Posted this on Bluesky the other day but wanted to share it here too: My sister and I agreed we would skip gift giving this year, but she picked up this ornament for me anyway to recognize that a monumentally shitty year is now drawing to a close:
It’s perfect!
Thanks to three medical appointments in a week, this year will be shitty to the last drop. But at least I’ll get some expensive treatment out of the way before my annual deductible rolls over.
***
I’m choosing to be optimistic about 2025, apart from the political situation. I’ve got one goal for the new year that I plan to fulfill within the next few weeks, which is to go swimming with manatees.
Manatees aren’t new to me; I grew up in the manatee capital of the world (YouTube), and my dad ran a dive shop/marina there from the mid-1970s until he sold the business a few years back. The stories I could tell!
Anyhoo, I don’t remember seeing my first manatee anymore than a railroad conductor’s kid would remember seeing their first train. They were a familiar part of the landscape growing up.
But for several years now, too caught up in my own bullshit, I’ve neglected my enormous, slow, farting, potato-looking friends, and it’s past time to pay them a visit. Will try to get pics.
Open thread!
By the way, if you ever get an opportunity to swim with manatees, keep in mind that they’re like dogs in the sense that they’re friendly and interactive, but if you chase them, they’ll move away. Stay still, and they’ll come to you. (Also, it’s illegal — and rude! — to chase them.)
zhena gogolia
Wow, I had no idea swimming with manatees was an activity.
zhena gogolia
But you’ve been on Balloon Juice every day!
Betty Cracker
@zhena gogolia: Hahaha!
cope
Also, don’t feed the manatees lettuce or give them gulps of fresh water from an old milk container, that’s a federal offense (as we learned when we used to kayak with them in Mosquito Lagoon)
ETA: That is the most awesomest ornament ever.
Steve LaBonne
We have had three really awful years with illness and death in our immediate family. We wanly hope to finally have a tolerable 2025 which is why I am disciplining myself to ignore you know who and his flying monkeys as much as I can. And we have a bit more income to look forward to from the SS “windfall” elimination nonsense finally being repealed so at least there’s that.
sab
I never had a golden lab, but we did have a vanilla lab (not quite white) who was a complicated goof.
He loved cold weather, and stayed out in it until it was unhealthy. I remember one day when air was sub-zero and lab would not come in or be caught. So we left him out overnight. Next morning he was out there by the door with his teeth chattering.
different-church-lady
Come for the politics, stay for the aquatic mammal stalking advice.
Baud
Now I want to swim with manatees.
different-church-lady
@Baud: Christ, just when I was getting over my Porsche lust from the last thread…
sab
@different-church-lady: Huh? What aquatic animal? I don’t normally comment when I misunderstand, but your comment completely stumped me.
BlueGuitarist
Thanks for posting this, BC!
Love all y’all
sab
@Baud: I have wanted to swim with sea cows (aka manatees) for fifty plus years. Better for them if this doesn’t happen.
sab
@Steve LaBonne: Would you come to a springtime meet up? Somewhere in NE Ohio?
Betty Cracker
@cope: You’re right — that’s a big no-no now. I remember as a kid standing on the seawall with a garden hose watering the manatees in the canal. (I don’t think it was illegal back then.) They’d line up to open their mouths under the hose and get a drink. If one was taking its time, another would nudge it out of the way. Such sweet, goofy critters!
Baud
@sab:
I had a chance to swim with dolphins recently, but they appeared to be confined and I didn’t want to support that. I hope to have a chance to swim with dolphins in the wild one day.
Omnes Omnibus
@Baud: Do they want to swim with you though?
sab
@Baud: Don’t we all want to swim with manatees? Sea cows not so much.
Baud
@Omnes Omnibus:
I assume they don’t know who I am.
Omnes Omnibus
@Baud: You think they don’t read this blog? Ha!
Ohio Mom
@sab: Make the meet-up in Columbus and I’ll come.
Do we have and Juicers who live in or near Columbus to identify a good location ?
KatKapCC
I read once that there has never been a single recorded instance of a manatee attacking a human, which is pretty impressive, considering how badly so many humans deserve to be attacked. Good on the manatees for restraining themselves.
beckya57
@Baud: I was able to do that years ago, and recommend it highly. I particularly remember 2 things: a (500 lb!) baby who wanted to play like a puppy, and one who was sleeping. Since they’re mammals, they have to breathe air. They find a shallow place to sleep, and about every 10 minutes they move up slightly, and their nostrils just break the water surface. They take a breath, and then go back down again for another 10 minutes. Absolutely hypnotic to watch.
Harrison Wesley
@Betty Cracker: No natural enemies IIRC. But one very unnatural one. One that runs over them with motorboats. One that even carves swastikas in their flesh.
