Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

How stupid are these people?

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Come on, man.

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

“Just close your eyes and kiss the girl and go where the tilt-a-whirl takes you.” ~OzarkHillbilly

Hell hath no fury like a farmer bankrupted.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about it’s history.”

The lights are all blinking red.

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It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Super Bowl Open Thread

Super Bowl Open Thread

by | 156 Comments

This post is in: 

Figured we could use one since the game is about to start. I am really hoping Kendrick has Taylor Swift come on stage and do part of Bad Blood with him before going into Not Like Us.

In other news, Joelle and I have not seen Maxwell since 3-4 am when he jumped on my chest, and we have no idea if he is in the house or outside wandering (which is not good), so send your vibes and tell the little fucker to come home.

*** Update ***

We found Maxwell. Fucker.

Reader Interactions

156Comments

  4. 4.

    Suzanne

    The animal shelter is on Rio Salado and the 101, NE corner. If he gets out and someone calls Animal Control, that’s where they’ll take him. We had a broken gate one time, and pupper got out. I ran down there and picked her up.

  6. 6.

    WereBear

    Wander the neiborhood singing Maxwell ‘s Silver Hammer.

    So it won’t get monotonous. I once lost James Bond and it was weird. But I got him back!

    Hoping for quick resolution.

  8. 8.

    JPL

    The Chief’s TE after Kelce grew up in my home town and his wife went to high school two miles from my current  house.   You would think that a sign, but I say soar Eagles.

  17. 17.

    Gloria DryGarden

    @SpaceUnit: what? I’m not watching. A 5 minute poem? Tom cruise? No, and no. Amanda Goreman, perhaps I’d listen through a 5 minute poem. Omg. And I like poetry.

  18. 18.

    Soprano2

    @SpaceUnit: I know, I hate all that pre-game stuff

    They showed FFOTUS, I saw Ivanka but not Melania. I wonder if he has to pay her to show up.

  20. 20.

    hitchhiker

    not watching, but kinda rooting for the blue/green laundry guys — only b/c if they win they might snub that thug in the white house again.

  21. 21.

    Ohio Mom

    I don’t have enough to worry about Maxwell, now I have to worry about you?!! Go home to your mama and papa!

  22. 22.

    Professor Bigfoot

    The Fox News commercial did it for me.

    I’d rather not watch the damn game than hear their bullshit.

  25. 25.

    Raoul Paste

    So T-Mobile is teaming up with Starlink.  If I had T-Mobile service, I would get rid of it

  36. 36.

    Joseph Patrick Lurker

    Honestly don’t care who wins, just wanna see a competitive nail-biter.

    Also too, Kevin Harlan is GOD! He’s the greatest football play by play announcer of his generation, period, full-stop!

    Also too addendum, fuck fat ass Donald Trump!

  38. 38.

    John S.

    Oh boy, I’m sure people are going to love seeing Snoop Dogg (and Tom Brady, JFC) appear in a Stop Hate commercial after performing at Trump’s inauguration.

  39. 39.

    Elizabelle

    OK, I signed up for free account with Tubi; have the visual but no sound whatsoever, and only on the SBowl screen.  Any ideas??

  40. 40.

    CaseyL

    I have no TV and therefore don’t see the big-money ads.

    But I do watch (free) YouTube, which will interrupt any and all videos with ads multiple times.

    The YouTube ads are dreadful – health/diet quacks, “tactical” clothing and accessories, hair care, and craft kit ads narrated by people who sound like Katie Britt (or like Scarlett Johansson spoofing Katie Britt). At least the political ads are gone, though an occasional Sandy Hook Parent or Gaza Family stares mournfully at you and asks for money.

    I skip all of them as soon as possible. It would be hilarious if the algorithm was matching me up with products purely on the basis of my not hitting the “Skip” button fast enough.

  41. 41.

    Suzanne

    @John S.: I will never stop hating if Tom Brady is involved.

    I want to attach all those cups to his stupid face and turn the vacuum on high.

  44. 44.

