Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

The rest of the comments were smacking Boebert like she was a piñata.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Democrats are back in array!

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

Republicans don’t trust women.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

When we show up, we win.

Somebody needs to explain to DeSantis that nobody needs to do anything to make him look bad.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

You are here: Home / Elections 2024 / Saturday Evening Open Thread: One Perfect Tweet

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78Comments

  1. 1.

    Almost Retired

    Dean Philips is human bacon grease (I like to incorporate themes from recent threads into the new ones).  Beyond parody.

  3. 3.

    Tony Jay

    Unmockable.

    Uniquely pristine in its crystalline ridiculousness. It’ll never breed, because there’ll never be another tweet of quite this particular species of whatintheactualfuck, so let’s just enjoy it now for what it is.

  5. 5.

    Almost Retired

    @craigie:   That was a guest op ed by the odious Scott Jennings, and not the editorial board.  They publish a piece by him every few months to get everyone’s blood pressure up.  The coverage by the regular columnists has been excellent.  Gotta stick up for my hometown paper.  But… yeah…, Jennings is a carbuncle on the ass of punditry.  Or something like that.

  10. 10.

    Suzanne

    Dean Philips should head on down to the store, pick out a barbecue or sriracha sauce of his choosing, and eat my whole entire ass.

  11. 11.

    Geminid

    @Jackie: He’s out of that race. I think the primary isn’t until August, but even if Phillips could still file for it- and I think it’s too late- he’d do well to come in 3rd.

  13. 13.

    VFX Lurker

    Open thread post…

    My husband’s green card expires later this year, so he created a USCIS account and filled out the renewal form online. Took less than 30 minutes. We would be done by now if the payment system (on a separate website) wasn’t offline for maintenance until 10PM Eastern time. The USCIS system gave him a link to bookmark so that he could pay/submit his form later today.

    We both hate filling out forms, so we were both impressed by how fast, smooth and easy the process was. Looking forward to paying and hitting “submit” later today so we can get this renewal ball rolling.

    I myself had to renew my USA passport via paper and snail mail earlier this week. A co-worker’s wife praised the online renewal option she used in 2022(?), which is currently paused. She filled out the form online, took a passport photo with her phone, and submitted payment online.

    Nice to see these things getting easier.

  17. 17.

    Chet Murthy

    @craigie: Nicely done!  This is the tell, isn’t it?  It’s like how every economic condition, whether good or bad, is a reason for lower taxes.  They have no theory of how the world works, or TFG’s popularity works, or whatever: they just have a conclusion, and back-ratlonalize to construct a justification for it.

  21. 21.

    HinTN

    @VFX Lurker:

    took a passport photo with her phone

    That’s impressive. I had to go to a professional photographer the last time I renewed. Why paused?

    ETA – Should have followed link.

  22. 22.

    David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch

    Phillips is reflecting what he hears at media cocktail parties in DC.

  24. 24.

    Chet Murthy

    @VFX Lurker: an online renewal method? Wow that’s great!  It’s too bad it got paused, I recently renewed mine and had to do it by mail.  I paid for expedited processing and it still took a couple of months – a lot of that delay was down to Dejoy’s post office.

  25. 25.

    Igop

    Sweet fancy moses. Dean fucking crapbag philips sees an opportunity for some tasty putin-esque geld. What an asshole.

  27. 27.

    dmsilev

    @Almost Retired: The Times regularly publishes Jonah Goldberg. So it’s really saying something that Jennings is probably their worst regular contributor.

  28. 28.

    Ihop

    Sweet fancy moses. Dean fucking bag of shit putin sucker says hi here I am needs cash.

  29. 29.

    dr. bloor

    Deano gonna get out of bed one morning soon, look in the mirror, and see Mike Lindell staring back at him.  What an idiot.

  31. 31.

    Anoniminous

    @TBone:

    tanzenden Stern = dancing Star

    Nietzsche uses ‘dancing’ as a trope A LOT in “Zarathustra.”  For example “tightrope walker” in German is “teiltanzer” or “rope dancer” which lends a whole new light on Zarathustra’s first discourse in the marketplace.  Basically anyone bogged down by Absolutes cannot have lightness of spirit and, so, cannot ‘dance.’

  32. 32.

    JaySinWA

    @craigie: That didn’t sound very LA Times like to me.

    It’s an opinion piece by

    Scott Jennings is a former special assistant to President George W. Bush and a senior CNN political commentator. @ScottJenningsKY

    So I am guessing an Op-Ed. OTOH they chose to publish it

    Or what @Almost Retired: said.

  35. 35.

    Sister Golden Bear

    It’s June 1st, so corporate marketing teams are RAINBOW EVERYTHING! mode — at least until the stroke of midnight July 1st, when everything.

    Except Target, who caved to the haters, offering a mere 62 Pride items down from around a thousand last year.

    So I went to Home Depot instead, and bought a shopping cart worth of bricks. Be gay, do crime, then brunch!

