This thread had me thinking today about depression, anxiety . . . and gratitude. I was thinking about gratitude because it occurred to me I am in trial, juggling important things in a half-dozen other cases this month, but . . . I’m fine. In fact I’m finding joy in life.
/1
— Aiding And Abetting Terrorists Hat (@kenwhite.bsky.social) April 9, 2025 at 4:37 PM
/2 That proposition — that I could be OKAY while under objectively big stressors, and in fact even enjoy life during them — would be pretty much unthinkable during a bad depression/anxiety cycle. Even though I’ve been in this good place many times before it would be unthinkable, unbelievable.
— Aiding And Abetting Terrorists Hat (@kenwhite.bsky.social) April 9, 2025 at 4:38 PM
/3 That’s because depression and anxiety lie to you, rob you of context, shut you away from hope. They make you forget and disbelieve the thing you know — that things can get better, that they WILL get better. That people care. That you can get help.
— Aiding And Abetting Terrorists Hat (@kenwhite.bsky.social) April 9, 2025 at 4:40 PM
/4 So: if you’re not in a great place this week, if your depression and anxiety are on an upswing, then I’d just ask you to engage in a moment of faith. I’d ask you to imagine, to hypothesize, that things will get better, that this will pass, that there is hope, because I know it’s hard to see.
— Aiding And Abetting Terrorists Hat (@kenwhite.bsky.social) April 9, 2025 at 4:41 PM
/5 Believe in hope even if you don’t feel it right now. Ask for support. Lean on loved ones and friends. It will get better even if you can’t see it now.
— Aiding And Abetting Terrorists Hat (@kenwhite.bsky.social) April 9, 2025 at 4:42 PM
On The Road – Auntie Anne – Southeast Asia – Kuang Si Waterfall and Others, Laos 4 of 4
Baud
I’m busy, and I don’t like being busy.
Justjames
When you’re at the bottom of the ditch, it’s hard to see out of the ditch.
satby
@Justjames: But there is a way out, even when you don’t see it. And that’s the point, you have to hold on to the hope even when it’s hard to; because change is constant, and things will get better if you can just hold on.
NotMax
“I do believe that most men live lives of quiet desperation. For despair, optimism is the only practical solution. Hope is practical. Because eliminate that and it’s pretty scary. Hope at least gives you the option of living.”
– Harry Nilsson
.
“Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”
– Vaclav Havel
.
Shalimar
@satby: There is a way out and there is definitely hope. We will all have better days in the future. But damned it would help if that gigantic backhoe would stop making the fucking ditch bigger.
peter
After the Soviet Union detonated its first atomic bomb in 1949, the atmosphere in Washington was fearful and anxious, with lots of finger-pointing and scapegoating. We must do something! Robert Oppenheimer was asked by a panic-stricken Senator as he was leaving a hearing, “But Doctor, what shall we do now?” Oppenheimer‘s reply was simple: “Stay strong and hold on to our friends.”
MagdaInBlack
Right now I’m taking the Dory advice from “Finding Nemo.”
Just keep swimming.
Baud
@MagdaInBlack:
Like
schrodingers_cat
Keep calm and make 🎨 art.
Gin & Tonic
OT? russian general killed by car bomb in Moscow. Steve Witless has arrived today for “peace” talks. This seems like Budanov making a statement.
AM in NC
I have been so consumed with anger because of all the rightwing fuckery, and I have finally decided that I can’t let it consume me.
I have been upping my quota of giving random (but truly-meant) compliments to strangers. It makes us all feel good. I especially go out of my way to compliment people not in my demographic groups. That and working in the yard every day is keeping me steady.
And thanks to everyone here for the community. I have a great support system/friend/family group IRL, but this is another community I treasure.
Baud
@Gin & Tonic:
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
stinger
Thanks, Anne Laurie, Ken White, and all the Jackals.
prostratedragon
Who knows? One day the horse might sing.
Librettist
6′ 3″ 245
Jackie
Tides turning?
This will chap FFOTUS’s hide! :-D
bjacques
@Gin & Tonic: Obligatory:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq-yBB3DSGk
lowtechcyclist
Good morning, AL!
