In my opinion, airboats are the most unlovable and obnoxious of vessels. They are fun to ride in and so much more fun to drive — probably the closest you can get to driving a pod-racer from the shitty Star Wars movies. But, like leaf blowers, they degrade the quality of life for people nearby who are not immediately benefiting from their operation. BTW, here’s a short video I took while driving my dad’s airboat last year:
Florida woman drives airboat, doesn’t pitch passengers into swamp. pic.twitter.com/jWYUaeIbNJ
— Betty Cracker 🐊 (@bettycrackerfl) May 1, 2022
Woohoo! Such fun!
Anyhoo, airboats are common in the swamp where I live and especially numerous on holidays. It’s illegal to operate them late at night, and while it’s rare, we do see them at night sometimes since the law really isn’t a thing this far in the woods. But generally they’re headed somewhere fast and the noise is temporary.
Around midnight last night, an airboat slowly and loudly passed our house. The speed was unusual, and then it doubled back, which was even more unusual. My husband, who can sleep through anything, slept through it. So did the dogs, which doesn’t say much for their utility as watchdogs.
I got up to investigate and saw that one of the airboat passengers was operating a spotlight to search the shoreline. I figured they were gator poachers. They traveled upriver for a bit, turned around and made another pass. I turned the riverside floodlights on and off to politely signal to the poachers that they were disturbing my sleep, but they kept traveling upriver a bit, turning around and passing by repeatedly.
It was clear they were looking for something, and maybe not gators, though I could hear them talking about past gator hunts because they had to shout at each other over the din of their goddamn motor. Could be they were searching for an overboard comrade.
It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened around here. There’s a disreputable tavern upriver that caters to the airboat set, and it’s not unusual to see drunken antics on a Friday night. So maybe someone or something fell off their boat, and they were trying to recover it.
But I worried that they might be looking for other types of valuables, such as our outboard, so I kept watch in the dark from the porch. Eventually the airboat went away. The only sounds left were the wind in the trees, frogs singing, insects trilling and owls hooting.
Then I heard something crashing through the leaves near the shoreline. I turned on the floodlights again and saw two large armadillos, walking along the waterline and companionably snuffling on the ground. It’s unusual to see a pair of armadillos because they’re solitary creatures. Figuring it must be mating season, I turned off the light as any decent person who believes in love would do.
Moments later, a friend I had texted early in the evening must have accidentally pressed call instead of reply because my phone rang once — sounding impossibly loud in the early-hour silence. He realized his mistake and hung up before I could answer, but the noise scared the shit out of me and probably doused any armadillo amor that was happening downstairs.
I noticed it was 2 AM, so I figured I better hit the sack. I tiptoed into the pitch-black bedroom, felt my way to the bed and flopped down on dog, who yelped in alarm, causing the other dog to growl and bark hysterically. The mister snored through it all. At that moment, all the accumulated pratfalls struck me as insanely funny, and I couldn’t stop laughing. It’s a good thing the mister sleeps like a rock.
At daybreak, I looked around to see if there was a body floating in the river or a cooler full of meth and/or Busch washed up onshore. Nope! But I did see this gorgeous Wood Stork peacefully foraging with the Limpkin sibs.
The end.
Baud
Cocaine
BearArmadillos!pat
OK, first I laughed out loud at Pike the dog running through the obstacle course, now I had to laugh at you lying on the dog in bed. What a night.
All I had was a black cat pestering me at 5 AM.
zhena gogolia
Wow, a Carl Hiassen novel come to life.
Alison Rose
This is the future conservatives want.
OzarkHillbilly
Fun in the country!
Steeplejack
That limpkin chick in the foreground with its head in the water has a definite Thurston vibe.
West of the Rockies
I read and enjoyed the first few Jimmy Buffett books. (I found A Salty Piece of Land to be shallow, tedious and silly.) I liked the Florida he described in those early books (and songs). But, boy, it seems the dreary wingnut crowd has really mucked things up down there. I hope you can oust them from power.
hells littlest angel
They do look like fun, the kind of fun that should be legal on closed courses on private land, and nowhere else.
Maxim
I was sure this was going to be a post about GOP lizard people.
Jackie
The reflection of the skies on the water! Thanks for the video, BettyCracker 😊
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@zhena gogolia: I would be happy to suspend disbelief if Hiassen chose to let Skink age like Smiley or Rebus. Let him fight for his swamp like some nonagenarian Rambo
Almost Retired
Up until now, I had no interest in visiting Florida again. We have theme parks and beaches aplenty here in California, but without the humidity or bugs or a socially-awkward fascist Governor.
But a disreputable tavern catering to the air boat set? I want to check that out.
kindness
I understand I’m being silly but can’t they put mufflers on air boat engines?
Betty Cracker
@Almost Retired: Trust me, that place is not worth checking out, but this place is!
Sure Lurkalot
I don’t like bugs, heat, humidity or critters that can chew your leg off, but I must say that Betty’s environs are stunning. I do love water birds!
Alison Rose
@Almost Retired: Ah, but according to his detractors, Newsom is TEH BIGGEST FASCIST EVER!!!! Because…I don’t know, the gas tax?
Almost Retired
@Betty Cracker: ….booking my flight….
