Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Celebrate the fucking wins.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Welcome to day five of every-bit-as-bad-as-you-thought-it-would-be.

So many bastards, so little time.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Weird. Rome has an American Pope and America has a Russian President.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

The republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Balloon-Juice After Dark: They Really Are That Weird

Balloon-Juice After Dark: They Really Are That Weird

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Please let this be AI, please let this be AI, please, please, please…

 

Image

Text: JD Vance Full Family Kit (and I cannot believe I just typed that)

This is going to haunt my dreams tonight.   Please someone tell me this is just some fake shit someone made and passed off as real. Because, just no. First it was diapers, then it was sanitary napkin ear pads, now this?

We have got to vote these folks out and pray they don’t reproduce.

Open thread

Reader Interactions

65Comments

  4. 4.

    HumboldtBlue

    My gob can’t be more smacked.

    Kind of Blue stands out, in ways that streak across the sky, or better yet, slowly roll in with the fog. It’s all rhythm and sound flowing in a wave. It just sounds different

    This guy thinks it was too easy. You know, like, creating a generational sound… it was easy. Too easy.

    “Kind of Blue” is widely considered the best jazz album of all time: 65 years later, one can’t help but wonder if that’s only because it’s the least challenging.

  6. 6.

    West of the Rockies

    Yeah, a sperm donor cup with JV Vance’s round, hairy face on it is just a great way to win over independents and fence-sitters.

    Please proceed, freaks.

  7. 7.

    Chet Murthy

    @West of the Rockies: We can call them freaks, but Dems campaigning for office …. they can call it weird and everybody will know that they really mean “freaks”.  Dog-whistles!  Love ’em!

    And yeah, those people are freaks, they all need therapy.  I wanna say something like “this is what happens when you spend too long online in your Facebook chatrooms/echo chambers!”  Get out and take a walk!  Meet somebody at a coffee shop!  Turn off your computer!  Put down your phone!

  8. 8.

    VFX Lurker

    I doubt it’s AI. The text doesn’t have that dreamlike garbled quality. I can clearly read the words on the hats, shirts, pins and cups.

    However, like others upthread, I need more context for these images. I accept that they are real, but I don’t know what they mean.

  11. 11.

    JaySinWA

    I have questions.

    Are they collecting donations or distributing them?

    Is this a cuckold kit?

    Looking at the size of the cup, are they looking to combine donors?

    Inquiring minds don’t really want to know.

  14. 14.

    NotMax

    @JaySinWA

    Could be weirder. Could be s sippy cup.
    //

    (My browser settings block images (and videos) from X, so I’m going by the descriptions above.)

  15. 15.

    Chet Murthy

    @West of the Rockies: I don’t know: it’s all so …. weird.  But perhaps what they’re doing, is just what “reply guys” do on Twitter, eh?  I mean, from what I understand, “reply guys” just try to “own” the tweeter to whom they’re responding.  They don’t care about anything else, other than “owning” their target.

    Maybe that’s what’s going on here: these people are just trying to “own” us dirty libs.  I mean, remember that Vance has been on this kick about the essential gender purpose of human females being reproduction and raising of children, right?  And our response has been “uh, no, females, *women* can have lots of purposes in life other than reproduction and childrearing, you weirdo”  Maybe this is their way of replying to us, to say “haha no, what matters is reproduction, and here’s proof!  A sperm donor kit!  From JD!  Take that, you dirty libs!”

    I think it’s not coincidental that the specimen jars have Vance’s face on ’em, that the caption is “JD Vance Full Family Kit.”  This is their way of saying “Nuh-uh, what matters is raising a full family!   Everything else is unimportant!  YOU are unimportant!”

    OK, that’s just me speculating.  I could be completely wrong.

  17. 17.

    Anne Laurie

    @JaySinWA: Looking at the size of the cup, are they looking to combine donors?

    Pretty sure those are standard, widely-available clean-catch (urine) collection containers.  Don’t know the context, don’t wanna look for the context…

  19. 19.

    piratedan

    what they are doing is mocking those that cannot have kids via the usual sexual means.  In other words, shaming those that need IVF to have kids as if this is some kind of “ownage” (yeah, making fun of people that want to have a family but can’t).  Just consider it one more confirmation that these are the same shitty people that mocked John Kerry for his Purple Heart by wearing band-aids with purple hearts drawn on them with crayons.

