As you know, I have been booze free for over a decade. I want you all to know, though, that when it finally happens, to either one of them, I am drinking a bottle of champagne and then promptly getting back on the wagon.
I fucking hate these people.
War for Ukraine Day 1,112: Truce, Truce, Who’s Got the Truce?Reader Interactions
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- A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)
- AM in NC
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- Aziz, light!
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Ohio Mom
I’m imagining I will cry tears of happiness, go outside and bang a pot, realize the suburbs aren’t where I belong, and instead drive downtown, looking for other revelers. It’s a nice day dream.
Bionic Space Jellyfish
They aren’t worth breaking your sobriety.
I’m 8 years sober and I’ll enjoy a nice Mocktail for the occasion.
Raoul Paste
I will fly the American flag
Suzanne
Oh man, I hope it’s hilarious and embarrassing.
#pantsshittinggoodtime
Jackie
@Ohio Mom:
I’m sorry; I’m lost. What are we going to celebrate?
gsp
A decade has passed? Wow, I still remember the post where you said you’d had enough and were quitting. So happy for you John.
Cathie from Canada
@Jackie: the funerals of Trump and/or Vance
geg6
@Ohio Mom:
Same. Except I already am well aware that the suburbs are not where I belong.
geg6
@Cathie from Canada:
Don’t forget Elmo!
MobiusKlein
Don’t.
It will either be fun, and you will want to start again.
Or not fun, and that’s a waste of champagne
coin operated
maybe treat yourself to an extra gummie as an option?
Eduardo
I will dance like I did when Castro I died. It won’t be a conga in Miami but “gay music” in Wilton Manors. I hate them both.
Cathie from Canada
@geg6: oops, how could I have missed him!
geg6
By the way, Cole, I wouldn’t burn your sobriety for any of these human garbage cans. Get some sparkling grape juice and enjoy!
RepubAnon
There’s always sparkling apple cider. As for me, I’ll be shopping for garlic and silver-tipped wooden stakes soaked in holy water. Just to be sure.
geg6
@RepubAnon:
Good idea. We have to be sure.
satby
@Cathie from Canada: Betting Trump and Musk.
Ramalama
Holy shitbird. I’ve been coming by here since well before sobriety. Ten years????
ok, Cole. Do what you will. We’ve all got your virtual back.
AM in NC
So, I am in SC with the fam for a few days, and as we were walking the Eisenhower Exec Office Bldg this afternoon, two limo SUVs pull up right in front of us and Mark Fucking Zuckerberg gets out with his people (he’s in a suit) and goes inside for some meeting.
He was surprisingly short and slight. Perhaps explaining a lot about him.
my kids were terrified I’d yell something and get shot. I was frankly too surprised to speak in the moment.
i wondered why a security person had a dog check us as we walked by, and then the limos pulled up. Like we are fucking threats walking down an open public sidewalk.
I sure thought of a few choice things to say a couple
of minutes later.
Matt McIrvin
A song from 13 years ago, when they probably had someone else in mind (if anyone):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSQ8tZ35t4U
u
@geg6: Yeah; I’d vote for Elon to die first. Somehow he’s even more evil than Trump and Vance.
nwo joe
Not me. I’ve been sober for 27 years and no champagne will ever cross my lips. I will instead hydrate very well with a bottle of Martinelli’s finest, and will go piss on either or both graves.
I might have to keep the bottle with me; I bet there’ll be a line.
CW
There’s a bottle of champagne in the fridge with his name on it. I’ll have to buy a second bottle for when the muppet also kicks.
ArchTeryx
Can’t drink myself, mostly because my psychiatrist said, “Do you enjoy breathing? If so, do not take alcohol with these medicines.” So I’m a teetotaler. I do use medical pot, though, and find it far more pleasant than alcohol anyway. (No hangover).
