Hey all- just wanted to let you know that dad is resting in the hospital, as comfortable as one may be, and will live to tell some more stories. Apparently he had two arteries blocked and the heart attack was much more serious than initial reports, and he actually coded in the ambulance and they shocked him and did compressions and brought him back. When I asked him if he saw Ajax (our childhood dog) at the end of the tunnel he said “I didn’t see anything I think it is all nonsense.”
I think mentally he is ok but when the cardiologist came in this morning and told him and my mother that he basically died and was brought back to life, that really freaked him out. The doctor said it was as serious a heart attack as one can have and that he is a miracle. I personally think he is just too fucking stubborn to die.
The challenge for the next few weeks will be to find the right combination of meds to protect him from another event while also not making him too dizzy to function (some of the blood thinners and combinations make his life hell because of dizziness). Regardless, we are all grateful he is still alive.
On a personal note I have too much shit going on to process or deal with my personal emotions, so I am very much looking forward to the mental breakdown I am going to have in the middle of January or February when Joelle is healed and dad is back to normal and all the other shit in my life has calmed down enough for me to spiral. Yay.
JerseyBeard
Take care of yourself, John. Sending good thoughts and love your dad’s way.
Baud
Close call. Glad to hear the medical people did their jobs.
zhena gogolia
Best wishes for your dad’s recovery, and for Joelle after her operation.
Raoul Paste
Try not to have a breakdown. We need every sentient human. And best wishes for your dad
HeleninEire
Glad Dad is OK. Take care of yourself, John.
West of the Rockies
Best wishes!
OT… I loathe Tony Romo’s grainy, shitty voice. Stop talking soooo much.
RileysEnabler
Ooof. That’s a rough reveal. Hard to hear, but good to know that your dad is on the path to recovery. My new therapist says that the key is to “be where your feet are” to help focus on things. So I give this to you, and hope it helps with all the stress. Thinking all good thoughts for your entire clan.
Steve LaBonne
Wow. So glad they pulled him through. Go easy on yourself.
JaneE
Best wishes for your dad and Joelle. Having your heart stop beating is scary, but they have been bringing them back for a long while. My grandmother coded over 50 years ago, but they brought her back and she lived another 6 years. Let’s hope your dad makes a complete recovery, and quickly as well.
Betty Cracker
Wow, that’s a lot. So glad they were able to save your dad! Look after yourself, friend.
WTFGhost
I’m glad your mom and dad did everything right, and that the paramedics have gotten so capable, with all the new tools and tech.
You’re certainly permitted a few freakouts over this – it’s on a par with leaving the twin towers, and catching your outbound flight on 9/11/2001, for your “near brushes with death”.
wmd
Be sure to schedule time to recover from the breakdown. Thanks for the heads up that it’s coming.
You may benefit from some preemptive mental health work prior to the scheduled breakdown. Diminish the severity a bit.
Hilbertsubspace
Glad your dad is alright. I’ll be hoping for a swift recovery.
Best wishes for you as well.
bjacques
I’m glad yer pop is okay, and that was hilarious about the tunnel. Take care of yourself and Joelle.
frosty
EMTs are awesome. So glad they could keep him around for you.
tam1MI
Hugs to you, John. Hearing about how serious your dad’s heart attack was must have been an awful experience. Have your meltdown at your convenience, sometimes it’s good to get it all out of your system.
Jackie
So happy everything went right for your dad! How’s your mom doing? Your dad’s heart attack and subsequent coding must have been terrifying for her!
Sister Golden Bear
Yikes, that a lot! Wishing a speedy recovery for Cole Dad and Joelle, and hugs to you and Cole Mom, if hugs are OK.
middlelee
Very good news about your dad, John.
A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)
OMG that’s lot! Please go easy on yourself, John, and many good thoughts and wishes to Joelle and your Dad for quick and as relatively psinfree as possible.
Dorothy A. Winsor
Glad your dad is doing well, John.
Kristine
@RileysEnabler:
Mindfulness. In the moment. When I focus on doing that—and it takes focus because I am lord god queen at multilane internal monologuing—I do feel more calm and better able to enjoy/concentrate on whatever I am doing at that moment.
Steady as she goes, Cole. Best healing wishes to your dad and Joelle and strength to you.
Rose Judson
Glad your Dad is still here to tell you off. And hitting the snooze button on the actual meltdown because you’re too busy holding it together to crash is very relatable.
Melancholy Jaques
Happy to hear your dad is still with us, still calling out the nonsense.
JMG
I am glad your father is recuperating. Best wishes to your family and to you and Joelle in particular. I know from experience how scary it is when a parent who is far away has a major medical event.
