Same thing I said to my kids 8 years ago:
We are engaged in a fight to make our communities, our country, and our world better.
The fight was never ours to win and damn sure never ours to surrender. We fight. Over and over, and over again to the end of our days, and our children and grandchildren after us.
So take the day to mourn and weep without shame if you need to. It’s human.
But you get ONE day. Because the fight doesn’t ever stop, and we need you back in the line.
Oh, and literally EVERY WORD John said here: https://balloon-juice.com/2024/11/06/some-post-loss-decorum/
Old School
Thanks for this.
different-church-lady
Glad to see you again Sooner
Baud
Good to see you, even under difficult circumstances.
HeleninEire
Nice to see you.
Yarrow
Good to see you again. Sorry, I have no fight left.
Soonergrunt
@Yarrow: Natural to feel that way, and completely understandable.
But you have strength you don’t know. You’ll have it when you’re ready.
schrodingers_cat
Good to see you again.
BTW a bunch of us commenters are doing a Zoom tonight at 8pm to commiserate if you would like to join send me an email at [email protected] for the link and mention your BJ nym. Thanks.
schrodingers_cat
@Soonergrunt: I am tired of being the strong one.
Layer8Problem
Happy to see your nym again. We have to find better occasions.
comrade scotts agenda of rage
Nice to have you back for a cameo!
You’ve just characterized how the base of the Democratic Party, black women, will react and respond over the next four years.
Others on the left side of the political spectrum need to take their lead from the base.
Layer8Problem
@schrodingers_cat: That’s a great idea. I wish I wasn’t out at a class tonight.
Rose Judson
@Soonergrunt: Are you back for a while, or is this a one-off?
Yarrow
@Soonergrunt: No. I’ve been through too much over the last several years. It has been upending in ways I cannot describe. I am exhausted beyond measure. I am done. I truly have nothing left.
nickdag
Truly, the fight never ends.
I lived abroad for several years, with one of the reasons of this voluntary experience to see how other cultures could be different and do it better than my own.
At the 1 year mark, I found myself despondent. I found all the same failures and vices that I had found in my own American people, and this awareness made me profoundly sad. There was no magical trait, no silver bullet to a better human nature.
It was only at the 2 year mark when I began to accept and actually find some strange peace, hope, and even a sort of happiness in the realization that this is the purpose of life. It is to wake every day and push forward with whatever energy and focus you can.
In a very odd sense, why not rejoice in the nature of life’s work, beset by constant setbacks but an astonishing evolution over time?
With that said, I’m certainly not feeling very zen today or doing any rejoicing. This. This is hard. We had a dream of jumping and finally making it across the chasm of our culture’s past, and instead we find ourselves hanging on by our fingernails and falling into the shadows of the abyss. Postponing that dream and realizing it won’t be tomorrow is deeply painful, but I believe letting go of — for now — is the first step to move on today.
zhena gogolia
@nickdag: Great comment.
J. Arthur Crank
Good to “see” you again. I have three classes on Wednesdays, so I have some distraction for a while. I will be comparatively well off, but I have to be strong for those around me to are not as well off.
Jackie
Good to see your nym and hear from you! Thanks for thinking of us!😊
schrodingers_cat
@Layer8Problem: You can join in a bit late you don’t have to be there on the dot.
Layer8Problem
@schrodingers_cat: I won’t be home until 10 and will probably have the sentience of wet kleenex.
schrodingers_cat
@Layer8Problem: Okay we may do this again. Email me if you would like to join. We have to support each other.
Soonergrunt
@Rose Judson: don’t know yet. I’ve got a lot of irons in the fire and I gotta keep ’em turning evenly, but I also have a lot to yell into the void right now.
Soonergrunt
@schrodingers_cat: what timezone?
storm777
@nickdag: Thanks for this. The fight never ends. I got an email this afternoon from Democracy Forward. I donated to them some weeks (months?) ago at the suggestion of someone here. They are already planning their next steps — to file court cases over little and big thing by the next administration. This is one action we can take — support the lawyers who will object to flagrant abuses. I plan to continue helping them.
Thanks, Soonergrunt. Happy to see you here.
Ph64n
Ah, the wars they will be fought again
The holy dove, she will be caught again
Bought and sold, and bought again
The dove is never free
— Leonard Cohen, Anthem
schrodingers_cat
@Soonergrunt: 8pm eastern.
Anne Laurie
Thanks for the fighting words, Soonergrunt!
kalakal
Well said. The thing about life is it goes on.
Avalie
Good to see you again from another former Sooner
Omnes Omnibus
A lot of us will be surprised at the strength we still have left. Take the time you need. We have to be in this for the long haul. The will be stuff to do when you are ready again.
Glyph2112
So 20 million voters stayed home because Joe Biden fixed the economy and was boring, so didn’t feel the urge to keep Trump from a second term. I guess they only care when it ACTUALLY affects them.
