Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

This fight is for everything.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

‘Museums aren’t America’s attic for its racist shit.’

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

There are some who say that there are too many strawmen arguments on this blog.

You cannot love your country only when you win.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

The fight for our country is always worth it. ~Kamala Harris

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

She burned that motherfucker down, and I am so here for it. Thank you, Caroline Kennedy.

The desire to stay informed is directly at odds with the need to not be constantly enraged.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Family Is Family: OzarkHillbilly

Family Is Family: OzarkHillbilly

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This is OzarkHillbilly’s brother, Dave, and his wife Renee.

OzarkHillbilly’s brother Dave and his wife, Renee

We’ll let our beloved Ozark share the details below, but OzarkHillbilly is family to us on Balloon Juice, so we’d like to see what we can do to help his family. If we could raise $5 or $7 or $10k to help get them over the hump, that would be a huge gift as they face all of this, but anything we can do, even short of that, will be greatly appreciated.

This photo breaks my heart, because they are so happy and because the love between them is so clear. What a terrible loss.

On June 25 my brother David took his own life. He left behind his wife Renee, his sons Joseph and Andrew, his daughter Bethany, step-daughters Erin and Chelsea, and their children, Henry, Olivia, and Amelia (not to mention 2 brothers and 2 sisters).

All of whom thought the world of Dave.

Dave was hardworking, funny, caring, giving, forgiving, and deeply in love with Renee. It quickly became obvious that he was staring down the barrels of a financial shotgun as their house was about to go into foreclosure.

For right now, we have managed to catch up on the payments and kept the lights on inside it but another mortgage payment is due soon and there is a lot of work to be done before it can be sold and that will most likely be at a “must sell” price.

In the meanwhile it will be months before his affairs (pension, 401K, SS survivor’s benefits, life insurance, etc) are straightened out, which without a death certificate is impossible to do and we are being told that might take another 8 weeks.

We’re all just working stiffs and while some of us still have savings we can draw down on, they are limited. Renee can use some help getting over this hump.

~ OzarkHillbilly

Here’s the link to the GoFundMe, if you’re so inclined.

As always on Balloon Juice, no one should ever feel that they have to contribute to any fundraising we do on Bj.

Update: We raised over $13,000, which should be about $10,500 after taxes.  Balloon Juice peeps are awesome!

Reader Interactions

114Comments

  2. 2.

    Alison Rose

    I wish I were able to give more than my pittance. Sending love and light to Ozark and Renee and the whole family. May his memory be a blessing <3

  4. 4.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Just sent $75.  Wish it could be more; I’ll have a look at the exchequer and see if I can find some additional.

    Dave and Renee look like lovely people. Hugs and strength to the whole family.

  6. 6.

    persistentillusion

    In for a smidge.  Been there, have the t-shirt and the scars.  Holding your family in the light.

  10. 10.

    Miss Bianca

    I too have contributed my mite. Wish it could be more, so sorry about OH’s brother.

  11. 11.

    Joy in FL

    donated, wanting to relieve some of the relievable stress.

    sending condolence and kindness to Ozark and family.

  17. 17.

    MomSense

    Hey Ozark, when Renee is settled in her new place I’d love to knit a blanket for her, something she can curl up with that feels cozy and safe.

  19. 19.

    Barbara

    I donated. This is so sad but I hope the family can pull together and start healing without being so burdened financially.

  26. 26.

    Joy in FL

    @Ksmiami: I might be wrong, but I see your comment as sympathetic about the kind of absolute depth of loss that goes with death by suicide.

  29. 29.

    Jerzy Russian

    In for $50.

    Eight weeks (or more) seems like a long time to wait for a death certificate.  Is this normal, or are there those “unusual” circumstances that apply here?

  31. 31.

    oldster

    So sorry to hear about your loss, Ozark.

    I sent your family a little something to help you past the rough patch.

  34. 34.

    MazeDancer

    Heart-breaking. May some peace be granted to Renee by this GFM.

    And any donation, including kind thoughts if that is what you can spare, is to be appreciated, and I kicked in but a mite, to whomever recognized their privilege by giving $1000, many blessings to you.

  35. 35.

    Alison Rose

    @Ksmiami: Okay, I can understand that. I’ve also been there and I just think it’s important to avoid saying things that might come across as critical. I’m sure you’ve seen the, let’s say, unkind things some folks say about people who lose their lives this way. I know that wasn’t your intent but those are sentiments that are out there, sadly.

  36. 36.

