Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

The frogs are rarely mistaken.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

I am pretty sure Katy Tur wasn’t always such a bootlicking sycophant.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Let the trolls come, and then ignore them. that’s the worst thing you can do to a troll.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Everybody saw this coming.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Donald Jessica Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

We still have time to mess this up!

Celebrate the fucking wins.

You are here: Home / Climate Change / Hell or High Water

Hell or High Water

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Flooded riverbank

Well, fuck. Hurricanes Helene and Milton got us after all, even though we thought we’d dodged a couple of bullets with minimal damage. We’re now in a major flood and will have to go live someplace else for a while. Fuckity fuck FUCK!

The river has been rising slowly but steadily due to heavy rainfall at the headwaters during the storms. Now half our yard is underwater, and there are a few inches downstairs. The river is predicted to crest in a couple of weeks or so at a foot or possibly two higher than it is at present.

We’ll be fine, and we don’t need a damn thing except a suitable short-term perch. I’m evaluating options on that. We live in a stilt house, so the living area will stay high and dry. The downstairs is an enclosed game room with storage, etc., and we’ve had time to get the important stuff out.

It’s just a gigantic pain in the ass, is all. Another unpleasant disruption in a year that already sucked great big green gator balls.

Also, I credit the peace and surrounding natural beauty of this place for keeping me interested in life during a hard time. So I don’t want to fucking leave.

But the dogs need a non-liquid yard in which to do their business, Bill needs a hassle-free way to get to work at OMFG o’clock in the morning, etc. It would be impractical to stay, so I’m trying to look at it as an unscheduled adventure.

Anyhoo, just wanted to let y’all know what’s going on. To end on a grace note, I can report one positive effect: I’m too goddamn preoccupied by this shitshow to fret about the election!

Volunteer work is a wrap, and we voted, so we’ve done what we could. As with the river, what will be will be.

Open thread!

Reader Interactions

89Comments

  1. 1.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Dammit dammit dammit!  So sorry to hear of you being displaced, Betty, by the non-existent climate change related rising waters that Ron DeathSentence refuses to acknowledge.  I’m also quite distressed to hear the dogs don’t have a dry patch upon which to do their business.  So inconvenient, to say the least.

  6. 6.

    Scout211

    Oh no! That just sucks!  I’m so sorry that this is happening to you.

    I hope you find a nice place to stay for your unscheduled relocation.  We’ll be pulling for you and please check in when you can.  We worry.  ❤️❤️

  7. 7.

    Joy in FL

    Good luck with your unexpected adventure.

    What a pain. I’m sorry the Cracker family has to deal with that.

  9. 9.

    A Ghost to Most

    Best of luck. I had enough of cold swamps to last a lifetime. I can’t imagine a warm swamp is any more forgiving.

  10. 10.

    trollhattan

    Very, Very, VERY sorry. There’s getting your feet wet and then there’s the wet coming for your feet. And more.

    Here’s wishing for a brief hiatus and returning to a relative calm, gator-free situation.

    What do the dogs think of all this?

  11. 11.

    Baud

    That sucks. At least it sounds like you won’t have to deal with property damage. A stilt house was wise.

  12. 12.

    BellaPea

    So sorry you are going to have to relocate, Betty. While we didn’t get any direct damage, our beautiful Tennessee River has been mud brown for over two weeks. Evidently part of the flow comes via North Carolina rivers. It’s depressing as hell to look at.

  13. 13.

    trollhattan

    Hey, instead of election flyers our postman just dropped off our free Biden Covid Tests. That was fast. Thanks, Joe!

    Another + for early voting: election flyers at the end of October are kind of a waste.

  14. 14.

    m.j.

    great big green gator balls.

    Greasy, grimy, gopher guts.

    My sister once taught me a song she learned at summer camp.

  15. 15.

    E.

    I’m a climate refugee. I know well that “ahhhh fuck” moment when the mind groks that you have to leave. In your case, we’ll damn, Betty, I wish this hadn’t happened to you.

  16. 16.

    KatKapCC

    Damn, that’s awful, Betty. Here’s hoping you can get through this with minimal added frustration and be back home soon.

  18. 18.

    Eunicecycle

    @trollhattan: I received mine a few weeks ago but according to their current (extended) expiration dates they’re only good through December. I guess they could be extended again though.

    And Betty, I hope you find a soft place to land for you and your hubby.

  19. 19.

    Aimai

    Oh Betty! I hope you find someplace nice to transhume for a while.  This is so unfair given how terrible this year has been for you all.  Hugs!

  21. 21.

    Betty

    So sorry you have this added worry. Sometimes you wonder when the testing of your fortitude will end. I hope you find a relaxing place, maybe near a beach. The sea can be soothing when there are no storms in the vicinity. Hope the cresting is sooner rather than later so you can get back home.

