NOTE: I added this post under MM’s (i.e., self-bigfooted) because I don’t want to clog up prime blog real estate with a discussion focused on my medical issues.
John let me know some folks had contacted him to see if I was okay since I haven’t posted or commented much lately. That’s sweet, and I appreciate the concern. Short answer: I’m okay!
I wrapped up chemo and radiation around the end of August and spent September physically recovering from that. I’m still getting maintenance immunotherapy infusions every three weeks, but the side effects aren’t as debilitating as the truly hellish intensive treatment phase was.
My primary struggle now is to overcome (or learn to live with) the psychological trauma of the whole thing. It turns out a life-threatening illness and sudden decline in customary levels of physical activity and abilities can fuck with the mind in insidious ways.
I’m starting to feel stronger, but it’s taking longer than I thought it would, and that’s frustrating. Also, I’m reluctant to loll around on the sofa engaged in mindless activities like re-reading old favorites or watching cooking shows on TV because it seems like a waste of time, and I don’t know how much time I have left. But sometimes that’s all I can manage because if I sit with my own thoughts, I tend to go down every dark path.
I don’t think that tendency is unwarranted pessimism on my part. While my docs are optimistic about my response so far, I know there’s a high chance of a recurrence. And if that happens, I don’t think I’ll be willing to go through treatment hell again. I feel like I took my one shot at something like a return to normal. Now I have to get busy living again and hope for the best.
Most of all, I don’t want to squander the time I bought (at great cost) on moping around and worrying about things I can’t control. But it’s so damn hard to stop doing that!
In my best frame of mind, my focus has been to live in the moment and find beauty and joy where I can. That — along with the love and support of my family and friends, including those here — got me through the worst of this past summer. I have to trust that approach to see me through.
So that’s where I am. Thanks for listening. Now go argue about politics or pets in the threads above and below. Peace, love and strength!
Kamala and Walz Rallies Open Thread
columbusqueen
We love you, Betty. Good thoughts & big hugs your way.
rikyrah
BC,
Thank you for sharing with us. Please know that you and your family are consistently in my prayers.
FelonyGovt
Sending you love and light and every possible wish for your complete recovery. Hugs.
Blue Galangal
<3 <3 <3 I am thinking about you every day and hoping for the best outcome for you.
Josie
Thank you, Betty. Appreciate the update. Your cheering squad is rooting for you.
Baud
That’s what I want to hear.
Take care of yourself.
japa21
Thanks for the update, Betty. Mrs Japa frequently asks me how you are doing.
bjacques
Holding you in the light. And as tthe partner of a cancer survivor from a few years ago, hats off to Mr. Cracker as well.
dlwchico
Good luck Betty.
Those thoughts can get pretty dark when you got nothing else to occupy them.
Heidi Mom
Take care, Betty. Sending all the good thoughts I can.
Elizabelle
Love you Betty C. Keep on keeping on.
Oh. And Bouncy Pork might need a treat. Also Badger.
SFBayAreaGal
Sending lots of hugs
Mai Naem mobile
Betty I’m glad you’re okay. You’re doing this right. Just take good care of yourself.
luc
So good to hear from you!
ChrisSherbak
@columbusqueen: SO SAY WE ALL!!!
Argiope
Wishing you many spoonbill sightings as your strength and energy grow, Betty. So glad to hear the nastiest part of the treatment is over.
JPL
Betty, Thank you for sharing with us and know that you are appreciated and loved. I know there are days that really suck, but I hope they are infrequent.
Percysowner
Do what you need to do. Take care of yourself emotionally as well as physically. Both are important. I keep you in my thoughts and hope you have a smoother and total recovery.
Barbara
So glad to hear positive news, please be gentle with yourself — you have already given so much to all of us!
ArchTeryx
Best of luck, Betty. Do whatever you need to do for self-care, there is NO more important thing when you have a chronic illness. *HUG
Omnes Omnibus
Take care of yourself. Know that we are pulling for you – for whatever that is worth.
rusty
Thank you for the update, you don’t need to do it but it’s appreciated. Prayers, warm thoughts, good vibes, all headed your way.
mr perfect
Hello Betty from Canada’s Left Coast where it’s still morning here. You happen to be my favourite poster here and while I miss seeing your posts, your health comes first. Some Betty C. is better than none at all. Keep on hanging in there and hope for the best.
