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If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

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Washington Post’s Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

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Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

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with the Kraken taking a plea, the Cheese stands alone.

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No one could have predicted…

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rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

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There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

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The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

The arc of the moral universe doesn’t bend itself. it’s up to us.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

You are here: Home / Food & Recipes / Food / Drunken Aunties Cookie Night Report: TNG

Drunken Aunties Cookie Night Report: TNG

by | 50 Comments

This post is in: ,

I had intended to sorta live-blog DACN, but it got away from me.

This bumble happened:

Cookie decorated with coconut and blue icing to resemble the abomnable snowman.

Jesus.

But the real action was a profound change in the event’s dynamics: The kids stepped up this year.

We aunties basically told them what we had already baked, where the decorating supplies and equipment were, where the recipes lived, etc. Then we retired to the patio fire pit with snacks and cocktails in hand and let the kids get to it. They made us proud!

An array of festive cookies arranged on a truck-shaped Christmas cookie plate.

Above is a small sample that does not capture the wide array of confections. They got creative!

For example, the kids innovated with a plate of my failed camel cookies. Let me explain.

My spritz cookie gun has a mold that supposedly makes camel-shaped cookies:

Round metal cookie mold.

I had not tried it before this year. The resulting cookies look like “obese tauntauns,” as my sister put it:

Blob-shaped golden brown cookies.

The kids elevated these pitiable blobs by adding chocolate and toasted mini marshmallows to create a s’mores-like sandwich cookie. Clever!

We’ll have to change the name of the annual baking event when we pass the torch to the next generation for real. Genders in the teen/young adult set participate in equal numbers. That makes me happy. Progress!

Open thread.

Reader Interactions

50Comments

  2. 2.

    WTFGhost

    Your abominable snowman is picture perfect! It’s so good, I threw away the picture, and I’m using yours instead.

    What do you mean that sounds contrived to compliment your snowman? I would never! Have I ever – I mean – could you believe… I mean… anyway, I would never just go around complimenting random snowmen, I’m not that kind of guy.

    So there.

  7. 7.

    KatKapCC

    My folks sent us rugelach from Zabar’s in advance of Hanukkah, so while neither of us drink, we will be having cookie night with glee.

  11. 11.

    Ned F

    My first thought on the snowman picture was, this is what happens before the drunkin’ aunties get flagged.

  13. 13.

    Jeffro

    Very cool BS and loooooove the Abominable Cookie!

    Currently awaiting the arrival of Froette here.  =)

  16. 16.

    cope

    Our experiences with one of those spritz cookie guns has likewise been fraught.

    Sounds like a good old time on the river, that’s the part that counts anyway.

  19. 19.

    New Deal democrat

    I love pecan pie, but the classic recipe is too syrupy sweet, not to mention a diabetic coma (and about 3000 calories) on a plate. So off and on for years I’ve been looking for a substitute.

    It turns out that Karo syrup wasn’t even manufactured until the 1920s, and the modern recipe was promoted by that manufacturer. So I found out a few months ago when I happened across a “1914 pecan pie recipe.” There are a few other variations online, all of which make use of more dairy products. I made tart sized examples of each, but wanted something closer to a caramel custard type taste.

    Here’s what I came up with. It has the same texture and consistency of the classic, but uses no sugar, and substitutes dairy for 3/4 of the syrup. It has the caramel custard taste I was looking for.

    So here is the recipe for the filling:

    1/2 cup white sugar substitute*
    1/2 cup Brown sugar substitute*
    (*e.g., Stevia or Trulia)
    2 tbsps. Corn starch

    2 tbsps. Maple syrup**
    2 tbsps. Caramel topping (e.g., Smuckers)**
    (**other sweeteners like molasses also would add flavor)
    1/4 cup Sour cream
    1/4 cup Heavy cream
    1/4 cup milk
    3 eggs
    2 tbsps. Butter
    1 tsp. Vanilla

  20. 20.

    CaseyL

    OMG, that bumble – it looks like the photo you posted the other day, but after being run over by a truck. (Or after a night hanging out with the Drunken Aunties.)

  21. 21.

    Rose Judson

    @KatKapCC: Most rugelach recipes call for them to be rolled up individually, like tiny croissants. That would take me eons, so I make a big rolled log of dough and filling and chop it up. As a result, my rugelach frequently collapse onto their sides and look like gory snails when you pull them out of the oven, but everyone is still very happy to receive them.

