A quick Maxwell update:
His royal fucking highness has decided that he wants salad.
Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.
But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.
If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.
Joe Lieberman disappointingly reemerged to remind us that he’s still alive.
American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated
After roe, women are no longer free.
Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.
That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.
… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact
Battle won, war still ongoing.
A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.
A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.
I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.
Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.
Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.
Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.
JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?
Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.
How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?
Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll
I was promised a recession.
He really is that stupid.
There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.
Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?
War for Ukraine Day 452: (Some of) You Have Questions, I (May) Have Answers
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
Be quick about it, servant.
Ohio Mom
Maxwell is joining you on your new eating routine? How sweet!
(I hate the word ”diet,” it has too many bad associations)
Shana
A regal beast
lowtechcyclist
Better give him salad, then. Wouldn’t want him to bring out the silver hammer!
ETA: I see you managed to use ‘fucking’ safely tonight. Safe ‘fucking’ is important.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
Snap to it, human-slave!
C Stars
Hmm. His eyes seem to be saying that he wants blood.
Ruckus
@C Stars:
I believe they are saying that there will be blood if he isn’t fed NOW.
cain
Is Maxwell’s surname Smart ? 😂
zhena gogolia
Lovely cat.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Ruckus:
It must feed
eldorado
i love how the ‘fool’ is implied
Steeplejack
How is Steve handling the situation? I assume that Thurston, as the village idiot (your words, not mine) is fine with everything.
mrmoshpotato
Totally slaps!
Mai Naem mobile
Just be happy he’s not asking for a golden coach like the other royal highness in England.
Gemina13
Then give that gorgeous, imperial creature some salad, and don’t be stingy.
West of the Rockies
I was walking the sheepadoodle around noon today when a female wild turkey charged out of the brush and sent the cowardly doodle fleeing into the street. I landed hard on my hip and keister and rolled 360°. We now have two wild turkeys in the neighborhood (northern California) protecting their… whatever tiny turkeys are called. Been going from heat to ice all afternoon. I’m getting too old for this shit.
Josie
I suspect that you are having salad, and he just wants whatever you have. It’s a cat thing.
There is hope
I see a beautiful wooden floor, and two carbon- based life forms on it. One of the life forms overestimates itself.
Suzanne
One of my cats really liked green beans. It was weird.
BlueGuitarist
@cain:
Edison, as in lowtechcyclist’s reference to silver hammer
Ken_L
If you offer me pheasant I’d rather have grouse
If you put me in a house I would much prefer a flat
If you put me in a flat then I’d rather have a house
If you set me on a mouse then I only want a rat
If you set me on a rat then I’d rather chase a mouse
mrmoshpotato
How about those Celtics? Ouch!
Raoul Paste
That is a hilarious picture
Baud
A Ceaser’s Salad
NotMax
@Baud
Caesar the day.
:)
Baud
OT, via reddit. Bittersweet.
https://v.redd.it/z0sm7ehtfa1b1
pat
So how do cats know that SOMETHING’S COMING UP!!
Mommy’s getting ready to GO somewhere and she will be GONE tomorrow…. So I’m going to lie in the closet where I never spend much time and maybe she will feel sorry for me and stay home and give me tummy rubs and grooming….
Sad Pablo!
Steeplejack
@pat:
My cat would get in the suitcase during packing in the hope of being taken along or, failing that, preventing the trip from happening.
Scuffletuffle
@Suzanne: i had one that loved corn on the cob slathered in butter, but then, who doesn’t…
Maxim
@Suzanne: One of my cats — Chaucer, a butterfly tabby with beautiful markings — was always intensely curious about whatever I was eating and wanted to share, which was how I discovered that he loved french fries. So now and then, he got a tiny bite of one as a treat.
@Steeplejack: A friend of mine had a tuxedo cat she’d adopted as a feral kitten. She was the only human he tolerated (until me), and he was a perfect gentleman about the litter box. But one time, when she’d just gotten back from a trip, he peed in her suitcase.