TriassicSands
Given where you live that is understandable, but I’d go with jet-skis, which are far more numerous and widespread.
geg6
@Steeplejack:
LOL! Speaking of which, I would love a Thurston proof of life post. I worry about that boy.
schrodingers_cat
New kitty has settled in nicely. New art supplies await their first use. Weather is perfect. Its a good start to the weekend
ETA: Has anyone on here drawn with dip pens and India ink?
kalakal
Not sure I’ve ever thought of Wood Storks as gorgeous. They’re glorious in the air but on the ground… heads that only a mother could love with giant murderous
bayonetsbeaks. I love to see them but up close they’re not the best looking birds. Having said that my favourites are probably Anhingas and they’re wonderfully goofy looking.Total agreement about airboats, they are loud!
kalakal
@TriassicSands:
Yep, they’re obnoxious too
oatler
The new Florida State Guard will have “reptile-cleansing authority” per HB 1285.
cope
@Betty Cracker: I remember going there (and Ross Allen’s Reptile Farm) in about 1960 when we lived near Jacksonville for a year. I didn’t return to Florida until 1989 where I got my first teaching job near Orlando. There was a bar near the school owned by twin sisters who had both been mermaids at Weeki Watchee. Fun place but the last two times I went there were to memorialize dead friends and it has been closed for several years.
MagdaInBlack
When I was a kid, growing up along the Fox River (near Sheridan, Illinois) one of our neighbors built an air-boat. Holy cow it was noisy..and oh so fun ! and oh so damned annoying to my father trying to nap on a peaceful Sunday afternoon 😊
Alison Rose
It’s funny because when my grandparents moved to Florida when I was around 16 (I know, big shock, retired New York Jews moved to Florida) and we started going out there to visit every couple of years, I gained a very inaccurate understanding of the state as a whole. They lived in Delray Beach, and it kind of just felt like SoCal but muggier and with a higher average age. I don’t know if I ever even saw a gator.
HinTN
@kalakal: Ah yes, jet skis.
Our local claim to recreational fame is a lake with a prodigious length of shoreline (because TVA dammed the river where huge numbers of creeks drain what’s called the Highland Rim). The coves can be really nice to anchor and explore but I won’t go near it in the summer because of the racket.
Betsy
I hate airboats, yard blowers, loud motorcycles, jet skis, and basically all forms of noisy motorized recreation.
My quiet little city has been taken over completely by motorized noise, from redneck boom cars at 3 am, towaste contractor trucks emptying dumpsters with repeated banging at 5:30 or 6:00 am, to 2-cycle blue-smoke emitting yard equipment that has become nearly incessant at literally any hour or day (including dewy Sunday mornings).
If you complain, the redneck philistine puritans who domjnate the local culture say that it’s the sound of freedom or the smell of money or that you should be glad you don’t have real problems, because this is a microcosm of the sadistic American-hating, suffering-worshiping hell that this country has become.
I’d consider moving to a locale that bans yard blowers if only there were such a place.
John S.
Fucking limpkins!
Betty, I don’t know how you do it with those things. We lived on a canal for 18 years, and I think my wife was at her breaking point with the limpkins.
Their horribly cacophonous screeching is just the worst.
Scout211
When we visited my sister and BIL in Orlando a few years ago, they took us to an air boat tour place somewhere outside of the city. It was really fun and we saw lots of wildlife. But man, you could lose your hearing on those boats. The tour company required everyone to wear noise cancelling headphones but it still was loud. I can’t imagine the noise right next to your house at o’dark hundred, BC!
We live near a reservoir and on holiday weekends (like right now), the boaters, water skiers and jet skiers are all over the lake. When the breezes are in our direction or are very still, it is really, really noisy. Did you know ski boats have stereo systems? Yes, designed (apparently) to entertain absolutely everyone for miles in every direction. Ugh.
Oh, and get off my lawn! 🤣
Jim, Foolish Literalist
from what I’ve seen the noise looks horrific but an airboat ride is, if not on my bucket list, but my list of things I’ll do if I ever find myself near the everglades and have some spare time and it’s not too far away or too early in the morning
Inventor
@kindness: It’s the fan blades that make most of the noise, like a helicopter. Serrations at the blade tips may reduce the noise.
kalakal
@Scout211:
Below the library there is a park with a marina at the bottom, it is lovely to go down, look across the intercoastal waterway. There are dolphins, mantas, manatees, ospreys, herons, pelicans, anhingas, pretty sailboats etc. etc. The loudest thing are the Laughing Gulls.
And there are fucking jetskis and obnoxious gits in powerboats who really, really think everyone wants to hear their music. If ever I see an Exocet missile for sale on EvilBay I’m buying it
jackmac
@zhena gogolia: And the Carl Hiassen novel comparison would be complete if someone ended up dead in a creative way!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@kalakal: oy, “personal speakers” are on my lawn. Cyclists, skiers, runners. A friend of my brother’s brings them fishing, which violates the rules of fishing as I learned them fifty some odd years ago, but maybe that was just the people who taught me liked the quiet.
raven
@Scout211: I’ve been on a couple of off-shore charters where they did that! Check out the speaker on this rig.
It had 4 350 Mercs and went 70 mph out to the rigs.
Steeplejack
I am in the early stages of a do-nothing holiday weekend here in Threadkill Lane. I have my regular takeout food run with my friend from Trader Joe’s this afternoon, and that’s it. The Sighthound Hall mob went to the beach, so no backyard cookout or anything on the schedule.
The amazing stretch of perfect weather has continued here in NoVA. I turned off my HVAC system weeks ago to coast on the shoulder season between heat and A.C., and I think this is the longest stretch it’s ever been off—since early or mid-April, I think. It’s sunny and 72° now, going up only a few more degrees later, and we’re not supposed to hit the high 80s, much less 90°, until late next week. Sheer luxury!
