Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Republicans in disarray!

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

“Alexa, change the president.”

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Not rolling over. fuck you, make me.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

This chaos was totally avoidable.

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Readership Capture / Thursday Evening Open Thread: Acerbic Celebration

Thursday Evening Open Thread: Acerbic Celebration

by | 84 Comments

This post is in: 

COOKIE TABLE

[image or embed]

— darth™️ (@darthbluesky.bsky.social) May 7, 2025 at 8:33 PM

Joelle controls the wedding planning, of couse… but a late September date means Cole could plan a truly epic, artisanal pickle fountain for his bachelor party…

Pickle fountain is my goal:
www.instagram.com/reel/DFr3KRk…

— John P (@drhypercube.bsky.social) May 7, 2025 at 8:50 PM

Screengrab to give folks who don't want to click through the gist of it:

[image or embed]

— John P (@drhypercube.bsky.social) May 7, 2025 at 8:53 PM

Reader Interactions

84Comments

  1. 1.

    SpaceUnit

    Don’t knock the french fries on a sandwich until you’ve had one after a night out drinking on the South Side.

     

    Also, every Pittsburgh wedding must offer baked ziti.  It’s the law.

  2. 2.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    My niece got married a year ago in Pittsburgh. The reception was at the Heinz Museum.  The cookie table was a huge display of yellow bridges.  It was amazing.

  3. 3.

    KrackenJack

    At least you won’t have to worry about the guests cramping up after hours of disco dancing.

  4. 4.

    geg6

    Cookie tables are the most awesome thing about Pittsburgh.  Close behind are the French fries on sandwiches and salads.  I don’t even eat French fries normally.  Just on a good Primanti’s sandwich or a steak salad.  In fact, I just ordered a steak salad from a local pub.  Can’t wait for it to get here!

  5. 5.

    Citizen Alan

    I nearly screamed out loud at the side of the pickle fountain. Few foods on this planet cause me to recoil in disgust the way pickles do.

  8. 8.

    West of the Rockies

    May your nuptials (weird word) be most excellent!

    Anyone have any thoughts on Trump naming Pirro US attorney for DC?

  9. 9.

    NutmegAgain

    Wow. Just wow. That pickle fountain is some kind of new frontier.  I love the idea of the cookie table. It’s new to me, but looks celebratory, social and delish. Just the right thing. Do guests get cookie (doggy) bags to grab a few? So many choices in this brave new world

    eta: Isn’t a sandwich of french fries (chips) on white bread a British tradition?

  10. 10.

    ronno2018

    how do we get a wedding invite?  some sort of go fund me winner who donates the most for a good cause???  :)

  13. 13.

    Tehanu

    My daughter-in-law makes a sushi cake every year for both my grandsons’ birthdays, at their request (along with the more usual chocolate cake). Highly recommend it for festive occasions!

  14. 14.

    comrade scotts agenda of rage

    I went up to Boulder today to have lunch with a recently departed commenter here.  Turns out it was graduation day.

    Then it hit me: 40 years ago today (or within a day or three) I got my MA at CU-Boulder.

    But that’s not what made me feel old, learning that Bob Seger just turned 80 made me feel old.

  15. 15.

    Soprano2

    We had Polish martinis at our wedding, courtesy of a couple of friends and help from the catering staff – pickle juice and vodka. I even took a sip for a picture. Not recommended.

  16. 16.

    sab

    OT : Took Echo and Solly in to meet their new vet today. I told him we were up to seven cats. He said at our age we should be downsizing with cats not increasing.

    I agreed. I told him I agreed but we had them because they were a bonded pair about to be euthanized because the owner didn’t want to separate them. He was shocked but agreed we had to take them.

    He is a nice vet with massive cat charisma but still a vet.

    Six hours later both cats have forgiven me.

  18. 18.

    Steve in the ATL

    A pickle fountain is well worthy of mockery, but still far less tacky than a cash bar or dollar dance.

  21. 21.

    suzanne

    i am down with most wedding traditions, including the cookie table. But there is one that I cannot abide.

    If the groom shoves his new bride’s face in the cake, and I’m there to see it, I’ll deck him myself.

    ETA: And help her file that annulment the next day.

  22. 22.

    SpaceUnit

    @Melancholy Jaques:

    They eat tons of kielbasa in Pittsburgh too.  Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I don’t really dislike it, but I don’t go looking for it.

