I spent a lot of time in the sun today out on the tractor- about six hours (four 32 ounce Yetis of water and about six albums on spotify- not different yetis I’m not fucking rich I refilled the same one over and over again), and while I got a little sunburned even with several applications of sunscreen, it was still a great day. I just love being out there alone and with absolutely nothing on my mind but cutting the grass.
The other day I was chatting with Anne Laurie, and after she and I exchanged pleasantries she asked “You ever get around to treating that adhd” which is precisely how a conversation between two people with no filter and thick skin should start. Anne Laurie was quick to observe this in me as far back as the late aughts when we were at a meetup somewhere and I was still drinking. At any rate, the answer, of course, is no. I’ll get around to it or I won’t. I’ve made it this far.
In all seriousness, I don’t think I want to and at some level I am scared to. I know there would be some big benefits. I know it’s not normal to go downstairs to wash dishes, start washing them, see the trash if full, change the bag, say to yourself if I don’t do this now I won’t do it until it is a problem, start to take it out, see the compost bin, grab that, take the trash out, dump the compost, decide the compost bin needs to be hosed out, realize the hose is at the front of the house, go to disconnect it and decide to water the plants on the front because you don’t know when you will bring the hose back out front, then disconnect the house and go through the house to the back and hook up the hose, hose out the compost bin, decide that while the hose is out and running you should water the garden, do that, get sidetracked and prune the tomatoes with the hose running, finish watering, and realize you should probably unclog that corner gutter while the hose is out, go get the ladder from the shed, unclog the gutter, put the ladder away, turn the hose off, go back inside to finish the dishes, realize you are two dirty to clean dishes, go upstairs to shower, decide you should scrub the toilet before showering, scrub the toilet, get in the shower, get dressed, go back downstairs, finish the dishes, see your phone on the counter and holy fuck how is it five already you just went downstairs at two to do some dishes and now you have 8 missed calls and 13 missed texts.
Again. I know this is not normal. I’ve seen the look on Joelle’s face when she comes outside the Tempe house and sees the entire contents of the shed and carport in the driveway being hosed down when two hours ago I said I would be right back I was just going to take the recycling to the street.
And I know it is not normal to know you have to write something due in two weeks and to sit and think about it and write it all out in your head in between stressing about having not started on it yet and doing that to yourself until about 10 o’clock on a Sunday night and then sitting down and writing for three hours straight and being done. You can proof it in the morning.
So yes, I understand that treating it could have some great benefits to my executive function. But what will I lose for a gain I do not value? Will all the fascinating conversations in my head go away? Will I no longer be able to get in a car and just drive for hours with the music on blast and lots of things I have to pay attention to and threats to assess to occupy me as my mind gets to relax and go into a flow state and I can just think and daydream? Or like I do when I am on the tractor- the noise of the mower and the noise cancelling headphones with loud music and the need to really focus on the lines as I cut, and then I am just free to daydream and write blog posts in my head often times blogposts I won’t write for six months or a year?
It’s just a risk with very little in the way of upside for reward. I’ll stay like I am. If it were damaging relationships or my work, I would address it. Another point for Joelle- she gets me and is ok with it.
Another thing- I wish everyone could experience music the way I do. Maybe they do? I don’t know. But I just get the worlds best feeling from ASMR. Just these rolling waves of tingly warmth going down my spine and my arms and legs that I can only compare to the first time you do ecstasy (and not that molly crap). I don’t know why I do have these effects, and I don’t know if I was born this way or rewired my brain dropping acid and eating mushrooms from age 13-19, but I sure am grateful for it. It just feels so good.
And it’s not a particular genre of music- it’s something in specific songs- the squeak of the guitar chords and Miley Cyrus’s inhalation on You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go with Johnzo West, the harmonizing between Prince and Appolonia on Take Me With You, the “WOO HOO” and chorus on The Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani, basically anything that Natalie Merchant sings, etc. There is no genre or type in which I do not experience it, and again, is just so great. This cool tingly blast down your body that feels like a big hug and all the hairs on your arms and legs and neck stand up.
Would I lose that if I treated adhd? Fuck that.
The other day I was tweeting over on Elon Musk’s hellsite that one of the things I really, really like about Tim Walz is he reminds me of the men I looked up to when I was a kid and the kind of guy I wanted to be. This was all back before talk radio and Fox News and angry facebook groups and incel youtube videos and then ultimate shock of a black President radicalized all these guys into become absolute fucking nutters.
I grew up around tons of them- blue collar guys who worked in the mine or at the mill or at the Koppers petrochemical plant or farmed or were mechanics. Veterans, almost all of them. The guys who coached little league and were cub scout leaders and taught you how to fish and were on the volunteer fire department. The guys who put plows on their tractors and plowed the side roads and Post Office and who volunteered to be the dunkee at the town picnic to raise money for the church and who go to the church spaghetti dinner even though the food sucks and they weren’t a member of the church anyway. Guys who had a chainsaw in the back of their farm use truck or the light truck beater they used to drive to the mill, so that when a storm knocked down trees they could listen on the scanner and go help clear debris. The guys who every time they cut their grass also cut the elderly neighbor’s and refused any money. Yeah they all had guns- they hunted or needed them for varmints on the farm. But they were not gun nuts.
I don’t think they were all racist scumbags at heart. I don’t want to believe it. It would suck too much.
Regardless, that is what Tim Walz reminds me of and why I like him so much. You just know he was the best platoon sergeant his platoon ever had. They still talk about him like my buddies talk about our 1SGT and later longest serving Sergeant Major of the Army Kenneth Preston.
That’s it for me. I got cantaloupe to eat and I am going to rewatch Deadpool tonight and Deadpool 2 tomorrow night and see if Breyana wants to go to the theater this weekend. Behave.
Baud
ADHD sounds super productive to me.
At least now I know I don’t have it.
ssdd
Saw Deadpool and Wolverine Sunday. It’s a blast. Enjoy!
NotMax
Is Bethany a one hose town?
::rimshot::
Mr. Bemused Senior
John, if Joelle is good with it what’s the problem? I mean, you finally got back to the dishes didn’t you?
I may not be the best source of advice but you seem OK to me.
West of the Rockies
Six hours on a tractor… you must have a huge property. But happy riding.
dmsilev
@West of the Rockies: Or a really slow tractor.
B1naryS3rf
Happy Cole is best Cole.
Hope it spreads.
Chacal Charles Calthrop
Deadpool & Wolverine was ok but kind of numbing, more like a DC Jack Snyder movie than a Marvel film. It’s still funny, though, and I think you’ll appreciate Dogpool, who is a real dog and not CGI.
thanks for checking in with us!
HinTN
Behave? Shit!
In other news, gumbo will be served when the rice is done.
Yes, I like Walz.
NotMax
@West of the Rockies
Reminded of a very old joke. Hear the Visitor’s voice in a Mel Brooksian 2000-year-old man accent. Truncated version:
Texas rancher: How big is my spread? I’ll have you know I can get in my car at one end, drive from sunup until sundown and not reach the other boundary of my ranch.
Visitor: Oy vey, I once had a car like that.
