Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

He really is that stupid.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

T R E 4 5 O N

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

… among the most cringeworthy communications in the history of the alphabet!

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

We’ll be taking my thoughts and prayers to the ballot box.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

As long as McCarthy is Speaker, the House will never be in order.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

I conferred with the team and they all agree – still not tired of winning!

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Make The World A Better Place / Acts of Kindness: We Are All Flavored Differently

Acts of Kindness: We Are All Flavored Differently

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Trying to rejoin the living. I was waylaid by a terrible flu at the end of April/beginning of May and it’s just dragged on for weeks. Meanwhile, adulting didn’t stop – broken dishwasher, mysterious code on the car that the service techs can’t figure out, topped off with back-to-back wind/hail storms that shredded my roof. AND I had just planted my tomatoes and peppers – luckily I only lost one tomato. The walls of water saved the day.

So, I’ve been busy. Right now making quick decisions on house colors so we can get the right gutters up that won’t need to be painted. The roof is a no-brainer – it’s very light grey now and we’ll be going as light as possible because light roofs make life better (see info here).

Don’t know how much posting I’ll be doing, but hopefully, this will remind you there are good things out there.

I’ve been trying to stay far from Twitter, so lots of YouTube – I don’t usually recommend blocking ads, but it really helps if you’re watching a lot of videos. YMMV.

Let’s get started!

Nibby!

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An Ohio dad found a sweet way to ensure that his kids with special needs have employment opportunities — and now their business has become a community favorite!

Joel Wegener told NBC affiliate WLWT that he decided to buy an ice cream truck in April after realizing that it may be a challenge for his two adult kids, Josh, 18, and Mary Kate, 21, to receive a job offer because they both have Down syndrome.

“It started out as an idea to sell ice cream, now it’s so much bigger than that,” explained Joel, who also shares eight other biological children with his wife Freida.

“Mary Kate just finished up at Pathways [a program for individuals with varying abilities] and when people asked her, she’s always said, ‘I wanna work with Papa,'” he added to the outlet. “But then when we started talking about this ice cream business, it was just a natural [thing] to bring her in and also bring Josh in.”

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I swear, in my head, I posted a full thread about Great Dane therapy dogs, but it looks like that never happened, so I’ll sprinkle all the videos I have through subsequent kindness posts. Here’s the first one:

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Steve Hartman bringing the kindness, as always. Also, this story on Doreen Ketchens is worth your time especially if you like jazz and happy endings.

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Trigger alert – lost dog reunited with widowed owner:

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Finish up with this – one of my favorite follows. Patrick Dexter plays his cello outside, showing off the great landscape of Ireland.

One thing I learned from the recent storms, my pups can sleep through anything – but raccoons bothering their ducks, of course.

Acts of Kindness: Lost is Found

Jasper and Trixie demonstrating their sleeping skills.

Acts of Kindness: Lost is Found 1

Nora (muddy one) and Nick are not fans of the hail. Luckily the worst storm happened after they were in bed. The second one happened in the afternoon, with gale-force winds just slamming us. I couldn’t get outside to help them, nor could I coax them into the house. But being smart ducks, they finally figured out if they snuggled up under the bushes next to the fence that was blocking the wind, they could manage. I thought they were quite clever to figure out which fence to hide next to – because only one length of fencing blocked the gusts.

Okay, that’s it for tonight. Remember to be kind to yourself. Share any good news in the comments.

 

Reader Interactions

89Comments

  3. 3.

    brendancalling

    It’s been a hard day with no good news except that my weed guy came through. And after today, I could definitely do with a toke. So let’s hear it for the weed guy—coming through when you need him!

  5. 5.

    WaterGirl

    Can someone help me decipher Trixie in that photo?

    I see the red collar, and I see the 4 paws.  But I cannot make out what the rest of the parts are.  And I think that maybe there there is a nose by the two paws where one is crossed over the other.  Though I can’t make out any eyes, open or closed, so I am very confused.

    But I simply can not make out a face or a recognizable body part.  Is that a very large ear draped over Jasper’s face?

  8. 8.

    MomSense

    I hear you about adulting.  My mom called me saying she had a fender bender and then a cryptic comment about panicking.  Well the entire back and side of her car is messed up and the mirror is gone. It was sufficiently bad that she has decided not to drive anymore.  For the last year, driving was just about a mile and a half to the downtown.
    Anyway she has some bruising on her face and a small scrape on her forehead.
    Today she took the local shuttle bus on the whole route to confirm she can get to her various medical appointments.
    We are also dealing with some cognitive changes and the anger / frustration that goes with it.