    Elizabelle

    @SpaceUnit:   Thank you.  My MacBook Air.  Just signed up for Tubi like 10 minutes ago.

    Wonder if I should turn off and reboot?  Weird thing is the other channels and home screen do have sound.

  46. 46.

    J. Arthur Crank

    I am just following on the ESPN app Gamecast thing.   So far, it looks like the Eagles are dominating, which makes me happy since my favorite two teams are the Broncos and anyone who beats the Chiefs.

  47. 47.

    SpaceUnit

    @Elizabelle:

    I’m watching on my Roku TV.  At first it was only offering me the Spanish language version of the game.  I had to exit the channel and then go back to access the English version.  I think they’re having some tech glitches.

  51. 51.

    John S.

    God, these commercials are so tacky. Seems corporate America has decided to push the unity theme hard while Trump and Musk loot the joint and burn everything to the ground. Fuckers.

    ETA: OMG the fucking Eagles are dominating right now.

  58. 58.

    CaseyL

    Just saw the update that Maxwell, aka You Little Fucker, has come home, or been found where ever he was hiding. Great news!

    Where was he…?

  60. 60.

    Elizabelle

    @billcoop4:  Sounds like that might have happened, sadly.  Was mentioned on Wonkette (?), and concerned it is the same commenter.  Aged 60; I am not aware of any further details.

    Would have loved to have him live long enough to see democracy restored and The Felon (and suck up press) get their just desserts.  Alas.

  63. 63.

    Elizabelle

    Little Clydesdale!

    I don’t recognize these people in ads.  Goldilocks for RAM trucks:  was that someone famous?

  67. 67.

    Elizabelle

    @SpaceUnit:  Surprised how good the video is on the iPhone.  When I got it, could not imagine anyone watching anything extended on them.  But technology improved, and the phones are rather huge now …

  70. 70.

    Elizabelle

    The Chiefs are going to have an interesting locker room halftime conference, no?

    But.  I remember going home when the Falcons were way ahead of the Patriots, the Lady Gaga Super Bowl.  And then finding out the Patriots came back and won.

    Eagles TD.  Woo hoo.

  73. 73.

    Professor Bigfoot

    Chiefs are capable of coming back from this far; but those three sacks make me doubtful this time.

  74. 74.

    sab

    I hope I don’t piss off the blogmaster who is a mensch, but why is that cat allowed to run around outside? Outdoor cats have a two to five year life expectancy. Indoor cats have a twelve to fifteen year life expectancy. And it is worse for black cats. Invisible at night, and day or night lots of sickos have attitudes about them.

    So glad he is home safe again.

  79. 79.

    J. Arthur Crank

    @SpaceUnit:

    Chiefs gonna sneak out of the stadium at halftime.

    Not to quibble, but it seems they are being chased out at the moment. Mahomes et al. couldn’t even run out the clock, and the Eagles have 23 seconds and three time-outs to add a few more points before halftime.

  80. 80.

    Gloria DryGarden

    @sab: my outdoor cat made it to 16. But he was inside at night, no more waking up to break up cat fights and yowling. And he was smart about the road traffic.  Plus there weren’t coyotes in central Denver/ cap hill.
    loose dogs and other wildlife would definitely change the equation.

  82. 82.

    SpaceUnit

    @J. Arthur Crank:

    Yeah, it’s pretty much a bloodbath at this point.  Chiefs need to get to the exits.

     

    Stadium security should be on the lookout for a whole bunch of large men leaving the stadium in trench coats and sunglasses.

  83. 83.

    lowtechcyclist

    @SpaceUnit: ​
     

    Chiefs gonna sneak out of the stadium at halftime.

    Obviously won’t happen in a NFL game, let alone the Hyperbole, but wouldn’t it be hilarious if a team somewhere did that? Team A comes back out after halftime, looking forward to continuing to beat the crap out of Team B, but…no Team B!

    I once pulled something like that in a Diplomacy game, but that’s a story for another time.

  84. 84.

    J. Arthur Crank

    @Professor Bigfoot:

    Chiefs are capable of coming back from this far; but those three sacks make me doubtful this time.

