Alrighty- let’s talk about something else. I am currently packing the car for my trip to Arizona that starts tomorrow or Friday morning depending on whether I still feel like driving tomorrow, and wouldn’t you know it that despite it not raining for several months here I no more than put the back seats down and lifted the hatch back but it started to rain. Because of fucking course we did.
So let’s play a fun game and try to figure out what the fuck I am going to forget to pack.
And on a serious note, if any of you are considering self-harm or doing something rash, please reach out to someone. That is not the answer. Simply pick up your phone and dial 988 to reach help. Please. Do it for me if no one else.
Baud
The mustard.
Layer8Problem
” . . . if any of you are considering self-harm or doing something rash, please reach out to someone. That is not the answer. Simply pick up your phone and dial 988 to reach help. Please. Do it for me if no one else.”
Thank you for this. There are people out there who we aren’t hearing from who feel as bad, without support.
cope
The apples
Chris
Just don’t forget to pack any pets.
I have a friend who’s forgotten his dog repeatedly at our place and that we rib mercilessly for it. (It’s mostly because the dog likes being here, because he has two other dogs to play with, so whenever he senses that they’re packing up he makes himself as quiet as a mouse and hopes his humans forget about him. Sometimes it pays off).
Jackie
Clothes. I recall you not packing your cargo shorts your last trip.
eta: Maybe you left clothes in Arizona; but since you’ve lost weight, will those fit? In that case, pack belts and/or suspenders. 😁
Old School
You’re going to forget your wallet.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
Your pants
schrodingers_cat
Biden moved left and was punished for it both by the left and the right and the establishment (media, business etc) That’s the lesson of this defeat
Sure Lurkalot
Don’t come through Colorado. After a long Indian summer and weeks without precip, we’ve got six inches of snow in Denver, more all day and up to 3’ in the mountains.
Otherwise, drive safely to the love of your life and hold each other tightly.
TaMara
I am staying in a complete blackout bubble today, but this is worth uncloaking.
Seriously, reach out. We need you.
Bruce K in ATH-GR
Keys.
Not even joking here.
Jackie
@schrodingers_cat: Wrong thread for this post.
schrodingers_cat
@Jackie: Pie me.
lowtechcyclist
Your inhibitions.
Your common sense.
Your sanity.
Your toenail clippers.
WereBear
I put my quatloos on PANTS
Quinerly
Wi called for Tammy Baldwin.
Trollhattan
@Quinerly: Thank goodness.
Quinerly
@Trollhattan:
A mystery to me in that Trump took WI….another split ticket situation.
WereBear
kittens
kwAwk
Trump hates being President. He doesn’t like government. He doesn’t like policy. All he has ever wanted was attention. Stop giving it to him and not only will he melt down, he’ll be the most miserable motherfucker in the world for the next 4 years.
Quinerly
@WereBear:
Deleted
Dorothy A. Winsor
To distract myself, I started reading the next book for my book club. It is so bad. I’m so not a romance reader. To me, it feels like nothing is happening.
mrmoshpotato
Remember to pack your sanity for the slog across Kansas.
Dorothy A. Winsor
I see Ruben Gallego won his Senate seat.
Baud
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
That’s good.
pat
@Quinerly:
Tammy Baldwin, great!
Something good coming out of WI.
And Ruben Gallego.!
Quinerly
John, big snow/ice storm coming thru NM. Not sure of your route. Be safe.
Chief Oshkosh
I wonder what Biden is up to today. Anybody heard anything?
Kelly
Here’s Daisy eating lunch from her new puzzle dish. We froze her lunch into it overnight. Great for teething. The green ball next to also has places to hide treats. We now have a have 4 puzzle feeders. Keeps a border collie on her toes.
https://bsky.app/profile/northsantiam.bsky.social/post/3lacgs5ewu327
Here’s Daisy welcoming us home from our 2 story back porch. She’s fenced into both levels plus the stairs so she has a nice place to hang out while we’re away. I posted this yesterday.
https://bsky.app/profile/northsantiam.bsky.social/post/3laanpfxh4y2m
different-church-lady
I guess I freaked some people out eight years ago, and I don’t think I’ve sufficiently apologized for that.