Mr. Bemused Senior
Yikes. I’m glad to read the outcome was good. I send best wishes for swift and full recoveries.
Splitting Image
At least stubbornness is good for some things. Glad to hear he pulled through.
Starfish (she/her)
You are going to have to go to the spa and get your pedicure to recover from all your loved ones treating the hospital like it is a day spa.
trollhattan
Holy crap, that’s as scary a thing as scary things can be. Glad 1. the right people were there to tend to him, 2. he got properly diagnosed and treated and 3. the stubborn Papa Cole stubbornly remains among us.
Try to decompress, I type while knowing it’s not an easy thing.
CaseyL
Holy hell. At least they waited until afterwards to tell you what a near thing it was.
Best of luck for a speedy recovery to Daddy Cole and to Joelle. And I’m sure you know this, but: check Dad’s new drugs for interactions with the old drugs.
Your comment about a mental breakdown reminds me of an old joke from the 1970s that used to be available on coffee mugs and posters: “When this is all over, I’m having a nervous breakdown. I want it, I’ve earned it, and no one is going to deprive me of it.”
NobodySpecial
Hopes for a good recovery for your dad and many more years of good health.
Denali5
Things are coming at you in a big way! Thinkging of you, Joelle, your Dad and your family and hoping for the best. One day at a time.
MagdaInBlack
Well, that is an awful lot all at once. Glad to hear Dad is doing well enough to grump back at you now.
RevRick
@Baud: Coding and being resuscitated? Yowsa. Especially for an elderly person where the odds basically approach zero.
I have filed an advance directive with my physician saying, “Don’t bother.”
Dangerman
Public Service Announcements
Learn CPR
When in a public place and you pass an AED, make a mental note of where; when the feces hit the fan and before EMT/Fire arrives, a life can be saved.
Download Pulsepoint. It’s AED locator can be invaluable.
ETA: Also, learn stroke symptoms and don’t be afraid to call bullshit if the other person says they are fine. I made that mistake once; never again.
John Cole
Has anyone seen Sab I emailed them last night and have not heard back.
SFAW
John –
Glad your Dad is (relatively) OK. And I don’t know if this helps, but: a co-worker/friend (age 83) died from a heart attack a few years before I knew him (I first met him in early 2020), and was revived. He’s still pretty active, relatively sharp mentally, and doesn’t really show any serious after-effects.
I am hoping this is how it will be for your Dad.
Best wishes to you, him, and the rest of your family.
sab
OT : We got our heat back this afternoon. Tiny little fuse in the control panel blew. He pulled a fuse from something else and plugged it in and presto we have heat. Who knows what that other fuse was usefully doing, and I am unpleasantly amazed that they have to back order a fuse in a control panel they installed two months ago. The repair tech went to Autozone for a replacement and struck out. My bet is our neighborhood Ace Hardware will have it. He wouldn’t check there and he isn’t a local guy anyway. Over from the next county.
At least they work on Saturdays. He overpetted our pitbull, and she eventually growled at him like she did last time. She never growls at visitors, only at vets at their office.
All around a fun day. At least we have heat.
Also too, what I have been calling a quilt is actually a comforter. And what my husband has been calling a quilt is indeed a quilt. Comforters are the puffy things. Quilts are the quilted things. Rocket science there.
Redshift
Damn, that’s scary, but I’m glad to hear he’s on the mend, John. Take care of yourself.
Baud
@John Cole:
#38
satby
Good to hear Poppa Cole is doing well! Hope your mom is coping well too. Let Joelle know we’ll be thinking of her and rooting for her Monday. We root for you every day, so you take care of you too.
Melancholy Jaques
@sab:
How about duvets? Where do they fit in?
sab
@Melancholy Jaques: I have no idea. But I have extra fabic that would make a gorgeous duvet.
sab
@John Cole: No. Yikes. Our heat was out today so we did nothing we should have been doing today. We just shivered and whined at each other. I will check now.
Antonius
Best wishes to you and your family John. Holding it together now and falling apart later is an excellent plan.
BigJimSlade
Wow. Recover/heal well John’s Dad!
MagdaInBlack
@Melancholy Jaques: Duvet = giant pillowcase for quilt or comforter. Imagine the struggle installing that.
Keith P.
My best wishes to your father. I went into cardiac arrest myself last month during a procedure, and my sternum still feels broken from the chest compressions (sneezing is excruciating). But my cracked ribs healed after about a month, as did whatever got messed up in my shoulder, so it’s a significant improvement.
sab
@John Cole: You are such an amazing sweetheart. I hope I am not blowing your reputation or your self image as a curmudgeon.