    Eight out of 14 passes by Mahomes have been caught (a 57% percent rate), but unfortunately two of those catches were by the other team. Also too it seems that they have no running game. The ESPN app says there is a 98.4% chance the Eagles win this, and that seems about right.

  87. 87.

    Gloria DryGarden

    @CaseyL: and “patriot “ prep ads.
    i hated tv for the ads, but at least they wait until someone finished their sentences. You tube, however seems

     

    (returning after 2 ads) seems to be uncouth and rude and why do some of the ads seem microtargeted to me? Or is everyone on the same downhill health slide? Surely not.

  88. 88.

    SpaceUnit

    @lowtechcyclist:

    Or they could use the Bill Murray trick from Meatballs.  Yank down the opposing team’s pants and run then run like hell for the buses.

    “We’re gonna lose, but we can lose with some dignity.”

  90. 90.

    CaseyL

    @John Cole: ​

    Someone I used to work with had their cat – another strictly indoor kitty – vanish. They tore the house apart looking for him, and were reduced to wondering if he had been Raptured or something, when they found him behind a curtain that also happened to be behind a hutch. So he was double-hidden.

    The little bastard had, of course, heard his humans’ increasingly frantic calls and was probably giggling to himself.

  95. 95.

    Jackie

    @raven:

    Wonder how the prez likes the halftime show?

    I wonder how he’s enjoying the game, thus far? He hates the Eagles! ;D

  99. 99.

    sab

    @John Cole: Sorry to cast aspersions.

    Our little black cat Sadie dashed out the door one day. She had been watching a chipmunk out the window and just had to get it so she slipped out when I took out the trash.

    She dashed across the street and was gone for five hours. We were beside ourselves. Then after dark I opened the front door, and there she was waiting for dinner.

    She got out once in the new house when I was fucking around with the pitbull and her rope, so had the door behind me open too long unobserved. Saw the cat on ADT when dog and I were back in bed. There she was outside on the front porch looking lost.

    She is the only one of our seven cats who even wants outside, and she is the one cat we do not think has the common sense to last long out there.

    So apology to blogmaster.

  101. 101.

    SpaceUnit

    And speaking of tiresome, I can’t stand hip-hop.  If I had to choose between hip-hop and country music I would choose just shoot me.

    Yes, I am a crank.

  103. 103.

    SpaceUnit

    @Parfigliano:

    When did Tom Petty do the halftime?

     

    That was about the last time I remember enjoying the show.  Okay, maybe when Katy Perry did the show and Lefty Shark was a big hit.

  105. 105.

    A Ghost to Most

    @SpaceUnit:

    I accept that rap, like opera and musicals, have never been in the soundtrack of my life. As for country, Americana is not Nashville crap. More like golden age Stones.

  106. 106.

    J. Arthur Crank

    @CaseyL:   We had a kitten “hide” in the back of a sofa bed.  I had even opened the same sofa bed to make sure he was not underneath the mattress.  There was a slight gap in the fabric that covered the back, so he went up into that opening and was there for an hour or so.    By the time we found him, we looked literally every other possible place in the house.

  107. 107.

    geg6

    @A Ghost to Most:

    I think you need your hearing checked.  Worst announcer EVER.  Worse than Rush Limbaugh or Dennis Miller.  Like, really bad.  I don’t know how anyone listens to his whiny voice and weird pace of speaking.  He squicks me out in every way.  One of the main reasons I refuse to watch a Super Bowl for the first time in my life.  Well, that and I refuse to give any FOX entity my eyeballs.

  108. 108.

    Leto

    I saw the news about VDE’s passing when we first learned it, but didn’t get a chance to express my condolences; always a standup person and will be sorely missed. Hope he, efgoldman, and all the rest are having a tasty beverage together at the big BJ meetup.

  110. 110.

    SpaceUnit

    @A Ghost to Most:

    I’d love to see rock and roll make a comeback.  The music industry came to hate it though.  It was the music genre that didn’t behave – always splintering off in new directions.

