I understand that these are dark times that call for courage. But keep in mind I am just a baby
— Jorts (and Jean) (@jortsthecat.bsky.social) March 14, 2025 at 8:21 PM
MisterMix was… less than complementary about his kid’s indoor cat’s intelligence yesterday. But (as we know), there is more than one form of ‘intelligence’, and our companion animals have different incentives than us thumbed apes!
Take the Notorious Jorts, for instance: internationally known for being kinda dumb! But if you look at the world from Jorts’ perspective… He was living out in the cold, scrounging from dumpsters, and *not* enjoying the experience. So he ingratiated himself through an office window, first with his ‘mentor’ tortie Jean, and then with the nice people who provide for Jean’s needs. Today, he is indoors, he has regular meals, help with the difficult life skills like grooming, and (not the least important factor) attention! He doesn’t need to grok having over a hundred thousand people following him on social media, but just look at him in that top photo and tell me he doesn’t love human attention!
Days since a trash can mishap: 0
This was a long time coming and it was a REALLY GOOD mishap bahahahaha full statement to follow— Jorts (and Jean) (@jortsthecat.bsky.social) March 12, 2025 at 1:12 AM
I was being a sneaky shark by myself and was under a shelf. A janitor coworker, lulled into a sense of security by hundreds of days without mishap, scanned for my presence but did not visually locate me elsewhere before beginning bin emptying routine. I saw my chance and had a moment of weakness
While hauling the bag out of the first bin, my coworker saw me from the corner of her eye as I lunged toward the full and unprotected bag.
She tried to rush out the back door with it before I snagged it with my awesome tiger claws. Alas
My wild leap clipped the edge of the second (also full) bin, tipping it against the back of the door, held ajar by spilled trash. My coworker tried to push the bin away from the door so she could re-enter. Naturally I tried to help, but ended up dislodging trash but accidentally being outside too
Then, the door closed. Lmao
I took this opportunity to panic and flop around on the bag already outside, tearing it open. My coworker had left her phone inside so had to catch a wet, chili-covered trash cat and squeeze through the gap between hedge and fence to approach a different door to buzz for entry. Someone was screaming
We got inside quickly and everything was fine other than all the trash all over the inside, the trash all over the outside, and the trash all over the Jorts.
This was a near-miss incident where nobody was injured, but following protocol would have prevented the mishap
The mishap prevention rule is to visually locate any Jortses and close them on the other side of the door before removing the garbage bag.
Like so many rules about occupational safety, this rule was written in blood. (Figuratively speaking. Written in trash)
Anyway, I left out some details but that’s the incident report explaining why you will find chili on your desk calendar when you get here in the morning.
Tomorrow is a new day and there is always new trash
narya
I love me some Jorts. The original saga (a Reddit thread now pinned to Jorts’ Bluesky feed) brought me to tears of laughter, and I occasionally re-read it when I need to smile. There is a Jorts SEA SHANTY, with two part and three-part harmonies. He refers to Newsom as Governor Haircut, IIRC
ETA: the lyrics make more sense if you read that Reddit thread.
MagdaInBlack
I had kind of forgotten about Jorts. Thank you for bringing him back to mind =-)
prostratedragon
Larry’s Caturday thread
Mike in Oly
Jorts is the best. Funny, entertaining, union advocate, and super cute.
TBone
Both Noah and Katrina have now become accustomed to extra food and treats in my dotage. Noah’s still not gained back all of his former chonk, and Katrina (musta been the runt of the litter) has always been a dainty princess. She is so petite that she looks like a teenager. These siblings have completely opposite personalities, although both got the ‘I luv my hooman’ affection gene. Noah started demanding drinks at my bathroom faucet years ago and, not to be outdone, Katrina demands her hydration from a freshly filled human glass. Not on the floor, Mom! Always a competition with these two.
MCat
@TBone: I love this. Demanding little creatures. And they steal our hearts.
Kristine
Much Jorts love 💕.
zhena gogolia
That last cartoon really sums up the cat-human relationship.
TBone
@MCat: When we met, they were so tiny they fit in the palm of my hand and I had to feed kitten milk through an eye dropper. They had me instantly.
Soprano2
@zhena gogolia: It sure does!
My cats have graduated to chasing each other in a more playful manner rather than fighting and hissing at each other. When it’s time for food they have a total truce, and can almost touch noses. So, progress.
TBone
@Soprano2: hip hip hooray!
TheOtherHank
This line the garbage mishap story made me giggle.
geg6
I love Jorts madly. That is all.
trollhattan
@zhena gogolia:
In the back of every housecat’s mind: “If I were only bigger….”
MCat
@TBone: That is so sweet. And you were so kind to do that. So they stole your heart at a very young age. Cats are magnificent creatures.
zhena gogolia
@trollhattan: It’s scary. I’m also struck when I see pictures of Big Cats how similar they look to housecats.
Anonymous at Work
Jorts is a ginger cat, so grading him on a curve, he’s a genius like Einstein or Newton.
zhena gogolia
@Anonymous at Work: Right.
CaseyL
@zhena gogolia:
Kevin Richardson’s YouTube channel, “The Lion Whisperer,” shows off the big cats living in his sanctuary (all, for various reasons, cannot live in the wild).
The black jaguars strike me as the most “house-cat”-like of all the big cats. Same facial expressions, same reactions to things, same body language. Much the same body and head conformation, too; just…. ten times the size.
zhena gogolia
@CaseyL: So cool.
sab
Some of our rescues ( previously homed cats now in a new home) take months to adjust. They missed their owners. Our two off the street strays/ semi- ferals took about a week to adjust. “Warm, dry, fed? I am okay here.”
Geminid
In case some jackal wants some cat-related entertainment and has not seen it, the documentary Kedi follows seven of Istanbul’s street cats through their varied days including interactions with their human neighbors (“Kedi” is Turkish for “cat”).
Kedi won director Ceyda Torun the 2016 Critics Choice award for Best First Documentary, and that year’s award for Best Living Subject of a Documentary went to The Cats of Istanbul. Ms. Torun and her team rigged a camera so as to be able film parts of the movie from cat level. They combined these shots with human level and drone shots showing the catseand their city.
The movie was somewhat of a homecoming for the director. Ceyda Torun grew up in Istanbul, and in her childhood wanderings she met many of the city’s estimated 150,000 street cats. Later, Torun’s family moved to Amman, Jordan.
Ms. Torun went to high school in the U.S., and earned an Anthropology degree from Boston University before moving to Europe to study filmmaking. Then she returned to Istanbul to make a documentary about some of the cats who’ve been repected citizens of her native city for almost two millennia.
Liminal Owl
@Geminid: Thank you! We heard about Kedi years ago and planned to watch it but then lost track. The reminder is much appreciated; hope we can find it.