Fair Economist
I am really happy the docs are optimistic. Whatever you want (or don’t want) from us, we’re here for you.
Redshift
I’m pulling for you, and hope you’re up to doing more fun stuff soon
Also, don’t tell the other children, but you’ve always been my favorite!
Madeleine
Thank you for the update, Betty. I’m glad to hear that the horrible treatments are behind you and you’re beginning to recover. I hope the immunotherapy will be as effective as it has been for Pres. Carter. Take care, mentally and physically.
And thanks for your posts and comments. A bit rarer, yes, but maybe especially appreciated (though they’ve always been especially appreciated).
Edited for thpo and addition
Dougboy
Ms. Cracker, if I may call you that LOL – your bravery and no-nonsense attitude in the face of this frightening personal situation is so rare, but is perfectly in keeping with what I’ve gleaned about you over the years enjoying your trademark (almost literally) turn of phrase and intelligence.
Thank you for airing so publicly what is such a devastating condition – the planet needs all the BCs we can muster.
Love (in a non-creepy and totally supportive way),
Dougboy
Jeffro
Peace, love, and strength indeed BC – best wishes and then some!
AJ of the Mustard Search and Rescue Team
Back when I read your first health update, I kind of froze. I felt like nothing I could say would convey how much I’ve enjoyed reading your posts, ‘knowing’ you on Xitter, and sharing some humor at the expense of the horribles on the right.
You are a good one. And not only in the butter cow sweepstakes.
May you keep having more moments of joy Betty. You’ve made my life better with your humor and intelligent invective.
Ruckus
Betty – best of luck, effort and medicine.
I’m a fair number of years ahead of you and have had 2 different cancers, which beat the other 3 people in my family who only had one. One is ongoing but not as severe as the first. And I am an old fart so health issues are expected. But not at all appreciated.
My point is not about me but about all of us. All living beings get sick, but we have medicine and knowledge that can do now what we had zero clue about 50 or more years ago. We can fix most things that go wrong and yes, while the cure can seem to cost a lot in many ways, it is better.
You have good people around you and believe me that means and helps a lot. Let them help.
espierce
Thanks for the update, Betty.
Stay strong!
Robert
Thanks for the update. Best wishes!
Chat Noir
I can’t even imagine what you’re going through so all I’ll do is send tons of positive vibes your way (also, Hobbes the black cat sends his positive kitty vibes to you)!
Virginia
Much love to you, BC. I have missed your contributions to this place. You are often hilarious and a talented writer with much more to say. Hang in there.
Cathie from Canada
Hey, I’ve been wondering how things were going – great to hear from you.
Don’t beat yourself up for not making the absolute most of every golden moment – maybe it’s enough just to enjoy another sunset with the people (and dogs) you love!
arrieve
Thanks for updating us, Betty. I think about you every time I visit this place and I’m glad to hear the hellish treatment is behind you. Enjoy the natural beauties that surround you and remember that loving our time on this planet is never a waste of time, no matter what form it takes.
twbrandt
Thanks, Betty C. Your grace and courage in the face of this is remarkable. Sending best wishes your way.
Ghost of Joe Liebling’s Dog
Wishing you all good things, for a long, long, time, from way out here.
Ohio Mom
Thanks for the update, Betty. And thanks as well to my fellow Juicers who pestered Cole for news of/from Florida.
Modern medicine has its shortcomings but when it works, it really works. I’m glad it is working for you. I’ll second what Ruckus said, and hope for more advances and breakthroughs that will help you.
Sending you and your family good wishes for health and happiness.
Cathie from Canada
@Cathie from Canada: And this is a good article about healing:
We’re all made of horrible beautiful scars https://colehaddon.substack.com/p/were-all-made-of-horrible-beautiful
No One of Consequence
Thank you kindly for the update Betty. Positive thoughts your way and I hope you are as well as can be. Your words and kindness may have had even greater impacts than you can know. Given your track history, I would bet significant stakes on that.
Peace,
-NOoC
StringOnAStick
Happy to hear that your docs are positive about your progress. I guess life is basically chop wood, carry water, and when you are tired, just do what feels right and enjoy more sunsets, birds, and belly rubs.
Thanks for letting us know how you are doing.