And good morning to all the rest of you too. 🙂
mrmoshpotato
@Librettist:
Smallest hands in history.
prostratedragon
It’s about the image of the moon:
sab
@Librettist: He admits to weight gain. Triple it to get the real gain, then add that to your adjustment for his lies four years ago.
Large lad, as my husband calls our huge but trim cat. So our not trim president is large for his height. Taft without the intelligence.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@schrodingers_cat: @AM in NC: Good suggestions, both of you. Thanks.
sab
My grocery chain also is a bakery so I don’t normally wander down the cookie aisle. Also I bake my own.
Anyway I did wander down the cookie aisle, and there were Archway cookies. Yum.
Husband likes the rasberry filled, but the oatmeal are lembas to me. ( LOTR best cookies ever, made by Elves, not Keebler elves.)
SiubhanDuinne
@prostratedragon:
Our Tom Levenson would enjoy that thread!
Thanks for linking it. Fascinating confluence of art, science, religion, and history.
rikyrah
Good Morning Everyone 😊 😊 😊
prostratedragon
@sab:
Scott Daly, now with the Bears, 6-1 and 240.
Professor Bigfoot
I wish I could read that whole thread, but the Hat has me blocked. <sigh>
Jeffg166
The felon’s greatest fear is to be labeled unpopular.
Be optimistic, he could drop dead today.
Baud
@rikyrah:
Good morning.
prostratedragon
@SiubhanDuinne:
I got it from Adam Kucharski‘s feed. He’s an epidemiologist and mathematician with a lot of interesting things going on. This comment from a more general discussion made me laugh out loud, thinking of all the “tech whizzes” besetting us lately:
Jeffro
@Shalimar: this!
Soprano2
I can’t believe someone told him depression isn’t a real thing. That person has never had any experience with it, that’s for sure!
I try to find joy where I can, that’s what my therapist tells me to do. I’m kind of sad this week because of some stuff going on at the bar (found out my manager is dating one of the bartenders, who will definitely be leaving now!). I suspected something but never had any real proof to hang my suspicions on, and I try to stay out of their personal lives. This, however, affects my bar, thus it’s my business. Manager and I will be having a talk – for the most part he’s a great guy, but when the little head starts doing the thinking it often makes poor decisions. *sigh* ETA – he’d better not try to tell me this was about his personal life, we’ve had that conversation once already. I don’t care about his personal life – unless it affects my bar!
Spanky
You can have any color you want, as long as it’s gray.
Yeah, I know. “Backed by Bezos.” Doesn’t go into detail as to what that exactly means, though.
LAC
Good morning. Thank you, AL, for the post. Feels like you are reading my mind this week.
Heading down with the hubby to the national gallery later to immerse ourselves in art, beauty, and hope ..
narya
Thanks for sharing that, AL. I really appreciate how Ken has been so open about his experiences and struggles; it really helps me understand and help my friends who share those struggles.
narya
@prostratedragon: That was really interesting!
Baud
@Spanky:
So now magazines are getting onto the EV business?
Gin & Tonic
@Spanky: “with first deliveries targeted for the last quarter of 2026”
Let’s set a reminder.
UncleEbeneezer
Popehat’s thread conveys optimism/hope the way Obama, Hillary, Biden and Harris all expressed so wonderfully. He needs to be primaried, protested and pushed aside…
E.
@Soprano2: Okay so you are firing the employee and having a “talk” with the manager??
Soprano2
@E.: No, the employee has already said she’s leaving. It’s a situation where I can’t really fire him, at least not right now. Actually, I was told she was leaving a month ago, before I knew this was going on. I’ve been told she also drinks while she’s working, which is definitely a firing offense! (I learned this from people I trust to tell me the truth, I have never observed her being drunk on the job but I’m not there all the time she’s there.) The problem is that he is her boss, so they can’t work together because it’s causing all kinds of problems with the other employees. So yeah, that’s what’s going to happen for now. ETA – come live my life and tell me you have time to find another manager. He made a mistake, which I’ll make clear can’t happen again, but she’s drinking on the job (should have included that in the first post) so she definitely has to go; it’s a liability problem!