    There are currently some signs of hope.

  114. 114.

    A Ghost to Most

    @SpaceUnit: Lots of great rock bands are hiding in the crack between country and the remains of rock. That’s where I live, musically.

  115. 115.

    J. Arthur Crank

    @SpaceUnit:

    Sweet Baby Jesus, Mahomes is getting his ass handed to him.

    Also too their defense is likewise getting their (collective) ass handed to them. At one point do the players have a tacit agreement to play out the game without any more hard hits just to get it over with?

  117. 117.

    Wyatt Salamanca

    What a snoozefest, this Super Bowl sucks big time. Watching grass grow or paint dry would be far more compelling.

  131. 131.

    Elizabelle

    Was glad to see the Chiefs succeed with a TD.  They looked like the Chiefs during that series of plays.

    Can be generous, but still rooting for the Eagles.

  133. 133.

    Mike E

    I just wanted to check in here with what has been a triple victory tonight: Eagles getting their 2nd Lombardi trophy and hopefully snubbing Shitler by turning down a White House visit again; driving Shit Face out of NOLA before halftime; and, ruining Fox in their pocket book with this blowout. Marvelous, well done Phila!

  136. 136.

    Gloria DryGarden

    @Wyatt Salamanca: not watching. But someone said they preferred a nail biter, an interesting competitive game.
    In ‘77, i watched a soccer match between the world’s top 2 teams, at the stadium in Uruguay. It was so evenly matched, the game would progress 4 m one way, 3m back the other way. At the most 8-10 m either way. On and on, very little progress, no drama. It was a surprisingly boring game. I had such hopes!

  137. 137.

    Gloria DryGarden

    @A Ghost to Most: with you.

    opera is an acquired taste, it’s taken decades, but I can appreciate it now. In small or carefully chosen doses. My dad had it playing a lot, at home, on the record player, even tried to get me to record one when he was going out of town. I was out at a Mozart opera the night my cat died…
    Musicals are almost endurable. It helps if I’ve sung parts of it in a school play or in chorus back in the day.

  140. 140.

    sab

    @Gloria DryGarden: I like some opera but mostly not.

    19th century not, but I am beginning to see why folks like Wagner.

    Verdi not so much. Puccini I do like. Britten I like.

    Mozart I love but apparently that proves I don’t even understand opera. Oh well.

  142. 142.

    Craig

    @A Ghost to Most: and Jim Nance brings him back. Brady’s show dynamic is that it’s his show. Kevin Burkhart has no clout as the play by play guy. Broadcasting is about teams of people. This team is all Brady. He’s somehow worse than Collinsworth which is something.

  143. 143.

    sab

    This game was so bad we are discussing opera. And I didn’t get to see the Puppy Bowl at all.

    ETA Apologies to Eagles fans, who saw a great game. But it was a blowout, so not a good game. A romp.

  144. 144.

    geg6

    @TBone:

    Know that me and all my Pittsburgh peeps are rooting for our bigger and less friendly sibling at the other end of the Commonwealth.  Hilarious that Mahomes and his orange buddy are having a very bad night on national tv.

  147. 147.

    Central Planning

    @SpaceUnit: I was at a concert for Peace the other night, and one of the composers played hip-hop violin. I have no idea what that sounds like yet, mostly because I can’t remember his name and I need to find the program to find him.

  150. 150.

    Gloria DryGarden

    @sab: This game was so bad we are discussing opera.

    laughing hard. Thank you! I think I’ll nominate that!

    I love Mozart. I didn’t know that meant I’m clueless, but ok.

    The early operas are more pleasing. Purcell, the Fairy Princess, Hildegard of bingen. Way old stuff. Check it out.

    And I like certain pieces that Pavarotti sings, and a few choruses out of all that Puccini and Verdi and Wagner stuff that poured through our house

  154. 154.

    Anyway

    @TBone: Yes, I am still celebrating.

    Yep. Break-room’s gonna be lit today! I managed to skip Dotord-sightings and the half-time show —- it’s so nice to win!

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