Still, I was hoping for more of a response to the earlier thread about being an ally in these hard times, particularly from folks like Sister Golden Bear. I need all the advice I can get to keep everything from coming apart around me. I have people I truly want to protect, but don’t know what to do, or even how to maintain solidarity with my friends. Losing LBGTQ+ friends I’ve known for decades for no good reason just wrecked me. :(
flagpole
Color me 40 years dry this summer, and I’ll buy you the bottle ….. way tempted to indulge but I’d probably start chasing cars…..
danielx
Visual of guards on Felonious Orange’s resting place, not to guard it but keep in order the lines of people who want to piss on it.
StringOnAStick
I am just now reading about senator Merkley flat out asking in a committee meeting with two tRump nominees if tRump is a Russian asset. Why didn’t we hear more about this? It sounds like it was masterful. The meeting was on the 10th.
MisterForkbeard
Champagne and… some kind of ethnic food. Probably mexican.
Jeffro
@nwo joe: if the line is too long (as it almost surely will be) or the security is too tight (hard to say at this point) then my Plan B consists of a large Ziploc bag and a drone capable of carrying a large Ziploc bag full of liquid
one way or another, the job is getting DONE
Jackie
@geg6:
Or smoke a bowl :D
Thanks all for clearing my confusion? I’m still confused how Cole’s post made sense to all but me. I obviously missed something announced re FFOTUS and/or Vance’s health.
ArchTeryx
@Jeffro: A bag of literally flaming dogshit would do even better, if you want to bomb it with a drone.
danielx
@Jackie:
In the event of either or both of them shuffling off this mortal coil.
Other MJS
@u: Maybe he can pilot the next Starship launch.
Jeffro
@ArchTeryx: so, two drones, then?
the best kind of ‘double tap’
Jeffro
Btw I should mention that after the events of the past two months, not only does Mrs. Fro approve of either the in-person visit or the drone/drones, she wants in on it(!)
hello Musk/trumpov, you have activated a normie’s normie here and I don’t think she’s the only one…
comrade scotts agenda of rage
John: Lemme echo everybody else who’s saying it’s not worth falling off the wagon for that. Everybody gets the sentiment but so many people who’ve dealt with alcoholics and alcoholism over the years understand it’s a tight rope to walk.
Like others, wow, ten years, time flies. Different times in here back then. Glad you’re still sober.
Jackie
@danielx:
Where did this become a subject to even start this post? I guess I’m still totally lost. But I’m glad everyone agrees lol
ETA I’m going to bed. Hopefully this all makes more sense to me in the morning!
Jay
Keep in mind, it depends on what’s left of the smoking crater left behind in the US.
It could be like Mardi Gras, it could be massive country wide drone strikes.
Cold, wind and wet, (atmospheric river here).
Made Cabbage Roll Soup.
Thick cut bacon diced in the pot and cooked down,
Ground beef added and seasoned, (Season Salt, Montreal Steak Spice and fresh ground black pepper).
Brown off the beef.
Add half a chopped onion, sweat it down.
Add chopped carrot, celery.
When soft, add passata and tomato juice about an inch over cover.
Simmer for a while, then add chopped red pepper.
About 20 minutes before finish, add thin cut cabbage of your choice and pre-cooked long grain brown Jasmine rice. Serve when the cabbage is al dente. You want it thick like a stew, not thin like a soup.
JoeyJoeJoe
@StringOnAStick: Who would cover that? The NY Times? The online people who always say that democrats aren’t doing anything? It’s not the narrative that they want to push
Mr. Bemused Senior
Be well, John.
different-church-lady
Today’s thought: the only way justice will ever be met upon Dumbfuck Hitler is if, in the afterlife, he is forced to listen to someone scream, “YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!” over and over and over again for all of eternity.
RevRick
@geg6: Cole hates them. I hate what they have done to me.
There was a 50s movie, Forbidden Planet, where the murderous monster was a computer that unleashed the inhabitants worst emotions: the monster of the id. They ended up all dead, the story of Cain and Abel without limits.