UncleEbeneezer
I can’t stand ASMR videos. Certain sounds like chewing/crunching, water pouring over coffee grounds etc., that are amplified in ASMR videos, drive me absolutely nuts. That said, your description of feeling music is great. That’s very much how I feel. The thing I feel most strongly is that moment when a big build-up resolves to chord that your ear really wants to hear. It can be major or minor but it must be different from what was just being played (preferably for a long, drawn-out build up). I also love just a cranked guitar chord through an amp, loud enough that you can feel it in your gut, or a killer back-beat from a drum kit. These are some of the reasons I’m a musician. I’ve always been able to completely lose myself in the emotion of music in ways that I know many people don’t. I’ve known and even dated people who were just kinda Meh about music. Like they like it, but they don’t seem to really feel it deep in their soul. My sister is like that. I feel so sorry for them because they are truly missing out one of, if not the greatest, joy of life.
Ohio Mom
I am agnostic on this topic for Cole, who appears to be functioning quite well at this point in his life, if sometimes haphazardly for short bursts.
There are advantages to ADHD, including lots of energy to get things done and the ability to hyperfocus on the task at hand.
One thing to remember about attention meds is that kick in and then leave one’s system several hours later. They are not say, like SSRIs for depression that can take weeks to be fully effective and then have to be tapered off. You know very quickly if the attention med is making things better for you and if it is not, before the end of the day, the experiment is over.
In the autism mom business, I’ve met a lot of moms who are hesitant to give their kids various sorts of psychotropic medicine. Over and over, I’ve given this advice, you can try something and drop it if you don’t like it. feel like I’ve dusted this speech off for this comment thread.
Scout211
John, you don’t need to treat your ADHD with medication. You can find a therapist or life coach to help you develop strategies to manage it without medication.
They can teach you how to manage the parts that are not helping you in your life* without changing the parts that are positive in your life. Win-win.
Just a thought.
*like making big changes in your life, not impulsively.
Kelly
My Dad had me mow our elderly neighbor lady’s lawn when I mowed ours. I instructed to refuse any payment. She gave me cookies.
Princess
My question is: is your adhd negatively affecting the quality of your life? Is it causing problems in your relationships with those you care about? Is it interfering with your ability to do your work in a problematic way? Is it causing you low self-esteem — do you find yourself berating yourself for being a failure at X or not able to get your act together? If so, I’d treat it. If not, maybe don’t bother?
Percysowner
We had a distressing situation this week. As I have mentioned, my 6 year old grandson is trans. He plays with an 8 year old girl down the street (S). S has a 10 year brother (R) who had a same age friend (F) over. F decided to tell my grandson that he wasn’t a boy, he couldn’t be a boy because he doesn’t have a penis and proceeded to expose himself to the kids to show my grandson why he couldn’t be a boy. He also choked S. The parents weren’t supervising because they pretty much expected kids that age don’t need constant supervision. My grandson came home and told his mom and dad. My kids finally got in touch with S’s mom who had no idea what was going on. F was sent home as soon as the mom found out what he had done and won’t be back any time soon. R was shocked and doesn’t know if he can be friends with F any longer.
Fortunately my grandson is already seeing a counselor to help him deal with gender issues and anything else he needs help with. He has an appointment Monday with the counselor, so he can talk it through then. He has talked to us, of course, but he’s keeping it in, at least with me.
The sad part is this seems to be partly because F missed one (maybe more) doses of his (unnamed) medication. His mom had sent his afternoon dose over with him and S’s mom HAD given him meds an hour or so before this happened, so I don’t know when the missing dose occurred. I feel for the kid, who obviously needs lots of help. OTOH, keeping my grandson safe is priority one.
It can be a scary world out there.
dexwood
Nice post, but buy a second hose, man.
SpaceUnit
Completely off-topic but I just want to say that Olympic surfing is the worst sport ever.
It’s just two guys bobbing around in the ocean for thirty minutes. Maybe twelve seconds of actual surfing.
John Cole
@NotMax: This is a fucking top shelf comment right here.
Ohio Mom
@West of the Rockies: It’s not Cole’s property, he just has a regular-sized yard. I be am thinking this is his summer job while he waits for school to start up again.
John Cole
@SpaceUnit: This is how I feel about the America’s Cup.
SpaceUnit
@John Cole:
I’d rather watch some dude fish from a pier.
KatKapCC
@Percysowner: Holy hell. I am so incredibly sorry that happened to your grandson. And look, I get that F is a kid, so calling the cops may not be the right move, but something needs to happen, because that kind of behavior at such a young age portends only worse behavior as the kid gets older. A missed dose or two of meds should not be the only thing between “normal” and “sexual assault and battery on a young child”, even for someone who is also a child.
TheflipPsyd
I’ve always been ambivalent about meds for adult ADHD. Funnily enough I’m not ambivalent about any other meds. But when someone has lived most of their life with it and without meds, I think the side effects would be really hard. And, honestly, you sound more like a parent than anything else, specifically myself and every mom I’ve ever met. You start one job, put something away, find something out of place and the next thing you know you’re cleaning out three closets and two bedrooms.
But I digress. Every person I’ve worked with who has been prescribed meds for ADHD as adults has difficulty taking it. The meds tend to tranquilize a bit and many people say to me they just don’t feel like themselves on the meds. Most end up taking the meds when they need them — if there is a project or something they need to focus on. And the good thing is, ADHD meds do not need to ” build up” to therapeutic levels in your blood. So, they allow for a person to have the downtime and be themselves.
But overall, if the ADHD isn’t significantly impacting your life — which it isn’t — then don’t be so hard on yourself. Sounds like you accept yourself as is, and truthfully, that’s the thing most people want and search for.
hueyplong
If Cole has 6 hours of riding mower lawn, that fucking willow tree really IS too close to the house.
zhena gogolia
@Baud: I certainly don’t have it!
Martin
@Baud: For me it was anxiety. I told my psychiatrist I was afraid of medication because while too much anxiety made me a mass unable to do anything, a bit of anxiety made me productive as hell and I didn’t want that part to go away.
zhena gogolia
@West of the Rockies: I think he’s doing playing fields or something.
delphinium
@Ohio Mom: Yeah, several years ago saw an interview with a pilot who had it but he didn’t want to take any medication cause he felt that he would lose his focus and energy level so found ways to work with it instead.
On a somewhat related note, have heard some musicians say that being really into music helped them, if not completely overcome mental health issues, at least made them more capable of handling it.
Kelly
Mrs Kelly and I are resting after hosting 10 year old granddaughter and 12 year old grandson for a week. Taught granddaughter to skip stones. Mrs Kelly and I taught grandson the roll a kayak.
Mrs Kelly is a better coach. She’s better at explaining the steps. I’m better at turning the steps into a smooth motion, mainly because I’m big enough to flip him right side up when he missed. Wastes time and energy dragging a boat to the shore and dumping the water out. His feet are bigger than mine. I’m still 6 inches taller and 60 lbs heavier.
Percysowner
@KatKapCC: I agree but I’m just a bystander to some extent. I really hope F gets help, because, you are right, this is an indication that really bad things can happen if someone doesn’t intervene. I don’t know if the police are the right route, although everyone is white, middle class so there is less danger of turning to them.
VFX Lurker
I saw a free screening last weekend. I enjoyed it so much I bought tickets for IMAX this weekend. Took me a few days to realize that it was the first MCU film with a queer lead. (Fox made the first two Deadpool films, not Disney).
I completely missed that until someone pointed it out to me a few days later.
Anne Laurie
As I remember our conversation, Cole, I asked when you *realized* you were ADHD… because it seemed to me (diagnosed in my late 30s) like you had the same neurodivergence just from reading your posts.