  39. 39.

    Almost Retired

    @dmsilev:  Yeah, the kids don’t know that Jonah Goldberg was once known as  doughy pantload.  He’s a never Trumper but that’s his only virtue.  All of his columns read the same to me:  “ok, that’s a reasonable take, and your next point is fair,” and then halfway down the page he goes off the rails with pre-Trump style wingnuttery.  Never Trumpism on the right is more of a stylistic objection than an objection to regressive policies.

  40. 40.

    Chief Oshkosh

    @trollhattan: Remember, the beer swiller who’s ass currently warms a bench in the USSC thinks that the Nixon pardon was one of the best actions ever taken by a President and that the results are loved by one and all.

  41. 41.

    sab

    @Sister Golden Bear: Planning to move in the next couple of months. Tell me which grudges to hold. I will. Not being snarky at all.

    Graduation week for a kid I like, half sister for my granddaughter. Covid gave them  bad start to school. They are making up, becoming exceptional kids.

  42. 42.

    Jackie

    If the report is true, this is too funny!

    The exact moment that the jury was reading its 34 felony convictions for Donald Trump, his close associate Kari Lake was reportedly served with a defamation lawsuit.

    Caroline Wren, senior adviser to Lake, who is herself a failed Arizona governor candidate and current GOP senate candidate, “broke the news” on Steve Bannon’s “War Room” show.

    “I’ll break a little news for you here, Steve. You know what happened as they were reading the guilty verdicts of Donald Trump? Kari Lake got served, her husband got served, Don Jr. got served, I got served in a defamation lawsuit by the election administrator in Arizona,” she said.

    She went on to question the timing of the developments.

    “You think they happened by chance to serve Kari Lake during the guilty verdict? No. This is all purposeful.”

    https://www.rawstory.com/trump-guilty-kari-lake-lawsuit-timing/

    Cue the Twilight Zone music… I wish I knew if Bannon asked Wren how on earth anybody knew the exact time TCFG’s verdict would be read AND that it would be guilty on all counts?🤦🏼‍♀️

    I hope the subpoenas are true! Ha!

  44. 44.

    dmsilev

    @Jackie: Well, CLEARLY all of the members of the conspiracy have a shared Google Calendar that they use to coordinate such things.

  45. 45.

    realbtl

    @Jackie: ​
      This is the crazy wing here. A simple explanation is the servers were in place with top secret receivers and waiting for the signal from the Jewish space laser.

  46. 46.

    brendancalling

    As I mentioned a few posts back, NPR’s “Morning Edition”—funded in part by the donations they always beg for—saw fit to have Hugh Hewitt on to react.

    The media is incorrigible and detestable. One of the cats at LGM bets it’s a 30% chance Hochul does it too.

  47. 47.

    mrmoshpotato

    Is that a sarcastic tweet?

    Dean, fly to Moscow and suck Putin’s asshole!

  48. 48.

    Geminid

    @Sister Golden Bear: A Golden Oldie (to the tune of the sappy Rod McKuen song):

    “Dean, Dean, you’re wrong, full of jive.

    Drop out of your half-baked scheme.

    And run, if you will, to the nearest landfill.

    Get lost, Don’t Pass Go, barmy Dean.

  49. 49.

    geg6

    @sab:

    I am currently in the middle of a move, not the easiest thing with a guy who seems to be experiencing a cognitive decline.  I can’t get him to focus on the important stuff and we only have 3 days left until the movers are here.  Ugh.  And don’t get me started on how difficult some utilities make it to transfer service.

    The only good thing lately is Cheetolini’s predicament and the agita among his cult members.  Delicious!

  51. 51.

    JaySinWA

    @realbtl: Yes, I’m pretty sure Bannon wouldn’t need to ask, it would be wink, wink, nudge, nudge if he did.

    The deep state runs deep, even across state lines. Gotta bring back that old 10th amendment religion

    ETA re conspiracy to serve in AZ while NY reads verdicts

    ETA 2 So much of the conviction denialism implies a vast conspiracy between state and federal prosecutors as well as judges.

  52. 52.

    sab

    I am leaving a neighborhood I love, but my stepson who grew up here is a better representative of us Also too,we won’t be far. Just a different  neighborhood.

  54. 54.

    geg6

    @Sister Golden Bear:

    For real.  I popped over there during a packing break today and there was a post about where commenters there learned of LGM.  There were a whole bunch of comments that it was BJ that clued them.  Then that devolved into how bad BJ is, what with being so gloomy, uninteresting and insular.  I literally LOLed.

  55. 55.

    VFX Lurker

    @sab:

    YIKES!! Some stuff is serious.

    Possibly remember who brung you to the dance.

    No argument here. That’s why we’re renewing both documents as early as we can!

    I am still happy to see the process made easier.

  57. 57.

    trnc

    How do elected officials not understand that pardons should be requested and accompanied by a statement of remorse and contrition, not handed out like candy just for warm and fuzzy feelgoodz?

