Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

This is dead girl, live boy, a goat, two wetsuits and a dildo territory.  oh, and pink furry handcuffs.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

We are learning that “working class” means “white” for way too many people.

“Just close your eyes and kiss the girl and go where the tilt-a-whirl takes you.” ~OzarkHillbilly

Giving up is unforgivable.

Let me file that under fuck it.

This really is a full service blog.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Trump should be leading, not lying.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Humiliatingly small and eclipsed by the derision of millions.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Mediocre white men think RFK Jr’s pathetic midlife crisis is inspirational. The bar is set so low for them, it’s subterranean.

This chaos was totally avoidable.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Get Fucked Lady

Get Fucked Lady

by | 95 Comments

This post is in: 

Some fucking MAGA clown decided it would be cool to martyr herself and paint a giant ass target on her back, and I am willing to oblige and start throwing darts at her:

As a conservative woman living in Texas, I often feel like I’m living a dual reality. I’m a mom and a writer, but that’s not all. I go to church, laugh with friends and wave at my neighbors while we are walking our dogs.

At dinner, my kids and I discuss the Beatitudes, the Bill of Rights and the best and worst things that happened that day (we call them highs and lows). I love to cook, hate to clean and probably need to have a better morning routine. My life is similar to millions of other women in America.

But online, in the legacy news media and in my increasingly ugly inbox, I live in a different world. In that world, I’m portrayed − and viewed − through a singular lens: my conservative beliefs. As such, I am easy to hate, mock and scorn.

She’s a writer for USA Today, and I checked her twitter account to see what kind of wankery she is up to, and her last post was promoting a piece in the Atlantic called “I Can’t Keep Doing This. Please Open the Schools.” Yes, reopen the schools and kill lots of people because it is giving Nancy Russell a sad.

No one is picking on you because you identify as a conservative. We’re picking on you because you are supporting ghoulish and awful things. So go fuck yourself and I hope people keep being mean to you until you change.

Reader Interactions

95Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    No one is picking on you because you identify as a conservative. We’re picking on you because you are supporting ghoulish and awful things.

    Um…

  2. 2.

    A Ghost to Most

    Christian supremacists are professional victims. The bigger the cross, the bigger the victim, or grifter.

  4. 4.

    Mezz

    FUCKING PREACH PREACH PREACH JOHN COLE

     

    That significant numbers of people can no longer feel shame or embarrassment at their behavior and actions has to stop. Shame them, mock them and ridicule them in every proper environment.

    What was it they like to say? “Fuck Your Feelings”

  6. 6.

    comrade scotts agenda of rage

    @Baud:

    We’re Not The Worst!  We’re Not The Worst!

    ‘Murka, FUCK YEAH!

    OTOH, give us time.

  8. 8.

    matt

    I mean yeah, your politics are hostile to us and our (American) values and we see you and we’re ready to take it out of your hide.

    Deal with it.

  10. 10.

    Jay

    @A Ghost to Most:

    Given the tariffs on Canada, she should climb down off the cross. ‘Merica is going to need the wood to either build something, repair something or to make toilet paper.

  12. 12.

    NotMax

    Peeked at a few minutes of Dolt 47, flanked by Kid Rock, taking (softball) questions today in the Oval Office.

    Will spare y’all linkage to the logorrhea. Thing I noticed is he isn’t wearing a wedding ring. A new development?

  13. 13.

    Bupalos

    All I’d say to her is “name one of your conservative positions” and go from there.

    Actual conservatism has impeccable democratic legitimacy. Friendliness to post-truth right-wing populism via fake conservative martyrdom invites and needs violence. Like that’s literally its language and how it needs to be met.

  14. 14.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    At dinner, my kids and I discuss the Beatitudes, the Bill of Rights and the best and worst things that happened that day (we call them highs and lows). I love to cook, hate to clean and probably need to have a better morning routine. My life is similar to millions of other women in America.

    Huh, I wonder if when they discussed the Bill of Rights that they talked about how all of the rights of those being disappeared were violated because they criticized Israel’s conduct in Palestine? //

  15. 15.

    gratuitous

    I’d guess the only beatitude that gets any discussion is the one in the eleventh verse of Matthew chapter 5, as she deludes herself into thinking that she’s being persecuted because of her “christian” beliefs. I would point out to her that Jesus pronounced the blessing when people “falsely” accuse you of all manner of evil. Expressing disagreement isn’t persecution.

    And don’t get me started on Luke’s version of the beatitudes, which are even tougher on folks who claim to be all righteous and biblical while practicing very little of what the scripture says.

  16. 16.

    SpaceUnit

    I guess I’m out of the loop.  Did Texas close all the schools because of measles?

