Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

People are weird.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

An unpunished coup is a training exercise.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Republicans in disarray!

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Joe Biden can go out like FDR, not by dying in office, but by crushing the fascists.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

The revolution will be supervised.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

You are here: Home / Elections 2024 / Saturday Evening Open Thread: The RFKlown Jr Show Is Irresistible (to Comedians)

Saturday Evening Open Thread: The RFKlown Jr Show Is Irresistible (to Comedians)

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Saturday Evening Open Thread: RFKlown Jr Show 3

National treasure Alexandra Petri, at the Washington Post — “I’m the worm that ate part of RFK Jr.’s brain, and I’m asking for your vote”: [gift link]

Good afternoon, fellow Americans, from the interior of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s brain. I am a parasitic worm. You might be wondering how I got here, or perhaps not! Most people who learned that a piece of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s brain was missing because a worm ate it responded with what I would characterize as “disappointment but not exactly surprise.”

Maybe you heard about me from the New York Times. Or possibly you got the news directly from the Kennedy campaign announcing that the worm that ate part of the candidate’s brain and then died in there would not affect his ability to serve as president. You know what they say: no such thing as bad publicity! Indeed, RFK Jr. has gone so far as to offer to eat five more brain worms. This is not the first time one of his statements have given me pause…

That is why, today, I have an announcement to make. I am eliminating the middle man and running for president myself. Yes, I am the worm that ate part of RFK Jr.’s brain, and I’m asking for your vote. I am the only candidate brave enough to say: I am a parasitic worm, and I don’t understand what is best for the country…

There are many issues on which people are basing their votes in this election. Bodily autonomy. Keeping our democracy a democracy. Do you want to know my stance on the issues? I will tell you: I have no stance! I am a worm who died no later than 2012. I do not possess higher brain functions, although I have attended several, at which I feasted.

And that is exactly the sort of plenty I promise you will enjoy under rule by worm. Just look at life under Leto II, God Emperor of Dune! Jabba the Hutt (an honorary worm) ran Tatooine with very few problems for a very long time until the intervention of a rude woman in a metal bikini…

RFK Jr. has justified his candidacy by saying that people are overwhelmingly frustrated with the options presented to them and need a third choice. Well, I see that third choice and raise you a fourth choice: a candidate you can trust not to have any brain worms because that candidate is a brain worm. I am also not currently under indictment for any reason.

So, good people of these United States, I exhort you: Ask not what this parasite can do for you. Ask what you can do for your parasite!

Saturday Evening Open Thread: RFKlown Jr Show

Saturday Evening Open Thread: RFKlown Jr Show 2

Reader Interactions

90Comments

  2. 2.

    Jeffro

    (PS: did you all know that Alexandra Petri once wrote an issue of She-Hulk?  true!  and it’s good, too!)

  4. 4.

    Baud

    The only medical issue that can be legitimately discussed are the fake medical issues related to Biden’s age.

  6. 6.

    MattF

    A lot of people sighed and tossed their Bingo cards into the trash when they heard this. Seriously.

  7. 7.

    Splitting Image

    @Raoul Paste:

    So a brain worm is controlling a human. Wasn’t this a Futurama episode?

    I was thinking about the Captain Marvel villain Mr. Mind, but he’s actually a caterpillar.

    (Although I guess that’s down to word usage. Caterpillars and RFK’s pet worm are both larvae.)

    He used to have his own little radio to speak to his minions. I’m not sure if RFK’s medical report mentioned one or not.

  8. 8.

    Ken

    I saw a roundup of twit reactions, and some of my favorites:

    The interesting part of the RFK brainworm story is that literally no one who read it said, “No way.”

    or

    Kristi Noem: I cannot believe I was stupid enough to tell people I murdered a puppy. What an unforced error.

    RFK Jr: Hold my dead brain worm.

    or

    Let me be the first to suggest there was a second worm.

    (to which the inevitable followup was, “Too soon?”)

  9. 9.

    JCJ

    @Raoul Paste:  I mentioned yesterday part of The Daily Show on Thursday – A correspondent (Desi Lydic) was covering the rfk Jr campaign and had had her brain taken over by worms.  The host asked if that meant she would be voting for Kennedy to which she replied, “No!  I have worms for brains, not shit for brains!”