Jude
Sending extra squishy, painfree hugs from WI. It’s hard knowing you’re going through so much. You deserve every moment, whether it’s being lazy on a couch or whatever. I’m just glad to know you’re still fighting. <3
CaseyL
That your docs are optimistic is EXCELLENT news.
That you are gaining strength, however gradually, is EXCELLENT news.
Thanks to advances in medical care of cancers, I know of many people who have or have had cancer who are surviving and, in most cases, thriving. The treatments do suck, OMG how they suck, but they also mostly succeed. This is an amazing thing for those of us old enough to remember when a cancer diagnosis was more often than not a death sentence.
I think about you nearly every day. I’m a BJer, so of course I worry. Thank you for the update.
narya
So glad to hear from you–and, especially, to hear the glimmers of positive; here’s hoping the glimmers multiply and continue! Also, I just want to say that I typically start reading BJ posts w/o checking to see who authors them, and your incredible way with words means I can nearly always tell it’s you. You are also the FP person most likely to make me actually laugh out loud. Thanks, BC; sending positive vibes your way!
Quaker in a Basement
Thanks for posting an update, Betty. Your presence is missed around here.
Just this week I was chatting with a friend. He picked up the first-of-the-month “Rabbit, rabbit” habit from me and I told him I got it from you. Sometimes these little ripples of our personal impact turn up in surprising ways.
Happy days to you.
Tony Jay
This is good news. Very good.
Now get back to work. The world of joyful profanity needs its warrior-queen back in action.
dexwood
Thank you, Betty, you inspire me, I love your attitude. I now know what you have gone through, are going through, more than I want. On 8/27 I received a stunning cancer diagnosis. Very aggressive, widely spread. Treatment commenced immediately with some injections. The prognosis isn’t great. If treatment helps, I might gain three years. If treatment doesn’t help, I’ll be gone by next summer. I take an oral chemo daily and as I write this I’m getting my second infusion. Shocking how expensive this is and will be going forward even with my Medicare Advantage plan. I have a great, small family supporting me and that is so valuable, so comforting. I still take Maggie Dog for an hour walk every morning to greet the sunrise and take some pictures. She is unimpressed by the colorful New Mexico clouds, but I love her anyway. I stay busy when I have energy bursts, but crash hard afterwards. Humor, light and dark, helps me through the day. Done venting here. I never intended to share all this at Balloonjuice, but doing so seemed right at the moment. Fuck cancer.
Snowlan01
Betty – I had a long bout of another type of health challenge than you . . . You be you, and don’t feel guilty about not being someone else. Still, for me, I find myself from time to time surprised by gratitude and joy that I am still participating in life. It could have ended. It didn’t. Keep strong!
EarthWindFire
@dexwood: Damn, and you’re still walking the dog an hour a day. You, too, are an inspiration!
Betty, it’s good to see you whenever you’re able to post. When reading your post, I was reminded of how people build muscle. You work the muscle, and then you rest it. Here’s the thing: the growth happens during the rest periods. So take that time on the couch and integrate all that has happened these past several months. That’s part of living too. Much love.
dexwood
@EarthWindFire: No idea how much longer that will continue, but I bought a new pair of walking shoes last week. I don’ t give up easily, always a bit of a fighter. Cancer is a bully. I hate bullies and intend to get a solid punch or two in.
satby
Would rather read an update from you that about politics or even (gasp!) pets. Glad to hear signs are so far positive and that your doctors are encouraged, because they tend to undersell progress. Big virtual hugs, holler if you need anything! 🤗
@dexwood: I’m so sorry to hear this news, I hope the best case scenario happens for you. It’s such a shit disease, but the improvements in treatment have been amazing, and I hope for you and Betty they work
J.
I am so rooting for you, Betty, to defy the odds and make a full recovery or at least live for many more years — and not only because I enjoy reading your BJ posts. As soon as you feel up to it, I hope you get out of Florida, at least temporarily, and do something for yourself — see someplace and/or do something you’ve always wanted to do that can get your mind off of the horrors of the last year. Wishing you all the best…
kindness
Bless you Betty. I did wonder if you & the homestead were OK during the hurricane. Glad you weathered it. Keep the faith and know we’re sending you our love/energy.
Mel
Betty, we love you.
Betty
Thanks for sharing the positive news as well as the continued struggle. Despite having received the shocking diagnosis myself, my case was never as scary and challenging as yours has been. Even so, it wasn’t until the tenth anniversary that I could feel a sense of having made it through. There are still no guarantees, but each milestone you reach is encouraging. You remain in my prayers.