“Dealing with” one’s brain chemistry is, yes, a big lift. (And an ongoing process.) But the rewards are worth it, because you (we!) waste too much time beating ourselves up for not being normal. Doesn’t have to be drugs (although talking to a medical specialist is a good idea), it can just be rearranging one’s schedule to maximize “useful” executive-function time & minimize wheel-spinning.
(I *did* take ritalin when I was working in a — quite toxic — office environment, for money. But since I’m officially retired, I can just sleep during prime time & live my best crepuscular life.)
Percysowner
@TheflipPsyd: I have the same doubts about adult ADHD. I am and have always been a terrible, terrible housekeeper and complete slob. Recently, my daughter said she thinks she might be ADHD. I said I didn’t worry about that because I have taken all those online tests and the ONLY thing about me that could be ADHD is being a slob. She said “maybe you are masking”. I’ve decided that who knows, maybe I am. OTOH I’m 71 and I don’t care that much to find out.
Omnes Omnibus
Okay, while we are on these kinds of things, I think it is important to remember what it was like to be a child and the simple joy that you could take in almost anything. Also the sense of wonder. I try to stay in touch with that and, while I can’t fully recreate it, approaching things that way, just trying to be open to something awesome, can make every thing you do just a little better.
Kelly
Tom Waits album Looking for the Heart of a Saturday Night song “Please call me Baby”
If I exorcise my devils
Well my angels may leave too
When they leave they’re so hard to find
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNJJE7Ci014&ab_channel=TomWaits
BR
I don’t know if this is a newly unearthed audio clip of Vance, but it’s bad:
https://bsky.app/profile/fleerultra.bsky.social/post/3kyoyqnjw5z2t
Edit: it appears to be new:
https://bsky.app/profile/mirandayaver.bsky.social/post/3kyoyo7vi622b
M31
lol Newsweek is reporting Alito is thinking about retirement, and while I have serious doubts he’d do it during a Dem administration, at least it’s evidence he’s miserable
lol maybe someone should whisper to him he better retire now, in order to make sure he’s not replaced by a *shudder* woman
there’s a bitter little pissant that deserves to suffer
Baud
@BR:
In other words, it is about whether a women should be forced to bring a child to term.
Jeffro
@ssdd: I saw it yesterday and it’s a hoot! a lot of the reviews noted that it (somehow) straightens out the MCU but other than reinforcing the idea that there’s a Marvel Multiverse (of which the MCU, and the previous Fox Marvel movies, and everything else) are a part, I’m not sure about that.
still a blast, though! Gambit – LOL
Nelle
We have been having severe storms, one after another. One took down our biggest tree in the front yard, right over the neighbor’s driveway where he usually parks his pricey truck. But that night, he parked on the other side. Pure miracle, he says. Anyway, the chainsaws came out and the neighbors had the tree cut up before the next storm hit. They were all careful not to insult my husband but also not to have him, at 80 years, running the equipment. (That was the Tuesday night storm.)
One neighbor, whose husband is not handy (he’s also a judge), sent her 17 y.o. out to help with branches. “He needs to be part of a neighborhood group of guys doing the good work,” she said.
We just drove by the some results of the Wednesday night storm. Huge trees down, some still on and in roofs. People out working together.
I would like the storms to go away, but I’ve missed seeing the camraderie of people working together. Iowa is getting just a little too much of it, of late.
cain
John I have ADHD and it’s always a balance. Yes, if you take ADHD medication some part of you, the creative parts of you might go down. The balance I have is a 5mg of amphetamines. It’s just enough for my brain to not know I’m medicating myself. My brain is very aware if I’m trying to change the status quo and will active work to fuck it up.
But it makes a world of difference. I can explain things, I can communicate better.
KatKapCC
@BR: SOMEHOW INCONVENIENT.
I………..I need to break something. Preferably over Vance’s head.
Holy effing hell.
Sister Golden Bear
FWIW from someone who just started meds for life-long diagnosed ADHD… ADHD meds aren’t like doing on meds for something like depression or diabetes, where it’s a full-time thing. I started with a 4-hour dose and then switched to an 8-hour dose — which I take once per day in the morning. Don’t necessarily have to even take it every day if I don’t feel like it, and some days I don’t (e.g. lazy weekends). Haven’t really encountered any of the downsides you’re worried about—although obviously YMMV—but one approach would be the reserve it for times when you feel like you need focus.
hueyplong
@BR: So rape is not merely “inconvenient,” it’s so trivial as to be “somehow inconvenient.” Kind of makes you think the victim doesn’t count at all. You’d better discern his angle on this if he himself were a rapist.
Jeffro
OT but I think all of the main VP candidates are going to be there in Philly in a show of unity for the ticket, regardless of whoever is selected.
I’m seeing that Shapiro and Beshear have already canceled their weekend plans…Walz?
ETA: literally a minute ago I saw that Walz will be there as well! DEMOCRATIC JUSTICE LEAGUE IN EFFECT!!!
zhena gogolia
@Nelle: Ugh. I’m sorry.
delphinium
Going back to the music part of the post, I like it when a singer’s voice cracks on occasion, just makes it more real to me.
As for harmonies, always liked this song by Local Natives (there is also a more upbeat version). Am also into this song by Fontaines D.C featuring a couple big inhales.
Ohio Mom
@KatKapCC: F is clearly under a doctor’s care, else he wouldn’t be medicated. Someone (his parents) should be taking notes on his behavior for the doctor, who may decide based on this information that more or different medication is needed.
I’m not sure what else could be done. Reporting people with mental health conditions to the police is very, very rarely a good idea. Half of all people killed by police have a mental condition or disability.
Those deaths include people who had the cops called on them. Better to call for an ambulance and have the person delivered to the emergency room if they are in crisis.
Villago Delenda Est
WW II produced a lot of veterans; they were much more common when both you, John, and I were kids. It was hard to coax them to share their wartime experiences, because for most of them it was all too harrowing, no mater if they were on the front or just to the rear.
zhena gogolia
@hueyplong: His running mate is.
Martin
@M31: Send the commander of Seal Team 6 to walk up and whisper to him that he better retire now.
Obvious Russian Troll
I’m probably in the same boat with ADHD. My wife has been on ADHD meds for years and helps run ADHD seminars and I’ve never gotten around to getting diagnosed. I’ve been giving it serious thought in the last couple of weeks, though.
There are other conditions that have symptoms that overlap with ADHD, though, so I suspect it’s probably worth getting an actual diagnosis. I am pretty goddamn sure I’m not neurotypical, for what that’s worth.
hueyplong
@zhena gogolia: No surprise in these quarters, but this shit is well beyond “weird” and is, instead, full-on repugnant.
TheflipPsyd
@Percysowner: I agree. I’ve met many a kid and teen who have found the meds really helpful, especially in school settings. But there are a lot of strengths as well, especially the creativity that can happen. I think we should appreciate those aspects and not be in such a rush to try to eliminate them completely. And unfortunately too often kids grow up feeling less than and not normal and focus on that rather than embracing the positives and learning how to use the positives to deal with the downsides.
KatKapCC
@Jeffro: She should make them all run a Ninja Warrior course and give the slot to the winner.
KatKapCC
@Ohio Mom: Right, and I agree with a kid that young, police may do more harm than good. But this child exposed himself and physically attacked a younger kid. He could easily have killed him. That needs more than just a med adjustment.
wjca
ADHD appears to have some downsides. But would OCD be better?
I don’t envy anyone struggling with either.