Professor Bigfoot
@UncleEbeneezer: man, you clearly have your finger on the pulse of the electorate! <snicker>
frosty
Steve Bannon, quoted in Heather Cox Richardson’s newsletter this morning. What timeline is this, where Steve Bannon says something sensible and I agree with it?
Professor Bigfoot
@Soprano2: Obviously you’re the “commander on the scene” and you actually KNOW these folks… but I am always concerned in these situations with how the power imbalance was navigated— sometimes these ‘office romances’ are legit and I’ve seen more than one lead to a happy, successful couple; but when one of them is in the other’s direct report, I’m automatically suspicious of the “boss,” first.
(but as you say, *good luck finding another manager who’s good at it quickly* and whooooo, I’m glad I don’t have your desk!! ;) )
Baud
@frosty:
He doesn’t care if brown shirts have it. He just doesn’t like Musk.
Spanky
@frosty: Well, the last phrase says it all. Any entity not controlled by my boss, is what he’s complaining about.
Frankly, I’m not happy with the way he’d have it be.
NotMax
@frosty
Two disparate entities?
//
artem1s
@Gin & Tonic:
Witless, seriously? Honestly I try hard not to pay attention to the minor characters in this execrable plot line but FFS they are killing irony with these spot on comic book/super villain names.
Wapiti
@AM in NC: Giving people compliments is a good one. I cultivated a habit of using optimistic language and tone after watching a neighbor who did it all of the time. Barista announces my coffee order, I say something like “Excellent! Thank you!” It cheers me up – I just got excellent service.
Sonya Lyubomirsky, in “The How of Happiness” goes into different strategies that people can use to improve their personal happiness. Avoiding overthinking things is another I work on, stopping my brain from dwelling on the shit in the world.
Gin & Tonic
@artem1s: The name on his passport is “Witkoff” but I find “Witless” to be a more accurate descriptor of his abilities. Apologies for the confusion.
Spanky
@NotMax: Not in Bannon’s mind.
Bupalos
@Spanky: I think the best hope for a truly cheap EV in the U.S. is going to have to be a new company that offers a single model. They’re all too worried about canibalizing their own existing profits. It’s both predictable and kind of shocking, but this stage of capitalism is basically shying away from ev’s BECAUSE THEY ARE BETTER. Dealers don’t want to sell ev’s because they’re more reliable and cut their maintenance profits, unions don’t want to build them because they take less parts and assembly, manufacturers don’t want to develop and offer them as they eat up higher priced ICE models….
The only things they have going for them is that they are better for the owner and don’t destroy the means of life on the planet.
schrodingers_cat
To all the kitteh and puppeh lovers out there, check out the YT channel Girl with the Dogs. You’ll thank me later.
Harrison Wesley
@frosty: The Alley Sleeper vs. The Skipping Dipshit – 15 minute time limit, 3 falls, in the steel cage.
chemiclord
@Jackie:
Ah, gotta love Americans, who love any number of ideas in the abstract, until you actually try to do them and they realize it’s horrific… then promptly forget how horrific you and your policies are.
schrodingers_cat
@Bupalos: I used to think you are a RWNJ but you are a tankie, same difference. All your comments make so much sense now.
prostratedragon
April Ryan:
In case you’re wondering, here’s an archive link from April 3 to an article about Lonnie Bunch, director of the Smithsonian as a whole, who Chuckles didn’t bother to call before announcing the changes he was imposing. Lonnie (I do know him though not very well), who will probably stay untill he can no longer protect anything, tells a story of when he walked the man through the African American museum in 2019 that sums it up quite well.
Ella in New Mexico
All I can say is that the BJ crew and it’s feel of a community are one of the major blessings I count on everyday to stay less depressed and hopeless.
