• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

“But what about the lurkers?”

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

You cannot shame the shameless.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

How stupid are these people?

No one could have predicted…

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Let the trolls come, and then ignore them. that’s the worst thing you can do to a troll.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

The desire to stay informed is directly at odds with the need to not be constantly enraged.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Roe is not about choice. It is about freedom.

American history and black history cannot be separated.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

The current Supreme Court is a dangerous, rogue court.

This is dead girl, live boy, a goat, two wetsuits and a dildo territory.  oh, and pink furry handcuffs.

You cannot love your country only when you win.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

He really is that stupid.

Trump’s cabinet: like a magic 8 ball that only gives wrong answers.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Dog Blogging / Tuesday Evening Open Thread: Pity (About) the Walz Opp Researchers

Tuesday Evening Open Thread: Pity (About) the Walz Opp Researchers

by Anne Laurie|  August 27, 20245:19 pm| 160 Comments

This post is in: Dog Blogging, Open Threads, Proud to Be A Democrat, Republican Stupidity, Republicans in Disarray!

FacebookTweetEmail

The newest oppo on Tim Walz: Dogs like to say hello to this man when he goes out in public.

— Eric Kleefeld (@EricKleefeld) August 26, 2024

They have been reduced to coming for Tim’s dog, and metaphorically found themselves in the, uh, dog product…

here's a screenshot from a video from that day where walz is with his dog scout and the random dog he ended up taking the pic with

walz continues to be the target of the most embarrassing oppo research campaign of all time https://t.co/SO6izAvPi8 pic.twitter.com/BQgdyi34tq

— manny (@mannyfidel) August 26, 2024

Tell your dog I said hi…

He makes a habit of greeting other dogs at the dog park and their owners love it. 👇 pic.twitter.com/BbEYzCjV8a

— Maudi63 (@maudi63) August 26, 2024

Not to give tips to the opposition, but conservatives would be far better off if they just pretended Tim Walz didn’t exist. Attacking him is a liability at this point. Even Trump kind of gets it and barely mentions him.

— Ryan (@ryeguy427) August 26, 2024

Scout, (not) incidentally, is a rescue dog:

… In 2017, Tim Walz made Gus a promise. If he won the election for Minnesota governor the following year, the family could get a dog. A high-wire and stressful campaign season unfolded over the next several months. But despite the craziness, his son didn’t forget. (He wasn’t the type: Several years before, he delivered a detailed PowerPoint presentation on why they should get a cat. “To be honest, the fight for the cat was one of Gus’s premier projects,” Walz told reporters at the time. “Sold my wife.”)

Walz won the election in November 2018 with 53.8% of the vote. His children congratulated their father…and then came to collect their prize.

Before Scout was the First Dog of Minnesota, he was Gene, an abandoned rescue. At 11 weeks old, someone left him and his nine littermates on the side of a rural road in Oklahoma. Many had crawled down and gotten stuck in a ravine right before a rainstorm. A woman named Kathy discovered them. With the help of her son, she coaxed them all out before the area flooded. They knew if they didn’t get them all out now, they never would.

The litter was taken in by the Minnesota-based nonprofit Midwest Animal Rescue and Services. One by one, they gave each one a temporary name. One male in particular—described by MARS to Vogue as “very calm, slightly nervous, and well behaved”—was called Gene…

They posted an adoption listing for Gene online. Within several days, MARS had an application from the Walz family. They rechristened him as Scout. “I’m proud that Minnesota’s First Dog is a rescue dog, and I hope Scout—who has been a very good boy—serves as a reminder for Minnesotans that there are a lot of pups waiting to be adopted,” the governor said at the time.

Scout settled in well to the Governor’s Mansion in St. Paul. He played frisbee in the backyard with the governor. He drove with his family to Dairy Queen for Pup Cups. He frequently snuck cat food from the bowls of his feline sibling Afton, and later Honey. Oh, and he ate his dad’s glasses before a COVID-19 press briefing. (The Walz family tells Vogue that if Scout had a motto, it would be: “If I can reach it, I can eat it.”)…

A year later, the Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris chose Tim Walz as her running mate. As soon as the announcement broke, Matt Nelson, the man behind the wildly popular Instagram account WeRateDogs, said he was flooded with notifications about Scout. “I believe we were tagged in [or] sent this tweet no less than 200 times in the minutes after it was posted,” he says. So he reposted it on his account—and it quickly went viral among his four million-plus followers.

Nelson wasn’t surprised. Walz, a former school teacher and high school football coach, felt relatable and familiar to many Americans. His tweets about Scout only furthered that perception: “It is simply a guy having a very human, normal reaction to something their dog did. For most of my audience, they can see their dog doing what Scout did and they can see themselves saying ‘this damn dog’ in response,” he says. But Nelson also believes it showcases something else: his character. “He’s a rescue,” he notes. “I’ve been in this dog internet space for nearly a decade, and I can say that there are few better subtle indicators of character than choosing to adopt an animal in need of a home.”

When Vogue first broke this gripping story, before the DNC convention, JD Vance felt it incumbent upon himself to procure a totally not rented, much more classy professional-type dog of his own to show off. (It’s quite possible the poor thing does live in the Vance household, but I don’t think he’s had much chance to interact with JD… )

This fool has no idea how to hold a leash. It’s going to take a lot more than a rented dog to make him not weird.
pic.twitter.com/m3AWsuRcE0

— Marlene Robertson (@marlene4719) August 16, 2024

Vance: Nobody kidnap my dog because we want him back pic.twitter.com/EYX3jVKOZK

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 16, 2024

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « C.R.E.A.M.
Next Post: The Power of Mom »

Reader Interactions

160Comments

  1. 1.

    dmsilev

    August 27, 2024 at 5:28 pm

    Meanwhile, “JD Vance oppo researcher” is one of this year’s strongest growing job categories. Apparently the latest is that he’s being weird again about women, saying in resurfaced audio that women teachers who don’t have children make him nervous.