Villago Delenda Est
@Jeffro: If Robert Downey Jr, Mark Ruffalo, the two Chrises, Jeremy Renner, and Scarlet Johansson show up it will be The Avengers, not those DC pretenders to greatness.
SomeRandomGuy
Hey, there. I know ADHD meds, because I initially thought my soul-destroying fatigue was due to ADHD causing me to “lose focus” and “get bored” so I felt like I was falling asleep.
Can taking an ADHD med cause a loss of creativity? I’ve never heard anyone say or suggest that it did. Can it cause a loss of *spontaneity*? Yes, but… is your spontaneity the kind that sometimes ends up with you calling your second-best friend to bail you out?
(Per Jeff Foxworthy, your *best* friend is in the cell with you, saying “I didn’t think she looked like no cop.”)
To me, it feels like it expands my “working memory” to the point that I can hold the task in my head, and work on it, at the same time. For example, if I’m writing a ten paragraph e-mail to a customer, I kinda-remember what I’ve already said, and what’s still to be said. I’m not constantly going back and re-checking myself.
Almost all of the meds I’ve taken wore off within a day, so if I wanted to know if I was losing something, I skipped a day’s doses. Some, like Provigil, or Wellbutrin, have continuous effect. Provigil made me feel like life was worth living, so, of course, it caused a rash.
(Any drug that can cause an allergic reaction, like a rash, can kill you in horrible ways.)
I found Clonidine to be *very* good for relaxing, but my fluctuating BP made that tricky for me. There is a patch version.
Finally: remember, I have no idea if I have ADHD or not. I have CFS, which shares symptoms. So, for me, Provigil was a really big Biden deal, but, an ultimate flop – that terminology seems unusually hurtful, this election. Anyway: I’m not trying to treat ADHD, so my experiences might be different. But: remember, you’re an adult. You have the words to use to explain to a doc you hate a drug, even if you don’t quite know why.
If you look into the objections of people who hate ADHD drugs, their complaints are usually pointed at children, and, I’ll grant them this much: children don’t always have the life experience to explain why a drug sucks ass. But *you* do. You don’t need your parents to notice that it sucks ass, you can just *say* so, and the doctor will understand.
(NB: if you want a long, heated argument, find the me of 10 or 15 years ago, and say that medicating ADHD in childhood is universally bad. You’ll probably learn some new vocabulary, in the middle of extremely emotionally evocative language suggesting your parents were a Republican coconut tree and a couch, for starters. Remember: in pain all my life, my parents didn’t even *try* to figure it out.)
Seriously, John, you’re going to be just fine if you try out ADHD meds. You won’t lose anything, except (if you go on Wellbutrin) maybe your celibacy. I’m not saying you don’t want to be *careful* about throwing hands-full of pills at yourself – I’m saying that trying out ADHD meds won’t be like that. You’ll probably try 5mg of Ritalin or Adderall, oral administration. No snorting or butt-chugging please.
(Yes, Ritalin, and Adderall, are both water soluble, and possibly able to be administered through a retention enema. Speak to your proctologist before trying something so unbelievably stupid as… never mind.)
Where was I? Right: proper use of ADHD meds will be gentle, and quickly reversible. I hate to feel a bit Jesse Pinkman, but, I honestly do recommend a trial to any adult who thinks they might help. It will answer some of your questions conclusively, in my humble opinion.
Martin
@Jeffro: It’s kind of the only way to keep this a secret. If only one of them was there, someone would track the charter and figure out who it was.
They should set up a boardroom so Harris can sit there looking overly serious and point at one and say in her Hello, Senator Bennett voice “You’re hired!”
Ohio Mom
One tell of Cole’s brain difference is his wild youth and substance abuse. He might not have drank if he had been medicated; some people with ADHD aren’t as fortunate and totally upend their lives with substances.
But all that is water over the dam, those days are behind Cole. As with so many things, dealing with a differently wired brain is much more doable if you are smart, and Cole is very smart.
suzanne
Spawn the Elder has ADHD. It took some time to figure out the right meds. He is very happy to be on meds for it. He once described his ADHD as feeling like his mind was a sieve and all the contents just would run out, and he was always struggling to keep the sand together, and failing.
Another Scott
Keep on keeping on, JC.
Meanwhile, speaking of doing the work…
(via TimothyDSnyder)
Cheers,
Scott.
lamh47
Ah…I think John said he hasn’t seen Deadpool 3 yet, and it going right?
So um…there is a bit of a spoiler posted upthread. I’m sure they didn’t mean to, but uh as someone who has already seen it (and kinda already knew most of the spoiler info) that one mention is kinda a big one /
Sister Golden Bear
@Percysowner: I’m so sorry. Sending love to your grandson.
SomeRandomGuy
@SomeRandomGuy: Um. When I said “you might lose your celibacy” I only meant “Wellbutrin can improve libido” – I am not suggesting you’re celibate, or Harem Consenting. I’m just saying, some ADHD meds help in ways one might not appreciate until afterward.
lamh47
I got nothing on ADHD, but I am not a fan of ASMR…it actually kinda urks me.
Music as a way of keeping my mind focused, now I can get behind that.
Since I work from home now, it helps to sometime just have my Itunes music on shuffle and just sing along as I do my work. So I def feel ya on the music.
CaseyL
If you’re able to live as you want to, and you’re not making disastrously bad decisions, I’d say avoid the meds.
They give but they also take away, and what they take away (in my experience) is a capacity for pure joy, for spontaneity, and a solid sense of who you are.
Ohio Mom
@KatKapCC: We can hope he is also seeing a therapist of some kind.
He’s not the only kid out there with um, issues, and treatment of childhood pyschiatric conditions have advanced.
But yeah, I wouldn’t let him near my kid.
lamh47
As for Walz, I’ll admit, I never heard of him before now. But a number of people I know from Minnesota, love that guy and I can definitely see why.
Of all the veep-stakes lists, he’s miss the most joyful of all the folks I’ve seen so far.
sab
OT : we are moving tomorrow. I.e. Two Men and a Truck arrive for the second load. Last week two men and a truck was One Man, One Woman and a Boy. They were great. And our dew driveway is a stinker. Very narrow with low hanging various utility lines.
The generator guys ripped off the corner eaves troughs as they left, so of course it rained the next two days. No basement flooding.
Since tomorrow is big furniture move day, we caught most of the cats tonight. Two boys and a girl. Locked them in the basement with food, water, bedding and two litter boxes.
Came back laterr and old boy was hiding behind my rows of silk flowers. He thought they were a hedge. Young boy was slinking around timidly. Brave girl was hiding behind the furnace.
I wish Steelejack was around to hear that the bravest cat was Dobby. He had always followed Dobby’s path into normal safe cat life.
Still two cats to catch. Otherwise we will leave a note on the door for my stepson : “you have a new cat we couldn’t catch. She likes Fancy Feast for breakfast and Cat Chow for snacks.”
catclub
@John Cole: I am not sure if you are out of date on Americas Cup sailboats. They are all on hydroplanes now and incredibly fast and exciting.
Less appealing parts:
They are also dangerous for the sailors, especially when things optimized to minimum weight break. Formula 1 racing expensive,…. or more.
Bulgakov
This speaks to me in a profound way
“So yes, I understand that treating it could have some great benefits to my executive function. But what will I lose for a gain I do not value?”
It is a conundrum.