That has contributed to the extreme peace and quiet, because none of the buildings’ outside A.C. units are clanking away. And, reading the comments above, I realize that I am also fortunate because the groundskeeping and lawn care on my street are handled by a contracting company that comes in once every week or two and does all of the mowing, blowing and noise-making in a concentrated few hours—and at a decent time of day. (Threadkill Lane is a cul-de-sac with six-unit apartment buildings, but they’re all part of the same condominium.)
All very boring, but pleasantly so.
trollhattan
Story needs more banjo. :-)
As much as I like the outdoors, I don’t care for being near extras from “Deliverance” or “Justified” and so, I leave you to the experience with my blessings. Have kind of abandoned the mountain cabin goal for the same reason.
Have friends who live on the river side of the Sacramento River levee, grand house with pool and dock and tennis court and mancave outbuilding. It’s also a Dare to Gawd every winter because of the “river side” aspect. They keep the bugout bags packed.
It’s lovely and peaceful and then summer happens, turning the pretty riverfront into an aquatic “Road Warrior” set–a cacophony of jetskis and drag boats and ski boats from dawn to dusk (and beyond). It was bad and then the ski boats all sprouted sound systems to entertain the folks being dragged thirty feet behind, as well as drown out the drag boats and their 600 HP engines.
It’s really nice.
trollhattan
Detergent and long-handled brushes?
SiubhanDuinne
@Steeplejack:
“Sighthound Hall” and “Threadkill Lane” always make me smile.
Just thought I’d mention :-)
Rebel’s Dad
@Inventor: But if the owner can’t make enough noise to raise the dead, how will everyone know
how small his manhood iswhat a badass he is?Kent
No airboats around here in the Pacific Northwest. I don’t think I have ever seen one. The same demographic that would buy airboats in Florida buys deep-v aluminum fishing boats https://duckworthboats.com/models/offshore-26/ for the choppy big waters of the Columbia or offshore on the Pacific.
What we have instead are jet skis which are more obnoxious I think because they tend to travel in obnoxious packs.
The hard core fishermen who frequent shallow streams sometimes use jet boats rather than outboards: https://www.thunderjet.com/boats/inboard-jet.html
mdblanche
So you’re saying an airboat can be selfish?
Geo Wilcox
You get air boats in your canal and I get huge tractors trying to go down my driveway mistaking it for the access way to farm fields. I have to go out and tell them they need to back down my drive and go to the one next to it. The same guys work those fields every year and every year they go down my driveway. I am thinking of putting a sign up during planting and harvesting seasons with a arrow pointing to the correct driveway.
Steeplejack
I finished binge-watching Season 2 of Astrid on PBS Passport a few days ago. Really good, even better than the first season, because of some character development and the expansion of some supporting characters’ roles. Then I had an “I want to speak to the manager!” Karen moment because I discovered that, contrary to my belief, Season 3 is not yet available. So I’ve been left hanging, especially as Season 2 ends with a mild cliffhanger. Damn it.
I might tackle Succession next, since I don’t think I’ll be able to continue dodging spoilers in the context of the big finale. I haven’t been to my HBO Max page lately to see if it’s a smoking crater after the Max! rebrand (or whatever it is now). I’ve read a couple of places that there were problems.
Otherwise might start The Fall on PBS Passport. Gillian Anderson as a British (I think) cop going after a serial killer. Got a good review from a friend.
MagdaInBlack
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: My father would call that a sin and toss them in the lake
( them = both speakers and speaker owner)
Steeplejack
@SiubhanDuinne:
👍
ETA: I’ll be taking over the estate manager role at Sighthound Hall this summer, as the mob heads to Europe for an extended trip. Might see if I can produce an unauthorized “Garden Chat” entry. 🤔
kalakal
@MagdaInBlack: Your father was right
TriassicSands
Agreed, but standing next to a Marabou Stork, they aren’t quite so bad. The stork species I’m most familiar with all look like they have some form of terminal skin disease on their heads.
Of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so mama Marabous probably think their offspring are just stunning.
Anhingas are great.
The bird species of the world represent some of the most incredibly beautiful, as well as the most unpleasant looking critters imaginable.
In videos I’ve seen of scavenging in Africa, the Marabou Storks always seem to be more frightening and unpleasant looking than the vultures. OTOH, they have an important job to do.
trollhattan
@Geo Wilcox: Retractable bollards, like some badass Bond villain lair. “You tractors won’t be the boss of me!*” True fact, they installed them around the CA state capitol after some asshole committed fiery suicide driving his semi cab into the east portico.
*Unless driven by Ukrainian farmers.
Geminid
@Betsy: I think that California is in the process of banning gas-powered leaf blowers in favor of electric ones, or at least some jurisdictions are. I know the battery-powered blowers are becoming very popular with homeowners.
I look up electric airboats from time to time. There are plenty of small, radio-controlled model boats, but very few full sized electric ones. Maybe they are just lagging electric cars by a few years.
raven
@Steeplejack: Have you seen Happy Valley?
Another Scott
@Geminid:
Obligatory – giant model re-enactment of a WWII river battle.
(via Oryx)
Cheers,
Scott.
Snarki, child of Loki
Re: late-night airboat recon
Clearly, it was some of Puddin’Boots minions, looking for a good spot to stash TFG’s body. Make sure your alibis are rock-solid!
Sister Golden Bear
@jackmac:
Clearly Betty narrowly avoid said fate.