After all, how do you not get a high when you read commetary like this:
“And this senator, sounding like an embarrassed dad trying to talk a Golden Corral manager out of firing his son, who was caught jerking off in the mop closet”
Priceless wordbliss there, Betty :-D
Baud
@chemiclord:
The flip side is that they think everything Dems propose (Obamacare, financial regulation, etc.) will destroy the country, jobs, and the economy, Dems enact these policies at high political cost, things actually get a lot better for folks, and then they fall for the next big scare tactic against further progress.
schrodingers_cat
@Baud: Is they in the comment, white people or the media or both?
NotMax
@prostratedragon
In need of a shadow Smithsonian.
Baud
@schrodingers_cat:
The collective that is this country. One can drill down and figure out which subgroups are more likely to act in the way I describe and which are full of decent folks.
RevRick
Barbara Ehrenreich, in her book Brightsided, written as she battled with the cancer that would eventually take her life, railed against positive thinking as destructive of what makes us human. As a pastor, I saw this play out at funerals, which became, over the years, “Celebrations of Life.” And my unspoken response was always, “WTF?”
We have moved to a place where grief, fear, and despair are stigmatized. It has become shameful to acknowledge defeat or weakness of any sort, and the result is often a toxic masculinity of buried emotions and seething anger.
I celebrate that Popehat has gotten to a place where he faces challenges without anxiety or depression. I, too, struggled with depression for much of my life, and I often tried to mask it with a false cheeriness. But I am wary of injunctions to “ have faith” or “have hope,” because unless they are anchored in something, they just punish people as failures.
I think there are two parts to the sickness of our society.
One, I believe, is how we handle death and dying.
Back in the 1980s, Phillipe Aries, the French historian, traced beliefs and practices about death and dying over a millennium of Western civilization. He identified five distinct attitudes: the Tame Death, the Death of the Self, Remote and Imminent Death, the Death of the Other, and Death Untamed. We’re in the last category. And Aries links this change over time to changes and weakening of beliefs and practices.
The second, I believe, is attached to how we define happiness. It has become, for us, a pleasant emotional state, which makes it solely a matter of the individual. And that makes us driven, lonely and insatiable.
When does one ever “have” enough happiness? What will make us happy? Is it more?
What is common to our attitudes towards death and our beliefs about happiness is that they inevitably lead us to disconnection. From others, but also from our own selves. And that disconnection is precisely what makes us miserable.
Ancient philosophers, according to Mortimer Adler, defined happiness as “getting what you want, but only wanting what you ought to want.” It’s a pro-social view. My happiness depends on my being connected to others in ways that help us both flourish.
Harrison Wesley
@prostratedragon: Disgraceful.
Spanky
@prostratedragon: So they’re sending the lunch counter back to Woolworth’s? Uhhhhh-huh.
Baud
@RevRick:
I disagree. I think these things are indulged in large parts of society, especially online.
frosty
@Spanky: @NotMax: @Baud: You’re all correct. I didn’t read that last line closely enough at first.
ArchTeryx
@Baud: Can we trade? I’m not busy and I really want to be busy.
Soprano2
@prostratedragon: That is shocking and stupid. These people supposedly don’t want to “erase history”, but are in the process of erasing history they don’t like.
Bupalos
@Spanky: Oh yes very much so in Bannon’s mind.
The reason I think it’s worthwhile to counter the simplifying views on this movement (“it’s all about the racism” (or sexism, or homophobia, or grift etc.) is because any of the “it’s all x” descriptions force a kind of myopia. It misses that in terms of political salience all of these are downstream of a crisis in civic and institutional trust in a time of global destabilization and it leaves us less able to see how complex (and potentially fragile) things like MAGA actually are. Ban on represents a certain faction, Musk a completely different one, Bessent a third… and these folks don’t have the same views or interests. Bessent, Musk, and Bannon all hate each other, and to varying degrees hate or laugh at Trump who they each believe they can control. It’s true that there are social threads (like racism) that allow them to cooperate and give them common enemies, but it’s wrong to believe these factions “are just about” the things that they do have in common.
BC in Illinois
@prostratedragon:
The Trumpian approach to education, information, and even facts needs one continual response: “What is it, exactly, that you want people NOT to know?”