Betty
@dexwood: Wishing you strength and blessings. Good to know you have a supportive family to help you through the hardest days.
Sister Golden Bear
I haven’t gone through anything remote as challenging as what you’re facing, but I went through Long Covid, plus various debilitating episodes of pinched nerve pain, and yes it’s an absolute mind fuck and traumatic as fuck. I’m glad you’er getting to a place where (at least) you can focus on “live in the moment and find beauty and joy where I can.” It’s a tough road to get there.
Sending love. Hugs, if hugs are OK.
Wanderer
Hi BC. I think of you often and am glad you felt strong enough to post today. Do as you please and as you are able each day with as much joy as you can muster to keep looking forward to your next satisfying day. Here’s to sunsets, birds, loving pets at your side and friends and family to support you.
E.
Thanks for checking in. I miss your writing.
Scout211
Betty, thank you for the update. We love you and we appreciate the updates you post. Sending good thoughts for strength and continued healing.
@dexwood: oh no. I am so sorry. Sending strength, good thoughts and healing your way, too.
FUCK CANCER!
And while I’m at it, fuck Alzheimer’s disease also, too.
stinger
Thank you for the update, Betty Cracker. I think about you often.
Two years ago this week I got my cancer diagnosis. Surgery was successful, and was followed by radiation and longer-term medication (“just insurance” as the docs smilingly tell me). I’m cancer-free. Nevertheless, I still have periods when I’m almost nonfunctional–purely a mental/emotional reaction to the Big C. I’m gradually learning to forgive myself for not being “myself” at all times.
Sometimes you eat the bear.
Sometimes the bear eats you.
And sometimes, you and the bear sit together in the night.
Caroline
Betty, your writing is brilliant as always, and I’m so happy to hear the treatments are over! Sending you lots of happy days.
danielx
All the best, Betty.
SomeRandomGuy
Well… a lot of them aren’t all that insidious, *IF* – and I couldn’t print that “if” in H1, but I would have, if I could have, because it’s a “big if” – you can chase them down.
Cognitive-behavioral methods are all the rage right now, but I can tell you some other facts.
First, by Athena’s Ovaries, you have PTSD after the biggest sucker-punch life can give you. Read up a bit on that, and realize, you don’t have to have every symptom, at the required level, to realize some similarities. Now, what does that mean? Well – first, consider a therapist, and EMDR is especially helpful for PTSD, and I understand it brings fast results.
Second: when your resources are gone, so are your coping mechanisms. At that point, you need to accept the emotions are like the weather. That doesn’t mean “don’t try to cope” – if you’re in a cold rain, you still try to *think* of ways to stay warm, right? What it means is, don’t feel like a failure if you can’t kick despair right in the derriere after a ten minute “stress coping exercise”. That horrible night that feels like it will never end, well, *IT WILL FUCKING END*. I can’t shorten it, but I can promise dawn follows.
Third: please, please, please, don’t be like some of my friends, who know how to cope with stress, and might even recite the various tools they have… and then don’t implement them. You see what I mean? If you promise yourself a 40 minute bath with lavender and candles and your favorite music playing in the background, and you never get to it – and, never take the 10 minute meditation/nap break either. You know the break I mean, the one where you promised yourselves 40 minutes in the tub?
(What? Of *course* I count myself as one of my own friends. Why do you ask?)
Fourth: when your emotions are raw, nurse them. If your skin was raw, you’d apply a soothing lotion, and cover it, to protect it from harm. Well, maybe you didn’t want to watch Vance’s Vile Vomitorium on Tuesday. Or, maybe you did: maybe the anxiety of not knowing would have been more harmful than watching. More importantly, maybe you envy me, having forgotten E1 of the Great British Bakeoff this season, so I get to watch it for the “first time”.
Finally, remember, your emotions are always real, and they always matter, but, when you’re in a hard state, they can whipsaw wildly, and, sometimes you might find yourself being embarrassingly childish, and worse, childishly wrong – angry, when you should be grateful, that sort of thing. Well, in one sense, that’s okay, you’re allowed to be cranky, right? In another sense, it’s not okay, you need to own your behavior. Be gentle but firm with yourself. You don’t need to order monks to flog you like king whomever in the movie about Tomas a Becket’s murder – unless you find that relaxing (or thrilling, etc.). Just recognize it – someone expended the effort to ignore some manifestation of your pain, and you *get* that, and appreciate it.
