as open as a Best Buy on Black Friday.
Image: Pietro Longhi, The Mountebank, 1757
dmsilev
It’s not like McCarthy has much of a choice in the matter. His caucus will knife him in the back, or in the front even, given half an excuse. A better person would accept that and do something worthwhile, but a better person would never be a GOP Rep, and especially not one who aspires to (nominal) leadership.
Baud
Does anyone know why it would be sealed?
Tom Levenson
@Baud: No walruses available?
steppy
So the charges are still under seal. I am sure the charges are very interesting and that Squeaker McCarthy will provide the absolute minimum support like words. The thugs will be happy to throw him overboard.
BellyCat
The truth must be far worse for than the (known) lies.
different-church-lady
Wait, lying about everything in every circumstance is illegal now?
Scout211
@Baud: Other people involved in the crimes, not yet charged, from other countries *cough* Russia *cough* ? Maybe . . .
Remember this?
Maxim
Various forms of election fundraising fraud, would be my guess, but we’ll see.
ETA @Scout211: And maybe money laundering, also too.
Cameron
@Tom Levenson: Probably not eggmen, either.
dibert dogbert
Santos clerked for judge Clarance.!!!!!!!!
Maxim
@Cameron: But surely we can locate some semolina pilchard.
David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch
@Scout211: I’m surprised grifters never name their scheme “Ponzi Capital” as it’s easier to get away with crime when it occurs in plain sight.
eclare
“Today was a good day” – O’Shea Jackson Sr. AKA Ice Cube
Ken
Damn. I saw “Long Island man” and thought “Does that mean a real-estate developer from Queens?” Well, still time for that.
Redshift
@Baud:
It could be just until he appears in court to be charged and plead. That’s not uncommon, I think.
eclare
@Scout211:
I’m going to need a board with all of the pushpins with strings, like Carrie had in Homeland, to keep track of all of these connections. But as Nancy said, they all lead back to Moscow.
different-church-lady
I shall now attempt to eat one candy fruit slice, rather than all sixteen in the package.
[FIVE SECONDS ELAPSE]
Shit.
SFAW
That’s today. If/when he’s found guilty, it will become “found guilty by real Americans, i.e., only people who voted for TFG two or more times.”
eclare
@different-church-lady:
Hahaha…I have a bag of white chocolate truffles for that experiment.
Lyrebird
@Ken:
My mind went for that same hopeful interpretation
ETA: Not sure wheter anyone else would see things this way, but the bribery charges against the already known to be odious Judge Thomas are such a slap in the face to all the mid-level gummint employees who carefully declare or just turn down gifts left and right. Some of the DARPA people I have done work for? Nothing over $25, no gift watches, no $50 bottles of wine, forget that two months’ pay stuff we were seeing in GT’s hands, … I am not saying, oh poor them. I am just disgusted.
different-church-lady
@SFAW: “…only if he switches parties.”
SiubhanDuinne
:: snort ::
SiubhanDuinne
@different-church-lady:
Yeah, I did that with dark chocolate ginger biscuits not very many minutes ago.
ETA: Red wine may or may not have been involved in that decision-making.
Ken
@SFAW: Followed by “Money-laundering and FEC reporting fraud are just process crimes, get back to me when a real crime is involved.”
(Which will undoubtedly be followed, because Qevin is Qursed, by an aide rushing into the conference and whispering into his ear, after which the only audible part of Qevin’s reaction is “under his patio….”)
dmsilev
@different-church-lady: Don’t worry; if he’s convicted, the Fox News chyron writers will change his party affiliation.
SiubhanDuinne
@Tom Levenson:
Narwhals or go home.
eclare
@SiubhanDuinne:
Ooh, dark chocolate ginger biscuits? Brand please!
Redshift
@different-church-lady:
I exercised extreme willpower and did not buy the bag of tortilla chips I was really craving at Costco tonight, because I would have eaten the entire Costco-sized bag over the next three or four days, max.
SiubhanDuinne
@eclare:
Borders. Imported from England. I get them in the International section at Publix. They’re pricey and worth every penny.
schrodingers_cat
Rescue kitteh is sleeping soundly in a chair in the bedroom!
eclare
@SiubhanDuinne:
Thanks! I’ll look on-line.
How many come in a package? Amazon doesn’t say.
eclare
@schrodingers_cat:
Progress!
TriassicSands
Squeaker McCarthy, a man of intellect and the highest moral and ethical standards, must support Santos because he is innocent until proven guilty. Which is precisely why Squeaker McCarthy will continue to support and vote for Donald Trump.
Wait, what?