    FastEdD

    I understand your loss and the chaos that happens afterward. When I lost my partner last year, the mortuary was demanding immediate payment of $24,000. They were threatening to put her in a pauper’s grave if they didn’t get the money right away. We kept telling them the estate had to be settled first and they had to wait. No dice. It took a lawyer and a friendly banker to get them to stop hassling those of us in grief. Bastards.

    Everything is gonna be alright. Be strong. You’ll get through this. I did.

  43. 43.

    la caterina

    In. My condolences again, Ozark. Hope this fund will ease the family’s burden a bit.

  53. 53.

    Soprano2

    @FastEdD: That is a nuts bill. It didn’t cost that much to bring my stepson’s remains to MO from Hawaii! What were they charging you for?

  55. 55.

    TaMara

    Well, that was heartwarming, just got home, checked the gofundme and we are past the first goal. I’m in for a pittance (just had to put a new roof on, so wish it could be more).

    Sending love to Ozark and his entire family. [[[hugs]]]

  63. 63.

    JPL

    Done!  Once again I’m so sorry, and may  my amount be of use to your SIL

     

    This is an incredible site that John created.

  65. 65.

    RaflW

    Added to the kitty. And add my sorrow and condolences to Ozark, Renee, and family.

    I so appreciate John and this community for the collective generosity.

  72. 72.

    Gretchen

    https://www.aspeckledtrout.com/?fbclid=IwAR3XRPW92H5et2u13ypEvC7G7lHg6xM4Uv6R8mwRjHi6daN60z01CCHdLak

    this is a blog by a woman in my neighborhood who lost her husband to suicide  three years ago. She used to just write about everyday things until the day it happened. Then she wrote about her initial shock, her efforts to get through the immediate aftermath for herself and her grown kids, and then her struggle to continue her life in the aftermath. I think others dealing with this situation would find it helpful.

  74. 74.

    oldster

    Fund over $11k.  Jackals are amazing.

    I hope every penny makes a small chore a little less burdensome.

  75. 75.

    WaterGirl

    You guys are amazing!  As I type this, the fundraiser is at $11,181.  Once we get to $12,000, we will disable donations.  That should net Renee $10,000 after taxes, something to help keep things going as she makes it through these seemingly impossible days .

    I’m off to walk on the treadmill, back in 25 minutes.

  78. 78.

    satby

    May the support and love from all of us bring a tiny bit of comfort to Dave’s family. Little bits add up to great things.

  82. 82.

    Immanentize

    Ozark — Tom, so very sorry for the loss of everyone who knew and loved your brother. I can see how one can just not see the light is still there for them, and I hope (but am not certain) that will never happen to me. I’m gonna throw in as much scratch as I can right now because, as my uncle often asked me — “What are you holding tight for? Ever see a hearse with a U-Haul?” I have no doubt you will be called on to be strong for everyone around you. Let us back you up as needed.

    Imm

  86. 86.

    MazeDancer

    @WaterGirl: Did Ozark ask you to stop at 12K?

    Otherwise, what about folks that might not see this post until tonight or tomorrow?

    People take comfort in doing what they can. Seems like they ought to be allowed to give, too.

  90. 90.

    WaterGirl

    @MazeDancer:  No, I have not heard from Ozark today.

    Cole is very conscious of not wanting to ask too much of folks on Balloon Juice. When he could see that the fundraiser was gong great, Cole called and asked me if we should stop it at $10k since the goal was 5-10.

    Since the recipient of GoFundMe $ is taxed, I said I thought we should leave it open until we hit $12k so Renee would get $10k after taxes.

    We raised $13,281, which is 10,500 or so after 20% taxes reserved.

    I can see what Ozark has to say when we talk next.

  91. 91.

    ToesInTheSand

    OZ, while there is no way to feel your pain, we do feel your loss. Peace and love to you and your family.  Donated.

  92. 92.

    NutmegAgain

    The GoFundMe appears to be closed? When/if it reopens , etc.

    Meantime, sending love & light to the Ozark family.

  96. 96.

    Soprano2

    Well dammit you disabled it before I could donate! I’m glad you raised more than your goal, though. If you open it up again I’ll be sure to help out, from one Ozarker to another.

  97. 97.

    Soprano2

    @Eyeroller: That’s what happened with my stepson, but his was an unattended death where the cause of death wasn’t obvious, so they had to do tox screens and wait for the results to come back, plus it was Hawaii where time seems to move somewhat differently. Even for a death by suicide 8 weeks seems like a long time.

  98. 98.

    Rileys Enabler

    Just got here and missed the window. Please advise if it reopens, I’d like to participate. Sending love and support to OH and his family. I am so sorry.