Chacal Charles Calthrop
@Steeplejack: one of them succeeded in getting taken along:
https://www.9news.com.au/world/cat-in-suitcase-update-owners-reveal-how-pet-ended-up-in-jfk-airport-new-york-usa/647c5a96-e92f-4d33-aaf6-77b05850d57b
John Revolta
Better than nuthin’
Sister Golden Bear
Well get to it, hooman. I am not amused by your dillydallying.
BigJimSlade
@Ohio Mom: Regarding the word “diet” – sure, even Garfield didn’t like it decades ago, saying it’s DIE with a t.
Emma
At least it’s only salad, my brown tabby loves my dried shiitake mushrooms, and apparently found that the pantry door wasn’t properly closed last night. Found a nice pool of mushroom bits on a bed of hairball in the morning. Why does it have to be the most expensive ingredient in my pantry he’s obsessed with?
ETtheLibrarian
@There is hope: and the other one has a tail?
different-church-lady
He doesn’t want salad. He wants whatever you’re eating, even if it’s salad.
FastEdD
I put an air tag on De Dawg too. Though if anybody tried to steal him they would be soon missing a couple fingers and maybe an arm.
Poe Larity
But will he pick the left fork in the road?
Gemina13
@Suzanne: My cat Penny loves raw asparagus, which I found out is perfectly healthy for her to eat in small quantities. So now, when I cook it, I save the ends and give them to her. She’ll yell until I place them on her plate, and then she scarfs them down. Weird little cat.
Timill
@BigJimSlade: The Problem With Health Food
smike
First off, who leaves a fork in the road? But in answer to your question; if the fork has food on it, he picks it. If the fork has no food on it, he sniffs and walks away, offended at the indignity suffered.
Let me know if you need to know anything else:)
Jim Appleton
OK, Baud is explicitly AI, but is NotMax ALSO just a humor-mongering bot?
rikyrah
Hi Maxwell🤗
Chris T.
@smike: When you come to a fork in the road, take it. But when you come to a spoon in the road, leave it; that one’s for Bob.
Amir Khalid
Have any of you guys ever shown up in court to testify in a criminal trial, only to find out that the judge was away on vacay and the trial’s hearing dates hadn’t even been decided? That happened to me a few hours ago.
mrmoshpotato
Just be happy that NotMax isn’t a fishmonger – we might all get slapped.
Amir Khalid
@Chris T.:
And what if you find a spork in the road?
piratedan
@Amir Khalid: you could just write down Not Guilty and sign it as Juror No. 8 and see if anyone gets the reference :-)
JaneE
I had one that loved celery, thinly sliced please, and one that went crazy for the silks from corn ears.
Chris T.
@Amir Khalid: Presumably, destroy it, as sporks are evil?
David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch
I’d like a plain omelette, no potatoes on the plate, a cup of coffee and a side order of wheat toast.
eclare
What are the collars with the little containers on them? Or what looks like a container. My pets just have the usual tags.
opiejeanne
@JaneE: When I was a kid we had a cat that you could not trust around canteloupe.
eclare
@eclare:
Oh, so that’s an airtag. Heard of them, never seen or used one.
terben
@Gemina13: Does it make her pee smell?
NotMax
@Jim Appleton
Have been called worse….
:)
sab
@Amir Khalid: When I was a baby lawyer that happened to me. A*** judge just decided to overstay his vacation and left all of us hanging and surprised, plaintiff with plaintiff lawyers, defendant with defendant lawyers, and all the witnesses, mostly small business owners with better things to do with their time.
Why I like elected judges. Took us a couple of election cycles, but we got that judge out eventually. Not a political issue. A professionalism issue. If you don’t intend to show up, please let people know beforehand.
ETA Ours was a civil trial. Tort.
sab
@opiejeanne: All cats are weird. Just doing their own stuff.
My husbands cat just peed on pillows on my bed. I am beyond outraged. Told the cat she will never enter my room again. Toxic feline twat. She laughed.
Of course she is asleep in my room, because she is toxic everywhere else. None of my stepkids want her, so I guess she and I are stuck. Vile cat, you are still our vile cat.
She is actually quite beautiful. Very grey. Very feline. Smooth as silk. Except her personality is really unpleasant. Hisses ar everyone. Feliway addict?