Rob
BettyCracker, what a night indeed. I love the photo of the Wood Stork with the Limpkin family. I know I sound like a broken record, but it would be nice if the stork and the Limpkins (though just one would be fine) would head to my neck of the woods. Especially DC proper. I’ll have treats for them.
Al
I love your posts. Wish I could spend a night in your swamp,
Steeplejack
@raven:
I think I tried the first episode a long time ago, but it didn’t hook me hard enough to overcome whatever else I was watching at the time.
Oh, yeah! I saw the first episode or two when PBS (or whoever) was “broadcasting” it, and I kept missing it (and not DVR’ing it). So it went into the mounting “to be viewed” pile. I know you and some others recommend it. I’ll dust it off if it’s on Passport.
David Hyland
Fun Sat. morning read; thanks:)
Reboot
@Betsy: All I can say is, I feel this.
mrmoshpotato
Badger and Pete are excellent watchdogs – of the insides of their eyelids.
Steeplejack
@Another Scott:
Damn, those are some pretty good production values. Almost worthy of a ’50s B-movie.
TheronWare
I didn’t think anything was more obnoxious than gas powered leaf blowers until I heard that airboat ha!
Steeplejack
For the SiriusXM peeps: Yacht Rock has arrived on Channel 14 for the whole summer. “Music as smooth as the hands of a man who loves the sea but has people to do the boat stuff.”
Geminid
@Another Scott: I really like Oryx’s twitter account. The material on the war in Ukraine is a good reason to, but I also enjoy Mr. Mitzer’s other subjects. He’ll include pictures from his native Holland, a fascinating place.
Mitzer has also been traveling this Spring, to aerospace shows and such. He’s captured some good scenes from Turkiye, Japan and Switzerland while on the road.
Mitzer takes a particular interest in Turkiye, and his account should be a good source for news on tomorrow’s runoff between Erdogan and Kilicdaroglu. Mitzer links to Turkish commentators such as Ragip Soylu (@ragipsoylu), Istanbul editor of Middle East Eye.
evodevo
Never a dull moment in the boonies…I used to go to work and tell them the weekend happenings, and they couldn’t believe it….the quiet country life indeed…
Kelly
Returned from four nights camping on the Deschutes river with two old friends. I started whitewater trips with them in 1981. Back then there was about a dozen of us 20 somethings that joined up for whitewater trips once or twice a month depending on the weather. Mostly day trips, 3 or 4 overnighters. The Deschutes, Rogue, Illinois (in Oregon a tributary of the Rogue), Idaho’s Middle Fork of the Salmon, Colorado river through Grand Canyon. We’re 67 now. One camping trip and some day trips are sufficient these days.
A commercial outfitter charging their customers $650 a day camped next to us the second night. They had a powerful music box they ran well into the night. It’s not a wilderness so BLM dispersed camping rules apply, which do not forbid that sort of behavior. Kinda mixed feeling as I liked their tunes, Mark Knopfler, John Denver, James Taylor. Their well heeled clients were about my age so a savvy move to have a playlist from our youth.
mrmoshpotato
@trollhattan: Scrub a dub romp, clean gators in the swamp?
Ruckus
@kalakal:
It’s likely that we all have assholes living near us, hell we all have one living behind us…..
The biggest thing is that there are far more of us, which makes fewer places that have much quiet at all. Here in LA county there is a remarkable shortage of mufflers on vehicles. No shortage of vehicles however, what with more humans in one county than in 40 of our states. Friday a buddy and I drove to “Fleet Week,” a show basically based upon the military and at the dock where the battleship Iowa is. It’s a fun, expensive to eat at, interesting day. 40 miles away, the drive takes about 1 1/2 hrs. On the freeway.
Barbara
@Kelly: Until around 3 years ago it always seemed to be 1982 at the base of ski slopes, based on musical choices. They have started moving forward, but seem to have skipped the 90s altogether.
kalakal
@Another Scott: I’ve been to that.
It’s Peasholm Park in Scarborough. It’s still going as an attraction, lasts about 1/2 an hour. It’s a lot of fun, they do it about 3 times a week in summer. The models are huge
Betty Cracker
@John S.: They’re louder than peacocks, but I love them. It was their swamp first.
@raven: Did you know there’s a season 3? I saw the first episode of it on Apple the other day. I loved the first two seasons, particularly the first. Looks like just about everyone came back for season 3. The boy is almost grown!
Scout211
In case you are interested in watching the Texas House trying to impeach Paxton, here is the link, about to begin at 1:00 CDT
Texas House media player
Betty Cracker
@Kelly: That sounds fun! It’s a beautiful area.
Kelly
@Barbara: I overhear other folks music once or twice a month out in the woods. Pocket sized speakers. The devices must have improved or become less expensive over the last few years. Earbuds have been the norm since Walkman days. Earbuds seem the polite way to get your tunes in the boondocks.
Back in the 80’s a cassette boombox in riverside campsites was commonplace. Back then our biggest raft cargo conundrum was where we will put all this beer?
JaySinWA
@Scout211: Speaking of scaly tails. I was just coming here to post that link.
T just spoke out for Paxton and threatened everyone who votes to impeach. The rumor was that Abbott would make a statement earlier, if he did it was no opinion, the Lt Gov left it to the Leg.
Should be an interesting show of hands.
Kelly
@Betty Cracker: It is lovely. Fun rapids which we’ve ran so many times our arthritis, diminishing strength and endurance doesn’t matter. Both my buddies had hips replaced a couple years ago.