Also: no one is *ever* going to grade you on what amazingly high quality entertainment you watched, at *any* stage of your life. Happy matters. *YOU* matter. *YOUR* happiness, that matters, too.
You need to love yourself, in the truest sense. What would you do for a child, who had this need? What would you say to a friend, who struggled with this question? What would you suggest to distract one’s self, from unhappiness that can’t be just, you know, *fixed*? How would you nurse a child, a spouse, a sibling, a parent, who needed you? Well, *do* that. You deserve love. I know that, because I love you, just some fellow human at the other end of the intertubes, dealing with crazy-ass shit. I want you to be well, and happy, and know that all is going to be okay, at least for a while.
I can’t *do* that, but I can give you some thoughts on dealing with this kind of stuff, which I’ve provided above.
Finally: your emotions, your fears, your doubts? Ain’t none of them bigger than you, because they’re all a part of you. Doesn’t mean they can’t harm you – it just means you can fix ’em or fox ’em or fuck ’em, all as needed.
Good luck.
FastEdD
BC, we luv ya out here in comment land.
Soprano2
Betty, I’m glad to hear the worst of the treatment is over and you’re recovering from it. Kudos to Mr. Cracker, I know he has helped you a lot. I figured you were OK because I’ve seen you commenting in various threads, but understand not having the energy to actually write up a post.
I ordered my husband’s first round of meds for the multiple myeloma yesterday. I wish they had warned me I was going to be on the phone for almost an hour the first time I called! It’s quite a process. I’m hopeful it will help some of his symptoms, because even though he says he doesn’t feel bad he does have symptoms that I think make him feel worse than he needs to but he doesn’t know it because it’s come on gradually. We’re going for improvement to quality of life, because there is no getting rid of this.
Gretchen
Thanks for letting us know. I too worry when I don’t see your name for awhile. Glad to hear that you’re through the hard treatment. I was encouraged to think that you were feeling better when you said you wanted to go heckle Marco Rubio.
I think re-reading old favorites is a good use of time. When I read them the first time I was young and busy and didn’t have time to just read. Now I do, but for some reason feel guilty about reading instead of “being productive” somehow.
Denali5
Betty,
Thanks for the update! So glad to hear that your doctors have a positive outlook. You have been through a lot, and you deserve a time of self-care. Do lots of fun things! We love you!
Elizabelle
@dexwood: wishing you and Nurse Maggie Dog all the best. Fight!
Wanderer
@dexwood: please know you will be in my thoughts. It sounds as though you’re a fighter – battle on. Daily walks with your dog are a victory.
Ruckus
@dexwood:
Best of luck.
I say this to anyone with cancer. Actually to anyone with major health issues. There is only one way to go and that’s through. Treatment can be tough and it can be less than fun but it’s very often easily worth the effort. Medicine is much better today than even 20 yrs ago, because progress has been made, better concepts of what and how to make progress, better medications, most of which don’t make it seem worse. Many cancers are caught earlier which is very helpful in getting better.
Scout211
What?! Oh no! This is the first I heard of this.
Sending good thoughts and strength to you and your husband. I know how hard it is to deal with medical issues when your husband has dementia, so make sure you take care of yourself as you take care of him. Everything takes twice as long because they don’t process information well, especially something new and out of routine. And it seems like health care professional don’t know how to adjust their regular treatment routine to treat someone with dementia who can’t process what the health care worker is saying or doing . Sigh. Take care of yourself.
Kathleen
I’ve been thinking about and praying for you, Betty. I hope I can liven up your day with a laugh. My job is to verify and enter brand names and product descriptions into a company data base. Every time “Betty Crocker” is on my list my first instinct is to type “Betty Cracker” and indeed, the other day, after I had submitted “Betty Crocker” items I panicked because I could have sworn I typed “Betty Cracker”. I was relieved to find I did not but you were 13 keystrokes from stardom, as your name would have appeared on customer store receipts!
Ruckus
@dexwood:
As a past and current cancer patient I can state with experience – NEVER GIVE UP.
Living life to the fullest takes effort and it often takes an inner strength to put up with all the crap that life can throw at you. Throw it back. Never give up. We all end up the same, on different roads but the gift of living is actually doing what is necessary to live, enjoy, get through, endure, laugh and smile.