Harrison Wesley
@MagdaInBlack: You could always call Vance Duvet Installation. The challenge is in getting your service tech to leave.
sab
We got the Christmas trees up, and the Hanukkah bush (compromise from my first marriage… no lights and blue and white ornaments) is on top of the grandfather clock next to the winter squirrel.
The grinch is not going up this year. He used to sit where the winter squirrel is now. All cheerful this holiday season. I think the other guys (stuffed bear who plays bass etc etc) will have to wait for actual Christmas.
Sure Lurkalot
Best get well soon wishes for your dad, the miracle man. Hope your mom has been able to get some rest, trauma takes its toll on everyone.
May Joelle get through her procedure with flying colors, a buddy of mine just had her knee replaced, now asking herself why she waited so long.
Miki
Yikes. Good thoughts for Papa Cole.
Um, at the risk of being preachy, allow you and Joelle to not be “healed” by February. TKR is brutal, and recovery is tough. Give yourselves the time it takes to get there.
I hate that you’re dealing with a double whammy with THE PEEPS YOU LOVE AND THE PEEPS WHO LOVE YOU at the same time. Damn that shit.
We’re here, Cole.
West of the Rockies
@SFAW:
That’s encouraging.
Ann Marie
I’m so glad the doctors were able to help your father. Best wishes to you, Joelle, and your whole family.
West of the Rockies
@West of the Rockies:
Sorry. I confused Gary Danielson (Army/Navy color announcer) with dreadful Romo. They are similarly terrible.
scav
Stubborn for the win! Good luck all.
Barry
@MagdaInBlack:
“Duvet = giant pillowcase for quilt or comforter. Imagine the struggle installing that.”
The idea is that you frequently wash the duvet, and dry clean the down comforter say once a year.
Gvg
Whoa. I hadn’t been reading here much for 2 days because of feeling bad, then needing to catch up before Christmas. I feel like I missed a bunch of important episodes.
Take care John. Hope Joelle doesn’t try to be too stoic in order not to stress you, then over stress herself. Hope the pets try to comfort both of you.
sab
@Keith P.: Yikes. I was put into cardiac arrest and then revived immediately by the EMT guys when I was having my SVT event (SVT is sort of like but not exactly like the more famous AFIB.) It was weird, but less weird then when I woke up during my cardioblasty thing, when they lasered away my congenital heart defect. I haven’t fainted ever since
ETA I used to periodically faint and bang my head on the coffee table. No one ever noticed, but I do hate coffee tables. My husband wonders why.
Ohio Mom
@MagdaInBlack: That was me last week, shoving the comforter into the duvet cover to winterize the bed. Twisted my wrist and it is taking a long time to heal.
When I was in my twenties, a friend said to me, “I figured out what adulthood is, it’s when you have to put everyone else first.”
Glad to hear Dad Cole is on the mend, I’ll be sending good thoughts to Joelle on Monday.
different-church-lady
I really gotta stop coming late to the staff meetings…
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
Yikes. Glad he’s doing OK, now.
VeniceRiley
The ability to delay a freakout spiral until a crisis storm is long past is a skill. Is that something they teach in the military? Very useful.
Glad Cole poppa survived the close call!
zhena gogolia
@different-church-lady: She’s having a knee replacement.
TBone
A little story about real religion, the kind I find here from time to time. I’ll call it ‘Census’ in the interest of what it’s really about.
https://www.robertleefulghum.com/evangelist/
A short read that left a smile.
NotMax
And the beat goes on.
Package with four small items ordered on Black Friday through Amazon, originally supposed to arrive December 11, subsequently marked delayed until December 14, now showing as “Problem Occurred. Returning to Amazon.”
Got on the phone with a real human at Amazon customer service. After explaining the dilemma, passed along from the original person to not one but two higher ups. Eventually informed that one of the items was damaged (how could anyone would confirm without opening the package?) so the entire kit and kaboodle is being returned to them by the Post Office.
Amazon was able to create a new order of the same things, at the same Black Friday prices, today. Which according to their web site is now listed as arriving January 3.
Agents spoken with by phone were polite and professional. The elasticity of my patience is legendary.
;)
sab
@John Cole: Showed my husband the e-mail. He is relieved a lot
ETA All these doofus critters living their critter lives oblivious to the big picture.
Betty
Yes, no one wants to hear that their survival was a miracle. Very unsettling, and it has to make you feel a little shaky going forward. May your Dad have a speedy recovery. Good luck to Joelle. Hope you can keep the ice packs coming as needed.