Scout211
Enjoy the manatees, Betty. And here’s hoping that you get good news from all your tests and scans.
What a relief that you were able to get the appointments during this calendar year. Sending good wishes your way. ❤️
West of the Rockies
Sounds like a book title: The Woman Who Swims with Manatees.
Best wishes, BC!
Betty Cracker
@Harrison Wesley: Some asshole scratched “Trump” on a manatee’s back a few years ago. The guy who played Dax in Guardians of the Galaxy offered a reward to catch the perp, but I don’t think they ever did.
I should clarify that manatee backs are generally mossy, so scratching that accursed name into its back didn’t hurt the manatee. It might have even felt good! But still, what a deranged prick to do such a thing!
dexwood
Love the ornament, Betty. A statement on 2024 for me, too. Glad your issues with end of year appointments have been resolved. Three back-to-back appointments for me yesterday. Happily, though, one was for my last chemo infusion. Fuckin A! It’s been rough. Still in Limbo, but moving on.
Harrison Wesley
@Betty Cracker: I wonder if the Trump merch store near me has any gold-sprayed plastic manatees for sale.
TooTallTom
@Betty Cracker: I think that I can speak for all jackals, in that your stories from when your Dad ran the dive shop/marina would be more than worthy of a post. (hint hint)
TBone
Thought for the day: our next President is still out on bail.
Geminid
@Betty Cracker: Hey Betty, a friend lent me one of John D. McDonald’s Travis McGee novels, A Tan and Sandy Silence (1971) Carl Hiaasen wrote an Introduction for the 1995 edition where he talked about McDonald’s love of Florida’s natural world, and this passage made me think of you and your writing:
Chris Johnson
@zhena gogolia: Ahahaha, post of the year :D
HinTN
@dexwood: Yep, me too. Finished 12 infusions in late October. Had surgery early December. On to radiation. 2024 was one to put away.
TBone
Word of the Day
lagniappe
HinTN
@Geminid: Early Randy Wayne White was that way, too. Really observant of and, I think, in love with old Florida.
Baud
TBone
@Baud: yep
Phylllis
Brings back memories of visiting Snooty every year during elementary school field trips.
Nukular Biskits
I’ve never felt so personally attacked in all my life.
Baud
VeniceRiley
🎹🎵🎶 Don’t go chasing manatees, stick to the rivers and lakes that you’re used to … 🎶🎵
Starfish (she/her)
Did Beyonce just win the War on Christmas with the Beyonce Bowl?
Nukular Biskits
@TBone:
Lagniappe is a special kind of lasagna, ain’t it?
Nukular Biskits
@Baud:
I find it very hard to be sympathetic to Loomer.
At the same time, I’m cheering her on calling out Musk’s self-interested hypocrisy.
Here’s to injuries (figurative and otherwise) all ’round.
Scout211
@TBone:
For me!? You’re too sweet!
Hey, I lived in NOLA for two years, I’m always happy to receive a little lagniappe here and there.
dexwood
@HinTN: My thoughts are with you. Fuck cancer. I’m having surgery early next month and there has been talk of follow up radiation. We’ll see. All along, I’ve heard “stay positive” and “attitude is everything” and that has been one of my goals. Not always easy, though, especially late at night when dark thoughts creep through your head. Feeling pretty fucking good today, hope you do, too.
different-church-lady
@TBone: Fuckin’ dude is probably going to cut his tracking bracelet off before this is over…
TBone
@Scout211: muah!
different-church-lady
@Baud: Oh no no, they hear us. They just think we’re lying.
different-church-lady
@Baud: There must be some kind of inverse relationship between wealth and skin-thickness.
KatKapCC
@Baud: hahahahahahaha
different-church-lady
@Nukular Biskits: [LetThemFight.gif]
TBone
Today I’m learning to roast beef bones (for use in making stock) since my roast didn’t come with any. What’s that word for magical all day beef stock reduction? Demi glace! Yeah, I’m not making that. Beef barley soup tomorrow from stock made today.
Old Man Shadow
@Baud: Of course he did. His idea of free speech is that everyone is free to agree with him or else.
Miss Bianca
@VeniceRiley: Am I supposed to be singing that to the tune of, “Don’t sleep on the subway, baby…”?
TBone
Today I’m learning how to roast beef bones because my prime rib didn’t come with any. What’s the word for that magical beef stock reduction? Oh yeah, demi glace! Not making that, just stock today for beef barley soup tomorrow with all the leftover beef cut up. Perled barley!
TBone
@different-church-lady: ha! Remember when the jury could ring a bell to summon him?
TBone
Crap I screwed up my nym, sorry! Fixing now!
Do I repeat those comments or wait for mod?