  22. 22.

    Kay

    Oh Betty I’m sorry. it is a beautiful, serene place – I get sticking it out. We’re all going to be in this together ultimately – no one will be spared

  23. 23.

    Jackie

    So sorry you, Bill and the pups are going through this! I hope your evacuation is short-lived and you’re back home in your paradise SOONEST!!! Make Pudd’n Boots help you apply for FEMA – if applicable.

    Keep us posted when you can; we know your priorities are occupied!

  24. 24.

    leeleeFL

    Thanks for letting us know,Betty!  Hope you find a lovely place to bug out to, and you can feel like it’s a mini-vacay!  It still sucks!  Keep your heart and your bags light, so going home is easy and fast!  Hugs to all!

  25. 25.

    Elizabelle

    It is always something, but you will cope.  And doggos will do something blogworthy wherever you land.  Hoping disruption stays manageable.  Hugs.

  26. 26.

    Kay

    When you gets needs sorted out, look at politics Tik Tok – just dip a toe in for amusing distraction

    It’s funny (but passionate!)

    They cancelled this southern lady called “Momma Tot” because she supports Trump – her creator persona was like “loving grandma” but obviously that’s all shot to hell now with the admission that she supports Trump

    They also canceled Bethany Frankel (real housewives) because Frankel sneered at Kamala Harris

    Theyre really young and they don’t take themselves too seriously but they are out there battling! :)

  28. 28.

    SiubhanDuinne

    [Shakes fist angrily at Universe]  Hey, Universe! You feckless thug!! Think you could leave the Cracker family alone for a while and turn your attention to some other Florida residents? I have a few suggestions….

  29. 29.

    Lyrebird

    Hi Betty C!

    Wishing you a temporary lodging that is super dog friendly (you can put a hyphen in either gap, up to you) and that has at least one lovely view.

  31. 31.

    NotMax

    Fingers and toes crossed you find someplace dry as temporary digs.

    Dunno if you have home mail delivery. If so, a stop by the post office to have them hold your mail for pickup there sounds to be warranted.

  32. 32.

    kindness

    I’m so sorry Betty.  It’s a case of when it rains it pours.  Course if you stick around you could feed gators straight off your porch.  Then again that’s more Florida Man/Woman than you and yours.  Bless you what ever happens.

  33. 33.

    Yarrow

    Sorry to hear this, Betty. Hurricanes just suck. Hopefully you won’t be displaced long and your house and property will be just fine. Maybe time for a mini vacation, if you feel up to that?

  34. 34.

    Two rabbits

    @m.j.:

    Greasy, grimy, gopher guts.

    I remember that line, but not the gator balls one.  A later line was

    “and I forgot my spoon”

    :-)

  35. 35.

    CaseyL

    Dammit; I am sorry you have to go through yet more crap.

    If the river crests in 2 weeks, does that mean it needs another 2 weeks to go down?  Or is that part of Nature’s Schedule still undetermined?

    You’ll probably need to rent something for, what, 2-4 weeks?  With a yard for the doggies?  With everyone else on the river/swamp also looking to relocate for an extended period of time?

    What a logistical nightmare.  I wonder if it makes sense to look into a VRBO house for the full duration, maybe up in the panhandle west of Tallahassee?

    And to amuse yourself on the road, you might lay in a supply of Harris-Walz signs, and post them anonymously all along the highway  😀

  37. 37.

    Jackie

    @CaseyL:

    And to amuse yourself on the road, you might lay in a supply of Harris-Walz signs, and post them anonymously all along the highway  😀

    Maybe plant one in Pudd’n Boot’s yard! And, Ricky Scott’s and Gaetz’s… 🤭

  38. 38.

    EarthWindFire

    Another reason to be happy to put 2024 in the rear view mirror. I’m sorry, Betty. I hope your temporary home has all the comforts of your real one.

  40. 40.

    geg6

    God dammit!  So sorry you have to go through this after what you’ve already been through. {{hugs}}

  41. 41.

    Two rabbits

    Betty, sorry about your high water situation!  At least it sounds like you have a sensible setup there to minimize damages.

    Oh, is that PFDs in that photo, or your “go-bags”?     Looks like your preps are current – if something comes in on the road, you can quickly make a river escape!

    We dropped off the ballots at township hall drop box Saturday evening.  They finally showed up as received Wednesday night and Thursday morning.  Four black dots for me this cycle. Straight D and 3 non-partisan positions.

    Now my big goal is to keep my heart beating until Nov 6. I think comatose and generally missing is OK.  It really surprised me a few years back when I found out the Michigan clerks actively looked for deaths after absentee ballots until Election Day.

  42. 42.