Probably be back in 2028 after he destroys America.
different-church-lady
@kalakal: If you’re lucky, yeah.
geg6
@schrodingers_cat:
I wish I could join but I just can’t. It’s all too much right now. I have one sister hospitalized for the 16th (literally) time since August and a brother, brain damaged from a fall in July and in a rehab center, whose cancer has come back and whose doctor has called to say we need to bring in hospice. And I currently have a backhoe in my front yard to dig up our collapsed sewer line. We’ll be peeing and pooping in a camping toilet and washing with wipes the next few days. Then this election on top of it all. And I desperately want to cry but can’t.
zhena gogolia
@geg6: Oh, God, that is a lot. Strength to you.
schrodingers_cat
@geg6: That’s rough.
artem1s
for those who can – time to think about how you can talk with your pocketbook. Withhold your discretionary dollars. cancel those streaming subscriptions. put off vacations. stop eating out (at least at chains and fast food). never, ever order from Amazon – go directly to the source. Stop streaming any Amazon content. Home improvement – delay them – supply chains are going to drive construction materials thru the roof anyway. Delete every social media account you have. Don’t give their advertisers any views. Access your local library for entertainment content. Ad block liberally. Contribute time to Wikipedia. Move your money into FDIC secured savings accounts or fixed income bonds and dividend producing stocks. Withhold, withhold, withhold, withhold.
If the poorest among us have to make due without healthcare, a living wage, and housing, I can do without certain conveniences too. I spent the four orange annus horribilis years and most of COVID pinching every penny and paying down every debt. When the GOP crashes the economy next time – I’ll be free and clear of debt. I’ll spend the next four withholding every cent I can from this economy. I done with having my life derailed by these assholes twice a decade. Fuck their experience economy. I can experience life without the hassle of their hatred and bullshit. They want my eyes, money and time – they can pay me premiums and then I’ll still tell them to fuck off when the free trial is over.
Ruckus
@nickdag:
See, many think this is American humanity.
But it isn’t.
This is humanity. Some sides think they should be in charge and the only one’s on the planet. However if that came to be they would find in very short time that they depend, in a modern world, on all the people they hate and want to see gone, for things like food and and actually much of modern life. The people that do the work that doesn’t use a pen/paper or a computer all day. A lot of it is back breaking, getting one’s hands dirty, not suit and dress work. I used to make tools that others used to make a lot of the things they use every day. Milk/juice bottles for example. Other things that you use around the house every day, Things for your car, or computer stuff like that, like current day phone cases or on and on and…..
I am of course not the only person to do that a lot of people work to make the modern world a better, more livable place in many, many ways. Likely some of the people that think they are better than anyone else and voted for shitforbrains – again. I hope this country gets through this – again.
I have no clues or ideas on who, what, why, how, when. Survive and go from there is all I’ve got. But expect shit. In massive truck loads.
Eolirin
@kalakal: Omnes Omnibus:
I don’t expect to survive too long if I stay here.
It’s more a when then an if they start rounding us up.
But the way the rest of the world is going, I don’t think I’ll be safe anywhere else for all that long either.
cain
Looks like those Jan 6th people are going to get their pardon after all, eh? I hope he doesn’t.
lowtechcyclist
@Ph64n:
It’s times like these when Leonard Cohen is essential. Thanks for sharing.
Glyph2112
@cain: And there won’t be one news story about how Trump is anti law and order. I really hope Biden pardons Hunter on his way out the door, sure magats will have a fit over that.
frosty
@Layer8Problem: sentience of weak kleenex? Compadre!!!
Quinerly
@cain: I think those pardons are a given. After all, he told the voters that and 51% of voters voted for it.
It’s the voters’ decision.
frosty
@geg6: OMG that’s a heavy load. Especially the damn sewer repair on top of all the other issues.
Eolirin
@Quinerly: I think if there’s anyone competent pulling the strings, they’ll be pushing for pardons.
Can’t get the violent mob to show up when you need it to if you don’t keep the violent mob protected.
cain
@Glyph2112: He should do it.
In any case, a lot of crimes are gonna get forgiven.
That’s unfortunate. Because those people are going to come back into the populace and they are going to be really angry.
bbleh
Ain’t a lot can be done right at the moment anyway. Chill out, repair yourselves, tend to your family and your friends, be nice to your neighbors and the people you encounter during the day. There are a LOT of us, we’re not going away, and all is DEFINITELY not lost! (Reproductive rights voter initiatives, several Senate and Governor races and … mmmaybe the House?) Courage.
frosty
Good to see your nym again, Soonergrunt.
lowtechcyclist
@Omnes Omnibus:
Yeah, some of us will need more than a day. In the wise words of Arthur Dent:
“Who said anything about panicking? This is still just the culture shock. You wait till I’ve settled down into the situation and found my bearings. Then I’ll start panicking!”