  2. 2.

    frosty

    August 27, 2024 at 5:30 pm

    Not to give tips to the opposition, but conservatives would be far better off if they just pretended Tim Walz didn’t exist. Attacking him is a liability at this point.

    True!!

  3. 3.

    Math Guy

    August 27, 2024 at 5:30 pm

    Seriously, dogs are good judges of character. Let them decide who should hold office.

    ‘’Canines for Kamala”

  4. 4.

    Maxim

    August 27, 2024 at 5:30 pm

    Open thread: superseding indictment in the Jan 6 case:

    https://www.npr.org/2024/08/27/nx-s1-5090925/trump-indictment-jan6

  5. 5.

    Tony Jay

    August 27, 2024 at 5:32 pm

     Urgh! This guy, this weird guy, he just accosts random dogs in the park and manhandles them. Imagine that! Imagine him with the awesome power of the Vice Presidency and exploiting it to pounce on your dog and run his hands all over it no matter what you try to do to stop him. Isn’t that weird? Isn’t it? Weird? Yeah?

    Yes, Republican oddball. That is weird.

      Great! So you’re going to vote Republican to protect your dog?

    Heh. No. No, no, very much no.

  6. 6.

    Anoniminous

    August 27, 2024 at 5:33 pm

    Next Up:  Walz is KNOWN to have helped LITTLE OLD LADIES safely cross a street!!!!!

  7. 7.

    BR

    August 27, 2024 at 5:33 pm

    Since this is a Walz thread, I will repost his excellent interview about cleaning your gutters and keeping your receipts from Menards. Stay for the duet he sings at the end:

    https://www.tiktok.com/@subwaytakes/video/7407837291240082718

    http://instagram.com/reel/C_LXHF9OIom

  8. 8.

    hueyplong

    August 27, 2024 at 5:33 pm

    We’re getting to the point at which I half expect JD Vance to be revealed as a pod person a la Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

    There isn’t a whiff of humanity.

    Even the current political media is going to be tempted to run with this.

  9. 9.

    Old School

    August 27, 2024 at 5:34 pm

    Both Harris and Walz are doing an interview on CNN on Thursday night.

  10. 10.

    Scout211

    August 27, 2024 at 5:34 pm

    @dmsilev: It’s worse than that.  He said biological children. (Because those are the only kind of children he finds acceptable?)

    Link    In newly-uncovered audio, J. D. Vance (R-OH) said that teachers who do not have biological children “brainwash the minds of our children” and that “disorients and really disturb” him.

    He added: “She should have some of her own.”

  11. 11.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 5:34 pm

    GUS!  💙😎 I need to see this presentation so I can persuade my neighbors to stop abandoning their cats to the great outdoors.

    …he delivered a detailed PowerPoint presentation on why they should get a cat. “To be honest, the fight for the cat was one of Gus’s premier projects,” Walz told reporters at the time. “Sold my wife.”)

  12. 12.

    frosty

    August 27, 2024 at 5:34 pm

    @dmsilev: Two of my favorite (and best) HS teachers were only a year or two out of college, not married, and of course didn’t have kids. I can think of one or two older women teachers who were burned out or simply mean. Having kids didn’t make them better teachers.

    I hear echoes of Phil Hartman: “These female teachers without children – they confuse and frighten me.” What a putz. Vance, not Hartman RIP.

  13. 13.

    Flanders Other Neighbor

    August 27, 2024 at 5:36 pm

    The man is a legend.  He’ll fix your headlight AND teach you how to get total recall from your dog!

  14. 14.

    Elizabelle

    August 27, 2024 at 5:36 pm

    The video of Vance in the rain w the German Shepherd is the first thing I’ve seen that  humanizes him.*  He smiles as he follows the dog up the aircraft steps.

    * Mind you, this is the first Vance video I’ve watched.  Ever.  At least it’s got a dog in it.

  15. 15.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 5:36 pm

    @Scout211:

    Did JV’s mom have any children that lived?

    An old classic, but so deserved…

  16. 16.

    zhena gogolia

    August 27, 2024 at 5:36 pm

    BR posted the greatest Walz video today, of him talking about cleaning gutters.

  17. 17.

    zhena gogolia

    August 27, 2024 at 5:37 pm

    @BR: Oh, thanks!

  18. 18.

    eclare

    August 27, 2024 at 5:38 pm

    @dmsilev:

    I’m thinking back over teachers that I had from elementary school to high school, and I can only think of one who mentioned that he had kids.  I have no idea about the rest.

  19. 19.

    Anoniminous

    August 27, 2024 at 5:38 pm

    So are these women teachers supposed to push out the rug rats in marriage or are we talking some sort of revival of the Lebensborn program?

  20. 20.

    Elizabelle

    August 27, 2024 at 5:38 pm

    Tonight is the Taylor Swifties for Kamala organizing call.  Should be fun.

  21. 21.

    apocalipstick

    August 27, 2024 at 5:40 pm

    My grandfather had five different stock dogs over the course of my life. They were all named Pup.

  22. 22.

    Falling Diphthong

    August 27, 2024 at 5:40 pm

    How weird do you have to be for “Dog people like to pet dogs” to not even cross your mind on the way to balls-to-the-wall DogGate, the dog is a fake, this is the lie that at long last will up-end the Democratic ticket?

  23. 23.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 5:41 pm

    @Elizabelle: but he doesn’t even know how to grasp a leash properly!  That dog could have escaped his grasp very quickly.