TheflipPsyd
@Percysowner: I am so sorry that happened to your grandson. And I’m glad he has someone to talk to. Often the way the situation is handled can have more of an impact on the effect on the child. So be supportive, let him talk about it, and be careful that the upset you are feeling isn’t communicated to him. It was traumatizing and scary for him but your response was right on and supportive, which is often the most critical piece
I happen to work for a state children’s department. I don’t know the guidelines of your particular state but if you have any further concerns or feel that S’s parents are not responsive enough, the child abuse line (usually called childline) may be a good place to call. They may not assign an investigator to the case but would be able to tell you what steps are available to you.
JCJ
Your description made me think if this article from the Denver Art Museum about Wassily Kandinsky
https://www.denverartmuseum.org/en/blog/wassily-kandinskys-symphony-colors
unrelatedwaffle
My mom has untreated ADHD, as did my grandmother, my aunt, and my father- and sister-in-law. My cousin has treated ADHD. I have three close friends with it, two untreated, one treated. My husband went untreated for ten years and recently finally started treatment.
Hear me when I say: you cannot even imagine how your life will improve with effective treatment right now, and what you are missing out on being untreated. FWIW, not only can you tell your provider if you feel the meds make you “dull” (and try another dose or another med), but you will by necessity have times of day when the stuff has worn off and you’ll feel like you do right now.
I have seen the improvements in going from untreated ADHD to treated ADHD. It’s not just about memory or focus, but about emotional regulation, not feeling so overwhelmed by things, being able to appreciate the small things in life because you don’t feel so “antsy” all the time. It’s having better and deeper conversations with people you love because you can somehow hear them more easily.
Anyway, you can always stop meds if you hate it, so why not try?
lamh47
@Jeffro:
I like this as a show of Dem unity! All join her on stage maybe?
Also, gotta say, the Harris campaign is so damn good at this so far.
I don’t know if it just the history making of her candidacy, or just that the team knows its way around social media which the youfs so much enjoy.
While also still working with the older voters, women voters, minority voters of all ages.
Martin
@wjca: My son has both. Both quite mild. The OCD, even mild, he says is worse – like hands down.
Mild ADD is annoying and not always that unwelcome. In my son’s case he over-focuses and struggles to shift to other tasks, which was pretty much the recipe to becoming an engineer – he’d find a project and spend the next 11 straight hours working on it. For people who under-focus, there’s a lot less upside. But it’s not debilitating for a lot of people and with medication even less so.
But the OCD puts thoughts in his head he can’t push out. It’s really hard to live with. The medication causes it to happen less often and to let him not act on it, but when it happens in a meeting it’s completely debilitating – he can’t think of anything else enough to participate. He describes it as the ADD being like a speed bump he has to work around, the OCD is like a wall he can’t get past.
sab
@suzanne: Isn’t ADHD a side effect of undealtwith gender dysphoreia (sic: haven’t a clue on spelling.) I.e. kids stuck in the wrong gender spend way too much psychological energy on gender issues that they should be spending on mere adolescence issues.?
KatKapCC
@Ohio Mom: I would also worry that F himself has been sexually abused, because much of the time when kids display behavior like that, it’s a trauma response.
Ohio Mom
ADHD meds help with Executive Functioning and the best description of EF I’ve ever heard is this:
Executive functioning includes time management, working memory, focus, initiating tasks, planning, metacognotion, persistence, and a bunch of other things that allow you to get things done.
Executive functioning is like an orchestra conductor. You can have the world’s greatest musicians but without a conductor, they aren’t going to sound all that great. Some instruments will be too loud or too soft, some will be playing at different tempos, some will come in too early or too late, etc.
You’d be better off with average musicians and a great conductor.
The instruments are all the aspects of executive function, the conductor is executive function.
MomSense
@Percysowner:
I’m so sorry that happened to your grandson.
suzanne
@sab: That’s possibly true. He has bipolar II, as well. As he reported, he didn’t start experiencing gender dysphoria until puberty. But he exhibited ADHD much earlier than that, starting in first grade. Alternating between lack of focus and hyperfocus.
He recently had a struggle in getting his ADHD meds due to a pharmacy/insurance issue. So he was trying to resolve this annoying issue, which required focus and follow-through….. yet he had been without Adderall for a few days at that point. Dystopian.
UncleEbeneezer
@Another Scott: Her first episode should be nothing but reaming the PSA bros for their role in backstabbing Biden. Of course she won’t, but she should.
Ohio Mom
@KatKapCC: That’s a very reasonable concern.
I’m going to hope that this kid’s teachers are also on the case. But if his parents aren’t on board (like they can’t adhere consistently to med schedule), there’s a limit to what the teachers and health professionals can accomplish.
MomSense
@Jeffro:
That’s exactly what I said would happen the other day.
Avengers Assemble!
Sister Golden Bear
A couple other ADHD thoughts… squirrel! I don’t look at my ADHD as a disorder, rather it’s just that my brain works differently than neurotypical folks and that comes with both upsides and downsides. FWIW, I suspect one reason ADHD folks tend to be more creative, is that you have to figure out workarounds living in the NT world. Just like I’ve had to be creative in adapting to being a left-hander living in a right-handed world.
I definitely was able to compensate and mask for decades—hell my jobby-job is all about organizing stuff—but the trade-off was it took a helluva lot of extra effort. Which was a major factor in the intense burnout I’m still recovering from. It was also a major factor in feeling “depressed” most of my life. Not to say there wasn’t some genuine depression going on—gender dysphoria and childhood emotional neglect will do that. But most of my “depression” was feeling overwhelmed, without the self-criticism that’s characteristic of depression. ADHD meds have reduced the overwhelmed feeling so much that I’ve stopped both of my anti-depression meds, which is great because the latter had some major side effects.
Haven’t really had any of the side effects from ADHD meds, especially of the sort Cole is worried about. For me it’s a relief to be able to have more executive function when I need it. It’s not 100%. My house looks like hoarders due to accumulated clutter, and I’ve realized that I’m still not making headway despite my best attempts with my newly-found focus—so it’s time to work an professional organizer. FWIW, I do find that combining a ADHD meds with a micro-dose of sativa edibles has really help. The ADHD meds give me the focus needed and sativa gets me the motivation to get going, especially for things I’ve been avoiding, like decluttering.
Mr. Bemused Senior
@Ohio Mom: music means a lot to me, too. Since this is on topic, regarding conductors I offer
Benjamin Zander on the transformative power of classical music
Percysowner
@TheflipPsyd: I’ll definitely keep that in mind. Right now, it looks like F will not be allowed back at S’s house and I’m expecting that if he ever does get another chance they will keep an adult around at all times, but that’s out of my control. If we hear about anything ever happening again, then children’s services is a good step. That has the best chance of protecting all the kids involved and hopefully helping F.
JaneE
Is that what ADHD is? I am not quite that bad, but getting distracted by something that needs more immediate attention and wind up an hour later never having finished the first thing I started has pretty much been the way I always have been. Maybe if I had been born 20 years later they would have diagnosed me with ADHD. As it is I just have to really focus myself if I need to stay on track. But ordinary chores are littered half done all morning. And I will forget what I started to do in the first place, so I revisit my steps (finishing some things along the way) until I remember what it was and with any luck go to do it before I get distracted again.
I always thought it was just normal. Oh well.
TheflipPsyd
@SomeRandomGuy: I don’t think the meds take away creativity per se, and heck, they don’t last long enough to take it away completely. I think adjusting to the meds can be difficult for some individuals and in my experience (which is pure anecdotal) I’ve had adults, particularly those in the creative fields, that the loss of spontaneity, the loss of the ability to feel emotions, etc affects their ability to be creative. I probably have seen more people who didn’t want to take the medication and probably were more resistant to taking meds.