The Deschutes is east of the Cascades. Sagebrush, grassland and pine tree country. Very open views. Quite a contrast to the lush forests where we live west of the Cascades.
Sure Lurkalot
No doubt about it, the world is a noisy place. Noise pollution (like light pollution) are real and add to the stresses of modern life.
When I was in college, I remember “loud” being a little kid riding his Hot Wheels or my neighbor screaming for her dog “Freedom” at 6 a.m. on a Sunday. Good times!
Scout211
@Kelly: We’ve camped several times at LaPine State Park on the Deschutes. That is a beautiful winding river at LaPine. Nice campground, too. One time we camped there to then drive in the wee hours to climb one of the Three Sisters (I don’t remember which one). Mr. Scout grew up in Leaburg so we had approached the Three Sisters from the west several times, but the east side was indeed, very different terrain. Both gorgeous.
Heidi Mom
Great story, Betty, thanks for writing it!
Kelly
@Scout211: The Deschutes around LaPine has several wonderful quiet water runs. Probably gonna buy Mrs Kelly and I a couple flat water kayaks in the next couple of years. Oregon must have 10 times as many miles of quiet water river and estuaries compared to whitewater miles.
JWR
I missed this last Thursday afternoon, but David Roth, (the good one), was on Background Briefing. He’s a lot less wordy here than in his writings, which are occasionally front-paged here. Good stuff, and at just under 18 minutes, far too short for my prefs.
Here’s a link to the Soundcloud page, but I like giving Masters the traffic. Plus, there are two more interviews on his site that look interesting: One on the Roberts Court, and one on the one-party state that Israel is becoming.
West of the Rockies
@Kelly:
I hope you threw back a few Mirror Ponds (Deschutes Brewery option).
OzarkHillbilly
Kelly
@West of the Rockies: I’m a Black Butte Porter guy.
kindness
@Alison Rose: My grandparents were snowbirds in Delray Beach. Had a nice mobile home there. Spent their summers on the shore in Westport CT where our clan had some land. I’m pretty sure when they died (the 1980’s) their space/lot was sold for a pittance. I remember reading a few years later some developer bought the place and paid off the current holders large. Such is life. I never went there to visit. Just looked at the pics they brought back.
Another Scott
@JWR: Thanks for the pointer. It’s a good listen.
Cheers,
Scott.
Geminid
@Geminid: The Turkish journalist I mention, Ragip Soylu, has put up a 9-part series of tweets that could be of interest to people interested in the presidential runoff. Most of them link to stories about the runoff campaign published by Middle East Eye over the 12 days since the May 14 election
Polls will open in ten hours at 8am local time, 1am Eastern Time.
raven
@Betty Cracker: I didn’t!. You say it’s on Apple TV? IMDB only shows it as being on Acorn.
eta
I see, AMC +
StringOnAStick
@TriassicSands: Worse than jet skis, and even worse than snowmobiles are the latest thing: snow bikes. Basically a dirt bike with a very torquey engine and just as loud, and because of all that torque they can get everywhere, including where snowmobiles aren’t allowed. Because of the kind of redneck they attract, these bastards are all over areas closed to motorized travel. It was really bad here this winter, and pissed off the survey team measuring the snowpack at the snow course by riding right through the center of the area they were doing their work in, thus screwing up the data from what had been one of the oldest snow course locations in the state. I wish the USFS would crack down on them but they are so few personnel for this.
Brachiator
Wonderfully vivid writing about the airboat and living in the swamp.
gene108
The way the clouds and vegetation reflect in the water is stunning.
StringOnAStick
@Kelly: I’ve been thinking of heading to the La Pine area with my whitewater SUP, but I need to get some more SUPing in so I am strong enough. The long Covid seems about gone now. I have yet to see The Tree that La Pine is named for, so I have to remedy that but not on a 3 day weekend that had every camper trailer in the state coming through Bend yesterday.
realbtl
I’ll see your jet skis, weed blowers, even air boats etc- Asshole Harley riders* running straight pipes. They are everywhere expecially up here by Glacier in the summer.
*I’ve owened a couple of H-Ds, stock mufflers. Got funny looks from the salesman for that, no fat aftermarket sale of asshole level pipes.
satby
@Steeplejack: Hope you’re still around reading Steep! I wanted to thank you for the word on the series Astrid. I’m enjoying it immensely, not just for the mystery aspects, but for how accepting and inclusional it is around neurodivergent people. It manages to educate (me at least) subtly how difficult us typical folks can be. It’s a great show.
satby
@OzarkHillbilly: Saw that yesteday. Incredible!
CaseyL
I’m amazed at how clear the water is, you can see to the bottom. Even if it’s shallow there, that’s pretty clean water!
I liked noisy things when I was much younger; considerably less so nowadays. I still enjoy loud sounds from nature (thunder, icebergs calving off a glacier, that sort of thing) but the only human-made ones I can still say nice things about are fighter jets (going by in formation, let me hasten to add: not if they’re dropping bombs and such).
trollhattan
@West of the Rockies: @Kelly:
The judges would also accept Fresh Squeezed.
satby
@CaseyL: Funny you should mention “loud sounds from nature” which I like too. And as a big city kid born and bred, I don’t even notice the ambient noise of a city: traffic, trains in the distance, sirens. But I hate unnecessarily loud things: loud cars or motorcycles, loud bass on music in cars going by, loud arguments, gunshots. All of which weren’t something I grew up hearing, so it jars now.