  24. 24.

    VeniceRiley

    August 27, 2024 at 5:41 pm

    @Tony Jay: One of the first things I’ve noticed about living in Suffolk is everyone wants to talk and pet our dog(s), ask about them, etc. No dogs? People will barely make eye contact like avoiding a weirdo. It’s hilarious.

  25. 25.

    Falling Diphthong

    August 27, 2024 at 5:42 pm

    I think Trump can’t remember Walz’s name. Seriously.

    Though he might just be avoiding all names with S sounds after that Musk fiasco.

  26. 26.

    hueyplong

    August 27, 2024 at 5:43 pm

    @Falling Diphthong: I think you might be on to something.

  27. 27.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 5:43 pm

    @Falling Diphthong: 😆

  28. 28.

    Darkrose

    August 27, 2024 at 5:44 pm

    @BR: Now I want Vance to try to copy him by getting up on a ladder and pretending he knows anything about home maintenance. “I am relatable, fellow air-breathing mammals!”

  29. 29.

    Baud

    August 27, 2024 at 5:45 pm

    Yes, this is Tim Walz tweeting about his dog Scout. Only problem is that these are two completely different dogs.

    Walz’s dog was taking the picture, asshole.

  30. 30.

    Jeffro

    August 27, 2024 at 5:46 pm

    Trae Crowder had a very funny take on all these pathetic anti-Walz oppo efforts.  If someone has a link to today’s post on Twitter (or elsewhere) please share.

  31. 31.

    Tony Jay

    August 27, 2024 at 5:46 pm

    @hueyplong:

      We’re getting to the point at which I half expect JD Vance to be revealed as a pod person a la Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

    When the colony of alien lobsters animating the Ron De Santis skinsuit realised they’d messed up their world domination plot, they abandoned that vessel to a skeleton crew and went looking for another Republican rising star with sufficient empty cranial space to gestate in.

    I’ll give them some credit, they’re persistent little buggers.

  32. 32.

    Baud

    August 27, 2024 at 5:46 pm

    The media portrayed Al Gore as a liar.  This is just a repeat of that playbook.

  33. 33.

    Geoduck

    August 27, 2024 at 5:47 pm

    At least he didn’t abandon the umbrella in the doorway of the plane.

  34. 34.

    hueyplong

    August 27, 2024 at 5:47 pm

    @Falling Diphthong: Doesn’t Trump say “Kamala” instead of “Harris?”

    So maybe he’s afraid of rain (“hair”) and the letter S (dentures?).

    And eagles. And prosecutors. And judges not named Cannon or Thomas or Alito.

  35. 35.

    Jeffro

    August 27, 2024 at 5:47 pm

    @Scout211: pure psycho stuff

    I’m sure JD would describe it as “teacher power x female power = my complete inability to brainwash my children as I see fit”

    (JD thinks it’s bad enough that he can’t just reproduce via mitosis.)

  36. 36.

    Citizen Alan

    August 27, 2024 at 5:48 pm

    @hueyplong: A pod person would be more skillful at pretending to be human.

  37. 37.

    Jeffro

    August 27, 2024 at 5:49 pm

    @zhena gogolia:BR posted the greatest Walz video today, of him talking about cleaning gutters.

    that’s awesome!

    “WHAT KIND OF PERSON TALKS ABOUT CLEANING GUTTERS?  A SOSHULIST, THAT’S WHO!!” (please waste time doing this, RWNJs!)

  38. 38.

    twbrandt

    August 27, 2024 at 5:50 pm

    @Scout211: wait until he hears about Catholic school

  39. 39.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 5:50 pm

    @Baud: The media portrayed Al Gore as a liar.

    Al Gore supported government investments that helped lead to the development of invented the internet

  40. 40.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 5:51 pm

    I wasn’t gonna tell this but since dogs are the subject, here goes.  Rumpy neighbors got a golden retriever puppy about four months ago.  She’s a very sweet, very submissive girl.  It was the family patriarch’s idea, and we have been asked to puppy sit several days per week because she needs to be let out to pee, etc. when everyone is at work/school  During our convo with matriarch, it was explained why patriarch recently dropped a big, uncharacteristic Eff Bomb in the driveway – puppy has mysterious bladder/urinary and vaginal deformities and had peed in the car seat (again).  Mom said Dad wanted to “give puppy back” to wherever they got her because of the vet bills and the pee everywhere, all the time.  We are not going to let that happen!  It’s not puppy’s fault!!  So we will do our level best to help!

  41. 41.

    Manyakitty

    August 27, 2024 at 5:52 pm

    @dmsilev: not to bring up a painful topic, but any luck with your disaster at work?

  42. 42.

    Jeffro

    August 27, 2024 at 5:53 pm

    @Darkrose: LOL

    I have a bet with a co-worker that Vance is going to try for a re-do photo/video op at a local bakery or donut shop before the week is out.

    He’ll stride in CONFIDENTLY with his order this time, yes sir!

    “I would like 3 of the strawberry frosted, 3 of the Boston cream pie…isn’t that odd, a donut named after a pie?…3 chocolate with chocolate frosting, I mean, chocolate that aren’t glazed but are instead…er…”

    <short-circuits trying to figure out how to say it>

  43. 43.

    Darkrose

    August 27, 2024 at 5:55 pm

    @Jeffro: Trae Crowder had a very funny take on all these pathetic anti-Walz oppo efforts.  If someone has a link to today’s post on Twitter (or elsewhere) please share.

    YouTube

  44. 44.

    hueyplong

    August 27, 2024 at 5:55 pm

    @Jeffro: … and then sings “Daisy,” more and more slowly until he breaks down altogether.

  45. 45.