There is a shortage of psychiatrists and many areas do not have access to psychiatrists. I’ve seen through the years that those individuals who can advocate for themselves and have access to a psychiatrist who partners with you and listens to you, then you have a really good chance of finding the right med and the right dose that works for you. Unfortunately, the majority of psychotropic meds are prescribed by primary care physicians who may not have the expertise. So for adults who may be reluctant to take meds, if the first drug has more downsides than upsides, they may not try another.
Sister Golden Bear
@sab:
It’s completely possible to have both gender dysphoria and ADHD, I’m living proof. And they’re really different things.
Speaking from experience, yes if you’ve got gender dysphoria it does take up extra mental energy. For me it was like a constant background static. But that was wholly different than ADHD.
The key difference is that ADHD meds generally don’t have beneficial effects for people who aren’t ADHD. So giving them to a non-ADHD trans kid won’t be effective, just as it won’t be effective for helping a non-ADHD teen with depression where the depression is causing ADHD-like symptoms.
schrodingers_cat
I will be here in a couple of weeks, hopefully catch the tail end of the monsoon. This is my hood you guys, where I grew up
I can name almost every street in this number
I have lived in many places and loved living there, but Mumbai will always be my jaan.
SamInWa
I don’t have ADHD, but a few friends who do.
One thing to consider is that treatment for ADHD is that treatment isn’t permanent. One of my friends takes the meds when he needs to focus and does not when he doesn’t need to.
The meds have implications for high blood pressure (they raise it), which is a consideration for him.
Martin
@SamInWa: There’s two broad categories of meds – some do have lasting effects and take days to weeks to build up to work (not unlike antidepressants), and some are immediate and have effects for hours.
My son used both – the long acting ones from the start to end of the school year and the immediate ones as needed – exams, days when the baseline meds didn’t seem to be working well enough, etc.
lamh47
Soooooo…did I tell you guys.
Car got stolen probably some time 2 weeks ago tomorrow?
Long story…parked my car in apartment two Mondays before in the parking garage after coming home from one my 2 onsite days (I WFH, but report to office 2 days a pay period). Sincing moving to Bay area, I only took the car out to go to work or run an occassional errand. So, once I parked the car, I may not actually go to the car again until it’s time for my next onsite work days, between 7-10 days later.
Two Fridays ago, I got a voicemail while I was asleep, so I didn’t listen to the voicemail until the next morning. It was from a neighboring city police office calling because they were investigating a crime and my car was used. I tried call the officer but she only works evenings and she had gone on vacation. But I was allowed to leave a message for someone to call me back.
after that voicemail, I went to the apartment garage to check for my car and car was gone. No glass, no dropped wiring…just no car where I had parked it. I called local PD 911 to report stolen vehicle and waited 8 hrs for the PD to come out and file my stolen vehicle report. After that I went away and reported it to my car insurance company.
Long story short, apparently on Friday night, someone robbed a Ross store in this neighboring city and the suspect got into the passenger side of a red sedan getaway vehicle which they were able to run the plates and contacted me as registered owner. Yesterday my local PD notified that my car was found and today I went to sign all the release forms so that my insurance could pick up the car from the tow company
Now it’s just waiting game to hear back from my insurance agent.
Anyway, so now I have no car. It’s more an inconvenience and I mean I can complain, but it could be worse. I mean at least no loss of life on my end. That’s good.
Couple of benefits are, my manager is allowing me to go full WFH for at least the next two months. I got comprehensive insurance after the last time someone tried to steal it, so at the very least my insurance covers the theft. Also, I was paying for parking in my apartment complex garage. Which now I won’t need. So hey save at least $230…so yay?!
zhena gogolia
@MomSense: I’m sorry I offended you.
Sister Golden Bear
@JaneE: Not sure what posts you’re referring to, but that definitely sounds ADHD-like.
FWIW, ADHD is unfortunately misnamed.
First, the “hyperactive” part of it, which makes people think stereotypically of 10-year-old boys bouncing off the walls. In recent years, they realized there’s also an “inattentive” flavor (as well as a third flavor that’s combination) which has particularly been under-diagnosed in girls/women because it doesn’t cause the same classroom behavior problems as hyperactive ADHD. Also girls/women are better at masking due to our overall socialization.
Second, the “deficit” part of the name. ADHD is more of an overabundance of attention with less ability to filter out distractions. It’s kind of akin to how small children are constantly distracted by the latest interesting thing and have trouble staying focused. OTOH, the flip side is that’s one reasons ADHD folks can be more creative and good at making connections that non-ADHD folks miss.
Third — and this was a big one for me — is that “deficit” it erases how hyper-focus can be a big part of the ADHD experience. While it seems counter-intuitive, if I’m interested in something I can totally focus on it only to realize it’s 11 p.m. and I haven’t eaten dinner. Again this can be one of the ADHD superpowers in the appropriate context.
Timill
@catclub: But the Js are beautiful as well as fast… and expensive.
There are currently 9 active Js (3 original and 6 new-build). This, I suppose, is what good billionaires do with their money.
I have seen one J under sail (Velsheda, off Cowes) and it’s a sight I won’t forget.
Suzanne
@Percysowner: I’m so sorry that your grandson had to deal with that. He’s lucky to have adults like you to care for him.
But man, it is scary being a parent/grandparent of a trans kid. Every parent is protective, but it took my anxiety to new heights when he first transitioned. Seeing danger everywhere, didn’t want to let him out in public alone.
zhena gogolia
@schrodingers_cat: Beautiful!
Sister Golden Bear
@lamh47: Ugh. At least you’re getting your car back, right?
FWIW, on a related note, if your friends haven’t told you already, never leave anything visible in your car, even if it doesn’t seem valuable, when you’re in SF. Sadly smash-and-grab car robberies are all too frequent.
Anne Laurie
@suzanne: When I was finally diagnosed with ADHD, the specialist gave me a ritalin prescription & a book recommendation, Driven to Distraction (still a good intro!).
I took my first 5mg pill, walked into a very good bookstore, picked up half a dozen interesting books on the way to the right section… and walked out with *just* Driven to Distraction. First time in my life doing that didn’t require at least half an hour’s cogitation & a wallet check.
Walking out of the store, I felt like I’d spent my life drifting between radio signals, and I’d finally been able to snap onto one channel without going into hyperdrive. Damn, the normies feel like this all the damned time?!?…
Jeffro
@Villago Delenda Est: don’t get me wrong, I’m an Avengers guy all the way. =)
(maybe the idea of going up against trumpov/Vance makes me think more of ‘Justice’ than ‘Aveng(ing’)? )
I dunno. I’m just gonna flip out if/when they’re all there and POWER UP!
schrodingers_cat
@zhena gogolia: Yeah this movie is from the 70s so the city has changed a lot but the oldest part of the city has not changed much.
zhena gogolia
@schrodingers_cat: So you enjoy the monsoon?
ETA: The Raj Quartet has some evocative descriptions of “Bombay.”
Jeffro
@MomSense:
I hope they have some fun with it! I can see Shapiro with green foam “Hulk hands”, Walz as kinda-sorta Thor, etc. LOL
Ivan X
My partner figuring out I had AD(H?)D was a life changer for our relationship and our business. Worked with a coach to restructure everything so I could lean into the strengths it provided (being really, really good at a single thing at a time) rather than making me feel like a goof who can’t do things reliably like other people.
