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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

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Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

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Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Second rate reporter says what?

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fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / People Are Highly Overrated

People Are Highly Overrated

by WaterGirl|  May 28, 20239:57 am| 136 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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I am away on a trip for the first time since Covid.  I left on Thursday, and it’s the first time since Covid that I have been in a room with more than two people at the same time.  Yikes!  At some point on Thursday I was already thinking about how Dorothy Winsor returned from her cruise and said she was never going anywhere ever again.

Can I just say that I feel a lot less social than I used to be?  I was ready to leave the graduation party an hour after we got there!  Though it got better after a bit.  And I do love my family!  But 6 hours with a zillion people is far too much for me.

Open thread.

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Reader Interactions

136Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    May 28, 2023 at 10:00 am

    Practice safe socializing here on BJ.

  2. 2.

    JPL

    May 28, 2023 at 10:03 am

    @Baud:  I never even got a cold from this group.

  3. 3.

    Spanky

    May 28, 2023 at 10:03 am

    Sounds like another true introvert talking. People are exhausting.

    Or, as Lucy van Pelt once said:

    I love humanity. It’s people I can’t stand.

  4. 4.

    Jim Appleton

    May 28, 2023 at 10:09 am

    Bumper sticker seen last week:  “don’t honk if you’re an introvert”

  5. 5.

    Baud

    May 28, 2023 at 10:09 am

    @Spanky:

    I’d be ok with people if they treated me better.

  6. 6.

    Miss Bianca

    May 28, 2023 at 10:11 am

    @Spanky: Wasn’t that Linus’s line? Or was his: “I love people, it’s mankind I can’t stand”?

    ETA: It was Linus. Riffing on the latter saying. Behold.

  7. 7.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 28, 2023 at 10:15 am

    Elderly shut-ins…

  8. 8.

    kalakal

    May 28, 2023 at 10:17 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: You say that like it’s a bad thing

  9. 9.

    WaterGirl

    May 28, 2023 at 10:19 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Hey!

  10. 10.

    WaterGirl

    May 28, 2023 at 10:20 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: I know from pet training that you are supposed to ignore bad behavior, so I shouldn’t say this, but we will have a guest post from Valdivia about soccer tomorrow.

  11. 11.

    Dangerman

    May 28, 2023 at 10:20 am

    I was just reading about Phil Hartman (25 years passed now); he was a serious recluse. Me, too.

    If I ever win the lotto, I don’t think I’d quit right away, but I would certainly start working on a disappearing act (and my golf and basketball games). I’ve already picked out my next fixer upper (no, not a Lighthouse, though it shares some similarities); as soon as I have the money, it’s mine.

    Although I’d always have time for Balloon-Juice to support Baud 20XX.

    ETA: For some reason, there is a Phil Hartman Memorial in Orcutt not too far from me; I should go place flowers. He was a favorite.

  12. 12.

    Baud

    May 28, 2023 at 10:21 am

    @WaterGirl:

    Yay!

  13. 13.

    WaterGirl

    May 28, 2023 at 10:24 am

    @Dangerman: I’m not a recluse, just not a big fan of large groups anymore.  Covid is still a thing, you know, with something like 1,000 people in the US dying from Covid every dah (or every week?)

    Someone will correct me if I’m wrong about the exact number, but it’s still an issue, as much as everyone wants to pretend that it’s over.

    Off to another outing.  This time to a cute little gift shop and garden place.

  14. 14.

    Spanky

    May 28, 2023 at 10:26 am

    @Miss Bianca: I’m sure it was Lucy. I read it on the internet.

  15. 15.

    zhena gogolia

    May 28, 2023 at 10:26 am

    It’s reunion/commencement weekend here, and we have been to nonstop parties. I DO NOT LIKE!!! I’m skipping the ceremony this morning — too much standing on uneven ground for hours, which my hip does not like. Hubby will be out there until 3:00 this afternoon. I’m here watching dogs swim on BJ, much better.

    If we haven’t caught Covid this weekend, I’ll be greatly surprised.

  16. 16.

    Miss Bianca

    May 28, 2023 at 10:29 am

    @Spanky: Oh, dear…you know, I have some bad news for you about the Internet…//

  17. 17.

    Dangerman

    May 28, 2023 at 10:30 am

    @WaterGirl: I saw my GP the other day and thought, damn, what’s different about him? Took me a while. No mask.

    I still mask up on occasion and take all the basic precautions (hand washing, boosted as much as allowed). I’m a little more reticent about hand washing because my facility has biometric entry and I’m losing my fingerprints (I had no idea that was a thing). Tried Aloe Vera, Cornhusker Lotion, Hyaluronic supplements; nothing has worked. I have one usable print. And even that one isn’t that good. I’m not the only one and I’m hoping they go to retina soon because that would be way damn cool.

    I shoulda been a jewel thief.

    PS: All ideas on getting good fingerprint scans gratefully accepted. Best one so far? Rub that finger on your forehead. Looks silly, but it works. Sometimes.

  18. 18.

    ALurkSupreme

    May 28, 2023 at 10:32 am

    My wife and I moved from the land of Omnes to the land of Raven about six years ago.   Between Covid and the fact that we work at home, it’s been difficult to meet new people.   Neither of us is complaining.

  19. 19.

    Layer8Problem

    May 28, 2023 at 10:34 am

    If there were more interesting people to talk to, rather than people full of endless blather about one’s important home renovations and sports, I’d be an extrovert in a flash.

  20. 20.

    PST

    May 28, 2023 at 10:41 am

    @Dangerman:

    For some reason, there is a Phil Hartman Memorial in Orcutt not too far from me; I should go place flowers. He was a favorite.