    Tony Jay

    August 27, 2024 at 5:56 pm

    @VeniceRiley:

    Its part of the Norfolk/Suffolk rivalry. Canine noses can detect Norfolkian heritage at up to three removes and react by howling uncontrollably until the threat is removed. If you have a dog, you’re not an infiltrator.

    It’s the same in Whitby. Up there all the locals seem to have a dog of some size or another. My theory is they’re the first line of defence against the reappearance of Undead wolves.

  46. 46.

    bbleh

    August 27, 2024 at 5:57 pm

    “My consultants told me that obtaining a dog and being photographed while holding the rope-thing attached to it would improve my image and effectively counter the unfair ‘weird’ label.  Sadly, they have been proven wrong, so I have FIRED them, because that’s the kind of EFFECTIVE MANAGER I am and that I’ll continue to be with your Hard-Earned Tax Dollars™ when I’m Vice-President!”

    Or something.

    Srsly, how did this guy get elected Senator?  I mean, I know, Tuberville, but ffs come ON Ohio …

  47. 47.

    JWR

    August 27, 2024 at 5:58 pm

    For those having a hard time listening to the latest JD Vance audio, Blue Georgia EQ’d out the muddiness.

    I cleaned up the audio and added subtitles. pic.twitter.com/40FMSr97dW
    — Blue Georgia (@BlueATLGeorgia) August 27, 2024

  48. 48.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 5:58 pm

    @bbleh: As long as he didn’t fire the dog…

  49. 49.

    bbleh

    August 27, 2024 at 5:59 pm

    @The Audacity of Krope: or, y’know, NOEM it.

  50. 50.

    zhena gogolia

    August 27, 2024 at 5:59 pm

    @TBone: I’ve never owned a dog, but I learned the proper way to hold a leash when I was a child.

  51. 51.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 6:00 pm

    @bbleh: Damn, I had blissfully forgotten about that. These fuckers aren’t just weird, they’re psychotic.

  52. 52.

    KatKapCC

    August 27, 2024 at 6:01 pm

    I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone sound less enthusiastic when referencing their dog than Vance did, and I would include whoever owned Cujo.

  53. 53.

    Bill Arnold

    August 27, 2024 at 6:03 pm

    @Scout211:

    It’s worse than that. He said biological children.

    Is there any public evidence that JD Vance has biological children?
    By evidence, I mean multiple DNA analyses, by independent companies.

  54. 54.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 6:05 pm

    @Bill Arnold: We can’t force Vance to undergo medical tests and procedures against his will. Does he look like a woman to you?

  55. 55.

    karen marie

    August 27, 2024 at 6:05 pm

    @The Audacity of Krope: I feel bad for Vance’s dog.  It’s obviously not being trained.  Just straight up the stairs, with Vance giving the dog no direction at all.  I give it a month before the dog goes to “live on a farm.”

  56. 56.

    Elizabelle

    August 27, 2024 at 6:05 pm

    @TBone:  True.  Although it was out of the limo and up into the waiting plane.

    Which is what most American dogs do, every day of the week.

    GSD makes me smile that Joe Biden will get to spend more time with his beloved dogs, excellent judges of character.

  57. 57.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 6:07 pm

    @karen marie: At least there was some slack in the leash, so you know they weren’t fighting. The dog seems better behaved than the owner.

  58. 58.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 6:07 pm

    @Elizabelle: 👍😊

  59. 59.

    Kelly

    August 27, 2024 at 6:08 pm

    @BR: A couple years ago I got new shop vac with a gutter cleaning kit. A stack of wand extensions and a gooseneck. I can vacuum gutters 20′ up standing on the ground and get the 30′ gutter leaning out the windows. No more ladders or walking the roofs for this 68 year old senior citizen.

  60. 60.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 6:08 pm

    @zhena gogolia: EXACTLY

  61. 61.

    Jay C

    August 27, 2024 at 6:09 pm

    @bbleh:

    Srsly, how did this guy get elected Senator?  I mean, I know, Tuberville, but ffs come ON Ohio …

    Simple, actually: Undeserved reputation as an “noted author”; Red state, Republican officialdom lining up to endorse him; said lining-up financed by Peter Thiel’s money; poor campaign by his opponent.

    But even so, yeah: “…ffs come ON, Ohio…”

  62. 62.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 6:09 pm

    @zhena gogolia: I’ve never owned a dog, but I learned the proper way to hold a leash when I was a child.

    It helps that they are typically designed with an obvious grip.

  63. 63.

    bbleh

    August 27, 2024 at 6:10 pm

    @The Audacity of Krope:

    Oh give me a home
    without Kristi Noem
    where never a gunshot you hear,
    where doggies can play
    in the sunshine all day
    and live out their lives without fear.

    Ok rather dark, but hey, spur of the moment, and it rhymes …

  64. 64.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 6:10 pm

    @bbleh: I loved it.

    Then again, my tastes run dark.

  65. 65.

    theturtlemoves

    August 27, 2024 at 6:11 pm

    @BR: ​ That freaking Menard’s jingle is a powerful ear-worm. I haven’t lived in the Midwest for almost 20 years and I can still hear that damn thing. And I can picture the former Iowa professor who used to do their commercials, too.

  66. 66.

    bbleh

    August 27, 2024 at 6:11 pm

    @Bill Arnold: And I want the LONG-FORM birth certificates.

  67. 67.

    HumboldtBlue

    August 27, 2024 at 6:11 pm

    More footage of the oppo researchers…

  68. 68.

    Baud

    August 27, 2024 at 6:11 pm

    @Elizabelle:

    I bet that’s why Major spiked Biden’s cold meds at the debate.