Trump and MAGA have unleashed an ugliness in me that I’m having a hard time loving. It’s a good thing I will never gain the superpower of invisibility, because the temptation to stealth unalive… well, the number of billionaires, members of the rightwing ecosystem and GOP elected officials might approach zero.
Parfigliano
Texas megachurch pastor arrested for child sexual abuse. Always projection with these god pushing assholes.
different-church-lady
@satby: Fine, so three bottles.
kalakal
@Suzanne:
And in the middle of a speech
Parfigliano
@different-church-lady: So Trump never suffers justice
different-church-lady
@kalakal: I seriously think it would be great to watch Dumbfuck Hitler stroke out on live TV.
different-church-lady
@Parfigliano: Hey, sometimes prayers get answered.
Geoduck
As others have said, just two? The Shiatgibbon, Vance, Musk, Putin…
different-church-lady
@Geoduck: Right, four bottles then…
mrmoshpotato
Are you talking Putin and his orange bitch, Dump and Dunce,…?
There are just so many pairs of these fascist shitstains!
Oh! I forgot about the South African Nazi shitstain!
Well, I’ve been drinking – and enjoying a show about Cheesestate lighthouses.
mrmoshpotato
@different-church-lady: I’m thinking more along the lines of the orange shitstain joining his shitstain father in Hell.
And they can spend eternity telling each other what miserable piles of shit they both are. Because Fred was a miserable pile of shit too like his bitchass orange shitstain spawn who gobbles Kremlin cock.
jimmirabob
At this point the founders would be organizing and rolling the cannons out of storage. See also tar and feathers.
JoyceH
Personally, I’d like for Trump to live another twenty or more years. In solitary confinement. In a straitjacket. With television news piped in 24/7, so he can witness all his work undone and the earth healed from his stench and the new high school history books cover the Trump era like modern day Germany teaches the Third Reich. And his business is dismantled and his enablers and lawyers are imprisoned and/or disbarred. All of his children are penniless and Melania found a rich man much younger and nicer and looks luminous. He eats alone and nobody applauds when he walks into a room. He is alone and entirely unmourned. And then after getting weaker and weaker, then he can die. No state funeral, no presidential library. Nothing.
mrmoshpotato
@Jay: Slap it to me!
West of the Rockies
@Geoduck:
Might I add pencil-necked Tuberville (with his tuber-sized brain)? McConnell, MTG, Gaetz, et al.
mrmoshpotato
@JoyceH: Some of that TV feed needs to be Democratic voters calling him a loser shitstain who was never loved by his shitstain father, but Dump made himself of be an unlovable, miserable bitch in his adult life.
mrmoshpotato
@jimmirabob:
And showing some of these fascist shitstains what “drawn and quartered” means.
No One of Consequence
I’ve been here for a while. Years before I commented. I wasn’t around when Cole finally told the Pubs to pound sand, but I think it was via DKos a few days later. I remember the bit about him not being able to find the mustard. And I give a lot of grief, but I am happy for you John. I don’t drink much anymore, but I do confess to being Kind to myself. I suggest a nice spliff for those occasions, of something top-shelf and glorious.
Now as to speculation of your two, a current take on it would be Drumpf and Moosk. However, in light of longstanding enmities, I might wager a joint or two that the other might be The Lesser or Darth.
I must confess, there are several obituaries I look forward to reading. My own would be great, but failing that, I will settle for a list of Fuckers who left problems to fix. That list is long. Good news is, a few juicy ones are coming up, and I have it on good authority that Death is SHARPENING UP HIS SCYTHE IN GLORIOUS ANTICIPATION. (h/t to Sir Pratchett).
Interesting times.
-NOoC
frog
@danielx:
In honor of the Georgia GOP it will be illegal to pass out water bottles or food to those in line.
No One of Consequence
@mrmoshpotato: People blithely dole that one out, with little of any understanding how hellish such a thing would actually be. (shudder)
kalakal
@JoyceH: This is what I would like also. That and he gets to see, streamed to his cell, 24 hour daily live footage of the crowds queuing up at the D J Tmurp National Restroom
HopefullyNotcassandra
@JoeyJoeJoe: Strangely the NYT has been slightly better these days.