    Speaking of memorials … This is apropos absolutely nothing, but it’s an open thread and none of my IRL friends thought it was interesting at all, so what the heck, I will inflict it on the jackals. I live quite close to the site of the Haymarket Affair. I was in the mood for a nice bike ride yesterday morning, so I pedaled from the sculpture there to the Haymarket Martyrs’ Monument in Forest Home Cemetery, a little over ten miles to the west. It was a brilliantly sunny day, and I started around 8:00 with the sun low in the sky, so I found myself chasing my shadow directly in front of me almost all the way out, thanks to Chicago’s flat, geometrical street grid. Most of the world was sleeping in or gardening, so it was a great morning to bike thoroughfares (like Washington St.) that can sometimes be a little crowded.

  21. 21.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    May 28, 2023 at 10:44 am

    The draft I just sent my editor includes the line “People were horrible.”

  22. 22.

    HinTN

    May 28, 2023 at 10:44 am

    @WaterGirl: 

    @Layer8Problem:

    Just returned from two full days in NYC. Saw three plays. Walked through the throngs in Times Square six times, both day and night. Had company for lunch yesterday and talked about Greek mythology and other esoteric stuff.

    Joke: How can you tell the extroverted engineer from the introvert? The extrovert looks at the other engineer’s shoes.

  23. 23.

    Baud

    May 28, 2023 at 10:46 am

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    I didn’t know your we’re writing about the history of Balloon Juice.

  24. 24.

    Tony Jay

    May 28, 2023 at 10:46 am

    The last three years our summer holidays have been to increasingly isolated Scottish locations, culminating last year in a cottage on an island with about 120 occupants and zero requirement to see another human being if you didn’t want to. Bloody bliss it was.

    So, of course, this year we’re doing night-trains from the UK to Sicily, staying in an AirBnB house in the beach for eight days, then night-training it back via Rome, Venice, Vienna, and Paris. Because we love people.

    The wine will help make it bearable.

  25. 25.

    EarthWindFire

    May 28, 2023 at 10:47 am

    @WaterGirl: Covid is still a thing, you know, with something like 1,000 people in the US dying from Covid every day.

    As I personally became acquainted with after attending my company’s first in-person gathering in three years. During it, yeah, lots of mixed feelings about socializing. Nice to see some of the people I only knew on-screen but the big 500 people events were overwhelming. After the covid bout, probably doing the virtual option next time.

  26. 26.

    mrmoshpotato

    May 28, 2023 at 10:48 am

    You went the nice route when this post could’ve been titled “People! Suck!” :)

  27. 27.

    Eolirin

    May 28, 2023 at 10:49 am

    @WaterGirl: That’s every week, I’m pretty sure. 1k a day was what we were hitting during the worst peaks.

  28. 28.

    Dangerman

    May 28, 2023 at 10:50 am

    @PST: I was in the mood for a nice bike ride yesterday morning …

    After winning the lottery, high on the list after golf and basketball is a custom bike; already picked it out. Same brand Mark Eaton rode (not awake enough to look it up). Mark Eaton. Ran into him once at UCLA. One of two people I’ve ever met that made me feel tiny.

    Anyway, I’ve been researching Rails to Trails around the World. There are some cool ones in US and Canada. Also, kayak trails. There was a damn cool one of those in Poland I found.  Haven’t found the right kayak for me yet though. 6’7″ has it’s disadvantages.

  29. 29.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    May 28, 2023 at 10:50 am

    @Baud: I call ’em as I see ’em. And I see ’em.

  30. 30.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 28, 2023 at 10:50 am

    @WaterGirl: I know.  I might be driving back to Madison when it gets posted.  I might not be able to troll her.

  31. 31.

    japa21

    May 28, 2023 at 10:52 am

    @WaterGirl: Actually well below that number. Actually between 100-200 per day.  Not that that is okay, still more than need to.

  32. 32.

    Phylllis

    May 28, 2023 at 10:52 am

    @Dangerman: I think what I’m most looking forward to with retirement (19 days to go) is the limited amount of contact I will have with…people.

  33. 33.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    May 28, 2023 at 10:53 am

    As I keep telling my wife, I would not be that sorry to go back into lockdown. There are a couple of things I’d miss. I’ve gotten into a daily cafe habit at a neighborhood joint. I’d miss sitting there and reading my morning Balloon Juice over a cup of coffee. but like many of you I’m an introvert and I don’t actually chat with the other regulars when I’m there.

    We still avoid in-person shopping as much as possible. Places that offer in-car pickup, we take advantage as much as possible. I just bought a replacement set of sneakers by mail, same place I ordered from all through lockdown. Just restocked the wine (not a huge stock, I’m the only one who drinks it and it takes me months to go through a bottle) from the same mail-order outfit I used during lockdown.

    We’ve been to a couple live theater events, and a couple of funerals. But we’re very cautious, masked up (often the only masks in the room) and my wife is not shy about getting up and moving every time somebody sits down within 6 feet of her.

    Facing some overseas plane travel in September. That has me slightly anxious, as I put my wife on the aisle for the whole trip and I will therefore be in the middle seat next to a stranger for 7 hours at a time.

  34. 34.

    kalakal

    May 28, 2023 at 10:54 am

    I worked in a public setting throughout.

    As an introvert I really resent I wasn’t given the opportunity to stay at home for 3 years.

    On the other hand pre about 2012 I worked from home for 15 years

  35. 35.

    Ohio Mom

    May 28, 2023 at 10:55 am

    @PST: Sounds like a lovely morning. I can think of a few moments I’ve experienced where the sun, sky and earth aligned in unusual ways and everything was different and breathtaking.

    On another note, I am glad to read I’m not the only one who is finding socializing exhausting these days. It feels like a lot of work for very little reward.

  36. 36.

    Juju

    May 28, 2023 at 10:55 am

    I’ve reached a point where I can’t stand restaurants that have live music or really loud music. I don’t mind background music, but if it makes my ears hurt I leave. I hate having to scream over the music to have a conversation. Bleh. Life is too short to put up with that sort of thing. Also, you kids get off my lawn.

