Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

Trump’s legal defense is going to be a dumpster fire inside a clown car on a derailing train.

The US Supreme Court is on the ballot in november.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

with the Kraken taking a plea, the Cheese stands alone.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Fuck that bum, let’s go Joe!

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

I’m more Christian than these people and I’m an atheist.

Putin dreamed of ending NATO, and now it’s Finnish-ed.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Ramblin’ Man

Ramblin’ Man

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…I say what would happen if the boat sank from its weight and you’re in the boat and you have this tremendously powerful battery and the battery is now underwater and there’s a shark that’s approximately 10 yards over there. By the way, a lot of shark attacks lately. You notice that? A lot of shark. I watched some guys justifying it today. Well, they weren’t really that angry. They bit off the young ladies leg because of the fact that they were, they were not hungry, but they misunderstood what, who she was. These people are cray. He said there’s no problem with sharks they just didn’t really understand a young woman swimming. Now really got decimated and other people too. A lot of shark attacks. So I said, so there’s a shark 10 yards away from the boat. 10 yards over here. Do I get electrocuted if the boat is sinking, water goes over the battery, the boat is sinking. Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted or do I jump over by the shark and not get electrocuted because, I will tell you, he didnt know the answer. He said, you know, nobody’s ever asked that question. I said, I think it’s a good question. I think there’s a lot of electric current coming through that water, but you know what I’d do if there was a shark or you get electrocuted? I’ll take electrocution every single time. I’m not getting near the shark.

Oh my gosh, that is even worse than Herschel Walker when he was running against Raphael Warnock for Senate in 2022.  Walker wanted to be a werewolf not a vampire.  trump would rather be electrocuted than eaten by a shark.  This is their best!

Totally open thread.

Reader Interactions

100Comments

  2. 2.

    NutmegAgain

    Geeze, that song knocks me all the way back to high school. Oh, the ’70s. Decade that brought us head to toe polyester. Come to think of it, TFG is pretty ’70s too. Plastic, ugly, and cheap.

  3. 3.

    Carlo Graziani

    I hope there’s audio. Coupled with a Benny Hill Show Theme musical accompaniment, it would make a great attack ad.

    Or perhaps The Twilight Zone theme music…

  4. 4.

    Starfish

    I am going to listen to the song and not engage with the fact that this person has a strong chance of becoming president again.

  7. 7.

    zhena gogolia

    Walker wanted to be a werewolf not a vampire. trump would rather be electrocuted than eaten by a shark.

    I hate to say it, but . . .
    И то и другое было бы ничего
    Por qué no los dos?

  8. 8.

    kindness

    The MSM will bothsides it and say Biden doesn’t care about sharks but Trump does.

  9. 9.

    Melancholy Jaques

    I’ve been up close with dementia. My father died of it. That shit isn’t dementia, that’s just a stupid motherfucker running his mouth.

  14. 14.

    Gloria DryGarden

    Women choose the bear every time. Guessing who this is, I choose Both for him: first he’s electrocuted, then he falls off the boat and becomes shark dinner. To atone for even thinking about that young lady’s leg.

    On a more practical note, if this is a. the stuff of his daydreaming stream of consciousness and b. he just speaks it out, he must be in a pretty dark nightmarish place, which can’t be fun. I’m not sure where this is coming out, what the context is, but it sounds like a bad trip. And b. terrible impulse control. Who wants to go into any of his bad dreams with him?

    um, yikes. I hope when my mom got lost in her dementia this isn’t the kind of mental space she had to endure. At least she didn’t take anyone out with her, it was just the caregivers and family near her who got to ride along.

    I had a fever of 103 for a week once, and the fever dreams were nightmarish and twisted like this. I was every character in the movie the piano, and it was my fault. There were 8 of me, and I remembered that officially there was supposedly only one. Once the fever subsided, I returned to ordinary normal reality unharmed, and Mentally clear.

    what will it take, to get this unhinged man off the streets and out of our media?

  20. 20.

    mrmoshpotato

    What the fuck?  That’s all I gotta say.

    Added – oh, and I didn’t read more than a few words of the orange shitstain’s insanity.

  21. 21.

    Ken

    @Jackie: Wait, this was recent? He was babbling about the electric batteries on boats months ago. You’re telling me he was in Las Vegas and talking about shark attacks?