John, you don’t sound like you suffer from the “what’s wrong with me” esteem problems that many ADHD people do, and you don’t seem unhappy, so why rock that boat? I actually think it wouldn’t even be a “disorder” if not for being in a society that values orderly production so highly.
strange visitor (from another planet)
i’m mad as a hatter. mostly hypomanic, rapid cycling bipolar. heavily medicated and regularly therapized. diagnosed in 2011. it was a life-changing event. put me down as a vote for meds and treatment.
schrodingers_cat
@zhena gogolia: I do, there is nothing like it. I won’t be commuting to work so I can enjoy it.
scav
@Anne Laurie: Normie bibliophiles leave bookstores with extra books all the time. There’s a lot of different types of normal wandering about just to complicate things.
Percysowner
@Suzanne: I know. We have been lucky, we live in a school district that has done everything it can to make him comfortable. They use the right pronouns. They have him use the teacher’s bathrooms because he didn’t want to use the wrong bathroom, we live in a blue part of Ohio and the state legislature is very firm on bathrooms. We got him a therapist he likes. But yeah, I know there are a lot of people who could and will hurt him either physically or emotionally. All we can do is love him and give him the tools to be who he is.
Suzanne
@Anne Laurie: I asked Spawn once if he felt like his meds — for ADHD and bipolar — made him feel less creative in any way. He said absolutely not, that there was more room for creativity with his mind in better order.
KatKapCC
@Ivan X:
This feels true. In a capitalist society built around the notion of everyone having the same abilities regarding productivity and thought processes and such, anyone who isn’t able to meet those standards is going to get labeled as being some kind of “wrong”.
KrackenJack
@M31: If the Dems win a trifecta, Alito may not want to wait around to see what Madam President does with it…
Princess
@Suzanne: My late twenties son would agree. He’d say he can’t follow through on creating anything without being on meds, which he started in college.
currawong
Looks like you’re going through the same internal conversation that Stephen Fry had. I watched a documentary about him and he was asked if he had a button that could switch off his bi-polar condition forever would he press it. He said ‘No’. The downs are terrible but the upside is his wonderful creativity which he wouldn’t want to lose.
Sidenote – I was at the same school as Stephen Fry for a year or so. He was in the year below me, though TBH, I don’t really remember him.
Starfish
@Baud: Yeah, I am jealous.
Women don’t get as much of the hyperactivity component so we just look like disorganized people who forget to make a doctor’s appointment. But like John, I feel like I am too old to get this treated, and it is what it is.
Starfish
@UncleEbeneezer: Shh. I can’t stand ASMR either, but we are going to discourage these young voters if we say that too loudly.
BR
Oh wow, I missed part of the Vance quote in the newly unearthed audio:
WTF?
https://bsky.app/profile/marisakabas.bsky.social/post/3kyp2bb5t5w2y
Mike in NC
Wife enjoys checking out antique stores and consignment shops, though I usually find them a bit dusty and musty. Temperature outside today was upper 90s, with heat index of 105. I have asthma and it really hit me this afternoon. I struggled for a few hours until we got home and I could properly get medicated. And fix a cocktail.
Mike in NC
Deadpool & Wolverine is getting rave reviews.
KatKapCC
@BR: Maybe he thinks girls are all Cabbage Patch Kids.
lamh47
@Sister Golden Bear: Nope not likely getting the car back…more than likely getting check for total loss. My care is almost 10 years old (2015), but low miles (45,000) with a fairly good depreciation value and no major accidents or repairs. So it could be a nice sum value.
So my choices will be either buy a new car w/down payment and all that entails (car notes, insurance, etc), or just go without a car until such time as IDK I feel like going car shopping? Maybe after merit raise next yeae???
As for the car, literally had nothing in it. A jacket or two, but no money, no electronics, no boxes or packages. It was in a somewhat “secure” garage that I was paying to park the car. More than likely it was someone walked in, saw the Louisiana plates and thought…BAM!
I already read about not leaving things in the car and all of that before moving…so yeah…just the opportunity for a good car theif
scav
@KatKapCC: Or worse, sees female fetuses as already women, thus appealing and ready to be impregnated to attain value at the get-go.
Splitting Image
@scav:
Tribbles (from the Star Trek episode) would make the perfect women. They’re basically born pregnant. As Spock observes, they don’t talk either, which makes them doubly good as women by GOP standards.
BellyCat
Cole… This is possibly your best post in a decade!
My GF has ADHD so acutely, she plays games on her phone while brushing her teeth. She also was a a quadruple boarded doctor until recently.
She tried meds and while she was easier to interact with (for me), she felt flat. But the people she loves love her. Same as you. Stay the course until they get fed up. And if not, you’re golden.
sdhays
@KrackenJack: There’s no way he resigns while a Democrat is in the White House, though he may choke to death on his own bile when President Harris takes the oath.
He’s just prematurely measuring the drapes for Trump’s restoration. And he’s miserable and ready to cash out.
Villago Delenda Est
@BR: Creepy weird. It’s all they have.
Suzanne
@BellyCat:
Ummmmm I do that.
M31
@KrackenJack:
now I’m thinking that Alito is pissed at Thomas for hoovering up all the Harlan Crow money, and that he (Alito) needs more greasing, that’s why he’s going public
Martin
@Suzanne: <dum dum dum>
BellyCat
@Suzanne: From one architect to another… not shocking. 😂
wjca
Or maybe young women are magically found under a cabbage leaf.
Barbara
@Mr. Bemused Senior: Just a PSA that the BBC Proms festival is in full swing and you can catch programs live or on replay on BBC 3 radio. Thoughtful programming choices with interesting commentary between pieces.
Scout211
Paging George Clooney.
Suzanne
@BellyCat: My intrusive thoughts are usually about column grids.
Another Scott
Meanwhile, … Phys.org – How do big birds fly at high altitudes where the air is thin and generates less lift, anyway??:
Neato.
Cheers,
Scott.
Kay
@BR:
The “problem to society” is really chilling.
All anti choicers do what he did – he erased the woman. The rape is “society” and so is the pregnancy. There’s no woman there at all. They really and truly believe our bodies belong to the state.
BR
@Kay:
Given how cranky and confused Trump is, and how many creepy and horrifying things Vance has said, it seems like the rest of the campaign could and should be about Vance.
Kay
@BR:
“The womb” too. Like it exists apart from the woman and is somehow public property.
Truly creepy.
Mr. Bemused Senior
@Barbara: thank you
Kay
@BR:
I think the usual “VP doesn’t matter” doesn’t apply to Trump because Trump has been talking nonstop since 2015 so no one hears him anymore. He’s like a car alarm.
But JD is a new horror.
Mike E
Simone Biles is the g.o.a.t. but Suni Lee’s floor routine was so clutch. Rebeca Andrade made me smile the entire gymnastics event.
Sister Golden Bear
@lamh47: Bummer.
FWIW, since you weren’t using your car frequently anyway, renting a car for the day when needed might be another option.
BellyCat
@Suzanne: As long as it’s not for parking garages, you’re fine.
KrackenJack
@sdhays: I don’t think he’ll willingly resign, but if he’s unhappy now – just wait.
@M31: I hadn’t thought of that angle!
Danielx
@Mike E:
Don’t get many opportunities to see greatness, but watching Simone Biles defy gravity was amazing.
Suzanne
@BellyCat: This project is a hospital attached to a parking garage. Last project was a hospital stacked on top of a parking garage. I think about grids a lot.