Professor Bigfoot
@HinTN: Mrs. Bigfoot’s hair is growing back again; her year of surgeries, chemo, and radiation treatments ended in July; now she’s got two years of anti cancer drugs.
Here’s sending you guys all the luck.
Scout211
@Miss Bianca: I think that was TLC,Waterfalls
Nukular Biskits
It’s storming outside here. We lost power a couple of times.
Well, I won’t be taking down those Christmas yard decorations today.
TBone
@different-church-lady: remember when the jury could just ring a bell to summon him? Good times…
TBone
@Nukular Biskits: hee hee, no that’s what happens to people after the lasagne is left out too long (once had a whole food poisoning lawsuit render an Italian family dysfunctional).
hueyplong
@TBone: Going forward I guess we’ll have to revert to the salt circle and pentagram.
TBone
@hueyplong: ha! Come to sit by me and my cauldron! I am roasting bones for stock today (not demi glace).
Preheat your oven to 425°F.
Place bones in a heavy bottomed deep roasting pan, or on a parchment paper lined baking sheet and roast in the oven for about 30 minutes. You want the bones to be a darker color but not burn any residual meat.
If desired: remove the bones from the oven, brush them with tomato paste and return them to the oven for an additional 10 minutes.
hueyplong
@TBone: I don’t know. The way you’re prone to taunting right wingers, I’d probably get shot.
TBone
@hueyplong: I would never mistake you for edible! Or a RWNJ!
hueyplong
@TBone: They’d shoot me trying for you.
dexwood
@Professor Bigfoot: Best wishes for the Mrs. This is a club no one wants to join, but good support matters. I’ve noticed that caregivers, partners, spouses don’t always receive the credit they deserve for all they do, for their support and love. Cancer affects all who love you.
eta: Heading out to walk Maggie Dog. Stay strong everyone.
Almost Retired
I did not realize I wanted to swim with Manatees until just right now. It’s possible I could be the first human who ever irritated a Manatee enough to get attacked.
TBone
@hueyplong: you have a point.
Doc Sardonic
@Geminid: That was the Florida I grew up in. Floating down the Withlacoochee in canoes, tubing on the Rainbow, mullet fishing with a treble rig on an ultralight over by the Nuke plant. Shrimping in Mosquito Lagoon, running the fox/deer hounds all night in Marion Oaks. The old Florida, where we used to skin gators in the summer and tourists in the winter, before it got ruined by the goddamn developers.
TBone
@Almost Retired: lol !
satby
Bucket list addendum!
Omnes Omnibus
@Almost Retired: It is usually good to have goals. In this case….
Baud
@Almost Retired:
It’s illegal for you to chase them. It’s not illegal for them to chase you.
TBone
Screenshot of the Current Distraction for posterity
https://bsky.app/profile/fancysplace.bsky.social/post/3lecjtngc2k22
It’ll be gone by tomorrow (outdone by another Flaming Clown™).
frosty
@zhena gogolia: This is why I keep reading all the comments. I’m guaranteed a laugh every day. Thanks ZG, that was excellent snark!
TBone
This Matt Bai comment deserves posterity
https://bsky.app/profile/fancysplace.bsky.social/post/3lec7kcvlrc2a
Steve LaBonne
@sab: I might, I will await details.
TBone
@Baud: I have actually done that at Delaware Seashore State Park. Me, on a queen sized air mattress, way out past safety smoking a doobie. Dolphins: wtf is this? Let’s jump and roll and play and get a better look! Swarm her!
Trivia Man
@dexwood: I joined a Well Spouses support group. It helps some, but it is very focused on end of life caregivers. Our situation is not as dire and we have optimism for improvement in quality of life ahead. Always juuuuust out of reach but still we have hope.
The other difficulty is if you say “cancer” everyone understands and has sympathy. Saying “a complicated mix of numerous auto-immune diseases, some of which are not yet understood” gets many glazed looks and a change in the subject.
One day at a time is what I do. Carry water, chop wood.
TBone
@Trivia Man: gentle hugs
zhena gogolia
@frosty: You’re welcome! Making Betty Cracker laugh is a huge feather in my cap!
Geminid
@Doc Sardonic: Hiasson shared John McDonald’s thoughts about Florida and its land developers In his introduction to McDonald’s novel. In Travis McGee’s words:
Scuffletuffle
enormous, slow, farting, potato-looking…MY PEOPLE!!!!
Kelly
Mrs Kelly went into town today to pick up some prescriptions, which because she met her deductible for the year are free until next week. Where does the annual deductible rank amongst the stupidest features of USA health care? Certainly nameless, faceless insurance company staffers countermanding doctor’s orders is the worst.