  10. 10.

    piratedan

    @Raoul Paste: there was, the worms made Fry smarter and allowed him to master a musical instrument, that expressed his feelings for Leela.

  12. 12.

    Jay

    https://thetyee.ca/Opinion/2024/05/10/Doc-Steve-RFK-Jr-Brain-Eating-Worm-Parasite-Political-Circus/

    In 1970, Frank Zappa released an album called Weasels Ripped My Flesh. In 2024, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said, “That’s nothing….”

    RFK Jr.’s medical revelation is surely a first in American politics. We’ve been getting a lot of those firsts lately. Once upon a time, breakthroughs in U.S. politics tended to involve marginalized groups fighting through barriers of prejudice to claim their rightful place in the public sphere.

    Nowadays it’s more like: multiple felony charges, sexual assault verdicts, insurrections, dog-murdering and white supremacy need not be politically disqualifying. You shall overcome, thugs, half-wits and psychos! In this electoral climate, a brain-eating worm might feel right at home. Necessary, even.

    Perhaps brain parasites are even in line with our cultural moment. Season two of the HBO series The Last of Us is filming in Vancouver right now, continuing the story of people infected with a terrible parasitic invader that transforms them into predatory, ravening beasts. It might not seem like an obvious political persona. But TV shows have launched worse political careers — recall The Apprentice.

  14. 14.

    Leto

    The worm is running for President, with the fly from Pence’s head as VP. It’s the unity ticket the Third Way dipshits have been waiting for.

  16. 16.

    Almost Retired

    For reasons only a therapist could explain, I am listening to the Trump Rally.  He deftly moved from an anecdote heavy with references to Hannibal Lector to a recreation of an imaginary conversation with Emanuel Macron (using his best Inspector Closeau accent).

    ETA. Don’t worry.  I won’t post anything further about it.

  17. 17.

    dmsilev

    @Raoul Paste: There’s a bunch of examples beyond that one. Heinlein’s The Puppet Masters and Star Tre’ II both come to mind. An old trope in SF.

    Definitely the writers for this season of Politics are getting lazy. How long until the amnesia episode or the secret identical twin plot line?

  23. 23.

    MagdaInBlack

    @dmsilev: Colins Wilson’s ” The Mind Parasites” came to my mind first.

    Eta: altho come to think of it, they attach to brilliant people, so scratch that theory.

  24. 24.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Jay: ​
     

    Wow, that was quick. Did Manafort even last an entire Scaramucci unit? Did his tenure outlast a head of lettuce?

  31. 31.

    Leto

    Just look at life under Leto II, God Emperor of Dune!

    I’m glad basically nobody reads past book 1, because rule under the God Emperor was… not the best. I mean if you were a Fish Speaker, maybe; Museum Fremen? Eh. Everyone else? Ugh.

  33. 33.

    Almost Retired

    @dmsilev:  In my imaginary version of Trump’s conversation with Macron, he uses the only French phrase he knows or needs:  “J’ai fait caca dans mon pantalon.”

  34. 34.

    sab

    @Almost Retired: Long way from ” In your heart you know he’s right but in your gut you know he’s nuts” with Goldwater. They do not care at all that he is nuts. He always has been, but now he is way down the dementia path also. And they do not care. It says a lot that his wife is keeping the kid away from this circus.

  36. 36.

    Snarki, child of Loki

    @Ken:

    Let me be the first to suggest there was a second worm.

    I’m waiting for RFKjr to blame the tequila.

  38. 38.

    dmsilev

    @Leto: Jabba the Hutt wasn’t exactly an enlightened ruler either. Though, I admit, there are a bunch of Republicans I wouldn’t mind seeing fed to a Rancor. Except Ted Cruz. That’d be Cruelty To Rancors.

  41. 41.

    Almost Retired

    @MagdaInBlack:  Yup.  His rally speeches are mostly ridiculous. I think Leni Riefenstahl would have turned off the cameras 10 minutes in and left for the Biergarten.

  42. 42.