In defense of McCarthy (laughter), since he has already sold his soul to get enough votes to be named Squeaker, um, Speaker, he really can’t afford to do anything that would diminish his massive vote total. Besides, McCarthy undoubtedly admires Santos, who is, after all, just like McCarthy himself. With absolutely no qualifications both men managed to be elected to positions for which they are completely unqualified. Both are hanging by a thread. Just two peas in a pod.
Yutsano
@schrodingers_cat: Yay!
different-church-lady
@Ken: “…if it’s murder in the first degree…”
different-church-lady
@SiubhanDuinne:
Wait, you get to make a decision?
Danielx
Cannot get more open than that.
cain
@dmsilev: good ! Lull them into a false sense of security. Because they think they still have the same number of republicans in the House.
karen marie
@David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch: Well, there was Fraud Guarantee, owned and operated by Individual-1 supporter and friend of Giuliani, Lev Parnas.
Jackie
All the news today! I ran out of popcorn 🍿 and when I went to the store to replenish, the shelves were empty!
SiubhanDuinne
@eclare:
Yes, that’s why they’re pricey. Only nine cookies to a package. But they are rich, so it’s (usually) (sometimes) (okay, not so much when accompanied by red wine) pretty easy to limit intake.
I did order once from Amazon. Big mistake They shipped from the U.K. so took a long time. When they did arrive, neither Amazon nor the shipper notified me. They were left in the mailbox for 24 hours in a hot Atlanta summer. Tasted okay, but an awful mess what with all that melted chocolate. So if you have an outdoor mailbox, just be sure you monitor delivery and get them inside quickly!
SiubhanDuinne
@different-church-lady:
Yeah, it’s a deal I strike with myself whenever I brandish a corkscrew.
Jackie
@Baud: When TFG was indicted, the charges were sealed until he was actually under arrest at the courthouse.
So I’m guessing it’s a Republican thing😉🤔
cain
@TriassicSands:
The man deserves where he is at. The fact that his life is 24/7 hemorrhoidal pain makes me happy.
eclare
@SiubhanDuinne:
Oh, thanks for the advice regarding Amazon. I’ll check some stores here, but I doubt any will have them.
sab
@eclare: I opened the basement window today and my kitty sniffed actual outdoor air for the first time since his rescue. At first he was horrified (outside?!) Now he is sleeping on the window ledge.
NotMax
@SiubhanDuinne
Let’s go Brandish!
:)
jonas
Other NY GOP pols were desperate to be done with this guy months ago. Having him hang out for the remainder of the year during — checks notes — the indictment, the booking, the posting of bond, the setting of court dates, the trial, the penalty phase. Oh, man. It’s going to be a long, hot summer down in Queens.
For Republicans.
eclare
@sab:
Sweet! Which kitty is this?
Benw
@eclare:
The good day: https://murkavenue.tumblr.com/post/16553509655/i-found-ice-cubes-good-day
Fake Irishman
@different-church-lady
I have just conducted the same pantomime, but with two blueberry hand pies….
jonas
Then it’s going to be “Well, found guilty of something *really* serious”. I mean “fraud?” What does that even mean? Sounds like something woke, pointy-headed lawyers made up to silence conservatives about how money freely solicited from God-fearing citizens can be spent, or something.
NotMax
@jonas
Only a tiny slice of Queens. The district mostly covers about half of Nassau county.
eclare
@Benw:
Thanks! So cool that someone figured it out.
sab
@eclare: Dobby, formerly our Demon Dobby.
mrmoshpotato
You heard the man! Time to trample each other like greedy assholes!
Benw
@schrodingers_cat: Awesome. Will be sleeping soundly on your head in a matter of days!
mrmoshpotato
@different-church-lady: Bury me in cherry slices!
mrmoshpotato
Steve Hofstetter bitchslapping George Fraudos
Dan B
@Baud: There’s well informed speculation that at least two more GOP pols are named in addition to the Russian. The Feds want to get them charged and don’t want them to know. Plus there may be other Russians that could get spooked.
NotMax
@mrmoshpotato
Oooh. Kinky.
;)
CaseyL
@Dan B: Oooh. Please please please let one of them be Stefanik!
sab
@sab: He usually is asleep on my pillow by now. Instead he is asleep on the basement window edge.
Five years ago we took him to the vet (he wasn’t ours then) because he was so skinny. She said he wouldn’t make it. Take him home and feed him deli food. He was full grown and weighed two pounds. Now he is a normal cat, although a bit klutzy. Ten plus pounds.
eclare
@sab:
Wow! What a story!
Dan B
@CaseyL: Her name has been repeatedly brought up – top two slot.
sab
@sab: He still loves deli turkey slices.
Eolirin
If Santos was out, would McCarthy have had the votes to pass the joke of a debt ceiling bill they moved? I feel like the margin was a single vote.