;-)
Barbara
@geg6: Sending thoughts for strength in such challenging circumstances.
frosty
Ha! Not a fucken chance. They’re the reason I can’t put out a yard sign for the candidates I’m supporting.
Quinerly
@Eolirin: those pardons truly were a campaign promise…..with musical accompaniment. (J 6 Choir).
I think they will be pardoned on day 1.
The shit smearing violent insurrection has been memory holed. Now that Afghanistan withdrawal plan, drawn up under Trump, and tied to Biden….that is an entirely different issue.
Elizabelle
Thank you, sooner. And scritches to Freddie.
Elizabelle
@geg6: Sending hugs. I am so sorry.
Suzanne
@Yarrow: You know, you don’t have to fight. You can just exist, just be in solidarity, if that offers any solace.
Quinerly
53% of all voters view Trump unfavorably.
9% of that 53% voted for him
Exit polling. MSNBC
The country wanted Trump.
Suzanne
@geg6: Hugs. That’s a lot.
Geminid
@Quinerly: The two Republicans I interact with voted for Trump even though they don’t like him. They were persuded that Democrats would wreck the country, and voted for Trump as the lesser of two evils. That was negative partisanship at work.
Elizabelle
@Quinerly: THEY wanted Trump. This is no refection on WE at all. Have been thinking about the fracturing of polarized America. We did the best we could, supporting good policy as well.
I do wonder about the concept of us as a country. This is the biggest self-own since Brexit.
Not arguing with you. It’s just, we are America too. And we did not do this. We have to live with its aftermath, though.
geg6
Thanks all. You are what made the dam burst and I’ve finally had a good cry, sitting on my porch by myself (can’t let my John see it because, with his cognitive issues, he will get too upset), smoking both a joint and a cigarette. I have fallen off the no nicotine wagon because I’m too overwhelmed and anxious. I’ll try quitting again when I can settle down. Might be a while.
Soonergrunt
@geg6: That cheesy old saying “it’s OK to not be OK” comes to mind.
You’ve got a LOT on your plate.
How you deal is how you deal, and nobody’s judgement matters.
geg6
@Soonergrunt:
Thanks. I think I’m the only one judging me. Which is basically a lifelong issue.
John Cole
I wish it didn’t take a damned crisis to see you again, Sooner.
Darkrose
@geg6: I’m so sorry. Thinking of you.
glc
Can’t disagree with Cole. Here we are again.
catclub
@Glyph2112:
yep.
this is how I put it: I would say that apparently a quarter of the voters who voted for Biden in 2020 were simply pissed at Covid and Trump for Trump not fixing it. But they cared nothing for Biden or the Democrats.
Now they are pissed about the price of eggs.
Soonergrunt
@John Cole: I’m going to try to be around here a bit more. I deleted Twitter. I’m done over there, and I went there from here.
But you know me. The attention-span of a concussed hummingbird.
Yarrow
@geg6: I’m so sorry. I feel everything you say so hard. My 2016 was somewhat like you’re describing. Different terrible circumstances. Same sense of awfulness and crap that just kept coming. I wish I could say it got better. It didn’t. Sending good thoughts that your situation improves somehow. Do whatever you need to do to get through.
@Suzanne: Also, I don’t have to exist. Also an option.
Joy in FL
I’m also glad to see your nym. Thank you for the post.
Ohio Mom
@Yarrow: “Also, I don’t have to exist. Also an option.”
Huh? No, speeding up the date of your non-existence is not an acceptable option.
banditqueen
@geg6: I will be thinking of you and yours–I am so sorry and if I were closer to you I’d step in to provide at least some physical relief. People need support and right now all we have is ourselves. Just love yourself fiercely… (N. Shange)
Yarrow
@Ohio Mom: Why not? Seems okay to me. I’ve never really understood why it’s not acceptable.
Ohio Mom
@Yarrow: Because your survivors get emotionally destroyed. It’s a horrible thing to do to your loved ones. They never get over it in a much deeper way than a natural death.
weasel
@Soonergrunt:
Good to see you back, looking forward to seeing you around this joint again
Yarrow
@Ohio Mom: Well, I don’t have any loved ones, so that’s ok. There is absolutely no one who would care if I’m here or not.
Another Scott
Thanks.
Good to see you, SG.
Take care, everyone.
Best wishes,
Scott.
The Truffle
This is a cool space and I hope it stays that way. I think I will spend more time here.
p.a.
@geg6: sending positive thoughts.
Lyrebird
Yay, Soonergrunt!
Sorry this is why you’re stopping by to post, but so glad you are here.
@Baud: THANK YOU for the gracious way you put things two days or two lifetimes ago, something about remembering not to start pointing fingers of blame towards this or that subgroup. I don’t remember exactly how you put it, but remembering the gist has helped me get through today.