    ETA:  I no longer live there, but the school cafeterias served it a couple times a week.

  23. 23.

    Keith P

    I went to one with a grit bar. It was great. Stone ground grits in a big cauldron with a ton of condiments- cheeses, Virginia ham, bacon, green onions, etc

  24. 24.

    MagdaInBlack

    Watching trumps big Oval Office trade deal (ha) press conf. I swear he is snoozin’ at the desk. He def had the snappy head bobs.

    JFC.

  27. 27.

    MagdaInBlack

    @Soprano2: I admit I used to like a dill pickle juice martini. But it didn’t have a name, it was just something we thought might be tasty, and it was.

  30. 30.

    HinTN

    I would ALMOST come off the beach vacation for a batchelor party with a fucking pickle fountain. Ball’s in your court, Cole.

  37. 37.

    MazeDancer

    So “DaPope”, as Bears Fans are calling him in Chicago, would not pass the “one droo“ rule.

    His maternal grandparents were Seventh Ward Creoles in New Orleans. They moved to Chicago when their house was destroyed for a highway.

  40. 40.

    Kelly

    @WaterGirl: @eclare:

    I have her off leash in the same woods below our home we’ve been walking her on leash. I think the experience really helps. She knows this is our territory. When summer comes and the snow melts in the Cascades we’ll have some great walks in the high country. Looking forward to some beach trips to.

    She get several times more exercise off leash.

  41. 41.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    @MagdaInBlack: If Biden did that a thousand headlines would would be written to find hundreds of slightly different ways to say that maybe he should resign if he can’t stay awake through a meeting. But not one tomorrow will wonder whether maybe Trump is too old.

    Despite the fact that, and follow me closely here, Biden governed well, lawfully and competently. Trump has broken the law and fucked up every which way in his few months so far. You’d think the question of who is too old for the job would hang at least a little on the issue of competence vs incompetence but apparently that’s irrelevant.

  46. 46.

    Eric S.

    @Steve in the ATL: Tackiest thing I ever witnessed at a wedding: auctioning off the brides garter. I was a friend of the bride. Her embarrassment was palpable. Especially when only her FIL and BIL were bidding. My date had the presence of mind to elbow me in the ribs. Another friend and I bid to make sure her new inlaws didn’t end up with her garter. We apologized for participating. She thanked us for doing so.

  47. 47.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    @MagdaInBlack: I have some vodka on hand, and pickles! Probably a better move that thinking about the mother of all double standards.

  48. 48.

    HopefullyNotcassandra

    @Citizen Alan: all pickles?

    @Craig:  again all pickles?  There are butter pickles and sweet pickles and larb-pickles and spicy hot pickles and varieties aplenty of the vinegar-y variety.  That is just what I know about pickles.  There are likely many pickles of which I know nothing.

    I have eaten butter pickles so good they still appear occasionally in dreams.

  52. 52.

    MazeDancer

    @Spanky:

    Oops. One drop.

    As in, the Pope would be Black in certain circles. Local New Orleans and Chicago media is all over it.

    Also, a lotta year book photos online.

  55. 55.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Keith P: ​
     

    I went to one with a grit bar. It was great. Stone ground grits in a big cauldron with a ton of condiments- cheeses, Virginia ham, bacon, green onions, etc

    Sounds like it has possibilities! And my wife would think she’d died and gone to heaven.

  56. 56.

    Mai Naem mobile

    I had driven several times in a commercial/industrial area where there’s a retail building with a cookie sign. I happened to drive through the area in the evening. Each time the parking lot was packed. I was driving and it was dark so I  didn’t really notice much except for the cookie sign and parking lot. I get home and decide to look this place up thinking it must be really good and maybe next time stop by and buy some cookies. Yeah, found out it sells weed cookies. Lol. It’s a couple of miles from the ASU campus so can’t be that far from where Joelle lives but I doubt weed cookies would be  welcome at their wedding cookie table.

  58. 58.

    Mai Naem mobile

    @MagdaInBlack: i am waiting for Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson to do a big story on how tfg’s staff are doing a huge cover up of tfg’s real medical condition and his declining cognitive abilities. I have a feeling I’ll be waiting till tfg is dead.

  61. 61.