RevRick
@Baud: I guess we don’t see the same things. I see a lot of expressions of disgust, contempt and anger. Underlying them is a lot of fear, grief and despair, but I find them expressed in unhealthy ways.
ArchTeryx
It’s very hard for me to maintain hope any more and that’s the truth.
I’m autistic, and I’m being lined up yet again for some kind of home grown Aktion T4, enough that I am preparing to have to run from my own country just to survive. That is not a first world problem, and being chronically ill and late middle aged to boot, it’s going to be very hard… if I make it at all.
My group of friends fell comletely apart, thanks to the strain on a couple of my LGBTQ+ members breaking them and turning them antisocial and hostile. They split the group down the middle and everyone was underbussing everyone else. It was a total disaster, and a complete failure of leadership on my part.
I vacillate between just getting my gun and shooting myself and going out in a blaze of glory. (No, I don’t use suicide hotlines. I know where those end up, and our local cops would just as soon shoot me themselves as assist in any way).
Baud
@Bupalos:
Fixed to clarify, because I see a lot of “No war but class war” rhetoric online.
Harrison Wesley
@BC in Illinois: Anything that upsets white people.
Bupalos
@schrodingers_cat: We’ll I’d say that’s getting warmer, anyway.
Just to complicate things, more than once I have stood in the yard of a church on the corner of two state routes in red exurbia holding my hand-made “end American Apartheid” sign.
Not alone. And the rage of the MAGA’s can be a little scary!
Soprano2
@RevRick: I hate fake cheeriness, the commandment to always be happy and for women to always smile. That said, clinical depression is a different animal than a bad mood or transient unhappiness over a particular situation, and it calls for different measures.
As far as dying and grief, I agree 10,000% with what you say. Our society as a whole is in denial about death and the grief that comes with it. I always tell people who ask that the first year without your loved one is going to suck, that there is no way to get around that, and that eventually your grief will ease but you can’t force it to go away. I also always tell people that getting help, whether it’s a support group or individual therapy, can be good and is certainly not a cause for shame. I think it’s especially hard for men, who are supposed to be stoic and tough and hold it all in. The support groups I use for people who are caregivers for those with dementia have been a great help and comfort to me. If nothing else, you can talk to those people about things that no one else would understand. In my last group there were four older women talking to a new member who is having extreme guilt over the idea that she needs to place her 96-year-old mother in a nursing home, because she can no longer adequately care for her.
prostratedragon
@NotMax: Tell me about. I do believe virtual tours exist and can be redeployed so thatpeople can see the ideas of the exhibits in the intended context.
lowtechcyclist
@Spanky:
Would an advertisement of theirs be a #Slatepitch ?
Professor Bigfoot
@Baud: VERY mild disagreement: what I see indulged most is Fear, and its big burly bodyguards, Anger and Rage.
I think of it as a side effect of American masculine culture: the only legitimate emotions are fear and anger.
Bupalos
@Baud: yes “grift” means oligarchy there.
it’s not that any of these are not real or massive, and they may each suggest viable political avenues for us to fight back. It’s that they invite us to miss the bigger picture.
Gin & Tonic
@RevRick: I truly appreciate your sensible and thought-provoking comments.
Harrison Wesley
@Professor Bigfoot: I agree, and I think the usual practice is to try to hide the fear behind the anger.
lowtechcyclist
@prostratedragon:
That’s horrific! Has this dismantling already happened? Is it in progress? I’d be willing to get my ass downtown and put my body in the way of the people trying to remove the Woolworth’s lunch counter exhibit, if it isn’t too late.
lowtechcyclist
@Bupalos:
How about Stephen Miller and Russell Vought?
lowtechcyclist
@BC in Illinois:
The answer to that question: that Blacks, Hispanics, women, LGBTQ+, are all people just as much as they are, and are not inferior races/genders/etc.
“Sin, young man, is when you treat people as things.” – Granny Weatherwax
prostratedragon
@Professor Bigfoot: Also anger at not getting things that either don’t exist or are otherwise unalterably out of reach. When these get mixed up with grief from loss of life it makes the recovery much harder.
prostratedragon
@lowtechcyclist: Good question to which I don’t fully know an answer, only that per the article, some owners of loaned items have already been contacted by mail.