  10. 10.

    Joy in FL

    I hope you are feeling better each day. What a time you’ve had!
    Thanks for all kindness that moves you to post these kindness posts : )

  11. 11.

    Manyakitty

    @MomSense: ugh. Frustrating for everyone. So glad nobody was seriously injured and that she made the decision to hang up her keys. Strength.

  13. 13.

    Manyakitty

    @WaterGirl: the floppy ear is her right. Her head is relatively straight, so trace back from her ear to the middle of her forehead and then down her nose.

  18. 18.

    JPL

    My eldest grand imp (4) was in the toddler program at the local Montessori school and was taught how to bake biscuits.   He became concerned because no one baked biscuits for Mr. Mohammad who was the grounds keeper.  He was allowed to bake biscuits for him and it was well received.  Tears flowed.

    Now two years later he is still the same way even though he is in primary.

    OMG Since I have him and his little bro Thursday thru Friday, I’ll report how sweet he is.  ha

  24. 24.

    WaterGirl

    @JPL: So sweet of him!  I’m sure everyone was proud.

    A friend of mine had a son in kindergarten.  The teacher was apparently kind of crabby with a short fuse one day, and my friend’s son walked up to the teacher and said, “Mrs. Wilson, I think you need a hug.”  And he proceeded to do just that.

    I suspect he learned that at home. So sweet!  :-)

  28. 28.

    WaterGirl

    @Dan B: Okay, now I can see it!  Thank you.  I should see the straight-line slit, and then if I put my finger over the paw that’s next to Trixie’s face, I could totally see her face.

    I feel much better now!

    Thanks to all who helped clue me in.  I just couldn’t see her face, and now I can’t not see it. :-)

  29. 29.

    Ohio Mom

    I’ve heard about Special Neat Treats but have yet to see them in person. I probably should look them up on social media to find out where they will be going next in the Cincinnati area.

    Setting up a business for your disabled kids is definitely a thing. An example I remember hearing about an autistic young man who loved shredding papers so his parents set him up in shredding business; they’d get business to contract with them and drive him over to the businesses on a regular rotation.

    I am not sure how any of this works long term because those supplying the “natural supports” (parents) aren’t going to be able to fill that role indefinitely. Then what?

    @brendancalling: If you explained what is troubling you in another thread, I missed it, just hoping things start looking up.

  38. 38.

    eclare

    @MomSense:

    That must be scary to give up driving.  Best of luck to you and your mom.

    Does your city have reliable Uber/Lyft service?

  43. 43.

    eclare

    Nibi is adorable!  Amazing how building dams is an innate drive.  And she separates her toys from her sticks.

    I hope you feel better and have some calmer days, TaMara.

  47. 47.

    Wapiti

    @Ohio Mom: I am not sure how any of this works long term because those supplying the “natural supports” (parents) aren’t going to be able to fill that role indefinitely.

    I had a boss who was a real fitness freak – which was fine, this was when I was in the Army. One day he had a talk with entire office (maybe 12-15 of us), where he explained his philosophy:

    He had a kid with Down’s Syndrome. They don’t have good life expectancy. The boss figured he needed to take care of himself, because he needed to outlive his kid.

  50. 50.

    Josie

    I was so proud of my granddaughter today. She is five years old and autistic. I picked her up from her first day at a camp for disabled children. I was worried that going to a new place with all new people would be difficult for her and might cause behavior problems. The woman who brought her out to me said that she was the sweetest child she had ever seen and that she was unusually kind and supportive of the other children in her group. This is the personality we have always seen in Genny and are thrilled that she holds onto it even under stress.

  54. 54.

    MomSense

    Thanks, everyone.  We moved to this town because of the services – the local bus, the bus to Portland, and the train that goes from here to Boston.
    The anger that goes with cognitive changes I could do without.  Dear lord my internal monologue is not so nice right now.  I don’t know how you make peace with all the things that happen when a loved one is in the early stages of dementia. I’m going to be a basket case when she passes.

  60. 60.

    Ohio Mom

    @Wapiti: I think it was easier to outlive your DS kid a while ago. Medical science has lengthened their lifespans — so much so that we now know DS predisposes you to develop Alzheimer’s in late middle-age (in your 50s and sometimes even your 40s).