Lyrebird
@Yarrow: I don’t know one tenth of your struggle, but I do encourage you to text “home” to 741741 if you are open to chatting with someone who might have more clues, even though they don’t know you.
I value your presence here, fwiw, and you are worthwhile no matter if you’re not up for more fighting.
geg6
@Yarrow:
I care.
raven
drive on
The Truffle
We will have to play the long game, right?
Nelle
@Yarrow:I offer you the phrase, “that you are aware of” at this point in time. You may matter to someone of whom you are not aware. I also offer you the word, “yet.” We see the future so dimly. We don’t know what is just around the corner. So I try to add that on to definitive statements. No one, yet.
That’s why I like to walk the Chartres labyrinth. As I walk it, it looks like I’m at a dead end, but then there is a turn. I think I’m way out on the edge, far from the center where I rest. But sometimes, it is only a turn or two that brings me right to the center. I used to keep a painting of the labyrinth in my office and if a student was particularly discouraged during a conference, I’d encourage them to trace the labyrinth with a finger. Turning and turning, one never knows when a turn will bring a new thing, person, thought, or experience that illuminates and refreshes.
All that said, I know deep discouragement. I wish you grace in stepping, step by step, to better moments, hours, days. For me, hearing the owls in the nearby woods nearly always lifts me out of myself, even if just for a short bit. I hope you can find your joys soon.
Aziz, light!
@artem1s: You can wear a hair shirt if it suits you, but I’ll pass. I don’t like being lectured about how to manage my finances or whether I should travel, especially now in retirement after 46 years of working. By the way, Amazon makes over 60 percent of its income from Amazon Web Services and only 25 from e-commerce. I make frequent use of the latter because it serves my needs. I cancelled my WaPo sub months ago, but could note that Bezos bought that paper with couch change.
I’d like to see us return one day to Eisenhower’s top marginal tax rate, but piecemeal attacks on the flow of goods and services seems wrongheaded.
Ohio Mom
@Yarrow: I am sorry to hear that. No wonder you said what you said.
As pains-in-the-necks as other people can be, we need to be connected to others. It’s how we are built. And life is just too hard to go it alone.
Circumstances change (oh boy, did we just get a national lesson on that), maybe yours will change too. Sending you good wishes.
banditqueen
@Yarrow: You have so much to say on topics I care about–your voice makes these areas real and substantive to me. I love listening and you’re great at communicating–thank you!
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
@geg6: Damn. Wish I could give you a hug.
mvr
@geg6: Any one of those is a lot. Wish I could say something helpful and constructive but all I can do is say that it is a lot to deal with.
mvr
@Yarrow: A bunch of people on this blog would care a lot. Please take Lyrebird’s advice below or Cole’s advice reposted by Rose in an earlier post today:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (800) 273-8255
mvr
@Yarrow: I think a whole lot of people on Balloon Juice care a lot. Your voice here is part of why we are here. Please take Lyrebird’s advice below and text that number or Cole and Rose’s advice in other threads and call
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (800) 273-8255
Madeleine
Soonergrunt—thank you. I’m glad to see you, have missed you.
geg6: I’ m so sorry.
Gloria DryGarden
@Yarrow: your nym is the name of a sacred plant, medicinally used for cleansing the blood, tough in a drier garden, and a favorite for some butterflies. The sticks of yarrow are used sometimes, for casting the I Ching. ( it’s complicated, so I used Pennies). I grow this plant.
I’m writing because i just saw your comments here, and I strongly want to recommend against this exit strategy. if there’s any way you can negotiate with yourself to stay, please stay. The cost to you, is too high.
i studied suicide. I was suicidal two times in my life. When I was 10, I asked myself did I want to have to come back and repeat the last ten years. It’s like I knew, as a young self, that it wasn’t a good short-cut out of misery, but rather might make more problems. I knew.
in my 30s it went on for around a year. And I studied it, negotiated with myself to bear it another hour, sometimes for 5 minutes, or one minute at a time. I am no stranger to internal anguish, and seemingly endless external challenges, and running out of fight, running out of will. And this national news feels crushing and terrifying. I offer this image:
It’s as if there are threads, lines of connection between us all, and we’re all in a vast dream catcher, surrounded by the grandmothers. The lines are knotted together at each junction, one person to another, on and on, invisible interconnections. I saw, in that time, that if I took myself out, unknotted myself from the webbing of all the people I knew, and who they knew, that my single death would ripple out in widening circles of unraveling. That it would tear and harm the fabric of human hearts, out past three degrees of separation.
It matters. I hope you can find a way to stay.
I’ve read your comments. A bunch of people above say they appreciate you here, you matter to them.
I’m late to this thread, if I am on when you’re on again, I’ll copy paste this.
grubert
@nickdag: truly excellent. Quite right.
Glidwrith
@Yarrow: I care