Here is a recent headline from Brent Stephen’s no less
“Making America Dumber Again.”
HopefullyNotcassandra
@different-church-lady: how about what is likely to occur (assuming we have souls that survive us)? The hungry orange ghost roaming the countryside forever and nobody, anywhere noticing anything is there ever at all.
TooManyJens
@JoyceH:
I get the appeal but god, I just want the world to be done with him forever.
ArchTeryx
@No One of Consequence: For some people on this planet, medieval torture is exactly what they deserve. Let their deaths be slow and painful, just like they wish on all the rest of us.
different-church-lady
@HopefullyNotcassandra: You might have a point: nothing hurts him more than the idea that nobody would pay attention to him.
different-church-lady
@ArchTeryx: If he were bound to a rock, I would never set an eagle upon him, but I would definitely set up a webcam if one were to happen by…
HopefullyNotcassandra
Don’t hand your achievement to nincompoops wearing ill-fitting ties. Eat something truly decadently delicious. Pair that taste sensation with a non-alcoholic kin instead.
https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/kin-euphorics-review/
I believe you meant when we drive the pathetic chaos agents from power, too. That is the day I will finally relax. I look forward to sleeping like I did the day Joe Biden was inaugurated.
ArchTeryx
@different-church-lady: Forget that. Look up the Blood Eagle sometime. Now that is medieval. Not for TCFG – his worst torture is to be universally ignored. But for certain MAGAts that would just love to go on a killing spree among us liberals, I’d happily participate in such a ceremony.
HopefullyNotcassandra
@different-church-lady: I think that is the most likely outcome because of what you just noted. The best thing our press could do is refuse to give him a platform on which to spread more lies, confusion and disunion.
jimmirabob
@No One of Consequence: Ultimately, as a student of history, I recognize exactly the price.
HopefullyNotcassandra
@ArchTeryx: No, I disagree: don’t go down that road! to participate in something like that would, I fear, break something inside the humanity of the participants. You don’t want that. We can punish the guilty under the rule of law. Do not give hate the satisfaction of refracting it.
HopefullyNotcassandra
@mrmoshpotato: be careful lest your anger remakes you as the hate you would like to see dissipated in this world.
Aziz, light!
I gave up alcohol four years ago for medical reasons, but keep an unopened bottle of very expensive single malt Scotch in the back of the cabinet to celebrate the glorious demise of the top motherfucker. Sadly, Musk will outlive me unless he dies of a ketamine overdose or burns to death in a Tesla fire, whichever comes first.
HopefullyNotcassandra
@West of the Rockies: Mitch McConnell, lately, has partially jumped off the insane trump train. I wonder how that even works.
How can you be half on and half off a moving freight train of putin’s greatest desires? It must be truly daunting right now what goes on inside the senior senator from Kentucky’s head.
ArchTeryx
@HopefullyNotcassandra: It’s a bit of a dark, bleak joke, but my humanity was broken long ago. I’m a furry. I grew up getting the crap kicked out of me by rich bullies.
And I also was raised by a falconer and WWII combat veteran. Let’s just say I was desensitized toward violence a long time ago. I really don’t like to perform it, but if I have to, I will. And since I live pretty close to a bunch of gun toting rural MAGAts, I expect trouble eventually. It’s happened before (though no violence actually resulted, no less than three armed people in this house chased them out).
HopefullyNotcassandra
@Parfigliano: How many does this make now? I have lost count
JoyceH
@TooManyJens:Oh, the world will be over with him, however long he lives. I think of it as something like Rudolf Hess, living on and on and on until he was the only prisoner left in Spandau Prison and the war was forty years over when he finally died by suicide at the age of 93.
Urza
@JoyceH: I’ve been thinking alot about Israel’s nazi hunters and the need to make it a full time gig fighting oncoming fascism forever, across the entire planet, regardless of the ‘will of the voters’. Anyone pushing the ideologies or funding it. The world can’t keep coming close to armageddon because the grandchildren of the people that went through it didn’t learn the lessons.