  17. 17.

    DFH

    Ladies lunch and ladies lie.

    “Look, you guys continue to ask a question about a third term, and then he answers honestly and candidly with a smile and then everyone here melts down about his answer,” Leavitt said.

    That asshole has never answered honestly, and neither do his press secretaries, but they do smile.

    I mean, wtf is that USA Today writer miffed about? If you vote for the Nazi, you’re the bad guy.

  18. 18.

    trollhattan

    @Baud: ​
    Seriously.

    “Ah-m a risktaker extraordinaire! I done brang my Jesus to Texas, y’all. You won’t believe what happened next.”

  19. 19.

    Baud

    @DFH:

    It’s a game. Media and Trump love talking about outrageous hypotheticals rather than report on what’s actually happening.

  20. 20.

    Elizabelle

    Not to be outdone by USA Today, the FTF Vichy NY Times put up another “come on down, conservative mommies” article today.

    This an op ed by some Midland, Texas woman who also writes for Christian publications.  Hey, her kids are vaccinated, but she understands how her neighbors are so skeptical.

    NY Times did a feature on Megyn Kelly yesterday, and puffed some magazine aimed at hot tradwives — don’t call them feminists, but here are some sex tips for wives — a few weeks ago.

    The AG Sulzberger NY Times does live in fantasy land.

  23. 23.

    Bupalos

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): I mean, she just suggested that MILLIONS of moms of people aged, what, 2-17 “discuss the beatitudes” at dinner.

    I mean, she’s lying or lying to herself to think that even her own massively privileged white ass does that absent payment. But NO. The response to this one should simply be “where the fuck do you think these people are discussing “the beatitudes” with toddlers are and how many of them do you think are Trumpists?”

    The only way you can even come up with that line is if you make your money fairly directly from supporting Trumpism. This is like 200 people nationwide.

  24. 24.

    scav

    Her “life is similar to millions of other women in America.” which is why she enthusiastically voted in favor of endangering women and mothers everywhere with inadequate healthcare in order to demonstrate to them their ordained status in life which is fucking less important than any random embryo, all hail the beatitudes!  And then they, the ungrateful hussies, fail to proclaim how perfect she is.  How dare the world make a moral judgement about her.

  25. 25.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @suzanne:

    Like these people actually give one fuck about the Bill of Rights or what Jesus said. They constantly make excuses for Trump and everyone else with an R after their name when they act in direct contradiction to those things

  27. 27.

    Elizabelle

    Will spare you the Vichy Times article and link.  Here are some popular reader comments on it.

    And, for goddamn shame, NY Times:

    The top reader comment:

    “Authorities I’d trusted to tell me when to vaccinate my children for measles and polio also said a cheap cloth mask from Old Navy could help protect them from microscopic pathogens.” No, they didn’t say that. They said that the virus spread with tiny droplets of saliva, and you could lower the number of those droplets you expelled by covering your face. That actually *does* make sense, which is why they said it. They also said that real protection only came with better filtration. You just heard what you wanted to hear, and attributed to the people saying it a degree of certainty that they never themselves claimed. And after doing so, you blame them for losing your trust.

    and

    Sanity of below the line comments are a relief after the fuzzy conspiracy thinking in this clickbait article. Odd choice of opinion to publish; surely there are better voices who could present “the other side” of the issue more sensibly and informedly.

    and

    We’re doomed. This heartfelt op-ed—which is really simply dishing out boilerplate Republican talk radio arguments—is riddled with falsehoods, selfish righteousness, and ultimately cruelty that shows an anti-American surge transforming our national character of freedom and compassion to one of Nazi-like cruelty.

    Other reader comments point out the lies about government recommendation on masks (hello: n95s once available, despite Trump refusing to mass produce them, are effective). Others note the cruel disregard for the health of teachers or older relatives, should schools have been simply kept open.. I would add to that the unforgivable Republican callousness about well over one million dead Americans resulting largely from taking Trumps advice and disregarding government recommendations.

    I’ve always thought seatbelt laws give a simple insight to view the insanity of the Republican idea of freedom. Conservatives fight the idea of public safety and in the 1960s were against seatbelt laws with the selfish logic that it should be individual choice to use a seatbelt. They couldn’t care less about increased deaths, the cost to the public, or more importantly, the death and injury of minors and other passengers. Same of course with gun laws. In essence, Republican ideology that is at the root of this op ed is closer in spirit to the ancient tribalism of the Taliban than the American Constitution.

    Recall:  this asinine op ed made it past the Vichy Times editors.   Writer wants a commission to look at what went wrong with Covid response.  Why am I seeing a gallows going up, meant for Dr. Fauci?