  99. 99.

    Mai Naem mobileI

    @WaterGirl: got here late as well. I’ll donate if you open it again. OH, my condolences to your family.  This has to be absolutely awful for your family to go through.

  100. 100.

    MazeDancer

    @WaterGirl: Understand.  But seems like a special circumstance. As you can see, people want to participate.

    Maybe you could time limit instead of amount limit. Open until 10 tonight or something?

  101. 101.

    SFAW

    @WaterGirl: ​
     
    Add me to the list of jackals who saw this after donations were closed. Hoping it will re-open, so that I can kick in some.
    As far as Cole “not wanting to ask too much of folks on Balloon Juice” — we’re adults, we can make our own decisions to support whom we choose. I give to some causes/persons, but not to all requests. But I think the love for Ozark (and his family) is pretty strong here, and John shouldn’t worry about “going to the well too often” in this case.

  102. 102.

    raven

    @SFAW: There have been a number of “blegs” the last few days and it’s understandable that John would be sensitive to that fact.

  103. 103.

    ghost cat

    Ozark, my heart goes out to you and Renee and all the rest of your family. Sounds like Dave was a prince among men in your family and will be sorely missed by all.
    I missed the gofundme deadline but I’d like to donate if there are more needs in the future, even just everyday stuff, groceries, animal care, house repairs, etc. My sister committed suicide many years ago, but I still remember the times when getting through the day was a huge challenge and just figuring out what to do for dinner was beyond me.

  104. 104.

    ChrisSherbak

    Happy (?) that Juicers hit the mark (I also only saw after the cutoff) and hope the show of support gives what little comfort can come their way.

  105. 105.

    lowtechcyclist

    @MazeDancer: ​

    If every person in America is allowed to give any other person a certain amount tax free, seems like these gifts should be tax free.Not a tax attorney, of course.

    IANAL as well, but long ago I was a trusts-and-estates paralegal. Gifts were, and are still, taxed as part of the unified Estate and Gift Tax taxation, where each giver/decedent has to hit a threshold beyond the reach of most of us before the first dollar of your gifts and bequests is taxed. (IIRC, the threshold is currently in the $10M range.)

    The part that I don’t have any personal knowledge of is this business about funds raised through a GoFundMe being taxable. It boggles my mind that a gift would be transmuted into regular income by virtue of being channeled through a GoFundMe, but I can’t say that’s not the case. ETA: After all, we didn’t have GoFundMe back then. We didn’t even have Netscape yet!

    But if it IS the case, then the next time we do one of these, let’s have the recipient set up a P.O. box at their local post office, so we can write checks directly to that person. So we can write the word “GIFT” in big letters on that line on the bottom of the check where you can say what it’s for. Sixty bucks to rent a PO box is a lot cheaper than hundreds or (in this case, apparently) thousands in income tax.​
    ETA: I mean, sure, do the GoFundMe itself too, but at least we’d have a way of avoiding this mysterious transubstantiation of money from gift to regular income.​

  106. 106.

    Elizabelle

    @ghost cat:  So sorry to hear about your sister.  Cannot imagine anyone ever gets over a loss like that.

    I’d like to donate if there are more needs in the future, even just everyday stuff, groceries, animal care, house repairs, etc.

    I like the idea about opening another fundraiser, down the road, for Renee and family.  There are likely to be (moving) expenses; maybe education for the family.  Whatever is needed during a stressful and sad time.

  107. 107.

    lowtechcyclist

    @lowtechcyclist:

    So I went to the IRS website, and here’s what it said:

    Understanding Crowdfunding
    Crowdfunding is a method of raising money through websites by soliciting contributions from a large number of people. The contributions may be solicited to fund businesses, for charitable donations, or for gifts. In some cases, the money raised through crowdfunding is solicited by crowdfunding organizers on behalf of other people or businesses. In other cases, people establish crowdfunding campaigns to raise money for themselves or their businesses.
    Tax Treatment of Money Raised Through Crowdfunding
    Under federal tax law, gross income includes all income from whatever source derived unless it is specifically excluded from gross income by law. In most cases, property received as a gift is not includible in the gross income of the person receiving the gift.

    If a crowdfunding organizer solicits contributions on behalf of others, distributions of the money raised to the organizer may not be includible in the organizer’s gross income if the organizer further distributes the money raised to those for whom the crowdfunding campaign was organized.