KatKapCC
Lots of good thoughts for your Dad <3
banditqueen
Big families with everything, everywhere, happening all at once… you’ve already done a lot to prepare for Joelle’s surgery though, so put that in a compartment and just prepare to let neighbors & other fam help out there–just keep her on track with her exercises etc; I hope your dad is receiving the best care, & it sounds like he is… so you have a lot of “being there” to do with him–listening, encouraging, & you’re doing that, too–tell him to let others spoil him, he’ll like it. So do what you need to do for yourself as well…
Quiltingfool
@sab: You know what quilts and comforters have in common? They’re just blankets, lol!
There used to be a very hilarious quilt magazine, and the editor wrote an opinion piece stating that quilters needed to quit being so OCD about their seams, etc. He said if you screwed something up, just quilt the hell out of it, and more importantly, a quilt is “just a blanket.”
sab
@Quiltingfool: So much ues.
@mistermix.bsky.social
Glad your Dad had some good care and a lot of luck. Hope to hear that he’s home and doing well soon.
comrade scotts agenda of rage
Glad to hear Pa Cole is hanging in there. You do the same.
Odie Hugh Manatee
My best wishes for your Dad and Joelle with their health challenges along with a thought or two for your Mom and yourself. You have shit to take care of now, you can panic later. Just understand that life is largely going from one could-be panic event to another that increases with frequency as you get older, hopefully with long interludes of peace, love, joy and happiness in between.
And bills. Always the bills! Merry Christmas John, Joelle and your Ma & Pa. May your New Year be as happy as occasional panics will allow. ;)
Chacal Charles Calthrop
@TBone: sweet story! Thks for sharing.
Cole, thank you for being there for both your father & joelle
Westyny
Very glad to hear your dad is on the mend. My own dad lived through four heart events on his way to a robust 94 years. Amazing what they can do.
Juju
I’m happy you had a good result with your father. It’s sounds like he’s doing well. I wish Joelle the best results possible, and a great recovery that makes the discomfort she will go through worth it all in the end. My mother had a knee replacement in January 1999, and it’s still getting her from here to there. My sister had a knee replacement a year and a half ago and has enjoyed every day after the first 1-3 months. I hope I can get a knee replacement some reasonable amount of time in the future, but I’m taking care of my mother now and cant contemplate a surgery any time soon.
geg6
Sending good vibes to Mr. Cole. He’s a lucky man.
Also, good thoughts to Joelle for her surgery tomorrow!
prostratedragon
Modern medicine is wonderful, but goodness! such a close call. Best wishes to Mr. Cole for his recovery. Also, good luck to Joelle.
Kayla Rudbek
@Barry: sometimes the duvet covers will have strings/fabric tape on the insides of the corners so that you can tie it to the duvet (which should have little strips on each corner that the cover can be attached to). My IKEA duvet covers are cheap and don’t have the fabric tape/string attached on them, but my flannel duvet covers have the ties. In my house, duvet covers and matching pillowcases/shams get washed every week as part of stripping the bed.
Kayla Rudbek
Yikes on Dad Cole having such a close call. I hope he fully recovers, and that Joelle’s surgery and recovery go well too. And remember that being under anesthesia can have after effects for up to a year after surgery, so be gentle with Dad Cole and Joelle.
Ruckus
As many have said, health care, especially emergency health care is dramatically better today than decades ago. Science has learned a lot about the human body and what it needs and really, really, really doesn’t need (cigs, a train car full of liquor and/or illicit drugs etc) and much better ways to fix things. That doesn’t mean that humans (not all of us…..) haven’t figured out ways to find other stupid ways/things to do wrong for themselves.
Ruckus
I personally think he is just too fucking stubborn to die.
Actually it sometimes takes being stubborn. Less so now that medicine is far better than when I was born in the first half of the last century. But sometimes stubbornness is what gets one through the hard times.
Except there is one thing. Pomposity. Some humans think they the shit – because they went down a hard road and succeeded in becoming something that takes lots of effort and desire. And yes there is something to that in becoming a doc, because it’s far more work getting there than it used to be, and in the lifetime of persons still breathing. But pomposity is not a new human issue, I’d bet it has existed since the tenth Adam walked upright. And the only thing it does is prove that some humans barely are.
rikyrah
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽for Family Cole
sherparick1
You do have a lot going on in your life right now. Hope your Dad has a complete recovery and is back to being his old ornery self and that all goes well with Joelle’s operation today. In a sense taking care of others and is the best way to take care of oneself as well. Take care of yourself and keeping my fingers crossed for your Dad and Joelle.
Paul in KY
Best wishes on your dad’s speedy recovery. Your mom will need help. Being a caregiver is so so tough.