    If your vaccinations are up to date with the most recent bivalent, you shouldn’t worry. You may get something like a head cold but that’s it. My mother and I are the only ones in the family who haven’t gotten covid. My mother’s physician told me that I’ve probably had it but it was so mild I didn’t know. I’ve never tested positive for it when I’ve had a head cold, and my mother didn’t even catch the head cold from me.  My brother, who is a physician told me with some disgust that the people he sees who are hospitalized from covid are people who tend not to be vaccinated at all or only one vaccination.  We live in a state where there are a lot of unvaccinated people. Last I checked it was over a third of the population, but I haven’t checked in a while. At this point, what happens to the unvaccinated is on the unvaccinated.

  37. 37.

    kalakal

    May 28, 2023 at 10:56 am

    @Phylllis: I have a couple of years to go and couldn’t agree with you more

  38. 38.

    Maxim

    May 28, 2023 at 10:56 am

    I am still mostly a recluse. Yesterday, I woke up with a desperate desire for human contact. In the Before Time I might have gone to a restaurant, just to be around people, talk to a waiter, etc. As it was, I ended up texting one of my cousins and having a chat. It helped.

  39. 39.

    Joey Maloney

    May 28, 2023 at 10:58 am

    @Dangerman:

    All ideas on getting good fingerprint scans gratefully accepted. Best one so far? Rub that finger on your forehead. Looks silly, but it works. Sometimes.

    Try behind your ear, or the side of your nose, or any place your skin tends to be oily.

  40. 40.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    May 28, 2023 at 10:59 am

    @HinTN: Walked through the throngs in Times Square six times, both day and night.

    Bleah. Hate the Times Square crowds. Locals will tell you all the really pushy people are tourists.

    We’ve been to New York a couple of times since lockdown and did actually see a Broadway show. But I had a seat that allowed me to distance a little bit, and I kept my mask on.

    Restaurants we’ve kind of thrown up our hands on. You have to unmask to eat. So we try to have some distance and also choose a seat with plexiglass barriers if that’s an option. But sometimes (shrug emoji).

  41. 41.

    evodevo

    May 28, 2023 at 11:00 am

    @Dangerman: ​
      yeah, same here…I was in for a cataract eval last week, and NO ONE except me and one other patient was wearing a mask…not even the staff. Really jarring now..

  42. 42.

    Dangerman

    May 28, 2023 at 11:01 am

    @Phylllis: Long, long time ago, my first boss called me an iconoclast. I don’t think he meant it as a compliment. I had no clue as I had to go to a dictionary (before Internet there were these big books, you see). Anyway, I think he had me nailed (and I kinda took it as a compliment).

  43. 43.

    geg6

    May 28, 2023 at 11:01 am

    It was gradually headed that way before COVID but those two or so years have accelerated the process of me not really wanting to be around people other than my family and a few select friends.  I’m naturally an introvert and this feels more comfortable now that I am old enough to not care what anyone thinks any more.

  44. 44.

    Sure Lurkalot

    May 28, 2023 at 11:08 am

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym: Why not 2 aisle seats next to each other? My spouse and I do this whenever available.

  45. 45.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    May 28, 2023 at 11:09 am

    @Sure Lurkalot: I did that for one leg, but basically I’m a softy who likes to hold hands.

  46. 46.

    oatler

    May 28, 2023 at 11:12 am

    @Spanky:

    The version I heard is “I don’t hate people; I just like them more when they’re not around.”

  47. 47.

    frosty

    May 28, 2023 at 11:14 am

    @Phylllis: One of the things I don’t like about retirement is not seeing my friends daily*. Of course, COVID had the same effect – some of them haven’t stopped WFH. I have to work at it to arrange lunches and Happy Hours.  Only one guy (maybe) will text or email to say “Let’s get together.”

    * … and I’m basically an introvert. Turns out there’s a limit to how much time I want to spend sitting in the house correcting people on the internet.

  48. 48.

    Layer8Problem

    May 28, 2023 at 11:15 am

    We’ve managed restaurants, and so far I guess we’ve been lucky Covidwise, but we need more quiet places.  Cafe society for me is an Irish pub, but I go in too early for a crowd; thank god for an engaging, literate staff and a permanent ban on televisions there.  The rest of the time is sitting at home, reading, watching stuff, dorking around on the Internet or tinkering on the laptop, online puzzles, walks.  I manage ok, my partner’s adapted.

  49. 49.

    munira

    May 28, 2023 at 11:15 am

    I know exactly how you feel.

  50. 50.

    CaseyL

    May 28, 2023 at 11:15 am

    I’ve been bingeing a couple of particular YouTubers who are energizer bunnies of worthy causes and projects.  They’re brothers (they YT in tandem) and they are an absolute hoot.  They have big, specific accomplishments to show for their tireless enthusiasm.

    But they’re not Pollayannas: they are well aware of, and speak eloquently of, the attraction of despair, the “futility and necessity of hope.”  Very very smart guys, very aware guys.

    They employ and/or have as volunteers a lot of people, mostly young and young-ish people, who share their aspirations, intelligence, and determination.

    They acknowledge all the awful stuff but it doesn’t stop them from trying to do good as widely and deeply as they can, and – just as importantly – from finding joy in it all.  I consider them an absolute antidote to angsty doom scrolling.

  51. 51.

    Fair Economist

    May 28, 2023 at 11:16 am

    @Dangerman: Hand washing doesn’t matter much for COVID. It’s overwhelmingly caught through the air. It does matter for colds and especially food borne diseases.

  52. 52.

    Kay

    May 28, 2023 at 11:23 am

    @frosty:

    * … and I’m basically an introvert. Turns out there’s a limit to how much time I want to spend sitting in the house correcting people on the internet.

    I think that’s smart. I have two (female) friends who have retired and both of them seem less engaged and more fearful and it seems to be getting worse – so much so that I spend less time with one of them because I just cannot listen to the litany of bad things that might happen to her and how much worse the world is than when she was younger. She was not like this ten years ago.
    I think you have to fight getting…narrower and closed off.

  53. 53.