I can’t remember how our special election laws work in NY, but Hochul might appoint a replacement if he’s forced out, at least for a little while. That could completely blow up McCarthy’s ability to do literally anything.
Jackie
Quote of the year from the WaPo:
“In private, Trump has dismissed Carroll as “Ms. Bergdorf,” referring to the Bergdorf Goodman department store where she said Trump attacked her. Trump also said he would not have assaulted her because she was too old — and that if he had, it would not have been in a department store dressing room but at one of his own properties.”
Bupalos
Was this “time in the barrel” idiom anything more than a cultural memory before that nasty little dude with the Nixon Trampstamp resurrected it?
eclare
@Jackie:
Holy shit! His attorneys must hate him, I can’t believe he still has any.
ETA> OK that wasn’t in the deposition, but still.
Jackie
@Eolirin: I think it’s through a special election – which will be almost guaranteed to be won by a Democrat. Which McStupid is fully aware.
Bupalos
@Eolirin: I vaguely think it was one of those things where they figure out how many votes they need and then “release” the rest. So I think it was by 1, but if you subtract 1, it would still be by 1.
Jackie
@eclare: I’m amazed they’re not all bald from tearing their hair out.
prostratedragon
Awakened by a seal.
mrmoshpotato
@prostratedragon: Slap that seal with an octopus!
eclare
@prostratedragon:
That was cute!
mrmoshpotato
@eclare: LOL!
Frankensteinbeck
@Jackie:
Trump is a level of misogynist where he just can’t believe anyone cares if a woman consents. He knows he’s being accused of something, but denying it reads to him as denying how virile he is, not denying he committed a crime. He wants to make sure you know that he would and could do it. His ego demands it.
EDIT – It’s exactly like the ‘perfect’ transcript. He couldn’t grasp that extorting a foreign government to help himself politically was bad, either. He was showing off what an awesome and strong deal maker he is. It’s right there on the page, look!
Yutsano
FYWP. Tried to do a thing and it fucked everything up.
eclare
@Frankensteinbeck:
Good observation. IIRC Ivana claimed in a divorce deposition that he raped her. In the 2016 campaign she said that wasn’t what she meant.
AlaskaReader
Now do Rep. Anna Paulina Luna (R-Fla.), Rep. Andrew Ogles (R-Tenn.),
…and then you could likely work through every single Republican in or out of office.
Yutsano
@Dan B: Incidentally, did you get my e-mail good sir?
@prostratedragon: even better: that’s a sea lion*!
*How you can tell: sea lions have little flaps on their ears. Seals 🦭 don’t.
Amir Khalid
How does Kevin McCarthy put up with everyone in Congress pointing and laughing at that big yellow streak running down his back?
eclare
@Amir Khalid:
Also, how does he walk upright as an invertebrate?
JoyceH
Over on Twitter I saw (and then couldn’t find again later) a tweet from someone who claimed to know what Santos was going to be charged for. Said he didn’t know the exact statutes, but listed the activities that were involved. I can’t remember the whole list, campaign finance and whatnot, but what struck me, and I do hope that it’s true, was that in addition to the campaign finance, they’re also charging the seedy little pet fundraising scam. What’s nice about that is the impact it will have on a jury. Campaign finance violations, whatever the dollar amount, come across as abstract and antiseptic. But remember the fundraising scam and the impact of that – Santos stole money that people donated to get a veteran’s dog a lifesaving operation – AND THE DOG DIED. Man, they’ll throw him UNDER the jail!
Jackie
@Frankensteinbeck: Exactly. The entire article is revealing.
Btw, there’s a callout to boycott tomorrow night’s CNN’s town hall with TFG. Let’s do our part and make the ratings tank for CNN during that hour. TFG televised air time needs to have minimal viewership every time it’s announced he’ll be interviewed.
JWR
@Jackie:
Methinks he’s seeing her today, not as she looked when he attacked her. You know, when she was his “type”.
eclare
@Jackie:
There is no way in hell I am watching the town hall. I don’t even watch CNN anymore. Still check the website occasionally, but that’s it.
prostratedragon
@Yutsano: Aha. Never knew they were different.
Fair Economist
@different-church-lady:
You just can’t buy things like that. It’s hopeless.
Dan B
@Yutsano: No email. I’ve emailed watergirl. I’ll keep looking.
Doug
@SiubhanDuinne: Here comes a narwhal!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4QSYx4wVQg
lowtechcyclist
@Ken:
And I was hoping they’d finally gotten around to charging the guy who choked Jordan Neely to death on the subway.
ETtheLibrarian
Lest we forget, he did file papers to run for reelection.