Geminid
Some concrete results of the Inflation Reduction Act:
Cummins, a division of Cummins Engines, announced the new electrolyzer plant after President Biden signed the IRA last August.
Fridley is a town of 29,000 people in the greater Minneapolis Metropolitan Area. President Biden visited the Cummins plant April 3rd as part of an “Invest in America” tour. That event drew Governor Walz, Senators Klobucher and Smith, and local Representatives Craig and Omar.
From Sahan Journal, a St. Paul nonprofit news site “dedicated to covering immigrants and communities of color.”
JPL
@Baud: Imagine what a nightmare it would be if she said trump.
sab
5: 30am . Not quite daylight, but the robins are chirping very loudly.
I had no idea those obnoxiously loud birds were tweerping robins. Otherwise known as schreeching thrushes.
ETA John Cole lets his cats roam. They will eat all the birds I have issues with plus other birdsI used to love robins until I learned that they were the morning screamers.
NotMax
@sab
Which raises the question of why they don’t make robin/sparrow/bluejay/etc. flavored cat food?
“I can’t believe it’s not pigeon.”
//
eversor
Our Penny is a feral rescue (kitten to young to properly walk when we got her, also the runt of the litter) with food issues. It does not matter what the food is, or how many humans are on the table, she will get up on it and inspect the serving dishes, everyones dish, and paw your water. There is no around this. Attempts to put the cat on floor will put the idiot who did it with swipes and bites (this do not cause pain or break the skin it’s just dominance) to the ankles followed by the damn cat back on the damn table.
However if there is sashimi, liver, sausage, beef, chicken, egg yolk, or even meat in a soup, she’s taking it. There is no around this either. Our table seats six. We are only two, but we frequently have guests taking it up to four maybe the full six, and our new comers are shocked that we always seat a cat dish on the damn table. Because it’s just easier to order an extra slice or two of sashimi and when she looks at the platter pull it off and cut it and put a piece there till she comes looking again than it is to deal with what she will do if you do not feed the kitty.
So, kitty eats on the table with the humans now. We’ve tried to put a stop to it but it’s not happening. And since she’s one of those “cats that think they are people” and sleeps in the bed, sits on the couch next to people, likes to be carried around like a baby, and is in constant physical contact and talking it’s a battle worth losing. Though it has created an odd thing where we whip up a “Penny’s portion” of meat that isn’t seasoned that we can let here steal and eat on her plate and she seems happy with that. She gets wagyu beef and foie gras off and on, she’s pretty spoiled.
eclare
@eversor:
Wow Penny hit the jackpot when you found her! It sounds like she has a lovely life. And you have a constant dining companion.
NotMax
@eversor
Two words: water pistol.
eversor
@NotMax:
This was tried. As were bribes and other methods harsher than a water pistol (not cruel though, picking up and loading into the cat carrier) it did nothing. She’s also a Zoom/Teams menance and the cat face/ass will show up and she will sit on the keyboard which as an IT pro in constant meetings is not good.
The iphone chargers shall also be chewed, the good computer (massive liquid cooled Windows Desktop) is a cat heater, the macbook pro is a cat nap pad, the server racks are cat fans.
I have good headphones, IEMs that cost well over a grand and they will be stolen and ran off with. The shitty headphones my SO uses (bluetooth airpods pro, talk about total shitty products) will be knocked onto the floor, then stolen and hidden.
Making Penny seem worse than she is. 99% of the time she’s a doll who just wants to sit near you and make winks at you. But that other 1% of the time, or if you are eating and she is not, watch out! And while I will not forgive my headphone stealing (200 buck cable replacement) watching her straight gank someones uni sashimi off their plate and run off was priceless. Get on with your bad self you crazy little cat.
Denali
@eversor,
My goodness, you are very tolerant.
mrmoshpotato
@sab:
LOL!
pat
@eversor:
Just wondering if she has actual cat toys to bat around and keep her busy….
pat
Here it’s the cardinals that are up at 5:00 AM clacking outside my window.
Sis
He’s so gorgeous!