  22. 22.

    Ohio Mom

    A question for those more technically adroit than I am:

    Until recently, I could click on the show me and I would go straight to that tweet. Now, I am deposited in a feed of many tweets and there is no chance of me finding the tweet (in this case, the Jack E. Smith tweet) (which is why I am thankful the rest of the tweet was included in the post).

    Likewise, I have bookmarked many of my favorite tweeters (Cole, Josh Marshall, etc.) and clicking on the bookmark no longer takes me straight to that person’s Twitter page. Again, I am deposited in a thread. It maybe a thread of people I follow but I hate having everyone mish-mashed together. It’s confusing. I want to be immersed in one person’s voice/perspective at a time.

    Anybody know how I can fix this or is it yet another evil thing Evil Elon did?

  23. 23.

    Gloria DryGarden

    @Baud: well, no, it was a spectacular case of viral pneumonia. In my 30s. The low grade fever continued another 3 weeks. I lost a lot of work.

    I had a sword going into my lower lungs, and I didn’t care. It was my first time w pneumonia. I thought then, this is how older people due from pneumonia.  Because you don’t care, there’s no fight left.

  27. 27.

    Gloria DryGarden

    @Baud: well, no, it was a spectacular case of viral pneumonia. In my 30s. The low grade fever continued another 3 weeks. I lost a lot of work.

    I had a sword going into my lower lungs, and I didn’t care. It was my first time w pneumonia. I thought then, this is how older people die from pneumonia.  Because you don’t care, there’s no fight left.

     

    @Ken: there are sharks in vegas, just a different kind. I think he’s got enough mafia type connections/ methods, he’d know a shark when he sees one…

    game recognizes game. Then again, would he even be capable of metaphoric thoughts?

  28. 28.

    Mr. Bemused Senior

    @Ken:  The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.

    That is a great movie, a Dr. Seuss book brought to life.

    “Is it atomic?”

  32. 32.

    Ohio Mom

    @Melancholy Jaques: Yeah, I have my doubts about the dementia claim too, even though I have scant experience with people with the condition. Trump can still be on top of things.

    Now there are weird aspects to his cognitive functioning but whatever it is, he is cogent sometimes. Maybe it’s mind-altering substances, something else I have little experience with (except for alcohol).

    ETA: Soprano 2 corrects me.

  33. 33.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Jackie:

    If there’s any video or audio, Morning Joe will have it front and center tomorrow a.m. – guaranteed!

    [Sets alarm for 5:59 a.m. EDT]

  35. 35.

    PaulB

    What’s even more bizarre is that this wasn’t “my crazy uncle at Thanksgiving.” This was a campaign stop, where he is trying to give people a reason to vote for him. And this was the best he could do?!

    It’s interesting just how much he depends on the teleprompter. (It was broken at this rally.)

  38. 38.

    Jackie

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    [Sets alarm for 5:59 a.m. EDT]

    I’m PDT, but I wake about that time for the bathroom and then stay awake approx 45 mins or so. So I always have MJ DVR’d 😁

  40. 40.

    Ohio Mom

    @PaulB: You can tell Trump depends on the teleprompter because that’s one of the accusations MAGAs make about Biden, that he can’t function without a teleprompter.

    You can file this under, Every Accusation is a Confession, cross referenced to Defense mechanisms, psychological projection.

  41. 41.

    Carlo Graziani

    @Ohio Mom: i agree that talk of dementia creates the wrong context for understanding what the hell he’s on about (although it is useful for combating “Joe Is Old” drivel).

    Imagine that your not-terribly-bright but not demented Fox News-watching uncle, accustomed to running his mouth at Thanksgiving dinners, were given a public speaking gig in front of people prepped to agree with him, and had to improvise a monologue (he has no talent for composition or oratory). And that he had to do it several times, in front of different audiences. What would he sound like?

    Yeah, like that.

  42. 42.

    Ken

    @PaulB: It’s interesting just how much he depends on the teleprompter. (It was broken at this rally.)

    I don’t suppose you know who provided the teleprompter? I’d like to send them a nice box of chocolates.

  43. 43.

    Elizabelle

    Fwiw, there were two shark attacks four miles apart in Florida yesterday.  Three females bitten, the first rather severely.  Helicoptered to a trauma center, where the remainder of her left hand was amputated.  Also bites to her midsection.