I got through the night somehow, then took a loooooooooong break from all news and internet.
I can tell you first hand: no matter how despairing you feel today, don’t give in to it. Yes, it’s very bad and frightening, but it’s not your fault and you shouldn’t let the fear lie you into destroying yourself. Talk here, and talk to others. You are not alone.
WereBear
Be sure to cuddle all the critters before you go.
scav
Some critical part of either cables or chargers.
Off to cosplay my new career as an anchorite (atheist branch). May turn pro.
Quinerly
@WereBear: you are very much on target. I deleted my comment when your comment turned to kittens. Realized that this thread should be only about Cole and his trip
Quinerly
@Chief Oshkosh: no statements. Harris called Trump. She is to make a public statement soon.
mrmoshpotato
Deleted. Taking Quinerly’s advice.
RaflW
I’m going snowboarding next week. Won’t be very many trails open, but 1) I need to be outside and active and 2) Colorado is a rare bright spot — in some ways, literally: MN gets really cloudy in November and my SAD can’t handle it. The rockies either get snow, which is white and bright, or the sun is out, shining on that white n bright.
Josie
John, what was it you forgot when you went on the trip with Angry Black Lady? Wasn’t it pants? Make a list and check it twice.
WereBear
@Quinerly: Or things we are looking forward to.
I got the first three chapters of a book done recently, even with the mayhem, so I was already going to focus on that for a while.
Even more, now. Might stick to the library and my local writer’s lounge (I’m a member) for a while. Cheaper and more private than coffeehouse. Both are lovely spaces with big windows, couches, and wifi.
I’ve been overwhelmed with a move, but while we are more consolidated, we dropped our expenses. Ebooks have turned my bookcases into storage units.
From the many storage containers designed for bookcases, I’m not the only one. I’m books & music, always, but now… they fit on my phone.
Joy in FL
John, I wish you safe traveling. I really hope you will continue to post frequently. I like seeing what you’re up to and reading whatever you feel like sharing.
Joy in FL
@different-church-lady: This is so helpful.
Thank you especially for that 3rd paragraph: “I can tell you first hand: no matter how despairing you feel today, don’t give in to it. Yes, it’s very bad and frightening, but it’s not your fault and you shouldn’t let the fear lie you into destroying yourself. Talk here, and talk to others. You are not alone.” comment #30
HeleninEire
@Quinerly: You’re still up? Me too. I’m not even feeling tired. Or hungry.
dm
I am told it is a Russian folk tradition, when about to start on a trip, to sit quietly in your vehicle for a few minutes, and just let your mind wander.
Hopefully, your mind will wander to the place where the things you forgot to pack are.
Phylllis
@Josie: Then he’ll be like me and forget the list. And yes, he had to buy pants when he got to Charlotte for the DNC.
bbleh
Also too, the flip side of the OP and several comments: if you know someone you think may be feeling alone, scared, whatever, who hasn’t reached out to you, go ahead and reach out to them. Just check in, say hi, ask how they’re doing, offer a few banalities, give them an ear if they want to talk, and let them know you’re there and to contact you if they want. That can really mean a lot to someone in a dark place.
Belafon
@dm: I’d heard that when families would pack up to move west in the 1800s, they would spend a day roughly 10 or so miles from where they started to see if they were missing anything.
sab
@WereBear: Are you sure that one cannot have too many cats? I dearly love my two new guys already, but some of the prior guys are being kind of assholes.
WereBear
@dm: I use that method! Did not know it was Russian.
zhena gogolia
@WereBear: Originally it was supposed to be in your home. Everyone leaving on a trip would sit in a circle silently for a few moments. I guess now people do it in their cars? (I know we did the last time we went somewhere, because we forgot to do it in the house.)
different-church-lady
@sab: DCL’s rule of pets and children: never let them outnumber the adults in the household.
WereBear
@sab: They do have to get along. I’ve got a lot of miffied kitties in my latest blog posts (my nym). Cats don’t like stresses… in my case, moving. Sometimes they blame each other.
Might find some help there. Half of them are free, just search for the subject and open up several. One might help.
Melancholy Jaques
Personal non-political stuff that I hope is not TMI.