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
What I don’t understand is how BettyCracker can be outside in Florida, especially at night. The mosquitos are so bad. If I did that, they’d find me the next day completely drained of blood.
Ceci n est pas mon nym
Riding a Navy ship years ago, I remember a young officer telling me about the first time he was allowed to steer the ship. He told it as The Day I Launched An Admiral.
Apparently those ships are capable of far sharper turns that you ordinarily want to make without warning.
(Don’t worry, the Admiral in question was not on deck at the time. He was in the wardroom.)
Betty Cracker
@Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony: I stayed on the screened porch, mostly. Otherwise, Deep Woods Off.
We have a special visitor now:
japa21
@Betty Cracker: That is so cool. Don’t get many of those up Chicago way.
kalakal
@Betty Cracker: Nice! They’re always a treat. (It is a Roseate Spoonbill isn’t it?)
kalakal
@Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony: It’s the Palmetto Bugs that get me. I draw the line at giant flying cockroaches.
NotMax
Speaking of outdoors and sounds, did you know?
:)
trollhattan
@NotMax: Okay, that wins Saturday.
Scout211
I popped in and watched the Texas impeachment hearing a few times since it started over 2 hours ago (so you don’t have to) and it appears that the GOP is trying to get the vote delayed because they keep complaining that they want to personally interview all the witnesses who testified before the committee. It looks like a delay could happen if they can find a valid procedural way to do this. The line for the members to make their statements is very long and looks like this hearing will go on for most of the afternoon.
I’m not sure that popcorn is on the menu today but who knows.
Betty Cracker
@kalakal: It is. A juvenile, I think.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: My brother worked on one of the Great Lakes cargo ships during summers in college. He describes hosing down the deck and having the captain’s wife come up behind him and tap him on the shoulder. He jumped, spun around, and sprayed her full force. After that, whenever she saw him, she always said, “Oh there’s my friend.”
lowtechcyclist
There used to be a pizza place, Truby’s, in Whitefish, MT, that in addition to having the best pizza I’ve ever eaten, had a great regional beer selection. I tried Deschutes’ Black Butte Porter, and it was really really good, I even wrote down the name so I could hopefully find it later. Unfortunately, it’s rather hard to get back here in the east.
cope
@Betty Cracker: Have you ever tried Cactus Juice to keep the hungry bugs away? We discovered it in Bailey’s General Store on Sanibel and, for us, it’s the best, especially with the gnats/no-see-ums.
Traveller
As several people have noted…what struck me also was the quality of the writing, the ability to convey a place and time and events therein & thereat.
Very evocative, very impressive.
The only remaining question is….living as you do:
The only sounds left were the wind in the trees, frogs singing, insects trilling and owls hooting.
Is conducive to great writing…this is actually the first real thing of yours I have read…very, very good & enjoyable. Best Wishes, Traveller
Ksmiami
@Betsy: a lot of neighborhoods in la have banned them
TriassicSands
@StringOnAStick:
Fortunately, I haven’t run into any snowbikes, but if the history of motorized travel teaches us anything it is that being loud and obnoxious has always been considered a good thing by a significant subset of the human population. But it isn’t just limited to motor vehicles.
We’re pushing the Southern resident orcas toward extinction in part because of human produced noise. “Whale” watching is now entrenched and the number of boats has multiplied dramatically. The noise they cause below the surface is much worse than what we hear above it.
I was once camped in a forest service CG in the Cascades (in WA) and a group in an RV insisted on running their generator until one or two in the morning, even though there was supposed to be “quiet time” after 10PM. Others were upset by this selfishness and the first suggestion was to put sugar in the RV’s gas tank. I offered an alternative — why not just as the people to observe the rules.
So, I knocked on their door and asked the occupants to please turn off their generator at 10. The response? “We’re on vacation!” I replied, “So is everyone else here.” His reply, “Well, they’re not on OUR vacation!”
“Why,” I asked, “do you need to run a generator after 10?” Simple, every day they drove miles to town and rented DVDs to watch at night. A true wilderness vacation.
I spoke to the ranger and he told them to turn the generator off at 10. The RVers left the CG the next morning — no doubt, in search of another place to fully express their stupidity.
I’ve seen and experienced that kind of behavior most of my life. Not only do those people not want to share the planet with any other species, they don’t want to share it with anyone.
lowtechcyclist
@realbtl:
I often hear them out on the main road, when I’m on my back deck with a couple hundred yards of woods between me and that road. “Loud pipes save lives,” say their bumper stickers, but (1) sitting on my deck, they aren’t saving my life, or saving theirs from me, and I can still hear them all that distance away, and (2) if they’re going to ride a more unsafe vehicle just for kicks, then fuck it, keeping themselves safe is their own lookout. I didn’t ask them not to drive a Honda Accord.
Because of course, they would ruin one of the most beautiful places in America. Assholes.
JML
@realbtl: sigh. I get quite a few of these fools on the road in front of my house too. They apparently derive some kind of pseudo-sexual satisfaction revving their engines as loudly as possible at the stop sign. Probably the biggest location flaw I have in this house.
JWR
@StringOnAStick:
I thought I’d seen or heard of them. Fortunately, there are electric snow bikes out there, which probably cost about the same as a conversion kit for an existing dirt bike.
<Annnd, Google Google Google/> Googled a bit, and boy, that is not a poor man’s sport! Below are links first to an electric version, and then the gas, just in case any of you are bored, or are of a mind to think once again wistfully of Caribou Barbie. ;) – (No, she’s not on either site.)
THE WORLD’S FIRST ELECTRIC SNOWBIKE
How Much is a Snow Bike?