    Fair Economist

    May 28, 2023 at 11:23 am

    I wear a good Aura N95 mask and I don’t worry too much about shopping, socializing, or even shows. Health care workers could usually avoid COVID with decent PE. The only thing I restrict is restaurants. I almost never eat out unless it’s  outdoors or almost empty.

  54. 54.

    Sure Lurkalot

    May 28, 2023 at 11:25 am

    @Phylllis: Congratulations on your very impending retirement!

  55. 55.

    Miss Bianca

    May 28, 2023 at 11:26 am

    @Kay: Occasionally I try to look on the bright side of “I’m never going to be able to retire.” I suppose “continued engagement with the world whether you like it or not” could be considered one of the advantages.//

  56. 56.

    Don K

    May 28, 2023 at 11:27 am

    When I was a kid, I never enjoyed the games the other kids liked – they all seemed too much like work to me. My favorite recreation once I learned to read was to sit and read something. Ever since, I’ve not been a fan of large-group activities. Give me a small circle of friends for socializing and activities and I’m happy as the proverbial clam. The largest group activity I’ve been involved with in the last ten years was when I married my husband; we had around 40 guests, and most of them were friends and family of my husband. Well, strike that. I attended the wedding of one of my husband’s nieces two years ago, which was a more normal size, and I hated it.

  57. 57.

    Miss Bianca

    May 28, 2023 at 11:29 am

    Also, since it’s an open thread: apropos of a discussion we were having a few days back about “great TV series endings”, here’s an article discussing just that.

  58. 58.

    Big Picture Pathologist

    May 28, 2023 at 11:30 am

    @CaseyL: Who are they?  They sound worth checking out…

  59. 59.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    May 28, 2023 at 11:34 am

    @Miss Bianca: Flip side of that: series which ended but the producers thought there would be a second season. So there’s a cliffhanger which leaves things very much unresolved.

    We haven’t watched a lot of series TV for years, but there was one we watched during lockdown, “You, Me and the Apocalypse” which we thoroughly enjoyed until literally the last shot, which threw us a deeply unsatisfying twist.

  60. 60.

    Sure Lurkalot

    May 28, 2023 at 11:35 am

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym: Voluntarily taking the middle seat on a long haul to hold your partner’s hand….now that’s true love!

  61. 61.

    raven

    May 28, 2023 at 11:38 am

    I’m 73.  My best buddy is having bypass surgery next week. He’s a serious exercise person and a really great athlete. All signs are that he’ll be ok after the procedure but you never know. Here at home we’ve done most of the things that have been prescribed to prevent Covid but we’re pretty much done with freaking out about it. There are numerous things that can kill us at this age and we plan to enjoy ourselves as much as we can in the time we have left!

  62. 62.

    Brachiator

    May 28, 2023 at 11:43 am

    Can I just say that I feel a lot less social than I used to be?  I was ready to leave the graduation party an hour after we got there!  Though it got better after a bit.  And I do love my family!  But 6 hours with a zillion people is far too much for me.

    It’s the social season. I have not been doing much, but my sister has already been to a funeral and a graduation this weekend, and is going to a graduation party later today.

  63. 63.

    frosty

    May 28, 2023 at 11:44 am

    @raven: That’s my approach to COVID too. After my obsessively careful cousin got it, I decided there wasn’t any level of COVID avoidance that would work for the rest of my life; and like you, I’d rather be able to travel and see friends from time to time than stay holed up in the house.

    Besides, no matter what we do, when our sons visit, the anti-COVID barriers are broken. My younger son brought it back from college and we both got it!

  64. 64.

    The Dark Avenger

    May 28, 2023 at 11:47 am

    Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius.

  65. 65.

    Brachiator

    May 28, 2023 at 11:51 am

    @raven:

    My best buddy is having bypass surgery next week. He’s a serious exercise person and a really great athlete. All signs are that he’ll be ok after the procedure but you never know.

    Wishing him the best. This procedure has become routine over the past dozen or so years. While waiting in the office for my cardiologist at Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital, I noticed a chart summarizing bypass procedures. Probably wasn’t supposed to see it, but there you go. Patients were up and doing limited physical therapy hours after surgery.

  66. 66.

    raven

    May 28, 2023 at 11:51 am

    @frosty: I had it once and the anti-viral knocked it down. We made it through covid with our weekly outdoor dinner with a bunch of friends and it continues to this day (even though Artie nipped (bit) someone for the third time Friday! We’re headed to Beaufort, SC in the morning and I am scheduled for an inshore fishing trip Wednesday.  We don’t do a great deal of indoor socializing but this little trip will be fun. We lost Bohdi two years ago this week and we made the same trip.

  67. 67.

    raven

    May 28, 2023 at 11:52 am

    @Brachiator: Yea, one of his best pals is a surgeon in Chicago and told him he had it 10 years ago and it hurt a bit and was sore for a while but was much better afterwards.

  68. 68.

    frosty

    May 28, 2023 at 11:57 am

    @Kay: I think you have to fight getting…narrower and closed off.

    Yes, thanks for putting this into words.

  69. 69.

    Kristine

    May 28, 2023 at 11:59 am

    @Dangerman: I had trouble all winter because dry dry skin. Lotions/creams didn’t help. Matters improved a little since the weather warmed, but I cook a lot and that means hand washing and that means trouble with Touch ID until fingerprints oil up.

  70. 70.

    realbtl

    May 28, 2023 at 12:03 pm

    I’ve said for a long time I’m generally ok with persons, it’s people that I can’t stand.

  71. 71.

    Kathleen

    May 28, 2023 at 12:13 pm

    @raven: Wishing your friend a speedy recovery, Raven.

  72. 72.

    BigJimSlade

    May 28, 2023 at 12:17 pm

    @Dangerman:  I shoulda been a jewel thief.

    It’s never too late to start! ;-)

  73. 73.

    Another Scott

    May 28, 2023 at 12:20 pm

    Meanwhile, …

    Turks take voting very seriously if you still didn’t realise that yet pic.twitter.com/ME36J1qyjw

    — Ragıp Soylu (@ragipsoylu) May 28, 2023

    (via Oryx)

    Of course, voting shouldn’t require actually showing up at a physical space… But high turnout is very important!!