Ruckus
@Scout211:
A double shot. Cancer and Alzheimer’s.
My dad had Alzheimer’s and it’s not all that and a box of Cheerios. I would not wish it on anyone. It’s not so much that you are sick but that you progress to being a living mannequin. And that it becomes a massive conflict in every aspect of life.
Ken In Hogtown
Betty, thank you very much for sharing your update. I know the hounds can be a real comfort, so enjoy them and the love of family. As the song says, Gators! Git up and go!
Jamey
So, so happy to hear from you Betty,
Ruckus
@stinger:
Sometimes you eat the bear.
Sometimes the bear eats you.
And sometimes, you and the bear sit together in the night.
If you wrote that it is very, very good. Actually that is very good no matter who wrote it. Life is an experience and it can be amazing good and amazingly not, as well as often in the middle. I have a neighbor who is 99, almost blind and still not in any way giving up without a century of fight. I believe that one should only give up when there is no other option. And that isn’t giving up. And we have dramatically more options than when anyone getting Social Security today was born.
karen marie
Dear Betty,
Thank you for the update. I was worried about you and the hurricane, because I have no idea where you are in Florida other than it’s beautiful and more northern than otherwise.
I am sending you a virtual hug because words fail me.
AnnaN
My late husband lived for another 25 years after his esophageal cancer diagnosis and treatment. He was amazingly fortunate and beat the odds. But I had the roughest time with it. Panic and anxiety plagued me for our 22 year marriage (fear of him relapsing) until I did the best thing I have ever done to take care of myself. I enrolled in an intensive week long outpatient therapy program for ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). I had trepidations but the mix of one on one therapy, med mgmt, group therapy, and meditation for 7 hours a day worked wonders. I came out of it a changed person.
I would recommend that, if you can, find such a program and treat yourself: tell that PTSD to go fuck off.
Hugs!
dexwood
Thanks for all the sympathy and encouragement. Heading home from the oncology center. Will stop for a chocolate milkshake first then rest, perhaps a nap.
banditqueen
Who cares about the arguments in politics when reading a post like this! Nothing is easy but when someone like you–strong, intelligent, a superb sense of humor, giving, lovely, kind–gives us all something to hope for, we’re happy! As for the animals in our lives–they’re there and I won’t have it any other way. So thank you for this post today–your news made me happy. Keep at it and we’ll be there to reach out to whenever you need it.
currants
@AJ of the Mustard Search and Rescue Team:
Oh, same, BC and AJ, very same. And it’s taken me shamefully long to unfreeze, even longer to know what to say (I’ll let you know when I figure that one out).
I want you to continue among us, and I don’t want you to suffer. I love your writing and have from the first (I started lurking during the first Obama run), and SO much love your bird and water-way-living commentary. Your writing is so clear, occasionally pointed, usually funny, and always, always a welcome read, no matter what you have to say. Excepting of course that first Health post, which stunned me.
So I guess I’m saying that despite my (our) wish for you to be well and keep writing here, even more I wish for you to be free to use your time in the way you most want. You’ll be a fixture in my B-J pantheon forever, whether you mean to or not, and I’ll continue thinking of you every time I come to the site, and (now) to BlueSky. And every time I do, I am sending love and good energy your way,
currants
@Tony Jay:
Huzzah for the profane warrior-queen!!
Orchid Moon
I have been thinking of you, and wondering how you are doing. Thanks for your eloquent update, and being open about the PTSD that comes with cancer (or with any life altering illness). The anxiety does get better with time, but for me, the anxiety has never fully gone away (3 years and counting). I wanted to smack the oncologist when she pointed out that I had anxiety, without ever mentioning that it is part of the cancer process. In a way the psychological trauma is worse than the treatments. They end, but the emotional trauma goes on, and on… However, you are so strong, and have such a group of support here at BJ. Keep up the fight, and one foot in front of the other. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Ruckus
@Tony Jay:
Hear here!
Betty Cracker
Thanks so much for the kind words, practical advice and well wishes, everyone. My love and sympathy to all who are dealing with their own health issues or supporting a loved one.
@dexwood: Damn. I am so sorry.
Sending you strength and courage and hoping for the best possible outcome. My email is [email protected]. Please always feel free to reach out.
skerry
Thanks for the update. I’m holding you in the light.