    Authorities are wondering if it could be the same shark.

    Walton County, northwest Florida on the Gulf Coast up near Destin and Pensacola.

    The dotard probably heard about it.  Or maybe he recycled the sharks from an earlier spiel.  Wonder what he was saying to GOP wealthy at California fundraiser.  Did they get remarks about marine predators too?

  44. 44.

    ascap_scab

    Trump commercial: I’m going to use electric cars to solve the illegal shark problem!

    News Media: What is Joe Biden doing to solve the shark problem?

    Karine Jean-Pierre: Huh, what?

    News Media: Biden too senile to remain President.

  46. 46.

    smith

    @PaulB: It’s interesting just how much he depends on the teleprompter. (It was broken at this rally.)

    Here’s hoping he can be goaded into actually debating. No teleprompter, no adoring crowds, no edits before it’s shown, and hopefully no softball questions. Normie America might gain some insight into the vital national issue of electrified sharks.

  47. 47.

    Ken

    The scientific world (or close enough) weighs in.

    Regarding whether he would prefer to be in a boat with the above candidate or in the water with a shark, Dr. Shiffman replied “I choose the shark. Every time.” Dr. Thaler concurs.

  48. 48.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    I watched this on twitter about 45 minutes ago. There is a guy named Aaron Rupar who shows clips of orange menace’s ramblings so you don’t have to.

  51. 51.

    RaflW

    Yeah, it doesn’t come off as dementia. Dunno what to call what his tenuous grip on sentence construction is, and it’s in some ways still what he’s always done, but more disjointed and definitely more weird.

    I think he’s isolated. I think he’s so surrounded by yes men and women that he doesn’t really have conversations. It’s like his brain can only do what he probably does at Mar a Lago, hop from table to table lasting only a few moments at each, and so when he has to freewheel w/o prompter for many minutes in a row, he’s on a highwire without a net.

    And no one who assists him will ever tell him he’s incoherent. They’d get some quick very coherent rage and probably a “You’re fired.”

    But reflecting on the no longer NDA-ed Apprentice producer’s recent piece, even back when the show was new, he’d have to be briefed, coached, and have lots of his parts re-shot to make it look as if he had his shit together. Live at a mic for 60 or 90 mins, there’s no re-shoot.

  52. 52.

    hueyplong

    Gotta say I’m encouraged by the fact that Trump himself has joined me in musing on ways he might shuffle off this mortal coil prior to November.

    Make it so, Shitgibbon.

  55. 55.

    Jackie

    TCFG for once speaks honestly:

    “I don’t want anybody going on me. We need every voter. I don’t care about you. I just want your vote.”

    — Donald Trump, quoted by The Independent, talking to supporters at a rally in which temperatures were above 100 degrees.

  57. 57.

    David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch

    Dementia or effects of syphilis?

    why not both.

  58. 58.

    hueyplong

    @Jackie: Seems like they worship a harsh god. The concept of not caring about them tends to include not loving them.

  60. 60.

    Rudi666

    Heat-related deaths have been increasing in the U.S., with approximately 1,602 occurring in 2021, 1,722 in 2022, and 2,302 in 2023.

    The U.S. had the most reported unprovoked shark bites (36) – two were fatal – in 2023, a year in which shark bites and fatal shark attacks increased slightly worldwide, according to the University of Florida’s International Shark Attack File.

    MAGAt’s are 1000 times more likely to dies a tRump rallies.

  61. 61.

    beef

    Makes me furious to see this.  It was my friend Lauren who died in that shark attack.  She was brilliant — free ride to private college — and I can safely say she’d have chosen to haunt his dumb ass if she got the option.

  62. 62.

    Frankensteinbeck

    This doesn’t sound like the forgetfulness of Alzheimers, but it sure sounds like the rambling loss of coherence and filter that you get with cognitive decline.

  66. 66.

    Trivia Man

    @Frankensteinbeck: He is praised for his “quick wit” so he tries to show off his “wide” knowledge at the drop of a hat. I can see inside  his head: global warming makes oil company  donors  mad … electric vehicles are anti oil … what do i know about electric? (Cue heavy battery story) … it has a boat and boats are in water … trigger news story yesterday of shark attacks

  67. 67.