ArchTeryx
@HopefullyNotcassandra: He wasn’t called the Gravedigger of Democracy for nothing. Putin and his crew are just raiding the tomb at this point. If McConnell wasn’t a party apparatchik to the core, we wouldn’t have to be dealing with Trusk pillaging and burning DC.
Lynn Dee
@Cathie from Canada: Oh! I was thinking Trump and/or Musk. Maybe a threesome would be in order.
Hilfy
@geg6: Indeed. It must be the THREE of them, and when the Speaker of the House is a Democrat. Where did the saying come from…”Only the good die young”?
HopefullyNotcassandra
@ArchTeryx: I am sorry that violence hit you. Although I neither have, nor had anything like your experience, I used to be filled with (probably self) righteous hate at the hateful. All of that hate left me exhausted and did nothing at all to stop the actions I so abhorred.
HopefullyNotcassandra
@ArchTeryx: No doubt
Also quite clear Senator McConnell is experiencing the full effect of the consequences of his actions and recognizes how much worse it can still get.
ArchTeryx
@HopefullyNotcassandra: He built Frankenstein’s Monster. Now he’s having a moral conundrum because it’s rampaging over HIS state too? To hell with him. Let him retire in the ignominy he deserves.
cain
I plan on drinking on Cole’s behalf. Cole needs to stay on the wagon.
Instead, a marathon run of his favorite game seems appropriate… and well, sex. I mean, why not, right?
No One of Consequence
@ArchTeryx:
and
@jimmirabob:
That wasn’t a condescending remark, just that I didn’t think the reality of having three or four limbs nearly simultaneously being literally torn from your main corpus, AFTER being stretched to taut (and dislocating) tension between 4 horses for some indeterminate period of time — was something most folks had actually put much thought into.
Clearly, I find myself amongst some bloodthirsty individuals.
That’s probably for the best, given what I suspect is coming.
-NOoC
pieceofpeace
@JoyceH: Oooo, I like the way you think, plan and imagine!
Satanley (aka weasel)
I will drink to that!
sukabi
@Jackie: the end of an ERROR
Llelldorin
@Aziz, light!: Likewise. For that one thing, I’ll toast.
DK in SD
My wife and I have the same pact between us.
Ruckus
John, I used to travel a LOT when I worked in professional sports, on the road 6 days a week for 8 months in a row, for a couple of decades. So I ate out, most days/nights 8 months a year, often with participants and/or people that worked out of the spot light. A drink or two was not an unusual occasion, most evenings. Since I left that job, 20 yrs ago, haven’t had even a sip. I thought I’d want one, at least occasionally, but nope. This might change that. I said might!
My point is that I FULLY UNDERSTAND. Now I doubt I will have any alcohol but I will jump up and down and scream loudly when shitforbrains is out, done, finito, finie, ferdig, afgerond, finalizado, loki, amaitu, finished. In all my decades, in travels to other countries the word finished, in this instance will be and sound magical.
Ruckus
@JoyceH:
It’s a great idea, the icing on the cake, but is it at all likely?
Maybe we can have Balloon Juice gatherings all around the country and at a specific hour we can all hook up on a phone conference call and toast his ugly fat butt being hauled away.
Ruckus
@cain:
It doesn’t have to be a toast with alcohol. The concept is the same, liquor or not, and it’s because I don’t plan to drink alcohol either.
Maybe we could do meet ups and all of us, even in separate states could raise a toast, to the absolutely worst whatever the hell he is, is gone, Gone, GONE.
Ruckus
@HopefullyNotcassandra:
Mitch has been on the rethuglican train for a long time. Not close to or as insane or as much asshole as shitforbrains but still. He has been there. I believe that he sees this pretty much the same way as we do. A complete failure of conservatives and conservatism. He’s been on the conservative side, but not with his head buried up his, or anyone else’s asshole.