     

    I am resigned to the fact that I will not get my podcast episode out the door tonight. It’s been a long damn month and my brain is just running into the wall.

  29. 29.

    TBone

    @NotMax: au contraire, there are some bad cookies.  That fuzzy jackal didn’t make any, but when she’s high, my BFF can screw up a recipe like nobody’s business hahaha inedible

  30. 30.

    MazeDancer

    Watching GBBO now. It’s Caramel Week and the caramel of all these ace bakers is splitting. And they got no kids to save them.

    Think you totally did it right. Love the snowman. And maybe you should call the camel thing the S’more Press.

  31. 31.

    KatKapCC

    @NotMax: Or poorly-made ones. Like the time my niece somehow misread “1/2 teaspoon” of salt in her gingersnaps recipe as “1-2 tablespoons” and she went with the upper limit. They were…not the best cookies, let’s just say that.

  32. 32.

    hitchhiker

    Every year I look forward to this report, and every year I am more delighted than the last. Good job on the niblings!

  34. 34.

    New Deal democrat

    @Elizabelle:

    how many pecans?

    Yeah, I kinda shoulda put that in, considering it is a “pecan” pie, right? I used 1 cup crushed pecans in the filling, 1/2 cup on top.

  36. 36.

    Juju

    The only way you’ll get a normal looking camel is if you have one of the old fashioned screw type spritz cookie makers. I used to have both a spritz gun and my grandmother’s old fashioned spritz cookie press and I always got better results with the old fashioned kind, and I donated the spritz gun to a charity garage sale. You have a choice between faster and fat, or slower and a cookie that looks like a camel.
    I’m going to try to make some toffee bars this year, and a linzer torte that I make for a friend. I hope I can manage. Last year’s linzer torte turned into an Easter linzer torte.  I was really late with that one.

  42. 42.

    Rachel Bakes

    One of these years I need to pull out my cookie press and make spritz again. My mom still makes them every year and hers taste better than mine. I think I have the camel pattern. Fortunate that we’re Empire Strikes Back fans if we end up with tauntauns.

  43. 43.

    laura

    The Bumble, I am in awe and will attempt to steal this So Hard. Many Gracias for the inspiration and I hope everyone involved experienced a crush of joy and fun and family tradition.

  44. 44.

    lowtechcyclist

    I love seeing your place mats, Betty!  Especially because Anna Maria Island, which I’m quite fond of, usually shows up in one or more pictures.  (In this one, the NE side of the island is in the upper right.)  I need to get me a set of those mats!

  45. 45.

    Betty Cracker

    @lowtechcyclist: It kinda looks like a place mat, but it’s not. Our kitchen island inexplicably has an inset, maybe 30” x 12”, under glass. The previous occupants had a weird scarf under it. I cut up a Tampa Bay navigational chart to replace it.

  47. 47.

    Kayla Rudbek

    @Juju: my mom gave me the old fashioned spritz cookie maker because I was the only one in the house who could get it to work correctly. I’ll have to see if my godson would ever want to try it.

  48. 48.

    Juju

    @Kayla Rudbek: The trick to making a spritz cookie press work better is to put your pans in the freezer for at least 10 minutes before you press the cookies. If the pan warms up, just put it back in the freezer for a while.

  49. 49.

    Elizabelle

    @New Deal democrat:  Thank you for the recipe.  Saved it, and will let you know how it turns out.  Of course, it feels even lighter with a little fresh whipped cream alongside.

    @Nukular Biskits:  1/16ths, for sure.  The sign that one has developed an adult palate.

  50. 50.

    WTFGhost

    @Poe Larity.: Heh. Worst thing to try to think about copying is a word that’s sometimes confusing, AND MISSPELLED. But, yes, the real punchline was “no, I’m not making up an excuse… I don’t just compliment random snowmen!” and, see, hers is hardly *random*. It’s kinda the opposite.

    See, and I studied math, and… “OKAY FINE, I’ll go find a bunch of math nerds and we’ll make our OWN abumbbabble snowmen, and YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY!”

    (I hope the above sounds humorous – my emotions have all the stability of a three-year-old’s, which makes it really hard to gauge tone.)

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