    Ruckus

    @Melancholy Jaques:

    A stupid, elderly, deranged egomaniac who believes that he is the world’s greatest human being.

    However. He may be on the early stage of dementia. His age, his personality, his mental capability which has never been all that and a box of kleenex, his ego – which is about half his weight, what we’ve seen over the last year or so, lean towards it. It does not present the same exact same way for every person that gets there. And yes, I also have dealt with it in family members.

    Of course do understand that actual reality does not exist in his world, it never has. His world is a make believe world, in which the axis of the earth is a pole that is stuck up his nether region, which is why he thinks the world revolves around him. Dementia for him is not the same as in others. As it often is different for different humans.

  69. 69.

    Another Scott

    @Ken: TCFFG doesn’t like anything to do with electricity and ships.

    Remember that he wanted the Navy to go back to steam catapults for the new carriers (from 2019):

    President Donald Trump again called to install steam catapults on future aircraft carriers, in a move experts say would cost billions of dollars and reduce the capital ships’ capabilities.

    Trump, who has been critical of the Ford-class carriers’ new electromagnetic aircraft launch system (EMALS) system, said he prefers the steam-powered catapults found on the older Nimitz-class CVNs. He again called on the Navy to revert back to the old technology while speaking to naval forces in Japan over the Memorial Day weekend.

    Tuesday, while visiting sailors and Marines aboard amphibious assault ship USS Wasp (LHD-1), Trump faulted EMALS for causing delays and cost overruns on the first-in-class USS Gerald R. Ford (CVN-78).

    “We’re spending all that money on electric, and nobody knows what it’s going to be like in bad conditions,” Trump said in his speech. “I’m going to just put out an order, we’re going to use steam.”

    […]

    (That’s what his earlier babbling about water and (electro)magnets was probably about, also too.)

    He’s way, way over his head, but he thinks he knows more than everyone else. As always. And he’s stuck in the past – continuing to recycle nonsense from 5+ years ago.

    His brain is broken.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  71. 71.

    Another Scott

    @Ohio Mom: Melon broke Twitter for people who don’t have accounts.

    If you replace “twitter.com” (or “x.com”) in the URL with “nitter.poast.org”, then you can see the tweet and any replies, etc., and it works mostly like the way twitter used to.

    Note that nitter can be slow and cranky at times – you may have to hit refresh a time or two.

    Hope this helps!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  73. 73.

    Wapiti

    I’m guessing a building inspector once looked closely at the electrical work in one of now-convicted felon Trump’s buildings and that cost a pretty penny to fix.

  74. 74.

    Ruckus

    @Another Scott:

    His brain is broken. 

    Yes it is and always has been. However it is now broken more than it was. That happens sometimes to old farts. His being an old turd, it follows that it is broken worse than it has been in his younger days. And it is worse.

  75. 75.

    cain

    @Ohio Mom: I think the fact that he does this tangent and then gets back to what he was talking about shows this particular case isn’t dementia.

    It’s just some stupid shit. WTF was that hot mess..?

  77. 77.

    JaySinWA

    The shark phobia is back in play.

    I remember this from days gone by from Stormy Daniels:

    The strangest thing about that night — this was the best thing ever. You could see the television from the little dining room table and he was watching Shark Week and he was watching a special about the U.S.S. something and it sank and it was like the worst shark attack in history. He is obsessed with sharks. Terrified of sharks. He was like, “I donate to all these charities and I would never donate to any charity that helps sharks. I hope all the sharks die.” He was like riveted. He was like obsessed. It’s so strange, I know …

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/the-time-stormy-daniels-exposed-trump-s-shark-phobia/ar-AA1nHGfl

  78. 78.

    lgerard

    What made trump’s crazy diatribe even funnier is what cane right before as he was recounting his conversation with some boat builder in South Carolina

    “So I said let me ask you a question and he said nobody ever asked this question, it must  because of because of MIT, my relationship with MIT…very smart”

    Yes, his relationship with MIT pays off again

  80. 80.

    hitchhiker

    I hope his dreams are filled with sharks suddenly appearing in his pools and bathtubs everywhere he goes. I hope the dream sharks are biting him with big bloody sharp teeth, and he wakes up whimpering.

    I hope the voters emphatically show him the door in a few months. End of story, except for the trials that will then take place in spite of his best efforts to weasel out of them. Then he can go to jail, or hell, whichever comes first.