  69. 69.

    scav

    August 27, 2024 at 6:12 pm

    @KatKapCC: I’m also rather struck by the fact that his professional small talk includes asking the police not to steal his dog and asking restaurant owners what their crappiest menu item is (while being filmed for public distribution) so that he can feed it to reporters (some of whom are probably filming and most of whom are part if the viewing public).  Serious misunderstanding of what a Charm Offensive is?  Did he woo his wife by calling her utterly useless until she popped out an offspring to her face?

  70. 70.

    Manyakitty

    August 27, 2024 at 6:12 pm

    @Kelly: jealous

  71. 71.

    brendancalling

    August 27, 2024 at 6:13 pm

    I hope that dog bites off his tiny little dick and balls like in Desperate Living.

  72. 72.

    zhena gogolia

    August 27, 2024 at 6:13 pm

    @The Audacity of Krope: I was taught to put my hand through the loop and hold onto the actual leash. Is that not right? I’ve been doing it ever since.

  73. 73.

    prostratedragon

    August 27, 2024 at 6:13 pm

    @Falling Diphthong:  After all his talk about Wall, the name confuses him.

  74. 74.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 6:13 pm

    @zhena gogolia: Oh, you got it down.

  75. 75.

    Harrison Wesley

    August 27, 2024 at 6:14 pm

    You can bet your ass that poor pup will never be allowed on the couch.

  76. 76.

    zhena gogolia

    August 27, 2024 at 6:14 pm

    @scav: We know what his Mr. Big-quality pickup line was; “Well, you’re not white . . . but I love you.”

  77. 77.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 6:14 pm

    @zhena gogolia: that is correct.

  78. 78.

    zhena gogolia

    August 27, 2024 at 6:15 pm

    @TBone: Whew! I’ve never lost a dog yet.

  79. 79.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 6:15 pm

    @zhena gogolia: There is, after all, a hierarchy of minorities in this country. If you subscribe to such a thing…

  80. 80.

    Steve LaBonne

    August 27, 2024 at 6:15 pm

    @Bill Arnold: The phrasing “my wife has three beautiful children” is certainly… interesting.

  81. 81.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 6:15 pm

    @Harrison Wesley: snort!

  82. 82.

    Ivan X

    August 27, 2024 at 6:16 pm

    @KatKapCC: Haha.

  83. 83.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 6:17 pm

    @Harrison Wesley: You can bet your ass that poor pup will never be allowed on the couch.

    Who knows? Some people like to rub up against a little fur…

  84. 84.

    KatKapCC

    August 27, 2024 at 6:17 pm

    @scav: Well, when one shows up to a Charm Offensive without any charm…

  85. 85.

    zhena gogolia

    August 27, 2024 at 6:17 pm

    @The Audacity of Krope: I love that the couch thing has such currency that it made its way into Randy Rainbow’s song.

  86. 86.

    Steve LaBonne

    August 27, 2024 at 6:19 pm

    One of our two greyhounds will try to eat absolutely anything she can get in her mouth. And greyhounds are champion counter surfers so we have learned (the hard way) to be very paranoid.

  87. 87.

    scav

    August 27, 2024 at 6:19 pm

    @zhena gogolia: “you’re such a good mom” being the timey-wimey element of his initial pickup line.

  88. 88.

    Trollhattan

    August 27, 2024 at 6:19 pm

    Every time I see this
    J. D. Vance (R-OH)
    Think it needs to be this
    J. D. Vance (RuR-OH)

  89. 89.

    Steve LaBonne

    August 27, 2024 at 6:20 pm

    @Trollhattan: I used to call him VD Jance but have switched to JV Dunce.

  90. 90.

    eclare

    August 27, 2024 at 6:22 pm

    @Steve LaBonne:

    Pretty much all of my dogs have tried to eat absolutely everything.  Luckily I have a pantry with a door that closes securely, that is where the garbage can is.

  91. 91.

    Manyakitty

    August 27, 2024 at 6:23 pm

    @Steve LaBonne: maybe he knows HE doesn’t have any.

  92. 92.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 6:23 pm

    @zhena gogolia: I like how we can call this dude a couch fucker and no serious person questions it. It doesn’t even matter that it might not be literally true.

  93. 93.

    Steve LaBonne

    August 27, 2024 at 6:23 pm

    @eclare: We have one of those locking kitchen garbage cans.

  94. 94.

    prostratedragon

    August 27, 2024 at 6:24 pm

    @hueyplong:  Pretty please, can I run the unhooking? I promise to bring all the passionate intensity of Dave Bowman to the task.

  95. 95.

    hueyplong

    August 27, 2024 at 6:25 pm

    @prostratedragon: “prostratedragon… don’t”

  96. 96.

    dmsilev

    August 27, 2024 at 6:26 pm

    @Manyakitty: Thanks. It’s been an …amusing few days. We had a temporary cooling system in place that keeps the buildings at least vaguely habitable and lets us run some instruments, but it was mysteriously cutting out for several hours each night. Fine for the building, Really Bad for the lab gear. Today, we figured out that it came from the rental agency with a “turn off at night to save energy” program loaded. Solution: Clear program.

    Sigh.

    A real fix, to the in-ground piping, will take weeks. Maybe several weeks.

  97. 97.

    3Sice

    August 27, 2024 at 6:27 pm

    IIRC the couch humper should be barking orders at the leg humper in German. Drumf fans like that authenticity.

  98. 98.

    pat

    August 27, 2024 at 6:27 pm

    Teachers have to have “biological” children.  Where on earth does this come from???

    I don’t think any of the women teachers I had in the 60s were even married!!   You get married, you stay home with your own kids, right?

  99. 99.

    eclare

    August 27, 2024 at 6:27 pm

    @Steve LaBonne:

    I thought I had one too!