At least that’s my take. I won’t argue with anyone who says I didn’t go anywhere near far enough. But then Mitch is a human, on the other side of the aisle, not one that liked the view and smell of his head stuffed up his own ass, as shitforbrains seem’s to really enjoy.
prostratedragon
@HopefullyNotcassandra:
You get dragged.
ArchTeryx
@Ruckus: Mitch is a classic apparatchk; soulless and amoral with his sole goal being to keep his party in power at all costs, including democracy itself. It was his stolen Supreme Court picks that made Trusk king, and now the whole country will reap what he sowed. He also never failed to troll liberals as much as he could and lied just as much as Trump. I have zero sympathy for him. He can burn in hell.
Ruckus
@ArchTeryx:
I do not disagree one iota.
My point was that while he’s not good, he’s not as bad as he could have been. He’s next door to pure shit, doesn’t mind the smell, likely just wishes that shitforbrains was just a tad smarter and a hell of a lot less pompous and arrogant. So he could have gotten more rotten crap done.
NotMax
Screw the bottle. A magnum.
;)
NotMax
Handing the baton to Cab.
:)
Bruce K in ATH-GR
@Ruckus: President Krasnov doesn’t happen without Moscow Mitch McConnell. So that’s one more person whose gravesite I will make a point to visit and salt with used beer.
Once it’s safe to return.
Once America is once again safe for good people, and no longer safe for Nazis.
Martin
@Ruckus: Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t see a lot of daylight between the idiot who comes up with the dumb idea and the genius who can quietly implement said dumb idea. I have a lot more venom for the latter than the former, generally.
prostratedragon
@NotMax:
Ah, how often I’ve thought of that much-covered tune lately. Continuing a theme from severl threads ago, “He’s Mistra Know-it-all,” Stevie Wonder.
Tim in SF
I will walk down to Castro and 17th and join the tens of thousands of others who will be drinking and dancing in the street.
p.a.
What better incentive to get/keep yourself healthy than to outlive the orange shitstain and drink a toast (of any kind) to his demise.
In general, public urination is a misdemeanor w fine, correct? My choices for grave-pissing: scalia, lewis powell, and you-won’t-need-a-guess-who-else. And if caught, I might argue no crime: “political speech”.
A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)
@ArchTeryx: Come sit by me
eclare
Beautiful photo, WaterGirl.
TBone
I too have been almost sober for over a decade. Some occasions absolutely require champagne. John is a full grown adult and he knows what to do. I’m guessing that no well-intentioned advice will deter his jubilant celebration, or mine for that matter.
I add fresh squeezed orange juice with pulp and tell myself I need the fiber, vitamins, and minerals for health reasons. On rare occasions.
TBone
@NotMax: after being violently ill all night, that was a pleasure. Thanks once again!
Baud
Moved
Pittsburgh Mike
Actually, I assumed it was Musk or Trump.
JetsamPool
@ArchTeryx: Or come and get some of my cat’s exceedingly stinky poop.
rebelsdad
There are several Spotify playlists made for the occasion- just search “when it happens”
Nettoyeur
@Cathie from Canada: Or Elon
Nettoyeur
@p.a.: One nice thing about France is that discrete pissing outdoors,… eg behind a bush.. . is no big deal. When we moved from France to Australia, we had to explain to our 6 yr ild (who barely spoke English, despite being American) that he couldn’t do that anymore
Betty
@Jeffro: When my brother announces he is joining the vets protest at the state capitol, you know the fight is on.
xephyr
It will be a fine day when it happens, but I’d settle for seeing them stripped of power and relegated to cautionary tales in the history books. Please let either scenario happen during my lifetime…
JustRuss
@StringOnAStick: Merkley is a gem. I went to the first town hall he held in our town after getting elected. Liked him but he was pretty stiff. He’s come a long way.
JustRuss
@Nettoyeur: I remember seeing urinal troughs tucked away in alleys in French villages years ago. Should be mandatory world wide.
Elizabelle
@Nettoyeur: That’s hilarious.