    Omnes Omnibus

    I went to my nephew’s college graduation today.  Despite we hear about college campuses, there were no demonstrations either for or against Palestine or Israel.*  There were a number of African students whose families were ecstatic about their new graduates and there was a moment that recognizes all the first generation college graduates in the class.  All in all, it was very nice.**

    *I tried to get my niece to start something, but she wouldn’t.

    **Unfortunately, my parents both have terrible colds so they weren’t able to be there.  They did watch a live stream though.

  43. 43.

    Anoniminous

    Wonder how much this is contributing to the on-going brain damage of our news media.
    My guess: A Lot​

  48. 48.

    trollhattan

    Video is cringe-larious. I’d love a version with “my Urkel” replacing my uncle.

  50. 50.

    Scout211

    That was 44 seconds of my life that I CAN’t GET BACK!!! Darn you, AL!

    Seriously, the way that the video was edited and the way his body language and voice sounded, it was 44 seconds of RFK,jr vomiting out “my uncle” a million times over and over.  Ewwwwwww!

  53. 53.

    Leto

    @dmsilev: Jabba’s rule lasted a blink of the eye compared to Leto’s. End result of Leto was humanity’s survival via the Golden Path, while the end result of Jabba was the gang getting back together to stop the Empire. Temporarily. We’ll call it a wash :p

    Also Ted Cruz is too much like a Gamorean (pig guards). Rancor already eats too much fatty meats, might as well toss Cruz into the Sarlaac Pit. Though a thousands years of digestion is still too lite a sentence for old Cancun Ted.

  54. 54.

    Steeplejack

    Speaking of clown shows, I got an email a while ago from a friend who is in Cape May, NJ, this weekend.

    We decided to show A–, who has never been there, the ’50s kitsch motels in Wildwood, NJ. So, after we pull off the Garden State Parkway exit, we start seeing all these red Trump lawn signs illegally put on both sides of the main road into Wildwood. We figure there must be one of his rallies. Yes, we were driving right into his rally on the beach in Wildwood, set for 5:00 p.m. It’s 4:40 p.m. as we drive in. Supposedly 20,000 people are going to show up.

    Lie! We drove right there—no traffic. A few random clusters of losers in Trump T-shirts, a few banners hanging from motel balconies. Never saw more than 20 people in a cluster (saw about four of those). If there were 800 people in the whole route and speech site total it would be a stretch. Had to be the worst turnout ever . . . and it’s a sunny, nice afternoon. Very windy on the beach, though. Hoping for a tsunami.

    Several sites on line are saying that the rally is attracting a “huge” crowd of thousands. This story has a short video at the top that is framed suspiciously tight for a “huge” crowd. You be the judge.

    I haven’t been able to find many crowd shots. Mostly it’s the usual tight shot on Trump with his sycophants behind him. Even C-SPAN is doing that.

  58. 58.

    Scout211

    Speaking of the wormy guy, he was interviewed a few days ago and issued a full-throated support for women to have autonomy over their own bodies.  The interviewer asked if he approved “full-term abortions” and RFK,jr said no one would want to do that but the woman should have the choice.  I was surprised and slightly impressed.  It surprised his running mate and all the media started blaring his support for full-term abortions, not that he issued his full support for choice.

    Then today he walked it back. Because of course he did.

    Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has changed his stance on abortion once again, saying he supports abortion up until a certain point rather than at full term.

    Following pressure from campaign staff, Kennedy announced late Friday that he was walking back his stance of supporting “full-term abortions” in a statement released on X. “Abortion has been a notoriously divisive issue in America, but actually I see an emerging consensus — abortion should be legal up until a certain number of weeks, and restricted thereafter,” he said.

    “Once the baby is viable outside the womb, it should have rights and it deserves society’s protection,” he added.

    Kennedy’s latest shake-up on where he stands on the divisive issue came after he said last week that he would allow women to have abortions at full term.

    During an interview with podcaster Sage Steele, a former ESPN host, Kennedy was asked what the limit should be for women to have an abortion. “Should there be a limit or are you saying all the way up to full term, a woman has a right to have an abortion?” Steele asked.

    Kennedy answered that he didn’t think anyone would want to do that at eight months of pregnancy, but abortion should be out of the hands of the government and in the hands of women.

  61. 61.

    Jackie

    @lowtechcyclist: The lettuce is still fresh in the crisper.