Andrew Abshier
Does he own a silver hammer, by chance?
brantl
@Amir Khalid: i was once supposed to testify against a slopehead who threw a softball sized rock at my face, and no one notified me of the trial date, nor subpoenaed me. I called them and found the trial date was the following Monday, and I had called on a Friday; I was the sole witness for the prosecution, as well.
brantl
@eversor: at mealtimes , put her in a cage.
Michael Cain
@Suzanne:
One of my cats really liked green beans. It was weird.
We had a beagle who would go absolutely nuts over low-salt canned green beans.
Mel
@Maxim: I had a beautiful rescue kitty that I adopted when I was in high school. He was a scrawny, super fluffy teenager when I adopted him, and he just kept growing…and growing…and growing, until he topped out at a whopping 20 pounds, all of it lean muscle. My vet identified pretty early on that Asher must have been part Maine Coon, and boy did he grow into his giant feet and big, tufty ears!
He was the sweetest cat to everyone except for one college boyfriend, to whom he gave constant, utter disdain (with good reason, as boyfriend later turned out to be a cad). Asher had always had perfect litter box manners, and perfect house manners, and was a cuddlebug with everyone else.
Boyfriend had given me a leather skirt for my birthday shortly before we broke up, and it had just been sitting in the gift box in my utility closet. I finally decided to wear it out dancing with friends on New Year’s Eve. Got ready, went out to a club, and started our festivities. We all noticed a faint smell everywhere we went in the club, like they might have had a toilet backup sometime in the not too distant past: faintly bitter and old urine-y.
Several tequilas in, we put our coats on and went out onto the open deck to watch the fireworks on the nearby riverfront. We couldn’t smell the smell outside, and were talking about leaving and going to a friend’s party for the ball drop, when the most beautiful man that 21 year old me had ever seen walked up and very sweetly asked me to dance. My friends all said, “Go!GO! Dance with him”, so we slow danced in the snow on the deck, and then the DJ started playing Prince, and we ran inside to dance. I tossed my coat on a table, and we boogied for five songs straight through, then chatted for a while. It turned out that he was a grad student majoring in Renaissance history. I was majoring in English Lit, with a focus on medieval lit. Lots in common, great conversation.
At one point, he said, “That’s odd- there’s a really strange smell in here now. “ I told him that we had smelled it earlier, but it smelled rawer and much, MUCH stronger now. I was trying to be clever and funny to impress him, and I made a face and said something like, “You’d think for the cover price, they could afford to have actual plumbing instead of an indoor outhouse,” and we laughed, and I thought, this guy is truly nice, and has great manners, and WOW, the icing on the cake is that he’s lovely, too! Things were definitely looking up for the New Year!
We danced for five or six more fast songs, sweating up a storm in the hot, crowded bar, and then the DJ played a slow song and cute, charming guy said, “Slow dance again, my lady?” We stepped in close, and all of a sudden he sniffed, then sniffed again, stifled a cough, and said, “I don’t mean to be rude, but honestly – I think the smell is coming from you…” He was visibly trying to keep it together and not to recoil from the high school latrine stench wafting off of me.
Oh, my god. And yes, it most certainly WAS coming from me – from my leather skirt to be exact, and it was beyond noxious!
Apparently, Asher had peed on the gift box to show his disdain of the bad boyfriend, and some of the cat urine had trickled through onto the back of the skirt. No visible stain, just a stench that wafted out like an endless belch from the bowels of hell when the pissy leather got hot and damp from sweaty dancing in a jam-packed bar.
I still cringe, three decades later, when I think about that moment. The smell was so bad that I made some excuse and scurried away in shame, and we cranked all the windows down in the car in a snowstorm on the way home. My friend who was driving pulled over in the first parking lot that had a visible dumpster, and handed me a roll of Christmas wrapping paper from her car trunk. I took off the stink-skirt, she pitched it in the bin, and I wrapped my lower half in Star Wars wrapping paper for the drive home.
dearmaizie
No he doesn’t. He just wants you to make it so that he can laugh and walk away. With a butt to your salad.
JBWoodford
Black cats are excellent at glowering.
dearmaizie
@brantl: Just curious if you are aware that the term you used in your comment is a racial slur? I’ve never known BJ to condone the use of racial slurs.