    MagdaInBlack

    @Mai Naem mobile: well, the Adderall kicked in and he’s now quite coherent. It’s all his usual lying with a lot of words that say very little, but he’s alert and yammering away.

    ( I watch so you don’t have to ;-)

    Eta: I think he gets bored and dozes off whenever the topic isn’t him.

  62. 62.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Eric S.: ​

    Tackiest thing I ever witnessed at a wedding: auctioning off the brides garter.

    That’s not just tacky and embarrassing, that’s weird.

    Presumably at that point, the groom has already removed the garter from his bride’s thigh, in full view of everyone, right? (Can you say “symbolic deflowering”? I knew you could!) That’s weird enough, tyvm. And I’m glad that most weddings I’ve been at (including my own) skipped that bit.

    I’m not sure where the symbolism goes from there with the garter being freakin’ auctioned off, but I really don’t want to even think about it.

  63. 63.

    Suzanne

    @Eric S.: Tackiest thing I ever observed at a wedding was at my oldest cousin’s. My aunt and uncle, the bride’s parents, had divorced about a year before. The wedding was at 10 AM or so, but my uncle’s good pal showed up absolutely shitfaced. My cousin had a friend of hers, who is gay, read a poem at the ceremony. Drunk asshole friend starts raucously chortling during the poem reading.

    Later, at the reception, we’re all hanging out, and my uncle and his friend came walking drunkenly over. My mom greeted my uncle, her now-former BIL. Uncle introduces her to his friend and says, in front of the whole family, “This is the sister I shoulda married!”.

  65. 65.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Steve in the ATL: ​
     

    what rhymes with “e-bike”? Gotta keep with the times!

    I don’t know what rhymes with it, but it got me to the store and back yesterday and still had almost all of its charge left, so it’s passed the test.

  67. 67.

    Steve in the ATL

    @Sister Golden Bear: I suspect that blended Scotch is the Federalist Society version of boxed wine.

    As I always like to remind people, the biggest assholes in law school–which is really saying something–were the Federalist Society people.

  69. 69.

    Eric S.

    @Suzanne: if I think back on it I could probably, maybe?, think of something tackier done by a drunk and/or jerk at a wedding. But as a scheduled event? Hard to beat that auction.

  73. 73.

    Gvg

    @Suzanne: I think it’s a really old tradition. I’ve seen several variations of traditions involving garters, and the new husband removing it in front of the crowd. I am pretty sure it’s related to medieval traditions. The ones for noble marriages sometimes called for the bride to undress in front of the crowd of witnesses to make sure she wasn’t hiding any deformities that could prevent bearing a child. That’s horrifying. Nearly everything I have read about marriage traditions before maybe 1960 sounds terrible to me. We still have a ways to go.

  74. 74.

    Jay

    @Gvg:

    Our marriage tradition, was a  Civil Marriage in the upper meadow, in Carharts, with 2 witnesses, Alton Browned Ribs for 8 guests at the reception with potato salad, Jay Salad and Mexican corn.

    Blackberry and apple pie with real vanilla ice cream.

  75. 75.

    Suzanne

    @Gvg: There’s the lovely Italian tradition of hanging out the wedding night sheet the day after, too. Not fucked up at all.

  76. 76.

    Jay

    Had Alton Browned ribs for dinner last night, got dibs on what was left for tonight, picked up 2 more racks, (good prices) so more in process.

  79. 79.

    RevRick

    @geg6: When I served a church in Western PA from 75-88, the weddings I performed were mostly of the firehall variety. Which meant that the women’s auxiliary provided a buffet offering a choice between chicken and roast beef or ham, baked ziti, canned green beans, canned carrots and canned corn, plus rolls. The fancier options included a fresh veggie tray. And yes, cookies and a wedding cake.

  81. 81.

    RevRick

    @lowtechcyclist: Oh, in the wedding receptions I observed in western PA , first the bride tossed her bouquet, then the groom removed the garter from her thigh, then he tossed the garter, and the guy who caught it then placed it on the leg of the woman who caught the bouquet, often with raucous urging for him to go higher!
    It was appalling.
    Life among the white working class.

  82. 82.

    Jackie

    @Jay:

    First marriage was Italian. At the time, I asked my Ex what the ketchup packets were for.

    Thanks for the genuine beverage spewing laugh! 😂  🤣  😂

Comments are closed.