    If crowdfunding contributions are made as a result of the contributors’ detached and disinterested generosity, and without the contributors receiving or expecting to receive anything in return, the amounts may be gifts and therefore may not be includible in the gross income of those for whom the campaign was organized. Contributions to crowdfunding campaigns are not necessarily a result of detached and disinterested generosity, and therefore may not be gifts. Additionally, contributions to crowdfunding campaigns by an employer to, or for the benefit of, an employee are generally includible in the employee’s gross income.

    Taxpayers may want to consult a trusted tax professional for information and advice regarding how to treat amounts received from crowdfunding campaigns.

    Remember, ‘disinterested’ doesn’t mean ‘not interested,’ it just means not having anything to gain or lose as a result of giving or not giving.

    And that’s where we are. Nobody here is going to get anything back from anyone in return for having given to Renee.  Nobody’s going to suffer any consequences if they don’t give.  We’re doing this because Ozark Hillbilly is someone we care about, we’re deeply saddened by his brother Dave’s death, and we realize Renee is in a tough situation and we want to help her out.  That’s all.

    So sure, both the GoFundMe site and the IRS page say to consult your tax professional, and I’m not one, but it’s hard for me to see that our contributions are anything but gifts.  They’d have qualified if they hadn’t been through GoFundMe, and the IRS guidance certainly reads to me like they’re still gifts anyway.

    https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/money-received-through-crowdfunding-may-be-taxable-taxpayers-should-understand-their-obligations-and-the-benefits-of-good-recordkeeping

    GoFundMe, while also urging people to check with their tax professional, adds:

    Donations made to personal GoFundMe fundraisers are generally considered to be “personal gifts” which, for the most part, are not taxed as income in the United States. Additionally, these donations are not tax deductible for donors.

    https://support.gofundme.com/hc/en-us/articles/204295498-Taxes-for-Organizers

  108. 108.

    OzarkHillbilly

    I was up in STL today visiting… Renee, of course. She is doing better, she no longer sees “it” all the time. Currently writing the obit. Yes, another 8 weeks is ridiculous, but this is N STL County and who knows the loads they deal with. I finally got home around about 4 pm and had to do chores for the next couple hours (chore #1: Talk to my wife. Chore #2: reassure Percy and Billy Jean that daddy was back. Chore #3: Take care of the chickens. Chore #4: get stung by a wasp in the greenhouse. Chore #5: Put ice on swelling hand. Chore #6: Harvest cabbage. Chore #7 Fuhgedaboudit.

    Anyway, I am here now and feeling very humbled. I can’t thank you all enough, even those who missed the cutoff point.

    I do want to say this: My brother committed suicide. There is no shame in that. We all have our limits. If you don’t know yours, it’s just because you’ve never been pushed to the brink and I am envious of you. He fought the demons of depression for 24,248 days. On the 249th, he reached his limit. As a fellow sufferer I have often considered under what circumstances I might choose a similar path. I have never come close. BUT, I can not fault my brother for doing what he did, and while I would not do it as he did, where he did, when he did, I can see myself doing it for different reasons, and different timing and different places. (no, I am not suicidal) Why? Because I shared a bedroom with him for the first 18 years of our lives and if anyone could know what he was dealing with, it was I, precisely because I refused to bear those burdens.

    I can’t speak for others, but I was not surprised. Saddened? Yes. Feeling guilty? Of course. I wasn’t there when he needed me the most. Hell’s bells my mother died 17 years ago and I still feel like it’s my fault because I asked her, “But Ma, what if it never gets better?”

    Currently, I am in a fucked up place. I’ll get thru it, just like I have before. I have Renee to give me inspiration, right?

    At any rate, to repeat myself, I am very humbled.

    thankyou all so ever much,
    yer ever lovin’ OzarkHillbilly,
    tom

  109. 109.

    JPL

    @OzarkHillbilly: It still hurts and it really hurts for those who fought to keep a loved one alive.   I’m so glad that our little pittance will help, but not rid you of the pain.

  110. 110.

    Noskilz

    So sorry for your loss – hopefully things go as well as they possibly can at such an awful time.

  111. 111.

    ghost cat

    @Elizabelle:

    Thank you Elizabelle. I’ve never gotten over her death, but I learned to live with her absence. I think this is the best you can hope for when someone you love dies.

  112. 112.

    ghost cat

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    Everything you said about Dave’s struggles, and your struggles and perspectives on suicide: me too, from my own experiences.

    Please let us know if there’s anything more we can do, down the line. Life may be dark and difficult for some time.

  113. 113.

    YY_Sima Qian

    Ozark, so sorry about your loss! I wish the best for you and your family.

    @WaterGirl: It would be great if you could reopen the link so I could chip in as well.

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