  20. 20.

    Chet Murthy

    @piratedan: Oh hm!  yes, I see it now!  I think you’re right!  This is just like those “purple heart bandaids” from 2004.  Those mocked Kerry’s Purple Heart medal.  These mock people who can’t have kids without medical intervention, and childless people.

  21. 21.

    ColoradoGuy

    Collection cups for either semen or urine, with JD Vance’s mug on it, held by one or two grinning MAGiots.

    This beyond weird. It’s beyond bizarre. It’s a mass media zombie cult.

  26. 26.

    Ksmiami

    Hideous, unlikeable, unfuckable morons. Next time we get a pandemic, I hope it wipes them out completely.

  27. 27.

    Shana

    I keep thinking of the beginning of Idiocracy where they explain how we got that way. Smart people kept finding reasons to wait to have kids while idiots just kept pumping them out. Eventually the idiots took over

  30. 30.

    Citizen Alan

    @Shana: I hated that. It was a facile eugenics argument that fatally undermined what could have been a powerful message about the importance of education. Because if we ever do achieve the Idiocracy, it won’t be because “dumb people outbreed smart people.” It will be because of a persistent campaign by wealthy conservative elites to destroy our educational system because ignorant people are easier to control and manipulate.

    These garbage humans aren’t flashing sperm donor cups or whatever because they’re dumb. They’re doing it because it’s just another way for vicious awful people to say “Fuck You” to people they hate.

  31. 31.

    TBone

    Are these photos from a Pennsylvania rally, I wonder?  Because this type of weird seems like something PA rumpers excel in.  Pwning themselves trying to pwn the libs runs rampant here.

  32. 32.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Chet Murthy: ​
     

    Maybe this is their way of replying to us, to say “haha no, what matters is reproduction, and here’s proof! A sperm donor kit! From JD! Take that, you dirty libs!”

    Makes about as much sense as anything. Their problem is, they’re so deep into their bubble that they come up with bizarre shit like this as attempted pwnage. Which doesn’t work if the people they’re trying to pwn have no idea what the fuck they’re trying to say, and just look and say, “that’s weirder than weird. And kinda ick too.”

  33. 33.

    gene108

    Looks like a generic specimen cup used for urine samples.

    Makes the “full family kit” even weirder.

  35. 35.

    Tony Jay

    No need to overthink it. They’re just admission cups for the rally afterparty down at Orgy Arena. J. D. Vance’s handsome image is on there to aid in filling them to the brim. Slosh them at the door to get past security, toss them into the bowl at the centre of the Party Circle, and once the DJ drops the needle on Lara Trump’s cover of ‘I Touch Myself’ everybody reaches for a cup and the ripping and the tearing starts.

    What? Democrats don’t know how to party? Typical.

  36. 36.

    hueyplong

    @Tony Jay: “J. D. Vance’s handsome image is on there to aid in filling them to the brim.”

    I was sure it was to avoid overfilling.

    The likes of the FTFNYT will keep trying to eradicate it, but the “weird” campaign is, to this point, the most accurate attack on an opposing party we’ve ever seen.  Who knew that their knee-jerk Double Down theory would be applied to “weird?”

    This is the time to take the fact that they vote against their interests, launch an attack calling them “The Self-Harm Party,” and see where it goes.

    Sure, it’s a variant of “tell them not to drink bleach,” but they’re hepped up right now and it just might work.

  37. 37.

    Nettoyeur

    @Tony Jay:  The sound track for the sperm kits should be the song ‘Masturbation Can be Fun” from the 60s musical Hair. MAGA is now full on weird counter culture.

  38. 38.

    Tony Jay

    @hueyplong:

      I was sure it was to avoid overfilling.

    Sounds like imposing artificial limits on production to me. Socialists!

    ‘Weird’ is tearing them apart. They can’t deny it and still run a MAGA-turnout campaign, they can’t embrace it without putting their creepy brand of punch-down weirdness on display for normies to see and be repulsed by.