Have you tried doing needlework during your “sit on the couch and do nothing” times? I found that it helps me mentally when I have low energy days. I do simple embroidery or crochet.
stinger
@Ruckus: Wish I could say that I did. Barring that, I wish I knew who did, or at least remember where I first saw it. Sometimes people quote the first two lines alone, but it’s that last line that makes it, for those who have actually been there.
Ohio Mom
@Soprano2: The blogger Kevin Drum, has had multiple myeloma for I’m guessing around 10 years. He’s been pretty aggressive, most likely more aggressive than your husband will be. But in case you are interested in his various treatments and reactions to those treatments, here is the link:
https://jabberwocking.com/?s=Multiple+myeloma
Ohio Mom
@dexwood: You said you never intended to share your diagnosis with us here but we are all glad you did, so that we can shower you with good wishes and support, and hold you in the light.
Please keep us posted. We care and are all pulling for you.
lowtechcyclist
Glad to hear how you’re doing, Betty, and all my prayers and good thoughts that you continue to recover and gain strength.
And what Cathie said:
@Cathie from Canada:
But an occasional moment like this one certainly wouldn’t hurt!
mg_65
Lots of love and good wishes to you, Betty–I hope the rest of your recovery is smooth and easy.
Ruckus
@AnnaN:
I was a mental health counselor at a local mental health clinic decades ago and I think that helped me almost as much as the clients. It gave me a perspective that I might not have gotten on my own, and that is that we all have problems. Some have them more often, sometimes because of them and sometimes without any fault of their own. Illness can bring problems to the person and to all those around them. Now many diseases that we used to have to worry about have vaccines and have been wiped out for the most part, at least in most monied societies/countries. But it’s life and it can and will strike whenever the mood pleases said life. Humanity as a whole has been rather complacent in the last few decades because most of the killer/destabilizing illnesses have been, if not irraticated at least very well controlled. Covid changed all that and killed a lot of people before a vaccine(s) could be found. We need to remember that the world has been here a hell of a lot longer than any of us and will be here long after. It isn’t always fun and safe, we have gotten somewhat complacent in the last 50 or so years, because overall medicine has gotten a LOT better, and we have stopped/slowed down very much, many diseases that used to cripple or kill.
Ruckus
@stinger:
It takes all 3 lines to make it fit properly in life. And is probably, in my mind, one of the best things written. Simple, true, and a good story of life in 3 lines.
I know, ok I believe that I’ve seen it somewhere before but I have no idea where.
Jay
Thank you for letting us know how you are doing, Betty, we love you.
Mousebumples
BC, I’m glad to hear you’re doing better, and I hope you continue to improve. Those immunotherapy treatments are amazing, and I hope they keep you in such good shape long term. (*running joke at work is that we have an X days since new indication tracker for Keytruda that is reset to 0 multiple times per year)
For you and other Juicers dealing with cancer (FUCK CANCER), I wish the best for all of you, and I hope sharing with all of us makes your path easier, too.
MomSense
Thank you for letting us know how you are doing. We do worry and think of you all the time. I sometimes joke that I took up knitting because my puritanical upbringing wouldn’t let me just relax. If I’m sitting on the couch and making a sweater – well that is technically doing something. If you would like to try knitting, I would be happy to show you how via zoom.
Quinerly
Thanks for the update. Hugs.
m.j.
Someone needs a toy
You won’t be doing nothing. You’ll be learning keys, scales, time, composing and editing.
Ruckus
@dexwood:
I like Klondike Bars as a soothing moment of food enjoyment.
Mint Chocolate Chip is my fave.
The hardest part is not eating more than one per day……
dexwood
Thanks again to all. I’ll be around everyday as I have been since 2009, lurking more than commenting as usual, but I’ll be keeping an eye on you wonderful jackals.
Ruckus
Out of my family of 5, 4 have or have had cancer. I’m the only one left and have had 1 cancer cured and one different cancer ongoing. The non cancer person had Alzheimer’s.
I tell this because a lot of us will have cancer in our lives. Or something else that takes us early. We as a large group of animals have had a lot of diseases that killed or crippled us over the history of humans and most of them have been infectious diseases that a lot of people lived through but had side effects. Some of them have been worse than others. I’ve known 3 people that had polio and as stated above was born before the vaccine. I feel that Covid was worse than polio. Fast moving, easily transmitted, high death rate. Because I’ve known those 3 people with polio and as far as I know at least 2 of them are still alive, one absolutely – my neighbor, decades later. I knew others with it, parents or siblings of friends but they had iron lungs in their front rooms, because they couldn’t get them through the doors into other rooms. I do not know if any of them survived.