    (Insert lesson for USA.)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  74. 74.

    Brachiator

    May 28, 2023 at 12:21 pm

    @frosty:

    Since semi retiring, a number of coworkers have moved away, or passed away. This really changes your social circle outside of family.

    … and I’m basically an introvert. Turns out there’s a limit to how much time I want to spend sitting in the house correcting people on the internet.

    I had never used them before, except for the Dial A Ride service, but the local senior center also had connections to other social service agencies that provide a lot of useful information about various activities and services that might be of interest. Even for us introverts.

  75. 75.

    Spanky

    May 28, 2023 at 12:23 pm

    @Kay:

    On retirement:

    I think you have to fight getting…narrower and closed off.

    This is absolutely true. And it sounds like you’re one of her few contacts, so you get unloaded upon.

    Encourage her to volunteer somewhere. The local library, anything.  Just to get out once or twice a week and get some face to face.

    Odd advice coming from another introvert,  but I saw the danger early and took action.

  76. 76.

    Jeffg166

    May 28, 2023 at 12:27 pm

    About ten days ago I went into the local hardware store not wearing a mask for the first time since the pandemic started. I now have a head cold. First one I have had in decades.

  77. 77.

    Phylllis

    May 28, 2023 at 12:30 pm

    @Dangerman: I asked one time to have one of those bank drive thru drawers installed in my door; I could shove it open with my completed work & they could ring a bell if they wanted to give me something. Never got it.

  78. 78.

    CaseyL

    May 28, 2023 at 12:31 pm

    @Big Picture Pathologist:

    Hank Green and John Green.  Their YT channel is vlogbrothers.  They talk a lot about their other endeavors, and generally have links to the websites for those in the video description. (Here are two: Awesome Coffee and Awesome Socks are companies Hank started, both are mail order/monthly subscription clubs, where all the profits go to charity.  Intentionally modeled after Newman’s Own.)

    Hank has non-Hodgkins lymphoma, and so will be vlogging only when he feels he can.  John has stepped in to run the various companies and projects while Hank is in treatment.

    I very highly recommend them.

  79. 79.

    Kay

    May 28, 2023 at 12:35 pm

    @Spanky:

    She was the public health nurse for the county – an extremely social job. It”s basically “health PR” – she was always being interviewed, at city council meetings, organizing “fun runs” for cancer charities, etc.

    She lives way out in the country on a big piece of property- she’s single- and all of a sudden she’s like “I think someone was in my shed while I was out” – just this fearfulness that she never had.

  80. 80.

    Almost Retired

    May 28, 2023 at 12:37 pm

    Ah, graduation season.  Mrs. Almost Retired (who is, in fact, Mrs. Recently Totally Retired) left a long career as a Vice Principal at a large private high school in Los Angeles.

    Yesterday was the first time in over 35 years she didn’t have to broil in the hot graduation day sun, and lie to parents about how much she enjoyed having their children in school.

    And I no longer have to be the dutiful faculty husband who has to talk to the Board members nobody else likes.

    This year we had mimosas.  At home.

  81. 81.

    dnfree

    May 28, 2023 at 12:38 pm

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym: I hope your travels go well.  We took a trip to Greece in late April.  We wore good masks in the airports, during takeoff and landing, and most of the time during the flights except eating.  We were on a small group tour and many of the sites we visited were outdoors, so we didn’t mask for the rest of the trip, and we are fortunate to have come home as healthy as we were when we left.

  82. 82.

    TiredOfItAll

    May 28, 2023 at 12:39 pm

    Extreme introvert here.  Lockdown didn’t bother me one bit, in fact I rather liked not having to come up with excuses not to see people. I detest small talk.  Crowds of strangers I don’t have to talk to don’t bother me. (I live a few blocks from Times Square.) But Mr. Tired has retired recently and is roaring to socialize.  Divorce may be in our future.  Any of you remember that Twilight Zone episode where Wally Cox survives the apocalypse and stumbles upon a library?  He feels bliss (and I can relate)…until the glasses fall off his face and smash. The horror!! “Introverts of the World, Unite!….Separately, in your own Homes.”

  83. 83.

    JPL

    May 28, 2023 at 12:40 pm

    @Tony Jay: It sounds like fun.

  84. 84.

    StringOnAStick

    May 28, 2023 at 12:41 pm

    We retired to a place where we knew nobody, but now we have more friends and social events than we’ve ever had, and the people are all (except for the libertoonian) such fun to spend time with.  Fortunately this is a great place for outdoors engagement.  We have a playing music together potluck today, and another outdoors potluck tomorrow but we had to change which neighbour’s backyard because he just tested positive.  He teaches at the local CC so he probably was exposed from a student.

    I know most people shrink their social circle when they retire, but we’ve done the opposite and are loving it.

  85. 85.

    lowtechcyclist

    May 28, 2023 at 12:42 pm

    @Juju:

    If your vaccinations are up to date with the most recent bivalent, you shouldn’t worry. You may get something like a head cold but that’s it.

    When my wife got Covid in December, it was easily the sickest either of us had ever been in our lives.  And yes, she was current on her vaccinations including the bivalent vax.

  86. 86.

    JPL

    May 28, 2023 at 12:43 pm

    President Biden attended his granddaughters high school graduation at St. Andrew’s School in Middletown, Delaware.   Dead Poet Society used that location for several scenes.

    That was a great movie.

  87. 87.

    Miss Bianca

    May 28, 2023 at 12:46 pm

    @TiredOfItAll: I believe it was actually Burgess Meredith in that role you mentioned, but your point stands regardless.

    (And when I was a kid and saw that episode, I almost plotzed. To this day, I have a hard time watching any Twilight Zone episodes because that one so traumatized me.)