  100. 100.

    Manyakitty

    August 27, 2024 at 6:27 pm

    @dmsilev: oy. That blows.

  101. 101.

    eclare

    August 27, 2024 at 6:28 pm

    @The Audacity of Krope:

    But it seems true!

  102. 102.

    Baud

    August 27, 2024 at 6:29 pm

    @eclare:

    It’s truthy.

  103. 103.

    prostratedragon

    August 27, 2024 at 6:29 pm

    @JWR:  Aha,  specifically Randi Weingarten.

  104. 104.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 6:29 pm

    @eclare: It sure does.

  105. 105.

    Steve LaBonne

    August 27, 2024 at 6:30 pm

    @eclare: I, uh,know what you mean. That needs constant vigilance too.

  106. 106.

    Harrison Wesley

    August 27, 2024 at 6:30 pm

    @Steve LaBonne: I roll with Jay Deviance sometimes.

  107. 107.

    The Lodger

    August 27, 2024 at 6:31 pm

    @hueyplong: Makes me wonder how he talks to Susie Wiles.

  108. 108.

    Jay

    August 27, 2024 at 6:33 pm

    @zhena gogolia:

    Depends.

    Usually when walking a dog, I have my right hand through the loop, and my left hand “choked up” on the leash, keeping the dog in the heel position. Allows one to quickly do figure 8 movements when the dog stops paying attention to your walking. Also allows one to stop the dog from pulling. When the dog is interested in a scent, an object or needs to pee or poop, you just let go with the left hand to give it enough leash to do what it wants to do.

  109. 109.

    JWR

    August 27, 2024 at 6:34 pm

    @scav: Re professional small talk: Another weird thing about Vance’s donut shop adventure was that he asked each employee how long they’d worked there. Just pointless blather.

  110. 110.

    BR

    August 27, 2024 at 6:37 pm

    @JWR:
    You saw this Vance in the donut shop parody right? :)
    https://xcancel.com/samcahntent/status/1827181564163194960​
    https://www.tiktok.com/@samcahntent/video/7406532851887377707

  111. 111.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    August 27, 2024 at 6:38 pm

    @pat: I’ve seen it often depicted, so I assume it has some basis in fact, that in the Real America (TM) of the western frontier in the 19th century, teachers were REQUIRED to be unmarried.

    The attitudes about women needing to have borne children before they can be considered full citizens is so weird. I’ve never heard anything like that, even from weird cults. Where the hell is that coming from? Or is that his own damaged psychology, his own invention? I wonder if a C-section is allowed under his rules?​

    About the 60s: We had a couple of married female teachers in our elementary school. And a couple of instances where teachers got married and were hazed by the other teachers, with the students enrolled to assist.

  112. 112.

    different-church-lady

    August 27, 2024 at 6:39 pm

    Trump doesn’t mention Walz because he thinks Harris is still running against Vance instead of him.

  113. 113.

    Craig

    August 27, 2024 at 6:39 pm

    @zhena gogolia: yeah, that doofus has spent no time with that dog.

  114. 114.

    Tony Jay

    August 27, 2024 at 6:39 pm

    The revelation that Vance is a ‘Friend of Davenport’ hits so hard because it’s one of those things nobody realised they already knew until everybody started talking about it. Like a plug in a socket or Stench in a diaper, it just fit.

    Of course he fucks couches. Guy is just weird that way.

  115. 115.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    August 27, 2024 at 6:40 pm

    @JWR: Another weird thing about Vance’s donut shop adventure was that he asked each employee how long they’d worked there.

    And reportedly answered “OK” to each one. Nothing else. He was only programmed to ask the one question, not to have a conversation where he reacted to what the person said. That capability is promised in a future software upgrade, but no release date has been announced.

  116. 116.

    Elizabelle

    August 27, 2024 at 6:41 pm

    @bbleh:  I like that.  Doggies deserve happiness.  Noem is a bad ‘un.

  117. 117.

    bbleh

    August 27, 2024 at 6:41 pm

    @The Audacity of Krope: @eclare: @zhena gogolia: “you need to take it seriously, not literally.”

  118. 118.

    eclare

    August 27, 2024 at 6:42 pm

    @BR:

    Hilarious!

  119. 119.

    dmsilev

    August 27, 2024 at 6:42 pm

    @Manyakitty: At least we got the temporary system fixed. I was so so not enjoying having to put my systems into standby every evening. Especially because starting them up takes about 2 full days under normal circumstances, and going into standby for 8 hours causes the startup process to backslide quite a bit….

  120. 120.

    BR

    August 27, 2024 at 6:46 pm

    @bbleh: ​

    On the couch thing:

    Perhaps, Rick said, whether Vance actually had carnal knowledge of one or more couches is immaterial. Rick suggested Vance making love to a couch may best be viewed as what Werner Herzog has described as the “ecstatic truth” — in Herzog’s words, “a kind of truth that is the enemy of the merely factual,” encompassing falsehoods that “make some essence of the man visible.”

    https://www.businessinsider.com/jd-vance-couch-sex-joke-author-speaks-2024-7

  121. 121.

    Bill Arnold

    August 27, 2024 at 6:47 pm

    @The Audacity of Krope:

    Does he look like a woman to you?

    The new (post Olympics) “gender-critical” rues apply, so XX male syndrome.
    Can’t be ruled out without genetic testing!

  122. 122.

    Trivia Man

    August 27, 2024 at 6:47 pm

    @BR: Menards is a known dupporter of Scott Walker and hard core MAGA, but otherwise its a solid interview

  123. 123.

    BR

    August 27, 2024 at 6:48 pm

    @Trivia Man: ​

    Home Depot is also far right — I think they were #1 among corporate donors to Trump.