    I wonder if Manafort thinks his stepping away will halt further noisy reporters investigating him? HA!

  62. 62.

    Tony Jay

    We discussed this in an earlier thread and the general consensus was that The Worm never actually died, it merely transferred its mind into its host, where it serves as a frontman for the Eldritch Abominations to whom our screams and souls are as krill to the hungry whale.

    Don’t talk about it, though, or RFK3 will emerge from the shadows behind you and make like a wrinkle ringed with teeth for your delicious sweetmeats.

  63. 63.

    Redshift

    @MattF:

    I’m guessing that one of the few remaining professionals on TFG’s staff had an ‘up-close and personal’ conversation with Paul.

    The WaPo (and others) reported on his new grift involving Chinese companies (which involves the government, of course.) It makes sense a lot of Republicans would think that’s going to cause problems for using China as a boogeyman, but only for a normal party. The TFG GOP is so far from normal I wonder if there’s something else to it.

  64. 64.

    wjca

    @Steeplejack: A few random clusters of losers in Trump T-shirts, a few banners hanging from motel balconies. Never saw more than 20 people in a cluster (saw about four of those). If there were 800 people in the whole route and speech site total it would be a stretch. Had to be the worst turnout ever . . . and it’s a sunny, nice afternoon.

    This is bad news for Biden, because….

    Seriously, if the turnout for the rally was that poor, TIFG is going to be flipping out all weekend.  Maybe all week.  Adoration withdrawal can be as hard as from any other addiction.  Especially if the addict really, really is terrified of it.

  65. 65.

    karen gail

    @Leto: I stopped after “The Winds of Dune;” I enjoyed the way that Brian carried on but I got tired of the whole series along with the movie making of Dune.

  66. 66.

    KrackenJack

    I haven’t seen any mention of ‘The Night Gallery’ earwig episode from 1972. Now *that* was horrifying.

    It was actually titled “The Caterpillar” for some reason – probably related to the sophistication of US broadcast TV audiences.

  68. 68.

    geg6

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I went to my niece’s graduation today, too.  She was summa cum laude in nuclear medicine.  Tomorrow she is off to a week in Paris and Munich.  Oh, to be young again!

    ETA: No protests there either, despite a rather large number of students from the Middle East.

  72. 72.

    Jeffro

    This has Susie Wiles’ all-too-sensible fingerprints (or should I say, foot on the brakes) all over it:

    Manafort out in active role at RNC this summer

    Paul Manafort, the longtime political power broker who served as the 2016 chairman for Donald Trump’s presidential campaign, is no longer planning to help manage this summer’s Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, according to a person familiar with the situation.

    Manafort’s decision to step aside comes a day after The Washington Post reported that he had re-engaged in international consulting, including lending support to a media venture in China, after being pardoned by Trump for crimes related to money laundering and obstruction of justice.

    As in 2016, Manafort had offered to work free, meeting with Republicans in recent weeks about his role at the convention and traveling to Milwaukee late this week to meet with convention officials.

    Manafort, in a statement provided to the New York Times  by the Trump campaign, said that he no longer planned to assist convention efforts, saying he did not want to be a distraction. The statement said he had been offering “advice and suggestions” in a “volunteer” capacity but now planned to “stick to the sidelines” but support Trump’s election “every other way” he could.

    Yup, yup…”oopsie, our guy/the former president’s bestie/Putin’s cut-out/China’s bud needs to definitely NOT have a public role here” – SW

    It’s interesting because (victory lap) not a lot of folks in Normie-Land 2016 connected the dots when this happened…

    The Trump campaign worked behind the scenes last week to make sure the new Republican platform won’t call for giving weapons to Ukraine to fight Russian and rebel forces, contradicting the view of almost all Republican foreign policy leaders in Washington.

    Throughout the campaign, Trump has been dismissive of calls for supporting the Ukraine government as it fights an ongoing Russian-led intervention. Trump’s campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, worked as a lobbyist for the Russian-backed former Ukrainian president Viktor Yanukovych for more than a decade.

    Still, Republican delegates at last week’s national security committee platform meeting in Cleveland were surprised when the Trump campaign orchestrated a set of events to make sure that the GOP would not pledge to give Ukraine the weapons it has been asking for from the United States.