  88. 88.

    lowtechcyclist

    May 28, 2023 at 12:47 pm

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:

    Restaurants we’ve kind of thrown up our hands on. You have to unmask to eat. So we try to have some distance and also choose a seat with plexiglass barriers if that’s an option. But sometimes (shrug emoji).

    We eat at restaurants a lot less than we used to, even when traveling.  But when we do, we try to hit the off hours, like lunch at 11am or dinner at 4:30.  Makes it easier to have a bit of separation between us and the nearest other diners.

  89. 89.

    StringOnAStick

    May 28, 2023 at 12:48 pm

    @lowtechcyclist: I was fully vaccinated and got the sickest I’ve been in 30 years; caught it mid March.  I’m baseline quite healthy and very active, so it surprised me that I got so sick.  My husband didn’t get quite as sick and bounced back fast; I’m still not 100% but I’m close.  Now I have the hard work of recovering the fitness I lost.

  90. 90.

    StringOnAStick

    May 28, 2023 at 12:52 pm

    @Miss Bianca: Twilight Zone still scares the crap out of me too, probably because at age 5 I was old enough to get the plot and the associated fear but not to be able to not feel those shows were 100% true and real.  I wish I’d never seen the introductive scene to Jaws where the young girl gets tossed around in the nightime sea as the shark eats her.  I’m more careful about what I watch as a result: who needs all that extra limbic stimulation ?

  91. 91.

    raven

    May 28, 2023 at 12:54 pm

    @ALurkSupreme: Where ya’tt? I’ve been in Athens for 38 years.

  92. 92.

    oatler

    May 28, 2023 at 12:58 pm

    Once again, Bob’s Burgers is a bellwether:

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/may/28/venice-police-investigate-source-bright-green-liquid-grand-canal

  93. 93.

    evodevo

    May 28, 2023 at 12:58 pm

    @TiredOfItAll: ​
     th The twilight zone character was burgess meredith

  94. 94.

    Brachiator

    May 28, 2023 at 12:58 pm

    @JPL:

    President Biden attended his granddaughters high school graduation at St. Andrew’s School in Middletown, Delaware.   Dead Poets Society used that location for several scenes.

    Thanks for the fun fact about one of my favorite movies.

  95. 95.

    TiredOfItAll

    May 28, 2023 at 1:01 pm

    @Miss Bianca:

    Yes, you’re right! Burgess Meredith!  For me, too many books, too little time is true.

  96. 96.

    lowtechcyclist

    May 28, 2023 at 1:06 pm

    @oatler:

    The version I heard is “I don’t hate people; I just like them more when they’re not around.”

    Or as Groucho said in Animal Crackers, “How happy I could be with either of these two, if both of them just went away.”

  97. 97.

    ALurkSupreme

    May 28, 2023 at 1:10 pm

    @raven:  Up Tallassee Road.  Had a microburst rage through here a couple of Junes ago, but otherwise we’re enjoying it.

    Did I see you post several years ago that you were a friend of the woman who ran Marti’s at Midday?   I believe we bought our house from her mother.

  98. 98.

    Matt McIrvin

    May 28, 2023 at 1:29 pm

    My spouse and I are introverted in different ways. With me the dominant thing is social anxiety. I have a long run-up time to the moment when I’ve internally calmed down to the point where I can interact with people. She’s the classic introvert where she can jump right in, but it exhausts her store of mental energy and she has to go have alone time to recharge.

    So if we both go to a party, often she wants to go home at the moment where I’ve just gotten warmed up.

  99. 99.

    lowtechcyclist

    May 28, 2023 at 1:30 pm

    @Spanky: ​
     

    Encourage her to volunteer somewhere. The local library, anything. Just to get out once or twice a week and get some face to face.

    Odd advice coming from another introvert, but I saw the danger early and took action.

    Since we’re in the same general neck of the woods and I’m retiring in December, any good suggestions on places to volunteer at in Calvert County? My wife’s gotten a lot more involved with Twin Beach Players since she retired a month ago, but I think that would be a bigger time sink than I’m ready for. If Habitat for Humanity is doing anything in Calvert or southern Anne Arundel, that would be perfect; I’m competent with tools and have no problem being on ladders.

  100. 100.

    trollhattan

    May 28, 2023 at 1:30 pm

    @Miss Bianca: Future Captain Kirk and the wing gremlin–that’s the episode that traumatized wee me. Oh, also “The Car with a Conscience.”

    Have the “Twilight Zone” boxed DVD set and have never viewed any. Someday.

  101. 101.

    Juju

    May 28, 2023 at 1:32 pm

    @lowtechcyclist: I’m sorry to hear that. It must have been rough. From what I understand, and this is from discussions with my brother at family gatherings and whatnot, that a rough case will break through vaccinations, including the bivalent, but it’s not typical. I’m sorry that happened to you.

  102. 102.

    Juju

    May 28, 2023 at 1:37 pm

    @Miss Bianca: The one that plotzed me was the one with the airplane gremlin. I watch enough “Air Disaster” on Smithsonian that airplane gremlins don’t bother me as much as human error.

  103. 103.

    Big Picture Pathologist

    May 28, 2023 at 1:39 pm

    @CaseyL: Thank you!

  104. 104.

    Sister Golden Bear

    May 28, 2023 at 1:46 pm

    @Juju:

    If your vaccinations are up to date with the most recent bivalent, you shouldn’t worry. You may get something like a head cold but that’s it.

    Unfortunately not true. I had Covid six weeks ago and was the sickest I’ve ever been in my life. Still have a lot of post-Covid symptoms — fatigue, shortness of breath, etc. My doctor ordered me to not exercise at all, or do anything else physically demanding until this gets better

    I am still going out in public, but definitely masking again if I’m indoors with lots of people.

  105. 105.

    WaterGirl

    May 28, 2023 at 1:50 pm

    @Almost Retired:

    …and lie to parents about how much she enjoyed having their children in school.

    I laughed!

  106. 106.