Dorothy A. Winsor
BJ is in a “get off our lawns” mood today.
lowtechcyclist
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
They’re welcome on my lawn, just not in my eardrums.
mrmoshpotato
The Mariners be throwing Pirates off of their ship! How good!
Go Mariners!
sab
We got a lawn mower with a rechargeable battery a couple of years ago. It is amazingly quiet, and no hassles with gas for the mower. No spark plugs to clean and cajole in the Spring. No issue about what to do with the gas from the last mow in the Fall.
Stepson borrowed it a couple of years ago and was sluggish about returnimg it every week. So we splurged amd bought a fancier one that is self-propelling. It also has two batteries, so one can recharge while the other is in the mower.
I never thought I would love a mower, but this one is fun ( and quiet.) Gotta be careful with the self-propel. First time I tried to use it the mower almost climbed a telephone pole.
mrmoshpotato
@Dorothy A. Winsor: Give me a lawn (and a home where the buffalo roam), then get off it!
The Pale Scot
@Scout211:
Not sure if this is still true. I remember when jets skis first appeared, apparently they were outlawed in Japan where they were made
sab
My childhood in Florida we lived on a tidal estuary/river. I had completely forgotten about the airboats roaring around all night. They were cool on Flipper, but quite annoying in real life.
zhena gogolia
I live for the roseate spoonbill pictures.
Betty Cracker
@Traveller: Very kind of you — thanks!
JWR
@Another Scott: You’re welcome! I like that he’s kept the same schedule he kept when he was at Pacifica Radio: Monday thru Thursday afternoons, and Sunday morning.
mrmoshpotato
Just noticed that that limpkin in the foreground has its head underwater. Hehe. Happy hunting.
ColoradoGuy
Thanks, Ms Cracker, for a wonderfully evocative slice of Florida life.
It dawned on me that Florida voters want entertainment, not boring old government. So maybe Florida Democrats need a movie actor or Huey Long type politician?
TerryC
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: I was the main Bridge and Captain “talker” on my ship during Vietnam.
In 1968-69 we had to travel from San Diego to Portland for an overhaul that would take six months or so. All of our dependents were allowed to come aboard and travel with us. Hundreds of wives and kids.
It was a dark and stormy day, seriously, huge waves that we were thankfully headed into rather than crosswise to. Just as dinner was served the officer with the deck command and us noticed from the bridge a pod of migrating whales headed right for the ship.
We watched anxiously as they got closer and closer, right on a collision course with our ship. Finally, the bridge officer told me to give the command for the ship to turn hard to port.
We were immediately wallowing in huge waves, and being a flat-bottomed ship the wallowing was impressive.
A few moments later the Captain arrived on the bridge, took it over, and knocked the former bridge officer violently to the deck. of course, the course change had played havoc while people were eating, including the Captain’s meal being dumped in his lap.
I was shocked and silent, of course, I really was a piece of the ship at that point. I was necessary because any bridge-to-any-other-part-of-the-ship communication had to take place through actual air filled tubes.
So I stayed on duty, of course, and did my job.
Less than an hour later another pod of whales approached in the same way.
Yep, you guessed it, at the last moment the Captain did the same damned thing.
Dorothy A. Winsor
Wow. The Texas House voted to impeach Paxton
RAM
Someone here on our small northern Illinois river acquired an airboat some years ago, and would roar up and down the river on Sunday afternoons. The sound, echoing in our usually quiet, serene river valley was literally unbelievable. Shutting our doors and window didn’t help much; we still couldn’t hear the TV or anything else when it roared past. We haven’t seen it for a few years–I’m hopefull it hit one of the many barely submerged rocks out in the main channel and ripped the bottom out.
Scout211
The Texas house voted to impeach Attorney General Paxton
ETA: DAW got there first.
Benw
Sounds like a fun evening, BC!
Follow up to those who saw my “Yeti” problems last night. Poor scratched up Hudson seems fine, but we found more sores on his fore and hind legs than we saw yesterday, so the new theory is that he mixed it up with a raccoon or other small varmit. He’s fully up to date on rabies and distemper shots, so probably ok.
I had the bright idea to jump the starter battery on my dead electric car and found the hood wouldn’t open! Dr Internet says that can happen with EVs because there’s so little service (e.g. no oil changes) that the hood isn’t opened often and jams. Which is def true for my little Leaf. The internet hive mind solution of pushing down on the hood while the inner car latch is pulled and then lifting by hand until you hit the hand latch under the hood worked great. And jumping the battery worked great! So now I think another small varmit (one of my kids) possibly left a door ajar.
And then finally today my daughter tested positive for Covid (very mild case) and needs to quarantine over the long weekend and she is pissed!
zhena gogolia
@Dorothy A. Winsor: Wow!
sab
Posted accidentally on the prior thread.
We are trying to organize a meetup in Ohio for jackals in or near Ohio this summer. Probably in Columbus. We have already had interest expressed from Columbus, Akron, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh and parts unknown jackals.
If anyone is interested please drop a comment so we can decide on the location and get this more formally organized on a BJ meetup page.
kalakal
@Dorothy A. Winsor: Wow indeed.
Too corrupt for the Texas GOP, quite an achievement
Scout211
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
Very surprising: The vote was 121-23, with two members voting “present.”
twbrandt
@Scout211: He must have really pissed a bunch of people off.
Geminid
@RAM: Maybe the airboat owner got smacked by a leaping silver carp and swore off motorboating when he got out of the hospital.