Bupalos
@Gin & Tonic: I second this. And I’m a dyed in the wool atheist at this point, but reminded frequently in my own life as well in my historical reading that the church is and has been a repository of conscience, pro-social solidarity, and wisdom. And RevRick is a great representative of that part of the religious tradition.
Quiltingfool
@AM in NC: I get that anger, and I have to work on myself to “ration” the anger.
My dad had surgery this week (skin cancer, then Moh’s skin graft, and the surgery this week was to restore his nose to normal, lol). He had the surgery at Kansas University Medical Center. What was so uplifting about being there while he was being tended to, was how friendly and personable EVERY SINGLE PERSON who worked there was to me (and everybody else). Does everyone go through “be kind to everyone” training there?
Made me feel better about people, that there is still kindness and caring out there.
Oh, Dad did fine. He turned 90 today, as a matter of fact!
StringOnAStick
@RevRick: I’m someone who has had chronic depression issues since I was 10 years old, a couple of suicidal ideation periods, the whole ball of depressive wax. Two years ago I did a supervised psilocybin “trip” with dealing with the source of my depression as a goal after reading Michael Pollan’s book How to Change Your Mind, and it changed mine, that’s for sure. I find that one of the biggest things that supports my state of relieved from depression is creating community in every way that feels right. The biggest sources of joy in my life involve playing music with a wide range of fellow musicians, and the gardening partnership I have with our next door neighbor. I have been organically just being cheerful and upbeat to everyone I encounter in my daily life, and spreading joy is contagious. It’s also amazing to me to see how it brightens someone else’s day, and I hope it carries on with how they treat themselves and others too. A little joy shared with others is essential these days.
chemiclord
@Professor Bigfoot:
And fear is only acceptable when it is a prelude to anger.
zhena gogolia
@schrodingers_cat: That’s great!
Gloria DryGarden
@MagdaInBlack: keep writing mediocre poetry, and singing silly songs.
Also, keep dancing, if possible.
Quaker in a Basement
Also, don’t forget to remind yourself that it’s actually just like a bad acid trip. It’s brain chemistry that has mostly nothing to do with reality.
Gloria DryGarden
@NotMax: yes! Brilliant!
A traveling show in libraries and church basements, if need be.
absolutely!
thalarctosMaritimus
@Quiltingfool:
It wouldn’t surprise me if they did. I just got into nursing school, and the humane aspects of dealing with patients, family, and visitors are explicitly emphasized. When we’re demo’ing a nursing skill, “express gratitude to the {patient | family | visitor} for {doing whatever it was you asked them to do}” is often listed as an actual step in the procedure.
I think it’s a welcome correction to practices of the past.
Ruckus
@RevRick:
The back fence and your neighbors concept has changed over the last relatively short time in humanity. In my lifetime we went from a lot of people not even having a phone, to carrying one with you everywhere. We went from cars that only sort of worked to most of them working quite well. And on and on and on. We went from learning basic math in school (2+2=4) to learning geometry and trigonometry and far beyond. Humanity has in many ways learned how to be healthy or at least a lot healthier than when this old fart was born in the first half of the prior century.
What many haven’t learned is how to live and let live. It seems that many humans need to be “better” – than everyone else, and many have failed at that because what we need is to just be a better human being. It’s not a contest or a game and while many know this, many will never admit it. Even to themselves. It’s life. We make up stories about getting more than one – but no one has ever been able to show any evidence whatsoever. We think we like power so much that we often turn to pure shit trying to get more than everyone else. And it often makes everything far worse. For everyone. It’s humanity, in all it’s greatness and in all it’s pure crap. I’ve been in situations where one absolutely has to work with others to survive, and have seen that some don’t get this in any way, shape or form. But then it is humanity.
Kayla Rudbek
@schrodingers_cat: yes, and I will “knit on through all crises” as Elizabeth Zimmermann said