    “wait WHAT…we, the party of Reagan, are not gonna help the people resisting Russian aggression?” – GOP, summer of 2016

  74. 74.

    Jeffro

    @KrackenJack: in a few decades (or more!) (hopefully!) my kids will be going through my relatively small comic collection and go…”what in the actual f is this here for?”  And I will chuckle from the heavens.

    I should probably leave a note somewhere, explaining.  Or not.  =)

  76. 76.

    sab

    OT and venting here.

    Vanguard is possibly a great investment, unless somehow somewhere you want to get your money out. Then goodluck.

    Dad actually died, and left his kids as four beneficiaries.

    One of those silly noodles got married. Changed her name. Normal event. But when she got married and changed her name while having the same the same social security number, that flumoxed Vanguard.  They could not understand that a married beneficiary would get married much less change her name.

    That is where we are. One of my dad’s beneficiaries changed her name when she got married. And Vanguard cannot figure that out. So we cannot inherit his IRA until they figure it out, which seems beyond their comprehension

    I stand before them with my birth certificate, my marriage license, both my parents birth certificates and their marriage licenses.

    Theni realize none of this matters. None of this is rule of law,  They are just making up objections out if whole cloth, without facts.

  77. 77.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @NotMax:

    Maybe side effects from a medication?

    “Side effects may include itchy scalp, anal frothing, double vision, restless legs and an uncontrollable desire to listen to Trump’s voice.”

  78. 78.

    smith

    More about the lackluster rally in NJ. The fans started leaving while he was still speaking, and from what you can see as the camera pans, it looks like a couple hundred or so attendees at most. This is a story we’ve been seeing sporadically for the past year, and jibes nicely with the almost complete absence of his supporters at his trial.

  79. 79.

    sab

    @sab: I was expecting to keep my money there after RMDs. But after six weeks of disinformation, and various bad behavior,I cannot imagine keeping investments here.

    There are four of us. Investment  divided by four. But every, one of us meant to keep on board, but now  none of us do, Good job.

  80. 80.

    smith

    @sab: After my mother’s death I had to deal with four different financial institutions where she had investments. For every one of them there was at least one screwup comparable to what you’re dealing with. I came away wondering how it is that we routinely trust our money to any of them.

  82. 82.

    waspuppet

    RFK Jr.’s supporters thought they were being really clever when they used to say “Tell me why Biden should be re-elected without mentioning the name Donald Trump.”

    I saw someone on Xitter respond “Tell me why RFK Jr. should be elected president without mentioning the name Joe Biden.” I don’t hear them say this anymore.

  83. 83.

    Eyeroller

    @KrackenJack: The episode was based on a short story from 1931 called “Boomerang” and I don’t think either the author (Oscar Cook) or Rod Serling was trying to be entomologically accurate.

  84. 84.

    evodevo

    @sab: ​
      Not surprised…IRAs are tricky. My sister and I had a fun time trying to transfer Mother’s IRA after she passed away. My credit union had no idea how to process the request – judging from the process I had to go through, no one in the history of IRAs had ever done this – this was in 2003. It took at least a couple months of paperwork hassle to move it, with missteps all the way. It will get there eventually, but if any of you are planning on transferring the IRA elsewhere, I bet Vanguard doesn’t want to let loose of the cash and will dig in their heels all the way.

  86. 86.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    Brain worms, so we are at the Wrath of Khan moment of American politics.

  87. 87.

    Anne Laurie

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques: Brain worms, so we are at the Wrath of Khan moment of American politics.

    I was never a fan of The Captain, so when Wrath of Khan first came out, I did my best to irk my fellow Trekkies by saying that no brainworm would be able to conquer Kirk until one of them learned to work the zipper to his uniform pants.

  89. 89.

    Chris T.

    @sab: I have more-direct access to help inside Vanguard if you need it… not sure how to get it to you though.

  90. 90.

    SFAW

    @waspuppet: ​

    RFK Jr.’s supporters thought they were being really clever when they used to say “Tell me why Biden Hillary should be re-elected without mentioning Donald Trump or the Supreme Court.”

    In 2016, it was a “Dem” who uttered the as-modified quote.

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