  28. 28.

    oldgold

    At dinner she discusses with her kids the Beatitudes! It is too damn bad that she apparently has no understanding as to their meaning. Or, on the off chance she does, she has turned her back on their instructional value for living life. The philosophy the Beatitudes espouse is the antithesis of MAGA.

  29. 29.

    Bupalos

    This columnist literally wrote this hoping that liberal blogs would do this. We’ll cooperate, because it works for us too.

    This is the internet economy.

  31. 31.

    Princess

    Yet another white lady who wants to make appalling choices but not have any accountability for their consequences.

  33. 33.

    SpaceUnit

    @Baud:

    Wow.  I’ve been boycotting national media since the election.  Only watching the local news and I didn’t see anything about the schools shutting down everywhere.  I thought it was only one or two school districts.

    Maybe it’s time I climbed out of the cave.

  34. 34.

    WTFGhost

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): or how mercy is granted the merciful, how the children of God are the peacemakers, not the shit stirrers, or how the meek, not the blindly arrogant will inherit the land, or… oh, hell with it, if it was my mom, I’d have a dozen e-mail accounts just to harass her and see if I can get her to stop talking about the effing bill of rights and beatitudes, all to keep her from being a hideously vacuous individual to be lecturing others on morality.

    “Geez, mom, you wrote that article six months ago, there are only 8 beatitudes and 10 amendments in the bill of rights, GIVE IT A REST ALREADY!”

    Oh, wait, she never actually held a dinnertime conversation with her kids about the beatitudes or the bill of rights, but expects us to believe she does… every night!

  36. 36.

    Elizabelle

    The other thing:  have you noticed how you cannot avoid Trump’s ugly orange face, which is plastered all over the FTF NY Times, and WaPost, and probably CNN and other sites too.   Multiple photos every day. They did not do that with Biden; he was roundly ignored.

    Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump.  Whether the Vichy Times realizes it or not, he has branded them.

    Yet:  virtually no magazines with Trump on the cover of them in supermarkets. It is my sense they do not sell well to the general public.

  39. 39.

    Spanky

    @SpaceUnit: Yeah, I didn’t know what she was talking about, so I Googled “Texas schools closed” and this is what I got:

    Several Texas school districts are facing closures due to a combination of factors including declining enrollment, stagnant state funding, and budget deficits, forcing districts to make difficult decisions to address financial strain.

    Here’s a more detailed breakdown:

    • Declining Enrollment:
      Many districts are experiencing a decrease in student population, leading to reduced state funding and budget shortfalls.

    • Stagnant State Funding:
      Despite a record-setting revenue surplus, the state hasn’t increased funding for public education, particularly after 2019, leaving districts with limited resources.

    • Budget Deficits:
      The combination of declining enrollment and stagnant state funding has resulted in projected budget deficits for many districts, making school closures a necessary, albeit difficult, measure.

    Tl;dr Because Texas.

  44. 44.

    Elizabelle

    @Baud:  Got to go out, but I was surprised and delighted to get an email from Hillary’s Onward Together and it was not a plea for money (although link provided at very end.)  A lot of you probably got it too, but in event not:

    Happy spring, [Elizabelle]. It’s been a while since we checked in, so I thought I’d share some of what’s been on my mind, along with a few things I’ve read and loved.

    First, I’m sure that many of you have read the nearly unbelievable account by Jeff Goldberg, editor-in-chief of The Atlantic, of being added to a group chat where senior White House officials were planning an attack on the Houthi militia in Yemen. The hypocrisy of all these men who spent years shouting about IT security is astounding, but to focus on that would be missing the point. There is a much larger issue here that goes far beyond the group chat. They are playing a dangerous game when it comes to our national security. And it’s just dumb. I don’t say that lightly. But there is no other word for it. So I wrote about it in Friday’s New York Times. I hope you’ll take a look.

    I also can’t recommend enough Heather Cox Richardson’s fascinating newsletter on the history behind our politics. In particular, I loved this view on 15 years of the Affordable Care Act. At a time when the very act of remembering our history is under attack from one political party, it feels more important than ever to know how we got to where we are.

    And last but certainly not least, I’m taking heart from this visualization of the rise of renewable energy sourcesaround the globe.

    This Women’s History Month, I’ve also found myself thinking about the women I know who exemplify what it means to keep showing up — like Representative Brittany Pettersen, who got on a plane from Colorado with her newborn son so that she could vote in person against the GOP’s cruel budget after Congressional leaders denied her the option to vote remotely. And like my dear friend Nita Lowey, who was first elected to Congress at the age of 51 — and would go on to spend more than three decades fighting for her constituents. She passed away this month, and I can’t tell you how much I already miss her.