    Matt McIrvin

    May 28, 2023 at 1:51 pm

    COVID precautions: right now, based on the best available data, we’re at the lowest sustained ebb in the pandemic since it started, maybe with the exception of the little bit of summer 2021 between the vaccination campaign and the arrival of the Delta and Omicron variants.

    It probably won’t last. But I’ve been watching the wastewater numbers, fretting over every little blip and wondering if it’s a new wave. Hasn’t happened yet.

    In any event, given all that… I still mask up on most public transportation, and at rock concerts, and that’s about it. I like to do it whenever I feel like there’s a real crush of people. Mostly didn’t when I was in Barcelona, where masking right now is even less prevalent than it is here.

    There’s a weird phenomenon on my office days. I wear a mask on the bus to work, and most people don’t. I generally take it off when I step out of the bus depot. But my office is in Boston’s Chinatown, which is probably the one place around here where there’s a visible social norm for wearing masks outdoors in public (especially among older people). So in the space of a couple of blocks on foot I go from being the odd man out for wearing a mask to being the odd man out for not wearing a mask. Sometimes I just leave it on until I get there.

  107. 107.

    NanaR

    May 28, 2023 at 1:53 pm

    @Tony Jay: set in Sicily-Inspector Montalbano Mystery books by Andrea Camilleri. Such smart, insightful, fun reading!!

  108. 108.

    Brachiator

    May 28, 2023 at 1:54 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Have the “Twilight Zone” boxed DVD set and have never viewed any. Someday.

    I love it when there is a T Zone marathon. Among my favorites is an episode with Jack Warden as a prisoner on a barren planet who is given a robot companion.

    And a reliable scare is The Howling Man.

    Also love the one with a young Robert Redford as a mysterious stranger.

  109. 109.

    Matt McIrvin

    May 28, 2023 at 1:55 pm

    @Juju: There’s a lot of variation. I’ve had bouts of flu that were way worse than my vaxxed-and-boosted experience with COVID, particularly before I started getting yearly flu shots. Once several years back I got a cold that developed into chronic bronchitis and I had to go on an asthma inhaler for a while. But still, COVID was more than a normal head cold–in particular, there was one day of an intense sore throat that felt more like a strep infection than what I get from colds.

  110. 110.

    Brachiator

    May 28, 2023 at 1:58 pm

    Breaking news. Erdogan seems to be winning the runoff in the runoff election in Turkey.

  111. 111.

    JML

    May 28, 2023 at 2:00 pm

    Huzzah, Villa is going back to European play! Never thought 7th was possible when StevieMe was bumbling around the club, but Unai Emery didn’t just right the ship; he fixed the engines, patched the holes, got the crew in shape, and turned the whole thing back into a professional operation.

    Huge win at Villa Park today. What a season.

  112. 112.

    The Pale Scot

    May 28, 2023 at 2:01 pm

    I was googling laser communications and came across this

    JEWISH SPACE LASER ACTIVATION PANEL – OPTION 2

  113. 113.

    raven

    May 28, 2023 at 2:17 pm

    @ALurkSupreme: Oh yes, Marti Schimmel, sad case indeed. I guess I missed your post from then.

  114. 114.

    Tony G

    May 28, 2023 at 2:22 pm

    @WaterGirl: Apparently the daily death count is still shockingly high — 500 or more every day … “US Coronavirus Deaths Per Day is at a current level of 590.00, down from 730.00 yesterday and down from 2019.00 one year ago. ”   For some reason Biden never asked my permission before making the announcement, but in my opinion the recent declaration that covid is no longer an emergency was a big mistake.  I guess a nation that can shrug off a few mass shootings every month can treat this high of a death rate as “normal”.  https://ycharts.com/indicators/us_coronavirus_deaths_per_dayhttps://ycharts.com/indicators/us_coronavirus_deaths_per_day https://ycharts.com/indicators/us_coronavirus_deaths_per_day

  115. 115.

    Juju

    May 28, 2023 at 2:22 pm

    @Matt McIrvin: I’m not a physician, but my brother is one. We’ve had discussions because I’ve had pneumonia and am considered compromised and our mother is 90 and I am her caretaker. I was just restating what he has told me about his personal experience and experience as a primary care physician, and from what he’s read. I’ve been very fortunate not to have had covid, so it’s all worked for me, as it has also worked for my mother.  I don’t mask, but I tend to do shopping and other things at less crowded times.

    I do understand how people feel when whatever virus hits harder than it does for most other people. When H1N1 was going around in 2009 I got it just before an appointment to get the flu shot. It was one of the worst flus I’ve ever had, and even with Tamiflu I still got sick enough that I thought I could die. It took me almost two months to feel close to normal again.

  116. 116.

    Juju

    May 28, 2023 at 2:29 pm

    @Tony G:  I took a look at the tiny print charts and either didn’t see or couldn’t find information about wether those who have died were vaccinated or unvaccinated. That would seem to be pertinent information.

  117. 117.

    Redshift

    May 28, 2023 at 2:36 pm

    I agree with you, WG, but that may be colored by the fact that I spent most of the past two days in the Denver airport because of weather delays and cancellations.

  118. 118.

    trollhattan

    May 28, 2023 at 3:18 pm

    @The Pale Scot: ​Perfect!

  119. 119.

    Tony Jay

    May 28, 2023 at 3:38 pm

    @JPL:

    It’ll be exhausting, but sooooo exciting. Can’t wait.

    @NanaR:

    They’re Sicily based? I’ll have to give them a spin before we go. Get in the mood.

  120. 120.

    Ruckus

    May 28, 2023 at 3:39 pm

    @japa21:

    According to the CDC, last week listed May 20, 247 deaths.

  121. 121.

    Ruckus

    May 28, 2023 at 3:53 pm

    I’m going to be 74 in a few weeks and Have been retired about 1 1/2 yrs. I live in a seniors complex, over 55, oldest that I know of is 96 and most of the people here are retired. I walk semi regularly and do talk to a few of my neighbors. So far I am enjoying retirement. The adjustment to not having a job and working took me about an hour.