    Keep up the job, Dems. Define these freaky fascists in terms everyone can understand, despite the best efforts of the media gatekeepers to drown the laughter out with the rattling of pearls.

  39. 39.

    Tony Jay

    @Nettoyeur:

    I pressed send, got in the shower, and immediately thought “Damn. Lara Trump covers The Beatles’ Come Together and refuses to pay royalties. On point on levels.”

    Why did I fire my editor? Why were they imaginary in the first place?

  43. 43.

    Elizabelle

    Make America Wank Again.

    They’re wearing T shirts with their candidate in his victory pose after the shooting attempt, too.  Really ugly subset of people.  Pathetic, really.

  44. 44.

    Central Planning

    I think I need to create an Etsy account or something. If people are stupid enough to buy sample cups with Vance’s face on it, I could think up any stupid shit to sell to those morons.

  45. 45.

    VOR

    Tim Walz and his wife used IVF for their two children. Madame VP has no biological children but does have step-children. Vance has made mouth noises about childless people having unfulfilled lives. I wonder if these people think they are attacking the Democratic candidates with this strange behavior.

  46. 46.

    Elizabelle

    @VOR:  The satisfied smiles of the couple in the last photo.  They are just so hip and in on the joke.

    But:  good point about the Walzes and their beautiful family, through IVF.  Those cups are going to land badly with a lot of people.

  48. 48.

    bbleh

    Not sure about the ostensible literal / metaphorical meaning, but I’m pretty sure what it REALLY means to these yokels is (1) a little bit “look how naughty we’re being, with — tee hee — sperm donation cups” and (2) a LOT “we BELONG, and this SHOWS we belong (and allows us — but only us — to be naughty).”

    It’s like some incomprehensible mish-mash of something a bunch of third-graders get together and whisper about and snicker over.  It’s valuable precisely because it doesn’t make any sense to anyone but them, and it has no other significance than that.

  49. 49.

    sdhays

    This seems like a good time to remember the Trump diaper wearers from a few months ago. Probably the same people.

  50. 50.

    Falling Diphthong

    Project 2025 et al are opposed to IVF, and thus I would think to the message of these cups if logical consistency were a thing that worried Vance fans.

  51. 51.

    artem1s

    People like this are the reason why I never go to my high school reunion and if they had junior high reunions why I wouldn’t go to those either. Perpetually 12 years old is no way to go thru life son.

  52. 52.

    O. Felix Culpa

    @artem1s: Same. My high school class is having a major reunion this year, and I’m giving it a wide berth. Too many RWNJs in the mix.

  53. 53.

    Snarki, child of Loki

    So it seems that JD is going the “precious bodily fluids” route.

    Someone should ask him about fluoridation, and whether he only drinks rainwater and pure grain alcohol.

    Watch Dr. Strangelove to see how it all turns out.

  54. 54.

    brantl

    @West of the Rockies: I think they’ve found their own natural answer to the birth control they don’t want anyone to use. That would work on anyone I know, male of female, as 100% effective birth control. I bet if you wave that in front of a woman, where she can see it, her eggs will go sterile.

  57. 57.

    brantl

    I sometimes wonder if people can get so stupid that they forget to breathe. And, more importantly, what age would typically be the onset age for that.

  58. 58.

    Central Planning

    @brantl: Nope. I would have to go the mean route and wouldn’t like myself for doing that. Idk if I could justify it by profits going to the Harris/Walz campaign.

  62. 62.

    4D*hiker

    They wallow in their baseness. It’s an act of defiance in much the same way as a child who continues to pick his nose after you tell him it is not polite.

    They don’t want to be polite or tolerant or empathetic or inclusive or unselfish or open-minded.……or anything else that their “better angels” are telling them they should be.

  63. 63.

    fancycwabs

    You’re only assuming those are fake semen samples, when anyone with a sofa can get the real deal pretty easily.

  65. 65.

    Misterpuff

    I do notice that all the displayers of the Holy Veep Jizz are menopausal or not female, not a nubile fertile functional ovaries and uterus-containing woman.

    This speaks more than cup of fake sperm

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