  124. 124.

    H.E.Wolf

    August 27, 2024 at 6:50 pm

    @pat: I don’t think any of the women teachers I had in the 60s were even married!! You get married, you stay home with your own kids, right?​

     Not until the 1970s did it become illegal to fire female teachers who were pregnant.
    https://www.edweek.org/policy-politics/she-was-a-teacher-she-got-pregnant-her-case-ended-up-at-the-supreme-court/2019/10

    So this “only mothers can be legitimate teachers” line is… malarkey.

  125. 125.

    prostratedragon

    August 27, 2024 at 6:50 pm

    [Sigh] This is now lodged in my brain for the usual decay period: “Gotta Quit Kicking My Dog Around”.

  126. 126.

    Manyakitty

    August 27, 2024 at 6:52 pm

    @dmsilev: so chewing gum and baling wire…

  127. 127.

    Matt McIrvin

    August 27, 2024 at 6:52 pm

    WHYYYYYY are all the scary articles about Republican plans to steal the election STILL propagating the false idea that a House contingent election happens if enough electors are un-certified that “nobody gets to 270”?

    It’s not true! They keep saying it! It’s like they’re all just quoting each other and nobody is taking five minutes to read the text of the law!

  128. 128.

    Aziz, light!

    August 27, 2024 at 6:54 pm

    @Steve LaBonne: This is not your beautiful wife. These are not her three beautiful children. My God, how the fuck did you get here?

  129. 129.

    Ksmiami

    August 27, 2024 at 7:05 pm

    @TBone: Republicans are bad people. Poor pooch

  130. 130.

    JWR

    August 27, 2024 at 7:06 pm

    @BR:

    You saw this Vance in the donut shop parody right? :)

    LoL! and no, I hadn’t seen that one. Thanks! ;)

    BTW, your “X” ETA “XCancel” link was “invalid”, but TikTok worked fine.

  131. 131.

    wenchacha

    August 27, 2024 at 7:09 pm

    @frosty: Or Phil Hartman’s Lionel Hutz.

  132. 132.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    August 27, 2024 at 7:10 pm

    @pat: I had nuns.

  133. 133.

    The Audacity of Krope

    August 27, 2024 at 7:10 pm

    It is noteworthy that the most significant Walz “scandal” is that his son lives him. The horror.

  134. 134.

    The Lodger

    August 27, 2024 at 7:10 pm

    @prostratedragon: Anything I have to say about that would be … petty.

  135. 135.

    KatKapCC

    August 27, 2024 at 7:14 pm

    @BR: HOWLING. Oh man.

  136. 136.

    Josie

    August 27, 2024 at 7:29 pm

    @H.E.Wolf: ​
     This is so true. I was a public school librarian. When I was pregnant with my oldest son in 1975, the school district tried to make me stay home when I started to show. I had to threaten legal action (my husband was an attorney) to keep working. We needed the money so it was important to us. Then they tried to keep me from using my sick days that I had accumulated. So much for the good old days.

  137. 137.

    CHETAN R MURTHY

    August 27, 2024 at 7:35 pm

    @Harrison Wesley: J Divans.  I didn’t make it up.

  138. 138.

    Hoppie

    August 27, 2024 at 7:38 pm

    @hueyplong: Chef’s kiss, sir.

  139. 139.

    TF79

    August 27, 2024 at 7:54 pm

    @H.E.Wolf: Not to mention all those nuns teaching at Catholic schools!

  140. 140.

    pajaro

    August 27, 2024 at 7:57 pm

    @prostratedragon:

    Of course, Randi Weingarten isn’t a teacher, she’s the head of the union.

    And yes, in the 1960’s teacher was a single woman’s job.  Obviously, that was the case in parochial schools, but it was also true in public schools.  There were places that fired teachers if they got pregnant.

  141. 141.

    artem1s

    August 27, 2024 at 8:02 pm

    @Darkrose: ​ 
    TCF, RFKJr, and VJV – the Avengers of Off-putting. perfect Trae.

  142. 142.

    lowtechcyclist

    August 27, 2024 at 8:05 pm

    @hueyplong: ​
     

    We’re getting to the point at which I half expect JD Vance to be revealed as a pod person a la Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

    The summer camp I went to as a kid used to show that movie every summer.

    I would totally believe that about JV Dance.

    And Ron DeSantis as well.

    And a number of other prominent Republicans, come to think of it.

  143. 143.

    Gvg

    August 27, 2024 at 8:07 pm

    @pat: My mother was married in college. When she got pregnant, her professors coached her on how to hide it while she passed her teachers exams and got licensed and her first teaching position. I was born in August just before another school year. Teachers in the 60’s weren’t supposed to have kids or be visibly pregnant when in front of kids. It wasn’t supposed to be mentioned or something. I never understood the logic but it’s true. I don’t know when it changed. Obviously I was brought up knowing where babies came from and that there were stupid rules some people made other people follow about talking about it.

  144. 144.

    lowtechcyclist

    August 27, 2024 at 8:12 pm

    @BR:

    Since this is a Walz thread, I will repost his excellent interview about cleaning your gutters and keeping your receipts from Menards. Stay for the duet he sings at the end:

    https://www.tiktok.com/@subwaytakes/video/7407837291240082718

    http://instagram.com/reel/C_LXHF9OIom

    Gutter guards, man, worth their weight in gold.  They let the water in, keep the leaves out.

    I remember having to clean the damn gutters a few times each year. I so don’t miss that.

  145. 145.

    wjca

    August 27, 2024 at 8:15 pm

    @pajaro: in the 1960’s teacher was a single woman’s job.