  62. 62.

    WaterGirl

    @MomSense: It’s such a difficult thing, please don’t be hard on yourself.  I am sure that you are handing it with grace.  It’s just not possible for a human to do that for every minute of every day.

    I repeat, please don’t be hard on yourself.  I’m sure you are doing great.

  64. 64.

    Josie

    @MomSense: ​
      I must tell you a story. Some years ago, I was on my way back home from visiting my Mom, who was in a care home for Alzheimer’s patients She had gradually deteriorated over a ten year period until we could not longer keep her at home.
    I called my middle son in tears because I was feeling guilty about not staying longer to visit with her because it was so frustrating. I told him I was not a good person. His answer was that I was there, so I was a good person, that my brothers, who were not there and never came to visit, were the not good persons.
    Never feel bad about your negative feelings. You are doing what needs to be done, and I’ll bet you are doing it well. Feel proud of that.

  68. 68.

    Josie

    Thanks to everyone for your kind words. The progress Genny has made in the last two years is amazing and is a direct result of wonderful therapists, much new knowledge, and parents who are determined to advocate for her. I wish all children were so blessed.

  69. 69.

    Dan B

    My little grey kitten is asleep on the back of my chair at times resting on my shoulder.  Mike says he’s like my parrot.  It’s wonderful because yesterday he wouldn’t eat and didn’t want pets.  He slept in places he never has before.  It was concerning and so nice he’s back to normal, even if “normal” is a touch weird.

  71. 71.

    Wapiti

    @MomSense: To some degree, I think people with dementia are frustrated – their world has drastically changed and they have to figure it out again, like we all did when we were infants and toddlers.

    My dad was ranting at the PT person one day (he’s terrified of falling again) and then he sort of sat back and said “I don’t want to be angry about this”.

    Maybe he’s grieving for what he’s lost; I’m not sure he has that much cognition.

  72. 72.

    Jackie

    This is shockingly good news!

    “Republican Gov. Joe Lombardo signed a measure into law Tuesday that would protect out-of-state abortion seekers and those providing reproductive care from prosecution in Nevada, regardless of other states’ policies.”

    ““Governor Lombardo made a campaign commitment to sign a law ensuring that Nevada would not participate in prosecuting those seeking legal medical care in the state,” Lombardo spokesperson Elizabeth Ray told The Nevada Independent Tuesday.”

    A Republican who actually keeps and fulfills a campaign promise!

    https://thenevadaindependent.com/article/lombardo-nevadas-gop-governor-signs-measure-protecting-out-of-state-abortion-seekers

  73. 73.

    MomSense

    @Wapiti:

    Yes, I think grief is a big part of it especially when they are still aware enough to know what is happening.

  74. 74.

    eclare

    @MomSense:

    Yes.  In her last six months, my mom did not lose much cognitively, but the physical decline was steep.  She became very angry, and I had to keep telling myself that she must be so scared.

    As WaterGirl said, take care of yourself and don’t be hard on yourself.  It’s difficult and draining.

  75. 75.

    Amir Khalid

    You all know what would be an act of kindness? It would be a real act of kindness if movies and their trailers weren’t so damn LOUD, CRASHY AND EXPLODEY. These days, it seems like even romantic comedies and kid-friendly animated movies are LOUD, CRASHY AND EXPLODEY. I hate sitting in Hall 4 at the multiplex and hearing the crashes and explosions from the movie playing in Hall 6.

  76. 76.

    mvr

    TaMara, The roof is a no-brainer – it’s very light grey now and we’ll be going as light as possible because light roofs make life better (see info here).

     

    You probably know this already but since the link did not explicitly say this, I’ll mention that even with about the same color of asphalt roof there are special more reflective shingles that cost a bit more but do in fact work pretty well. Our attic is cooler after we replaced the old ones with new ones of this sort in the same basic shade.

    FWIW, in case it helps.

  77. 77.