I believe that Covid hit hard because it was easily transmitted, and seemingly easy to catch if exposed and unmasked or not properly masked.
Jackie
If your Drs are happy with your positive progress, that’s wonderful news! You know your body about as well as your Docs, so do what works for you to heal emotionally as well as physically. Your Bill, daughter and family love you so very much, so on those days when you struggle emotionally, let their love (and ours!) give you the strength needed as needed. ♥️
frosty
Thank you for the update. I’ve wondered about how you’re doing and I’ve been taking the swamp stories and pictures as a positive sign. I’m glad your docs are feeling optimistic and I hope it continues.
If moping around watching cooking shows is all you can manage, consider it part of the recovery process!
MagdaInBlack
Thank you for the update, Betty ❤️🌻
dww44
Thanks for the update. As I’ve a friend currently a bit ahead of you in the cancer treatment, recovery phases, your thoughts and feelings are so much like hers and so relatable. I so hope that you regain some of that lost energy and are able to live your life and do the things which are enjoyable for you. There are a lot of us pulling for you and your beating your cancer into remission.
scribbler
You may not be up to your usual quota of snarky and profanity-filled posts, but I have so enjoyed the vastly increased “Greetings from the Swamp” posts in their stead. I feel like I am there with you on your porch, taking in the birds, the water, and the sometimes stormy skies.
Thank you for sharing another little bit of the journey you are on with us. It is much appreciated by us all.
baquist
Many thanks for the update. Still sending good vibes your way. Hugs!
Ruckus
“It turns out a life-threatening illness and sudden decline in customary levels of physical activity and abilities can fuck with the mind in insidious ways.”
Any unwanted major change in life will affect most people this way. I’ve known people with major health issues and this, if nothing else changes how you see the world, even if every thing works out great in the end. I know because I’ve been one of them a couple of times. It rocks your world but feels like real rocks.
Tehanu
So glad you’re doing better, Betty. Hang in there, we’re all rooting for you.
4D*hiker
“Re-reading old favorites and watching cooking shows” are not mindless activities in this situation. It is instinctual wisdom to encourage your brain to navigate the well-trodden cortical pathways and byways which have afforded you pleasure and comfort in the past. Deprive the darker neural pathways of your attention and energy when you are not feeling strong. The limbic system can be a harsh and pitiless taskmaster; starve it when necessary…..and feel no guilt/pressure about not being “productive” in those vulnerable moments.
You are strong, courageous in your honesty, and well-loved by many. Best wishes in your healing…..
MazeDancer
While the price may have been high, seems like you earned the secret of life.
Do what you can. Waste no time wishing you were something else. This, plus looking for beauty,, is how I learned to love living with a chronic condition.
Such good news, Betty. So sorry I wasn’t here to celebrate, yesterday. But am smiling now.
Liminal Owl
Betty, I’m so glad for your good news. May it long continue.
re: struggle with trauma of illness and treatment—please contact me if you’d like info on EMDR therapy.
DarbysMom
Sending all my positive energy and good vibes to you and your family from here on the left coast, Betty. I’m looking forward to celebrating with you and the rest of the jackals when we gut Trumpy Trout on November 5th.
hitchhiker
Line from an old Gary Snyder poem often comes to mind when you post photographs, Betty:
If I had a peaceful heart it would look like this.
And I’ve adapted that in many ways over the years — an adaptation for your current situation is:
If I had a courageous soul it would look like this.
You might think that you’re wasting time watching cooking shows, but I’d suggest looking at those hours as moments you’re allowed to bask, knowing for sure that your absurd, sharp, delicious language has changed a lot of lives and minds already.
Mine, for example. Wishing with everything I’ve got that you have lots of strong years ahead.
btw, the trump adaptation of that line is:
If I had a brain made of moldy spam, it would look like this.
wombat probability cloud
If three days of delay isn’t too much of a delay in commenting: Holding you in my heart for all of your challenges, which you are navigating remarkably well. And, hoping that the new onslaught of weather don’t present too many challenges to you and loved ones.