  58. 58.

    Melancholy Jaques

    @craigie:

    For clarity, that headline was for an Op-Ed by wing-nut Scott Jennings.

    The headline for the “news” report was the standard, bullshit, horse race “How Trump’s conviction will – and won’t – impact his 2024 chances.” As if anyone can know that in 48 hour

    @Almost Retired:

    I see you already clarified. I recently dumped WaPo. Are you recommending the LA Times for general news?

  60. 60.

    Harrison Wesley

    @Almost Retired: He was indeed the Doughy One – until Diaper Don came along and showed us what a real Doughy Pantload was….

    Something that has amused me for a while was learning that Ben Domenech (aka Mr. Meghan McCain) plagiarized Jonah Golderg, which is why I’ve referred to him ever since as Fauxy Pantload.

  61. 61.

    hitchhiker

    I wonder if Dean also thinks that all of trump’s fines should be forgiven for the good of the country? Maybe we should demonstrate our remorse for having expected him to obey laws by forgiving all the fines AND handing over twice the fined amount for him to do with as he pleases, just to make amends.

    The painfully obvious flaw in Dean’s “thinking” is that we the people can never do enough to show trump how much we love him. It’s impossible.

    I’m being serious here. trump was given the deep, wide honor of being elected once, and he immediately started whining that the media was not respectful of his inauguration crowd size. If Dean wants to volunteer to give everything he’s got to donald, cool.

    The rest of us would prefer that he obeys the law and pays the price when he doesn’t.

  63. 63.

    Hob

    @brendancalling:

    One of the cats at LGM bets it’s a 30% chance Hochul does it too

    I can never figure out what people think they mean when they say things like “it’s a 30% chance” there. When weather forecasters give probabilities, that’s based on quantitative data being graphed and interpreted to show that when we have starting conditions like X, then 30 times out of 100 we can expect the result to be within range Y. There’s nothing like that when you’re talking about a specific rare political situation. This will happen either one time or zero times.

    I mean, I know that what they’re really just saying is (based on vibes) that if Hochul does it they’ll be a little surprised, but not too surprised. The goal, as with so much commentary, is to emphasize that the speaker is savvy and has thought of stuff. But they could easily just say something like “I think it’s not terribly likely, but it’s not impossible.” Saying “30%” adds nothing to that except fake sciencey-ness.

  64. 64.

    Hob

    @Chief Oshkosh: I’m not surprised that Kavanaugh thinks that, but Dean Phillips was supposedly running as a Democrat. Is he actually stupid enough to think that most Democratic voters were cool with the Nixon pardon? Or is this just a step toward his eventual pivot to being a “the party left me!” Republican.

  65. 65.

    Jeffro

    I have a question (not sure if it is for our snooze media, trumpies, or both): y’all act like absolutely EVERYTHING, to include felony convictions, is good for Donald trump.

    Is ANYTHING, ever, BAD for trump?  Is there anything at all that could slow this Adderall-addled, orange spray-tanned, babbling idiot?  Is it even possible for something – some turn of events, some issue, some policy (or lack thereof) – to be BAD for trump?

  67. 67.

    Stuart Frasier

    @brendancalling: Hochul said this about the verdict:

    “Justice was served. In the state of New York, if you commit a crime, and there’s evidence to demonstrate that you have met the standards of being arrested and brought to a trial and a jury of your peers considers all the evidence, then their verdict must hold. And that’s exactly how the rule of law has always prevailed in our country. And this is no different. So I just want to make sure everyone knows our rule is no one is above the law. It’s a commonly used phrase, but this is more evidence that holds in America and in our state than anything else I can think of. No one is above the law.”

    Not a big fan of Hochul, but she’s not pardoning Trump.

  68. 68.

    David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch

    @Sister Golden Bear: ​
      problem is Houhul issued at statement after the verdict saying, “Today’s verdict reaffirms that no one is above the law.”

  70. 70.

    Jeffro

    @Jackie: I legit have no idea…”trump ‘dies’, according to liberal media, appears to still be in lead for November”?

    I mean it’s the most obvious thing: if there’s no possible way for ANYTHING to damage your dear leader’s chances of winning an election…you’re in a cult.

  72. 72.

    Quadrillipede

    “If they can convict an ex-president for committing felonies, they can convict any white man for committing felonies, no matter how much money he stole…”

    ↑↑ what Republicans won’t† say out loud.

    (†) although with the current lot, and their lack of indoor decorum, maybe shouldn’t is a better modal than won’t…

  74. 74.

    O. Felix Culpa

    Dean Phillips has served up the platonic ideal of a DougJBalloon tweet. He should now go away forever, so as not to sully perfection.

  76. 76.

    Soprano2

    @geg6: I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine moving at this point. It would be so confusing for my husband to be somewhere else. Sometimes I wish we had moved to a one level house 10 years ago.

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