I am only now emerging from a long summer/fall of medical adventures that began with a heart attack in June, then a triple bypass in August, and now cardiac rehab to regain all kinds of wonderful strength according to the plan. The whole adventure has been startling and at times overwhelming, but I’m here and I’m alive thanks to the many people who make up our health care system. I cannot talk about how well I was treated without beginning to cry. They were all really that awesome.
I missed a lot of what went on here and in the world because of this. For example, when Biden was having his bad night, I was in the ICU at UCLA. I (thankfully) missed the apparent civil war that erupted among the people here, including some people that I read and enjoy the most.
I was planning on retiring but did not because I wanted my health insurance to stay the same. So now I am set to return to work as a substitute teacher, working as little as possible, until I finish all this medical stuff and retire, hopefully some time before I turn 70 in March.
Right now I could use some recommendations for absorbing movies and series available for streaming so that I can do something besides sit & stew over recent events. I have novels but right now I have trouble concentrating on reading. I want to say fuck it & fuck everybody but I don’t think it’s in me to do that for more than a few weeks.
Quinerly
@HeleninEire: been awake since 4 AM yesterday. Just ate some Tiramasu from Costco.
Quinerly
@WereBear:
Hang in there. Hugs. I enjoy your comments here.
zhena gogolia
@Melancholy Jaques: Did you ever watch Mad Men? I never did, but last year I watched the whole thing on Amazon Prime.
Bleak House (2005) is excellent.
Mike E
@Baud: what field he parked the Subaru in
WereBear
@Quinerly: Hugs back. :)
mrmoshpotato
@different-church-lady: Good rule.
sab
@different-church-lady: How does that even work? I was one of four children (but my parents believed in boarding school.) My husband was fifth of six kids.
Mai Naem mobile
Don’t bother bringing a jacket or thick sweater or hoodie. The weather here has decided to never cool down.
mrmoshpotato
Don’t forget swim trunks!
CANNONBALL!
Sister Golden Bear
The mop.
twbrandt
@Melancholy Jaques: I had a triple bypass a couple of years ago. The first few weeks and months following sucked. But I’m now in much better shape than I was before. Stick with the rehab, watch what you eat, stay active, and you’ll be fine.
Good luck!
Mel
@Kelly: She is so beautiful. Such soulful eyes.
Burrowing Owl
@Melancholy Jaques: sounds like you’ve been through a lot—I’m glad you recovered.
If you haven’t watched The Good Place, we really enjoyed it.
Mel
Don’t forget some healthy snacks for the drive. And in case of bizarre unforeseen emergencies, an empty jug or bottle with a (very!) secure lid in case you need to pee in an unsafe but isolated place (looking at you, blown tire in rural West Virginia mountains during a snowstorm in the middle of the night…)
Ohio Mom
@Melancholy Jaques: I have no suggestions for you, just want to say I am happy for you for your return to health and well-being.
Mel
@Melancholy Jaques: Better Off Ted, with Portia de Rossi, is an older show but is so good.
I’m so glad that you are on the mend.
Mel
@Sister Golden Bear: Seconded!
Ohio Mom
Eh. There’s very little you can forget to pack that can’t be replaced with a stop at Target. The irreplaceables are pets, wallet/keys, prescription drugs, prescription eyeglasses. Oh, and the cell phone. That’s all I can think of.
Quinerly
@WereBear: 💚
mrmoshpotato
@Burrowing Owl:
@Melancholy Jaques: Seconded! It’s a great series!
Quinerly
Harris speaking.
Melancholy Jaques
@Burrowing Owl:
Thank you and everyone for your kind thoughts.
I forgot about The Good Place. I’ve heard good things and I will give it a try.
Geminid
I wish you a safe and happy trip, Mr. Cole.
If you think of it, please shoot us some pics. I’ve been itching for a trip out West for a while now, but looking at yours would be the closest I get this year.
Yarrow
I consider this every day. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last couple of year its that when you need help and ask for it, the people who say they’ll be there for you won’t. I no longer ask.
SomeRandomGuy
@TaMara: um.
I know some folks who really hate the “we need you” statement, however true it feels to you, however deeply you mean it. And I want to talk from the POV of the chronically depressed, which is not intended to disparage you, or what you said, but, just to provide a perspective that might help. That’s what I’m trying to do, but I’m cranky and in pain, so, if I slip, I really do apologize.