    One thing I have found to be very important is to remain physically active. One doesn’t have to be as active as they might have been 5-10 yrs ago but at least remaining somewhat active is very good and necessary health wise.

  122. 122.

    Steeplejack

    May 28, 2023 at 4:12 pm

    @NanaR:

    I will add my usual plug for the Montalbano TV series (streaming on MHz). Thirty-plus feature-length episodes, (mostly) faithful to Camilleri and shot against gorgeous Sicilian scenery.

  123. 123.

    Matt McIrvin

    May 28, 2023 at 4:24 pm

    @Juju: These days, a pretty large majority of the people who die of COVID are “fully vaccinated”. But there are two things to keep in mind when interpreting that:

    1. The old base-rate fallacy. Most Americans at this point are “fully vaccinated”, and, especially, nearly all of the 80+ year old people who are predominantly dying of COVID. So that’s very different from a statement about relative death rates.
    2. “Fully vaccinated” by the CDC’s old definition is an increasingly obsolete condition–it means you got two shots of the mRNA vaccines or one of the J&J, and you might have gotten them way back in 2021. It doesn’t mean you’re up to date on shots. Most Americans haven’t gotten any boosters at all, and there’s a lot of evidence by now that being up to date on boosters improves your chances by a lot.
  124. 124.

    Steeplejack

    May 28, 2023 at 4:26 pm

    @Tony Jay:

    As I commented to NanaR, check out the RAI television series. The scenery will definitely get you in the Sicilian mood.

  125. 125.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    May 28, 2023 at 5:15 pm

    I used to party hearty and attended concerts with up to 30,000 people, all without a care other than sneaking a stash into the venue and not getting caught (unblemished record to this day!). Now? Fuck no. I avoid large groups of people to the point that I hate going to the store…lol!

  126. 126.

    Soprano2

    May 28, 2023 at 5:30 pm

    @Kay: I think that’s right. This is IMHO another bad side effect of Covid, especially for younger people. I wonder how many people who work at home will become closed off from the world. I didn’t, because I never worked at home. Many people have forgotten that the majority of workers NEVER STOPPED GOING TO WORK. From what I read online you’d think 90% of us worked from home during Covid. Every time I hear or read the word “lockdown” in association with Covid I want to scream “We were never ‘locked down'”.

  127. 127.

    Ruckus

    May 28, 2023 at 5:53 pm

    @Kay:

    The longer one is retired and stops going out except for food (or not even then – delivery!) the less one sees other people and the less energy one has. I was walking 2 miles a day but getting older means less physical exercise and it is a vicious circle, less exercise means less reserve/worse shape and that means one can’t get as much exercise and gets worse shape wise. You can see where this is going. So now I walk the same 2 miles but at a slower pace and try every other day. That way my heart gets a chance to rest and I stay reasonably in shape. My saying is “This getting old shit is getting old.” Oh well. And I do talk to people – and listen, because otherwise one sits at home and slowly withers away.

  128. 128.

    David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch

    May 28, 2023 at 6:09 pm

     it’s the first time since Covid that I have been in a room with more than two people at the same time.

    How did you get groceries?

  129. 129.

    Soprano2

    May 28, 2023 at 6:10 pm

    @Ruckus: This is why I do Jazzercize and yoga. I go to classes for one of another of these 5 days a week. I want to stay in good shape as long as I can, plus I have to stay healthy for my husband’s sake. There’s no one to look out for him except me.

  130. 130.

    Miss Bee

    May 28, 2023 at 7:02 pm

    @Dangerman:

     

    @Dangerman: I made the same discovery about my fingers a few years ago.  I needed to be fingerprinted for an FBI clearance and no fingerprint was forthcoming.  Cornhuskers worked the best, but that’s not to say that it resulted in a distinctive fingerprint.  I’ve looked this up and learned that about 1 in 10 people turn up this way.  Handwashing, handling a lot of paper, and genes are cited as causes.

  131. 131.

    Betsy

    May 28, 2023 at 7:51 pm

    @Eolirin: ​
     

    I just looked that number a few hours ago. U.S. covid deaths are 590/day as of a few days ago.
    Very very very sad.

  132. 132.

    UncleEbeneezer

    May 28, 2023 at 7:55 pm

    Six hours is a LONG time to socialize.  I’m generally out-going and even like making small talk with new people, but after about two hours I’m very ready to bail.

  133. 133.

    Another Scott

    May 28, 2023 at 8:04 pm

    @Betsy: @Eolirin: @WaterGirl:

    Bill McBride has been watching the COVID-19 numbers in the USA almost as long as AL. He says the numbers these days are lumpy and are frequently revised.

    May 26 Update:

    He shows 778 deaths per week in this period.

    For deaths, I’m currently using 3 weeks ago for “now”, since the most recent two weeks will be revised significantly.

    It’s still too many, but it’s still going in the right direction.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  134. 134.

    Tony G

    May 28, 2023 at 9:34 pm

    @Juju: Yes.  I wish that it were easier to find statistics about rates of hospitalizations and deaths among “fully vaccinated and boosted” people compared to unvaccinated people.  One would think that that information would be made easily available by the government, but I’ve had a hard time finding it.  “Anecdotes are not data” as the old saying goes, but in my personal experience I have a number of family members (including my sisters and my adult sons) who have caught covid after being vaccinated and boosted and who fully recovered after a week or two of cold-like symptoms.  The only family member who has died had the misfortune of catching it in 2020, before vaccines were available.  Not great messaging in my opinion; meanwhile the RFK-juniors of the world are spreading their anti-vaxx propaganda.

  135. 135.

    The Lodger

    May 29, 2023 at 12:01 am

    @CaseyL: Can you identify these guys? The only brothers I can think of are Click and Clack, and I know it’s not them.

  136. 136.

    The Lodger

    May 29, 2023 at 12:09 am

    @CaseyL: Never mind, I see you answered the question. I wondered if John Green was the same person who wrote some outstanding YA novels, and he is!

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