    Sure Lurkalot

    I’m so sorry you need to take a vacation from your home for a spell, especially when you find so much peace and comfort there.

    Hope you find something interesting and fun about this break in routine.

  43. 43.

    trollhattan

    Some positive news about flowing waters.

    Oct. 17, 2024

    KLAMATH FALLS, Ore. – On October 16, a fall-run Chinook salmon was identified by ODFW’s fish biologists in a tributary to the Klamath River above the former J.C. Boyle Dam, becoming the first anadromous fish to return to the Klamath Basin in Oregon since 1912 when the first of four hydroelectric dams was constructed, blocking migration.

    The salmon and others likely traveled about 230 miles from the Pacific ocean to reach the tributary only months after four Klamath River dams were removed to ensure fish passage from California to Oregon.

    “This is an exciting and historic development in the Klamath Basin that demonstrates the resiliency of salmon and steelhead,” said ODFW Director Debbie Colbert. “It also inspires us to continue restoration work in the upper basin. I want to thank everyone that has contributed to this effort over the last two decades.”

    “The return of our relatives the c’iyaal’s is overwhelming for our tribe. This is what our members worked for and believed in for so many decades,” said Roberta Frost, Klamath Tribes Secretary. “I want to honor that work and thank them for their persistence in the face of what felt like an unmovable obstacle. The salmon are just like our tribal people, and they know where home is and returned as soon as they were able,” added Frost.

    Fish biologists have been surveying the Klamath River and tributaries since dam removal as part of the agency’s responsibility to monitor the repopulation of anadromous fish speciesto the basin in collaboration with The Klamath Tribes.

    Mark Hereford, ODFW’s Klamath Fisheries Reintroduction Project Leader, was part of the survey team that identified the fall-run Chinook. His team was ecstatic when they saw the first salmon.

    “We saw a large fish the day before rise to surface in the Klamath River, but we only saw a dorsal fin,” said Hereford. “I thought, was that a salmon or maybe it was a very large rainbow trout?” Once the team returned on Oct. 16 and 17, they were able to confirm that salmon were in the tributary.

    Here it be: https://dfw.state.or.us/news/images/2024/Oct_16_2024_Fall-run_Chinook_Salmon_Klamath_River_Oregon_01_ODFW_photo.jpg

  45. 45.

    Maxim

    Fuuuuuuccccckkkk. So sorry, Betty. I hope you find a suitable temporary spot quickly and that it all goes as smoothly as possible.

    @m.j.: I hadn’t thought of that song in decades. The version I heard was “Great green gobs of gooey gushy gopher guts.”

  46. 46.

    Msb

    Wishing you to find a suitable short-term nest for all family members, two-footed and four-footed!

  47. 47.

    frosty

    Imma have to do it for you forgetful geezers:

    Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts

    Mutilated monkey meat

    Concentrated birdie feet

    One quart jar of all-purpose porpoise pus

    And me without a spoon!

    Ok, that’s done with. BC, I’m sorry to see you going through this slow rising flood. I hope it subsides soon and you and the pups aren’t away from your beautiful porch view too long. We’ll be thinking of you.

  49. 49.

    Traveller

    I also am sorry to see these new troubles…and yet, I do look forward to anything you write, As an inspiration on how the rest of us should live and confront difficulties. So you be well, we need you…

  50. 50.

    J.

    UGH. As if you guys hadn’t been through enough. Hope you found a place to roost for a while and you’re able to return to a not-too-waterlogged home soon!

  53. 53.

    Raoul Paste

    I half-expected a Non-Liquid-Dog-Yard Fund to appear, and I’ll continue to watch for it.    Yes, we can work to save the country, but first you take care of your own.
    If I’m out of line, I apologize.

  54. 54.

    Old School

    @WaterGirl:

    Dear Universe,

    Betty could use a fucking break.  Please,

    Wait – WaterGirl is taking the side against water?!?!

    It’s madness!

    Betty – I hope the river drops soon and you are back home quickly!

  56. 56.

    HumboldtBlue

    Well, goddamn, Betty, here I am buying a new car for my birthday and you have to evacuate.

    Here’s hoping your impromptu journey is short and you’re home soon.

  57. 57.

    Maxim

    @frosty:

    Great big gobs of greasy grimy gooey gushy gopher guts

    Mutilated monkey meat

    Concentrated birdie feet Chopped-up baby parakeets

    FTFY

  58. 58.

    Gvg

    Sorry this happened. I guess you are tethered by Bills job and the availability of rentals, which might be a tad short because of everyone else impacted by storms. I hope you find something that will be a pleasant memory.

  60. 60.

    TBone

    Ugh, sorry to hear about the unplanned evacuation.  Sending very dry best wishes for a speedy homecoming!

  61. 61.