Where was I? Right: I’m not saying you shouldn’t say anything like that, or shouldn’t have said it, but, it’s a complicated thing.
I’m in constant pain, and it cripples my brain. So, my defiant, factual-shithead-self responds with nastiness to the effect of, you don’t even know me, won’t even know if I’m gone. Now, a lot of that is from pain, and PTSD, but, it’s a reaction you could get in real life – other people have pain and PTSD and so on, so, you should be aware of it.
(Um. I hope you took the “shithead” as pre-apology, and not self-denigration – my merely factual self knows not to say something so nasty.)
The other is, “we need you” is a bit of a guilt trip, “live *your* life on *my* behalf.” I always knew that was bogus, but it wasn’t until I realized that, wow, I’m in constant pain, that I understood *why* I knew it was bogus. I don’t mean constant pain is a reason to end one’s life – but it’s a damn good reason to feel a bit put out at the guilt-trippiness of “oh, live for the sunshine that hurts your eyes, the rainbows you’ll never see, the kittens you can’t play with, the friends you don’t have and can’t make, the sex you can’t have, the meals you can’t eat, because WE NEED YOU.”
If you haven’t been *really* depressed, like, “seriously, wouldn’t it possibly be *better* to be dead?” you might not be able to understand how such a bland statement could feel so hurtful. And, again, I’m not trying to scold here, I’m just… trying to explain, so, if someone ever gets hurt, you have a better shot at understanding why.
Folks, I won’t say I need you, but I know someone does. They need you alive, and so do I. Nothing hurts much worse than knowing someone out there might need someone like me, and I couldn’t step up. I bet a lot of you feel the same way, so, if you’re at the end of your rope, remember: step up for yourself, as long as you can, but the moment you can’t – yeah. Get help. Because, again, you’d probably step up for someone else – don’t steal that right, that chance to step up, from someone. You can always wait, just a bit longer, until you’ve gotten to safety. So do that. Listen to Freddy Mercury, and keep your self alive.
Because I can promise you this: we all *want* you to. We’ll have enough to mourn without the loss of friends, including those friends we ain’t met yet, eh, stranger?
Juju
@Quinerly: She was exactly the composed, empathetic, thoughtful person we’ve come to except. She would have been a great president.
Thank you for helping me get through the night last night. I still can’t believe the way things turned out, but there have been some bright spots. I will say I don’t understand the NC electorate. All of the council of state jobs went blue. So black Nazi bad, white Nazi ok. I feel a bit better, but not remarkably so.
Portly Neighbor
John, can you hang on for a couple of days? I’m about to head down to Arizona, pick up Thurston, and drive him to Bethany so you wouldn’t be lonely on your trip. I’m on my way!
Juju
@Melancholy Jaques: When you feel 100% will you change your name to Heureux Jacques?
Juju
@Yarrow: Awe. I still have that spare room.
SomeRandomGuy
@Yarrow: Some of us understand the solemnity of the promise. Alas, not everyone does.
I used to make a joke, like, the love of my life shows up at my door, and says, it’s always been ME, so, lets go to bed and have the amazing sex we always had, and she’ll tell her betrothed shes’ sorry… and the phone rings.
It’s *that* call.
Ten minutes later, I’m telling a depressed friend, “there’s a wedding tomorrow – wanna crash and see if they have an open bar?”
The real punchline, of course, is, if she really was *THE ONE*, she’d be by my side, or in the other room, ordering pizza and making coffee. Because what kind of a woman could love me, and not realize I *have* to answer that call?
I hope you someday have someone you can ask – and I hope you don’t need to. Yeah, I know, that and ten bucks and you can have burger and fries at McDs, but, it is sincere. Everyone should have someone who truly understands them, and has their back.
SomeRandomGuy
@Melancholy Jaques: I’ll add to the recommendations for The Good Place. Netflix did a good send-up of A Series of Unfortunate Events if kids fare doesn’t drag you down. The Umbrella Academy was also a great series, though a bit Ouroboros-y.
Gloria DryGarden
@Sure Lurkalot: we have 6” already? Oh man. My weather underground says we’re getting6” on Friday.
i am not ready.