StringOnAStick
I heard a story by a local in Hilo last year of many years ago when he was out snorkeling with a monofin; takes a huge amount of energy to swim like a dolphin with one of those but the dolphins seem attracted to swimmers who use them. A couple dolphins started swimming alongside him and made it clear he should join them, so off the coast they went to a pod of sleeping dolphins, who were also interested in their podmate’s new friend. Eventually it was time to rejoin the land but this guy realized he didn’t have to juice left to get back to shore since some rip had formed. His original two buddy dolphins were accompanying him back to the shore, and when they realized he couldn’t keep up, they offered their dorsal fins for an assist and he took it, knowing he wasn’t getting back to shore without their help. Highly illegal, but it seemed to be mutual assent. He said it was the finest moment of his life and it was decades ago and obviously still meant a lot to him.
I read a few years ago how Dick Van Dyke (in his 80’s then) fell asleep on his surfboard off the CA coast and drifted a long way out to sea; dolphins pushed him and his board back to close to shore. Stories of dolphins helping people in distress are not uncommon.
stacib
@Miss Bianca: Nope, Waterfalls by TLC.
Miss Bianca
@Scout211:
@stacib:
I learn something new (to me) every day!
Catnaz
Been to Crystal River. Beautiful! But holy shit it’s Trumpy.
Doc Sardonic
@Geminid: Travis McGee pretty much summed up my thoughts. I have talked many times about leaving, but the sugar sand in my shoes and the citrus pollen in my hair weighs me down so that I think I have taken root in the sandy loam soil. I am not sure a 100 mule team could move me, so unless something drastic happens before my ashes take a final swim in the Gulf so I can ride the gulfstream waters til the end of time, here I will be.
brantl
@TooTallTom:
@Starfish (she/her): not available, copywriting claim from NetFlix
dexwood
@Trivia Man:
Happy to hear about the caregivers group. My wife is the primary caregiver for her 96 year old parents. She joined a great city sponsored caregivers group two years ago. What she’s learned and the peer support among the group members has carried over nicely for my care. She’s made some great friends, too. Bonus.
Trivia Man
@dexwood: thanks, Ill look again locally, this one is Zoom only. Some conversations are impossible unless the other person also understands the situation first hand. Well meaning friends and family tend to sugar coat or give a pompous “all you gotta do…” magic bullet “solution.”
Ben Cisco
@Baud: Personally, I’m rooting for the meteor.
Kathleen
@Miss Bianca: Don’t Sleep In The Subway Darlin’? (Petula Clark, 1967)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ISX9mW78Dw&ab_channel=TheOldrecordclub
Kathleen
@Professor Bigfoot: My best wishes to you and your wife for her continued healing.
Geminid
@Ben Cisco: A wise choice. I always root for meteors.
CaseyL
Betty C. – you have one of the best reasons for giving 2024 what Dave Barry refers to as a “helpful gesture,” and I hope that 2025 is by far a better year for you. I hope that swimming with manatees isn’t your only glorious wish to come true.
I am another person who didn’t know swimming with manatees was allowed, or even a thing. It sounds like a darling way to spend some time in the water.
One thing I miss about the East Coast is that the water, the ocean and all its bays and inlets, is swimmable – that is to say, you can go in wearing an ordinary bathing suit without freezing to death. On the Pacific Coast, there are a few inlets and such that are bearable during the height of summer, but mostly if you want to spend time in the water, you better be wearing a drysuit.
WaterGirl
@TBone: I fixed them all and released your comments.
beckya57
@Baud: I was able to swim with wild dolphins off the BI of Hawaii some years ago, but I’m not sure that’s still allowed. Snorkeling with sea lions and whale sharks in the wild are definitely available in Baja, however (I did both in January)!
Steve LaBonne
@Professor Bigfoot: Sending many healing thoughts for her.
Kayla Rudbek
@Baud: in Grand Cayman, you can go on water tours and feed the stingrays. Once, I made the mistake of wearing my engagement ring and one of them went after my hand (it was shiny and must have looked like food).
I am the person who always gets bitten or stung by the wildlife. I joke that if they send me to Mars, I will discover Martian life and get bitten by it. Or wind up with Martian ants in the habitat.
Timill
People were asking a few days ago about Helene’s aftermath in Asheville.
Here’s Asheville resident Tom Sullivan on the subject
Lily
Cool, swimming w manatees. I’ve only seen a few, but at the time was told they have a very distant connection to elephants via a common forebear. Still some structural similarities in teeth and things. Living life at a slow speed and harmlessly is another mystique.
WTFGhost
I love that you demand politeness towards manatees.
Denali5
@Timill:
Thank you for this link. I could hardly bear to read it, but the plight of western North Carolina has slipped out of the news, and I know that it will be years before full recovery is possible. I love the Smokies and will return, but not for a while.