    Progress, as they say, is possible but not guaranteed, and I’m so grateful to you for remaining a part of this work. Keep an eye on your inbox, [Elizabelle]. I look forward to continuing this conversation in the months to come.

    Onward!

    Hillary

    Gawd, I wish that Kamala had done something like this first.  All I get in her name are constant pleas for money.  That seems like malpractice, when she had so many enthusiastic and committed supporters.

    No.  I want something like Hillary was perceptive enough to put out.

    Learn up, Democrats.

    ETA:  Also, I loved her shoutout to Heather Cox Richardson.

  48. 48.

    WTFGhost

    @Elizabelle: to be morbid, a lot of Republicans won’t believe they’re part of something awful, until someone like Fauci is brutally murdered and too many people cheer. They literally can’t see how lost they are, having supported Trump’s coup and Covid-19 deaths, and theft and distribution of some of our most closely guarded secrets, and the massive amounts of fraud, because something something and Joe Biden is old.

    They don’t care about the ordinary, faceless people who die, because they’re not really *people*, right? God didn’t tell them to love one another as God loved them, right? Oh, sure, *Jesus*, he said something different, but that’s not the same as *God* saying you had to treat people well, that you had to desire justice, no, that’s just… you know, *Jesustalk*, not the important stuff like murdering sluts who have abortions (but not the fine holy women who need help after an accidental pregnancy), persecuting trans folks for existing, and bashing gay people in God’s name, because Jesus said he came to bring, not peace, but a sword, and he definitely wanted it used to bash gays, amiright?

    Sorry. That they wrap this crap in the cloak of Christianity reminds me of the bit about whitewashed sepulchers.

  49. 49.

    Elizabelle

    @SpaceUnit:  Silly rabbit.

    Texas has schools so it can have an outsize influence on the textbooks — particularly history — our guinea pigs  students are taught.

  53. 53.

    RaflW

    She can absolutely get fucked for her bullshit potshot at ‘legacy media.’ Just today, FTFNYT has decided that Trump potentially pushing 20-25% inflation on millions of imported items is “a gamble”, but when Biden spent four years trying (and largely succeeding) in maneuvering through an economy that could have crashed and, yes, did have inflation, it was his endless Waterloo.

    The legacy media has bent over backwards for a solid decade now trying to ‘understand’ conservatives with their endless Cletus safaris to small town diners. I hope that woman’s dirty kitchen gives her just a touch of dysentery.  Weekly.

  55. 55.

    tobie

    @Elizabelle: I can’t begin to count the ways I misd Hillary but I’d start with her vast storehouse of knowledge, her quickness on her feet, her humor, her directness, her commitment. She’s brilliant and caring and we treated her like shit.

  59. 59.

    Gretchen

    @Elizabelle: an estimated 250,000 kids lost a parent or primary caregiver to covid, including kids who brought covid home from school and gave it to parents. These people never mention this statistic.

  60. 60.

    Elizabelle

    @Gretchen:  They died with Covid.  Other causes.  Remember that shit?

    Kay used to remind that these people want to be respected and liked.

    Well, no.  Not if they cannot think and see more clearly than that.  They are bad people

    And now the Vichy NY Times and USA Today are trying to sanewash them, too.

  63. 63.

    Gretchen

    @Elizabelle: A cheap cloth mask did actually help protect people when nothing else was available. Studies showed they stopped about 60% of virus particles, while surgical were about 80% and N95 were, yes, 95% effective. People like this have a black/white view of the world – either they work or don’t. Some work better than others is way too hard for them to understand.

    Same with the lab leak theory. They said early on that was as likely as natural origin, and later got more information and decided it was pretty  unlikely. But people like this are stuck on, he said lab leak on February 3 and then in March said it wasn’t! He’s a liar!

  66. 66.

    JML

    Anyone who claims to discuss the Bill of Rights at the dinner table on a nightly basis is a lying sack of crap. That’s just fantasy land self-buffing to try and insulate herself against criticism by including something that she thinks no one can argue against. But it’s a damn lie, and anything this fucking liar says should be ignored.

  67. 67.

    rikyrah

    Trump administration pulls $42M from Michigan schools for pre-approved projects, state says

    The federal education department has pulled back more than $40 million in funds that were destined for more than two dozen Michigan school districts, the state said.

    The money, totaling nearly $42 million, would have been spent on the heating, ventilation, windows, air conditioning, and other building infrastructure for 27 different districts, the news release sent Monday said.