They say silver carp don’t like motor boat noise, weigh up to 80 lbs. and can leap 10 feet in the air.
PaulWartenberg
@Scout211:
there’s 86 Republicans in the Texas House, and yet Paxton only got 23 votes defending him. I doubt there were a lot of TX Dems on Paxton’s side to begin with, so that 121 votes is a massive rebuke of his corruption.
While it’s likely harder for the state senate to remove him – it will take a 2/3rds vote and that’s harder to accomplish – this does not look good for Paxton nor for his political allies like Ted Cruz and donald trump who tried to bully the TX House to reject the impeachment vote.
Jackie
@Scout211:
🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿
PAM Dirac
@PaulWartenberg: I haven’t seen a breakdown of the vote, but since there are 64 Ds in the Texas House, the minimum number of R votes to impeach is 57, which is more than double the no votes. I’ve heard that the makeup of the Senate is very different than the House, so the Senate Rs might not have that level of anti-Paxton feeling, but this means that there will be a trial and much dirty laundry will be aired and I suspect it will be much harder for the R powers that be (or wanna be) to convince people there is nothing here.
MomSense
Greetings from camp! No gators but we do have eagles.
Jackie
TFG vows to target any Republican who voted to impeach Paxton.
Something tells me TFG’s bark isn’t as scary as it once was!😁
Steeplejack
@satby:
Glad you’re liking it! Season 2 is even better. Now I’m burning for Season 3. And I believe there’s a Season 4 out in France already, or about to be out.
trollhattan
moved upstairs
sab
@Geminid: Does Florida have carp? I would think alligators would love them.
Thinking back 60 years I do miss a lot of it. The wildlife (sea cows and porpoises offshore from your backyard. Little chameleon anole lizards. Armadiklos. Amazing birds. Unbelievably gorgeous sunrises and sunsets.
But I don’t miss the poisonous snakes one bit. Nor the alligators.
I do miss the people. They were often quirky and odd and kind and interesting. Not MAGAts at all. Except there was still Jim Crow.
mrmoshpotato
@Jackie: That’s not a bark; it’s a petulant whining from a manbaby who knows he’s a massive failure.
Steeplejack
@lowtechcyclist:
Just checked: Total Wine has Black Butte Porter, at least at my go-to store (Ballston in Arlington). Might check in your area.
It’s also allegedly available from Drizly, but I’ve never used them and don’t know what their deal is.
Tsquared2001
This was a fun read!
Geminid
@sab: Florida probably has the old-fashioned European type carp. I’ve just heard of the Asian silver carp in Midwestern waters where they are a hazard to boaters
Carp are big with European sport fishermen. There is a lake in Romania that’s been called “the carp angler’s Everest.”
Kayla Rudbek
@satby: when I went to college, at night I missed the sound of traffic (cars and buses) and I was freaked out by all the people noise (all-male dormitories across the quad).
sab
@sab: I caught carp when I was a kid in Florida. They weren’t huge. They were just fish. Certainly not bigger than me. Catch 50 lb carp is huge.
Gvg
@Geminid: Florida has hybrid carp bred to eat certain noxious water weeds that choke our lakes. Your lake association decides it has one of those problems, raises money, applies to the state and gets baby’s fish. They are sterile so they don’t upset the balance. They cost money so we don’t like fishermen taking them. I think they have to put them back.
we also have fish farms and I think they raise carp for the table.
we do have plenty of fish to catch when we don’t allow too much fertilizer runoff which cause algae blooms and low oxygen. They are limiting fertilization by everyone farmers and homeowners somewhat and increasing it gradually.
satby
@Kayla Rudbek: I found living in the country a bit scary. The silence of people noise just emphasized that I had no neighbors to call in case of trouble.
In my city neighborhood when a substation went down one time, all the neighbors on the powered side of the street strung outdoor extension cords across it to the neighbors on the side without power. I grew up with that kind of neighborly action as a norm. The country people all thought I was bullshitting, because “Chicago”.
lowtechcyclist
@Steeplejack:
Thanks for the tip! I’ll see if I can find anywhere closer (I’m in Calvert County), but I’m going to a party in Falls Church in a few weeks, and Ballston wouldn’t be hugely out of the way.
lowtechcyclist
@sab:
I replaced my old gas mower with an electric just last year, and have been happy with the change. Like you say, a bunch of maintenance issues are gone, and it’s wonderfully quiet.
Steeplejack
@lowtechcyclist:
I was assuming that it might be available at other Total Wine stores. Just go there and put in your ZIP code to see what’s close (and if they’ve got it). Ballston said “limited quantity,” but it’s also in stock at the 10 other stores closest to me.
Total Wine has at least a few stores in Maryland (Towson is the only one I can think of right now), but I’m not pimping for them. They’re just the big “beverage” outlet here in NoVA. Must be some similar octopus squeezing the market in Maryland
ETA: I live in Falls Church, and the Ballston store is 2.1 miles away. Plus convenient (free) parking under the store.
Betsy
@JWR: I hate humans.
Ciotog
Speaking of the sh*tty Star Wars movies and Florida, de Santis is making the same campaign promises as Senator Palpatine in episode I:
“DeSantis’ pitch to Florida-ize the rest of the country relies on pushing the envelope on the use of executive power. He told radio host Mark Levin that he has studied the Constitution to find new ‘leverage points’ that would allow him to exercise the ‘true scope’ of the presidency. ‘Presidents have not been willing to wield Article 2 power to discipline the bureaucracy.'”