    Ruckus

    @MomSense:

    It is difficult. My dad had Alzheimers and he lived a long time with it. I first noticed signs over 15 yrs before he passed. He made another 5 or so years on his own but then he could no longer. When he was still driving I found out that he would go out and then drive around his neighborhood looking for his apt building. Then sister moved him in with her and she hired a woman to help but they only lasted 6 weeks. Most of us need distance away from parents with dementia. It is like taking care of a fully grown infant who wants to be on their own. It most often doesn’t end reasonably. Or have a reasonable beginning or middle either. We found a couple of women that owned 5 homes and they would take care of 3 or 4 adults with dementia in each one. They, and their employees could do what most relatives can not – watch their parents devolve and die in front of them. It’s too emotional and too difficult and the parents just do not want to listen to the kids. This may not be everyone but we found out that it is most everyone.

  78. 78.

    mvr

    @MomSense: FWIW, when my dad died 25 years ago my mom was in the middle stages of dementia.  I organized her care for the next five years through stages of decline until her death, at first from afar and then here in town where I was on call to help out if needed. We had a good relationship and that helped, though it made it harder for me sometimes to do what was needed since we had always been very frank an honest with one another and sometimes when a person is having too many cognitive issues you have to explain by simplifying (at the very least).

    It really is difficult and I’m very sure you are doing as well as  or better than anyone could expect.

    Anyway, FWIW, I did learn a bit in the process of doing that and would be happy to pass some of that on. I’m easy to find, as a philosophy prof in Lincoln Nebraska with a website.

    Cars are an issue, but it sounds like your mom may be giving up driving without too much fuss. That is probably good. My mom wanted to keep the car but at a certain point she stopped driving it. It was harder for her to admit she got lost than to keep it but not use it. Eventually I was able to sell it.

    One other issue I’ll mention – that you may already know about: It is good to get legal stuff done (powers of attorney for health care, possibly money, etc.) while she is still relatively competent to make decisions, since at some point certain things are harder to do.

  79. 79.

    Chris T.

    @Amir Khalid: A friend of mine calls these the “Loud Noises” movies. He kind of wonders why they bother with any other title, they could just number them, “Loud Noises LXXVI” or whatever.

  80. 80.

    mrmoshpotato

    So! Good!

    And I hope Trixy’s ear keeps Jasper’s head warm!  LOL!

    And Nora, oh Nora…  You dirty duck! Hahaha!  ❤️

  82. 82.

    NutmegAgain

    Best videos, just the best. Thank you TaMara, and I hope you stay feeling better.

    My small contributions to the world of feel-good stuff are (1) that the doggo I fostered over the winter has wound up with the kindest most loving people I could imagine … and they live by the beach! (This for a Newfoundland is really hitting the jackpot, and the big gray boy really deserves it. 6+ years in a cage–really– never been out on the grass, nothing, and now he has his own beach and loving people who are gaga about him.) Yay! And (2) I am currently fostering a young fellow, also Newf, this time a Landseer, who is, to put it kindly, bonkers. He’s on the small side, and very wiry and athletic–not the first things that come to mind regarding a Newfy. His person is going through some rough stuff, and lost his housing where he could live with his dog. Thankfully the rescue is able to do an intermediate holding kind of thing. I’m his caretaker, and, although he’s only about 85-90 pounds, he is spring loaded. I am getting a workout! But he’s such a sweetie.

    If your life can include it, I highly recommend becoming a foster of whatever kind of creature you are prepared for. So rewarding.

  83. 83.

    mrmoshpotato

    @JaySinWA:

    We Are All Flavored Differently 

    Am I the only one that gets a “How to Serve Man” vibe from this title?

    Well, if you think you were marinated more deliciously than the rest of us…

  87. 87.

    NeenerNeener

    TaMara: I just getting around to reading this about 12 hours late. Do you still drive a Kia Niro? I’ve had to have two of the sensors replaced on mine in the last six months. The car still acted just fine except for the Check Engine light that kept coming on.

  88. 88.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Adam L Silverman: There’s always room for cello.

    What? Someone had to say it.

    Um, someone said it a lonnnnng time ago. Somewhere in my stash of memorabilia I have a copy of a one-panel newspaper comic from last millennium: Backstage at the symphony, musical instruments piled up in the darkened wing. A spotlight shines over the viewer’s right shoulder, silhouetting a beaver’s tail furiously flapping against the curtains. Caption:

    After devouring the priceless Stradivarius, Barney the Beaver discovers that there’s always room for cello.

    :^D

    Nothing new under the sun, kids…

  89. 89.

    TaMara

    @NeenerNeener: Yes and I’m having the same problem!! What was your solution – I have to take it back in next week so they can try and figure it out.  (I may email you the same Q)

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