    School districts applying for the money had already received approval from the U.S. Education Department.

    full story here: https://www.fox2detroit.com/news/trump-administration-pulls-40m-from-michigan-schools-pre-approved-projects

  68. 68.

    rikyrah

    No one is picking on you because you identify as a conservative. We’re picking on you because you are supporting ghoulish and awful things.

     

    this this this

  69. 69.

    brendancalling

    @Spanky: I have very little sympathy for Texas, writ large. I do have sympathy for the good people who live there and who, for one reason or another can’t or won’t leave.

  71. 71.

    Redshift

    @JML:

    Anyone who claims to discuss the Bill of Rights at the dinner table on a nightly basis is a lying sack of crap.

    It’s quite plausible, as long as you assume that the discussion of the Bill of Rights never stays from freedom of religion…

  72. 72.

    David T Rickard

    A MAGA “Christian” who knows what the Beatitudes are, never mind reads and discusses them? That’s some first-class bullshit there.

  74. 74.

    mrmoshpotato

    She’s a writer for USA Today, and I checked her twitter account to see what kind of wankery she is up to, and her last post was promoting a piece in the Atlantic called “I Can’t Keep Doing This. Please Open the Schools.” Yes, reopen the schools and kill lots of people because it is giving Nancy Russell a sad.

    So Nicole Russell hates her children, and definitely shouldn’t have voted for a fascist shitstain who said a worldwide pandemic was a hoax.

  76. 76.

    Captain C

    If she’s discussing the beatitudes it’s probably along the lines of  “ how to do the opposite and still be a good Christian.”

  77. 77.

    The Audacity of Krope

    @Captain C: If she’s discussing the beatitudes it’s probably along the lines of “ how to do the opposite and still be a good Christian.”

    All you need is to identify as a Christian and accept “Christ’s salvation ” The teaching of Jesus don’t factor into being a good Christian or not.

    ETA: Those teachings might even be a barrier.

  78. 78.

    Soprano2

    I wonder if the author ever saw how conservatives online mocked Karine Jean-Pierre. I saw some of it, and I guarantee you it was grosser than anything the left is saying about Leavitt.

  81. 81.

    zhena gogolia

    @Soprano2: I get the hard copy paper. I throw out everything but arts and food. AND EVEN IN THOSE SECTIONS YOU HAVE TO READ ABOUT FUCKHEAD

    Biden was never once in the Arts or Food section. Not once.

  83. 83.

    prostratedragon

    @DFH:

    “Look, you guys continue to ask a question about a third term, and then he answers honestly and candidly with a smile and then everyone here melts down about his answer,” Leavitt said.

    Just a sunny greeting from good ol’ Ed.

  86. 86.

    David Collier-Brown

    @gratuitous:

    And don’t get me started on Luke’s version of the beatitudes, which are even tougher on folks who claim to be all righteous and biblical while practising very little of what the scripture says.

    Oh, I see. She’s a _Pharisee_.

  89. 89.

    BellyCat

    @Elizabelle: Go HRC!

    Where art tho her Mr. President husband, Kamala, and the man who joked into reality this disaster, Barack Obama? (All of whom I love and also voted for). Crickets…

  90. 90.

    NotMax

    @Harrison Wesley

    Before I give you your bag lunches, fruits of my loins, let’s hear the sandwich song.

    My baloney has a first name
    It’s J-e-s-u-s
    My baloney has a second name
    It’s S-a-v-e-s
    //

  91. 91.

    Splitting Image

    @David T Rickard:

    A MAGA “Christian” who knows what the Beatitudes are, never mind reads and discusses them? That’s some first-class bullshit there.

    The real reason the three dollar bill Christians hated The Life of Brian was that it hits you with with Beatitudes the minute you walk in to the picture.

    They hate that stuff.

    The movie also makes fun of Pontius Pilate, the real hero of the Gospels. There is a lot to admire about a guy who rose to power through his connections, antagonized religious minorities for shits and giggles, executed anybody he felt like, and then washed his hands of the matter and said he took no responsibility for anything.

  92. 92.

    Tom Q

    @zhena gogolia: I still get the print edition delivered — wouldn’t if I wasn’t life-bound to the puzzle.

    Like you, I stick to the arts section (conveniently, where the puzzle is found), plus I look for the obits, to see if I missed anyone important dying.  Don’t even set eyes on the front page, anymore.

  94. 94.

    Feckless

    Content of her character.

    But for your oppression she would be writing for a Real newspaper!

  95. 95.

    Rugosa

    @suzanne: I read most of that – I can’t seem to get all the way through these vomits of self-righteousness.  I’m willing to bet that the “discussions” are mostly her lecturing her bored kids.

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