    I think that depended on where you were.  I know my 2nd grade teacher (1954-55) was Mrs. Sussman.  Also my 6th grade teacher (so that would have been 1958-59) was Mrs. Christiansen.  This was public school in suburban/rural California.

  146. 146.

    Barbara

    August 27, 2024 at 8:15 pm

    @TBone: ​Doggie diapers work pretty well, but you might need to experiment for the right size and fit. I used cloth with a little pad inside for my old girl.

  147. 147.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 8:18 pm

    @Ksmiami: it took all of my fortitude not to express outrage and to instead direct my linguistic focus on positive reinforcement of love, and loving care for, the puppy they chose to make a family member.  I wanted to say “who changed the diapers at your house?” but no.  Catch more flies with honey!

  148. 148.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 8:23 pm

    @Barbara: thank you!

    I will be offering discreet suggestions once we get a better handle on the situation – puppy sitting begins next week.  You can lead a horse to water…

    Some kind of training on top of figuring out the extent of the medical issues is what I suspect is needed.  Time will tell!

    I am grateful that they have a good vet, puppy is going all the way to State College for an MRI this week 👍

  149. 149.

    There go two miscreants

    August 27, 2024 at 8:28 pm

    @Trollhattan: Very subtle!

  150. 150.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 8:33 pm

    My dad trained our Siamese to use the downstairs toilet.  All he had to do was flush.

    I’m sure we can help the doggo across the street – ALL of my cats are well trained (although I wish I’d had time enough when they were young to toilet train them, that’s the only thing they lack). They come when called, understand “No,” and generally do not misbehave. Who says you can’t herd cats?

  151. 151.

    Starfish

    August 27, 2024 at 8:33 pm

    I love that these candidates are talking to influencers and not the press. I have no clue who the interviewer is here or why they are talking about gutters.

    https://www.threads.net/@subwaytakes/post/C_LaJvcO_Nm/

  152. 152.

    Juliet

    August 27, 2024 at 8:34 pm

    As a working mother my children all did their own laundry by 4th grade. I had grown very tired of being asked if their clothes were clean yet.

  153. 153.

    cmorenc

    August 27, 2024 at 8:47 pm

    @zhena gogolia: Yes, hand through the loop and hold onto the top of the leash/handle with thumb over one side hand of the least hand over the other- makes it near-impossible for the dog to jerk the leash out of your hand.  Especially if the dog is large and strong, the other essential is to always keep just a slight tad of tension on the leash (not enough that you are pulling on the dog) – elsewise with that secure a grip, it can quickly generate enough momentum that when the leash does go taut, you can get dragged or even pulled over.

    We frequently dog-sit our adult daughter’s dog, a 60 lb rescue who is a sweet girl, but can sometimes have an irresistible prey-chase urge if she sees a squirrel, and so I have learned the hard way to always keep just a slight tad of tension on the leash so I can quickly restrain her if squirrel !!  Not enough that she feels me pulling on her, just enough to keep her from accelerating on me a couple of steps before the leash goes taut enough for me to begin restraining her.

  154. 154.

    Jay

    August 27, 2024 at 8:49 pm

    @TBone:

    Sugar, (Lab, Shep, RottieX) had a nerve clipped when she was spayed. So she “leaked”.

    Anytime she had been alone for a while, she would pee when excited, like when I came home from work,

    I learned to greet her on the porch, and make sure she had lots of opportunities to pee outside.

  155. 155.

    Gloria DryGarden

    August 27, 2024 at 9:16 pm

    @Bill Arnold: oh, is he against adoption, while still being forced birth?
    what a blight

    scraping something sticky off my shoe

  156. 156.

    Gloria DryGarden

    August 27, 2024 at 9:21 pm

    @dmsilev: Apparently the latest is that he’s being weird again about women, saying in resurfaced audio that women teachers who don’t have children make him nervous.

    can we keep making him nervous?

  157. 157.

    pluky

    August 27, 2024 at 9:44 pm

    @zhena gogolia: yes. hold on the leash with the non-loop hand threaded through the fingers so one can give corrective signals fairly subtly, quickly adjust the amount of slack by pulling on the loop hand, and by tightening the fist have a grip strong enough to check lunges.

  158. 158.

    TBone

    August 27, 2024 at 10:15 pm

    @Jay: thank you, and I’m sorry that happened to Sugar.  First thing each day will be to leash & let her out the door!  We hope the vet finds out what is going on with her quickly.

  159. 159.

    a thousand flouncing lurkers (was fidelio)

    August 27, 2024 at 11:37 pm

    @Tony Jay: Didn’t the Demeter land at Whitby, on Dracula’s little excursion to the UK?

  160. 160.

    Boris Rasputin (the evil twin)

    August 27, 2024 at 11:52 pm

    @The Audacity of Krope: Does “J D Vance” sound like a porn star name to you? To me, yes.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - Albatrossity - The Birds of May 3
Image by Albatrossity (7/31/25)

World Central Kitchen

Donate

Recent Comments

  • Gloria DryGarden on Years and Years (Open Thread) (Jul 13, 2025 @ 3:20am)
  • prostratedragon on Late Night Open Thread: America’s Fascists Love Alligators (Jul 13, 2025 @ 3:16am)
  • Gloria DryGarden on Readership Capture Open Thread: Alexandra Petri (Jul 13, 2025 @ 3:12am)
  • Gloria DryGarden on Readership Capture Open Thread: Alexandra Petri (Jul 13, 2025 @ 3:09am)
  • ColoradoGuy on Late Night Open Thread: America’s Fascists Love Alligators (Jul 13, 2025 @ 2:29am)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
No Kings Protests June 14 2025

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

Feeling Defeated?  If We Give Up, It's Game Over

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!