    MazeDancer

    No!!! Not fair.

    Maybe go somewhere lovely to reward yourself?

    Or rent a Class A RV and hit the road?

    Can you leave many dehumidifiers running to prevent mold? Or is power iffy?

    Never thought it would be a good thing to be high and dry, but reconsidering.

    May you be snug and comfortable soon..

  64. 64.

    Kosh III

    Sooo sorry Betty. I totally empathize as we had 2 ft of water in our house in Nashville in 2010.

    Hang in there!

    And frak The Felon!

  66. 66.

    CatRadio

    Adding my voice to say so sorry you need to leave your home, fingers crossed that it’s temporary but stress is a shameless visitor these days. Take care, breathe deep, stay safe!

  67. 67.

    lowtechcyclist

    @frosty:

    And me without a spoon!

    The way we sang the ending was:

    “and me without a fork (but with a spoon)”

    with the parenthetical being sung the way you’d sing “good evening friends.”

  68. 68.

    lowtechcyclist

    Sorry to hear you, Bill, and the doggos have to relocate for a while – hope it’s not too long, and that there’s not too much mud in or water damage to the game room/storage area.  Thank goodness your living area is well above the rising waters!

    I bet just trying to find a place that takes dogs, is within commuting distance for Bill, has enough room so you don’t drive each other nuts in the first few days, and doesn’t cost a small fortune, is a major fucking headache right now, especially with so many other people having had to relocate.  Hoping there’s some miraculously perfect solution for you all.

  69. 69.

    Miki

    Ugh. Stepping out on a limb here but Imma gonna say 2024 is the year it sucks to be you.

    This, too, will soonly pass under the bridge once it has a place to go, leaving behind a pile of stink that will rival the particular testicular odor of a certain Orange Shitgibbon soon to be sent on his way. You are a temporarily discomforted flood refugee (been there, done that circa 1965 in Frostbite Falls). But water, like shit, will always run off downhill.

    Can’t wait to join you on that porch again and view your incredible natural yard art.

    Hugs to you and Bill and the doggos.

  71. 71.

    laura

    For some reason, I’m imagining you rolling the pups up in newspapers and stacking them in the backseat of your getaway vehicle based upon a foggy recollection of storms of the past. I sincerely wish for a very brief and uncomplicated decampment to drier or higher grounds and swift return to your sanctuary in the swamp.

  73. 73.

    CaseyL

    Oh, all right.

    Here’s the version I knew:

    Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
    Mutilated monkey meat
    Little birdies’ dirty feet
    All put together with all-purpose porpoise pus
    And that’s what a Kool Pop is!
    And I forgot my spoon (got a fork?)

  74. 74.

    Another Scott

    Yikes!  :-(

    Looking at the weather radar maps, I see several green areas with flood warnings.  :-(

    If it’s any consolation, there are 4 alerts including a coastal flood advisory for Mar-a-lago. (Man that’s an ugly URL – I hope it doesn’t break the blog…)

    Fingers crossed for you and yours, Ms. Cracker. I hope the cleanup is easy, and that there is some joy to be found while you’re away from home.

    Best wishes,
    Scott.

  79. 79.

    Nukular Biskits

    Sorry to hear that, BettyC.

    Not that you need me lecturing you on this, but it just demonstrates once again that the impact of a major tropical storm continues LONG after it’s already passed, even if you didn’t experience a “direct hit”.

    Best of luck!

  81. 81.

    Helena J Montana

    Life on the river, it’s wonderful until it’s not.   Wishing a wonderful temporary perch with great neighbors for you, and a not terrible cleanup job when you get back.

  82. 82.

    Denali5

    Thinking of you and Bill and the doggies  during this stressful time. Keep us posted as to how things are going!  Hope you are back home as soon as possible.

  83. 83.

    Mai Naem mobile

    This has to suck big time but at least you, Bill and the pups are okay so TSM for some blessings.

  84. 84.

    Torrey

    That’s a wretched situation. I hope you find a good place to shelter with the pups. You have an amazing ability to see the humor in a situation that would leave lesser people crying in their beer and TFCFG whining that Milton had always hated Trump and had treated him very unfairly. While swaying. Out of time to the music.

  86. 86.

    The Audacity of Krope

    @WaterGirl: I was brought up Catholic, but after listening to other religions and philosophies, I’ve come to the conclusion god is all, period. This suggests that your initials, themselves, are an aspect of god.

  87. 87.

    sab

    My stepdaughter does insurance adjustment for catastrophes, mostly in the South. With hurricanes it is always best to get your vehicles to higher dryer ground even if your house is on stilts.

  88. 88.

    The Audacity of Krope

    @sab: In the event of an unanticipated flood, your Cybertruck will (not) serve as a flotation device.

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