Mingobat (f/k/a KareninGA)
That’s interesting. I was diagnosed two years ago, and my first day on medication I was like, “What? Is this what my brain was supposed to do all this time?”
I’m still myself, but I can remember to finish things now. It’s definitely made my life easier.
Also, I lost a good amount of weight a couple of years back, which I badly needed to do — but junk food was my go-to for a dopamine hit, so I was starting to put the weight back on. I don’t need the junk food dopamine hit as much anymore, so I’ve managed to stop the weight regain.
Medication isn’t for everyone, and it might take a while to find the right drug and/or the right dose, but if Cole were considering it, I’d say it’s worth a shot.
BR
@Kay:
Vance has the zeal of a convert.
Martin
@Kay: I don’t think it’s really that the VP doesn’t matter, it’s that the VP doesn’t help. If the VP candidate goes out and murders an abortion doctor, that will obviously matter in the campaign. So there’s downside opportunity but limited upside opportunity.
I think the downside potential of a VP is usually overlooked because nobody <cough>McCain<cough> is usually dumb enough to pick a VP who would drag a ticket down. You get someone competent, maybe you keep them on a leash, and they don’t help, but they don’t hurt.
I’ve argued that Harris helped, but not in the ways that the people who think of VP picks focus on so she doesn’t serve as counter-evidence because they never seem to focus on the inward benefit to the campaign and the secondary effects off of that.
Jay
@lamh47:
@Sister Golden Bear:
We have a couple of car share programs here, so you can p/u a car or a small SUV when you need them, the small SUV’s have bike racks, and they are all hybrids. The cities have set aside special parking zones for them. There is a Modo just downstairs and across the street, and an EVO a block away.
Timill
@M31: Worse: he figured Harlan was paying off both Clarence and him; now he finds he’s just an also-ran to the black guy.
That’s got to rankle…
Maxim
@Sister Golden Bear: That’s what I did when my old car gave up the ghost. I didn’t use it often enough for a car payment plus insurance to be worth it.
John, as a few others have said, responses to medication vary. If you can take the fast-acting type of ADHD medication, you might find that a low dose is just enough to lessen the disorganization without damping your creativity or any of the other aspects of how your brain works that you enjoy. And if not, it’s as simple as stopping the medication, because it doesn’t build up in your body.
My body won’t tolerate the meds anymore, but if it did I would absolutely still be taking them.
Citizen Alan
@BR:
I am absolutely convinced that, at some point during his childhood, JD Vance’s mother told him to his face that she wished she’d gotten an abortion, and he has resented it ever since.
Citizen Alan
@Jeffro: My Theory at the moment is that it is setting up avengers secret wars to be a conflict between the main MCU/616 Universe and the fox marvel universe. One which will end with both of those universes being merged, followed by a soft reboot of the entire marvel universe with new younger actors.
Citizen Alan
@hueyplong: All republicans are rapists at heart. Every one of them hates women, and every one of them would abuse women if they were certain they could evade punishment.
JCNZ
@Ohio Mom: As the grandfather of a two-year-old autistic child, I’d love to correspond with you (briefly!), if possible? My email is jdcullinane(at)xtra.co.nz
coin operated
Goddamnit Cole. I started coming here when you roasted the Republicans over the Schaivo affair…but this is the Cole content I have always hoped to see.
Peace, sir…I think you are on the right track.
way2blue
Your description of an ADHD afternoon reminds me of the children’s book: ‘If You Give a Moose a Muffin’. [He will want a glass of milk to go with it… ]
JonH
Very long time lurker (I have been reading here since 2004) and this post hit home so hard I needed to comment.
It is probably too far down for John to see it but if anyone else on here is in the same boat I strongly recommend at least trying medication treatment for ADHD. The amazing thing about most all of the drugs for ADHD is that they are short-term, lasting a from a few hours to a day. So if you like how your brain works without the meds, which is absolutely a thing, then you just don’t take them some days. It might take trying a few different types of meds or messing with dosages so that you don’t have the “foggy” feeling. But if not then you just stop taking them.
Regarding the ASMR and being able to lose yourself in The Music. I don’t know if that is related to ADHD, but I totally get it. I don’t take meds when I will be going to a concert (or just want to bliss out). But even on meds, I still get a chill every time with The Clash Death or Glory opening riff or with Robyn’s voice on the chorus of Cry When You Get Older.
Whoever you are if your life is working for you, then more power to you. But if you (or those around you) experience negative effects from the ADHD then finding the right drug can be life-changing. Not having the “holy fuck how is it five already” feeling everyday can be a wonderful relief. And spending your life coping with ADHD, even when it looks successful, can lead to other issues like anxiety or depression.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
Her pick in 2020 is a bit of Pelosi’s kind of thinking. telling the GOpers, play nice and it’s ice cream with Smiling Joe, otherwise, it’s Harris the Prosecutor. And with Dobs these dimwits chose Harris the Prosecutor.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
Speaking as former Catholic suffering is clearly the point with Alito. My guess is wants become a saint after he dies and if anything having his shit overturn adds to the Judaical Martyr for the Faith Narrative.
WereBear
@Percysowner: 40-70% of women have both ADHD and Autism.
It can create a balancing act where neither condition “goes too far” and gets diagnosable. But it’s still a lot of mental compensation. Neurodiverse is a state with many individual variations.
Neither condition, much less the combo — DSM forbidden until 2013 — has been studied much in women.
A long way of saying you know more about it than the “experts.” Rock on.
Don
I have a long story about ADHD, at 68, but the best treatment for ADHD is mindfulness meditation. My VA doctor is not allowed to prescribe Adderall or any other medication for ADHD because of the problems the VA had with vets returning who had been given Adderall to keep them awake and alert. The came home addicted. So, I can’t get medication–at my age, it’s impossible to tell ADHD from early-onset dementia, so I depend on my mindfulness practice to keep my mind on track. It’s easy, low-cost, and dependable. MM is good for everyone, but esp those of us who need to focus on what our mind is doing, and not doing. Best wishes, Don.
Ohio Mom
@JCNZ: Just saw this, will do
Denali5
@JCJ: Thanks for the note about Kandinsky. He had such a profound influence on modern art, and I didn’t understand his work at all until I read about its relationship with music.
wenchacha
@BR: In that vein, I guess we need to implant all the snowflake babies who are chilling in a subzero temperature right now. They all have a higher-power-given right to gestate and be born, damn the inconvenience!
Dallas Taylor
I never comment but thank you for this. I have read very few things that were so intimately relatable, particularly the unwillingness to risk treating what I like to think of as neuro-atypicality and the model of positive, contibutory masculinity (really humanity) I’ve always aspired to. Anyway, I guess there’s a good reason I’ve been eagerly reading your posts for twenty years.
Also, yeah, executive function. But look how much you got done! Just sayin’.
evodevo
@scav:
Sounds like the fig wasp life cycle…
evodevo
@Citizen Alan: Or, back in those days, that he was an “accident” and not a wanted pregnancy…
nickdag
@John Cole:
A bit late to the conversation, but I’ve recently done a lot of learning about ADHD as an adult. If this is something on your mind, consider a few pieces of information.
A good book by a highly regarded expert in the ADHD world is:
ADHD 2.0 by Hallowell.
Glad you had such a wonderful day.
BellyCat
@Dallas Taylor: HUGE fan of your podcast! Should have known you were a (lurking) jackal.