  83. 83.

    Tony Jay

      NYT EDITORIAL OPINION

    Sophisticated urbanites may scoff at Trump’s passion for the topic, but in this Nebraska diner, where the Shark v Battery debate burns as hot as any college football rivalry, independent voters of all persuasions finally feel seen.

  86. 86.

    Etv13

    Thanks, sab, for the advice about pee pads.  Bentley has been using them and not leaving puddles all over the house, and Mr. Etv13 is much calmer and happier.

  88. 88.

    Gloria DryGarden

    @beef: that is devastating. I’m sorry for your loss.

    i expect most of us feel a healthy fear of sharks.

  89. 89.

    Chris Johnson

    @Jackie: The thing that got him there… the motivation for telling the adoring crowd that he doesn’t care about them or like them… is that he believes, more or less correctly, that they like him because he is COOL and SUPERIOR. He doesn’t have a mental model of them being human beings, you see, so they’re narcissist-serving machines completely in his sway, and as he decompensates and is pushed harder into doubling down as himself, he pushes harder on his worldview and directly treats people in that ‘say the quiet part out loud’ way.

    Hope there’s more of it. It’s the truth coming out. He says it because it’s what he’s always thought, and he’s lost the ability to filter. Quote him. While it will impress the most utterly lost authoritarian followers, Americans tend to not respond positively to that messaging and have to be flattered, which Trump is no longer capable of doing.

  90. 90.

    lowtechcyclist

    @kalakal: ​
     

    I just hope he escapes the shark and runs into an electric eel

    When you get shocked by an eel / like it ain’t no big deal / that’s a moray!

    (Morays aren’t electric eels, but I wasn’t gonna let that get in the way!)

  92. 92.

    RevRick

    @Trivia Man: I think you have hit the nail on the head here. He’s a stupid, vicious man speaking to an audience with a third-grade level verbal comprehension, so he does these weird connect-the-dots shticks. Sharks bad, EVs bad = which horror story will those libtards make you live in?
    It doesn’t have to make an ounce of sense, because it’s all about whipping up the crowd’s emotions.
    So the translation is: If we let the Democrats have their way, they will devour your world.

  93. 93.

    Sid

    @Tony Jay: The Biden campaign should dig up some video of Trump’s rambling diatribe and have an ongoing poll- shark or electricity- throughout the campaign.

  94. 94.

    Kay

    Trump supporters love his random association speeches. They think it’s “authentic” and “real”

    They simply turn any negative about him into a positive because they’re his “fans”, not constituents. Don’t look to politics to explain Trump – look to celebrity culture. That’s what it is. I’ve come to think 90% of the commentary on Trump makes this category error.

  96. 96.

    3Sice

    I’d guess someone that is hitting the wall after decades of amphetamine abuse. I find the excuse of a  failed teleprompter unlikely. He can no longer follow along and hit his punchlines and points of emphasis. He was always an exercise in style over substance, and without that, there isn’t anything there. So the crowds are getting bored and restless, and fewer are showing up.

  97. 97.

    Sid

    @Kay: I’ve discovered (through face-to-face conversation) that one thing his acolytes are left speechless by is calling him a ‘whiny fucking baby of a man’ and pointing out that my dad would have slapped me if I’d have still been acting like Trump even before I got out of elementary school.

  98. 98.

    wjca

    @Ken:

    Regarding whether he would prefer to be in a boat with the above candidate or in the water with a shark, Dr. Shiffman replied “I choose the shark. Every time.” Dr. Thaler concurs.

    Damn fools.  Stay in the boat and throw him overboard.

  99. 99.

    H-Bob

    Maybe Trump’s unsolicited attacks on sharks are because he is in the pocket of Big Orca, so they can continue to attack boats!   13 dimensional chess!

  100. 100.

    Lacuna Synecdoche

    Donald Trump via WaterGirl @ Top:

    Do I get electrocuted if the boat is sinking, water goes over the battery, the boat is sinking. Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted or do I jump over by the shark and not get electrocuted because, I will tell you, he didnt know the answer. He said, you know, nobody’s ever asked that question.

    How the guy actually responded:

    Y’know, I honestly don’t know how to answer that. No one before you has ever asked me such a stupid. fucking. question.

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